241: Hong Kong, Joe Rogan and Tim
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Why?
We haven't even done it tonight?
Yes, we're out.
Let's hang in.
Oh, nice.
Why?
Hey.
I'll tell you a bit.
Because why?
I asked Joe Broden if he fucked any of the chicks on the show.
Okay.
He did not.
Yeah, but he...
No, I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.
Oh, what did you say to him?
I said that you're a fan of his fear factor.
No!
I didn't fuck anyone!
We want him on the...
What's fear factor?
It's a show.
I didn't even know...
What is it?
Are you fucking...
You're lying.
Channel 1010, man.
I don't have channel 1010.
20 years ago...
Netflix.
No, the truth doesn't have channel 1010.
Sorry, mate.
The spare TV doesn't play it.
1010.
What's 1010?
Do I want 20?
1000.
The digital channels.
I don't have digital ones.
Okay.
I can't afford it.
So, 20 years ago, there's a show called Fear Factor.
It's my car.
I'm going to be ready tomorrow.
No.
Listen.
Fuck.
Just don't buy the wrong bumper from...
I'll pay them for them.
I'll pay them.
I'm going to buy it.
I'll tell them anytime.
We've got extra spoiler on it.
Oh, if I bring his front lip, can you install it?
Also, can you not bang the...
What?
Can you hit me?
Oh, this is delicious.
Can you not bang it?
Bang.
Bang.
How'd you get his name on the top of it, Mark?
What are you talking about?
How'd you put his name on the top?
What do you mean, his name where?
On the top of it.
You probably sent it by the internet.
Yeah, but he hasn't got my details.
I sent the details.
Show me the email.
I've got to find it.
You're a liar.
I'll find it.
It's got my name Tim, for fuck's sake.
What?
That guy's American.
I don't know how to do it if you make it look like you did.
Just print it off.
You print it off.
You print it off.
You print it off.
Yeah.
You just reply to the email.
Yeah, I'll send you the email.
I'll reach your email and send you the print.
That gets mixed up, Diz.
It gets mixed in the big 311 mixer.
Then, in the past, they would hand pick it up and put it in the...
The mixer.
The portion mixer.
It would make portions of pucks.
And then we'd hand...
Hey, Rick, Rick, put it on.
Then we'd hand-form this machine.
Remember when you were there, when the fire truck pulled up front?
That was Rick.
Hey.
Remember, this just took over 16 people's jobs.
AI.
No.
That's what he was thinking.
It's a real machine.
AI, AI.
Around the corner from the parties.
Artificial insemination.
We're not rooting cows.
Hang on, go.
So how big is that machine?
Oh, it's a lot smaller.
Yeah, from here to the window, mate.
So 16 are going to go in the doll.
Yeah.
No, he's going to save a lot of money in wages and...
No, no.
No, no.
It's the same as...
We're for capitalism.
It's the same as the story sheds where, you know,
everything's automated.
You know, pallets now, when my pallets go to the freezer yard,
they go in and they give them a number, a QR code.
Yeah.
And you scan the QR code and it goes...
It gets put away.
You want to get it back?
You scan your QR code.
What?
Where's my freezer?
I'm going to get across the road.
I've got a freezer.
Yeah, but I can't see that taking 40 people's fucking jobs.
16.
16.
So right now, you've got eight people in the morning making cookies for eight hours.
And then in the afternoon, you've got eight people making cookies for eight hours.
And then you've got another four people doing other shit.
So forget about those four.
You know where his factory is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Green Acre.
Yeah.
And then...
Robert's right.
And then that's five days a week.
And they make 70,000 cookies.
How many is that?
70,000.
That makes three and a half thousand cookies every hour.
How many cookies do you sell?
How many humans it needs?
How many cookies do you sell, Robert?
Three humans.
100,000 a week?
100,000 a week?
Not more.
So you couldn't keep up with demand before?
Yeah, we're making them.
We had a week of stock.
We just keep rotating.
Wait, there's a machine that paints the car in the boot.
Yeah, that's right.
You've seen it?
Yeah.
We've seen it.
It's seen my last year.
It was really new.
It was good as a thing.
Tom was good for his underpants.
Tom would turn up afternoon shift.
No.
You know what happened?
Because he had his fucking spastic scooters.
Do you still carry that?
Why do you go on the scooter?
So you don't have to fucking walk?
If you go, you'll do 40,000 steps.
How many steps did we do in Hong Kong?
Oh, God.
Are we...
I'm recording.
Peter's Apple Watch put an alert out to say that they thought it was stolen
because it was doing too many steps.
Too many steps.
I did say it.
Mate, no.
I'll show you the graph.
Anyway, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening.
Is that on?
Has it been on?
It's been on.
Anyway, listen.
Can you tell when I was in Hong Kong?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Can you tell when I was in Hong Kong?
I don't know if I can tell.
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening.
Are we ready to start?
No.
We're not.
We're going to walk everywhere, and people wanted to catch the train.
The horror.
Excuse me.
We're not on.
No, he doesn't.
No, no, no.
Mate, wait.
Mate, I've got to go home.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I've got to go home.
You're still going to eat?
I'm looking forward to eating.
I'm hungry.
Me too.
Yeah, we will.
What are we going to have to talk about?
There's a dish last time that was good.
This is the meat dish with the...
The chocotori.
The chocotori.
The chocotori.
The chocotori.
The chocotori.
The chocotori.
We have to come here first.
Hold on, deal, with Bosque Allosaurus on top.
The chocotori.
Bosque Allosaurus.
That's who he does that.
He does it.
We're funky.
And the chocotori one, that's what I like.
The spicy one.
More pizza.
Anyway, we're going to be a lot.
Ross, how are you man?
What's going on?
See, that one on the...
He was part of the original time scene before it.
Thanks for the intro guys.
Yeah.
You knew where and he knew where.
It's the fire truck that's stopped up.
What fire truck?
No, I was road testing the fire truck and I've seen Tom.
He's part of the fire place.
Because they road test past your place.
Around the back there.
I've just said the fire trucks go past when there's no fire.
Question, can you get in through the site
and you gotta go right around?
Can you go through the back?
No, no, it's a cul-de-sac, isn't it?
No, it is a cul-de-sac,
but if you go through where Primo is,
where Primo used to be,
we've gotta punch a hole in that wall.
Yeah, it is.
That'll save you a lot of fuel.
The bridge over.
Yeah, the bridge on the other side.
Yeah.
I think that's supposed to use it.
Why? It's his private bridge.
Who cares?
Whose bridge?
Well, he doesn't know that bridge,
because it's where we saved a lot of time through there.
It actually says private, it's called Mainline Road.
How big's your property here, squares?
Two, just over 2,000, do you want it?
Why are you on a bike?
Nah, it's not a bad size.
How big's yours here?
2,000.
But this seems bigger than yours.
Yours is wide.
Mine is wide and not as deep.
Yours is just...
Fucking big.
So you could make that long machine making cookies.
This would be better for me.
Swap it.
Huh? I'll swap it.
I'll swap.
Actually, the other place would be better for you.
Yeah, I know.
Why? Because it's all in the front.
Spot on there.
You'll swap.
Yeah, I'll swap.
You can do it.
We have to do paperwork.
How could you do it without...
How could you do it without having to pay staff duty?
It's cheaper for you.
No, I'm just saying.
No, no, no, no.
You ready?
It's cheaper for both of you to go and change your names at Depop.
I don't know.
Hang on, hang on.
We won't all...
No.
Hello.
Is that a fucking lateral thinking lawyer?
No, it's all probably this and that.
No, no, like, I know.
What's...
What name does the property in?
I'd say the company name.
It's probably the company.
What's part of it? What else is in that company?
Nothing. It's that.
It's just that.
You buy my company, I'll buy yours.
He buys Team Ag.
No, because the company's own land,
you still pay staff duty.
I see this.
Well, how come I didn't do it?
It's Team Ag.
Remember, I brought out Team Ag.
Should I just press stop now?
Oh, fuck.
I brought Team Ag.
I was just going to say that.
Remember?
Yeah.
I brought...
I'm going to spend it on Team Ag.
Yeah, fuck it up.
I brought Team Ag, so I wouldn't pay staff...
Yeah, I know, I know.
It's just, hey, you're a friendly lawyer.
Hey, I do not say no.
Can I just say...
The pineapple cruiser, first time.
Long-time listener, first-time lawyer.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Wait, wait, wait.
You know they're from our sponsor, Mr. Lickr.
Who's Mr. Lickr?
Oh!
Good morning, good afternoon.
Good evening, and listening to the All-Tour Car Podcast.
Sponsored by Mr. Lickr.
And we are drinking vodka cruises.
That's right.
I've never had one.
I've always looked at them, seen them.
I've seen the cases in there.
There's cases in there.
And it's pineapple.
It's delicious.
It's pineapple.
I feel like I was on a holiday.
Hosted by Peter Adams.
Joining us, Mr. Roscoe Letters.
Yeah.
You guys, Mr. Tom, the raving reporter.
Tom, six is enough.
Vodka cruises.
Vodka cruises.
And back is five and Rick.
And Rick is here.
Seema Rick, five and Rick.
And the live audiences in the background.
Yay.
Every time without fail.
Yay.
I know.
Without putting the applause light on.
Yeah, we need to.
One drink, five.
I love how you said who's Mr. Lickr.
I love how you said who's Mr. Lickr.
It's not as stupid as what I asked Mr. Lickr.
Do you guys have a website?
They have a website, man.
Have a look.
Who's Mr. Lickr?
Mr. Lickr owns?
Borusch.
You have a horse shop.
Lickr shops.
I don't own a Lickr online.
From Mr. Lickr?
Yeah, that's where you should buy from Mr. Lickr.
Where he buys cigars from.
They deliver.
He's everywhere.
He buys cigars from.
Oh, there.
It's been a couple of weeks since we put on a show.
Pay no one on a cruise.
Because we...
I basically backed up the shows
because Ross and I went to Hong Kong.
Lucky you only backed up shows.
And Tom was going into country racing cars.
So we thought, but then I came back.
Back while you say that.
Last week at Eastern Creek.
Second in class, third outright.
For who?
For us.
So we're going to get to that.
But you've just done that in 38 seconds.
That's weird.
It's like your sex life.
So...
Why don't you dump a load and go?
What do you do?
Go home.
Do you feel privileged?
She's staying.
You should feel privileged.
She's staying.
Actually, you know what you should never do after sex?
Ring your wife.
Now...
So we went to Hong Kong.
We came back and I lost my voice.
And then we tried to do a show last week
and Tom was pretty busy fixing cars.
So now we're on.
We're on after a couple of weeks break.
And it's not very visual.
I'm looking at dinner.
So we've got a few things to talk about.
It was a good trip.
Thanks for talking about the trip.
Yeah, it was a good trip.
So how'd you go into Hong Kong?
I fly over to Peter Hacks for the invite.
Peter had a cracker seat on the plane.
On the way there.
On the way there.
On the way there.
The whole plane was full except for no one was sitting next to me.
I was the only one with an empty seat next to me.
Me too.
I don't mind the length.
Ross wants the length.
So Ross went business class because he needs forward.
I need width because you know I've got those...
My?
I've got shoulders like an athlete.
Like you know how I...
I did oceans for him.
I thought I was going to do oceans for him.
Or what?
Airline.
Quarters.
Quarters.
Not that I'm going to have a winch.
He knows what suits the big boat.
Not that I'm going to have a winch.
But the light-out flatbed on the quads fly.
Right?
It's six foot.
I'm six foot three.
Yeah.
So I have to curl my knees.
It's actually uncomfortable.
Get your feet to dangle off there.
There's something off here.
Yeah.
Feard your what?
It's a plot.
It's a plot.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
You're okay.
Don't...
You know how I sleep in business class?
When I...
They're half-timed and then they're timidly.
I usually don't lie down.
Because it feels like you can't sleep.
Because there's someone underneath.
No, no.
I put my...
The back part up like as if I'm on the couch.
That's how I sleep.
Well, on the flight home, I was going to do this.
On the flight home, they absolutely wrong rule.
They really fucked my flights up.
Correct?
We were meant to have a podcast with Singapore Steve.
We met up with Singapore Steve.
We'll talk about those stories.
And on Tuesday night, you said,
Oh, we're on the same flight.
And then the next morning, you said...
The next morning, I'm like that.
Bump my flight off.
And then I find out,
Singapore Steve bought a ticket on Tuesday night.
Bump me.
And bumped him.
Oh, that's sad.
Anyway, that didn't matter.
So my flight home, Sydney to Hong Kong.
So Hong Kong to Sydney is a direct flight, nine hours.
No, Ross went from Hong Kong to Singapore.
And the plane missed the connecting flight.
No, but you already knew the plane
was going to leave an hour late.
The plane was going to leave late.
So these bags would connect.
So they're having a...
They're having the poor lady people at Cathay Pacific
because it was a Qantas flight.
You know, I was flying at Cathay Pacific.
Now we're having a conniption going,
I can't do this.
How's your bag connected and all that?
So I ended up giving Pete...
So I took Ross's bag.
And Steve the bag.
And the lady behind the counter goes,
are you sure you want to take the bag?
What they didn't realize was...
Did you tell him?
Why would you tell him?
What?
Did you tell him?
No, I said...
No, because I don't already check my bag in there.
Give it back to me.
So we talked to Ross's bag,
but he bought six cigars.
Six?
Oh, that's what you told us.
Well, how many were in there?
Six boxes.
Now you know what the lady asked for, are you sure?
Now you know.
He was 40 cigars in there.
He declared six.
Fuck, okay.
40.
So they were in Ross's name,
Steve's, the Singapore Steve's name,
because he was going business in Amsterdam economy.
And still...
No one pitched in for Pete's ticket.
Because they know the beds aren't designed for me.
I don't need the length, I need the width.
If you're broad shoulders, apparently.
Because I'm an ocean swimmer.
So, agree.
So basically what happened was
Steve was wired and landed in Sydney
and part of his visa for Hong Kong,
if he doesn't declare things or he gets in trouble,
he loses his...
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Is Steve your father?
Yeah, Steve, of course, Steve.
So he declared six cigars.
Not bad, I grew that together.
He declared six cigars.
He didn't realize it was 40.
Actually, it was probably more than 40.
And the guy goes, how many of you guys go six?
He goes, or the person who goes,
yeah, it's for me, he goes, just walk through, buddy.
So, we got through.
So he gives us his car keys.
So we got into Sydney two hours before Ross.
He goes, here's my car keys.
Put the bag in my car.
You know where my car was parked.
I wanted to park his car up against the wall
so he couldn't open his door.
But the problem is, you parked at the same spot.
It used to be a disabled spot,
but they haven't put the stickers in.
So you got your own...
It wasn't disabled spot, I just got rid of the stickers.
No, there's no...
Because I was above you, exactly above you,
same spot, because I needed the width.
And then what happened was...
I think I've never seen Pete.
We still took his car and then parked it nose in.
So when he got there, he was like, what do you think?
No, but on the flight home, so they ended up missing my flight.
They ended up putting me on a Singaporean flight.
I said, the only seat we've got is in first class.
Is that okay?
No problem.
So I had to double-vend to myself.
So you went first class?
First on my hand.
Did your feet dangle off the end of that?
There was no dangling, because I had a seat and a bed.
So what did you use?
I could have invited three other people.
You could have come with me first class,
you're allowed to.
Yeah.
Are you allowed to invite people in first class?
So I was walking down the plane trying to find people.
You could have your own steward.
They'll do whatever you want.
They'll make your own meal.
They'll make your own meal.
Serious steak food.
Hang on, wait.
They can get new beer.
I'll show you a video later.
So if you've got first class...
Think you could have been first class?
No.
Oh, okay.
Wait, wait.
Yeah.
So if I go first class, I can invite two people.
No.
Yeah, because you've got a bed.
And they've got to pay the ticket.
No, they've got to come in.
No.
They've got to be on the plane.
They've got to be on the plane, though.
They can't just come over for an hour.
No, it's not an apartment.
You can't try to use a make-up, you know.
It's if it's an apartment.
It is.
Yeah, but it's a bed in a seat.
It's a double bed in a seat.
And you've got a shower, too.
A full shower.
Could you stand up in the shower?
Would it fit you?
Because you're everybody for each other.
Tell me, man.
There's enough room in that bathroom.
So really?
You could pull five people in the shower.
If you buy one first class ticket...
Yeah.
And everyone else goes a premium.
Yeah.
They would just come up the first class, hang out.
No.
You don't want to hang out with your wife.
Why would you want them to come out?
You don't want to hang out with your wife.
You bought premium?
You make the other people in first class.
There's only two seats.
Oh, sorry.
That screen.
You know how strong that little screen is?
That keeps the riffraff out.
It's actually not upstairs.
You're the riffraff buff.
I'm not the riffraff.
I'm in economy.
Row 70.
Oh, no, I'm not going to say the seat.
Which one do I want to say it?
This one's in the bathroom.
Anyway, so we get to Hong Kong.
Yeah, we get to Hong Kong.
Seat in your shower?
That's Hong Kong.
Why don't we find a Vegas first class?
You can.
You can.
You can.
It's like $37,000 for a ticket.
That's the problem.
We're not a gamble about money.
If we win it, then we can save the money for next year.
Ah, anyway.
So I wanted to catch an Uber.
Pete didn't want to catch a freaking Uber.
You know, we caught the train.
No, we caught the train.
Because all about the experience, it's not that bad.
Well, do you want to hear this?
You can get an Octopus card over there.
And that Octopus card, you can buy any you want.
So the Octopus card is like currency.
So you buy the Octopus card, or you download the app.
And you can go to 7-Eleven by a drink
with the money on the Octopus card.
I don't understand what you're saying.
What is it, a lot of currency?
You know how we got the Opal card?
Yeah.
They got Opals.
This is a card podcast.
No one gives you shit about Opal cards.
Yeah.
All right, so.
Really?
OK, but we did get an Uber from the bar.
We caught him wicking Uber.
This guy was going to kill us.
There's a Model S.
Tesla Model S pulls up.
I'm not even in the car yet.
The door's open.
The guy takes off.
He's killed me.
I got ticket.
He goes, oh, he almost killed me.
He nearly lost it.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, sorry.
Sorry, is my door OK?
Oh, your door's OK.
But Peter might need a transplant of legs.
But it was pretty bad.
But there's not many.
There's a lot of cars, but there's no parking.
No one.
Everyone catches the metro.
It's like 95 cents a mile.
And everything is underground.
Everything's underground.
We spent a whole day underground.
We left the airport on the train, onto a metro,
and into our hotel foyer.
All underground.
We didn't even go inside.
Because all the shopping centers are connected.
It's just amazing.
To the next day, we had to go to a food show.
We had to go to a trade show that I was going to.
And we get to the trade show.
I'm like, it's pretty quiet out here.
It's boring.
It's dead.
Dead.
Thai food.
Where?
They got it.
It was a Thai food.
There's a Thai food warning.
But there was no wind.
It was raining.
Is it underground?
Yeah, we know that.
It was Thai food.
Because everything was closed.
Uncertainly, lemons were open.
The shops were shut.
We get to the food show.
But no, we could have used our octopus cards.
To get a drink.
That's right.
So we get there.
Because it's category T1.
It's like a public holiday.
Everyone stays home.
Even though the typhoon has gone past.
Because we worry about landslides.
And people dying of the way to work.
But is it underground?
Yeah, I know.
So when we got out, it was just like raining.
And then we had to wait two hours.
So we went back to the street.
And we were cruising the streets.
People were like, oh my God.
Oh my God, man.
Yeah, we were like, super heroine.
What about that place we found?
The card shop we found.
So there's a place called Auto Salon?
No, it wasn't Auto Image or Auto.
There's a place.
This place was like, you walked in.
It's underground car park, like second level.
Everything's underground.
And it's like 80, 100 luxury cars.
But every dealer's got five, six spots for the desk.
Oh, it's just a car park.
So it's not, you're in a car park.
But there's like six.
It's like you're on Westfield Bondi Junction.
It's like six dealers.
On one floor.
And all the dealers are there.
And they've all got their cars.
So you've got eight cars with your desk in the middle.
They had a bus.
Then Rick's with eight cars with his desk in the middle.
What cars are you selling, right?
Fire trucks.
He just sells fire trucks.
Fire trucks.
But he's got to take you upstairs
in the elevator to show you.
I took a photo of the sign.
You sure it wasn't called Auto Seller?
Auto Mall.
The Auto Mall.
Look it up, kids.
It was crazy.
And Hong Kong dollars five to one.
So it looks expensive.
That's it.
Yeah, the Auto Mall.
That's it.
There's some cheap Porsches there.
A lot of Bentley's.
I love their Bentley's.
They love.
It's all underground.
Yeah.
So it's, you're like walking through a car park.
But it's a dealership.
So it's a semi car park, right?
Well, yeah, it could have been.
Or scrap their pieces of selling sunscreen.
Yeah, who's selling sunscreen?
Well, they don't know that they're obviously
because everything's underground.
Yeah, you don't need it.
So we went there.
Then we saw, so there's not many,
there's cars on the street,
but there's no parking.
We saw a Ferrari 488 speciale.
I don't know what it was.
You reckon it was a wide body, freaking me.
It was pretty special.
But it was yellow with SpongeBob stickers all over it.
And I put that, I posted that.
The food's amazing.
We went to that.
We went to an all-you-can-eat sushi joint.
But it was like, you had Tom or Tom.
Did I share that though?
The lobster?
Lobster, caviar, literally.
Unlimited alcohol.
I don't know how to make you go for it.
There's five fridges you can...
How long did you just go for?
What do you mean, how long?
How long did you just go?
That was a dinner.
No, but how long did you just go for?
Two and a half days.
Why don't you take me?
Okay.
Tomorrow.
You want to eat your free?
Yeah.
You want to go back to Hong Kong?
Let's go.
It was literally organized for two days.
Can you go and pick up the boat
and bring it back for me?
No, I don't like boats.
Caviar?
How am I going to carry it under me?
Oh, no, no, you'll declare it.
You'll declare it.
He'll give me my cigars back for me.
Yeah.
So I'm cruising through it.
These guys are good on my cigars.
I went to buy some cigars in Hong Kong
because I want to buy some more.
And they're like...
And his wife's bang.
Yeah, we've got everything.
I've had everything.
All the shopping.
Have you bought more than 900 bucks?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No worries, tick, tick, tick.
That would have been stitched.
And I didn't tell Steve how much the bag costs.
No, don't tell him.
No.
He just ticked the cigars.
It was one of those cigars.
So I went, I'll buy some more cigars.
I went to buy these cigars.
And the lady goes, oh, passport.
She goes, oh, you can't take more than one cigar
back to Australia.
I can't sell these to you.
I go, just sell them to me.
She goes, no, I can't sell them to you.
So she wouldn't sell them to me.
I get to Singapore.
Why do you want to see your passport?
Because it's duty-free.
Duty-free.
Oh, OK.
I get to Singapore.
I'd like to buy these cigars.
How many do you want?
I said, oh, just four.
She goes, it's cheaper if you buy eight.
OK, I'll take eight.
She gave me 20.
So I bought 20.
I've got a lot of cigars at home now.
As I'm coming through, I took one out of the packet,
put it in my backpack, my bag, declared my cigars.
He goes, what have you got?
Cigars?
I said, I've got these three.
He goes, why is there one missing?
I said, oh, I spoke to you.
Oh, God, it's just their personal use.
He goes, definitely.
Yeah, they didn't care.
I thought I was going to get at least,
because I thought they were going to get stitched.
They were going to get done.
But we went to the food fair.
So they were the purpose.
For those who don't know, Ross makes cookies.
So I went to the food fair.
Yes, we've seen his new machine.
Yeah, the new machine.
What a machine.
What are we going to call it?
Great rack.
What are we going to call it?
The machine.
Well, I want you to call it 16,
because that's the number of people it replaces.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
16.
16.
What are we going to call it?
16.
16.
That's it, man.
So we went to the food fair.
If I call it 21, you know,
there's more to redundancy.
It's run by the government,
you said, so they do conventions
and you get down like the idea.
I was vaccinated by the coffee.
Yeah, so you get level five,
level three, level one,
but I don't know if there's two and four,
because it seems like...
Two and four was a makeup show.
We didn't go there.
Okay, we didn't go there.
Why not?
I thought it was, you know, being...
Pete, did you spend two nights in a gay bar?
We were there for three nights.
Pete, did you spend two nights in a gay bar?
I didn't want to see you there,
all friends.
I'm retired from modeling.
You know, I just sort of...
Pete, did you spend two days in a gay bar?
Two nights in a gay bar.
You turned into a gay bar.
That's why you're letting the hair grow now.
And you have another long hair and...
Yeah, start to look like my dad.
Yes.
So level five is like,
you need tickets.
There's more professional VIP,
Ross is there.
For food.
Wheeling and dealing for the food fair.
So we're like sussing out the bacon chips.
Did we have those tickets?
Sorry?
Yeah, we...
Yeah, I was in there.
I was...
We meet this lady who makes everything out of bacon.
Bacon from Malaysia.
Bacon chips, bacon cookie.
Bacon jam.
Jam, jam, jam.
Yeah, we're eating it.
Tom, you would have liked me.
Tom would have loved it.
Why would I take you jam?
Yeah, we two...
I brought some home.
I've got some.
I've got some.
So Ross goes,
who are you?
I'm the stomach of your business
and Ross is the brains.
So I have to put him down as something, right?
So I have to eat all the food and try the food.
Sof serve.
We're eating it.
We had everything.
The tea.
Matcha.
Matcha, matcha.
So actually you had food on tap.
On tap.
Yeah.
As much coffee as you wanted.
The coffee.
So they got the liquid...
What's that liquid coffee work?
Because it's your...
You don't know?
No, she never remembers.
She never remembers.
So how big was the food chain?
She never responded.
Oh, did she respond?
No.
Just for the shit.
So the bacon, they can't bring it to Australia.
So they're looking for someone to manufacture the bacon cookies.
So here comes Ross.
Why can't they bring him?
You can't bring the pork in.
Because you can't have mad cow disease.
Mad pork disease.
Mad pork disease?
No, you can't bring the pork in.
I don't think you can import pork.
It has to be Australian pork.
Really?
But these pork crisps...
So I'm looking...
Oh, chips.
Yeah, but they want to put it in bars for cocktails and stuff.
So I'm sussing the people out.
I like to look at, like, body language.
And I'm just looking at all the food.
And he's asking all the food questions and the money questions.
And I'm, like, trying to nudge him and kick him.
And we walked away and go,
Do you see a watch?
Oh, yeah.
Because she had a Rolex.
Oh, it's got this Rolex.
You guys, it's a $60,000 watch.
So we looked her up.
She looked at her bacon.
She had, like, 400,000 followers.
She was big in marketing.
She must have been in the rocks.
She was the second girl in Malaysia.
She was...
So the kind of person I would have been harassing the fuck out of.
You?
Yeah.
You would have been eating the bacon.
You would have been eating the bacon.
Yeah, you would have been eating the food.
But it was a good show.
The amount of coffee over there, though,
coming out of China is crazy.
The amount of products coming out of China,
that's good quality, is quite surprising.
And certain countries have certain halls.
So Korea had, like, eight halls.
Thailand was a big one with the dried fruit.
Then we go to level three.
Turkey had one, just three guys.
So level three is half invite and then half public.
Oh my God, it was like Patty's markets.
No, no, that's level one.
We got there.
So level three, we saw it.
They got a lot of alcohol there.
And mollies.
Everything was fake, like...
It was mollies, orange cream.
The same lettering and colors as Baileys.
Baileys are just coffee.
They call it mollies.
It's cream everything.
Why?
Do I get invited?
Anyway.
We do want to go to the next one?
Yeah.
In two weeks, do you want to go to Queensland
in one of these shows?
No, Queensland sucks.
No, we get...
We get to level one.
And level one is like Patty's markets.
All the public's there.
Tom, I think we should branch out.
We should do the all talk.
We should do the all talk food podcast.
We've been talking about that.
We fucking love it.
Told ya.
Yeah.
Yeah, we get to level one.
It's going to be called Tolly's.
It's going to be a YouTube channel.
And it's like all the food you see on Border Patrol.
Like all the shit they pack in their bags
is like all the food on a stick.
Weird stuff, yeah.
They're selling the bag.
They're about the bag.
They're selling a suitcase.
A suitcase of noodles.
A suitcase of noodles.
With noodles in it.
Full suitcase.
A carry on.
Full suitcase.
You just buy the bag and just take it with you.
Yeah, with noodles.
Full of noodles.
Full stack, bring it in again.
Yeah, yeah, buy the bag.
Full of noodles.
Yeah, yeah.
Fucking...
Like just...
I said, Russ, we're going to get out of here.
We couldn't get out, are they?
It was like following the people.
Was that downstairs?
Yeah, downstairs.
It was like...
Man, I feel like Border Patrol.
Like just watching all this food getting caught.
Dead sir.
Yeah.
It was like a market.
You could buy all the food.
Man.
Yeah.
When's the next one?
I'll tell you what was fascinating.
So in the...
Sorry.
In the store, there was...
In the grocery store, there was Australian milk.
Oh yeah, that's selling A2 milk.
So I started quizzing them on the milk.
I go, how do you get the milk here?
Like, do you bring it out?
No, no, no.
We have Australian cows here.
We milk Australian cows here in Kowloon.
They've got Australian cows.
Oh, that's fucking shit, that is.
Yeah, but that, the cows are...
No, mate.
No, no, no.
No, I don't mean this.
I mean the cows, that's bullshit.
Look, Australian milk.
That's not Australian.
That's a cow, that's a Chinese cow, Kowloon dairy.
And it's not from Macau, it's from Australia.
That's bullshit.
Look how much the avocado is.
The cow's breathing.
Yeah, but it's 5 to 1.
Australian avocado.
It's still $11.
It's still $11.
There's the bacon, look.
I can ask you a question.
Yeah.
The cows...
Why weren't you invited?
I don't know.
I don't know.
No, the cow's over there.
I told him he said don't bring...
The milk isn't Australian.
It is, it is.
It's an Australian cow.
It says A2, it's made in Australia.
No.
Oh, the baby powder was A2 when we walked past that.
Yeah, but the cows, you know, the cows in...
The Australian cows, they work in Hong Kong.
Like, it's my brother's.
They're like expats.
So they've got a visa.
Yeah, they have to.
They're not allowed to go.
I'm allowed a crap, that is.
Isn't it interesting?
That's bullshit.
That's what they can actually market.
That's my way of getting around it.
Huh?
That's my way of getting around it.
No, that's bullshit.
That's not Australian milk.
It is, from Australian cows.
Because the cow.
Yeah, it's Australian cow.
It's like going to a Chinese restaurant,
Australian eating authentic Chinese,
because the chef is from China.
You say that's Australian food or Chinese food?
It's Chinese food.
But it's eating, it's...
I can't...
Just blow his brain up.
No, you can't blow it.
I just can't.
We've just ruined Tom.
You can't.
I just can't.
Guys, Tom's gonna malfunction.
He doesn't know.
He doesn't know.
Tom has blown a fuse.
He's called the IT guys.
He's malfunctioning.
Well, Tom had a surprise today.
Tom has blown a fuse.
Yes, yes, apparently.
So, a couple of weeks ago...
Can we stop?
Before we even start, you need to explain to me.
Okay.
I know who he is, because he's got a podcast.
He's got a podcast like ours.
What TV show does he have?
Okay, wait.
Okay, so listen.
I'm hooked on watching Fear Factor at the moment.
Okay, what's Fear Factor?
It's an early...
It's...
They do stunts for money.
It's like a stunt show.
Public...
The contestants are stunts.
Like it's a knockout.
Yeah, but they do stunts.
But they do stunts that this day and age,
there's no way in the world,
public money or whatever would allow.
Yeah, it's real.
I told you, is it?
Yeah.
Like they blow up?
I thought they were rebuilding it.
No, no.
No, they blow up things.
They jump out of buildings.
They do...
They eat spiders, cockroaches.
They did the most foulest things.
So...
As long as they stick their head in like a glass thing
and put tarantulas on their head, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or you'll never be able to do that.
So, Tom wants to reach out to Joe.
We sent an email...
The podcast guy.
Joe, what's he going to do with...
He's the host.
Because he's the host.
That was his gig before public casting.
Right, and all that I want to know is,
did he shag any of the contestants?
He wanted to know if he shagged a contestant.
Why would you want to know that?
Because some of them are beasts.
Did you email it?
Which is a positive.
Yes.
So we emailed him.
You did.
Yes.
Why?
Because Tom wants to meet.
And that invasion of privacy.
No, I went through his idea...
Why is...
Well, I'm not going to ask him how many...
Through the agency.
I just want to know if he shagged any of them.
Did you ask if he emailed?
I emailed Michael at Moby.nyc, which is his...
Is he going to email?
Yeah, because Tom doesn't believe I sent the email.
Because Tom, fast forward...
Can I ask you a question?
I'm on one of these fucking podcasts.
When did I miss this whole segment?
You're overseas.
I've missed a few things.
I've never been overseas.
You overseas the food fair.
You miss heaps.
Yeah, you're overseas.
Wait, wait.
You're overseas.
You've got to do where I've missed out on.
Tom, you can come to the next one.
Good.
There's one in Vegas called the IBA.
It's all about Vegas.
So Tom doesn't know.
You've got a text today from Joe Rogage.
But Tom, I printed off the email.
I printed off the email.
I'm going to read it.
OK, yes, please.
D. Michael.
Michael's the agent for Joe Rogage.
I co-host an Australian podcast, all-talker podcast,
and we recently discussed Fee Factor,
a television show hosted by Mr. Joe Rogage.
Tom, one of my co-hosts is obsessed with the show
and wanted me to reach out to see
if we can provide a list of questions
or a short interview if we are lucky enough
for Mr. Rogage about his time hosting Fee Factor.
Are you able to assist us in his request?
Please send Tom a text on plus six one, blah, blah, blah.
OK?
There's the number.
Yeah.
That's the email I sent.
What did you get today?
I want to know if he's shaking anyone.
That's all I want to know.
I didn't print the email to his agent.
What did you get today?
Hi, Tim.
Attention to detail, Joe Rogage.
It's Joe Rogan here.
I'm sorry it's taken so long to get back to you,
but I've taken a while to get an Australian number.
You're also probably wondering
why I waited for an Australian Fee number.
Joe Rogan.
Yeah, Joe Rogan.
Great news, which can't disclose, but...
He told you and we're telling you.
700 people.
Yeah.
Well, it's only 300 people.
But we'll be bringing Fee Factor to Australia
and I'd love you to be involved.
Is this something interesting?
Are you having trouble reading it?
No, he's probably...
Send me a text.
It's probably the way you wrote it.
Send me a text.
Unfortunately, for some reason,
I'm not taking voice calls at the moment.
Yes, a text.
I'm extremely busy, but I'd love to chat.
So we're going to send a text?
Yeah.
We're going to tell them we're going to go to Seymour.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe he's in LA the day we're in LA.
Oh, I talked to him.
So, what should we write?
Let's see.
I reckon you're lying.
I reckon you just have to set me up.
Should we say hi, John?
40 minutes ago and just take the kid?
Shall we?
This is my brother-in-law, Faberina.
Faberina the most beautiful man in the world.
Fabio the most beautiful man in the world.
He knows me.
Yeah.
You know it's a podcast, right?
It's a podcast.
stores can see us.
Sorry.
Public well, sir.
Yeah.
It's a...
He's the second most beautiful man in the world.
You didn't have to call me the most beautiful,
but thank you.
Yeah.
I reckon Joe Rogan answered me back.
Really? No.
You got a text? Look, I've sent the email.
Can you fucking authenticate that fuck?
Look at the email. It's full of shit that's lying with me.
They're probably chopped in paste and stuff.
No, no. I sent it to his agent.
And I put... Tom got a text. I put Tom's number.
Holy fucking Tim!
And he put Tim because that's Tom.
That's how they say Tom in America.
Oh, I need his face ID turned off.
I've got Tom's phone.
Oh, don't cancel it. I'm do typing.
Hi, Joe.
What a surprise. I did not think you would reply.
I am on it.
You sound like a three-year-old kid.
I am on it.
Hi, I'm on it. You...
Fuck that.
And we'll be...
Hey, did you fuck anyone?
No, no.
Thank you.
Just fuck that. Let me write it.
We'll be...
No, no, no.
It's full shit.
We'll be in Vegas.
We'll be in LA.
Fuck that.
Can I ask your personal question?
No, that's gay.
No, that's fucking delete that.
Yeah, I love Tim.
That's Tom.
Yeah.
No, put Tom.
What did you call him?
What did you call him?
John.
No, put Joe.
So don't send that message.
No, that's shit.
Is that soft?
Hey, it's Tom here, not Tim arsehole.
Read your fucking emails properly.
Yeah.
Now, did you fuck any of them on the show or not?
Is that what you were writing?
Especially that cutie in episode six.
She never said six.
Yeah, beast.
He even does the episode.
I don't even know what season.
I don't know.
That's what I'm trying to figure out, but I couldn't.
Do you reckon he fucked one?
Huh?
Yeah, I reckon he did.
I don't think he did you.
What's the American word?
Four to fuck.
Well, thank you.
No, not fucking it.
Oh.
Ravage.
Did you ravage?
Would you have laid with any of them?
Did you lay?
No, I don't ask you that now.
Just leave it the way you had it.
Oh, I'm changing it now.
No.
Give it to me.
I'll write it.
You want to put the...
Just leave it.
I have a question.
How big is your...
Sorry.
All right.
You want to put the let's meet up?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
All right.
Okay.
We'll try later now.
Someone else wants to get laid.
Love Tom.
Love Tom.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Love Tom.
I've sent it.
I've sent it.
I've got balls across the way.
When did you get the text?
Just now.
Let's see what time it is in New York.
Just now.
Probably in Australia.
If I stole a shit, man.
You've done this.
Did you get the text?
Oh, it's...
It's two in the morning in LA.
So five in the morning in New York.
I sent it.
He must be off his head.
He might not be in Australia.
He might not be in LA.
Well, I've sent it.
Throw it in.
I'll tell you what time it is.
Let's see if we get a reply.
He's full of shit.
So what a surprise.
Joe Rogan texting Tim.
Tom.
Tom.
Tim, I told you.
Mate, he just came through now.
He's full of shit.
What do you mean?
No, I just sent it now.
No, but he just sent it in the area.
I reckon he's in Australia.
So he would have been a midnight.
He could be in Australia.
He could.
But now I've been here for an hour and a half.
We've been at midnight.
Anyway.
Could be drunk.
Can we talk about cars?
We should fucking talk about Joe Rogan.
So there you go.
That's Hong Kong.
That's Joe Rogan with Tim.
With Tim.
Topic, cars.
It's a car podcast, isn't it?
We've been talking about cars once.
Yes, we have.
It's a fire truck.
Can we set the fucking fire truck in the Spongebob for a while?
Peter can't use chopsticks if anyone wants to know.
I can't.
No.
I've got the baby chopsticks.
I've got the father's day.
Mate, Peter stabbed the fucking dim semen of a flying customer.
And it hit you, mate.
It's Stanley in the tin.
It's Stanley.
Now, Stanley's a nice bloke.
And they listen.
Top bloke.
But the food flew across the Stanley's white shirt.
And while Stanley was briefly telling us whether we've sold anything at auctions,
because he just sold a Monet for 3.5 and he just broke even.
He's a good guy.
Monet's not a car tom.
It's that.
It's a painting.
Yeah.
What's that got to with cars?
That doesn't mean with the chopsticks.
I know how to drive manual.
I was going to go out on that road.
Anyway, let's talk about cars.
You can't the fleet.
They've got to live in outside your office.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That piece of shit.
Maloo, Maloo.
Maloo, yeah.
What a heap of shit.
I can't eat shit.
But there's only so many of them painted that screen.
Was it 25?
Why would you fucking want to drive a car painted that screen?
I thought there was only 14.
14.
I get inside.
I've got three pedals.
Seven of another type.
I've got three pedals.
It's manual.
It's manual, yes.
It's got the 80s car phone.
It's a pretty sick car phone.
HSV.
With the receiver and everything.
Yeah, the 80s.
Yeah, the one that came in the director in the 80s.
I need to see that.
But the seats...
You've never seen a phone like that.
The audience wasn't bored.
The seats...
I'm just going to...
Now I'm just going to make it all look original.
The seats, the trim.
I've got to reach around that.
We've got access.
We can probably use the SV89 as a donor.
No.
No?
Just sold...
SV89.
When I was in school...
When I was in school, a man of mine had...
He got given.
Everyone else was getting like 9-11's and S-classes.
It was an interesting school.
And he got given...
He wanted an SV90 statesman.
The statesman, the red one.
It was in Morone.
Oh, my God, this thing.
He was just unbelievable.
You can have many people get you fitted that.
A lot.
Heaps in the boot, too.
More than the Porsche.
Oh, yeah.
More than the Porsche.
Not the S-class.
No, the S-class was good.
I like an S-AMG.
Oh, I've got an E-AMG here.
E-63.
Is that what I'm taking home?
Is that the Costa Car Rosses taking it?
Is that what I'm taking?
No, your car's finished.
It's finished.
They just finished it, really.
Yeah, they're working back.
Can you hear...
Tom's got my son's car here,
and he reckons he's going to take only four days to fix it.
Four days?
Four days before I look at it.
That's not bad for almost a ridden-off car.
Your son can't drive a ship.
Four days before I look at it.
Someone in here.
Chipper.
Chipper.
He's driving the Maserati now.
He's actually happy about it.
Oh, the one that's sitting on its ass.
No, it's fixed.
I feel like it's going to be like four months off the road.
What was four months off the road?
Oh, what was four?
Is that a quick...
My wife.
So I lost the key.
They got the Chinese airbags for it.
So I lost the key to that lone car.
Do you hear that?
Do you hear that?
Delvia, no.
Oh!
So it was a rainy morning.
Everyone was overseas.
So I put the key on the roof of the car.
Oh.
And I drove...
And I ended up at Dramoyne from Hunters Hill.
Yeah.
But I didn't know where the key fell off the roof.
Because when I stopped the car, it said keep it detected.
The proximity light cable.
Yeah.
We should just drive back until it's unfound.
Yeah, wait for it.
It's okay.
Good call.
I didn't do that.
So I decided to drive home so I couldn't find the key.
And I walked in the rain from Hunters Hill to Dramoyne over the Gladesville Bridge.
Where'd you find the key?
I did.
You did it in the morning.
I was saturated.
I had the shit with the world.
But there's a long walk to...
Yeah, on the bridge.
Right?
On the bridge.
So I did the bridge on the actual walkway.
Like for human...
Like pedestrian traffic.
In the afternoon the sun came out.
I'm going to walk on the bridge.
Six lanes.
What a fuck.
Yeah.
So I'm on the phone.
Like a homeless person.
I'm on the phone talking to someone.
And I'm about to start walking onto the on-ramp of the bridge.
And I'm standing at the lights.
And I'm talking to our GM at work.
He's like, what are you doing?
I said, I'm about to walk on the bridge.
I've got to find this key.
So if anyone knows me.
I'm going to lose something.
I can't not stop looking for it.
I have to find it.
It's just...
I won't sleep.
So I'm like, no, I've got to find this key.
She goes, you cannot walk on that bridge.
Are you going to hit it by a car?
Is that what happened when you lost your virginity?
I'm still trying to find it.
I'm lost yet.
As I'm on the phone, a truck rips around the corner and clips like what I thought
was a rock.
It was the key.
The key ends up on my feet.
You were joking.
Not kidding you.
And it was...
Oh.
And the key...
I'll show you the photo of the key later.
It was destroyed.
All right?
So I called the guy from Maserati and they listened.
I've lost the key.
He goes, what happened?
I said, well, I found it.
It's destroyed.
And he goes, no problems.
It's like $4,000 for a new key.
What the fuck?
Tomorrow.
Okay.
Are you serious?
I said, don't have a $2,500 excess.
And he goes, yes.
So I said, just put it through.
He goes, I don't normally pull keys through insurance.
I said, well, on my insurance policy, I've got keys.
So you should...
It's not my fault.
My car's with you.
If I'd lost my key, I would have put it through just...
So we agreed that we're only going to pay the $2,500 excess.
Anyway, that...
A week later, I'm driving the car.
And have you ever driven a Gokali?
It took the buttons on the thing for the gear stick.
So it's a push button, right?
So it's a night rider.
It's got the...
Like a Civic.
Like a...
What are they called?
Aston Martin's got the...
No, Aston Martin's buttons.
Citroens or whatever they are.
Oh, shit.
So I hit the thing for reverse.
I didn't realise it was in reverse, but I was still in drive.
I hit the accelerator, bang.
I'll go straight into the wall.
No way.
Oh my God, but...
Don't I have it, will I still?
Okay, don't worry.
I'm going to be at my car.
It's going to hit someone else's.
Okay, didn't stop.
Okay, don't worry.
I've already paid the $2,500.
I'm basically...
I'm on free excess now.
Has it already paid the $2,500?
No, it's per excellent.
It's per excellent.
No problem.
Sorry, the more it means coming out.
It's per...
It's per...
Then my wife's driving the car.
She gets back from overseas.
She's driving the tunnel.
This is a brand new car.
The Gokali.
The Gokali.
She goes, Dad, someone drove into mum.
And I'm like, what do you mean?
She goes, well, we're driving together.
And then the girl's on the phone.
And she just drove into the side of us.
And I went, did you get a number plate?
No, I wouldn't even get a number plate.
She took off too quickly.
I said, are you kidding me?
What?
So I'm sitting there thinking right at three incidents on this car.
I'm going to drop it back to Maserati.
And they're going to absolutely smash me.
This is the side of the car, the front of the car.
And one key.
So I've got the spare key.
I drop the car back.
And he sends me an email going, look, there's three incidents.
It's going to be seven and a half hours.
And I said, no.
I said, I'll put your, I didn't.
I said, I'll put your contract through a chat GPT.
And he said it was, he didn't say,
he didn't specify per incident.
Because if you ranked me, I would have told you, right?
He goes, you're right.
He goes, yeah, you're right.
Thanks.
Let's pay the two and a half grand.
That's it.
You didn't even check.
You fucking asked that one.
You didn't even check.
I didn't even check.
I didn't even check.
I didn't even check.
I didn't even check.
I didn't even check.
I didn't even check.
The excess on that car is two and a half grand, right?
Is it?
No.
I'm just saying, right?
Two and a half grand.
You have half a dozen accidents, but you told me the excess.
Correct.
Just like, oh, hang on.
The excess.
The excess on that car out there is a thousand something dollars per accident.
Per incident.
Yeah.
It doesn't say that.
Well, I had an English cover.
The excess was 10,000.
And I had that money saved for a couple of months.
And then he rang me for it.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
You know where.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes it's hit and miss with that insurance.
Oh, that's chevy.
Excess on that wave.
10,000 dollars excess.
You did not.
Yeah.
Why would you do that?
You don't fuck with something wrong with you.
Huh?
Well, that was like that all the time.
I went to, I was in Abu Dhabi when I used to be able to ride, like wear a helmet and
race.
I was in Abu Dhabi and every time I was in Abu Dhabi, I'd do the track dancing.
You know, there was this Irish guy and he was such a cocky prick.
And we're out in, we could go in a Ferrari.
Basically, you'd go and chop and change cars.
And he jumped in a, let's call it a 488, full spec race car.
I jumped in the AMG GT because it was anything I would fit in with a helmet.
So I'm wrapping around the track.
Before.
Before.
Just like big shoulders.
Big shoulders.
No, no, yeah.
That's, and he goes, the guy, the lady goes, oh, look, it's an option.
It's something like, it was like 700 Aussie dollars.
So I think it was like 500 US dollars for the insurance, but the insurance covered you
for everything.
People, walls, cars, fucking everything.
It was like all inclusive insurance.
I said the lady, I said, I take the insurance every time.
It was not worth the risk.
No insurances.
You are 100% liable for everything.
You hang your passports in.
He turns around and he goes, I'm a fucking great driver.
I've been driving fucking cars.
He took no insurance.
Took no insurance.
First corner.
Have you, you know the Abu Dhabi track?
End of the straight.
Yes.
He's almost like a fucking.
Yeah.
Yes.
Marina.
End of the straight.
This is a freaking left-hand turn.
Right.
I'm behind him.
And the guy in front is like, he just grabs me and he goes, fuck.
I go, what happened?
He goes, look.
Boom.
Straight into the wall.
This guy.
Or blend the car.
Fucking ambulance the whole lot.
He comes out and I go, I'll beat you.
You know, you're lucky you didn't take that.
He said, fuck you, man.
He didn't take the insurance.
No, you would.
You're a crack.
Yeah, cut my thing short though.
You're lucky.
All right, let's close the track.
Shit.
Yeah, but heaves, that's the thing with people that don't take the excess to run the corner.
Yeah.
Why don't you run the corner?
No, but people do.
When I rent a car, if the car's $80 a day and the excess, it's $200 to bring it
down to zero.
I can't.
Zero excess.
Zero worries.
So do I.
Yeah, me too.
When I rent a car, I always get zero excess, mate, all the time.
Mate, my father told me.
Is this got zero excess?
No.
What's this got?
Wait, my father always told me.
It's got a missing key.
No matter how bad things are.
Right?
Always make sure you're covered.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like with Red Joe's and shit, you don't drive a car.
You just don't drive it.
Always because if anything happens, you just get more in that fucking hole.
You get in a worse situation.
I'm a bit of a like, I don't mind paying for that kind of stuff.
Yeah, insurance.
I'm a big fan of that.
The only thing I like is warranty.
But the insurance.
But sometimes you don't get it off.
When I was in Thailand when I smashed the jet skis and all that.
You're in Thailand to me.
Yeah, but you don't ride a jet ski in Thailand.
Actually, if you got a trip advisor, it says do not drive a jet ski.
No, that Tom does.
I do.
They're four-wheelers.
With 15-year-olds.
Me and my son try and kill each other.
15-year-old jet skis?
Yes, son.
15-year-old.
I rang you because you pissed me off.
I'll put a hole in the side for you later.
Allegedly.
Allegedly, that's right.
That's right.
Thank you.
You could have fixed it before you took it back, Tom.
You got skills.
Tom's like, where's that guy going?
He's called the boys over.
He's ringing Chantel.
Oh, come out grand.
That cost me.
He's ringing Chantel.
That's the VIN number.
Quick, look up, boss.
With that jet ski.
He's my cameraman.
Yeah, he's ready to do it now.
We're going to cut the podcast short because your car's ready.
Yeah.
Is it on the street or inside?
We're going now.
Jesus Christ.
Papa took it out.
Radis, review us.
Radis, review us.
Five stars, send us your questions.
Joe Rogan reached out.
Yeah, that's crazy.
So if Joe Rogan can reach out to our little podcast, so can you.
All talk it out, look.com.au.
I want to Google where Joe Rogan is.
Joe, I'll see you soon.
He's excited.
Tom's going to be standing there outside the window.
He's legit.
I don't know if it's legit.
Fuck, man.
That's legit, mate.
Yeah, but he's not Tim.
Yeah, he made a mistake.
It was probably spell check.
Made a mistake.
The guy's a fucking...
I just want to ask one question.
Did you hammer anyone on the show?
Let's see what the reply is.
Is that all you want to know?
That's all he wants to know.
He doesn't want to meet you.
Ask him.
No, he wanted me to do the polite text.
You're the one that went straight into this.
If I could get a hold of him in Vegas, mate, I'll kill him.
Mate, we're meeting him at Vegas.
Everyone wanted to hang out with us, me and him.
That's like you wanted to go to any bar in Hong Kong
and end up in a gay bar.
Sorry.
Turn this thing off.
No, no.
Turn the microphone off.
Turn the microphone off.
Mate, I told you what happened in Vegas with the...
What was it?
The drag racer, the world champion.
Did I tell you?
And when we'd gone down, I'd see a pile of t-shirts.
I'd go, we're fucking giving out t-shirts.
Anyway, so he calls me out.
We'd call out.
No, he goes over to get the t-shirt.
I go over.
What day's Vegas?
And you or the chick goes, I'll meet Tom.
Me.
I grab a shirt.
Try to sign it.
Sign it.
The guy's name's Tommy.
He's the world's fastest fucking...
Is he NASCAR?
No.
Top Fueler.
Top Fueler.
And the lady's freaking out at us.
Because we're going crazy.
We're trying to get his attention.
There's a massive queue.
And then we turn around and look at this queue.
Remember?
They're just coming from the other way.
Fuck me.
Dude.
The guy wanted to come out with us.
Mate, we had the maddest time there.
These two in Mexican territory.
Fuck that.
The one with the total Donald Trump hats.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
That was before the election was on that week.
They had maga hats on.
And they were getting dirty looks.
You know what the ironic thing is?
Nevada went drunk.
He won.
Go figure.
And then everyone's wearing them.
Yeah.
Silly.
Thank you for listening, Ray.
We did all that.
And...
Bye for now.
Bye for now.
Bye.
Yeah.
He would turn it off.
So we end up in this bar.
I'll tell you a deal.
Bts and all talk.
Let's go.
Like we go to this bar and it's so good we went again.
We go to this bar and we're out there having...
First we went to this karaoke bar and it was fine.
And then we end up...
We're going to go to this bar next door.
The girl that was with us was...
The headhunter.
Yeah.
She was nuts.
Nuts.
Nuts.
Two kids and a husband at home.
Like just...
Over there.
Like cheating is a national sport for all those people.
Oh yeah.
We're in this bar.
We go upstairs.
I'm hungry.
Some of the Vietnamese guy goes...
Filipino guy goes...
Nepalese guy goes across the road.
Brings me chicken tikka and some fucking...
Yeah.
There's no food at the bar.
But because Singapore Steve brings his own beer there.
Like he's got a brewery in Spain.
He brings his own beer here.
What?
So he can do whatever he wants in this bar.
Why?
So these Nepalese guys come...
Was it chicken tikka?
Chicken tikka.
And...
What was the other thing they brought?
Dumplings.
Like dumplings.
Mamosas or something.
Somosas.
Somosas?
No.
Mamosas.
Mamosas.
And they brought them upstairs on plates.
And then I was looking at us.
Like kings up there in the lounge having good old dinner.
Could have been there.
But I wasn't invited.
And then towards the end we're downstairs.
And the vibe sort of changed a bit.
And I turn around and I go,
Pete, that bloke's kissing another bloke.
So these two guys are kissing.
You're just a fucking gay buggy.
These two guys are kissing.
And then I go, oh they're really hot chicks staring at them.
Then he starts kissing the hot girl.
And I'm like...
So it was everybody.
It was Charlie Gaye.
Everyone was fighting.
It was just everyone was...
Can I ask a question?
No.
Who's his kiss?
Huh?
Who's his kiss?
Who's his kiss?
We were travelling together.
It was an economy.
Pete thought he was spooning in my room.
I said, Pete, I'm not going to use chopsticks.
I said, Pete, I'll organize your accommodation.
Anyway, I jumped on the thing and I rang the lady from the marriage.
I said, hi.
She goes, well, I booked a room.
It's a twin.
She goes, yeah.
So there's a friend coming with me.
She goes, oh yeah, how close are you with him?
I said, how close are you with her?
I went, I'm married and it's a him.
She went, so do you want split the rooms?
I went, split the rooms.
And we're on the same floor.
But you had to go one way and had to go the other way.
One night we got home.
Oh my God.
It was like two in the morning.
And there was this young girl sort of sitting outside the door next door to my room.
And I looked at her and I went, are you okay?
She just looked at me.
And I thought, she ate you.
Yeah, I said, just nothing to say.
Just going to your room.
Just going to your room.
Keep walking.
We in my room.
Yeah.
So let's just try to be, you know.
International language.
G-G?
Well, no, no, I just kept walking.
If she didn't react, I said, okay, she's either minding the door because her friend's
thinking or not.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Funny place.
Funny, funny place.
And on the map, three blocks.
Doesn't look far.
Oh my God.
But it's stairs.
It's an island.
It's uphill.
Remember, you said 97% humidity man.
I was saturated.
We're walking to the bar.
Still want to go?
Still want to go?
Still want to go?
Yeah.
You want to go to that bar?
No, I want to go to the bar.
Steve knows that bar.
About this episode
A lively discussion unfolds as the hosts share their recent trip to Hong Kong, filled with amusing anecdotes about their travel experiences, including a food fair and encounters with local cuisine. They delve into the quirks of the city, from navigating the metro to exploring unique car dealerships. The conversation takes a humorous turn when they discuss Joe Rogan and the infamous 'Fear Factor,' with one host revealing an email exchange with Rogan that leads to a playful debate about the show's contestants. The episode is packed with laughter, banter, and unexpected twists.
Original notes
Peter and Ross talk about their three days in Hong Kong, travelling First Class, Business Class and Economy. Tom gets a reply from Joe Rogan. Ross finds the spare key for a Maserati Grecale.
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All Torque Car Podcast
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