#2592: How to Divorce Your Car
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Car
Toyota pickup truck
The 1995 Toyota pickup truck is a small truck known for being reliable and easy to fix. Many people like to work on these trucks themselves because they are straightforward and durable.
Car
GMC Jimmy
The GMC Jimmy is a type of SUV made by GMC. The 1995 model is known for being tough and good for off-road driving.
Part
fan clutch
A fan clutch helps the car's engine stay cool by turning the fan on and off as needed. This saves energy and keeps the engine running quietly when the fan isn't needed.
Part
belt tensioner
A belt tensioner helps keep the engine's belts tight so they work properly. If it's worn out, the belts can become loose, which can cause problems with the engine.
Term
serpentine belt
A serpentine belt is a long, winding belt in a car that connects to different parts of the engine. It helps power things like the battery charger and air conditioning, all with just one belt instead of several.
Car
GMC 1500
The GMC 1500 is a type of pickup truck made by GMC. The '1500' indicates its size and capacity, and it was popular for being strong and useful for many tasks.
Term
RPMs
RPMs tell you how fast the engine is spinning. When the number is higher, it means the engine is working harder, which helps the car go faster, especially when going uphill.
Term
automatic transmission
An automatic transmission is a type of car system that changes gears by itself, so you don't have to do it manually. This makes driving easier, especially in traffic.
Term
first gear
First gear is the lowest setting in a car's transmission. It helps the car start moving or go up hills by giving it more power.
Term
six cylinder engine
A six cylinder engine means it has six small chambers where fuel and air mix and burn to create power. It's a common type of engine that can provide good performance without using too much fuel.
Term
eight cylinder engine
An eight cylinder engine has eight chambers where fuel burns to create power. It's usually found in bigger cars and trucks, giving them more strength and speed.
Term
350 engine
The 350 engine is a type of V8 engine made by Chevrolet. It's known for being powerful and is often used in sports cars and trucks.
Part
Rochester carburetor
A Rochester carburetor is a device that mixes air and fuel for an engine. It's often found in older cars and has a reputation for not working well.
Part
Edelbrock carburetor
An Edelbrock carburetor is a device that helps mix fuel and air for an engine, similar to a Holley. They are often used in cars that are built for speed and performance.
Part
Holly carburetor
A Holley carburetor is a type of fuel and air mixing device used in cars, especially those that are modified for better performance. They are known for being adjustable and improving engine power.
Part
Rochester two barrel
A Rochester two barrel is a part that helps mix fuel and air in an engine. It's found in older cars and can affect how well the engine runs.
Term
kick down cable
The kick down cable helps your car shift to a lower gear when you need more power, like when you're speeding up. If it's not adjusted properly, your car might not shift as smoothly or quickly as it should.
Term
kick down linkage
Kick down linkage helps your car shift to a lower gear when you need more power, like when you're speeding up. If it's not working right, the car might not shift gears on its own when you want it to.
Part
accelerator pump
An accelerator pump helps your car's engine get extra fuel when you press the gas pedal quickly. This makes the car respond better and not hesitate when you want to speed up.
Car
Jeep Wrangler
The Jeep Wrangler is a tough, off-road vehicle that can handle rough terrains. It's known for being able to drive with the doors and roof off, making it great for outdoor adventures.
Car
Toyota Land
The Toyota Land Cruiser is a large SUV that can handle tough roads and off-road conditions. It's popular for adventures and is known for being very reliable, but it can be quite expensive.
Term
Japanese car
Japanese cars are vehicles made by manufacturers from Japan. They are popular because they tend to be reliable and cost-effective.
Car
Land Rover Range Rover
The Land Rover Range Rover is a fancy, big car that can drive on tough roads and looks really nice inside. People like it because it’s both strong for adventures and comfortable for everyday use, but some worry about it being stolen because it's so popular.
Car
Jeep Cherokee
The Jeep Cherokee is a smaller SUV that is great for off-roading and can be used for everyday driving. It's well-liked for its ability to go on tough trails.
Car
Subaru Outback
The Subaru Outback is a car that looks like a wagon but can handle rough roads. It's good for families and people who like outdoor activities.
Car
Ford Falcon
The Ford Falcon is a small car made by Ford that was popular in the 1960s. The 1965 version is known for being dependable and easy to drive.
Part
ignition points
Ignition points are small parts in older cars that help start the engine by controlling the electricity that goes to the spark plugs. They make sure the engine gets the spark it needs to run.
Part
distributor cap
The distributor cap is a part of the engine that helps send electricity to the spark plugs in the right order. This is important for making sure the engine runs properly.
Car
Honda Civic
The Honda Civic is a small car that many people use for daily driving. The 1991 version is known for being dependable and good on gas.
LIVE
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Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, Click and Clack, the Tappet
Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the new diet division here at Car Talk
Plaza.
Now, as you know, every year or so, or maybe it seems like every month, a new diet fad
sweeps the country.
And as we know all too well, none of them works.
No.
You always end up standing in front of the freezer at midnight eating a cheesecake
right out of the box.
But here's a diet that might actually work and it was invented by none other than our
dad.
And this is going to work.
Oh, absolutely.
I mean, it's a simple matter of stoichiometry, right?
What goes in either comes out or stays inside and turns to what?
Fat.
Right.
My father, man, the guy's a genius.
One day, my mother is out of the house for the day.
She goes, I don't know, she goes to the bar down the street.
Who knows what she does.
She comes back in the middle of the afternoon and she says to my father,
do you have lunch?
He says, oh, yeah.
She says, what'd you have?
He said, I had that frozen chicken pie that we had in the freezer.
She says, oh, how was it?
He said, it was delicious.
So she's roaming around the house and she walks by the
microwave.
She peeks in the microwave and there's the chicken pie.
She opens the door and she says, whoa, you didn't eat the chicken
pie.
He says, I didn't, but it was so delicious.
Well, I realized that he was satisfied by the aroma.
That could have been it.
It smelled great.
We call this the geriatric diet because all you got to do is
remember that you ate it.
And you ate it.
And you ate it.
It's good enough.
He was completely satisfied and had a memory of it being delicious.
So we are going to inject into people's brains forgetful stuff.
I don't think I need a dose.
So that you will have the memory of having had lunch,
dinner, anything you want.
And this is a diet that stoichiometrically can't lose.
I mean, maybe you just need to look at the pictures of the stuff.
We'll work up to that.
I mean, why bother buying the whole chicken pie?
I mean, you have to buy.
I think the money you save.
I mean, one chicken pie could last you two or three months until it starts to get moldy.
Why didn't you get sick of it?
He might say, see, you know, I had that yesterday.
No, because we can fix it so you will remember that he had it yesterday.
Oh, boy.
He's going to hear this and we're in trouble, but he can take a joke.
God bless him.
If you want to talk, this is about your car or your diet or anything else.
Our number is 1-888-CART-TALK-TAS-888-227-888.
Get it?
I8, I8, I8.
That's Lamontra.
I8, I8, I8.
That's what you do all day.
Maybe you don't even have to do the injections.
I8, I8, I8.
Just sit down and you say I8, I8, I8.
227-8255.
Hello.
You're on CAR-TALK.
This is Gary Jacobs from New Smyrna Beach, Florida.
Hi Gary, from where, Florida?
New Smyrna Beach?
New Smyrna Beach, we're just south of Daytona Beach.
New Smyrna.
SMY RNA.
I have it.
I figured that, yeah.
Noose, I've never heard of it.
What was so bad about Old Smyrna Beach?
Well, I don't know, I've never been there.
Oh, just curious.
Yeah, so what's up, Gar?
I have a mechanical-moral dilemma.
Moral, man.
An MM.
Mechanical-moral.
We're ready.
All right, I'm a doctor.
Two doors down is a mechanic.
And I have a 1995 Toyota pickup truck
that I always changed my own oil on.
But I worked out a deal with a mechanic.
And he's driving a Jaguar.
And I worked out a deal with him that he would change my oil
and do all the mechanical, routine mechanical things.
And I'd take care of his family for free.
Really?
Yeah.
But anyway, when I was over there,
watching him change the oil, I went over there.
The car had been over there about two hours.
And I wondered if it was ready.
So I went over there and I noticed that he had a concoction
of socket-set extensions and U-joints
and all kinds of mechanical things
to get down to the oil filter to take it off
with an oil filter wrench.
And he'd already burned himself twice.
And it looked very, and he'd already been working on this
for an hour and a half.
Now, I know, having changed the oil before,
I know that you can just take four little bolts off
inside the wheel well and a little panel drops down
and you get a straight shot at the oil filter
and you can just pop it right off.
I see the problem too.
Now, he's a bonafide working-
Is he an employed mechanic?
Yes, he is.
But it doesn't work for Toyota?
No.
Obviously not.
No.
My question is, shall I tell him or how shall I tell him?
Don't tell him.
Well, he's going to figure it out sooner or later.
He's going to figure it out sooner or later.
No, no, he isn't.
I don't think so.
No, because he's going to go to work some day
and he's going to say, man, I was changing the oil
on a Toyota the other day.
What a pain in the butt that is.
You've got to do bug, bugger, and someone
will tell him sooner or later.
You didn't take the little panel off?
He's going to say, huh?
Well, here's another possibility.
A synonymous note.
The next time you're going to have him change the oil,
you take the little panel off, but say nothing.
Oh, I leave it hanging.
Yeah, leave it hanging.
Sure.
Right.
And when he goes to check out what's making all that noise,
he'll say, Sonya, Hennie's tutu.
I think that's a good solution.
Yeah, I like that too.
Because it would be in a front, I think.
I mean, the same thing is going to happen in the other direction
one of these days.
You're going to be treating one of his kids or his wife
or something, and it's going to be something painfully
obvious to him.
And you're going to start prescribing antibiotics
and who knows what surgery, because you have a boat payment
due, and he's going to know that the kid has a bean in him.
What do you guys do when you have a boat payment due?
Yeah, I mean, we know what we do.
See, it's pretty easy to manufacture illnesses.
All you have to do is plant the suggestion.
Is this some code of silence that you guys do?
No, we just hope people get sick.
Yeah, that's great.
How are you feeling?
Great, Doc.
That's too bad.
Well, I would remove the plate and hope for the best.
I think that's a great idea.
See you later, Gary.
Thanks for calling.
Thanks for asking.
It was a very sensitive issue.
Thanks, Gary.
Thanks, Gary.
Bye-bye.
At least he had the decency to ask that question.
Yes.
The sensitivity.
That's it.
The sensitivity most guys wouldn't.
You said, hey, you moron.
Hey, jerk.
1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-227-8255, a lawyer on CAR-TALK.
Oh, this is Sue.
Sue?
Yeah.
And whence do you call?
I've called from Philadelphia.
What's up?
I have a big problem.
Sure.
I have a Jimmy.
A Jimmy.
A Jimmy.
1995.
95 Jimmy.
It's white.
OK.
It has blue interior.
Blue interior?
40,000 miles.
Don't go giving us all these hints, Sue.
I want to make it easy for you.
Blue interior?
Yeah.
Isn't that kind of tacky looking?
No.
It's OK.
No, OK.
Fine.
This is the last one on the lot, huh?
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, we got a deal.
Got a deal.
Anyway, it makes a funny noise.
And when you first start it up, when it's cold,
it makes a loud noise.
Is it a roaring kind of noise?
Kind of a roaring noise.
Do you want to hear it?
We want.
Yeah, we want you to make a fool of yourself
on the national public radio.
OK, OK.
Hold on to something.
Here we go.
Woo!
I'll do it again.
Woo!
And then it lasts for about a block.
Is it exacerbated by revving the engine?
No.
And as you drive down that one block while it's doing this,
is the truck sort of going faster than you wanted to?
No.
No.
No.
It's not.
So it's making this noise.
Woo!
Noise.
And then after a minute, like somebody threw a switch,
it just goes right off.
But during the time that it's making this noise,
it in no way affects the performance of the vehicle.
No, not that I can tell.
My brother is asking you a lot of questions,
which would indicate that he's on the trail of something.
But I, knowing my brother as I do,
he ain't on the trail of nothing.
Does it have a blue interior?
Because I knew that none of those questions
was going to get him anywhere.
Because he has no idea.
Well, of course I have an idea.
No, you don't.
I do, I do.
You don't.
It's wrong, but I...
You know it's wrong.
See, even you know it's wrong.
But my first idea that I had was that you have a bad fan
clutch.
Oh, let me write that down.
Well, don't write that down because that's wrong.
Oh.
Because had that been correct, it
would have been made louder by revving the engine.
Oh, and it does not.
It does not.
It does not.
So I'm going to go to my fall back position.
Or is it spring ahead position?
It's spring ahead.
And that is that you have a bad, a worn out belt tensioner.
A belt tensioner?
Yes.
Should I write that down?
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah, and you may have a worn belt as well.
In many cases, if this vehicle has
what's called a serpentine belt,
there's one belt that drives everything.
Because it snakes around all these different pieces.
Back in the old days, you had a belt
that was dedicated to running the alternator,
another belt that was dedicated to running the power steering,
and one that was dedicated to the air conditioning.
So you'd have a stack of belts, like four deep.
This vehicle, like most modern vehicles, has one belt.
And that belt snakes around all these accessories
and runs everything at the same time.
And if the belt gets worn, it will make this kind of noise,
especially on startup.
And I hesitate to ask you if it's worse in cold weather.
Yeah, actually, I think it is.
Oh.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Was that good?
By the skin of his teeth.
Thank God.
Yeah, I would have your mechanic look at your belt.
And if the belt seems to be all right,
I would suspect a weak tensioner.
OK.
Gee, that was good.
There I was.
I have to apologize.
I thought from the series of questions
that you were asking that you had no idea what was
going on.
How silly of me.
Underestimated again.
Again.
See you soon.
Thanks for calling.
Thank you very much.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
OK, do you remember last week's puzzler?
Do I remember?
I mean, will you keep asking me,
do I remember last week's puzzler?
I'll repeat.
Do you remember last week's puzzler?
No, I didn't.
Ha, ha, ha.
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Hi, we're back.
You're listening to Car Talk with us.
Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers.
And we're here to talk about cars, car repair,
and the answer to last week's puzzler.
Now, this is another in the very famous matchstick series.
I think this one was the best.
Oh, do it.
Anyway, in order to participate in this puzzler,
you had to have had either a bunch of matchsticks
or toothpicks or pen and paper to draw the matchsticks.
And here it is.
You get your matchsticks and you make the following equation
with Roman numerals.
X i, which is 11 plus i, which is 1 equals X.
OK, so it's X i plus 1 equals X, which is clearly wrong.
It says 11 plus 1 equals, what, 10.
Not everyone knew it was wrong.
Those who knew it was wrong.
The people who took new math.
This is old math.
As Tom Lyra says, the goal is not to get the right answer,
but to understand what you're doing.
And the question was very simply,
what's the fewest number of matches
you can move to make the equation correct?
And I said that the plus sign and equal sign matches
are a fair game, but you can't throw away any matches.
And of course, I obfuscated as you'll soon find out.
But the basic question was, what is the least number
of matches you can, is that the question?
Yes, the smallest number of matches.
Smallest, yeah, yeah.
OK.
And the hint that I gave is that when I presented this
to my younger son, Andrew the other day,
he got the answer after he had left the room and returned.
That's brilliant.
I thought that was brilliant.
Brilliant, brilliant hint.
A brilliant hint, that's what I'm saying.
I thought that was a brilliant hint
after I knew the answer.
As he stood there at my side and looked at the equation,
he said, gee, I don't know, Dad.
He said, I can certainly move a match and make
the thing correct.
He said, but I told him, I said, well,
you don't have to move any matches.
Wow.
And he walked out of the room bewildered.
And when he came back.
Was he just bewildered or was he just a stupid jerk?
Well, that's things like that.
He mumbled.
But when he came back, he had the answer
because if you walk around to the other side of the table
and look at the equation.
You see it upside down.
You see it as 10 equals 1 plus 9.
Oh, man.
And you have to move no matches
to make the equation correct.
Who's our winner this week, Tommy?
Wow, that's what I know.
I've been so spellbound here.
I haven't even looked.
Here it is.
The winner is Jim Shaughnessy from Troy, New York.
And for having his correct answer chosen
from among the thousands of correct answers
that we had this week, Jim is going
to get a copy of our new book of puzzlers,
our haircut in Horsetown, which is now available
in all the best bookstores.
Yes, check the buck bin.
Buck of book bin.
You check the remainder bins or the dumpster out back
if you don't see it on the shelves
because that's where it'll be.
Anyway, we'll have a brand new puzzler
coming up in the third half of today's show.
In the meantime, we'll take your calls at 1-888-CARTALK.
That's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
Yeah, hi, guys.
This is Pete.
I'm in Norwich, Vermont.
Hi, Pete.
Norwich, Vermont.
You're in Norwich, Vermont.
Is that the place that's like way, way up north?
That is across the river, the Connecticut River
from-
Dartmouth College.
Exactly.
And last week, you had a guy from Hanover
and you guys didn't know there was a medical school
at Dartmouth either.
Yeah, there's a lot we don't know.
Well, I thought you'd gone to MIT
and so I expected, you know?
Well, that's exactly right.
That's why there's so much we don't know.
Every dam in press by how little I know.
So what's up?
Well, I have an 84 GMC pickup truck.
What series is it?
It's, what is it, a 1500?
1500, yeah.
Yep.
And I always had kind of a pickup problem with it,
especially going up hills.
I, it just, you know-
Oh, I thought you were talking about girls.
Well, that too, if you saw the truck.
And don't tell my, my wife might hear this.
Not a good looking truck, but it runs well.
As long as your wife doesn't look like the truck.
No, no, no.
That's all that matters.
Yeah, cause some people have a wife that looks like a truck.
You're not going to do that again.
No.
It's been great sleeping in the garage all week.
You did this week.
All right, when you get to your problem for God's sake,
we haven't got all day.
Well, anyway, the truck, I always, it ran great,
except I always had kind of a pickup problem
with it going, especially going up hills.
It would, it would just sort of go slower and slower
and slower.
And the only thing I could do was drop it into first gear.
It's an automatic.
And I put it into first, the RPMs would kick in
and it would start to, you know, go right on up the hill.
Well, then two years ago, I managed to blow the engine,
but it led to getting a new engine.
Good.
And that was great.
And yet I still, and the engine runs wonderfully.
And I also rebuilt the transmission at the same time,
but I still have that same problem.
Is this a six cylinder engine?
No, it's a, it's an eight, a 350.
Okay.
And it's an eight.
And then the last part of the story is that
about a month ago, we were getting some tires put on
and I was talking to the fellows out back
and I mentioned the truck problem
and the two of them were there
and they looked at each other with this knowing look
and they went Rochester.
And I said, what do you mean?
And they said, you got a Rochester carburetor in there.
They said, they're no damn good.
So I don't know, they said, what you got to do
is put a holly or an Engelbrock or something like that
or another angle brook.
They make a wine, I think.
Is that the angle look, a single look, yeah.
So these guys want to rip,
they want to rip off that Rochester two barrel
which you have on there.
That's what they were saying.
They said, if you had the holly in there
that my power problems would be over.
No.
Well, it may be.
I mean, I'm sure your power be improved,
your gas mileage would go down
but there are gajillions of these trucks
still on the road that have all the power in the world
with that two barrel Rochester on there.
And there's no reason why yours shouldn't too.
I mean, it should shift down on its own.
Yeah, the kick down cable may need to be adjusted.
Right.
And what you're doing by shifting it down manually
is what the kick down is supposed to do
and that's exactly what's supposed to happen.
Okay.
That makes sense.
So it doesn't, it is not necessarily the carburetor.
Well, that's what I wanted.
That's why I wanted to talk with you guys.
Well, I'm glad you did Pete.
I am too.
Just, I mean, just shift it down a gear and it'll go.
Well, but why wouldn't it do it on its own?
Well, because there's something wrong with the linkage.
Yeah, either the cable is adjusted wrong
or there's something wrong inside the transmission
or okay, you know.
If you really want to get it fixed,
have someone take a look at the kick down linkage,
otherwise just shift it down yourself.
And if it's giving you problems
and hesitating from a dead stop, it isn't that,
it could be that you just need an accelerator pump
in the carburetor.
So have them do that.
Good luck, Pete.
That sounds great.
Thanks a lot, guys.
See you later.
We love your show.
Thanks, good luck.
Thanks for calling.
Bye.
1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on CAR-TALK.
My name's Carol and I'm in Washington, D.C.
Carol, with an E?
Yes.
With an E.
Wow.
Yeah, unlike Christmas.
Yeah, yeah.
And I take no responsibility
for most of what happens in Washington, D.C.
Thank you very much.
Okay, so we won't ask.
Okay, no questions.
I'm calling because I have a 96 Saturn.
I'm going to have to trade my Saturn in
because I have just accepted a position in Africa.
I'm going to be living in East Africa
and driving around on roads that,
as a friend of mine puts it,
you need a jog bra to drive on.
Excellent.
My question is...
Where in East Africa are you going?
Well, I'm going to be based in Nairobi,
but doing a lot of work also in Arusha
and various parts of Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, and Rwanda.
I'm kidding.
What are you going to be doing?
I'm working for an international private organization
that's dedicated to wildlife conservation
and economic development.
Good for you.
You might bump into our producer, Doug Berman,
who ran away from home several years ago.
We keep mentioning him on the air,
but he's not here anymore.
And he went to East Africa to study drumming.
Really?
And he has, I guess it's been a couple of years now.
You know, interestingly, he went to East Africa
to study West African drumming.
Exactly.
And that's why he's failed miserably.
Well, he wanted to get the stranger's perspective.
Yeah, he got it all right.
So anyway, you need...
So I need some advice.
Everyone has advice,
but nobody really knows what they're talking about.
I'm not going to be...
No one aside from...
Oh, okay.
Oh, you may change your tune in a minute.
I was just going to say that why would you ask us?
Because we wouldn't know.
Well, I was hoping you might be able to venture again
as to what kind of...
I'm thinking four-wheel drive vehicles.
Of course.
Somewhere in my budget,
which would mean up to maybe 17, 18,000 youth.
Good.
That's a lot.
Wow.
Which doesn't require a lot of fixing.
Well, I mean...
I'm thinking basically, basically.
I think I've narrowed it down to Jeep Wrangler
or something that I haven't found yet.
Well, see...
I don't think of taking something with you.
Yeah.
We have spoken to people in the past
who have done the same thing.
We've always suggested that they try to find
something there.
Well, apparently if you find something there,
it's pretty badly beat up
and it's highly inflated in terms of cost
because whoever took it there
the first time probably paid duty on it.
All right.
Then what is there?
You want to get something that's already there.
Right.
In other words, if you show up with your Jeep Wrangler
and they don't know Jeep...
Right.
You're done for.
I think there is.
There is.
When you look at the Jeep website for what it's worth,
there is Mr. Somebody Or Other's shop.
Right.
It doesn't have email, but it has a phone number.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, so there is a Jeep dealership.
Of some sort.
We've always recommended, I mean,
that the vehicle you'll always see
in all these nature programs
is the Toyota Land Cruiser.
Yeah, of course.
If you've got 40,000.
Well, yeah, they're expensive.
Yeah.
Although the older ones are cheaper.
They...
Before they got to be luxury cars,
you might be able to find one for like 15.
Maybe, yeah.
You want a vehicle that's well known
so that there are people who understand how to fix it
and there's an infrastructure of hot parts.
Junk parts.
Right.
Okay.
And we don't know what that is
and how could we know?
Yeah.
I mean, have you been there lately?
Not to Nairobi lately.
I understand, though, but see, that's another thing.
In terms of the advice I'm getting,
oh, you should get a Japanese car
because everybody has a Japanese car
and then other people say,
whatever you do, don't get a Japanese car
because it will get stolen right away
because everybody has a Japanese car.
Oh.
So you want a car that's not attractive to thieves.
Oh, you need a Range Rover.
But that's a tough trade-off.
I mean, if you're going to get something
that's not attractive to thieves
because there aren't any of them around,
the first time it breaks,
you might as well get stolen
because you're not going to be able to get it fixed.
Because I should fix my sandals then at that point.
I would invest in the jogging bras instead.
I mean, how far do you have to travel daily?
I mean, why is the car a necessity?
Well, apparently, it is just to travel
even around Nairobi and to get out for weekends.
So aside from fast and price and whatever,
what holds up over really grinding,
kind of, you know, major?
Oh, I mean, Toyota Land Cruisers.
In the Jeep Cherokee, Jeep Wrangler would, too.
Would?
Yeah, so sure.
You know, I don't think I'd want to get something
like a Subaru outback
because I don't think it will hold up.
That was my next question.
Yeah, I don't think it's rugged enough.
I mean, I don't know what the roads are like,
but I'm pretty sure they're pretty lousy.
Pretty bad.
So you want something that has good ground clearance
and something that can really take a hit.
And the vehicles we just mentioned
are probably among the best.
But it would be really nice to get some information
from people who either are there currently
or have been there recently
and so they can tell you what's around and...
Well, you need to call the American Consulate.
Yeah.
Contact them.
Automotive Division.
Ask them what they drive.
Sure.
The last time I talked to someone, they said,
oh, well, I just brought over my old Peugeot from France.
Oh, that sounds like a great idea.
Exactly.
And you might want to go on the web.
And I mean, in these days of modern technology,
they have to be people.
In fact, we have a page on our website
which we call Good Karma.
People who want to do good deeds for others.
And you might just throw yourself upon the mercy
of the court and say, I'm going to Nairobi.
Anyone know anything about what kind of vehicles
are popular there and parts available in the mechanics?
Oh, it's someone like to lend me his Land Cruiser for five years.
Or whatever.
So you might want to just put a note on there
and see if you get any mail back.
Well, thank you very much.
And if you ever want to come on Safari,
you can look me up.
All right, Carol.
Take care.
Well, Safari, I haven't had that desire.
So far.
I'll let you know if I do.
Thanks for calling, Carol.
Bye.
Bye.
All right, before we get to the new puzzle,
we have to pause for a moment.
What?
Prey?
Yeah, pray that I come up with a puzzle in the next 60 seconds.
We'll be back in a minute.
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Ha, we're back.
You listening to car talk with us?
Click and clack the Tapper Brothers,
and we're here to discuss cars, car repair,
and the new puzzler.
I can hardly wait.
Did I ever tell you about Krusty's wedding?
I didn't even know Krusty was married.
Krusty's been married like five times.
No.
Yes, anyway, on the occasion of his most recent wedding,
he had to take a long trip to meet his bride-to-be.
Yeah.
And, you know, the arrangements had been made.
If she dies, she dies.
Is that mentioned here?
No, no.
And it was important that he get there.
It was quite a distance away.
I think it was in someplace like Unadilla, New York.
Wow, that's no way.
I thought it was important that he should take
his most reliable car.
And he didn't want to be late, because she told him,
if you're late for the wedding and it's off.
It's off.
Absolutely off.
And it's thought every day that a geezer like him
gets to marry a teenager.
Tell me about it.
That isn't a blood relative.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
So anyway, he fires up his most reliable car, his 65
Falcon, and he makes his way through Massachusetts
onto Route 7 in New York.
And he's be bopping along and all is right with the world.
And the car backfires and dies.
And he coasts to the side of the road.
And he realizes immediately that his points have burnt out.
And he says, oh, shucks.
If only I had another set of points.
And he opens the glove box.
And to his amazement is a brand new set of ignition points.
Oh, I thought you were going to say a salami sandwich.
That, too.
And as luck would have it, his entire toolkit
is in the glove box.
It consists of a screwdriver, a hammer, and a jack knife.
So he opens the hood, takes off the distributor cap,
and proceeds to remove the little screw that
holds the points in.
Don't tell me he dropped it.
He definitely removes the screw,
installs the new points, and drops the screw.
Where does it go?
Where it always goes.
Inside the distributor.
And he can't get it out.
He can see it.
He can even touch it with his screwdriver,
but he can't get it out.
He says, oh, my god, what am I going to do?
Runs to the trunk, opens the trunk,
and he finds in there, that's the kind of stuff
you usually find in the trunk.
Another salami sandwich.
Salami sandwich, the jack.
First, he considers jacking up the car
and tipping it over onto its roof.
And if you were to do that, the screw would fall out.
But he dismisses that possibility
because it might damage the paint.
He finds a 50-pound bag of dog food.
He says, dog food, I don't even own a dog.
He finds a junky old lamp that he bought at a garage sale.
This was to be the wedding present for his teenage
bride-to-be.
And a gallon of Philippo Berrio extra virgin olive oil.
The usual stuff.
Using one or a combination of these things.
He is able to extricate.
He manages to extricate the screw from its hiding place.
Inside the distributor.
Inside the distributor.
Within a matter of minutes.
And he does not tip the car over on its roof.
All right, a jack?
The standard bumper jack.
A bag of dog food.
Yeah, I am 50 pounds.
I am 50 pounds.
Yeah, or yours.
It doesn't have a dog.
Your arms.
An old lamp.
Yeah.
Salami sandwich.
And a gallon of Philippo Berrio extra virgin olive oil.
And using one or more of these items.
Yes.
And the screwdriver, the knife, and whatever else.
And his entire tool kit.
And the hammer.
Right, the screwdriver, the jack, knife, and the hammer.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
So if you know how he does it,
send your answer to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza,
Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, our fair city,
Matt 02238, or waste some precious electrons
by emailing us your answer from the Car Talk section
of cars.com.
If you'd like to call us, the number is still
1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
This is Ellen calling from Boston.
Can you hear me?
Ellen!
Yes, of course we can hear you.
Hi.
Boston, the actual Boston Boston.
Just across the river from Car Talk Plaza.
No kidding.
Yes.
Well, I'm calling with a moral, ethical, legal question.
I really need your help with.
I think we may have to excuse ourselves.
I have a 1991 Honda Civic.
It's a four door sedan and it's red.
And it seems to have a curse on it.
It's been in three crashes.
It's been vandalized nine times.
A tree fell on it.
It's been stolen and unfortunately returned.
And then there was the time that I thought it was vandalized
and brought it into the body shop for what I hope
with a small repair.
And the forensics expert at my body shop
told me that, in fact, a couple of kids
had had a fight on it and he could determine that
because the dents were not angled.
They would have benefited if it had been smacked
with a crowbar.
They were rounded as if a body had been shoved into it.
Someone's head had been smacked.
Wow.
Wow.
Clearly the car, it's bad karma, pardon the expression.
I want to get rid of it.
I'm just tired of having major car problems
and having to spend $500 of my deductible
and getting it fixed.
And I need to know, here's the moral question,
how much do I have to disclose about all these things
to prospective buyers?
Nothing.
Nothing?
No.
No, because.
And you gave us,
this is gonna be good.
You gave us the reason yourself
because all these things that have happened to the car,
don't necessarily have anything to do with the car,
but they really have to do with the fact
that you and the car are incompatible.
So is what you're saying that it's possible
that the curse is on me and not the car?
No, the curse is on, it's just like.
The union.
The union of you and the car.
You can take two perfectly nice people
and they get married and horrible things happen
only because not that each of them individually
is an evil person, but that the union is wrong.
Bad karma.
And so all of these things that have happened to the car
may not happen ever again.
Well, what if they ask?
Because the car's gonna crash.
Well, there's a way out of that.
You can hire an agent to sell your car.
This is why when you go to look at a house that's for sale,
the owner is never there.
No.
And the real estate agent answers to all of this.
Does it have any termites?
I don't know, they didn't say anything.
Gee, I don't think so.
Yeah, and of course they don't ask the
the celerity of these questions
because they don't wanna know.
So you could hire a real estate agent to sell your car.
They're good at nondisclosure.
Based on what you're telling me,
what I really need to do is divorce this car
and I don't really have a procedure for that.
You put an ad in the newspaper,
you put an ad in cars.com on our website.
I mean, all kinds of ways.
Yeah, but I think you have to disclose.
Okay, but if I disclose, would you buy this car
if I told you all these terrible things that happened to it?
I mean, this happened.
No, but my brother would.
This happens in the city,
it happens in the suburbs,
it happens on vacation,
wherever I take this car, bad things happen to me.
No, and anyone that looks at it
is going to figure it's you.
Maybe you can dress in a manner.
That's comforting.
Maybe you can dress up in a manner
that would make them think for sure.
That's you.
Oh, what a brilliant strategy.
Okay, so what should I wear?
I'm trying to think.
Well, we'll send you pictures of my sister.
I mean, you're going to go to one of these
wacko, out and left field hippie joints
where you buy used clothing.
Yeah, you're going to wear some beads.
Yeah, beads.
You're going to wear patchouli.
You're going to wear patchouli.
Patchouli perfume.
Yeah.
And a great big piece.
And have your hair hanging way down.
And don't bathe for like four or five days.
Yeah.
And then people will say, it's clearly not the car.
It's this wacko, Alan.
All right.
See you, Alan.
Thank you very much.
Bye.
Bye.
Well, it's happened again.
You've squandered another perfectly good hour
listening to car talk.
Our steam producer has dug the subway
fugitive, not a slave to fashion Berman.
Somewhere in East Africa.
Indeed, our associate producer
is Ken, the diaper slayer, Rogers.
Our assistant producer is Catherine Kiki Ray.
Our engineer is Dennis de Menesfoli.
Our senior web lackey is Doug Sheepboy,
mayor, and our technical, spiritual, and menu
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known to the meter maids as U of Louis Dui.
Thanks so much for listening.
We're clicking clack to tap it, brothers.
Don't drive like my brother.
Drive like my brother.
We'll be back next week.
Bye-bye.
And now, straight from a hot, hot series in Las Vegas,
is car talk clauses director of human resources,
Mr. Vinnie Gumbaz, Vinnie.
Well, thank you very much for that intro now.
If you're human and you're looking for resources,
I've got your resource right here, OK?
Just call 1-888-CARD-JUNK.
And you can get any car talk stuff you want.
So if somebody wanted a copy of, like, today's show,
which is number 26, they would just call 888-CARD-JUNK,
right?
Right there?
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And if you want other car talk stuff,
like t-shirts, CDs, or books, you
can get that stuff too at the Shameless Commerce
Division by calling 888-CARD-JUNK or online
at the car talk session of whatcars.com.
Thank you, Vinnie.
That was very informative.
Yeah, thank you, Dick Tracy.
Car talk is production of Dewey Cheatham and Howe
and WBUR in Boston.
And even though Dr. Evil snickers
in devious delight every time he hears us say it,
this is NPR, National Public Radio.
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About this episode
Exploring the humorous intersection of car troubles and personal dilemmas, the Tappet Brothers tackle a variety of listener questions, from oil changes to quirky vehicle noises. A standout moment features a doctor debating whether to inform a mechanic about a simpler way to change oil on a Toyota. The episode also highlights a caller's quest for a reliable vehicle for life in East Africa, leading to discussions about the best options for rugged terrain. With their signature wit, Click and Clack provide practical advice while keeping the mood light.
Original notes
Ellen from Boston has had enough and wants to divorce her Honda. It's been in 3 accidents, vandalized repeatedly and been hit by a falling tree. Will Click and Clack agree that this union was simply not meant to be, or will they suggest some expensive counseling sessions at the Good News Garage first? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.
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