A clutch is a part of some cars that helps you change gears. It connects and disconnects the engine from the wheels, which is important for driving smoothly.
An automatic transmission is a type of car system that changes gears for you, so you don't have to do it yourself. It makes driving easier, especially in traffic.
The Subaru Outback Sport is a type of car that is good for both city driving and off-road adventures. It's designed to be versatile and can handle different types of terrain.
A metal sound coming from a car can mean something is wrong, like parts are rubbing together or something is loose. It's a good idea to check it out to avoid bigger problems.
A heat shield is a part of the car that keeps other parts safe from getting too hot. It wraps around the exhaust system to protect things nearby from the heat it produces.
The catalytic converter helps clean up the car's exhaust gases to make them less harmful to the environment. It's an important part of the car's exhaust system.
Wheel bearings help your car's wheels turn easily. They support the weight of the car and make sure the wheels can spin without much effort, which is important for driving safely.
CV joints help your car's wheels move smoothly while turning and going over bumps. They connect the wheels to the engine and allow for movement without losing power.
The Eagle Summit Wagon is a type of car made by the Eagle brand, which is no longer in business. It's a compact wagon that offers more space for passengers and cargo compared to a regular sedan.
A heavy spring is a part of the car's suspension system that helps support the car's weight and makes the ride smoother. If it's making noise, it might be broken or worn out, which can cause problems while driving.
The rear suspension is the part of a car that helps keep the back wheels in contact with the road. It makes the ride smoother and helps the car handle better, especially when going over bumps.
Springs are metal coils that help make the ride in a car smoother by absorbing bumps in the road. They support the weight of the car and help keep the wheels on the ground.
Silicone lubricant is a slippery substance that helps parts move smoothly without rubbing against each other too much. It's often used to keep car parts from getting stuck or wearing out.
A seatbelt is a strap in your car that keeps you safe by holding you in your seat. It helps protect you in case of an accident.
Car
Alfa Spiders
The Alfa Romeo Spider is a stylish convertible sports car that looks really cool and is fun to drive. It's known for its beautiful design and has been around for many years, making it a favorite among car enthusiasts. People talk about it because it's a classic car with a lot of character.
Car
Lumina van
The Chevrolet Lumina is a type of car that was made for families and had a lot of space inside. It was popular in the 1990s and early 2000s.
The Chevrolet Suburban is a big SUV that can carry a lot of people and stuff. It's been around for a very long time and is great for families or anyone who needs extra space. People often talk about it because it's known for being reliable and useful.
The Volkswagen Beetle is a small car with a very distinctive round shape. It's famous for being cute and fun to drive, and many people love it because it has a lot of character. It's often mentioned because it's a classic car that many recognize.
All-wheel drive means that all four wheels of the car get power from the engine, which helps the car grip the road better. This is useful when driving in rain or snow.
The Subaru Legacy is a car that is known for being reliable and good in bad weather. It's a popular choice for families and people who need a dependable vehicle.
The Toyota Camry is a popular family car that's known for being very reliable and easy to drive. It's a comfortable car that gets good gas mileage, which makes it a favorite among many drivers. People often mention it because it's a safe and sensible choice.
Carbon buildup happens when carbon from fuel and oil sticks to parts of the engine. This can cause problems like valves not working properly, which can make the engine run poorly.
Engine compression is the pressure inside the engine's cylinders when the fuel and air are squeezed together. If this pressure is too low, the engine won't run well or may not start at all.
Carbonized valves happen when carbon builds up on the engine's valves, which can cause the engine to run poorly. It's usually due to not burning fuel completely.
Fuel injector cleaner is a special liquid you can add to your gas tank to help clean the parts that spray fuel into the engine. It helps the engine run better by removing dirt and buildup.
MotorVac is a machine that helps clean the inside of an engine using a strong cleaning solution. It's often used by mechanics to fix problems caused by dirt and buildup.
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And thanks.
Hello and welcome to Kartalk from National Public Radio. Well, let's click and
clack the tappet brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the Division
of Higher Education here at Kartalk Plaza. Everyone knows we're interested in higher
education. We certainly are. In other words, in September, here's a story that's
certain to be of interest. This is from the Detroit Free Press. Northward University
offers a degree in automotive marketing. This is an actual university, and they actually
offer a major in automotive sales. So our crack staff rode away to Northward University,
and has obtained an actual copy of the course catalog. And my brother will read you a few
excerpts from the required, required course list. Go for it. I mean, we just read, we just took
these right out of the catalog. Here's one. Psychology 202. The effectiveness of sartorial
patterns on purchase decisions. Plaid pants and you. Professor Iacocca will delve into the
effect that different patterns can have on purchase and upsell decisions. Do wider
plaids encourage power options? Do gingham plaids affect leather seat sales? Does wool
or polyester affect closing rate? Pre-requisite sociology 201, white belts, and luxury purchase
intentions. Here's another. Economics 301. Market timing strategies. When to say,
I have to go talk to my sales manager. Professor R. Smith. Oh, R. Smith? Yeah, R. Who could that
be? We don't know. Professor R. Smith will explore the delicate art of timing. When is
the appropriate moment during a negotiation to relinquish authority to a fictitious supervisor?
How to make sure you are completely out of sight during this ploy so the customer
will not see you having a cigarette by yourself and leaving through Newsweek.
What is the exact right moment to throw in the free floor mats? Several theories
that we thoroughly tested and evaluated through role-playing with the help of guest
lecturers. I mean lecturers. Pre-requisite psych 101, the art of lying. I like it.
English 107. Advanced rhetorical analysis. How to answer questions without the benefit
of facts. Like unencumbered by the thought process. Professor Reagan will offer an
overview of skills necessary to allay concerns, rebut criticism, and answer difficult technical
questions. All without the benefit of any particular knowledge. Kind of like our show.
Memorization of several dozen vocabulary words will be required as they will then be
used in an improvisational manner to respond to subjects on automotive, economic, and foreign
policy topics. Sounds like a good course. Pre-requisite English 102. Basic motor skills,
lip, and tongue coordination. And this is the last one. Math 206. We're gonna get mail.
It is the last one. Math 206, getting to 40,000. Creative edition techniques are discussed
along with such tools as exterior and interior packages, pinstriping, a little known state and
federal fees, and dealer prep costs. The semester concludes with an overview of advanced
numerical obfuscation theory and spontaneous acronym creation. Guest lecturers will come
from major auction houses, Vegas gaming establishments, and money-losing internet companies.
Pre-requisite Math 104, calculating your commission while talking.
I'm sorry, where is this place? Northwood University? In Detroit.
Wow. Yeah, I deal always the wrong line two away.
The dean of admissions wants us. It's a John Mungin letter. Guest lecturers,
if you'd like to talk to us about your car or perhaps enrollment in Northwood College,
the number is 888-CAR-TALK. That's 888-227-82-55. Hello, you're on car talk.
Hi, my name's Rosanna. I'm in San Francisco. Hi, Rosanna. Rosanna. Rosanna, Rosanna,
Dana. Exactly. Excellent. From where? San Francisco? San Francisco, California.
Yeah. What's going on? You got a car? You know what? I have my friend's car for the
summer. Did you burn the clutch out? Exactly what I was going to ask. No, it's an automatic.
It is. It is. It's a pretty new car. It's a 97 or 98 Subaru Outback Sport. Yeah. And it's driving
back from work the other day, and I heard a kind of ringing noise coming from under the car.
Yeah. I noticed a man in a... Yeah, I noticed a man in a stopping car. Oh, maybe you ran
over a cell phone user. We hope. I noticed a man in a shopping cart rolling toward me,
and I thought, oh, that's making the noise. But then about a mile later, it was still there.
That wasn't it. It stops whenever I stopped the car to stop, sign or stop light.
It stops when I turn, make turns. But once I straighten the car back out again,
I hear the ringing. It's almost like a metal sound dragging on the ground.
But you have to be moving pretty much or revving up the engine a little bit to hear it?
Moving. Moving. Yeah.
Moving. Have you tried just revving up the engine without moving? For example,
leaving it in park or neutral? I didn't try that. I didn't think so.
Yeah. I didn't think so. I'm not very good at diagnostics.
Yeah. Well, that, that'll mean we'll have to give you two answers.
Okay. One for moving and one for revving. Okay.
I'm only, I'm prepared with only one answer. No, you're not. I am. I'm not.
Oh, all right. Well, sure. Well, you give your answer and I'll give my answer. Yeah.
And you'll obviously give the other one. Yeah.
I mean, you may have, you may have two answers. I, I have two.
I mean, you have two more. Oh, I guess one of yours may not be mine.
Wouldn't that be interesting? Then we'd have three, wouldn't we? There you go.
Well, my answer is that you have a loose heat shield. And what you're hearing is the little
sheet metal of the heat shield rattling and it's a benign little noise.
And where is the heat shield located? The heat shield on this car.
Outside of the re-entry rockets. Right.
You had me writing that down.
Well, the heat shield is everywhere. The heat shield runs from stem to stern on the exhaust
system on this car. It starts virtually at the engine and there are heat shields wrapped
around the front exhaust pipe and, and the intermediate pipe and the catalytic converter
and the tailpipe, you name it. There's a heat shield. And it could be any one of
those heat shields that's come loose and is making this annoying little
noise. And that's, that's 99% probably right. And you can corroborate that by sitting there
with the, with the car in neutral apart and revving up the engine and you will get the
noise without actually being in motion. I will get the noise. I think so. Okay. But now my
brother's prepared to give you six or seven other answers. That was, that was my first
answer. And the second one is if in fact you, you rev it up and you can't get the
noise unless you really are moving. Okay. Then that probably isn't it. Okay. Then you might have a
little, I don't know, backing plate that's bent and maybe a rotor is just barely touching it.
Oh, you could have a pebble stuck in the air. Pebble stuck between them. Give them
at the pebble beach or anything like that. No, haven't been out there recently.
Yeah. But I don't think so. I think that you can get the noise even when you're not
moving and that it's going to be the heat shield. So when are you returning this car?
At the end of the week. End of the week. Oh good. The sooner the better, right?
Exactly. Exactly. There was a little bit. I wouldn't even mention it. Oh, you have to.
You have to give whoever you borrowed from a full report. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Really? I agree. Here's why I wouldn't say anything. Because how long, you've had the
car all summer? Yeah. The person who was stupid enough to let you drive his car or her car
is going to get in the car and not having driven it for three months or so
is going to hear five other noises which he's going to blame you for.
So why add another one? If you say, oh, it makes sense. Little tinkle, tinkle noise.
He's going to say, yeah, well, what about the thunking noise when you hit a bump?
What about the noise I hear when I take a left turn? What about the rose bush that stuck
to the left front fender? It didn't make any of those noises when I gave you the car.
And you're going to end up paying for a transmission, CV joints, wheel bearings.
Oh, here's what you do. Arrange to be out of town when he returns. Smart.
Unavailable. Give him three or four days to sort things out and you have to be in communicato.
You have to be someplace. You disappear. Can't be found. Wait, Rosanna? Don't know.
You know what's good to? Out of town. Return it on a day when you're having storms.
Rain and thunder, especially loud thunder. I was thinking of leaving the radio
volume up really loud. We try that at the shop all the time. But get the heat shield looked at
if you want to get rid of this. If this is the only thing, take it to a gas station and if they can
duplicate the noise, they can probably tighten it up and put a little weld on it. Okay.
Chewing gum works. Yeah, for a day. I was going to say duct tape, that kind of thing.
Yeah. See ya, Rosanna. Okay, thanks. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. If they had high temperature
chewing gum, that would work. We have that. All right, Tommy, I'm not going to ask you
if you remember last week's question. Instead I'm going to ask you a much easier question.
Compare and contrast the economic policies of King George III and King Louis XV
paying special attention to physiocracy as a reaction to 17th century mercantilism.
As a dad, BetterHelp president Fernando Madera relates to needing flexibility when it comes to
scheduling therapy. They have kids under 18, so like, time is very limited. That's why at BetterHelp
our therapists try to have sessions, sometimes at night depending on the therapist who are
doing the weekend. So I think that's what we need to tell the parents, you're not alone,
we can help you out. If a flexible schedule would help you, visit betterhelp.com
slash NPR for 10% off your first month of online therapy. Support for NPR and the following message
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Like my brother, Dewey Chinman, how you can now get car talk t-shirts that say, for instance,
if money can fix it, it's not a problem. Life is too short to drive boring cars.
Do it while you're young. You may never have a chance to do anything this stupid again.
Reality often astonishes theory or happiness equals reality minus expectation.
How about this one? Lows you car advice since 1977 and many, many more. If you'd like one or
want one to ship to a friend or relative, you don't really like, just head over to
Our fair city. Matt02238. And I'm sure the cell phone industry is with us 100%
on this safety campaign. Of course they are. They're going to be. Although strange enough,
they haven't called to congratulate us yet. Isn't that odd, huh?
That is kind of strange, isn't it?
Hey, do you know what it's time for, man?
Time to mow the weeds again?
No. It's time to play Stump the Chomp.
This is the portion of our show. When we go back and ask a previous caller whether the
advice we gave was any good or just plain stinko.
I hate this part of the show.
I know you do so. Stop whining.
Who's going to humiliate us this week?
Well, this paper here says it's Mike from brothel, no, bottle, bottle, bottle Washington.
Bottled, bottled Washington.
Bottled Washington. Mike called a couple of months ago because once a week or so I'm reading this,
his 93 Subaru Legacy would die while he was climbing a hill. He'd pull over,
sit there for a minute or two, then he could start it right up and the car would be fine.
Oh, I remember. And we told him that his Subaru suffered from a rare trans-species ailment.
This was when you were on your walnut shell kick, I believe, wasn't it?
I'm not sure, but I think so.
And you have a, your car, that is, has a rare disease, which it may have contracted
from another car in the neighborhood. You have Toyota Camry Syndrome.
No kidding. I believe so.
TCS. TCS.
Yeah, well known among cardiologists.
And what you have is carbon buildup on the valve train, which causes some of the valves
to stick open and not close, thus rendering the engine compression-less.
Are there any Toyotas that you park near at work?
Yeah, on either side of me, both neighbors.
Oh, ah, there you go.
That'll do it.
I did, I'm sure I did.
Late at night, when you're asleep, you don't know what's going on.
Exactly.
Ah, TCS, Toyota Camry Syndrome in a Subaru. If you're right, you could write this one up
for the journals, you know?
Well, we explained that Toyota Camry Syndrome results from carbonized valves,
and if you catch it early enough, you can sometimes treat it with a few bottles of,
ah, you know, fuel injector cleaner.
Yeah, but what if it's late stage, TCS?
Then you've got to use a device called MotorVac that forces a powerful cleaning solvent
through the engine.
Like Jolt Cola, one of those.
Mike, are you there?
Yeah.
Mike, before you tell us whether, in fact, you had TCS or not,
we have to, as they say in the police business, common mirandize you.
Now, it's a nearly painless surgical procedure, Mike.
So is it true that you have not been offered any cash prizes or SNH green stamps
by NPR, NPR member stations, or the cell phone lobby in exchange
for embarrassing us here today on Stump The Chumps?
Oh, absolutely.
Great.
Sorry.
So what happened, man?
Oh, well, I just, it was pretty interesting.
I took your advice and went down and found the cheapest chemicals I could put in my gas tank,
you know, considering the advice I got.
Yeah.
So you put the stuff in?
Yeah, I put the stuff in.
I went through two tanks of gas.
I went and got the two-for-one sale on the chemicals.
Oh, so you put one can in one tank of gas?
Yeah, and then put it in the second tank of gas, and then it got better.
It's just a little bit fantastic.
Mike, I mean, what can we say?
How can we possibly repay?
Oh, we already did.
Well, thanks for playing Stump The Chumps, Mike.
I'm glad everything is A-OK.
Oh, yeah, it's fantastic, guys.
Appreciate the help.
It's our pleasure.
All right.
Bye-bye.
You know, we have calculated our batting average on Stump The Chumps.
What do you think it is?
Let me see.
You're about one.
No, no, no, no, no.
Let me see.
No, no, no, no, no.
Just take a batting average, guys.
I would say 200.
Two, one out of five, right.
Two out of 10, actually.
OK.
Well, here's the numbers.
Eight out of 40.
We have played Stump The Chumps 40 times.
I don't know over what period of time, including today.
Here are the results.
I'm ready.
You ready for this?
We had six mistrials due to misleading or inconclusive evidence.
Oh, yeah.
I believe I can believe that.
I guess they don't count.
They don't count at all.
Then we had 21 correct answers.
Get out.
Then you are already over 500.
Over 500.
Then we had 13 answers that were either incorrect,
misleading, or criminally negligent.
So it's really, let's see.
Let me get a pen here.
It's really 21 out of 34.
Yeah.
So what is that?
619.
Holy.
We're batting 619.
I'm going arbitration next season.
I mean, who are these guys?
I can't play for this chump change anymore.
No.
I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror.
619.
619.
I'm shocked.
This is over, what, 10 years?
Six months.
Wow.
Sort of, if you'd like to call us,
and you'll have a 61.9% chance of getting a right answer from us.
Remember that.
Wow.
Based on these 40 or so calls.
That's not bad.
40 is a good sample size.
Mickey Mouse, a little sample.
Well, it's happened again.
You've squandered another perfectly good hour
listening to car talk.
Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive,
not a slave to fashion Berman.
Our associate producer is Ken the Diaper Slayer Rogers.
Our assistant producer is Frau Federlosa.
Our engineer is Dennis de Menesfolie.
Our senior web lackey is Doug Sheepboy Mayer.
And our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor is the Bugster.
Sean Bugsy make that three free lunches in three days, Lawler.
And he's still awake.
He stayed awake for the whole show.
Stayed awake for the entire show.
Well, that's what happens when you make him stand.
I notice he has someone to tie his arms to the door.
Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research,
assisted by statistician Marj Novera.
Marj Novera, our customer care representative
is Haywood Jabuzoff, our sales director in Iraq,
is Aziz Nowaranty.
Our daylight savings time manager is Conrad Adenauer,
who's assisted by our director of Standard Time, Red Hour Back.
Sean's personal matchmaker is Robin D. Cradle.
Robin D. Cradle.
And our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Chiedman Howe
is Yulu Istui, known to the languishing tourists
as Yului Dewey.
Thanks so much for listening.
We're clicking clack for Tappet Brothers.
And remember, whatever.
Don't drive like my brother.
Need I say it?
Don't drive like my brother.
We'll be back next week.
Bye-bye.
And now, a special treat we have here in the studio,
Carthage Plaza's chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbaz.
Vinnie?
Hey, thank you very much.
Now, if you just want a copy of this year's show,
which is number 37, just pick up your phone
and call this number.
Yeah.
You ready?
1-888-CAD-JUNK.
And what if I wanted a Cat Talk CD or a t-shirt, Vinnie?
I mean, will I call that same number?
No, you call the warmer baby for president committee,
you dope.
Of course, you call the same number.
You call the shameless commerce division at 888-CAD-JUNK
or visit it online at the Cat Talk section at Cat's.com.
You got it?
Well, thank you, Vinnie.
That was very edifying as you said.
Hey, edify this guy.
Car Talk is a production of Dewey Chitman Howe and WB Arn Boston.
And even though our dad admits that adoption may have been
a better way to go whenever he hears us say,
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Things people love.
About this episode
A humorous exploration of automotive education kicks off with the Tappet Brothers discussing Northwood University's unique automotive marketing courses, featuring quirky classes like 'Psychology of Purchase Decisions' and 'Advanced Rhetorical Analysis.' The episode includes entertaining listener calls, including a woman who had a near-accident involving a spider and a man with a mysterious noise in his Subaru. The brothers provide light-hearted advice while sharing their comedic take on car troubles and the quirks of vehicle ownership.
Gina was tooling along a local country road when an humongous spider descended in front of her eyes and into her lap. She doesn’t have any questions about removing stains from upholstery but there is the matter of the hedges and lawn furniture she wiped out as she careened down the embankment towards the waterfront. Brace for impact and check out this episode of The Best of Car Talk.
