A Needle astray

Rusted old memories buried in dust

Through the wreckage of dreams

I'm trying to trust each faded sign

Whisked stories of old, of laughter

And heartache of love that grew cold

Are you really digging for peace

Or is that just a lie

Tell to help you sleep

Sure that you really want

Truth behind all the stories they go

Welcome to the wrecking yard

I'm Jerry Wayne Longman

Y'all, presumably still y'all

All are welcome here in the church

Of internal combustion

We just asked that you show up

With an open heart

Like I like to say, this is a safe haven

For those of us with dirty hands

And complicated hearts, complicated hearts

Thought I said that wrong

And realized I said that right

Hope everybody's

Doing alright, I know it's the day after

July 4th and July 4th

In the middle of the weekend

There's gonna be some folks with some hurting heads today

Ah, that's good coffee

Oh man

It's not too bad this Sunday

It's about 10 a.m.

I tried to beat the heat a little bit

It's only...

Looks like we're running about 84-83

On the temperature of my meter

I'm sure it's gonna let old sons up there

And blaze and all right

It was a cooker here yesterday

And this is when my poor old house

Couldn't hardly keep up against it

Of course as always, wreck yard is brought to you

Our good friends at the World About Laws Race Series

And I have an upcoming event with them

At the Bap Speedway in Pennsylvania

In York Haven, July 29th

I'm also gonna be at the Pittsburgh Improv Comedy Club

The day after that, July 30th

So if you're in that area, man, I'd love to meet you

To come out and racetrack and hang out with us

Or come see me at the Pittsburgh Improv

Remember, if you use discount code WooJerry

You can get a discount on your tickets

For any racing events I'm attending

Of course, a good friend

Shane, all the people at the Outlaws and Gents

Men's, grooming products

That's why I look so pretty today

That's all

It's all thanks to their diligent hard work

I told y'all before, I've used a lot of different products

Had a lot of people send me stuff

I've tried stuff of my own, bought stuff of my own

This is the best stuff I've ever used on my beard

And I like it from my hair too

Make sure you go check out

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And see what they got

What you might like

If you use code

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That'll get you some discounts there

On some of the beard products

I'm a little tired, guys

It's been an exhausting week

Running around

Trying to take care of things

I stayed up too late last night

And woke up with my stomach upset this morning

About six o'clock in the morning

So I've been up since six a.m.

I should've just come out here and filmed this

But I was putzing around the house doing something

My sister's coming into town

She's gonna hang out with the kids

The kids

Noah just turned 14

Ain't no kids left in my house

A bunch of teenagers

He had his 14th birthday this past week

And

Aunt Kimmy's gonna come hang out with them

And Rachel's gonna accompany me

As I make my way to Southern California

I'm gonna fly out Wednesday

I got a show at the Brea Improv Wednesday

And

Then a show at the comedy store

Of course in Hollywood

On Friday

And then

Another show in San Diego

At the American Comedy Company

On July 12th

Which is a Sunday

And I'm looking forward to it

I have a lot of anxiety right now about ticket sales

And I'm all worked up about that

So it's kinda hard

I know once you get on the plane

Once you get to a certain point in the week

Then there's no more worry about that to be done

Then it's just show up and do the gigs

You know

And the gigs are gonna be what the gigs are gonna be

But I sure hope some folks turn out in Brea to see me

And

San Diego sales are a little slow

But it's a Sunday

But I'm hoping I get a little better crowd out in San Diego to see me

Because

Lord knows I'd like to go to that club again

In the future

I am excited for the trip though

I got a lot of fun things planned

I'm going to go be a guest

On

A podcast called Smoking Tire Podcast

Which is like number one automotive

Podcast in the country right now

So I'm really excited to go talk to those guys

And

Sit in with them

And I'm good to hang out with my good buddy Vinny

Who worked for a big agency

Out there in Los Angeles

He's the guy that got me involved with Hot Wheels

And doing the Legends Tour

I will unfortunately not get to do the Legends Tour this year

Because they're coming to Houston

And I'm headed to Los Angeles

So

In fact Vinny is coming to see my show at the

Comedy Store with some of his friends

And then literally getting on a red-eye flight

That night to fly back to Houston

To fly to Houston

So he can be here for the Legends

Event here in Houston

So

Also my good buddy Brian Benedict

Has

Offered to take me over

To see Gabriel Iglesias's

Volkswagen collection

If you watch this show for any

Good lord

Oh

Why am I already just bothering me so much

The last few days

Sorry about that

If you watch me for any period of time

You know I love myself and Eric Coole

Volkswagen

And Gabriel Iglesias

Has one of the largest collections

Of Eric Coole

VW's on the planet right now

And so I'm terribly excited

To go see some of that

And hopefully they're going to let me take the camera

And do some little video

And stuff like that

If not I'll do my best to describe it

Y'all

But I don't think they'll mind

And I'm hoping Rachel's

Going to go with me to that

Maybe she can take some good pictures

Because she's a much better photographer

Than I am

So I'm looking forward to that

Plus Friday

My good buddy Chris Shaw

That the

Day-wanners

You know all about Chris Shaw

And he's coming

And we're going to do the comedy store together

And I'm just terribly excited

To see him because I ain't seen him in a minute

You know

So I'm hoping it's going to be a good trip

Seems like all the ingredients

Are there to make it one

But I am running a little ragged

All the marketing

And all that stuff

Marketing's not fun

You know it's part of the job

It's the work part of the job

I mean don't get me wrong the writing

And all that's the work too

But the marketing part's not fun

And there's always

Uncertainties when you go on the road

One thing that's kind of cool though

So I was having rental cars

In Los Angeles were insanely

Expensive right

Especially get a rental car to do a one way

Drop off like

Pick up a rental car in LAX

Drive it around LA for a couple of days

And drive it and drop it off in San Diego

Because I'm flying out of San Diego Monday

To come back to Houston

So

I said boy

Screwed around

Anyways Rachel found us a really good deal

In a rental car

Just using LA

A little Volkswagen Tiguan

And

I found out

That I started looking up public transportation

How I could get to San Diego

And you know

Puddle jumpers whatever I could find

To get me to San Diego

So we didn't have to have a car

I dropped off in San Diego

Because that cuts a bunch of the cost out

We'd already got a pretty good deal in our hotel

Even though it's like in Hollywood

Like right by the comedy store

It's a cool little place called Ziggy's

And we got a really good deal on it

Thanks to my sister-in-law

And her efforts

So I started digging around and I found out

That there was an Amtrak that goes

From Los Angeles to San Diego

And they run about 17 trains a day

It's not really that big deal

And it's a three hour trip

And most people I met that live in Los Angeles

And make that drive from time to time

Tell me it takes longer than that to drive there

They're like the only way it takes three hours

To drive there is if you leave it like five in the morning

But they're like anytime during the day

You're going to be caught in all kind of traffic

Trying to get down there

I'm excited about that

Because the only trains I've ever ridden

Have been like

Either work stuff back

When I did inspection

We did train rail inspection

We were on a special car that had

The ability to let us set up our cameras

And everything and shoot train rail

And do UT on them

The only trains I've really ridden

Have been like museum type trains

Like specialty trains

I've never ridden the Polar Express

But I rode one in Colorado

The Wolf Creek past train

When I was younger

And

Couple little things like that

Short rides

I've never actually traveled by train

So I'm kind of excited about the new experience

Plus

The ticket

Like business class

Like the best ticket they offer

Was only like 55 bucks

I was like boy that's pretty cool

And where it drops me off

In San Diego

It's very close to my hotel

I'm very close to the comedy club

I'm performing at

So in case of an error there

I get an Uber or catch a trolley maybe

And get down to where I'm trying to go

But

Pretty psyched

Pretty psyched about riding a train

I don't know what that says about me

But it looks like a cool train ride

I mean after you get out of the LA basin

It kind of just wanders down the coast

And it looks like there's some price and good views

Get out there and look at the ocean

And all that good stuff

So I'm psyched about that new experience

And I think that's a passenger

Dedicated rail line

I may be incorrect about that

But I think it's a passenger dedicated rail line

So I don't even think it's the one

Where you gotta worry about a bunch of delays

From freight and stuff like that

Anyway

So we've just been getting ready

To go on that trip

I gotta get off here

And actually

Finish up my laundry

Which is an exciting prospect

But it was nice

We watched the fireworks last night

All that good stuff

I had something

I had an experience yesterday

It wasn't like a big

Showstopper

Earth-changing experience

It was an experience and I just

I thought I might just talk to y'all about it

I'm still sort of processing

I had to run some errands yesterday

On the worst day of the year

To run errands

I had to go run some errands

And go pick some stuff up

In downtown Houston

Try like hell to avoid

World cup traffic

All that kind of stuff

Really wasn't too bad

Wasn't too many people

Most people I think out enjoying the holiday

Wasn't too many people on the freeway

Places I had to go weren't too crazy busy

But when I was making that drive

One of the easiest ways for me

To get on 59

Is to

Go off in downtown

On Commerce Street

Goes into downtown Houston from the east side

There's a little

Turnoff throws you right up on 59

North

It's the quickest way to get back to my house

From the area of town

There's an area down there

Underneath the overpasses

And everything for the 59

45 exchange

For years, years, years

Now everybody's called

That area Tent City

And Tent City

Is a very, very

Large population of homeless

And unhoused people

For a variety of reasons

You know

You see, I mean

You can see the fentanyl people down there

Going through what they're going through

You can see

But it's just a lot of people ain't got nowhere to go

And there's a

Scattern of tents

And various other things that they're using to live in

And there's a

There's a Catholic church

Right there in the area that runs

A shelter

And like food bank thing

And I only know that because I did a show

For them one Thanksgiving

I went over there and

For whatever reason while they were feeding

The

People who were going without

They thought it would be a good idea to do a comedy show

For them while they ate

And I think most of those people

Would have just preferred to eat their food

And go on with their day

But we did our best with it

I mean I got annoyed at that a bit

Because I was going on last

And every comic in front of me

Started making jokes about how they were just like them

Because they're broke too

I'm like these people aren't broke bro

These people are on

A whole different avenue of life

Your little jokes about being broke

And they were not flying

They were not flying

I didn't do none of that

I just talked to them about my family

And stuff because I know

Everybody got some family and everybody can laugh

At how crazy family they are

And we ended up having a good time

Although I did say the F word

In front of a painting of Jesus

And I've always deeply regretted that

The priest laughed

But then like immediately

Came back to himself

And I was like yeah yeah that's my bad bro

I didn't mean to

It just slipped out

It didn't turn around there's this huge painting of Jesus

And this priest tried not to laugh about it

And I was like ooh

I bet I don't get asked to come back

And do the charity show at the

I can't remember what that place called

That little Catholic center

Where they give away food and stuff like that

I drove through 10th city

I got stopped at Red Light there

Man it just messed with me

Everywhere I've been

Everybody was all excited

About the 4th of July

People out

You know what I mean

People just outspending money

On fireworks and beer and meat

And all that good stuff

That they could afford or whatever

The ones that could

There's this joyous celebratory mood

And pulling into that overpass

And seeing these folks that ain't got nothing

Everybody's out to celebrate this

250 year old experiment

Right

250 years of

You know United States

That

Doesn't always to me

Feel like it's going good

I have my concerns

Just as every other

Person who lives here does

My thoughts

Stuff like that

But

When you see these people

That things aren't working out for

And you know we tell ourselves

All kind of stuff but

And I'm not trying to

Look

I'm not trying to be sanctimonious

Enjoy your holiday

You should enjoy your holiday

People feel like we shouldn't

And people feel like

We

Whatever

Right

Enjoy your thing

People want their fireworks

And their celebrations and I don't blame them

Ain't a lot to look forward to

In the summer it's nice to have

This break to all get together

And have a good time

I had a few drinks myself last night

On the porch and watched the fireworks

Pop off over downtown Houston

And you know

That always feels me

With a variety of

Emotions

About being here and being in this country

What the experience has been

For me

Versus what the experience has been

For other people

It's often a day

I often think about my friends

Even though it's not Veterans Day

Or Memorial Day

But it's a day I think about my friends

Who have sacrificed

More than most of us

In the fight

To keep America

Free

I was looking at them people being

It just kind of broke

Something open in me

You know I'm not trying to be

Danny do-gooder but it broke

Something open in me

Watching them people just

Sit on them sidewalk and just walk around

And some of them are zoned out

Obviously under the influence of stuff

And

It's a complex

It's a complex problem

Not buying fireworks

And not celebrating Fourth of July

Is not going to solve this problem

But it was just

It was kind of witnessing the suffering

First hand

On a day built around

Abundance and settled something

But what it really was for me

And not so much like a grand

Picture of things of like oh this isn't

Right and this isn't justice that kind

What the real thread

For me was

Honestly it terrifies

It terrifies me to look at those folks

And count my own near misses

How easy

Could I be

In that situation

It's not as hard as you think

You know

I beat them pills and I beat them pills

But if I hadn't beat them pills

Would I ended up eventually losing my wife

And my kids

Would I ended up one of them folks

Sitting out there

On that sidewalk

Confused about how I got there

And so much pain

I didn't care anymore

If I hadn't been able to

Come back from

The grief of losing my own mother

There's people that

Grief consumes them

Takes them away

Grief can break you

Grief breaks people all the time

If I hadn't been able to come back

From that

If I hadn't had Rachel to bring me back

From that

It's a thousand other times in my life

It's not even the big ones

There was a period of time

I don't talk about a whole lot

Where I was homeless for a little bit

And living in

A record that I was driving

But you know also sleeping

In the shop and looking for

Places to crash

And you know

Grace of God

Some lucky breaks I got out of it

And some hard work too

But it ain't all just hard work

That's a

I think that's one of them soft lies

We tell it like oh it allows you work

I don't think that people living down there in Tent City

Got an easy life

I don't think that's a life of comfort

Regardless of every once in a while

Or somebody gives them some tents

Or a jacket when it's cold

I don't think it's an easy life

I don't think standing on the corner

With your hand out is an easy thing

I don't know what it would take

To get me to be able to do that

But I feel like it would take a lot

I mean really think about that yourself

Like what would it take to put you in that position

Where you didn't think

There was any other alternative

Than go stand on the street corner

And put your hand out and ask for help

Yeah there's drug addiction for sure

For sure

I don't know enough about the problem

Or enough about the statistics

To tell you what that is

But I know there's obviously

A high percentage of drug addiction

But I

I don't think

Anybody started

Drugs like boy I hope this is where it goes

Some of them drugs can take over your whole life

I also know there's

Big percentage of mental illness down there

And I have some understanding about that

I know Schizophrenia is very common

I have met a handful

Of homeless people in my life

I've known homeless people in my life

Because of either where I worked

Or where I lived at the time

And you see the same people all the time

And you know

You try to help them out

Throw them a couple bucks here and there

Ask them if they need anything

Most of them won't tell you

And I definitely know

Some of them are suffering from mental illness

And there's not much you can do

In that situation

You can't tell a grown person

How to get help

Especially with Schizophrenia

We have a Schizophrenia person

In our family

I know most

A good deal of the time Schizophrenia patients

Are homeless

The biggest danger they are to anybody

Is themselves

But they ain't all harmless

And I have personal experience

Of one who wasn't

And

And that's tucked into my brain

I'm wary

Around somebody exhibiting those signs

Because I've been around one who wasn't harmless

But I don't think being

I don't think it looks like an easy thing

You know, people are like, oh if you were lazy

Don't want to work, I don't

I think it's a little more than that

I can think

Of just

On two hands

Ten jobs that

Gotta be easier than staying on a street corner

Asking for money

Out in the heat and the weather

I hope when you make it back to shelter

In time to get a bed

I can take a lot of shit easier than that

Myself

I've had jobs

Myself that were easier than that

It's a complex problem

Don't doubt about it

There's nothing simple about it

But

When you do look around our country

Show me things that we've done right

There are a number of things

That we've done right as a country

And then somehow

We're letting this many people

Slip through the crack over here

And nobody can figure it out

But

All I could do was look back

At my own life

In the pattern of my own life

And see a thousand forks in the road

Where things could have went a different way

People talking

Somebody heard us going to San Diego

And they're like watch out for the fentanyl zombies

We got those

Two here in Houston

That's the one that really breaks my heart

Because as a person who's done drugs

There's generally been a motivator

For me to do drugs

One to have a good time

Two to escape pain

It's been one of the two most of the times

A few times out of boredom

But that's neither here nor there

But I ain't never want to

I ain't never want to take a drug

And make me fall asleep standing up

Take away my ability to control myself

Ability to control my bladder

Ability to control my bodily functions

I ain't never want to take a drug like that

People are like oh we gotta stop fentanyl on the board

Why don't we even disagree with that

I think you're 100% right

But I also

I think that problem's a lot deeper than that

I don't think it's just because it's available

I think we gotta figure out

Why somebody would want to do that themselves

We gotta find the trigger

That's causing that

And that's the tricky part

That's the hard part

You have to find

Why people are in so much pain

And why everything is so bad

For them

That they would take a drug

And make them fall asleep standing up

And urinate on themselves

Because by God

That's trying to get away from something unbearable

We gotta figure out

What it is people so eager to escape

That they'd be willing to die

For a few hours and nothing

And something that could be situational

100%

But by God

It's too big

It's too many of them

For it to all be

I believe that

And you might disagree with me

And that's alright

We're allowed to

But I just

I really

I sat there and

I looked at them people

And I was driving home

To my nice air conditioned home

That I complain about because it's old

And small

But it's comfortable

My little pickup truck

That I own

Come back to home

Where my kids are well or fed

And I'm eager

To pursue a living

Doing the things that bring me joy

And he's

Able to pursue a living

Bringing other people joy

What luck

Yeah it's been hard work

But what luck

Yeah

What luck did I have

That

None of those thousand times in my life

That could have went that way

Ended up like that

It was a lot

To pond and process

That's why I brought it y'all

I think we'll leave it right there for the day

I love you guys

Of course I always appreciate you sharing your Sunday with me

Let's do it

We got a new episode of

Do Wally Bottoms

Sorry I'm leaving it open

Ended on you

I just I don't have an answer for it

It's gonna take

It's gonna take somebody more brains

What I got straighten all this out

But I believe it can be fixed

I just I don't have the answer

Maybe we'll figure out in the next 50 years

The next hundred

I hope it's sooner than that

Let's return

To do Wally Bottoms Texas

Got the magic context

You said on the phone that you wanted to talk

But you ain't said much more than

Hi Mama since you've been here

Atlanta's eyes

Bored into the side of her son's head

He didn't speak

And she laughed inward at how much

Like his daddy he could be sometimes

Before she sighed

And took a drink from the iced tea

She fixed them before they sat down

On the same porch

She'd been sitting on since he was a

Toddler playing matchbox cars

In the dirt along the driveway

With Tony

He'd sat on this porch way

Healed from his wreck and she'd sat with him

The night she reached finally

Went he showed up from the hospital

At 2am and sat out here in the dark

Trying to make sense of things

She had let him be that night

Her words couldn't have been

No help to him and she

Focused herself on her 14 year old grandson

Who was sleeping in the guest room

And didn't know what tomorrow held

The iced tea was cool

On her throat as she swallowed

She wiped some of the condensation

Off with a napkin and listened

As the sweet gum ball fell

On the metal roof of the porch

It tumbled like a tin melody

From an earlier era before plopping

Into the muddy spot where the gutter

Run off into the azalea bed

She thought about Cherise

And her own daughter

She was a praying woman from

A long line of them

But some days she had to try harder

To believe that something was looking

Out for them all

Sometimes

When she sat on the pew

She had ugly thoughts

About God and why he took some

Of the ones he did and why he didn't

Take some of them that was no good at all

They left her feeling ashamed

Every time

I'm just so damned angry

Red's voice startled her

From her own thoughts and her green eyes

Met her sons

She didn't speak, just waited on

Carl Sr. started the same way

When something was getting to him

I don't even want to go back to that house

With all her stuff

I'm so damn mad at her

For leaving me here

Red drank from his glass

The ice cold condensation

Ran down the tilt of the glass

And splashed down his arm and started him

He jumped like he was coming out of his chair

Slammed the glass down on the table

What the- has it always been so damn hot here?

His expression was so comical

Elena couldn't hold back

She covered her mouth as she began laughing

And red in all his fury

Recognized his overreaction

Immediately and slumped back into his own chair

And laughed along with her

They laughed till tears ran from their eyes

And their similarly shaped cheeks

Glowed with a blush of capillaries

Filled with blood

She locked eyes with her firstborn

Before wretched across the table

Lay her garden in scarred hand

The cross is

Kiddo

You ain't mad at Cherise

You ain't mad at your son

And I know damn well you ain't mad at me

She pressed her hand down on his

I know mom

But I wanna be

I want- I want someone to be mad at

I want someone to blame

Elena smiled as she held the trembling hand down on the table

I know baby

I know

She thought about how angry

She had been when her daughter passed

And how old Carl Sr. had just let her

Put it on him

Because he could carry it

And knew she needed somewhere to put it

Baby maybe it's time to let her

Stuff go just for your own sake

Red rubbed his eyebrows

And she could see the age in his eyes

When he turned her

Tony'll be even angrier with me

If I haul his mama's stuff off

Elena smiled

Kiddo

Neither of you need a mausoleum

To remember her

I don't reckon it's doing either of you any good

To be tied to all that

Maybe just ask him if he wants

Anything

Your daddy set him and his buddy up

With that apartment at the shop

He thought he was gonna move me into

They both laughed again at that

After they were done she looked at him again

Said

The best thing you can do is just go talk to him

I get to feel he ain't all that

Interesting talking to me mama

And I don't even blame him honestly

Elena grin

I don't either

And don't give me that shocked look

He's just like you

Whether you can see it or not

Just as damn stubborn

I promise you

If you don't find a way to break through

And talk to your son without all these expectations

You put on him

You're gonna lose him

Red was stunned into silence

But everyone that knew Elena knew

She had a way of doing that

Tony could hear Dusty's braying

Before he got out of his pickup at the shop

The tail end of a 91 Cadillac

Broham stuck out the bay door

And his buddy was singing

An old Chuck Berry song at the top

Of his lugs between the occasional

Cursing

I want power steering lord

I want power brakes

I want a powerful motor with a jet off take

You rotten no good pieces

Okay now you gonna come loose

Tony laughed as he grabbed

The box of parts he had picked up

In town before walking into the bay

Dusty was pulling

The water pump out of the engine bay

And turned to him

Cordell my man

What the hell is a jet off take

Tony grin

I'm at a loss on that one

Maybe old Chuck like talking about cars

More than he did working on

Dusty I had the box

Did my rear main seal come in?

Yeah it's in there

Still can't believe we had to order that

I would have figured with all the old fords around here

At one of these parked houses would have had one

Dusty wiped his hands on a rag

And lightly kicked the front bumper of the broham

Jet off take

Sounds like something a Cadillac owner would ask for

They both laughed together

As the pickup pulled alongside Tony's

And parked

Dusty looked around the Cadillac hood

Cordell you know a tall fella driving

A blue jellybean for

Tony's face went blank

The earlier laughter seemed distant

Removed as he walked towards the bay door

That's my dad

Dusty watched the tall man

In the water moccasins ball cap

Approached the door and could see his friend

In the man's face

He was smiling towards him

But he looked nervous

You must be Dusty

My mother told me about you

I'm Carl

Red extended his hand as he approached

Just as Tony stepped around the doorway

Hey dad

Red stood awkwardly with his hand out

Before realizing it and shoving it down

By his side and turning to Tony

They sort of gave each other a very awkward

Half hug the kind you'd see at a company picnic

Before red said

Son

Dusty wiped his hands good and stepped toward

Hand shake extended

Sorry Mr. Haynes I had oil on my hands

Red grinned a little

And shook his hand I don't care about that

Good to meet you

Tony leaned against the wall

How long are you home for

Red looked back in the quarter

Towards Danny's old Ford with the tarp off

Of it in the hood up

A while this time

I'm going to work on

New project for a valve manufacturer

Across the river in Louisiana

It's a quick commute

If I need to go to the site

Look I don't want to burn up

Y'all's working daylight

But I'd like to talk to you about some stuff

At the house

Think y'all might want to come by after work

I'm going to go pick up some

Rib eyes and charcoal

Thought I'd cook for y'all

Tony's eyes flicked down

Before back to his dad

Sure

I don't know if Dusty has plans

But I ain't got nothing to do

Dusty piped up

Immediately I ain't never been wanting to

Turn down a free steak

Plus I'm exhausted from the new Wally

Nightlife

It was just enough to break the tension

Tony and his father chuckled before

Red stiffened some and turned towards the door

Well alright

I'm going to run over to Pigley

Wiggling grab him steaks and I see y'all lay

He hopped in that dark blue

Ford 4x4 Tony stood

Motionless and watched it back out

On the main before his dad waved

And accelerated back towards town

Dusty hated awkwardness

Well I'm glad that happened Cordell

I feel like things are going too smooth

Around here for my taste

Tony laughed

And come back to himself

Right

He started sorting the parts

He'd picked up on the table while Dusty

Resumed his efforts on the caddy

He wondered what kind of stuff

With the house his dad wanted to talk about

Tune in next week

For more from the Wally Bottoms, Texas

Episode 20

In the can

Where's it all going

Hell we don't know

I ain't sure I do either

Just kidding I didn't see any at all

Up here

I didn't see any at all

I'm going to do some testimonials

And wrap this thing up and get out of here for the day

I got to go clean the bathroom

Got to go do that kind of cleaning

The only do when you got company coming

Scrubbed toilet all that good shit

Let's see

Up here I got them right here

Oh excuse me

Well I said I had them up here it is

And

Our old buddy Gene Bond

Thanks for another great one J.W

I feel for you on the TSABS

I feel for them as well

They have a tough job

And I try to keep that in mind as I get hassled

Or held up either through a dumb ass move

I made or the idiot ahead of me

But it'd be too easy to blow my top

And get arrested that's just what we all need

Like you I'd rather drive

Six to eight hours somewhere

Than put up with all that crap at the airport

Luckily we are

Retired now and not near as big a hurry

To get our destination

We can sometimes take the opportunity

To check a few things out along the way

Like a few weeks ago we were on the way

To the east coast and the wife navigator

Found an interesting joint called

Hillbilly Hot Dogs

It was only half hour or so out of the way

So we went for it what a cool stop

Keep to faith brother we are all rooting

For you as well

Man you too Gene

I appreciate that

I don't want to do something stupid

Get my ass locked up in the airport

Get myself put on with no fly list

But

And normally I'm pretty cool

Normally I go through TSA

Even when I get stopped and groped

And all that crap and I don't get too worked up

About it

Normally I'm pretty cool

I think it was just the perfect storm

Last week everything was going on

With the pickup and the trip to Colorado

And I was just

I was just on the edge

Where I could keep everything inside

You know and

Oh I feel like an ass

I know I acted an ass but

I sure feel like one

And that's good

I should feel like an ass after I act like that

Make sure I don't do it again

That's a good thing

To stick with you

I hope you

And Gene

Keep finding crazy places to be as long as way

I do my best to

Find a little spot that's one of the things I'm going to do in San Diego

I'm going to go to San Diego Zoo

So all my life

I heard about the San Diego Zoo

And how magnificent it is

We got this pretty good old zoo

Right here in Houston, Texas

You know

I had to go see San Diego Zoo

See if they do any better

Because I really like turtles and elephants

So y'all better come hard with the turtles and elephants

Or I'm going to be disappointed

That donky dong

Dug

What a name brother

I'm right there with you brother

TSA stops me almost every time I go through

Hands they yell because I smashed a finger

Off in a workplace accident

You know who else loses fingers?

Bomb makers

I ain't never thought about that

That's crazy work

I don't remember how many times my dad

Yelled at me growing up

He spent 30 minutes teaching me how to rake hay

And then two weeks being mad at me

Because I didn't know I needed to skip a section

Because it was too wet

He spent 10 minutes teaching me how to mohe

But a month being pissed off

Because some old bailing twine got sucked up

On the PTO and was rubbing on the seal

All I got from it

Is that I need to be more patient with people

And like you said, I fail at that a lot

But at least I'm trying

That's all we can do

All we can do is keep working at it

I fail all the time

I tell you all the time

I ain't preaching to y'all, I'm preaching to me

I fail on the daily

I would lose track

If I tried to tell you all the time

I screwed up

If I

I fail on the daily

I had her buddy a Ikenroth farm

I know that my simmering rage

Burstly affected my older children

Growing up and I'm ashamed of it

I was never abusive

I was just angry at the world

I only had two emotions

Rage and suppressed rage

I feel my oldest

Even though they're close in age

My oldest saw a little more of that from me

Than Noah did

I can see it on Junies face

Sometimes when I get loud

I get hot and I get loud

I can see that kid get scared

And it bugs me

And I never

It's not anything directed

At my kid but

And though my kid remembers

The time when I was a little more unhinged

And those things happen more

On the regularly me losing my shit

And it is a

Shameful feeling

100%

And all I can do is keep working

Be better and make those things happen

Less and less

And I get better at it every day

Occasionally I listen to my own bullshit

Thanks for writing y'all

I appreciate all the testimonies

We wrap this thing up

And get out of here for the day

How about that?

I was thinking about all this stuff

But when I drove through

10th city yesterday

On the 4th of July

Folks all over

Were just spending millions of dollars

Across the country on fireworks

And beer to celebrate 250 years

This experiment we call America

And I'm sitting at a red light

Watching people who the experiment

Left behind and I don't

I didn't know what to do with that

I told you I ain't trying to ruin no one's

Holiday with sanctimonious wine

And I want folks to celebrate

And enjoy the holiday and I know everyone's

Got their own problems most of the time

We can't even see

But I couldn't get it out of my head

Because I sat at that red light

And I started doing the math of my own life

And that damn math

Got uncomfortable real fast

You know? Same things I asked

What if I couldn't have gotten off the pills

What if the grief from losing my mother

Had taken me all the way down

Instead of just most of the way

What if one of about a thousand other

Moments in my life had gone

Two degrees in a different direction

What if the needle had gone

astray just a few more times than it did

I'm making okay living

Making people laugh

Bringing joy

I own a couple used vehicles

Most of my bills get paid on time

And we got some comfort

I sat there at that red light

Genuinely asking myself

Why me and not them

The comfortable answer is

They did everything wrong

And I did enough things right

And that's the whole story

That is a real easy thing to tell yourself

When you're on the right side of the glass

But I know it's a lie

And I think most

Y'all do too

We get far enough out

To see the whole tapestry

Of your own life

You start to notice all the places the needle

Almost went astray

All the pools and the snags and the moments

Where the whole thing could have come apart

And somehow

Didn't

And the pattern you ended up with

The one you're living in right now

It ain't just the product

Of your choices

It's the product of your choices

And your grace and your luck

And probably three or four people

Who showed up at the exact right moment

Pulled you back from something

You don't even fully remember now

A lot of them folks

In that homeless encampment

Got dealt a lot worse cards than I did

Stuff a lot of us might not

Make it back from

I don't have no big solution

It's a complex issue

That'll take someone smarter than me to solve

But I'll say this

Don't look out your window at the people

The experiment left behind

Congratulate yourself on your good choices

Take a hard look at your own tapestry instead

Really look at it

Find the places that almost come apart

And then

Ask yourself

Is it easier to decide they did everything wrong

And pretend that couldn't happen to me

Or can I honestly

Look at my own life

And see a thousand moments

The needle could have gone astray

I think I already know your answer

Mainly because you're the kind of people

Who show up here

I want you to enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend

Try to keep your digits attached to the hands

They came with

I'm rooting for you

And the needle

That's threading your tail

I always will

I'm J.W.

And I love you

Whoo!

It's getting hot out here

Well the temperature

Ain't jumped much like the bomber

But boy the humidity in this shop

Has jumped up in here

I feel like I am swimming in ball

Soup over here

Oh my goodness

Oh you guys wish me luck in SoCal

If you're in SoCal

I'd love to meet you

I'd get out to one of them shows

Can't get out to one of them shows

I understand things are tight

Everybody's having a rough go right now

Having people all the time

Why are you doing shows on Sunday?

Why are you doing shows on Tuesday and Wednesday

Because these are the shows I can get right now

Big famous people get the weekends

I ain't the big famous people

So like I gotta figure out

How to sell these shows on off nights

And I gotta get these ticket numbers up

So

It's already the shows

Further on down the list

Or asking questions about ticket sales

And they need to see good numbers

You know

I want this whole thing to fall apart on me

Before I even get started

And some of that's probably just my anxiety

Talking

I think it's gonna be a good day today

I'm gonna go in there

Scrub that bathroom

Maybe knock out the dishes

I know mom's got some laundry to do

Try to get everything fixed up

For my sister to be here for

A few days with the kids

Which I'm real nervous about

Not because of my sister

But just because

I have a hard time trusting my kids

In a situation where me and mom ain't there

You know

My youngest would

All the things different

Hope you guys get

Around the obstacles in your life

I'm gonna try to take this

Thing on the road

I'm taking my camera everything with me

I'm gonna try to film next week

I'm probably gonna have to film in the hotel room

One of the things I really run into a lot though

The hardest thing about doing this on the road

Is getting the video uploaded

Finding somewhere good enough wi-fi

That I can get the video uploaded

That's one of the things I really struggle with

On the road

We'll see how it goes

It might have to be a shorter episode

Just for the sake of being able to upload it

But I can't wait

I'm excited about all the things going on

So I can't wait to talk to you guys

About Smoke and Tire Podcast

And Gabriel's

I think my good buddy Vinny

Is gonna take me

For a ride in his

1966 Cadillac

And

This thing is gorgeous

It is

Just beautiful

There's not a flaw in it

And

I'm looking forward to that

Go ride around that old Cadillac

Right around Hollywood and Cadillac

I feel like something knocked

Off the bucket list I reckon

If you guys ain't got any good ideas

About how to get fast wi-fi

On the road

Or help me with the uploading

I'm eager to hear them because I know so many of you

Are so much more knowledgeable than I am

About various subjects

I always appreciate your input

Y'all have helped me out a great deal

On the avalanche

Figuring out that charcoal canister issue

Was a separate mechanical issue

That

You guys

You steered me right

Y'all be safety

I'll see you next time

Gabriel Iglesias

Volkswagen

Volkswagen Tiguan

rear main seal

Ford Edge

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