C.R.E.A.M. #74 - Ben's ULEZ Fines, Toll Booths and Richard Porter's Song

You will have 40 days of locusts and rain.

That's what I'll have.

And then I got home from my trip, had a lovely weekend and I had a few letters.

Turns out it was from Bristol City Council.

Hello and welcome back to the CREAM podcast, the 74th Cars Rule Everything Around You podcast.

Now, at the beginning of, I haven't introduced everybody in case you don't know who we are.

I'm Will, that's Edwin and then Ben is in front and behind the camera over there.

Now, at the beginning of this podcast, we ask ourselves, do cars rule

or ruin everything around us this week?

Edwin, would you like to start us off?

I'm in big time rule.

I'm happy, I'm excited.

Ben, this is how I do this every time.

This video on the Clio is not out yet.

It will be out tomorrow, won't it?

It will.

I'm going to speak because you're not speaking.

Next is a podcast.

Oh, the second channel one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks, Ben.

You will see tomorrow just why it's such a rule, but my little Clio is back.

It made great power on the dyno, like really good power on the dyno

and survived a 300 mile home with quite a lot of kicking its head in.

So overall, I even, I went to an auction up in Liverpool where I was getting the car from.

Shout out, John at Cormorant Most Sport.

We fixed the whole car, went to an auction, lost out on a car.

I'm not telling you what car it is yet because I'm bidding on another one in a week or two.

I don't want to spoil it because one of you bastards will go and try and bid on it.

I don't want you to, but it's a rule for me.

We did double Renault's to lunch the other day.

It was actually great.

We were about to take the ML and Edwin said,

should we take both the Renaults?

And you know, we drove normally, completely normally.

There was no wheel spin.

There was no smoke.

And more importantly, no evidence.

No, exactly.

Oh, there was.

Meanwhile, Patrick, the social media guy's Instagram.

But you know, you know what it was, it was a taste of summer.

Yeah, it was.

It was a taste of what's to come.

But so for me, it's a rule.

That's a rule.

I'm on the fence here because I'm facing at eggs extent.

Existential threat to my life that that's appearing in the next sort of month or so.

But I don't, I'm not going to talk about what car it is, but it's large.

And so basically there's a car coming up for auction next month that I need to sell my life for.

But I don't have a, I don't have, I don't have the number plate.

It's coming up for auction.

So there's like not a lot of info.

They don't get info until they see the car or have it nearby, blah, blah, blah.

Or they get it from the then door.

So I have no number plate, but I did have a VIN number,

which is great because this episode is sponsored by CarVertical once again.

And because I had the VIN, I didn't need the number plate.

I could put the VIN into CarVertical and then find out about that car.

So despite the fact that the ad currently says nothing, it just says this is a car.

Car.

This is car for sale.

And it's the car you'd want.

But I thought, let me have a look at the CarVertical.

And it brought up some things that were interesting.

Not only that, it also brought up some photos from a previous auction, which was really good.

Because then I could try and find those photos online.

And then I found the previous auction again online.

So I found out more information.

So I'm ahead of the curve on this car.

I'm confident on it.

But again, massive, massive thank you to CarVertical because again,

you don't really get that with many other services where you can just give them the VIN

and they'll give you all of that information.

Yeah, usually it's the number plate.

Any time that you guys are buying a car, van, motorbike, any of the above,

make sure that you're on a CarVertical.

Don't leave any stone unturned.

Is there tagline for a good reason?

Because we have nearly been bitten on many cars before and they saved us.

Use code CREAM for 20% off your next CarVertical report.

And you can bundle them together, get up to 50% off a load of reports.

If you know, you're going to be doing multiple throughout the year.

Shout out CarVertical.

Big up CarVertical.

But yeah, I'm on the fence, but I think I'm going to go with the rule because

just because it is a positive thing, it's not a bad thing.

I have known Will.

Ben, you've known Will for a good amount of time.

I've known Will for an extremely long amount of time.

Brackets, we're getting old.

I've never seen you like this about CarVertical.

There again, I don't mean there are going to be guesses.

Yeah, people are going to know.

We talk about it a lot, but you talked about getting rid of everything

and going to like a thousand pound daily run around just to facilitate this.

It's a bad idea.

Like there is nothing else other than the fact that I want it and I've needed it

since I was a very small boy.

Everything else says, why are you doing that now?

You can't do that now.

But it feels like this is the last chance.

It's a McLaren F1, by the way.

Like the cream's doing really well.

Like super well.

Like we've stopped paying Ben, the lights are on.

That's why we can afford it.

Ben went down on miscommissioned a little bit.

But I'll say rule.

I'll say rule.

It's annoying because I've now put everything on hold.

Everything I plan to do on any car.

I've said nothing more must happen.

Everything must remain.

Everything that's working must stay working.

So it's exciting times.

It could be very exciting times or really you there could be some ruins on this.

It will be a year of ruins.

You know, like some sort of some sort of religious thing.

They'll be like a Bible where they go.

You will have 40 days of locusts and rain.

That's what I'll have.

It's like a Chinese New Year but negative.

Benjamin.

Ruin.

Oh, okay.

Right.

And it wasn't the start of the day.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

Bae, do you know what?

A new saga of Ben begins.

Now, can I just preface this?

It was a big rule.

Yeah.

I bought on eBay a door handle.

Okay.

For a car roll.

Congrats.

Congratulations for absolutely no reason.

I bought a door handle to fix my...

Door handle.

Previously mentioned issue where my car would beep at me because it didn't know.

What is the, what am I trying to say?

Keyless entry wasn't working on my car and it was getting upset every time I drove it.

And that went smoothly fixing that new door handle.

Once I had the right tool.

Well, I wouldn't, yeah, because Ben got very huffy and puffy.

Because it was meant to be easy.

Ben asked for a tool that simply doesn't exist.

Ben literally said, he said,

where do we have one of these 90 degree pick tools?

But it's nowhere near this long.

I said, Ben, that tool doesn't exist.

He went, look, this guy has it on a video and he showed me a specific Mercedes tool

that is not in stock on any site anywhere.

Well, anyway, I found the handle for £55 on eBay,

thinking it was black, but it didn't know if it was the same black as my car.

So I thought, I'll get it repainted.

What's the name of that black?

Uh, I don't know.

See, that's how...

Ben, you got, you got to start getting on.

It's a metallicy pearlescent black that's on GTD.

Is it LC9Z?

Perhaps a fellow nerd creamer could let us know.

I don't know.

I didn't even check because I didn't get out far.

I was like, it came and...

And the door handle.

And it was the exact same color as a car.

So first win there.

Was you surprised by that?

Did you not know what a color it would be beforehand?

I thought it would be black, but like it wouldn't quite match.

It was a flat black or a...

A golf door handle mystery box.

Comes out as rare.

The reason I asked you which black it was,

is because I would assume you would have found out in the process of ordering this.

No, because I was going to get...

They were either all like...

All the ones for sale I could find were like blue or white.

Didn't match to one.

There was one black one.

And I just thought it might match when it gets here.

And if it doesn't match, I'll get repainted.

So fine.

Because I have said it anyway.

And if I bought one brand new from VW, I would have had to get a painted anyway.

So cool.

Got here.

Changed it, which just took a while, but it was fine.

Plugged it in, it works.

Lovely.

I have keyless entry again.

All the more for the thieves.

I don't have keyless entry.

So that was great.

And then this weekend, I drove the car about 11 or 12 hours round trip up to North Yorkshire.

Shout out to Yorkshire Creamers.

Hell yeah.

Or the Creamers, they probably could have said.

The Creamers.

Yeah, Creamers.

That was nice.

And it just flawlessly up there.

And then I got home and I received letter.

So there's now no more possibilities for the car to cause ruin.

That's all fixed.

Well, no, it's all levels.

All level sensors still pinging in and it needs a fix.

But dry boot.

Boot is bone dry.

Lovely.

Love to see that.

So we're on for a rule.

We're on for a rule.

And then I got home from my trip, had a lovely weekend and I had a few letters.

Okay.

I thought always nice to get in contact.

I thought maybe it's my bank messaging me saying,

Hello, I am your bank.

Hello, we are your bank.

That's the one.

Classic meme.

We wasn't expecting that one.

Turns out it was from Bristol City Council.

What do they want to say?

They said collab.

Well, it's a joy.

It's our second collab.

We're back.

It's a part two.

I have received upwards of, well, I haven't received them all yet.

I have four, but there's going to be more.

You less fines.

That's weird.

Usually the sequel's not as good.

No, this one's looking to be a real blockbuster.

You know what?

There might end up being a trilogy.

This is a good one.

I've been and with the F2000 when this happened.

So can you do five, 10 seconds later?

We have new folk.

Don't wait.

I have an S2000.

That S2000 is not Eulez compliant.

I did not know that.

I drove it into the Bristol Eulez zone multiple times.

I got my lots of fines.

And the Eulez zone in the UK is a zone where your car has to meet a certain,

I was about to say calorific content.

Well, my brain's not doing well tonight.

Carbon, not monoxide or dioxide level to be able to go in without paying.

If it's not up that threshold, you have to pay every time you go in.

Lovely.

And if you don't pay within seven days,

basically they charge you £120 plus the £9 fee, so £129.

But if you pay it within two weeks, it's half price, £69.

Oh, that's a deal.

£60, sorry.

The finest half price you've got to pay at Eulez on top.

So fine.

I have received on the S2000, I think total was seven in the end.

So you got in contact.

And you know what?

Sorted out.

That was kind of fair.

But I found a little bit of a loophole here where because the car wasn't approved at a certain level,

it didn't meet the regulation.

But actually, when you get into the final scientific little emissions, it did.

So they said, cool, not a problem.

The gulf is from factory, a Euro 6 vehicle.

Therefore, all that means is that it can go in the zone.

Always.

There's no reason to not.

There's no question about it.

No, everyone knows.

Everyone knows.

That car's fine.

Like no one could even argue that.

No, I couldn't argue it, even if I'm struggling.

So I received PCNs and I thought that's a bit odd,

but that's fine because it's a Eulez car.

So I got on my computer and I went, I ticked the box on the appeal thing that said,

this does not apply to the vehicle.

I put a little message saying, what?

And left it there.

Anyway, every single day I've got home from work or I've got home from wherever.

And I've had another letter.

So just every damn getting a letter.

And you started getting cocky about it because you said to us this morning,

yeah, I'm just driving through Eulez zones back and forth now because I know I don't care.

I received like seven fines.

That was across maybe a month.

I went in seven times.

Since I had the golf, I have been mashing my way through that town.

I've been looking at houses.

I've been driving their loads.

I'd be crazy.

But as in I'd be quick, quick flex, Ben.

No, as in like, I've been, I've been,

there've been reasons why I've been needing to go into the real estate, Ben.

I might buy that tower block.

Yeah.

And I won't even pay my Eulez fine.

Do you know what?

I bet you, I bet you parked at a double.

You know, it says rich people parking.

40 quid.

Is that it?

That's a, you know, I might buy the Eulez though.

No, I've just been, I've just been going in for a lot of reasons into the Eulez though.

More than I normally would.

Anyway, I've got many fines.

There's going to be, I'm guessing minimum 20.

So the issue here is that your car was fine because you drove it in at the beginning.

So when I first got it, my original plate, I drove it in and I came back out and it's fine.

I haven't received the fine at all on the original plate.

People doing the hokey-cokey.

That's the one they turn around as I don't know.

And it was fine.

And then when I changed the plate, I've been told by the people at the Eulez

because I've been in contact with them quite.

You spoke to Eulez.

You are basically mates with those guys.

Oh yeah, it's also, I believe it's the same man each time.

Apparently there's an issue in their system.

But when you change your plate and you change your plate, the system goes,

who's this?

I've never seen that car in my life.

I've never seen you before before.

You're paying for it.

Stop.

You're violating the law.

So I explained that.

And on top of that, just to make it even more concrete, I did what I did with the S2000

and I put in a photo of my registration as of like my V5 with the emissions number and said,

just letting you know as well.

Did you put a photo of you smiling?

This is who you are.

This is who you're upsetting, by the way.

It's important to know who you're dealing with.

And do you know what?

Today we were working on yellow and, George, would you like to explain what happened?

Well, again, Ben went, oh, here we go.

Again, quite cocky.

He went, oh, they've got back to me.

Here we go.

I'm going to get, and Ben was, I could see Ben was saying up for the,

yeah, yeah, no, there you go.

We admit your thing.

Shall I read what they said?

And then, well, I don't have the verbatim, but Ben went,

here we, what?

No, there was a lot of swearing.

I saw in big letters on my phone, notice of rejection of representation to which I went,

and there were four of them in a row.

So that was good.

And the thing that made it even worse is that when I tried to appeal the S2000,

it took like a month for them to get back to me.

It's been four days.

See, now this is what you said earlier that you got,

you got this little loophole in the S2000.

But I was like, that's why they're doing it.

They know it's you and they're going, we're going to get him now.

Now, Ben, would you like to know something?

I wrote down what you were saying on this one too.

Oh, that's me good.

Yeah.

Now, lots of it I really can't say.

Like, I can't tell.

There was, there was a lot of abuse.

It's just, it's a who to the people involved to,

to the town of Bristol, to the council.

Yeah, but not to, sorry, not to specific.

I didn't call anyone and shout on the phone.

You said you said you threatened to kill them all at some point.

Yeah, there was, there was a threat of murder.

I'll leave those ones out.

Deck, you're going to have to bleep some of these because they're better with the swearing.

You know what?

I was, I was really, this, this feels like they're in order.

This feels like the, the stages of denial.

What is it?

The stages of grief.

First one being denial.

Oh, that's a tough one.

Oh, no, that's a tough one.

No, that's not, no, that's not happening.

So denial.

Then we move into.

So that one, please, please, please beat that.

That's, that's our, that's anger.

That was a bit annoyed then.

Then we're moving into my favorite one by far.

I'm about to write.

And I did, and I did.

And then this was you, this was you.

This is bargaining.

I think this is, which is where you were talking about.

You, you had, you'd made such an eloquent argument.

You weren't sure.

You said, how can you not accept that?

That was a good argument.

It was a good argument.

And then we're round to get out with, I'll go to court

and then it may be a five second silence.

And then I won't argue myself, but I'll go show up and watch.

No, so they got back and said, they basically said to me

that it was what I provided them was not enough evidence,

which is interesting because it was all of the information

you would need to know that your car is in fact, you less.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's a weird one.

It is nice.

And they said to me, so very briefly,

there's two ways you can go at this.

You pay the fine or you go to jail.

It's a bit longer than complicated, but basically on the S2000,

what I did was I contacted the local clean air zone people and said,

here's a photo of my mission's data.

It's below the threshold.

And they went, not a problem with the what?

What, with what document?

My V five.

Oh no. No, you had your cock out.

Oh my God. I received my cock, but I never actually to use it.

Oh, sorry.

My cock is actually on my desk at home.

Don't leave it there mate.

My certificate of conformity.

Oh that's why you said that earlier.

I thought you were just being an idiot.

Oh no, no, no, no my actual.

Okay, there is actual...

They call it a COC, a cock.

Oh right.

So they say you think you can really rifle.

But I'll get to that.

Send us your cock.

We might let you through.

I'll get to that.

Because I have to,

I've got to get another cock.

So it's anyway.

Are you going to have another one?

Yep.

So basically...

Never have enough.

Basically, that's the first thing they do,

And they will then take your plate and they'll go this plate is you less compliant when it drives

So zone the camera looks it and it goes cool. You can go in now that is good because it means that imminent

It happens much quicker

However, if I was to ever take the plate off it would then become not you less anymore the car itself is not you less

It's just it is while it's on that place like insurance. It follows you not the car. They're sure. Yeah

the thing they recommend you do which is much more long-winded is you contact the DVLA the the the car gods of

Responsibility and

They and they basically will take your car itself the by VIN number by forever and they'll and they'll go in the system

They'll go this guy is Euro six is clean. He's clean let him throw that he's with me

Lemon I'll pad him down. He's you miss the best part of this. What's that? Is that in their response to you?

They said you can get the DVLA to tell us this you can tell as long as they tell us that the cars fine

Now the DVLA takes four to six weeks minimum to that. Yeah, but they've said to you've got how long

It's 14 days

Otherwise, I'm liable to all of the charges. So you have an ultimatum. So basically with that but then so I've

Wider last time was I contacted the cars people. I said it guys

Here's the situation within 12 hours. They go back to me went car is you less the the the war room went into Reddler

They went we've got a live one car as you let's I then submitted that email to

As an appeal and then the got the council went cool all good mate will cancel them so easy this time

I did that again except for they haven't responded and they won't

So because of that, I'm now going to blue tix

Not this guy. So I call with the delay and I said hey man, you've got my car on file

It's a Euro six vehicle. Can you just update it? And he said, you're not a problem

All you must do is contact the VW HQ. Okay, please receive a cock

You keep being sent further up. Yeah up the line. This feels like a side quest in a game

Yeah, if you can go get these tomatoes for me, I'll give you this burn arrow

You're in one of those like calamitous movies where like it feels like that's the solution

And they go right all you got to do is go to VW and then you go to VW and then be VW's been nuked

Yeah, or something and it's like now you've got to go on a quest Ben's Ben's in the rat race

So what we'll say is that everyone but I spoke to was actually

helpful and nice but not

Not very useful. Yeah, not very useful. Well, he said to me he went all you got to do bearing might have 14 days to

Yeah, they want some sort of response to take it further 24 hours to respond

And the best part of that is that if you don't respond you can take it one level up, which is to a

Independent supreme court basically of cars. Yeah, it's a tribunal for for like traffic and stuff and they'll look at independent

I'll do they'll do their own investigation

But if you lose that you're liable to the full amount on every charge

Which which realistically at this point is going to be two to three thousand pounds

I reckon I would say well if it's 20 of them at 130 pounds you do the math so I can't okay, so

That's tough one. Yeah, and also it's a Euro six car. So that's great

So then so what you do is they say go to a VW get a cock

Of course, good conformity. It's the official document that says this is all of the stuff

We did when we molligate the car when it was new and then you and it proves it

Then when that comes in the post in the post

Take that and your v5 your documentation of ownership put that together and then write a letter also print that out

But we'll throw those documents together and then post it to Swansea. Can you do can you do it on one of the scrolls?

Written in the same way they did seal it and they probably want it by carrier pigeon

But they want they said cool all you got to do is just physically post that to us

In the big 2026 and then we'll take four to six weeks

And then after that we'll put it where they have to deliberate. They're gonna sit there going. Yeah. Yeah

It must go to the council. Is it is it or is it not? I think it nah

Yeah, so I imagine it's like, you know

And it's sort of like medieval tv show or movie and the king or the sort of mayor of the town that sits on his chair

And then the villagers just arrive and go. I would like more sheep and he goes. Ah, I don't think you need more sheep

And then it's like that. There's just a queue of people and they go

Is he is he you less except I think he's you let's send him away except the equivalent is ben's walked into the castle and they've gone

All right nine quid

No, no, no, I don't know. I'm a prince. No, I'm allowed. I live this is my house and they go

Nah, two grand now. I will say joke side. It is bullshit. It's anything to give you a really

Why are some dvla things they go?

I know like this isn't just related to dvla other bits

But even this is basically government and council stuff some things are like, oh, just just do that online right and we'll do it instantly

Oh, sorry the other things go. Oh, oh, you need like a new v5

Uh, no months. No, no, but you you can do it online

But 7 a.m to 7 p.m. Yeah, because the computer needs his time off. Yeah, he can't work in the night

You know computers have rights the the thing that really that actually really got me was that they said to me

They said to me the fines those were the ones that said they really got to me

No, the what really got to me was the fact that okay, so the issue we have here is it's your system

You put a new plate on the car and it's confused your system

So they told me they went well, we've looked at it and on the system

It's telling us your car is not you less and I'm going to them. Well, yes because your system is not working

You can't go systems not working. So I've checked the system and the system's not working

Do you know what it is man?

He says no literally what they said to me and I said to him on the phone

I said so you want me to get a certificate of conformity from Germany

He must post it from Germany from factory in German by the way, I haven't even mentioned that it will come in German

I've been told um

And you what which will just tell you the same thing my v5 literally says and the v5 isn't fake

I'm not written on it. It came from factory like then. It's not proof of ownership neither is it proof of the fact that it's you

That's fantastic. So and and what makes it even worse is the fact the s2000

Let well admit it's a bit cheeky because s2000 was it was a euro3 car and I made a mistake with that

Well, I I thought it was you as I was wrong

But turns out by a loophole in the emissions. It was actually come on. Yeah

No, but the difference for how cocky you were the difference being here is that all I've done is buy my car and drive my car

Into the you

Icarus

Yeah, blueway

You know what oil level too close to the sun your wings your wings just just melting away and then you've plummeted to the earth

So overall that 2000 pound of fines. It's a really it's a big ruin and um, it could be a tough one

Well, I think in the coming weeks

We'll be hearing more about ben's trials and tribulations as he battles his way through the actual court system of the

Would you would you like a positive note for the next section next next next next speak speaking? Sure

Linglong

Linglong are so up

How many messages of people do you think I'd say I got at least a hundred now

Do you know what the funny thing is?

So

Linglong if you don't know Linglong one of our bullshit tie brands one of the og the actually v og in the game

Yes, when it comes to bullshit tie brands

Um

Have had a tire that has out it outperformed everyone else

But all of those all of this this news comes from a friend of us from mr. John Benson from tire reviews

So we actually saw this info like when it came out like he posted the reel and we saw it

And then over the next two weeks people just kept going. Have you seen this?

She's the Linglong on out the kings of everything so I didn't read into the um

I did sort the sort of the guts of it if you like but I saw that the Linglong

Something something something whatever the tire is. I don't know has outperformed

Michelin's many other premium tires in was it just like grip or something

I believe it was dry and wet grip, but then it has salted elsewhere

Yes in in in really spectacular fashion everywhere else

So from what I remember it was it was the first in dry grip and like second or third in in wet grip

Then it was by far the worst in life. So it lasted like 16,000 miles like Ben. Yeah

16,000 miles when the like good year or something lasted 35

Meaning and they're not half they're

Less than half. Sorry. They're more than half as expensive. So you could still buy

If you bought two sets of Linglongs, you'd be worse off than one set of good years

So not great there. They were the loudest in noise

And then I think they were the last in stopping distance or something

Sorry, there was some other thing where they were the worst but they've improved one element of it

Like a headline element. You know what everyone's gonna notice and they go. Oh, yeah, by the way

They don't last very long and they're noisy. It's a it's in a game. They've put all of their points into chrisman

So so they can talk their way to anything when it comes to handhand combat. They're out. They are out

I'm getting killed by like a but by like a level one. Yeah

It's stealth

Whack, then if you were a tire like a tire like a specific tire, what would you be like realistically what brand?

I would probably be a nang kang, but I would be a you know, that's so narcissistic

I think you think

No, are you saying like a nang kang but like a um, I know what an s20 was it the s20 is the robot?

And you already know what you are

You're a fleaver

You're fine. I I love flea. You are a Yokohama fleaver. I like a Yokohama advent fleaver. I am. I'm a mooch o macho or I'm a triangle

What are you? Oh, here we go. Wait wait. I'm on mission. I'm a

I'm a cup two. Yeah cup two. Yeah. No, no, no, because he'll try and he'll try and think he's a bit more humble by saying

I'm a pierce thrice. Yeah. No, not up his form. PSS five. What a pierce four

Like one of the sort of like all season ones. Okay. Yeah, I'm like I'm kind of I'm good for like all you know

I can do winter. I can do summer. You're Michelin cross climate. I'm a cross climate also

For people who aren't nerds listen to this. Why do you know so many tires? I was going to say union royal

Oh, it's sort of like if you know

That's actually kind of good, but I'm sort of biased to like wet weather on like first impression. You've been like, what does that mean?

What does that mean?

I don't know what that means great in the shower

Fantastic in a bath

Let us know what sort of tires you think you are guys

Alan Partridge radio right now

I like the bins of flea. It just makes sense. I like a flea is a better tire than what you are a union royal. Yeah fair

Um, what else we got? Oh, this is one from you Ben big boys are now for sale in the UK

I heard about this if anybody would like a big boy in the UK. What does that mean? So well, here's one

Um, big boys. I big American cars. Yes, you got you're talking your escalates your escalates

Yeah, well, where did that word come from?

It's a mixture of the word escalator and escalate if you want your Cadillac escalate the big boy or other ones

I can't remember what other ones there are what like a Tahoe like a we're talking hummer like Evie hummers. No

So but then what do you mean? Because what why you can already do you can already do that?

No, because they're coming with um actual manufacturer guarantees and stuff in this country

So but then but they're not provided by so I don't know the answer a great import

I think no, they're sold by dealers

As a left hand drive car

Yes, we have here. Is that not a great input? We have yeah

So we have a Cadillac escalate escalate. Yes for you don't want to escalate the the big boy that guy

GMC Yukon Sierra 1500 Chevrolet Tahoe suburban Silverado and obviously

They're going to be expensive. But yeah, basically they're going to come with a

From the manufacturer with UK homologation warranty financing after sales all that

But they're still left on drive. Yeah, they're not like it's not a UK spec vehicle. I think you're right

I think that is then I think it was great important. Yeah, but it's from the manufacturer

Yeah, but that's like lots of you those and stuff were great imports where they were

They were a Japanese car, but there's a company in the in this country that will go

I am Mitsubishi, but I'm going to convert them for you not convert them

But you know make them they will meet all of them because when you when you're doing a private import yourself

You don't technically need to abide by all of the same things a manufacturer would in terms of like

Preparing it for sale if that makes sense or selling it to a customer

Whereas if you're just importing it yourself, you just need to get it through an MOT get it get your

what do you call it your

Like import fees and all that sort of stuff done and off you go

Whereas a dealer will now go through they'll do all checking all the lights are done all that sort of stuff

That's why so many Japanese imports in this country like even well, whether it's been done personally author or company

Have that chunky rear fog light. Yeah rectangle drilled into the rear bumper back. That's interesting. I can't

Think of many people who will be doing that. Yeah, I think it was right hand drive and they were priced like

Somewhat barely you think, you know what like SUVs of of a different variety that sort of mildly luxury

I don't know you know might be of interest, but they're just so very large

Yeah, this blade v is actually too big for the UK. I don't see what like the the issue is okay in America

It makes sense. You have a a big engine in the cheaper like a Tahoe

Sierra all that sort of stuff that's cheaper than going out and buying a Range Rover

But we're in the UK

We have the ability you have the ability to go and buy a Range Rover for cheaper than that escalade probably not even a v

Is going to cost you

So why yeah, that's what I mean. What do you get out of doing that? But they get warranty though. Yeah

Me more Range Rover. So when it gets stolen, you can have another one. Yeah, but you got like a warranty

So, um, does that cover the immense fuel bill? No, no, no, it doesn't do that

Does it cover the fact that I'm on the wrong side of the car? No

We'd like to guess how much escalade v is oh, I'm gonna say in the UK landed. Yeah. Uh, 100

Pounds 160,000 pounds. I was going to say 170

199

200,000 pounds that's 66 grand for a base Silverado

Also for a car that is going to be worth 11 pounds in like six years

Like they'd appreciate like nothing we buy one for the channel and we make you a thousand horsepower. You grew fine

Fine by me. You know what? I did see the other day when I drove back from Liverpool a

I know it is a gmt 800 which is the platform name

Well, you will know it as a 90s looking

Imagine the car the fbi car from a 90s american film

black

GMC Yukon Tahoe thing just towing

Something and I did think I was like that's kind of cool

Something about that makes me a gmt 800

That's something cool about that. I saw it was that not I didn't see it in person

But I saw an auction a car that sold at auction here in the UK a a gmc cyclone

man

No, I noticed cool because they were very they were like not 16 4.3 seconds in the 90s or whatever is whenever they came out

But it's a pickup truck. It's four-wheel drive and it has a six cylinder. Yeah, so the four liter or 4.3

So you've got the cyclone, which is the pickup truck and then the typhoon, which is the

SUV thing

Which is I think is based on a on a c10 or an s10 pickup

But this was I mean, I again, I always thought the cyclone I'm thinking of it from games

That that's all I've ever seen that sort of car is in games

But I thought maybe that's worth a bit of money because it's quite an interesting car

It's sold for 21 grand in the UK

Which is funny because I think in in America those cars are worth more

There are there are

Like a low mileage one is worth is a collectors thing now, but I I once saw a

Typhoon so the the wagon you call it an SUV

On the roads and I remember thinking that whoever that dude is that's cool. Yeah having that in the UK

A bit of a couple mods on that

I'd like that because I looked at 21's a lot. It's like double what obviously our ml has cost but down the line having a little

Toca that's a that's a that's a what's it called a cyclone. We bloody cool. Yeah, it'd be very cool

But anything cool anything cool that's American like that

Instantly becomes quite tragic to look at in the UK. Yeah, it really does. What it is even there are certain ones that I think even like

On the 60s Mustang. I think it's cool. They're the mint like they're the the most you can get away with

But even the one we had the the one we had

The 350 reptiles which was fantastic. I really liked it. It just doesn't work here

I don't I don't I can't I have a massive soft spot for

The 90s Chevrolet and parlor ss mainly from midnight club two packs back two packs back this

Now in America, that's cool or like a grand marquee. Uh, sorry mercury marauder, which is a crown vic

But just like now

That's cool in America. If you're rolling around the map, that's cool. Yeah here. You're a wrong. Yeah

There's big airs of wrong about you

It's it's don't don't don't dodge people. You can't do that. I can you can and I will I can smell the interior of that car

Um, you can smell it. Yeah, that's fair. You can from a mile away hot smelling. Yeah hot smelling engine

There is a leather. Yeah leather, but it's not but you something's off about it. Yeah

It's like it's there's some some air of a public toilet about it for some reason

Musty they the other guys auto alex they haven't revealed it yet

So I can't say what it is but have bought something and it's american jealous. We are you do you know about this? Yeah

Um, we got in it jealous very upset about it, but we got in we were like, what's that smell?

I recognize that smell somewhere and we realized it was from our Cadillac. Yeah in 30 40 years

The smell of an american interior still has not changed. That's impressive leather. Got that smell in that you smell that

smell in that

God, it smells horrible. But yeah, they look on the outside, but the interior go. Yeah, just keep it

Um, next up. Oh, we have a PSA. Is this PSA? We're calling it a PSA

We

Are going to bond trade this year. No way guys and we went there last year as well. Yeah. Yeah. We did

You were you were there. Do you remember seeing every 92 m3 and f80 m3 m4 and m3 on come on country

They don't they don't import them. They do they have them there. No, it was a day. Yeah, they did

So we are going this year and we will be there. We will all be there and we would like to ask who's going if you're a brand

If you're a person if you what what are you who are you?

What are you made of who else is going and if you're going with something cool to drive?

We want to drive we want to do a video that is asking people to drive their cars

And so we want to drive as many cool things as possible in monterey. It won't be long

It will be a five minute drive in your car. We'll throw a gopro in there

We'll say this is jad and jad's letting us drive his car book rogers

Yo, man. Kyle's here, which would make no sense because that would mean they would be introducing us

Anyway, um, shout out. Let us know and we can we can link up and if anyone has access to the quail

We must be yes. Do you know what that's one of my I don't know what powers we have in the us

I know we have us viewers and but it's obviously the us is a big place

So we could say yeah, cool here all the us viewers meet us here and they go

No, that's like that's like 10 hours away from me

I think if we could do a little creamy a little cream up an american cream up an american cream tea

Would be amazing and if you if the english creamers don't worry because we got

Consider that pipeline jam packed. Oh, it's filled. It's there's there's a blockage

But when that is released that's ben's ben's fees that it's charging us. It's going to be going everywhere. Absolutely

I have no idea what we're talking about right now

There's cream meats coming and events. He's there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we don't tell you. No, I had no idea

Now ben you've been here 26 plates. What's what's what's what's what's I think because I get quite excited when the new plates come out

That means they're a new plates in the clean this country. We have a very formulaic

I mean every country has a formulaic number player, I guess but but we're quite

So that in terms of value, let me talk you through it once if people will know this

But if you're not from the uk you have got a plate your plate will have typically in this current setup

We have it's two letters at the start. Call it wp. That's Bristol. Hmm. So that's that's location location of where the dealer was

Then you have the age identifier. Keep it simple

It is a couple but it it's usually like the minute it's 26

Why is that? What's the significant of that? That's the year. Okay, 26

And then when you get to the second part of the year, they change the first digit to like a seven currently

Each decade it changes but ignore that bit and then the last three are random

So it's quite formulaic, but basically in on the first of march and first september you get

The the new number. Yeah, you know this year's even 26 or 76

Which historically in the uk was always an important time for for people in in like upper middle class to to show off

To go out and get the brand new plate and have it first. So you go

People would on my 26. I saw a 26 plate m3

Well, hang on. I'm getting to this. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. So a lot of them said shut up. Yeah, shut up my story. You're ruining it

Um

Some people would even order the car and then they let it sit the dealer for like two weeks until it gets to that point

Where they can register it is that anyway, so 26 plate and I always get excited to see especially in march because you get the 26

Not 76 26

What was everyone's first one?

And I want the creamers to comment this because I'm interested. I have absolutely no idea. I haven't noticed

Mine was in three. I was behind a very nice. It looked tanzanite

But it's probably a newer color than that

It looked like a tanzanite blue very nice m3 warp speeding down the first lane and I didn't even notice

I just thought oh, that's a that's a g80. I thought it could be 10 years old. It could be three years

I don't know idea. I saw 26 and I was like this was last weekend. I want to say so this was like

I'm talking like this car this guy's just picked this up

That's the other thing for americans listening

You guys have the thing where your model years like a year and a half in advance like you got a 28 plate

Cadillac right now. We don't have that 26 starts

March 1st, but dealers make a massive deal of it as well

Yeah, it is a thing. It's like, you know, 26 plates are coming. Yeah, it is a bit. Yeah, they are coming

I find it a bit odd. I find it weird

I find it a little bit shallow and a bit. Yeah

Strange when I got my golf and it was on a 63 plate because up until now

I've not had a car new in 2010

I felt like I was considering not putting my plate on it because I thought it was a little bit of a baller move

And I realized that that was 13 years ago

You see the 60 plate. Yeah, are you okay? Do you need help? Yeah

But 26 plate mine was a model 3 sadly and it was quite sad because I looked it went 26 and looked like it was just a model 3

Mine will most likely have been some form of jlr product. I can wait. No, they can't be it can be a land rover

It's can't be a defender today that I feel like it'll probably be a janky

But I've seen many and I want to know what everyone else saw. I really rarely notice anything you are not paying attention

That's tough. So anyway, I did however see a lotus Carlton yesterday and woken up 26 plate. No

It made me happier than I think any other

car spot in a long time has because we never see anything we never we never

No, it's fair. No, we've never seen anything. We've never seen anything but in that spot. We rarely see cool stuff

It's just this once in a been a blue moon. It was just and there it was sat there street part lotus Carlton

You're a hero the human now. I don't think I haven't added this but feel free to speak on this

There is also a Carlton that's coming up for an auction. It is. It's very cool. There is a ex sultan of brunei

Well, that's not that's not confirmed. It is an ex brunei

Lotus Carlton that is painted in silver. It is a project

I found videos of the car from when it was in brunei

I believe it's not on the it's not on the official list of the ven numbers of the brunei or our family

Which means I think it was a car that was bought for people

It was a big thing back in the day. They were by cars at many many cars obviously as they did

And then they would give them to either like local ministers or maybe as like presents to people

They would usually do it with bmw's because bmw's were seen as below the royal family

Mercedes was that guy bmw was like give it give it to the peasants. I got no idea

So loads of the eight series

Are all cars that were given to people. So there are lots of abandoned ones because they were obviously given to people who perhaps

You know, they could afford to run them in the day

But then they would be sold on to people who are like, where am I getting starter motors for for a v12?

And then they go and sit in a shed for very long. I believe that's what's happened with that Carlton

But it's silver which so for reference no Carlton. They were all the green whatever green is

They were all green

Now the the thing that's interesting to me

I want to look into it people know there was a Carlton that was once repainted for a tv show

And it was painted in the nearly exact same silvery gold color

So i'm kind of interested to find out the other there's been kits before and I always see because there was that one

LLF had it was like it was it was a Carlton

Had the v6 and it had been tuned up, but it had a sort of replica kit

But they were in when I see it in a different color. I'm like this

This ain't it. No, it's not it's not correct

So I think that car is is correct now the one thing the one thing that I'm this is super nerdy

Here you go. It's it's going up for auction iconic auctioneers

But do you want to do you want to see a real a real nerd move a real undiagnosed move?

If I click through the photos you hear

That is the roof line of a bmw8 series with its roof the sunroof up in the background and I think there's one other photo

there look

Now that is a now not only is that an eight series. I know that exact chassis

I have a photo of that car from when it was sat on a driveway in brunei

So it's got it's not got pop-ups. Yes, it does. They're like headlights. What are you talking about? Just above there?

No, this there. No, no, that's it's faded paint. Oh

But I know that car I've seen that car sitting up

So I'm wondering if the person who's persons has gone out there

Found a load of projects as brought them back and is that sticking up sell because also the photo

So it's not like it's in a you know, oh my god, it's not like it's in a warehouse or something

Something that's just on like a housing estate somewhere and someone's just like designated parking spot

Someone came home one day and went. Why is there some mossy cars outside? I can't move

And then but yes, I'd love to know I'd love to know what the what the story is with that car

Why why it came back what there are lots of cars that are

In brunei that are not owned by the royal family but are sitting about them if that makes sense

They have nothing to do with the collection. They were sold and then just sit

But you know what I would man a colton is is one of my absolute dream cars even just a drive

Just love the driver colton

How much are you gonna pay for that one?

No, because I see the 50 000 pound number here would imply that that is the reserve around about that

That's a crazy one

There was you know, every now and then a project colton comes up. I'd love to do that. There was a dusty one

Yeah, dusty crusty musters on 25 grand or so. Yeah, which you know tdc project colton

Because also like some of the when they get to that sort of level

It's the very expensive ones. They were very clean and very, you know

Pristine and you don't want to use it and they're standard normally. Yeah

We want the sort of one that you can is a little bit higher miles

It's a little bit tattier

You could probably modify it and not be too bothered by it and then that's the kind of one that you want to see

Edwin's just on tip top. I want to talk this is the car from when it was still in brunei

Parked up and it looked not

Not in a great place. It's a little bit mashed. So it is an opal. I believe well, but it's a right-hand drive car

Which would make it a voxel

But so yeah weird if you know anything about anything let us know

Let us know speak what you know

And uh, oh, they weren't words what I just said there ben you've been here t50s

breaks gt3 lap record and I believe it was accidentally also

Was it? I don't know that

The t50s has broken a g3 lap record. No in Bahrain. I believe yes places now. Let me just stall whilst I pull us up

Okay, great

So this is basically the t50

The modern day mclaren f1

Gordon Murray machine

And this is the the s so it's the track focused one. I believe it's not. I believe it is road legal. I can't remember

Is it really you are a newsman? This is your news. I don't know. This is not new. I am now

All I know is the accidentally thing

essentially they went to

They broke the Bahrain international gt3 lap record in that now. Here's my question about this

Yes, people who know motorsport will know a lot more than me. I know nothing about motorsport

The mclaren f1

That's a car when it became the gtr to race it was in the gt1 class

So take that same

We're moving down to the t50. It should in theory be in like a gt1 class. Maybe that's not an existing anymore

I don't know

But why are we comparing it to gt3's then?

It's like that's like building the sse bloodhound and going this thing is faster than the fastest road car

I know surely it should be like what but why why why is it why is it a big thing that it's the gt3 record?

Ben make I don't know racing what I know is it broke the record. Okay. Thanks. I saw it. I thought that's interesting

TDC uh cream news you heard it here first

I see I don't really know what the I've never heard of gt1 recently. Yeah, maybe it's gt1 was like that's like, um

A Porsche what the hell is it called? What was the Porsche of the gt1? Are those strassum versions? Yes

But I wouldn't just call it gt. Yeah, but anyway like that that like category where it was like super hyper

mega car types of stuff and then gt2 and gt3 which was a bit more sort of

Um, not normal, but you know gt3 gt1 and what's up? I believe it ended. This says here ended in 2009

And you know what he was in there? The mercilago was in there gt1. The bloody hell. Yeah

Okay, yeah, yeah, okay rgt rgt. So the end of gt1 at least what I can find the race cars

Salina seven r mc12 that c6 r

Corvette the yellow one. Yeah GT r

mercilago and forward gt

I remember I knew nothing about motorsport and I saw there was an event at silveston back when I was a teenager

A young teenager and I said to my dad. I want to go here. It was around my birthday. I said, can we go here?

I knew nothing about racing. I didn't know that I didn't know there was practice

I didn't know it was qualifying. I just knew that there was a mercilago rgt taking part

I didn't care. I don't think it was even winning. I didn't care all I wanted to do was see that car go past

But that little

Category of car. I want to say mc12 might have been in there the sort of race car version. It's it. I've just seen it

It was in earlier. Yeah, but that that batch of race cars where it's like these are the super cars of the day

But stripped out proper like unrestricted noise

Man, that is the best. But still, I mean that's so well, we don't know yet from benjamin

So perhaps he's doing his research as we speak. I've heard so it might be the gt3 is for all road cars

converted into race cars because gt3 i'm thinking that's like

The gt like as in Porsche 911 gt3 and the m4 and few other bits like that. So

But they are like actually

They're not really road cars anymore. They're kind of literally

Tubular chassis type stuff, but they broke the record accidentally. I heard and again, I don't know anyone that I just read the

That was the article I read

But I did watch because my dad sent it to me. There was a top gear video on this. I think it was at bar rain as well

Um, that thing sounds unbelievable. Yes. Yeah, it really does and there's a the start of the video is literally

That car taking off down the straight and the goodwood members meeting I was at where I

I think they I can't remember if they could get they couldn't get the s started

But the t50 and the t33 went past. Oh, no, sorry. The s did go past

Like as of zonda are you can never be him. Yeah, you won't be him. Unfortunately, but

it's close

jma

You know, we're right here. You let harry's garage ever go. We drove. We've drove past you once

You know and ben can go in there's three of us. There's three seats. Exactly

Can I have a go Gordon?

It's a little go. No, no, no, you can don't put them off

Do you know we'll do that you can have a go in some of the other gma cars?

Like have you seen these other creations? No, you can have a go in the one that they did mongolia on the ground tour

What jeff?

No, that's what it's cool. John. John. That's it

Possibly, I don't know. It was john. Yeah. Yeah other way. It's cool car. I mean it is it is absolute unobtainium

But still it's just nice that it exists. Yeah, although I prefer I prefer the road one and I prefer the s s one lm

Still the one that we created when we requested and then it got we came up with it got built

We need to we need to request down this year's monterey car

What if now I meant to ask you this will

What if there was a resto mod mercilago? Do you think you'd like that?

Now

There will be yes, there has been the diablo, but I think they cocked it up every time

There's also the glado one there was a glado and it's based on a five liter

So theory that's right. That's right up my alley so far up my alley. I like I know it's there with me in the alley

But but it doesn't look right. No, they never I know they have to change it and they want to make it

So like it looks like that million or two million pound car

But I think I think I don't know I think what people want

Is I want it to look exactly like how it looked when I went when I wanted it when I was younger or when I couldn't afford it or whatever

Or when I considered buying it, but the tech was too old

Look exactly like that and sound basically exactly like that

But it has modern features either like the steering is better or the suspension is updated

It now has better brakes. It now has an actual infotainment system and a reversing camera, but it's all like retro power style

So, okay, but so you wouldn't do like singer style where there are still some visual changes singer is that is that is I don't

You know, I'm not that bothered by 9 11. So actually I genuinely couldn't tell you the difference anyway

But that's but that's the point. Yeah, that should be the point where I mean, yeah, it's just like Diablo

We saw in Monterey that

I mean, it's not a bad looking thing. It's very cool to see in person

But I'd much rather see an and a real Diablo agreed

Now again, if you took a real Diablo and you updated it, you made the interior you made the shifter a bit better then

Unfortunately, I've just looked up and accept eccentricer who are those people making that Diablo have said that they may follow up with a mercy logo

Well, that's fine

They can do that they can do that but the original that's why I think some of them will lose with that is they they loot

People like the old car because it is old. Yeah, it's the way it sounds

It's it's the little foibles you might get with an old car that gives it its character

It's only little bits like infotainment and and little bits that make it drivable and usable every day

It's basically making a mercy logo a Diablo a glado that fires up on the button every single day

Without a problem and you you could drive it through Europe. No issue

But it still looks like the old thing. So, you know, I can't afford any of these cars

But still if you're a rest of a person do it properly, please

Um, where did that start? I asked you that but where were we before that t50 t50 and we're off of that now because I'm going to

Speak about something completely different

The other day I arrived at the unit just down the round around the corner there is a little junction and a van was pulling out

And I decided to flash the van to let him out. Whoa

I flashed him

I'd flip my trousers off and nice nice, but it was normal. I gave him this was a normal flashed and said

Away you go after you as he pulled out. He waved at me somewhat sarcastically. I thought a little bit strange

But whatever and then I got given this symbol now to describe that that is like as in call me

Type symbol to the ear

A phone phones for you. Yeah, but with the phones. Yeah

So a wave and a little smile and then a call me and I looked and I thought it's a sort of grade transit van

Sort of business up the side. I don't know that person

Like maybe it is someone I've met and I don't remember and I'm like I was I meant to call someone

Someone called me and I've missed the call. I've got to I've got to return the call and it baffled me

And it really baffled me for the whole day and then and then we got an email

I don't know if you want your whole name said I'm to say from peter who is a boy a boiler

He's not a boiler. What would you call that person a boy?

Lumber

Plumber, I guess you'd probably call it that

Good morning team tdc. I would just like to cap

I would just like to cap my hat for any confusion

I may have caused this morning when you gracefully let me out of x-road the guy in the gray transit playing your unusual gestures game

It was hopefully understood eventually but just wanted to add clarity when I realized it was you

I didn't have long to come up with a gesture. It went from surfer dude to in my mind call me

This is exactly what I thought it was

It wasn't till I drove off seeing the puzzled look that my gesture may have been confused with get off the phone

Which you certainly weren't on

I was baffled

And then I was after reading this email. I was annoyed because I have been had

We have been I've been had at our own game literally now

I will explain this to me and I the first thing I said was the game is off

The creamers no

Now now we kept so once we come up once we come out with our creamer stickers and our cream related stickers

Your job your your goal should you choose to accept it is when you see a fellow creamer

If you see us in the wild you got throughout that is your goal is to get the reaction you need that

Who what was that? Hey, who's that?

So nothing mean no nothing

Quite literally but the the perfect not almost like it played out as an example. Yeah, you you didn't feel upset by it

I just confused but you're like, what's that? I need to think that do I know that person

Do I do I need to call someone and then there is so so top top work peter creamer of the week

Yeah, absolutely confused. Well that's fantastic work and first thing in the morning as well

Yeah at his own game and such close proximity to the unit as well. That's why that's why it didn't feel real

No, it wasn't a weekend or something. I might have missed it on the weekend, but this was like hang on

Have you just what's going on there? You tracked me down to do this

Um, yeah, well done. Well done. Well done, mate

You got me this time. Um, edwin you've put in here c 63 name

I have a casual bit of car nerdery for you the miscaly c 63

Yes

The one that we all know the 6.2 liter. Why is it called that? Because uh 63 is the old classic racing thing even though it's actually a 6.2

Right now guess what?

There was a 63

Before the c 63 ever came out. I present to you through doing random nerdy searches

the 2002

miscaly's cl 63 amg what the

6015 and they had the s class of the same gen the s 63 amg

And what was it powered by?

I was 6.3 a 6.3 liter not a v8, but a v12

But look at that

That's where the number now obviously it did come from the original. Yeah, the the the pink the red pink red pink

That's the one that's where it's kind of from

But hey now all of this top gear teaching me that it's 6 2, but it's actually 6 3 because that they made a 6 3

And it was called a cl 63 in 2002. They're super rare

Why don't I know this because there was something like I think it was there was 25 of one

And then like a hundred of the other not in this country

They were in the car in this country that car is a I believe that car's a right-hand drive

So that means they would have had the cl 55. Yeah the cl

63

Yes, and a 65. Yes available available at the same time

But just no one went for 2002 that you could buy a cl 63 that had a 6.3

That was a fantastic piece of knowledge to add to my brain. Yeah, just a random and a piece of knowledge that for whatever reason

I will store forever. Yeah, no, no, no, that's the moment I found that out. I was like locked in

Yeah, so someone tell me something else that's actually useful. I don't remember that directions to places

Hello

Someone goes. Hello. My name is jade you go

Right, Gregory the 6.3 actually was from 2002 did actually exist and it's nothing to do with the red pig

Anyway, that's a cool. I like that. That's a tidbit. Yeah quite a bit that I will tell people

Yeah, there we go tidbits to tell the people edwin you put in here something about toll plaza

You say toll plaza worth it alone now. Here's here's my conundrum coming down from Liverpool

You have two choices around the great city of Birmingham

Birmingham, if you're not from the UK, they're kind of like our Las Vegas. It's a you know a destination for all

We love it. We love it. It's so big and so busy for good reason that there is a ring road around the whole side of it

And they made one side of the ring road

We could drive on it and then so that you could get around it faster and away from it. Sorry around it quicker

They made a toll road

A road that you pay to go on the m6 toll the m6 toll very good. Ben, do you know how much it is now?

I drove past it. I didn't go on it though. I'm gonna say the other way. I think I last paid seven pounds

Oh, I was a six pound 30. It's 11 pounds

Uh, it was nine pounds for if you're the cheapest then up to 11

How much is it worth it to you to go through a toll? Right? Oh, it's priceless isn't it really?

Well, this is the thing if you explain that to a car person

I'm going to give you an opportunity. You're doing is a 70 mile an hour motorway

You may come to a stop and you may do the fattest pull you'd like

You could you know up to 70. Yeah, you could go more if you wanted, but we're not going to talk about that crime

You may just stop on the middle of the motorway and do a pull. Yeah also into like no man's land

Yeah, there's seven lanes going into three. So you have to be everyone else. There's a chance someone might come out at the same time

So you have to get in front of them and here's the thing. There's a kind of

a

General accepted practice where we're all going for it. It's not like most people are going to go

I'm just going to poodle up to no everyone guns it. Yeah

That I know 11 pounds is too much and I was upset about it

but three or four pounds

Not every day, but like once every month. I'd happily pay that it's like entering the ring

Literally now that is our version the barrier goes up and it's like well beyond this point go surely

It's just the purge all all crimes are now

I like to think between that area and between after the barrier and then until the lanes again

No police. There is no governance. You're not allowed. You can't be sitting on the other side of that

I'm going to start operating just in there. I'm going to start open a stall

There's going to do whatever you like. You don't have to pay tax in there

It is just it's it's like the Vatican. It's Vatican City. Exactly different rules that it's it's it's a it's a

modern-day version of for those 10 seconds or less

I'm free between the toll booth and where the lines start for the lanes

Beautiful. Yeah, absolutely wonderful. And yeah, I just I I went on it and of course I did a big pull

And everyone around me was doing the same thing. There's a kind of five series diesel that was just going for it

Maybe all motorways need that just like as a reset. So when there is an obviously there would be traffic

Obviously, but if we made it like 25 lanes wide, you're right. Everyone line up line up line up

We're going for a reset and then the really fast people would get ahead

Do you know what? I want I want to bet on it

So I want all of the I want everyone to filter into their their their cubicles. What would you call them booths?

Lanes?

Well, yeah, but where you pay your toll booth. Yeah, the toll lanes booth

Everyone lines up and until they're full until we've got 10 full slots

The gates don't open

And then there's a there is a formula one style countdown

And the gates will go off at the same time like BMX races

And there's three lanes up at the end sort it out between yourselves grand trismo sound effects. Come on

Literally that I want to bet on that. I want to go guy in that old guy in the 630i

He's got this he's got the reaction. He's got it. He's loaded up. He's loaded up on the talk

But how fun would that be? You know, you sit you sit in a line for 45 minutes. That would make it worth it

I can already see the comment

I feel legal you can't be doing that. That is that is reckless to be doing that

You've never had fun in your life. You're boring old bastard. Ben, mate. Don't take that

I actually haven't ever done it. Have you've never done that? I wouldn't even been to a toll booth

The m6 toll when I had my swift sport and I probably gave it I probably gave it

That's what I mean even even a normal person such as yourself

Would still feel an inkling to go

I definitely give it a little I don't know if I did a you know

Red line clutch done but I probably probably gave it some more than you would at any other traffic light

Or because that's what it is. It's essentially a traffic light. You're just saying go although you say it's dangerous

But I mean people merge at 25 miles now. That's dangerous much worse

Yeah, exactly. Whereas I want to get up to my speed as quick as possible. Of course a toll booth in another country

I feel I feel less about exactly

But I did it in in it in Italy in Italy in Italy and in the us

I have a cool. It's not actually cool. It's actually quite funny

I don't know if I've sold this on the on the podcast before but a toll booth story

Uh, me and my girlfriend laugh about this quite often is that there are lots of tall toll booths in sort of um in Italy

There you go. And um, that's a great one. I was driving. I was going to Maranello actually or towards like, um

Santacarta and that's to go to the sort of motor valley if you like

And I drove through a toll booth. There was, you know, you get like lanes. It's like you just drive through it

I was like, I don't know if I meant to stop for that side to drive through it

I thought surely maybe it's like a plate recognition thing and it's like, I know what you've come from

You just pay at the other end and I got to the other end and they was like

It was a they were speaking Italian obviously

What and um, what's going on here?

And they said because they wouldn't let me through obviously because I didn't have the ticket

And they said to me, where have you come from?

And I didn't compute what they meant and I said England

And I just heard a sigh on the other side of the microphone and the barrier opened and he just let me go

And I was like, you didn't like you didn't say like where you originally from it was like

Where did you just come from?

Well, I was born just outside Slough originally

And then I kind of grew up around there. Yeah, I grew up here and I've moved since then but yeah

Where are you from? England

Oh, okay, whatever go away in other countries told me I ain't racing from them. No, no

Because I feel like I feel like the international rosters will be our you don't know the game

Yeah, but being a foreigner though you get where my dad my dad is dutch

And he has played the I'm just a I'm just a clueless foreigner

While living here for the last 20 years. So the amount of the amount of absolutely ridiculous automotive things I've watched him do

and then

He will say in perfect English watch this. Yeah, do something dumb get pulled up on it and go

I'm sorry. I don't really speak. I don't understand. I don't know what's going on

And that is it's always

Just don't do it again go on then

Oh, I choose Mike

Um, what do we have next? Oh, we have Richard Porter has been in touch

Now I'm excited about this because you told me you told me not to look in the email

I saw it last night and I've listened to it

Now Richard Porter listened to his email

World famous. He is he is uh, uh writer extraordinaire on original on the golden years of top gear

The most the grand tour the most famous richard in regards to top gear. Absolutely. He is the richard. Yeah, he is richard

Richard you reversed into the sports lorry obviously

um

We had one of the podcast a little while back. Obviously ben wasn't there

It was the longest podcast because probably podcasted it for possibly three days many moons and we've

We have conversed like pen pals via email and again like many conversations we have on the podcast

We don't respond. No really we sort of respond here. Yeah, this is the richard sends us an email

We respond via the podcast

That's the that's the relationship. It's how it works until we meet again. Yeah, but I saw one it stood out to me

So in the in the emails that we have I saw an email from Richard Porter

I thought I must open this and I saw Benjamin tractors at night song

A song what a song now rich reporter is a is a very capable musician. He's he loves his synthesizers

He loves he loves making music. So you might have just got your your own

No, wait, no

He didn't make a song

He made a song tractors at night

Brackets feet cream mp3. I'm gonna how did how did how did feet how was felt feet spell

EET oh

That's just pseudocrine

Okay, good. Yeah, I thought this was like a song he sent in that would would

Now unfortunately will is going to be playing it through his phone

So the fidelity is going to be a little bit lower. It is three minutes 20 long. You're holding it to your ear

It's three minutes long. I'm not yet. I'm trying to talk to you. It's three minutes 20 long

Right. Here we go. So I might have to skip three minutes 20 hold on skip three

Oh

That's a synth

The intro goes on a little while

Okay

I mean, I love that intro to drive

Tickle clock

It's now feels like a radio show. Yeah, this does put it a bit closer now gang. We're going on to the

I think like there's a lot recently

I want to preface it by saying that I don't I'm not beefing the farmers hairs on their farm. We love the farm

but

The people who design tractors

You put the headlights right in the middle

What are you doing?

This giant appears

This gargantuan machine

Tractors handling

I respect you

Tractors handling

This behemoth of the night

You're from Bristol

What's that normal car flying down the road for

You're from Bristol

What's that man on a huge bicep

You're from Bristol

Look at that, it's hovering

You're from Bristol

No, we won't play the whole thing. I'll skip through because I haven't heard towards the end

No, I'm done

I absolutely love Kavinsky

I want to know

Is that you Richard?

No, that's Ben

But him doing this, I don't know what you'd call it in musical terms

The tractors at night

No, because that was Ben at the beginning

He said I want to speak about

Tractors at night

Richard, if we could get a breakdown

Of the how you made that

What samples have you used?

I'm actually somewhat

Of an audiophile, I love collecting CDs

And things, and I have a load of Kavinsky albums

And that very plausibly

Could be on a Kavinsky

Tracklist

Can we get this as a record, like as an actual

I want to cover on everything

I know I joked about it being the intro to Drive

But can you send me that, I want to overlay it with the intro shot

Just to match it up, because that was great

What we'll do is we will

In that

With Richard Porter's permission

Link that so that you can listen to that fully

We'll put that in the description somewhere on YouTube

I love the idea that

Richard Porter, the man who wrote

Top Gear, listened to

A conversation that we had

And when I'm going to make a song

I didn't spend, I don't know how long that took

But I mean, it's probably going to be half an hour to an hour

Minimum making that

And sat there and was like, right, tractors at night

He heard you say that and went

Like, what to do? Let's go on in

And just sat down

And sat at his desk going, right

We're going to bring him in there

No, he's from Bristol

You're from Bristol

Mega as always

Shout out, Richard Porter

We might have a go at doing one to Smith & Sniff

Except we've got no musical talent

So it might come out a little bit worse

We all three of us doing it

We all get an instrument

Richard Porter, come back on the podcast

Yes, but without you, Ben

Fine, yeah, okay

You didn't even push back on that a little bit

Well, if you don't want me, I won't be

I would love to meet Richard Porter

Well, we mean the proof will be in the pudding

Okay

Richard Porter getting in contact

Why do I have to do it?

Why do I have to contact you?

It's been quite a long process because we were saying

Richard getting in contact, he'll send us an email

We can't respond to that

We'll have to wait till the next podcast

I'm free April the 12th

And then we'll say on the podcast

We're actually not free that day because it's sort of the 17th

And it'll go on for weeks and years

And years and then it'll never happen

Finally

Not quite finally, penultimately

Very nice

We've got, Edwin's put in here

I'm just going to say it

RS3 Ben

Ben, it's because I have something for you

I saw it

And then a load of people tagged me in it as well

But I saw it fast

There is a new RS3 special edition

I saw this

Did you see its party piece?

I'm going to show it to you, it's over here

For audio listeners, where am I?

Here you go, here's the front of the car

Ben, are you ready? Can you describe for me what's happening?

So we've got a headlight and it's indicating

And now it's doing

It's doing a dance

So it has a little eyebrow above the light

With rows of three

Yeah, like rows of three

And they're doing lots of little

And that's how many cylinders the car has

No, it's the firing order of the five cylinders

Oh, shhhhhh

In the jaw

Do I like that?

Why is that cooler to me than the number of cylinders?

You're such a whopper

I don't know what I think

Do I like that?

How is it the five?

It's the order in which the five cylinders go

So it's like one

For three, four, five

For four, right?

They've had words and names in the lights

That's kind of an Audi thing of recent

For people listening, we'll explain it better

There's a rain light on the top of it

Bruce, my explanation wasn't enough

Sorry, we'll explain that properly

It's a grid of LEDs

Yes, sorry

And each one individually lights up in the firing order of the engine

Meanwhile, me

It's a row of lights

I thought you said that

I don't quite get your vernacular

Can you explain what it is?

That is a headlight

That's the front light on a car

I call it a grid

In an eyebrow fashion

That's the light

And they light up in sequence

And the sequence is the firing order of the five cylinder engine

That's very eloquently put

Fantastic

Ben, you don't and do like that at the same time

For some reason to me

And this is an insight into how my mind works

I find that cooler than the ten lights

Because the thing about the ten lights is they're just

That's the shame

There's just ten lights

Whereas this, they're doing something

The ten lights are... George will be cool

So if the ten lights did a dance

Stop speaking

Combine the two, then it's cool

Because that isn't the number of cylinders in the RS3

Is it?

What I'm saying is, imagine if

The ten lights

On the S6

That exist because there's ten cylinders

If those ten lights were in the firing order

So you do admit they exist because there's ten cylinders

Is that what I said?

I thought I didn't like it

You said it was just a happy co-inky-dink

Yeah, but that's not a coincidence

Okay, that's fine then

That makes more sense

So you want the 18 year old car to start doing a robot cop dance

Every time it starts up

I'd love to be inside Ben's mind

Because it's just him fighting himself

Do I think that? No, I don't think that

Yes, I do think that

I don't think that's true

We've got pretty loose opinions on things

I don't really care

That though is different

Because my original argument with the S6

Was that they put ten lights there and went

That's a bit like

I'd say that is the natural successor

But they went, we're going to make that functional

What do you mean functional?

If I'm driving down the road and there's someone

Doing the firing order dance of a five cylinder

That's not an accident

Do you think someone's like

They're doing the timing or they're putting ignition coils

In on something

Let me just refer back to my head

One, four, three, two, three, two, three

No, I can't miss that one, could you do it again?

Ben's

My dad was calling me

Get him on the pod

Yeah, no, that is that was they went

We're going to make this

Whereas the S6 was

They mined it

Despite the fact that a normal

A6 didn't have ten

So they added the ten, random number

Plug from thinner, random number

Added to the S6 and the RS6

I got so many abusive messages

During that first one, I don't really want to speak of it again

I don't, do you know what?

I don't know, I think that's quite cool

Because it lights up, the other one is just lights

Ben is simple, I just wanted to

Show it to you Ben, I wanted to see your thoughts

But why is the name of the

The thing in our slack chat

What's that then? RS3, what was it?

RS3, Ben, and then the sort of

It's called your name

Because it was for you, it's for

For me to pose this question to you

Because it actually is back and forth

Ben's entertained by it, like some sort

Like a toddler

Like it's coca-mala

Ben

Oh no, that's fine

If I'm putting a trance by it

I'm absolutely cool with it

Yeah

No, it's cool, that's cool

Because that was never my point

I feel it's not a hill you'll die on

No, that's all

I don't think I'll ever settle the podcast

The

What I say, that is cool because

It's a feature

The other thing is just

A row of LEDs that are just

A row of LEDs for the sake of it

Okay, but surely that is a row of LEDs

For the sake of it, like they could have just made that

One block of LED

Here's what I'll say

I do believe

Ben was formulating me a bit

Here's what I'll say and then went

Here's what I'll say

Here

They designed that

And then afterwards they went

We'll make it the firing order

I will die on that hill

I don't think on the day they drew that car

They will have the light as the firing order

I think it was something they came up after

And the

So you think they just randomly designed this

Because that but

It's going against my original thing about the S6

But at least that's 10

They might have gone

We'll put 10 LEDs there for the cylinders

That though, how many is that? That's 20?

That's a random number

3, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12

25, they've gone

A full grid because the bottom

The ones on the right aren't three down

But what I'm saying is they've made a grid there

And gone that looks cool when it unlocks

How about we have a little dance and what if it's the firing order

So it's an afterthought

Whereas I believe that

I believe it even more than the S6

Big manufacturing is going

It's the dealership and programmed it in

I'm saying after they designed the car they put that in

I like the idea that the engineers

And the designers are

They hate each other

The engineers are picking the whole car together

And they hand it to the designers

And the guys go, what am I supposed to do with this?

How am I supposed to make

Something out of it? I'm not supposed to chase them

They're going

But this light has nothing

For me to make a meaning out of

How many lights have I got? 10, that's all I've got to work with

No more, and I can't do a dance with them

What can I make that mean? Do they go different colours at least?

I don't know

That's why I saw the doctors

I already thought, what does that mean?

Oh, I don't know

That means

He's like, get out of the way, I'm an emergency service vehicle

Does it? Yeah, yeah

That's an afterthought, stay in my mirror

Approaching the anniversary of that

That's nice

Nathan, go and contact with me

Hey Ben, one for the podcast

I just bought my dream car, S1 Lotus Elise

Wow, good car

But it's sawn, and it's ahead of its first

MOT, he was checking the tyres

And realised that the tyres were

20 years old, but

With no cracks, now it's not a big forum here

But I was going to talk about this for

For safety, and so we can provide some value

To people listening

He basically is asking, they've got no crack

For the last 20 years old, is that okay?

Now, here's one for you, no

No, because I know

I'm no Jonathan Benson of tyre reviews

Perhaps he will be able to tell us

But there is something where

When rubber gets old, think about it

Like the airlines

Okay, no, go ahead

They just go soft, don't they?

No, sorry, not soft

They go brittle

He won't do as well

As a young man

Well, I think either way

They've not done great, but it's about durability

Now, also, I like that instead of saying

They might fall

Falling down the stairs

You decided that from the standpoint of

No, I'm pushing

I have

Consciously decided to push

Maybe testing

You know, from an empirical level

You decided, I need to test

How brittle this matters

We've got to be quick, there's a man

That's about to drive

On 20-year-old tyres

Think of it like the airlines

Or the vacuum lines in your engine bay

Go and try and take a 20-year-old

25-year-old one off, it will snap

They become brittle, as Will said

The same thing happens with tyres

Not to the same degree, but they become hard

The reason they crack right is because of that

They go hard and they can't

They're not malleable

Touch a new tyre and you will see just how soft it is

They are genuinely very soft

Touch a tyre after just one month of driving

And it will be a bit less soft

Master Oogway over here

There are specific ways to store tyres

So it depends which one

The Gallardo, not the ones that came with the car

But the wheels I bought for the Gallardo

Were like

15-years-old

Basically the tyres

But they were like the original Lamborghini-marked Pirelli's

And they're fine

Because that car has probably been

I don't know what car it came from

But it came probably in storage or in a garage

And then they rotated regularly

Whereas if a car is like

Just because it's inside doesn't mean it's good

No, because it can dry out

It depends on the temperature and whatever else

And also if it's just sat in one spot

You end up with a flat spot or whatever

So it's about

I think you're meant to store a tyre off the car

Long ways

Not long ways, how do you say that

As if it would be on the car, basically

So that's why people have a tyre rack

You don't have them stacked up like a tyre wall would

You don't want them sitting

Without any pressure on them, if that makes sense

But wouldn't that make them

Flat spotting would make them

Sitting on normal

What am I saying?

How a car is, right?

That would flat spot it because it's a circle

That's being pushed on one side

Because the pressure of the car is pushing that wheel down

Whereas when it's off the car and it's just sitting

On a tyre rack, it's not

There's no pressure black spotting it

But there is a reason for it

But you're not supposed to store them stacked

May I say one thing?

Now our mate Nathan here has said

I'm taking it for an MOT

Now if you're saying I'm going to take it for an MOT

I'm not really driving it

It will pass

It will pass because it's not

They're looking at it being cracked

They might advise

They might advise and say

I've seen that before

But they can't fail it because there's nothing wrong with it

So for that purpose

It will probably pass but do not drive on that

Ideally

Or don't drive hard on it at least

I wouldn't if it's me

I don't want the risk of a blowout

Because there's any number of reasons

That over time they will get worse and worse

I'm sure it'll be fine

But just don't take the risk

That's 10 years old

Maybe I might trust it for a bit

20 years old

20

Don't even run the risk

It's because the compound changes

And all sorts

I've never driven on tyres that old

You're on the racing hards at that point

You could last the entire F1 race

It's an interesting video

Which is testing tyres by age

Now where do we find 20 year old Nathan Letters

No we might need those

Shall we do it in 20 years time

I went to look at a car

At the beginning of the year

The guy said I got a brand new

It was like a new stock with an older tyre

It wasn't part of what I was saying

It was 2015, so that was a 10 year old tyre

That you put on brand new

What's more better?

Old, new, good tyre

That's not cracked

Or ling long

That's a great question

I would vote for new, cheap tyre

But we should try that

We should try that

Old, good tyre versus new, chip tyre

Oh man, I love doughnut halo

Was that all you wanted to know

Well yeah

We have to say we aren't MOT testers

Just because we said it won't, it will pass

Perhaps if you are John Benson

Or you're a tyre expert

Let us know

Let us know what is the science behind

When they get old and that sort of thing

No sorry, he has said

That he's just bought some EDU8

Lovely, he's solved it

But he said would you drive on them

So perhaps, sorry

I'd maybe drive them

Briefly, to the MOT

But also

I wouldn't go wazzing around

Backroads on a cold night with them

Especially if it was rainy

No, you can't trust that

So, this has been

I'd say a 50-50 informational

And delirious podcast

I think pretty good information

But no urinal talk this week

You're safe from that

We have had the writer of Top Gear make a

Sort of dance track to some of our

Check out that full song, we'll put that somewhere

For you to have a look at that

Shout out the creators, thank you very much

For listening to this episode of the podcast

Back next week for number 75

Woo, 25 off the old centenario

Cream get the money

Cos

Bills

C.R.E.A.M. #74 - Ben's ULEZ Fines, Toll Booths and Richard Porter's Song

VIN number

CarVertical

Mclaren F1

keyless entry

ULEZ compliant

certificate of conformity

DVLA

Euro 6

V5

Cadillac Escalade

left-hand drive

private import

BMW M3 (G80)

GT1 class

Bloodhound

GT2

Lamborghini Murciélago

motorway

barrier

toll booth

Formula One

BMX races

firing order

LED headlight

tyres

tyre flat spot

About this episode

Original notes