Episode #188 - We Do This to Ourselves

In a world with entirely too many shows about cars, this is another Pointless Automotive

Podcast.

Hey, everybody.

Hi.

Welcome back with the resounding hi from Frank.

Thank you for joining us again.

It is another Pointless Automotive Podcast, and it's going to be another pointless episode,

and we're glad.

I'm super glad to host you for this.

It feels like it's been a long time, man.

Well, kind of, right?

We recorded a few in advance ahead of car week, and now we are after car week, and it wasn't

because of car week.

It's because you had some vacationing to do and whatnot, and it all boils down to,

yeah, we're back in the saddle again.

Back at it.

Don't call it a comeback for sure.

Right.

Dude, we've been talking lately.

This has been-

This is not good.

This is why I came up with this topic, because there's no other way to say it, Frank.

We do this to ourselves.

This amassing project cars, this, dude, our backlogs.

I'm pretty sure your backlog's pretty healthy.

My project car backlog, we're talking about just not logs.

Yeah, not like colon logs.

Physical logs.

Right.

Poop logs, if you will.

Scientific.

I will.

And it's just not getting any better, man, and we just keep, I'm like, man, that's such

a good deal.

Let's secure it.

We'll figure out a time to actually work on it and do it.

No.

No, dude.

It's just the line of cars in my side yard continues to spread.

I'm going to knock down the backyard fence and kind of broker a deal with my neighbors

to see about parking cars into their yard, because it's getting out of hand.

It's getting-

Well, it's a few things.

I didn't mean to-

God damn it.

There's been, and we've touched on it before, but seemingly like a lot of interesting stuff

has been coming out of the woodwork lately for not a lot of money, which is a problem

if you're idiots like you and I.

To the point where you and I had a phone call yesterday, they're all bleeding together

of like, hey, look, are we really going to do this?

Are we really going to go in on yet another project car?

Because we just picked up that Lexus that haven't touched it.

We haven't started that project yet.

We were talking about starting another one.

Another one.

And we actually had to-

It was very tough, and we were very cathartic and supportive of one another.

Yeah.

You know what?

We got a very high functioning, as dysfunctional as we are.

We have a highly functional relationship when it comes to talking these things through, I

think.

I think we're pretty good about each-

Yeah, so far.

I mean, we-

I don't have a crystal ball.

It's terribly-

We both come at it with-

We both deal with each other, each other's heroin.

Very similar unhealthy habits, but it's kind of like a check and balance system.

I think we actually are pretty good about it because we definitely hear each other

out and we allow each other to voice our opinions, and it's the worst sounding

board ever, but it works for some reason.

I don't know how.

I think that was a very constructive conversation we had.

Yeah.

It was hard not to say yes to another-

It's always hard, right?

The hardest part-

So, that's it, right?

Buying project cars is the easiest part, right?

Sure.

Getting the car.

But then you start to-

It doesn't dawn on you, so it's covered in dust in your backyard after a couple

months and you're like, when the fuck am I going to actually fix this thing up?

Or what usually happens to me is as the dust is gathering, I'll have another opportunity

to buy something else.

Of course.

And then I go-

It's one of two things.

It's either that, and then I'm like, God, I really want this other thing, but apps

are fucking-

There's just no-

It's already at a state of being untenable.

Yeah.

So, to add on top of it, it's a grain of sand on the beach, but I'm not trying

to live on a beach.

And so, it's tough.

And then the other one has been like, suddenly we get to like wet season and it's ringing

a bunch and I have a bunch of cars outside and then I start stressing about it.

And if I had a nice hermetically sealed laboratory to keep them all in, then that's one thing.

But I've got shit street parked or I've got shit that's like kind of leaky or needy

or whatever.

And I'm stressing about water getting in or stuff that gets windy and branches getting

blown onto them or whatever.

Then it literally keeps me up at night.

Yeah.

It's spending a whole day pushing the battery tender from one car to the other like once

a month.

So, it's fucking bad, dude, but I think we made the right choice.

Should we spill the beans on what it was?

Yeah, the wound is still fresh, but let's go ahead.

Let's open it up again.

So, at the once in a lifetime opportunity, although that's what I tell myself and then

something else cool comes by and it's like the 97th in a month time.

At the end of the day, though, Frank, every car is a one of one.

Let's be brutally honest.

Like, sure.

When it boils down.

Yeah.

Please.

Inside all of us are two Corvette guys.

One of them is retired.

One of them is one of one.

The other one is also one of one.

But, no, the yes and one has adult onset downs, but no, the hell was I going with this?

The one of one.

The vehicle.

The vehicle in question.

Not the Corvette man related to Florida man.

So, the vehicle in question 1995 Nissan Pathfinder.

God, epically cool.

The 98,000 mile car or truck and so it's a 95.

So, it's the very last year of the first generation Pathfinder.

So, it still has the 3.3 or sorry, the three liter V6, the VG 30, this is automatic four

wheel drive, LE trim level, so not the SE, so it's got the chrome steel wheels instead

of the kind of iconic wide triple spoke and a little shorter doesn't have a roof rack.

It was like a dark blue with a blue cloth interior.

Excellent condition.

Wild.

Yeah.

Starts, runs smogged opportunity on the table was for 4750 to bring it home.

Good number.

Absolutely needed struts or shocks I should say on all four corners.

Probably there's some other stuff probably needs a timing belt.

Yeah.

And we were talking through it like that's probably an eight to $10,000 truck.

Probably seven would be like a very, very, very good floor, right?

Probably seven if we didn't do the timing belt, probably eight to 10 with the timing

belt water pump and like really sorted through the full photo suite and everything.

But like, do you have the time?

I don't have time to do what I currently have in my garage, dude.

Yeah.

And so we were both like hot to trot and about ready to pull the trigger and then we just

had to have a come to Jesus moment, which is not really like us to either speak to

Jesus or to turn down a project.

But and this wasn't even that much of a project.

No, not in theory right until it is, but we had to turn it away.

And even then we're still like, what the fuck is wrong with us?

Right.

Like, how are we, how are we, what's your problem, man?

Like I don't know.

But so there's two, two parts of that, right?

Like I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

You're never going to find another one that clean, right?

And then I kick myself.

And then the other side of me is like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

You have five projects to do, dude.

Get out there and actually work on something.

So there's two and those, those are two dynamic forces that are always fighting.

Dude, two Corvette guys, the two Corvettes.

It's not a split window, split rear window couldn't count.

But the thing is, like at the end of the day, and I stand on this man,

this was the biggest call I, we both agreed is if this thing,

first, first thing manual would have changed the game quite a bit.

Value wise, the amount of passion we have towards the vehicle

and being a two door.

I think the two door early pathfinders are fucking gorgeous.

And if that was with the exact condition, low mileage, too,

I don't think you mentioned 70, 70, 78, 78 very good mileage.

If it had low mileage and two door manual, no debate.

This would have been a killer, like a very, because I love them in the AC trim level.

I think I'm in those like on wheels with the roof rack.

They're a little, I think they're a little taller, too.

I think they're like an inch taller.

That would have been a no brainer.

Yeah, I do like I do prefer the two doors.

You got a better motor or a better fuel injection system, anyways,

with the four doors, because.

Just later, because when the two doors went away

and they were all four doors is when they updated for that.

I should prefer the earlier interior.

So I do, too, with less whoopie, less, quote, unquote, modern,

but boxy or more boxy, more truck, trucky.

Yeah, more truck, truck, more trucked to the truck.

If you truck tober fest. Yep.

Trarch, yeah.

No, it's and so yeah, it's just

I mean, when you just it's hard, did the high level spec sheet on it.

I was like, God damn it.

It sounds so good still.

It sounds so good. It's funny.

So after I got off the phone, I immediately had to go.

I drove somewhere.

I had to go get some work sheet done to clear your mind.

Roved off. Yeah.

Well, it was like an hour drive and on the drive, I was like.

What if I just bought it anyways?

Like what I'm like, well, like, I can maybe skip the time

about just do the struts and give it a detail and do the thing.

Then I'm going to do that.

I might have and then I'm going to pay to register it and then shit.

And then I got to wait for a title.

So they got to sit on it for at least a month.

Mm hmm.

And then they're and it's just like, yes, no, yes, no.

The two Corvette guys were arm wrestling and it's like the fuck, man.

Like even still, we had her like really good, like, OK, it's decided.

And then like 20 minutes later, well, what if.

Yeah, it's really easy to do.

Like when you we've been doing this a long time and I think we both like

I know you have it, too, like this uncannability of someone names

like the specs, they can pick a year, a model, the condition

and give you those numbers that you can give a dollar amount back to them

because we know what the market is on a lot of these vehicles,

especially the ones we really care about.

Yeah, the sub ten thousand dollar categories that no one else cares about.

I was going to go sub three.

But we'll church it up a little bit for the listeners.

But for me, it's like I it's really easy to focus on that

like possible high ceiling, right?

Like to say, oh, man, we could really come up on this.

And, you know, what you don't see is the cutaway of me doing

a fucking timing belt in the fucking 90 degree garage

when I have five other projects I need to finish or like,

how am I going to even fit this in or like we're getting in there

and then there's other issues and then there's the registration

and then there's all these things that compound

and like turn it into a not easily profitable thing.

So it's it's hard to like it's easy to focus on the money aspect of it.

But it's sometimes you lose you lose sight of like where the fuck

because time we can't buy more time, no matter what we do.

Can't buy it, dude.

So for me, it's like, when would I even fit?

I'm like doing the math.

I'm like, I haven't even seen this Lexus.

I'm pretty sure it exists.

I haven't even seen my child.

Yeah. And that is part of it, too.

It's just like it's it's.

Dude, and and and the rally.

I have like I'm done with this tracker.

I'm going to have a month to build a Volvo rally car.

And it's like at the same time, I'm like,

so I have a Lexus and then a possible pathfinder.

But I'm booked till 2027 effectively.

Yeah, plus a Galant plus a.

Do you not do this game again, please, dude?

Plus the CR one and the Blazer.

Oh, yeah, the Blazer. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And my buddy wants me to do a dis conversion

on his Fox body Mustang. Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, no, all all good things. Cool.

Yeah, because I've got I've got the focus to focus on.

I got to do there's a couple of things

I want to do on the sprint.

I really do think it's kind of.

I do think there's a bad transmission

mount somewhere I got to get in the air.

OK.

Having having spent time with it at car week.

But yeah, yeah, it's what is I'm trying to figure out.

Like, what is the solution to our problem?

Is it nothing? It's it's eternal suffering.

It's just we embrace it.

It's a mindset thing.

David, we just got to embrace it.

We are we're we're to is the is the plural of Sisyphus.

Sisyphus is or Sisyphi.

I would say Sisyphi.

Sisyphus is Sisyphus is Sisyphus.

So we're a pair of Sisyphi.

He's pushing our respective boulders up parallel,

but unique hills in forever in perpetuity.

It's that is a good one.

That's a grim outlook.

But I guess it's an accurate way to assess the situation.

But it's just like, I don't know, man.

Like, I am like low key stressing out about the rally

just because, like, it feels like I'm going on it.

Right. It feels like two months ago.

It was like the tracker.

I'm going to buzz right through it.

And here I am thinking, like, where am I getting this time?

Like now I'm like squeezing in a half hour where I can.

And like, that's the worst way to do a project, right?

And then it feels like work.

And then you start stressing when things don't work out smoothly.

And then I'm like, OK, so even if we take this other car on,

I got to get the Volvo done.

There's a lot of work because it's a rally.

You know, I actually have to push the car

and it has to be reliable.

And we're on a budget.

Same with the focus.

So I can't like because it's all same

because it's like it's one thing if I'm like,

this thing's a little sketch, but I'll push it.

It's not even going to be me driving it.

It's going to be undetermined human being driving it.

And I need to make it not be a death trap.

I need to make sure it's buttoned up and it's.

More than the sum of its thirty five hundred dollars parts.

So, um, yeah, yeah, that's that's.

So I think ultimately in the in the in the tail of the Pathfinder,

I think it sucks that I have to say, I think we absolutely made the right call.

I think it's still, but it's still tough.

We've been talking about a first gen Pathfinder forever

since the inception of the pod.

Genesis of the pod, if you will.

Yeah, I mean, granted, we've talked about probably.

There's probably if we if we had if we have

like a top list of cars that we've discussed

as one time owning on the pod, it's genuinely probably twenty five cars.

That's yeah, that's fair.

Like if I was to like say, what is this?

What is the car this pod focuses on?

They'd say something like a Pathfinder with a quad four swap.

I mean, anything with a quad anything with a quad four.

Well, yeah, some generation upon to prelude.

Right, um, I don't even know.

It just keeps going.

Azuzu Amigo, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, it goes on.

Celica all track. Pathfinders, Pathfinders.

I know I've talked a lot about trackers inside kicks.

You're right. Sure.

But yeah, dude.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about. Swift Swift GT.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's on that list.

So. So we'll just have to wait and see.

Maybe maybe this will be the best thing we've never done.

Maybe. Yeah, it was maybe like maybe we'll get caught up on some shit.

And then like the absolute perfect car will, you know, a

we'll show up in our lap like a mercury sable.

The what was it?

The the AEV, the aluminum intensive vehicle or the AIV.

Oh, that was like the show version.

It was the all aluminum bodied SHO.

Yeah, yeah, that was a mercury sable.

They sold like a hundred of them in Canada or something.

Like one of those will fall in our lap.

And knowing our luck, honestly, we'd get that we'd get that Pathfinder, right?

And it's cool. It's a very cool truck.

And then it would take us like two months to get to it or whatever the hell it would take.

In that meantime, an equally

quality across the board vehicle would come up and it would be the two door manual.

And we'd be like, fuck, you know, that happens, right?

So, yeah, it's just.

It happens. And so, yeah, we made the right call.

Yes, we are still fundamentally broken as individuals and as a team.

And this does nothing to change that.

This was simply a moment of clarity, a moment of post-project car nut clarity.

Yep. And so, yeah.

Yeah, it's it's we're back.

We're back. We're back in a sense of prenatilution.

We are. We're back.

We're back to it because I promise there's going to be other stuff that we're going to be.

Discussing that we'll fall into our laps or what have you.

And we're just not going to be able to say no, or we'll get we'll get like,

hey, I got the, you know, I sold my old truck or I sold the sprint or I sold whatever.

And but I'm immediately replaced it with three cars.

Yeah. And that's how that's how it goes, right?

Like I got to get the tracker out of there, man, because like,

I don't know why I was like lulled into a sense of like comfort.

That was OK to get that Volvo ready for the rally.

And I don't know what the fuck happened.

I think the week of vacation counted against me, right?

Like a little over a week off.

So that might have been something I didn't factor in.

But dude, I'm up against it.

The trackers still on my left.

Like it's like, I don't know if I know it's so bad, dude.

It's so bad.

Yeah, I gained a space, right?

If I could put something up in the air and park under it.

Yeah, yeah, additional project car storage.

Dude, it's just it's bad news.

It's bad news.

I just I really got it.

And I like the feeling of letting things go to you.

So I just got to I just got to start and I've been like, I'm not going to lie.

Like this stress has gotten to me.

So this past like I'd say since I've been back from vacation,

I have been working late nights in the garage to get the tracker like buttoned up.

So yeah, I need to I might have an opportunity tomorrow to work on

yeah, something maybe the aforementioned sprint.

And I think.

Yeah, I think probably.

The sprints probably give me the next car to go.

I really like it.

So cool.

But it's going to take up the space that a Swift GTI might take.

I don't know.

I get one of those.

I'd love to get one.

It is a fun hilarious little car.

It's just a death trap.

Yeah, and the seats are terrible on my back.

Like the Swift, like the Swift GTI is a major step forward in safety.

Yeah, exactly.

It adds like a hundred and twelve pounds or something.

Right.

But it revs it has more power.

It's it's probably balances it out.

Yeah, the same.

Because it's what a hundred horse, right?

Oh, yeah.

Or a hundred ten.

No, I think it's right at a hundred.

I think it's right at a hundred.

Yeah, which is, you know, it's only 30 more horsepower.

But that's like a that's got 50 nearly 50 percent percent jump.

And it's like higher revving and like very exciting.

I would kill to have one of those.

Everyone I find is just shitted up the.

Yeah, yeah, they're they're all hurt.

See, look, look, we're doing it.

We're doing it. We're not.

We're not talking. We're talking about like, oh, and then I'm going to find

this and then it's going to fall on my lap.

And that's the problem when we have.

Seventy seven cars on the short list of two shit we want to buy.

Let alone stuff that's not on the short list, but it's like too good of a deal.

Or I didn't, you know, I've never heard of one of those or I didn't know

that came in a manual and then like you end up trying to figure out how to buy it.

But the biggest problem, Frank, is I'd say like, and again, we do this to ourselves

is I have projects I'm excited to work on that keep getting pushed for

whatever reason, deprioritize, push further down the list.

Like I have a fucking ZR one that I just want to rip fucking nasty

donuts in and I can't because I that car has leaked every fluid

in every garage I've had it in for the past, I don't know.

What's it been three years plus?

Yeah. Yeah.

Same with the blazer.

The actual blazer is drivable, but still needs a lot of work to get to get

like beautiful enough to sell.

And these cars just keep getting pushed because I got to do the tracker.

Got to do the Volvo for the rally.

And then I really want to do the the Lexus being a tag team project.

Right.

So that's that becomes third in that fucking list, bro.

But I want to do these projects.

It's so fun to collect them, dude.

I'm not going to lie.

I get I get why these guys have fucking fields full of shit it out cars.

I get it. I fully like no questions now.

It's funny because I feel like we occupy the space between

the guy who's got like 70 acres of inherited farmland.

And it's just full of just shit rusting in the ground.

Mm hmm.

And then like if anyone asked if they would sell one of those hulks

even for way too much money, that dude gets like violent.

Sure.

Haces you off the property with a 12 gauge full of rock salt.

Right. Fair.

Between that guy and then like the

the billionaire who goes like,

I want a hundred and fifty car iconic car car collection,

but they must all be white and under a thousand miles.

And we occupy the space between those two people.

We're neither of two Corvette guys in that respect.

No, no.

But like I do often think like if all of a sudden

and this might have happened,

I have a lottery ticket on my refrigerator that I haven't checked.

So if I'm a multi, multi, multi millionaire and not know it,

first off, we're pushing the shit live unedited.

Just going to we're just going to go out and we'll get to celebrate

in an episode.

Also, I don't know.

I'd like to think my my.

Collecting habits would be the same.

They probably wouldn't.

Right. But I don't I'm not going to go like go get a Koenigsegg

and be kind of like the douche missile crew.

Oh, I think I would just do really dumb shit

like case swap a Mondial eight coupe or something

like I've always wanted to do.

I don't know. Do you like what you ever think about that?

Like, boy, if I had like a hundred million dollars,

like would my shit change?

You know, it's have like a nicer

V 50 wagon.

So like wagons.

It's a good it's a really good question.

And to be honest with you, man, like throughout life,

obviously income brackets have changed over time,

whether it be the struggle bus or, you know, times are good.

I've still always focused on the same shit, dude.

And I don't I don't I think the volume changes.

You know, I've splattered in some like good stuff.

Yeah, you had a good stuff.

Yeah, shit like that, you know, M3s and stupid stuff like that.

But like truth be told, I've always still been really into the same shit.

And like, yeah, I'll have more of that shit when times are good.

Right. But like, I don't think I would.

I'd probably go after like the cleanest quad fours out there,

like the old four, four, two, you know,

I'd go after that's the shit.

I'd go after where it isn't like a super competitive space,

but it's the stuff I really care about because I don't I don't care.

Honestly, the idea of owning a super car does nothing for me.

Like I have owned good cars, but then because they're dynamically good cars

to drive every car I've owned that's like considered a good car.

And I put my 300 ZX twin turbo in there, even though I got that thing

dirt cheap, my Cayman S, which I got dirt cheap.

And now those cars are neither of those cars is dirt cheap anymore.

But like dynamically good to drive cars is the only exception to my shipbox rule.

Question, I don't see that changing.

If a quartet of uncut dudes are all in the same room,

would that be a quad four skin or no?

I don't like the imagery that immediately popped up in my mind.

I mean, they don't have to be flailing them around at various RPM.

Why are they all large black men?

Oh, well, it's interesting.

I picture to them as like Euro Twinks.

But you know, what do I know?

Yeah, Mazel tov. Wait, no, that doesn't work.

Anyways, yeah.

Yeah, back to the the matter at hand, foot and mouth.

Job, job. The.

Yeah, you know, I think the same, right?

I think it would have like nice, like the same obscure shit nicer.

I probably I probably would have a couple of

like I don't see myself rushing out like getting a 40. No, I don't know.

But you'd go after Mark for Supra.

I could see you doing that. I have a Mark for Supra.

Yep. I'd have my I'd have my Mondial coupe.

I don't I don't know.

Like, I just, you know, in a world where cars,

you know, are you're driving around a little bit of like, you know,

putting yourself out there, representing yourself out there.

I'm always like, like, I would love an early viper.

I think you're so cool.

Oh, so cool.

I don't know if I'm drive around an early viper guy.

Like I don't I don't I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I think you would enjoy it.

I think it's a very crazy car for that you might like it.

And it's still a great price.

Yeah. No, I feel a great price for him.

Yeah.

All right, fine. I'm getting a viper.

Case swap. No.

I would do stupid things to like track down a really clean

like sob 93 X turbo wagon manual.

You know, like that kind of just stupid stuff like that.

I'd get in the body swapping shit, like I'd have my Shelby GT 350R

with like a 123 coupe body on it.

Gross. And just, you know, just just go to some rally

and just make people or go to a track track day

and just be just absolutely hosing people as a as an awful driver.

Myself right in what looks like a diesel one twenty one twenty three coupe.

That would be brilliant.

I would go Fiero GT with a Buick thirty eight hundred supercharged

tuned to the moon.

I think that'd be a good little fucking that that'd be good.

Yeah, it'd be real good.

Yeah, there's some good stuff up there.

So yeah, we would still be weird.

We'd just be like wealthy weird.

Is that what that is?

Well, you got a thirty eight hundred swap.

Look at this big fucking Mr.

Muddy bags rolling in you. Yeah, weird flex.

But yeah, it just it still catches on fire because yeah.

Oh, yeah, you can't take the you can't take the flame out of the Fiero

out of principle. Yeah.

Yeah. Interesting.

What's the hell's wrong with us?

Dude, I can't. I mean, we said no.

We said no to a fucking first gym pathfinder.

That's fucking good. That's good.

We're moving in the right direction.

I guess I guess I just.

Yeah, it's still available.

I can still we can still pull the trigger if we change our mind right here live on the air.

I'm just waiting for you to come back and say he's willing to take a thousand off

and I'm like just hit my credit card on the screen.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Shut up and take my free time.

Yep. Yeah.

God damn it.

Twenty twenty six projects. Let's go.

Yeah, I do need to thin the herd.

Yeah, I feel like that's same.

That you know what? That should be that if we ever decide to make merch.

That'll just be on a t-shirt in the herd.

I need to I need to thin the herd

with like, I don't know, like a like a crosshairs on that like big buck hunter video game.

Oh, yeah.

On a ship, just on a ship box instead of like on a buck.

Yeah, God, it's bad.

It's badly.

Golly.

Do we have any more to add to this mess?

No, we're done.

We're done with this bullshit.

It stresses me out.

But seriously, like it has like to me and I think we spoke about this before

and like an episode from years past.

I did I think we both actually talked about the the compounding pressure

and stress that having a fleet of vehicles does ultimately put on you.

And it's it's a reality right now.

I'm like I'm really pushing myself and it's not it's not where I want to be.

I like my project cars to be slow burns because I'm very methodical.

I'm very obsessed with the details.

And for me to have to like be up against a timeline

and squeeze in what I'm already fucking exhausted from work,

the thought of being out there and rushing to get a job done.

It takes it takes a little bit of the fucking delicious flavor off of it.

I'm not going to lie. I agree.

So then why do we do this to ourselves?

Because we have to save them all.

I know the ship box.

And I I'm victim to it, too.

Because it always is like, well, all it needs is like these seven things.

Right.

And of course, the seven turns in the 14.

Mm hmm.

Yep. And you don't have time to do two things other than seven, let alone 14.

Yeah. But you're right.

It does it takes some of the sparkle off of like.

Oh, it does. You know.

It's like it's like trying to solve a it's like trying to like, OK,

here, solve this fun kids puzzle.

But then there's like knowing there's like seven other puzzles underneath

like behind it and you're not allowed to sleep.

And there's a gun, an actual literal gun to your head.

That's like solving a kid's puzzle under duress.

We're just like, this should be fun.

I bought this fucking kids puzzle to have fun and like build like leisurely

build the puzzle and make listen to some like saw day.

Or that's a good metaphor, dude.

But like I'll add in that it's doing that childhood puzzle,

except your childhood bully kicks the fucking table that the puzzles on every

five minutes and it starts over. Yeah.

Yeah, except yeah.

Yeah, you have to do the puzzle,

but it's in the corner of your bedroom and you're doing the the the

puzzle on top of the cuckstool while while the bull is going to work.

Right. And you're just like.

And you just you just call the hooker mom, too, on top of everything.

Yeah, it's so embarrassing.

Yeah, though, you call the bull mom, it's a problem.

On that on that bombshell, there we go.

Should we speaking of puzzles and games,

should we play one puzzle, not the bull?

The bull, are you are you referring to our automotive print ad quiz game show?

I am. Yes. Nice.

Why don't you detail that while I pull up a little something to torture you this week?

I'm torture ready. We need more.

This is like a torturous episode. It's cathartic.

It's concerning.

I now feel like I need to work on cars on a Saturday.

Yeah, I'll be there with you with my family.

Yeah. OK, you pull up the ad.

What we're going to do here instead of working on bullshit is

and first off, we'll continue to complain about car bullshit.

Secondly, we're going to play a game where in today's spicy episode,

Chadwick is going to take a an advertisement from some sort of print

publication is going to read the type copy from it.

He's going to remove via his mind and personal editing skills.

Anything overly identifying, let's make model, etc.

From the ad, it will then be upon me within 10 minutes

and three guesses to come up based on the specifications

and the lies perpetrated in this print ad on what we're talking about.

What kind of car make model in approximate year?

Please play along at home.

It's barrels of fun.

It's more fun than solving a puzzle under duress

while your wife is picking the bull.

Chadwick, I'm ready. Let's go.

All right, let's do it.

My friend, I have for you a one pager vehicle

at a kind of elevated viewpoint, driver's side, three quarter

black and color and what can only be described as a fucking couple

in their eighties standing behind it.

Define, define fucking couple.

They've definitely had some sex.

Oh, OK. Decades, decades worth of sex.

They're in their eighties.

This isn't I don't mean it's from the eighties.

I mean, they are in their eighties.

But they're not actively in a penetrative embrace.

Hard to tell, dude, could be packing some heat.

The way she's just got a real hammer.

Yeah, he's now.

No, I'll show you after.

It's a trap.

OK, has a sign and name tag.

Let me zoom in. Oh, tripod, Ted.

Oh, wow. That means T.T.

Howdy, T.T.

Finally, it's OK.

If you've been thinking that spacious, smooth riding,

well built cars are a thing of the past.

Take comfort behind the wheel of a blank.

Here's a comfortably appointed stand with ample room for six.

Oh, wow. 69 if you count the couple and over 35 standard features,

including, take note, automatic transmission.

Wow. Power steering, power brakes,

dual remote mirrors and special sound insulation.

Blank is one car you can comfortably afford to own and maintain, too,

especially now with a savings of three hundred and seventy five dollars

when you buy the luxury equipment discount package.

Oh, I like luxury and discount in the same package.

That's a wonderful marketing team, right?

All right, including even more features of weight, my friend.

I need the AM FM stereo, so not just the AM

power windows and door locks, automatic speed control, tilt wheel and more

asterisks, blanks, most comforting feature.

However, maybe our five year, 50,000 mile power train, blah, blah, blah, blah.

There is a little bullet point here with a little technical jargon.

Not much. OK, it's going to be a little tough.

Take comfort blank V8 power.

Oh, lots of room.

OK, big trunk and a ride that smooths out the road.

OK. Hmm.

That's what I got for you, buddy.

That's what we got. Ten minutes.

OK, V8 double bench.

Getting the old timer going.

Just the fact that it's called the luxury

equipment discount package makes me think there's a one hundred percent

chance this is a domestic manufacturer.

God, 550 doesn't really help me.

This sounds like an early, like a first half of the 80s type product, though.

Based on AM flash FM, AM FM, dual remote mirror.

So if this is let's say this is a GM product, this could be a Buick Roadmaster.

This could be a Pontiac Parisian.

Hmm. I think.

I think you can get the fee in the Parisian.

Gosh, what was Oldsmobile?

Was that a 98?

Think there was an old 98.

Hmm.

I don't think the Regency.

It doesn't sound like a Chevy ad.

Though I suppose it could be a Caprice.

The big trunk.

Yeah, I mean, this is such.

This ad kind of reads like every single

midsize to full size American car built from 1980 to 1985.

That is fair.

Six passenger.

Right. I mean, that was a lot of them, not all of them.

And either ones that weren't like personal luxury.

Like that was code at the time for you got a console.

So I'm going to get the party started, I think.

I'm going to say this is a nineteen.

Eighty four.

Buick Roadmaster.

Hmm. Mastering the road.

Final answer.

Take comfort in the fact that we get to keep playing this quiz game

because it is not a Buick Master of the road.

Showed master.

How can I get?

Hmm.

I mean, this isn't that big of a hint

because I think I've got this pegged much like the bull do.

Is this is an American manufacturer, right?

Yes. Yeah. All right.

So I know what I already know.

I mean, this could be could be, I mean, Ford.

Could be a grand marquee.

Could be a could be a Vicky.

Um.

God, when did they kill off the LTD

because it went away and then it came back?

But when it came, have we done an LTD?

I don't know.

I'll help you out a little bit.

You are also spot on with your year.

OK, so within a year or two.

So you're right there.

So you know, yeah, don't start.

Don't jump off that ship.

That's a good ship to be on.

OK.

Good ship.

Well, they pop.

Boy, stunning radio here.

How about.

AM FM stereo, you know what?

I'm going to I'm going to jump over to Ford Motor Company here.

Oh, yes.

And if it's black.

Potentially like the bull.

What about I'm just going to go.

Yeah, let's do it.

Let's go.

Nineteen eighty four.

Mm hmm.

Ford LTD.

Final answer.

Continue to take comfort in the fact that it's not a Ford LTD, my friend.

What are we going to do to get you there, my friend?

What can we do?

God damn it.

Vehicle has a lot of chrome work.

Sure.

Like a lot.

Yeah.

That's vehicle literally has a monstrous trunk.

So that part is true.

Overhang for weeks.

Yep.

I mean, that's still I'm all picturing generic GM vehicle of this era.

What if I was telling you it was Mopar or no car?

Because you haven't even gone there yet.

Yeah.

Because the options are much fewer.

You've got much fewer.

You've got Chrysler Fifth Avenue.

You've got

Plymouth Fury and Dodge Diplomat.

That might be it.

Because the imperial

by this era turned into a K cars front wheel drive.

Before that it was a two door personal luxury coupe.

With the world's worst fuel injection system.

I'm going to say

I'm just going to shoot my shot.

I'm going to say this is a

1984 Chrysler 318 equipped Chrysler.

Jesus Chrysler Fifth Avenue.

Final answer.

It is not that vehicle.

Which one is it?

It is powered by that same motor.

At least it was an option.

Take comfort.

Dodge Diplomat.

It is.

V8 power.

Lots of room.

A big trunk and a ride that smooths out the road.

The old couple kind of

definitely square into the Diplomat.

The Chrysler M body.

What's funny is that car looks massive right now.

That was kind of compared to most of the GM stuff.

Wasn't that big?

The 98.

Yeah, it was smaller.

Cool car.

I can't unless I saw a Dodge Diplomat.

A lot of them were police cars.

Yeah.

So I sat in one not too long ago.

Maybe like 10 years.

That is long.

10 years ago.

And I love that the interior has all the metal switches

and everything.

Yeah.

It's like a wood laminate face gauges.

Everything is so substantial.

Yeah.

Everything is very cool.

These are neat cars.

I kind of like them.

The last of the rear-wheel-drive big V8 sedans.

Yeah.

Right?

Like to be honest.

Everything like you said got phased out for front-wheel-drive.

Much smaller vehicles.

Diplomat was around for a while from the 70s.

Yeah.

And it was like a...

It was there, same with the Plymouth Fury.

That was like the 70s to 80s Mopar version of like the Crown Vic.

That's right.

Grand Marquis, you know, fleet use car.

A lot of taxi use and taxi packages and stuff.

Yeah.

I think they're pretty cool.

I think they look neat.

They're very comfortable inside, too.

You got the front bench, rear bench.

And again, like I said, all the switches and everything are so substantial in these cars.

And it's all...

Everything in there, it's kind of like a Jag, right?

Yeah.

A Jag up until like a few years ago.

Everything's metal, wood.

Everything's heavy leather, right?

Leather is the third element involved in the interior.

But yeah, I like these cars.

I got a little soft spot for them.

And they ride, like they said, smooths out the road.

It smooths out the road because it's a fucking wallowing boat that you don't feel anything.

If you've ever driven in one of these things, it's unbelievably smooth.

Yeah.

It's funny.

Like you won't feel anything.

You'll hit a bump and you won't feel anything, but you'll hear the whole dashboard go...

Right.

Like nothing moves.

You're like, why did it...

I didn't feel a thing, but the whole dashboard just sounds like it exploded.

Right.

And when you turn the wheel, it's like pitch and yaw where the body kind of

just fucking floats.

Yeah.

Good times.

Good times as well.

Great seats though.

If you want to talk about good bench seats, these are cozy places to sit.

How fun would it be to get one of those and just put like a hot 340 or 360?

We'd die.

Hot Mopar small block in it.

Yeah, dude.

Out of like a Plymouth Duster or something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or you could just build a stroker motor or put a Magnum Crate motor in it.

Easy 400 and whatever horsepower.

Keep the bench seat.

Keep the bench.

Maybe have like a ratchet strap lap belt to just squish you down into the...

And then you and five of your closest friends go on a rally.

Maybe put like a T5 in it.

You know, five-speed swap it.

Hell yeah.

And that'd be bitchin'.

How would that be on a rally?

Dude, it'd probably be pretty cheap because if you...

Well, one's the last time you start a clean diplomat for sale.

First off.

But if you could score one of those, that'd be killer.

Yeah.

You're right.

That'd be a cool car.

That would be.

And comfy when you're cruising too.

Another one to put on the list.

Damn it.

Diplomat, Fifth Avenue, Plymouth Fury, Grand Fury even.

Yeah, oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Valiant effort, my friend.

I like what you did there.

Mopar puns.

I'm trying to think because there's other...

Yeah, anyways.

Something about the bull in a Magnum, but we'll let that one go.

Should we talk about projects?

We can.

Project car progress.

I mean, I think it's about as effectively as I can bury the lead with this topic at hand.

I fucked up.

I bought another car.

God damn it.

I already know.

I forgot.

I forgot I have...

I forgot I've got sound effects buttons that I never use anymore.

Let's try this.

Let's see if this is the right one.

That works.

I can't hear it.

What was it?

It was like doop, doop, doop.

Oh, was it?

Oh, shit.

Okay.

Who knows if it actually gets captured in the audio, but whatever.

Yeah, I can't hear through my mic, but that's fine.

2000.

Mm-hmm.

Suzuki Vitara.

Not a grand Vitara.

Very different.

Just the basic Vitara.

Two doors, soft top, medium blue metallic.

I don't know what the actual color is called.

With a white vinyl top, cloth interior, two wheel drive, five speed.

I believe it has genuinely zero options.

Nice.

No AC.

Oh.

Tape, factory tape deck.

Okay.

2000.

No CD.

Hand crank windows.

Mm-hmm.

And it's kind of glorious.

113,000 miles, 1.6 liter.

Good for what, 96 horsepower?

Did you get the, so first off, welcome to the club.

Mm-hmm.

That's what the Sidekick got renamed to.

Yeah.

And Sidekick is also the same as the Tracker.

And then it became the Chevy Tracker.

Chevy Tracker.

Yeah.

Was its partner.

Did you get the 8-valve or 16-valve motor?

16.

I think it was only 16 by 2000.

It was only 16-valve.

I think in some markets they still had the 8-valve, but you might write in the States, I think.

So first off, congrats, fancy pants with your fucking 16-valve motor, whatever, dude.

Yes.

I used to know you, bro.

I used to know you.

Do you want to know the catch?

There's always one.

So the catch is, first off, it needs a hard, it needs a replacement soft top, the back

window, where like the zipper is all stitched in, all the stitching is ripped out.

So common.

It needs a new soft top.

I've done some cursory searches or actually not even like cursory plus.

Like I've done some significant searching.

I can get a replacement one in black really easily.

I found one place that has an OEM white one and they stocked them and it's like $900.

So correct me if I'm wrong.

And I did a lot of research and it's been a while.

I have a new top.

I'm going to put on mine.

Yes.

I can't remember.

Is yours a one-piece top?

No.

It has the separate side windows.

It's got the separate.

So that separate side windows included a separate, like a target top piece over the center.

Yes.

There's a gap.

That started with my year.

Before then, I think it was a single piece.

Well, mine is an entirely different body style.

Mine is a more roundy one that started in 99.

But I think the tops are like universal after a certain age.

I think 95 to yours is the same top.

The earlier ones had a separate top till 94 and it was like one piece.

So I have a white one because mine came with a white one.

Rampage.

So add this to your search.

Rampage is a company that made basically the OEM reps are the highest reviewed ones.

I somehow scored one from a dude locally that had it stashed away.

It was his last one.

Nice.

So they are hard to come by.

Hopefully your windshield is good because I think I bought the last one in California.

And you're sure they're the same?

The windshield is?

I think so.

Because the trucks look vastly different.

They look incredibly different, but I can check.

So you have a 2,000?

Yeah.

So it's a more roundy generation that went from 99 to 04, I think.

The searching.

It potentially could be, you know what?

I'll have to look.

Okay.

It looks like they changed.

You're right.

They might have changed them.

And I might be wrong on the roof too because it maybe it was just the end years had that

separation, but then they kept that functionality because if you go get the wrong one from mine,

it'll just be a fixed piece.

Right.

The early ones had that.

But mine has the rip the sides off of the Velcro and everything.

Yeah.

And when you do it rips the stitching out.

And all the Velcro is gone on mine too.

And your back windows.

Your back windows probably absolutely opaque.

It's curled up in the back of the truck.

I'll have to look.

But yeah, so the catch is so it needs a top.

Not the big deal.

Runs and drives great.

So this was a, so this was a car donation car and they gave up on it.

They gave up on it because it refuses to set the catalytic converter monitor.

So what happened was a person owned the car for a long time.

It's their drive occasionally little convertible weirdo car.

And then the alternator died on it.

They parked it for five years with the dead alternator and then gave up on it.

So they donated it.

Easy alternator job on that, by the way.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

So they put an alternator in it.

Alternator.

Done.

Could not.

They got all the monitors set.

Cat monitor wouldn't set.

They replaced both upstream and downstream O2 sensors.

Okay.

With I think like Chineseium basic ones that are terrible.

Sure.

drove it a few extra hundred miles.

Still would not set the cat monitor.

They're like, we probably, we need to get like actual like branded O2 sensors.

So they put a pair of Denso upstream downstream O2 sensors in it.

I would have done NTKs, but that's NTK.

Yep.

Same.

Same story.

Like another 200 miles.

They have like 600 miles trying to set the cat monitor.

Damn.

No check engine lights, nothing.

No stumbling.

Everything drives great.

No weird anything.

Once at the cat monitor.

So they gave up on it, right?

So I bought it for an inconsequential amount of money, but I got a good deal on it.

Because California, I can't get a title.

They can't sell it.

It'll stay in the name of the donor.

It's a whole thing, but I'm not going to fuck them.

They, they are able to sell to me and I'm going to, I, again, you know what?

It's captain save a, save a ship box.

I can save it.

I can fix her.

So I haven't done much.

I drove it.

I test drove it and said, yeah, it was great.

Okay.

Here you go.

And then I drove it home and it was poking around.

Okay.

Let me poke or just poke around under the hood and see what I can see.

So I see the shiny new alternator.

I also noticed, again, not driving it that long.

It didn't quite look like it got all the way to operating time.

Like it was just like, instead of being right in the middle, just like, you know, 10 degrees

off of towards the cold side of the middle.

Okay.

And then I look and I see the thermostat housing is a very light leak, like a drip drip.

I'm like, okay.

And it's dripping directly onto the brand new alternator.

Now, I don't know if that's what killed the last alternator.

Didn't help.

But if what I do know is cars, especially in this era, early OBD, they do not like to run

drive cycles and set monitors if they are not at operating temp.

And also usually you got to come up to operating temp within a set amount of time.

And if it doesn't see that, some cars will throw like a fault for it.

Some won't.

And it just will not set the camp.

Because the car's got to be hot and the car's got to be at operating temp to run the drive

cycle for the camera.

So I'm willing to bet dollars to deal those.

If I replace and I've already ordered it, nobody had it locally for the housing.

I can get the thermostat but not the housing.

If I'm going to do it, I'm spending extra 15 bucks and replacing the housing.

Yep.

It'll be here in a few days for rock auto.

Hopefully future sponsor of the pod.

Did you get that ascent?

I just did a ascent thermostat in my tracker.

They didn't list one.

I got a motor rad, which is fine.

Yeah.

And then same with the motor rad.

Do you think yours is missing?

I've definitely opened up thermostat housings and found lack of thermostat either.

Or it could be stuck open, which I've seen.

I think it's stuck.

I think it's stuck open.

That's my suspicion.

Sat for fuck all.

Who knows what the condition of the coolant that went in there.

Yeah.

And then sat for five years.

So it could have been one rusty boy.

And then he cycled once and then stuck open and it was a wrap.

Could be.

Yeah.

So I don't know.

I might be wrong.

Maybe needs a cat.

But it's not throwing any faults.

It's not throwing.

There's no nothing.

No 420.

Usually you get the P0420.

Not getting that.

No oxygen sensor faults.

So I that's this.

This is my working theory and we're going to find out.

I like it.

Yeah.

So I have a car and I have to get it to pass the ball again and put a top on it.

And then I don't know what I'll do.

Probably drive it around for a little bit.

And then winter's going to come and I'm going to freak out because again,

like we said before, oh, it's raining and they got this car.

And.

Winter is coming.

How about my my PCP kind of parallels you.

It's tracker work on my 95 Geo tracker.

Dude,

a known fault with these vehicles is the speedometer.

Now the speedometer can fail completely the gauge cluster,

but more than likely the speedometer cable.

It's a known weakness for these vehicles.

They get loud.

They skip around.

Mine was accurate.

It didn't jump around,

but it fucking screamed like out of control.

So when I went to remove it from the.

So it's going to either go into a transfer case.

If you have a four wheel drive or it's going to go right into the

transmission.

If you have a two wheel drive like I do,

it had this fucking thing.

It looked like it was font from the forties.

And it said automatic speedometer disconnect this big metal tube.

And then the speedometer cable was into that and it had wires going

to it.

So I think there's a switch in the vehicle where you can

disconnect the speedometer when you're towing.

Remember my vehicle was towed its entire life and it had

like the tow hooks and the tow equipment and everything.

I think at one point whoever outfitted that thing because

it's got I'm going to sell it with all that equipment too.

So whoever wants a perfect tow rig like that.

I looked it up.

That towing stuff is so expensive to get specially made for that

vehicle.

Yeah.

So I have all that.

I think at one point when they outfitted it had it,

but they never used it.

And I'm wondering if the noise was coming from that unit.

Like that piece had failed.

I looked online dude.

I couldn't even find it.

Damn.

So weird.

So.

Number one salvaged out of a plane wreck or something.

It's so weird.

Like it was probably something like a vintage thing that was

retrofitted and most most speedometer cables are universal

during that period.

Yeah.

So it probably just it's an addition and then you just it's

hot wired in.

I can see where they wired it, but I'm going to remove that

first off.

I put a bunch of and it was kind of crusty where it went

into the transmission and that's usually what causes

binding and speedometer noise.

So I took a wire brush.

I have a gun cleaning kit that's perfect for this stuff.

Like the very narrow like wire brushes to get in there

and I put white lithium grease, which is the best grease to

use for stuff like that.

Next, I got to trace the cable all the way to the gauge

cluster, which sucks dick.

I hate gauge clusters.

You know this.

Oh, yeah.

But I got to pull the grommet out and I'm going to now

that I have all that slack, I can pull the gauge cluster

out all the way.

I'm going to lube that end too.

I'm good at lubing these things and take it for a

drive.

If that gets rid of the noise.

Boom.

I'm a happy man.

I wish they would have used that speedometer disconnect

to make the mileage.

I know.

Should be.

Yeah, exactly.

At one point.

But if not, I do have an extra speedo cable and that's

kind of an operation because what you got to do is

disconnect it from the gauge cluster face and then

tie some twine or whatever to it because when you pull

it through, you want to tie that to the new cable and

pull it up because it goes in on the passenger side

of the firewall and then goes behind all the HVAC

and everything.

Literally, unless you want to pull the dash, that's

how you do it.

And it's still a pain in the dick hole.

But I'm hoping not to do that.

I hope my lube method works.

That's what I've been working on.

I still have the car up in the air because I have faith

doing some more work on it.

So I can't test that yet.

So I'm hoping I take it for the next test drive

tomorrow, hopefully.

And it's nice and quiet because it fucking howled.

Dude, it fucking like so loud.

The rest of the truck runs so quietly.

Yeah.

Even at highway speed.

So that thing just screams.

If that fixes it, I'm so happy.

That's something I couldn't sell.

Like, I don't think I could sell the car in

that condition.

Yeah.

It's so miserable to endear.

But it's an issue.

So you're lucky that yours doesn't do that.

But hopefully I fixed it for just the price of

white lithium grease.

If not the cable.

I think I paid like 18 bucks for another.

Right.

So cable.

So I just rather not install it because it's

pain in the butt.

But that's me, man.

Yeah.

That's my PCV.

The head gasket is cheap.

Right.

It's the rest of it.

Time belts and water pumps, right?

Yep.

Cool.

Shut it down, man.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Thank you, friends, for indulging us in what was

probably a more cathartic episode than ever.

And then at the end of it, I still bought a car.

So thank you for putting up with our nonsense.

It's truly appreciated.

If you want to watch the nonsense, if you're

just listening, you can see the awful things

that are taking place while I'm talking right now.

Great.

Do so on the YouTubes.

Yes, we're there.

If you want to watch us ignore an Instagram page,

you can do that as well.

We're at APA podcast on the Instagram.

And thank you for not ignoring it.

However you choose to indulge us.

So thank you for that.

If you want to follow the nonsense, I'm up

to taking pictures of cars at the photographer's garage.

How about you?

Good, sir.

Good, Chadwick.

Yeah.

No, Auto Obscure Garage on YouTube.

Lots of tracker stuff coming up.

I need to start actually editing some film.

I think the next piece I'm going to have is

the motor mount.

I only did the driver side because it's

literally the worst fucking thing ever.

Watch the video and find out why.

It's horrible, guys.

And I'll have the...

Like it's anti-semitic.

It's just the worst.

It's worse than that.

Come on.

That's nothing compared to this tracker

edge amount.

God damn it.

Anyway.

Yeah.

Fabulous.

Another politically charged episode.

Ooh, anti-semitism is bad hot take.

We're edge lords over here.

Dude, that's going to have the speedometer cable in it too.

So check it out again.

All your rescues, restorations, reviews.

Check that out.

But guys, again, we appreciate it.

We love you and we'll see you in like seven days.

Goodbye.

Maybe we'll have a new car by then.

Probably.

Probably a couple.

Bye.

Oh, God.

Bye.

Episode #188 - We Do This to Ourselves

Chevrolet Corvette

Nissan Pathfinder

Ford Mustang

Toyota Celica

Mercury Sable

Volkswagen Gti

Volvo V50

Porsche Cayman

Toyota Supra

Saab X Turbo

Pontiac Fiero

Buick Roadmaster

Holden Caprice

Ford Ltd

Chrysler Fifth

Plymouth Fury

Chrysler Imperial

Ford V8 Sedan

Mercury Grand Marquis

Dacia Duster

Suzuki Vitara

Chevrolet Tracker

About this episode

Original notes