Fired on Friday
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Part
4L60E
The 4L60E is a type of automatic transmission made by GM that helps the car change gears automatically. It is used in lots of GM cars and trucks but sometimes can have problems after many miles.
Part
automatic transmission
An automatic transmission helps your car change gears by itself so you don't have to do it manually when you drive.
Car
Chevrolet C6
The Chevrolet Corvette C6 is a fast and stylish car made between 2005 and 2013. It's popular because it has a strong engine and is fun to drive. People often talk about it because it’s a cool sports car that doesn’t break down too much.
Term
big block
A big block is a big and powerful type of engine that gives a car lots of strength and speed.
Company
JB Weld
JB Weld is a special glue that can fix broken metal parts on cars and make them strong again.
Part
bell housing
The bell housing is a metal cover that holds important parts between the engine and the transmission.
Car
Chevrolet Corvette C6
The Corvette C6 is a type of sports car made by Chevrolet between 2005 and 2013. It's faster and better than the older versions.
Part
4L60 transmission
The 4L60 is a kind of automatic gearbox used in many GM cars. It helps the car change gears automatically but can wear out or break over time.
Part
350 turbo
The 350 turbo is a type of automatic gearbox used in many cars made by GM. It helps the car change gears automatically.
Part
AOD transmission
The AOD is a type of automatic gearbox made by Ford that helps cars save fuel by adding an extra gear for highway driving.
Brand
Subaru
Subaru is a car company from Japan that makes cars known for being good in snow and rough roads because they have special engines and all-wheel drive.
Part
valve body
The valve body is like the brain inside an automatic transmission that tells the car when to change gears by controlling fluid pressure. It helps the car shift gears automatically without the driver doing it.
Part
snap rings
Snap rings are small metal rings that keep parts inside the transmission from moving around or falling apart.
Part
hardened steel drums
Hardened steel drums are strong parts inside an automatic transmission that help it work better and last longer.
Part
torque converter
The torque converter is a part that helps the car change speed smoothly without turning off the engine.
Concept
transmission corrosion
Transmission corrosion is when water gets inside the transmission and causes the metal parts to rust. This can happen if the vehicle sits still for a long time without being driven.
Term
transmission fluid
Transmission fluid is a special oil that helps the car's transmission work smoothly and stay cool. It also helps the moving parts inside the transmission not to wear out.
Term
transmission vent
A transmission vent is a tiny hole that helps air move in and out of the transmission so it doesn't get too much pressure inside. But sometimes, water can sneak in through this vent and cause problems.
Part
gasket
A gasket is like a seal or a sticker that stops oil or other fluids from leaking out between parts of a car's engine or transmission.
Part
O-ring
An O-ring is a small rubber ring that helps stop liquids from leaking out where parts connect in a car.
Part
forward drum
A forward drum is a part inside an automatic transmission that helps the car change gears smoothly.
Part
clutch packs
Clutch packs are groups of plates inside a transmission that help the car switch gears by sticking together or coming apart.
Part
micrometer
A micrometer is a tool that helps you measure very small distances or thicknesses, kind of like a super accurate ruler. Mechanics use it to make sure parts fit just right.
Part
bearing
A bearing is a small part that helps other parts spin easily inside the car, so things don't get stuck or wear out fast.
Part
sprag
A sprag is a part inside a car's transmission that lets parts spin one way but not the other, helping the car move smoothly.
Car
Ford Contour
The Ford Conter is a type of van made by Ford that people use to carry tools or goods for work. It's like a big car for businesses.
Car
Chevrolet Avalanche
The Chevrolet Avalanche is a big truck made between 2001 and 2013 that can carry lots of stuff and also be comfortable for people to ride in. It has a special feature that lets you make more space for cargo by folding part of the back seat. People like it because it works well for both carrying things and driving with family.
Car
Volkswagen Beetle
The Volkswagen Super Beetle is a type of old Volkswagen car that looks like a bug. It has better parts than the first Beetle, so it drives smoother and has more space in the front.
Car
Ford V8
A Ford V8 is a type of engine made by Ford with eight cylinders arranged in a V shape. It gives cars strong power and is famous in many Ford cars.
LIVE
Are you really digging for peace?
Or is that just a lie?
Tell to help us sleep.
Sure that you really want real behind all the stories that go.
Still remembers fire.
Grass remembers rain.
Every scar tells the story.
Come here.
Welcome to the wrecking yard.
I am Jerry Wayne Longmar.
Y'all, I presumably still y'all, all are welcome here in the church of internal combustion.
We just ask that you show up with an open heart.
Woo, Lordy.
Y'all, it's one o'clock in the PM on a Sunday, which means I am running quiet behind.
Busy week. I have a litany of excuses to tell you why I didn't get to take care of all this this week.
None of them are that good.
Just busy week. Nothing worked out the way I wanted it to this week. Everything was topsy-turvy stuff going on.
Had a show last night.
Nacodotus will talk a little bit about that.
And I got into town.
I don't know. It was like 2 a.m. last night and I was like, here's what I'll do.
I'll set my alarm for 7 a.m.
We'll get up. I'm going to finish writing podcasts.
I'm going to finish writing the Wally Bottoms.
And I had everything outlined, but we'll get up.
I'm going to do all that recorded my normal time.
Then when my alarm went off at 7 a.m.,
EnterJW woke up and said,
To hell with that podcast and to hell with the Wally Bottoms.
Y'all can all kiss my ass and I'm going back to bed.
And he did.
Then I didn't wake up till nearly 10.
And holy cow, I've been writing like a madman all morning on the porch.
A little coffee.
Get this all put together.
Hopefully I get it edited up in time.
If not, I screwed up this week.
But if so, hope you guys are here.
Hope you guys are having a good time in the chat.
Woo, lord, lord, lord, lord.
What a lot.
Oh my goodness, my goodness.
It has been a week, ladies and gentlemen.
I am
I've been working on my avalanche, you know, about the avalanche from David.
And he offered me the opportunity.
David, when we first talked about the avalanche, my concern, I was like, it's got 185,000 miles.
So another transmission ain't got a lot.
You know, those transmissions are good about 200k.
And you know, I had one get 388k on a 4L-60E.
Like everybody, you know, we've talked about that.
People bash on the 4L-60E.
But GM put that damn transmission in everything, everything, everything, everything.
High production rates equal high failure rate.
Every time you're going to get a high failure number when you got a high production number.
That's just the way it works.
It's the way manufacturing works.
The more you make of something, the more of them are going to break.
But
I'm a bit of an automatic transmission fishinado.
I broke just about all of them.
And they all break.
I ain't found the magic one.
You know what?
I ain't never broke a C6.
I had a C6 and a Ford behind a big block.
And I run the dog piss out of that C6 and it never gave up the ghost.
And it even had a broken ear on the bell housing that my father JB welded back together.
And we sold at some 50.
That JB weld was still holding strong.
So I tell you, I never broke a C6.
Boy, I broke it.
I broke A500s.
I broke 4L-60s.
I broke $700.
I broke 350 turbos.
I broke so many AODs.
So many AODs.
You can break them all.
You can break them all.
So David's a master builder, right?
David used to own transmission shops.
And what David does now is he just builds brother shops.
He kind of got out.
He backed out of that, you know, some of y'all there long time listeners know his wife died unexpectedly.
And it shook her.
He has two little girls to raise.
He couldn't spend all his time managing somebody else's shops anymore.
He had to work on things for himself.
And he's just a hell of a builder.
He's so good at what he does, but he builds all the really complicated, the Subaru's and all the really complicated stuff for a bunch of shops here in Houston and constantly going.
He offered me this opportunity when I was buying the truck.
He said, well, he said, if you want, he said when his main shop day works at the most used to be, it was a shop he started.
So it was a shop he owned on Shepherd and he sold it to a guy had a whole bunch of other shops.
And then in the time periods past since then, that guy is no longer involved.
And that guy sold off all his shops.
And one of the managers that worked underneath David ended up buying that shop.
He's really good dude.
His name is Rob.
You're going to hear me talk more about him.
Rob's a good guy.
I like Rob.
I like Rob a great deal.
Rob's come to some shows and had the opportunity to bullshit with Rob.
I just think he's a good dude.
I really like him.
You know, I ain't got nothing to say about his manager style or any of that kind of stuff because I don't know anything about it.
And so I don't know what it's like to work for Rob, but Rob seems like a really good man.
You know, I like Rob and Buddy David him, obviously have a good work relationship.
And David builds a lot of his units at Rob's shop.
They're on Shepherd.
So it's not technically David's shop.
It's Rob's shop.
David offered me this opportunity.
He said, man, we'll take that transmission out and I'll teach you how to build it.
He said, then make good content.
You can film it.
I'll teach you how to build it.
And I'm just going to tell you what to do.
You're going to do it all yourself.
It's fine, but that also takes a lot of time because I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
You know, I don't have a clue.
I've only ever tried to build one transmission ever in my life and it went really poorly.
So I've never dove off into it again.
I'm like most of you, it all looks like voodoo to me.
Looking at the underside of a bow body is the most confusing thing in the world.
It's just like how in the hell who dreamed this horse shit up, right?
What, what do, because you know, originally it just had to be some dude in his shop.
It was like, I'm tired of shifting gears.
Let me see if I can figure out a way to make this machine do it for me and come up with the idea of a valve body and fluid pressure,
applying clutches and drums and bands and all kinds of just magical sorcery.
David looks at sees everything as it should be exactly how it works.
He's a brilliant, brilliant person, brilliant, brilliant man.
Just, just incredibly smart and memory like a steel trap.
You can, you can recite facts and figures and fluid pressures and stuff like that till the cows come home.
Just, just really, he's one of the more intelligent people I've ever known in my entire life.
There's a lot of people like, oh, the smartest guy in the room, but David really is most of the time the smartest guy in the room.
Guarantee if it's just me and him in the room, he's the smartest guy in the room.
Just really, I'm very blessed for his friendship and this opportunity doesn't mean it doesn't come without some drawbacks and it's going to take longer,
which sucks because I'm out of a car longer, but that's just the way it goes.
And if somebody's offering do you a favor, you know, we used to have, yeah, if somebody's offering you do your favor,
you got to, you got to kind of take that favor as they can give it.
So at the same time that David's trying to help me do this and Rob has graciously allowed me to hang out at his shop,
even though I'm not an employee and work on my transmission in his facility and use his resources as parts washer and, you know,
all these things and David's resources and tools to do this.
That's a that's a pretty tremendous gift.
It's not one to be looked at crossways.
It's a tremendous, tremendous gift.
So last week, the week before last, I got to go up there on Friday,
took them, they're doing the R&R, they're removing the transmission, putting it back in for me.
I told you if you gave me a deal on that somebody gives you a deal, you got to wait until they can get around to do it.
You know, Rob's trying to keep the shop running and make money.
My job ain't making him no money.
So I had to wait when they can get to it and do it and they were finally able to get to it and do it, pull the transmission.
I went there Friday and David taught me how to disassemble the transmission.
Disassembling transmission sounds, disassembling anything sounds easy.
Taking something apart doesn't sound all that complicated, but disassembling an automatic transmission is a very complicated thing.
There's snap rings and all kinds.
You got to figure out what's holding what together and what order to take it all apart.
Luckily, I had David to guide me through that process, got it all disassembled and then made parts list.
When we sat down, we talked about what all we were going to order for it.
We're going to put some hardened steel drums in it and a stiffer shell, a better shell in it.
We're going to put a shift kit, a trans-go shift kit in it, which requires a bunch of work on the, there's like a little steel, I don't know what it's called,
but the little plate between the valve body and the body of the transmission that kind of maintains fluid pressures and stuff.
You got to make some modifications, some machining modifications that plate the valve body.
There's shift kit, but shift kit's supposed to kind of improve, tighten the shifts a little bit so you get a little less flaring between shifts
and a snappier grab on the clutches, usually provide a little more, it's not for like racing or anything, it's just, I mean some shift kits are,
but that's not what this is, we're not putting like a high stall torque converter in that kind of shit.
That's like stinging or slamming in the seat or anything like that.
We just want it shifted a little snappier so we get a little more longevity out of the clutches and keep better fluid pressure, that sort of thing.
Just get a little more longevity out of transmission and building this to be something to last.
And we've had to replace some parts because the truck did sit for a while in a field and this is wild to me that a transmission could get rust in it because it just doesn't sound likely.
It sounds like this thing filled with transmission fluid, which is repellent to water and all that good stuff in this closed sealed unit.
You wouldn't think moisture, but water is undefeated, right?
Moisture and water is undefeated.
When it's not being driven, that fluid's not being coated over all the parts.
It's sitting, residing in the transmission and it has a little vent and that vent allows condensation, moisture to get in, you start getting, so I had some pieces we had to replace.
We had to look at, there's a very long job of cleaning parts.
There's over 250 moving parts that have to be disassembled and probably 40 steel hard parts that have to be reused and cleaned up.
I don't know what I'm doing, so I'm trying to clean everything the best I can, but I don't know how clean it's got to be or how clean it doesn't be.
David gave me some chatting about my cleaning, told me I was fired, said it wasn't a very good cleaner and I had to go back and clean some of my parts before we could do any kind of reassembly.
But it was kind of a thing where my schedule gets really busy at the end of the week and his schedule's really busy at the beginning of the week.
I couldn't go in there Monday because Monday's day Rachel goes and does all the groceries and Costco and all that good shit and the P.O. box and all that stuff and I hang out with the kids and work on projects here around the house.
We only got to one car right now, so Rachel needs a car to do all that, so I told Dave man last week.
So if I can come in Tuesday, I got Tuesday, Wednesday free, Thursday I take Junie to music lessons and we're down to one car and I got to go to Friendswood that takes a while.
So Thursday gets eaten up with Junie's music lessons during the day and Friday open, but also knew I had a show Saturday and I was going to be gone most of the day Saturday and I had other stuff.
I booked a commercial, I'm filming a commercial next week and so I'd do some things to get ready for that and a couple quick little auditions to get the part and it's nothing glamorous.
I'm playing a plumber, so it's a stretch showing off my range.
I'm going to play a run of the mill plumber handing somebody an invoice, so I'm really putting my talents out there best I can, but it's quick cash and it does go in my reel and it gives me more experience and being on set.
You know, these avenues that I haven't done a lot of, I have to start at the ground floor, the writing, the literature, the acting, but it's exciting again.
You know, comedy, I won't say this wrong way, but it's not exciting anymore.
I had something crazy happen to me on stage last night that's never happened to me, but comedy is not as exciting as it used to be, but it's what happens when you get really good at something that gets less exciting.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm a good comic.
And it feels more like this is just a thing I know how to do and I'm real good at doing it and I love doing it, but it's not like while I'm doing this literary stuff or it's like, oh, I'm the low man on the totem pole.
Again, I get to build myself up, work myself up again.
There's there's a joy in that there's joy in being the low man on the totem pole and having to earn your earn your rep again.
So the acting and that kind of stuff's fun like that.
Anyway, so head shit going on Saturday.
Plus, we're going to leave to go to Nacogdo just me opening that.
Well, then Tuesday come around and David got tied up with a problem card down at another shop and we couldn't get together Tuesday and do stuff.
And Wednesday come along and he was like, Hey, man, I got to run down parallel and check out this other car since I get back.
I hit you up.
He hits me up.
He's like, man, he goes, I can't really go into it.
There's a lot of tension at the shop.
The employee in the shop, the things aren't going well between him and the manager and there's a lot of tension in the shop.
It's not a good day for you to be there and kind of be in the way.
And I agree, right?
They're already doing me this huge kindness.
I'm like, yeah, of course not.
Granted, the timeline sucks, but they're doing me this huge kindness and I understand.
I don't belong there and I don't need to be there when shit's tense and stuff going on.
All right.
He hit me up Thursday and you know, I don't expect him to keep up my schedule any more than I keep up with his.
I can barely keep up with mine.
And I'm sure he has to work to keep up his and he hit me up.
He's like, hey, man, you won't come in and work.
Man, I got to go to Friendswood to do stuff with my kid.
I said, man, can I call you in the morning?
You think I can come in Friday?
He said, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I called him Friday morning after I went to the gym and everything and he said, hey, he said, I'm about to go to breakfast.
Rob, the guy owns the shop, owns the shop.
So I'm talking to Rob about it.
There's still a lot of tension going on in the shop, but I'd like to get you in here working on your transmission.
It calls me.
He's like, everything's good.
Come up here, but just kind of stay out of the way.
And if somebody says anything to you or whatever, just let me fight the fight.
You know, there's just a lot of tension and stuff going on.
None of my business.
It's fair.
It isn't.
Yes, sir.
This is the way a blue collar work.
This is the way of trade work.
There's often tension.
There's often somebody who's not happy.
There's often somebody who's on the verge of getting fired.
There's often somebody who's on the verge of quitting.
This is the way these things go.
If you've worked these jobs, you understand.
I understand.
But dig it to get there Friday.
And I cleaned all the parts and there's a lot of work cleaning those parts.
Cleaned all the parts, you know, scraping all the little gasket with a razor blade off
the bow body.
And it's just, it's mind numbing shitty work, but you got to do it.
You got to do it right.
Because otherwise putting transmission back together, things could go wrong.
You don't have to build these things in a hermetically sealed environment, but do
need pretty clean unit to go back together with.
You know, a little piece of debris behind a check ball can burn up a whole unit and
$1,000 worth of parts.
Just like that.
A little piece of gasket material stuck in a fluid passage.
There's your investment in parts down the drain and your R&R money down the drain.
So now you got to pull it again, build it again.
I'm hoping not to have to do that.
It's my first year I've been, even when I'm building under somebody else's guidance,
I can still screw up and pinch an O-ring or do something.
I'm having to really rely, it's a little anxiety inducing, you know, because I don't know how
I can screw up, but I can think of a million ways I can screw up.
But it did get to build my first forward drum.
And that was fun.
And David kind of walked me through it.
He's like, you know, we started assembling it and checking all the clearances and matched
my clutches up to my old clutches and started packing my clutch packs in my forward drum
and got it all put together.
And I said, well, you know, it feels a little loose in there.
And he said, well, it's got to have, you know, he said, we're looking for about 40,000 clearance
and show me how to check that with my crometer.
And then while I was trying to check that, and we put that forward drum together on top
of that forward drum, there's this big old fat snappering.
And when I tell you it is a first class son of a bitch to get that snappering in, I mean
it is a first class son of a bitch to get that snappering in.
Especially when you don't know what you're doing.
And you're not, you know, I never did a bunch of work with snappering.
This is all, a lot of this is new to me.
So I'm fighting the snappering, getting in there, we check clearance.
Something's wrong with trying to check clearance.
He's like, what's going on?
And he looked down in the middle and realized I had not, there's a one directional
overbearing sprag that goes in the middle of all this that locks into clutches.
And, you know, that's where you get your powers when that sprag locks.
That's what turns the clutches and applies pressure.
And I had not put that whole piece in there.
I had put the whole forward drum together and forgot that the quite literally the most
important piece of the drum was sitting there to the side.
So then I had to get that snappering back out.
Son of a bitch to get out.
Take the drum back apart.
Take the sprag apart, replace the bearing in it.
Make, we had to Google it, make sure rotation was correct.
And just to be sure because you don't want to find out later if you get
transmission in that doesn't go in forward and then put that drum back together.
And I had to leave at like three o'clock because I had to come back here,
pick up Rachel and the kids and then drive to Friendswood because Junie had a performance that night.
Needless to say, in the day Friday, my ass was cooked.
Also, I don't spend all day standing on the concrete floor anymore.
And my old junk shoes I use for working in are old pair of Nike's and one of them is deflated.
Got a hole in it from a branch.
And by the end of that day, standing on that concrete floor, my feet were killing me.
My back was in so much pain like it hadn't hurt in a long time.
All up in my shoulders.
I got to find some better work boots, work shoes.
It was so funny because I just made a video making fun of work boots.
But I just haven't been doing that kind of stuff in a while and I'm kind of easing back into it and get my body in shape.
And boy, it still told me I got a long way to go, but his whole back is still kind of jacked up.
Being bent over that parts washing machine just lit up everything that was wrong with it.
So I had to do some more stretching before I go back in there this coming week.
Hopefully I'll get some days this week going there and build the next, you know, the three, four clutch drum
and get the rest of the rotating assembly put together so we can start working on the valve body.
Because like I said, there's a little bit of machine in, but you want to do all that before you put the rotating assembly in
so that you're not getting shavings and shit all up in the rotating assembly.
At the same time, David's teaching me this stuff.
He's rebuilding units, taking units apart, dealing with customers questions, dealing with manager, dealing with Rob's questions about units,
checking out other cars, has to answer his phone and all his other clientele and deal with them and order parts and all that stuff.
So I have to wait until he's unengaged so that he can tell me stuff and, you know, I can't be interrupting him and shit like that.
I'm not trying to, you know, I'm trying to stay out of his way best I can because I know a man got to make a living doing this thing.
And I'm gracious for, I'm gracious for so many things about David.
David's one of the better friends I've ever had in my life.
And I've been friends with David about 18 years now, 19 years.
I met David before me and Rachel were together when I was pursuing her.
He rebuilt transmission in my Ford Conter about five times because I kept breaking it.
But you don't, David stuck his neck out for me, helped me so many times.
It's not even funny like you guys just don't, you know, when I first started my construction business, my remodeling business,
David gave me a big old job to start me off with.
He bought a rent house and everything in that job didn't go great because I was still new to running a business.
And David stuck by me through the whole thing and did right by me like when I didn't even deserve it.
And it helped me get my business off the start and buy a lot of my initial tools and equipment I needed.
And then many years later when I blew the transmission up in my Jimmy, David gave me $1,200.
That truck wouldn't work $1,200.
He gave me $1,200 for that truck to help me out.
The truck wouldn't work $1,200.
That 388,000 miles wasn't much of it left.
I had run the dog piss out of that truck.
It's just one of those people you can count on.
And likewise when everything happened with this house and we decided we had to move into it,
David let me borrow $30,000 coming here and do as much remodeling as I could before I moved my family in this place.
And I've been very gracious while I've been paying it back.
If I've been late on the payment or something, he's just always been really cool.
He just helped me out.
He's a good dude.
Now he's doing it.
Gave me a really good deal on that Mazda when I bought that Mazda.
Gave me a really good deal on my Avalanche.
Like I ain't going to tell you all how good a dealer he's giving me on my Avalanche.
But it's criminal.
It's criminal price he gave me on the Avalanche.
It's a really clean truck.
It's a really solid truck that I can utilize for many, many years.
Having the parts truck donor bonus.
And now he's helping me rebuild the transmission for it.
And it's turned into more than we thought because differential was bad and things like that.
And there's extra complications.
And also having to deal with everything going on at the shop that doesn't belong to either one of us in the process.
There's one of the most amazing people I've ever known.
The way that he rose to the occasion.
His wife, Malina was one of the coolest people in the world.
She was just, she was a really unique lady.
Really intelligent.
Really fun to talk to.
Always fun to hang out with.
I just, I really, me and my wife thought the world of Malina.
We were there for David's wedding.
David was in my wedding.
We were there for his wedding right after Junie was born.
When David became a father I couldn't be more happy for him.
Well, Malina died.
It was the scariest thing.
Because it wasn't.
It wasn't anything anybody could have seen coming.
She had a weird reaction to some medication during when COVID was going on and hospitals were already a mess and everything was going to hell.
In the peak of COVID she had a abnormal reaction to a medication and it took her from David and her children.
Very quickly.
So fast nobody could stop.
Within a day it took her from her family.
It was terrifying.
It was terrifying.
Because I don't know what I would do without Rachel.
I mean I like to think I would rise to the occasion.
But I'm not sure I could do it with the grace he has.
I don't believe that.
It's terrifying to see something like that happen.
Somebody so close to you.
It's scary.
You almost think you can get it.
You know, like this happened to him.
He can happen to me.
It's scary.
It's scary as shit.
Scared the shit out of me.
It wasn't David doesn't know this but it wasn't very long after that that we had a scare with Rachel.
Well we thought something was going on with Rachel and I gave myself so much anxiety about it.
I thought I was having a heart attack.
It turned out to be an anxiety attack.
But to tell you the pain was real.
I really thought something was going wrong in my system.
And I know it was a result of my fear about all this.
But when something happens that close to you, you're like shit that could happen to me tomorrow.
You know?
Anything could happen.
Anything could happen.
And I'd be left trying to make sense of a world that didn't have her in it.
And I'm just not 100% sure I can make sense of that world.
That man has a great deal of strength.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
So I'm very grateful for this gift he's given me.
I always tell you guys the best gift you can give somebody is time.
Your time.
And he's given me his time to do this.
So I do have to work around his time frame.
You know?
I have to.
You can't rush somebody that's doing you a favor.
Regardless of whatever you're worried about.
You can't rush that.
You know, we used to have a saying when I was in business.
We used to have a saying in my company that it's like you can have a job done one of three ways.
You can have fast and good, but that don't come cheap.
You can have cheap and fast.
Probably ain't gonna be good.
You can have cheap and good, but that damn sure don't come fast.
That comes on my schedule when I can get to it.
And that's how these things work.
That's how these relationships work.
They have to work that way.
But it was scary watching them go through.
It was scary.
I knew it scared my friend.
I got to see my buddy Terry Smart Jr.
I've told y'all stories about Terry Smart Jr.
I got to see Terry Smart Jr. this weekend.
Man, we must have hugged each other six times.
I missed that some 50 so much.
God is good to see.
And he's just been through it and to see him smiling and looking good and feeling good.
It was just, oh, it brought me so much joy.
But you know, likewise when I got hurt falling off that roof, my contractor friends all,
I told that story on stage this weekend.
I don't often tell the whole story about, you know, Mr. Kent coming over and replacing the air conditioner
and Terry and his dad bringing fans and stuff because the AC blew out right after I fell off a roof
and broke my brain.
And Mr. Kent mowed the yard before he left that day and washed my wife's car
because it scares contractors to see that happen to another contractor
because we've all gotten comfortable at work and we've all seen that happen to somebody.
And it's scary because you go, shit, that makes it real.
That could happen to me.
You can tell yourself, oh, he was being unsafe.
He was doing this.
You know, you can do that shit.
People doing the comments on videos about work.
You can do that if you want.
But we all know deep down inside, we look at that and go, shit, that could happen to me.
And that's scary.
Same thing with David Molina.
Things become real.
It's scary.
But it is.
It is fun learning something and working on this transmission.
I am learning some stuff and it is really interesting to me.
It's wildly interesting.
I hope I do a good job on it because I'd like this transmission to last long time.
But there was, there was, there was, there was tension in the shop because come Friday
about four, two or three o'clock in the afternoon, I was getting ready to leave.
There was a bunch of noise out of the owner's office.
Followed by a few slamming doors and a dude packing up his tools and, you know, calls
being made to replace the guy.
It's how the blue collar world works.
It's simple.
You know, I owed anything.
Texas is a right to work state.
You can get fired just having a wrong look on your face coming in the door.
And some people are like, oh, it's horrible because workers have no rights.
And I do get that argument.
But the flip side of that coin is, is there's a freedom to it.
There's a freedom to it.
And, but clearly there was tension.
There was tension going on Saturday.
I got up.
I was supposed to work on this stuff.
I didn't did other things.
And then my good buddy Nathaniel Amador picks me up.
We head up to Nagadoges.
Nathaniel is going to open for me.
He's a fantastic comedian.
I've been working with him since I came back to comedy.
We used to do all the Jesse Peyton shows and all that shit and all the local shows here in town.
And I've always liked Nathaniel.
He opened for me at the punchline.
If you saw me at the punchline, he's a fantastic human being and really funny guy, young father, good father, young husband.
I think he's a good husband.
I adore his wife, your all these just fantastic human being, such a fantastic human being.
She just surrogated for somebody, which I imagine I don't know the perspective of a woman or what it's like to hold a baby that came out of you and then hand it to somebody else.
But it's got to be a Sicilian task.
It's got to be one of the most difficult things you could ever do.
And she did this for a couple that wanted a child that could not have one on their own.
And what a marvelous, yeah, I know there's finances and stuff involved, but what a marvelous gift.
There's no amount of money in the world that could ever make up for that.
It's a good people.
I enjoyed being in the car with Nathaniel.
We talked about many things.
We talked about God and politics and just all the things that we don't often talk about in public.
We talked about all the things or feelings about other comics or feelings about the nature of the industry and which way it's headed.
There's so much otherism out there right now.
And it's real strong and common.
There's comics trying to blacklist each other about their politics and both sides.
There's just so much of that shit going on.
And it's just so gross.
And I'm just like, can we just, can we just, I said, as a boy, if otherism came in a powder form,
there'd be even more deviated septums in the green room, right?
There's already a bunch.
But
it was nice to talk all that out with somebody.
And my thoughts are always, can we just, can we just chill in this shit?
Can we just chill and groove together for the last remaining three to five years that we have left before some faction
or corporation owns everything like we're all afraid of because, you know, or the sun decides to,
the sun gets tired of our bitching and just decides to vaporize the earth.
I don't know how many years we got left, but can we just enjoy them?
Can we just get together and enjoy them, just do some good stand up and not do all this bullshit?
I don't know.
It's fun to be in a car with a fellow comic that I enjoyed talking to.
And the Lamplight Theater in Nacodotius was tremendous.
We had, I don't know, like 180 tickets sold.
There were many open seats in that place.
And it's a beautiful theater.
And it's kind of like a secretly BYOB place.
Like it's just like, if you bring it in your pocket, we ain't gonna say nothing about it type place.
They don't have liquor license.
So it's kind of like a down home get together.
You know, why God don't tell me is BYOB.
And it's a fantastic little city theater that is completely operated by a group of people who are all,
not only actors there at the theater that put on plays and shows year round,
but it's a labor of love for them.
They love this place and they keep it.
It's a nice theater.
It was brilliantly beautiful showroom.
Shout out to Nacodotius for having the only wireless mic in the history of wireless mics that doesn't cut out before a punchline
or screw up when you get too close to a monitor on the stage.
I hate wireless mics, but theirs worked perfectly.
And Nathaniel went out there and whooped them people.
Went out there and gave them 30 minutes of fire.
I was so proud of him.
He did a hell of a job.
He brought me out on stage and I did something a little bit.
I told some more personal stories this time.
I was just so excited to be in front of that crowd,
especially kind of being off for a month and it felt good to be on stage.
And it was a great show.
It was a great show.
I did everything I wanted to do.
I got everything out there I wanted to get.
We had a good time with a good bunch of people.
A bunch of strangers in the dark having fun laughing at my ridiculousness.
There's something odd.
I got bored on stage and that's never happened to me before.
There was a point in time where I was up there about 40 minutes in the set.
You're always thinking about the next bit.
You're always thinking about the next where you're going next, where you're going.
It's a complicated process.
You're talking.
You're expressing ideas.
You're reading the room.
You're reading laughter.
You're checking how much more laughter you got before you got moving to the next bit,
not to step on the laughter, but also thinking about the next place you're going.
And when I realized how much I had to still get through,
it was just a little piece of me.
I was like, yeah, I'm not done yet.
And I was like, bro, that's not the way we should ever feel on stage.
And I'm sure that's a symptom of being off for a month and being lazy.
But it had never happened to me.
It kind of pissed me off while I was on stage.
I was like, oh, hell no.
This is my thing.
This is my thing.
I love to do.
We ain't going to do all that.
So I had to realign my mind in a quick second and jump into the next bit with good enthusiasm
so that it played well.
A great bunch of people.
I met some really amazing fans and have received a few emails and response.
People had a great time and show and I'm just so thankful.
I will definitely that place will be back in rotation.
That was wonderful.
I hope we have the same great experience in Austin this coming week.
Let's wrap this thing up right here.
I ain't trying to cut it short on you guys, but I got to get the wallet bottoms done.
Then we'll do some testimonials.
We'll close out with a little sermon and we'll get on with our Sunday.
How about that?
How about that?
Cash me outside.
How about that?
All right.
Let's go.
That is tickles and shit.
David gave me that.
That is tickles and shit.
He saw that and swapped me.
Thought I needed that.
That is tickles and shit.
Anyway, let's return to the wallet bottoms texts.
Shimmering waves of iridescence rose from the asphalt parking lot of Laird hospital.
The dull red brick of the main building did its best to absorb the fiery torch of a late
July sun as the aging air conditioning units played their grinding chorus and their
Sisyphean task to keep the innards of the place cool enough to keep the patients and
families comfortable.
Carl Jr. was healing well, but his surgeon had kept him under close observation after
such traumatic blood loss, but was optimistic he could return home soon.
Alanna, his mother, spent most of her days at the hospital trying to keep her son's
spirits up.
In the evenings, Carl Sr. would come and sit with the boy in her stead after closing his
shop for the day.
Him and the boy would talk about the repairs he had done during the day, the customers,
anything to fill the silence that didn't involve the old man having to reconcile his
phone feelings about almost losing his first boy.
Alanna sat in the waiting room while the nurses changed some of Carl Jr.'s dressings.
She sighed when she saw Tiffany's red convertible super beetle pull into the parking lot.
The girl had come every day for weeks and her son had refused to see her every time.
Tony had come by a few times before taking the message to heart.
Tiffany approached her immediately upon entering with a paper sack in her hand.
Hey, Mrs. Haynes, my mama packed you some egg salad sandwiches.
We know you have to be tired of hospital food by now.
Alanna took the bag graciously looking at the young girl whose face clearly showed she had shed tears before coming in.
Your mother is a sweet lady, Tiff.
Thank you.
Carl's getting his dressing changed, but seems to be in good spirits today.
As soon as they're done, I'll go back and let them know you're here.
The girl looked hopeful and it put a strain on Alanna's heart.
It reminded her of the way she felt waiting for the postman every day Carl Sr. had been in Vietnam.
A ready-faced nurse in a hurry with a cigarette on her mind walked up and touched Alanna's shoulder.
He's all fixed up if you'd like to go back for making a beeline for the sunscorched parking lot and the freeing rush of nicotine.
Alanna patted Tiffany on the arm.
Let me go back and tell them you're here, honey.
Carl Jr. looked up as his mom entered the room. He eyed the paper sack with suspicion.
She's here again.
Alanna took a cool rag from the basin by his bed and wiped his brow.
Baby, that girl ain't gonna quit coming here till you talk to her or her parents ship her off kicking and screaming.
I know, mom.
Alanna smiled and squeezed his hand.
Baby, I don't know what happened between you two.
Truthfully, it ain't none of my business.
But I do think it would be better for both of you if you talk.
Mom, Alanna cut him off quickly. Just listen, your mom was talking.
I know you're mad as hell about something, but I also know that girl loves you.
She's loved you since y'all was riding your bicycles in the driveway.
And I don't know what she's done wrong, but she's been here every day, baby.
Carl Jr. couldn't help but smile a little at his mom's interruption.
Can't you just talk to her, baby?
I don't know how many more eggs-owled sandwiches I can eat out of politeness.
You know her mama can't cook to save her life?
He chuckled in spite of himself.
Okay, okay. Just for you, mom.
Alanna smiled.
There was no secret to her who run the Haines household.
She stood and smoothed her dress.
I'll go let her know and try to find someone to pawn this sandwich on while you have her distracted.
When she walked back into the waiting room, the young girl looked up through wet eyes.
She'd clearly been crying behind a magazine she wasn't interested in.
Tiff, honey, he said you can go back, but go easy on him.
He's still in a lot of pain.
Carl Jr. was staring at the ceiling when she walked in.
He was afraid to look at her.
Afraid he still loved her too much to stand his ground and still be angry.
Red.
His resistance broke immediately here in her voice.
He couldn't help but look into her eyes.
He knew her crying face.
Had consoled her many times when her father had lost his temper over some little thing.
Still, he tried to stay furious.
Why do you keep coming, Tiff?
She was shocked by his curt question, but pressed on.
Taking a few steps closer to the hospital bed.
She squeezed her hands together until her knuckles turned white trying to resist touching his arm.
Because I had to see you.
I had to tell you in person that you and Tony were together.
His interruption was spat out a little harsher than you'd meant.
What?
No, I'm not interested in Tony. I never was interested in Tony.
Carl closed his eyes and grimaced.
You sure seemed interested at the creek.
You know what, Red?
I cried over us for weeks and Tony offered to give me a ride to the creek.
And yes, I went.
I just wanted to have fun.
I wanted to be not sad for two minutes, but he's our friend.
Your friend, you mean?
His eyes were still closed.
Carl Haynes, Tiffany's sharp tone made his eyes open wide.
Tony's been your best friend since we were kids. Don't do that.
Be mad at both of us if you want to. He never had nothing, not like us.
He was excited about his car and you were ignoring him.
I'm sorry that it looked like that, but there ain't a boy in this town I'd stay here for except you.
Carl straightened himself in the bed a little, digesting her words.
The stitches pulling at his healing skin.
He spoke slowly.
You are leaving, though.
Tiff didn't answer, but she lost the resistance to touch him.
She placed her hand on his arm and nodded her light blue eyes, welling with tears.
Carl put his other hand on top of hers.
I'm sorry.
It's all right. As much as I don't want to get it, I get it.
She looks surprised.
I've had a lot of time to think about it all laying here.
I know why you got to get out of here.
I've even thought about going with you, but I don't know how to be nowhere else and I don't want to be nowhere else.
I think I got so angry because I just needed something to be angry at. I didn't want it to be you.
I've always known Tony had a crush on you.
I've always known the way he looked at you and I can't even be mad at him because if things were reversed, I'd be the same way.
I'd want you for myself.
She smiled through her tears.
Will you promise to forgive me one day?
His eyes welled up this time.
I already did, Tiff.
The night you broke up with me.
I knew even then you wasn't running from me.
Tiff threw her body down across his red.
He almost came off the bed and groaned loudly.
Oh my God, your stitches. I forgot as she straightened quickly.
It's okay. Just go slow.
He tried his best to smile through gritted teeth.
She stretched out and stroked his fiery red hair.
I wish I wasn't leaving so soon.
He did his best smile through the pain.
I wish I hadn't waited so long to talk to you.
Want to go for a motorcycle ride?
They both laughed until their faces turned crimson.
Well, let's just enjoy today.
She whispered into his ear before kissing his cheek.
The two young people talked well into the evening past visitor hours.
The ruddy-faced nurse giving them grace and extra time
and enjoying the extra smoke break it provided.
Carl Sr. was unexpectedly met by his wife
when he stopped by the house to change before going to the hospital.
Stay home tonight.
Carl Jr. has plenty of company.
He finally spoke to Tiff.
He was damn surprised but happy to have the respite.
It had been a long day at the shop
and those hospital chairs were hailing in sciatica.
He happily followed the beautiful woman he'd married into the kitchen
for maybe the first peaceful evening at home
since his boy had wrecked that motorbike.
The old clock in Carl Sr. shop had just struck 2 a.m.
when the back door began wiggling in its frame.
The tip of a crowbar working the padlock hasp
until it snapped with a sharp metallic click.
Whispers could be heard as the door opened.
Three sets of tennis shoes entered the door
and three sets of hands began grabbing whatever equipment wasn't nailed down.
Chainsaws, tools, anything of value.
One of those sets of hands took a screwdriver
and jimmied the antique cash register drawer open
before scooping out the reserved cash under the drawer.
One of the voices, let's go.
Hold on.
That set of hands opened the door to Carl Sr.'s office.
That set of hands knocked everything down off the walls
and everything off the desk
before grabbing the snub-nosed 22
from the desk drawer that Carl Sr. kept there just in case.
In the darkness, the sounds of a zipper going down
could be heard before the stream of urine begins splattering
on all the knocked-down belongings in wrecked office.
Let's go.
Okay.
The sound of hurried footsteps came
before a poorly timed Ford V8 coughed itself to life
and lugged away in the darkness.
Tune in next week for more from Diwali Bottoms, Texas.
It's getting late.
Let's see.
What comes next, you reckon?
What comes next?
I think we all know Tony's crossing some lines.
Oh, my goodness.
Let's do some testimonials
and we'll wrap this thing up and get out of here for the day.
I got them pulled up right here.
At M-T-H-I-B 90210.
At this point in your comedy career,
there are types of venues you won't go to
like Whiskey Wednesdays at the local dive bar
or a coffee shop that happens to have a stage.
As always, great episode of J.W.
You know, man, I've just done so much of that stuff
and it's not that I look down on it.
I just don't want to do it anymore.
I've burned my voice out, hollering my jokes at bar shows,
burned my voice out in terrible environments,
trying to do stand-up comedy,
and it's exhausting and it's not rewarding.
So I try to avoid those environments.
I prefer little small theaters or even a comedy club
where it's set up, comedy, stand-up comedy
requires an environment.
It requires the ability to hear the speaker
and less noise distractions.
You don't want pool tables going,
you don't want bar noise going,
the outside venues are terrible
because motorcycles and cars
and doing comedy outside is awful.
The acoustics are terrible,
the laughter just floats up into nothingness.
It's nothing to contain at all and keep the rhythm.
You'll always see a better show
when you see stand-up done in its correct environment.
So I do try to avoid those now.
Every once in a while I do some private,
I'm doing a private gig in April
and I'm telling you,
it is going to be the absolute worst environment
for stand-up comedy
and it is going to be a 45-minute battle
where I want to scream the F word the whole time,
but can't because it's corporate.
So I do try to avoid those.
I still end up having to do them sometimes,
but I do try to avoid them.
At...
Sorry, Howard, you screwed up so bad.
That Dave is not here.
Dave's not here, man.
Dave's not here.
Oh, you remember what Cheech and Chong album that was?
I mean, one of my teenage friends laughed like morons.
Dave's not here, man.
Great podcast, JW.
I listened to this one today on Monday
while I was laying in bed after surgery.
I saved it for day on purpose,
but truth be told, I can rarely listen on Sundays
due to my job, so I'm always a few days late.
I really love the way you tell a story,
and it kind of hit home when you said us guys
in our 40s and 50s never were really planning to be here.
That, sir, is fact.
I have you by about seven years.
I guess laying here recovering,
and when I heard that, I was like,
yes, sir, I remember saying 30 was old.
Hell, I'm here barreling like Wiley Coyote
in a cartoon off a cliff toward 60
and thinking, damn, younger me is collecting IOU.
I took out on older me,
not intended on to ever have to pay back.
I found you because of the truck astrology
because I'm a bumpside lover.
God bless, sir, good Christian soldier.
And a lover of all things automotive.
Hopefully next time you're out west in Arizona,
I can catch a show live,
but for now, I will just subscribe
and be entertained with the videos in the podcast.
Thanks so much for listening, man.
I hope you recover quickly.
I don't know what kind of surgery you're having.
Dave, or if you're not Dave,
I'm not sure if Dave is there or not.
Hope you recover quickly, man.
Yeah, I feel all the time I'm cashing.
Younger me cashed a bunch of checks
that older me wrote and didn't know he was writing.
Do it when I was working in that shop all day the other day.
Boy, my back was killing me.
My feet were hurting so bad I almost couldn't stand it.
You know, it's bad when you start doing that flamingo shit,
trying to stand on one foot and lean against something.
Lift yourself up on your toes.
Hope you get well soon, bubba.
Thanks for the wonderful testimony.
Oh, excuse me, sorry about that.
At Jack Franklin, C9I.
Man, last week's Diwali bottom develop.
That's a tongue twister.
Man, last week's Diwali Bottoms episode had me.
I imagine what I'd do to the fella
hit that boy in the jaw all the time.
I think we'd all like what Tom's asked.
I love a good story.
Music has lost its luster and I find this to be good for me.
Oh, and one more thing.
I found out the epic, the word I can't say
is pronounced epictetus.
Well, that's good to know.
I read it myself being a North Carolinian and I botched it too.
Well, thanks for that.
Epictetus.
I like a pictetus better because it just sounds more final,
but epictetus it is.
Don't matter what you call it.
The man knew what the shit he was talking about.
He went from slave to a free man.
He had some time on his hands to investigate the philosophy of man
and why we feel the way we feel about things
and he was real good at it.
Good ol' epictetus.
Thank you for watching, sir.
Hope you keep tuning in to Wally Bottoms.
We're going to get to the bottom of all this eventually.
Then we're going to start a new season of Wally Bottoms.
We're going to find out more about this crazy shit-ass old town.
Alrighty, let's wrap this up for the day.
Hopefully I can get this edited up in time
to everybody some good.
There's a kind of freedom in blue-collar work.
In the trades, you don't live under the illusion that anything is permanent.
Office folks spend their lives worried about layoffs and downsizing.
In our world, you always knew the deal.
You worked till the job was done.
Then you went looking for the next one.
Nobody promised you Monday.
Hell, sometimes you get fired on a Friday
and be hired someone else before supper.
That knows I've done it.
And when work was good, half of us would cross the street
for another dollar an hour without thinking twice.
I've been accused often of having to axe the grind about that life,
but I don't.
I love it enough to talk about it honestly.
I'm grateful I had the work.
I'm grateful I knew how to earn.
I wish somebody had impressed up on me sooner what it cost,
how fast you can wear your back and your knees down to nothing chasing a dollar,
how easy it is to get comfortable doing something dangerous every day.
There ain't nothing that sovers a man quicker
than seeing another man get his business broke on an ordinary day.
No storm, no warning, just a ladder or a lift or a load that shifted wrong.
And suddenly all those risks you've taken feels quite real.
I guess all I hope is that if you're a young person
and you're fixing to build yourself a life with your hands and your back
and your skill set, I just want you to be smarter than we were.
Wear the knee pads, wear the earplugs, wear the damn safety glasses,
stretch in the morning, and don't show out for nobody,
especially if they ain't signing your check.
I want you to go out there and earn.
I want you to go out there and chase your dreams.
I want you to go out there and do the things that mean something to you.
I just want you to be smart about it.
I am rooting for you.
Everybody here at the record, we're all rooting for you.
That's the way this works.
I root for y'all, y'all root for me.
I'm rooting for you.
I just want to see you survive it.
I'm JW.
I love you.
I forgot to take my own airsign off.
Boy, it's kind of wild being in a shop when an old boy got fired.
You remind me how simple that life was.
There's a simpleness about that.
It makes me mad because I don't get into politics and talk about that shit with y'all,
but I watch these videos, these town council meetings,
and people getting thrown out of them for saying bad words
and all this decorum and bullshit.
I watch the news stories about people in county positions
and law enforcement and stuff getting away with shit and never getting fired
because union makes it hard to fire people.
HR makes it hard to just fire people.
Boy, I just sometimes wish it was just as simple as blue collar work.
I wish we could look at these politicians just on a Friday afternoon,
but you're fired. Get your shit and get out of here.
The world might be a better place if everybody could just be fired on a Friday afternoon
and have to figure it out before Monday.
Because by God, it'll keep you straight as a blue collar man,
knowing his fine line between having a good day and getting your ass canned on a Friday.
I ain't saying it's a perfect system. I ain't saying there ain't flaws in it,
but boy, by God, would it straighten some people up if they could get their ass...
Boy, can you imagine if the sheriff had to worry about getting his ass run off on a Friday?
How much different he'd act?
Can you imagine how much different the railroad commissioner would act
if he could get his ass fired on a Friday?
How much different the governor would act if he could get his ass fired on a Friday?
The mayor, any of them.
They could all get it.
Well, if we could just shit can them on a Friday afternoon
and have them replaced by the end of the day.
Woo, buddy, I'm telling you, the world would run a little differently.
I promise you it would. I promise you it would.
Like I said, I ain't saying it's perfect.
I ain't saying it was a perfect system.
People get caught up in it and chewed up, but by God, there was a simplicity to it.
I don't know if it would be terrible if everything worked like that.
That's all wishful thinking, I'm sure.
Hey, thank you guys for sharing your Sunday with me.
I am exhausted.
I'm going to go edit this, try to enjoy the rest of my Sunday
and before the week starts all over again.
Hope some of you get to come out and see the show in Austin.
I love you guys. I really do.
I say it every week.
I mean, this is giving me a place to explore
and kind of figure out everything is wrong with me, too.
That's a gift that y'all have given me.
I do not waste it.
Even the days where everything feels rushed and hurried
and trying to get this thing together for y'all.
It's a labor of love that I enjoy doing
because you guys have given me the gift of your time.
So go out there, have a great week, chase your bag,
slide around obstacles like your son-bitch in Teflon, baby.
Get up Monday, take a shower.
Wear a shirt, makes you feel good.
Go out and kick this weekend ass.
Y'all be safe.
Don't fall off no roofs, don't fall off no ladders,
don't hang off no shit acting crazy,
trying to cut a minute of time.
And I'll see you here next Sunday.
We'll do this all over again.
I love you.
About this episode
Jerry Wayne Longmar shares a candid and detailed account of his challenging week, focusing on his project rebuilding a 4L-60E automatic transmission with expert help from David, a master transmission builder. The episode delves into the complexities of transmission repair, the learning curve Jerry faces, and the generosity of industry friends offering their time and resources. Alongside personal anecdotes and shop stories, Jerry reflects on the intricacies of automatic transmissions, the importance of patience, and the value of community support in automotive projects.
Original notes
JW talks friendships and the complexity of favors, the fear that pervades us all regardless of station or occupation.
This week in Duwali Bottoms, healing does not always mean mending.
As Carl Jr recovers and the Haines family tries to steady themselves after tragedy, old friendships strain under the weight of silence and distance. Around town, life carries on in the summer heat but something restless is beginning to move beneath the surface.
The Reckon Yard Podcast
Jerry Wayne Longmire
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