First Run Fiasco: Amy vs. The Chairlift

I was a massive Matthew Good band fan.

I found they were Canadian.

I found them on much music, speaking of MTV.

That was the much music.

Much music was the the the counter to MTV for Canada.

And, um,

right here, we're filming this outside my house in North Carolina here in front of

That's Dad's plane.

Dad's King Air.

Joey Meyers flying it.

Our pilot today.

Y'all commandeer it.

Looks like we started.

We didn't tell anybody.

We filmed us jogging.

I see some hoodies.

Why is it going so fast?

Because I was skipping.

We fit.

Well, I can't describe what's going on.

All the fun things.

Details of your hauling ass to this.

This is it.

He wants to talk about every single moment.

But the problem is we can't use this video.

So we have to like.

OK.

No, we can't stay on a little.

But I don't know.

Skip skips and is it for hoodie?

So.

Right.

What city are you in?

The jogging scene of us on the map.

It's like New Orleans, Memphis.

There's a green screen at Graceland where you take pictures and they put you in front

of Elvis and all this stuff.

We filmed the green screen.

There we are.

Say there's a there's a there's a I can't say it.

South Padre Island.

Look at us.

We were close.

Wendy is cold.

Yeah, it doesn't look like it does look cold.

And to his just to my dismay.

He is in shorts.

We got girls with you.

We'll pick up hookers on the beach.

What's wrong with you?

Christ, it's a music video.

They weren't even that cute.

This is a it's it's framed.

It's staged.

This is in Vegas or this is in Graceland in a hotel.

That's in Las Vegas.

This is a lot of work.

This is a lot of effort for a video.

That's a that's in Las Vegas hitting golf balls before top golf was a thing.

Yeah, before top golf was a thing.

Vegas Hotel.

Calling some more hookers.

Oh, no, we left him.

We need more hookers.

Stop it.

The following is a production of Dirty Mo Media.

Oh, yeah, this is where it's going to be, girl.

We're going to hang out.

Open a bunch of jars.

You got big, strong hands.

Are you suffering from high crack?

I'm working.

Working that mouth.

All right.

Hi, guys, Dale Jr.

and I are in the Dirty Mo Media Studio for another round of Bless Your Heart.

We have a fun show for you today.

Nice to see you, by the way.

Thanks for coming back to life, back to North Carolina.

He's been on a tour.

What? And he's going to leave again tomorrow.

So I get him for like eight hours today.

So thanks for coming and hanging out.

I went to Nashville to tire test for the cars tour

and straight from there to Vegas for Chevrolet.

And we got home at like three in the morning.

Yeah, I got home.

And then I didn't set my alarm.

You had to get me up out of bed and take out of school.

I've turned mine off, too.

And when I was testing at Nashville.

It is embarrassing.

We tested all day from three to seven

because of the Norwees ordinance.

They don't let you do anything but four or three o'clock.

So we get done right around six thirty and taking my helmet off.

My nails were super long because I just sometimes I get lazy.

And my nails will be long.

And I'll start breaking them off, like messing with the race car,

climbing it out and breaking the nails and stuff off.

And I had these shards of fingernails, the shanks.

You had shanks.

And I scooped a chunk out of my forehead,

taking my helmet off like the last run of the day.

And I'm standing there talking to the guys and I'm like,

well, you know, I was doing this and doing that.

And they're looking at me like, yeah, I just scratched myself

because they're looking at it.

And I was like, yeah, I know I just scratched myself.

I know it's bleeding.

You're just that age.

I know. I'm like, God, and then I had to go to do the Chevy thing

and get on stage in front of three thousand dealers.

Yeah. So how'd that go with?

Well, by that point, it was scabbed over.

Did you have anything covering it up?

No, it was fine. It was just a scratch.

And then this morning I got in a shower and I rubbed it too hard

and it started bleeding again.

So I had to put a bandage.

Yeah. So he comes downstairs and he's got a

type of pig bandage on his face.

I'm like, I don't give a.

Are you OK?

He's like, well, he goes through the whole thing.

I'm like, and are you going to start doing this with that all day long?

Because I, too, was just looking at his forehead.

Like as soon as I start telling Amy the story, I can see that

like she buying this.

She's like looking at me like, but this is a really big stretch to get attention.

It is. Yeah.

But it was bleeding this morning.

And so I'm late because I didn't set my alarm.

Amy come up there and goes, you going to be able to get up?

It's like six seven fifteen.

I got to be out the doors three seven thirty five ish.

And so I look in the I get in a shower

because I got to come here and do this or outside of just skip the shower.

And thank you.

Yeah, I get out of the shower and my forehead is bleeding.

I'm like, so I scramble, found some freaking band-aids and I put the band-aids on

and I run downstairs while I get a text from Amy on the way to school.

And she's like, dude, your mom went off in the bathroom.

Yeah, there's bloody naps everywhere, bloody naps.

Band-aid shrapnel all over the top of his counter.

And then the box is just thrown in the floor.

I'm like, come on, man, this is kind of get mad at the kids for doing it.

He's got like, it's like he was a animal.

I was putting that thing on.

And it's upside down to the Peppa Pig baby.

Little George is upside down on your face.

Well, we're not bleeding in front of everybody.

No, Nicole had a scratch on her face this week.

And it was after spring break.

She came home and her sister and her were must been getting scrappy.

They've been wrestling more.

Anyway, so she ends up with scratch right here on the bridge of her nose.

And it could day goes by and she doesn't bother with it.

And then yesterday evening, and he was the day before she's in the mirror in the hallway.

And I'm like, what are you doing?

She turns around, she has a pair of scissors and she tries to hide it behind her back.

And I immediately think, oh, my God, she's going to cut her hair

because she's done that once.

She didn't like this one little piece.

So she just chopped it.

I'm like, we're not cutting hair.

And she's like, I'm not cutting my hair.

I was like, well, what are you doing with the scissors?

She goes, I don't want this anymore.

And she points to the scab on her nose.

And I'm like, well, you're going to just try to cut it off.

And I was like, you're going to make it way worse.

You're about to make your face way worse.

Give me the scissors.

And she was like, fine.

And she hands me the scissors and I put the scissors away.

By the way, the scissors in our locked cabinet and she got those out.

There's no keeping her out of stuff.

And so she goes into the we call it the changing room.

It's like the craft room where all the band-aids and stuff are also.

And so she gets a band-aid and she puts it across her nose right here.

And then she sleeps in it like that and goes to school in it yesterday morning.

And when I went to pick her up from school, half the kids in the class

and one of the teachers all had band-aids across her nose to.

Trendsetter. Just to make her feel better.

I swear that Nicole.

Freaking pisses me off.

But God almighty, man.

She's a stinker, but she's really clever and she's really cute.

That's the thing is getting.

She's like she's when she gets in trouble, the looks on her face

and everything kind of distract you from your emotions.

And so, I don't know, it's just hard to stay mad at her.

Super tough sometimes and then super awesome.

And that's widening as she's getting older.

Yeah, she's getting more easy to reason with.

But yeah, her rationale behind trying to dig the scab out of her face

with a pair of scissors freaked me out.

And I'm like, girlfriend, walk away from the scissors, just put them down.

She is the one, though, that if you got a if you got a scratch on your finger or something,

she'll she'll see it like I got this little scratch on this finger.

A couple of the fingers are torn up and she'll see it come over

and she'll be she'll look at it and be like, oh, and then she starts picking at it.

Yeah, she wants to pull it off.

She's like, and you're like, oh, God, wow.

Yeah, she'll pet you and make you make it.

She's like a star patch.

Daddy, are you OK?

And then all of a sudden rip.

She does that with her.

She's like trim and roll of fingernails, you know, and picking and carrying on.

She just, I don't know, man.

Isla did none of that, none of that.

No, but I did hold her down for Jim yesterday.

And I told her face.

Just let her wear the bandaid.

I mean, I literally ripped it off her face.

I had to hold her down one leg over her forehead, one leg over her body.

And I wanted to come off because it's that bandaid right there underneath her eyes.

Like, you know, since the little skin is those bandages in particular,

they stick really hard.

And so I was worried that that was going to happen.

Isn't that weird?

Because remember that happened that happened with Isla a couple of times?

Was it Isla and Nicole?

It was Nicole and you ripped it off and it ripped her skin off.

He went to do the same thing like I'm going to do it quickly so that she can't fight me.

And it actually gave her a scab.

Like child band aids should not too much adhesive.

Do that.

It's they're tough.

They're made to stay on like if they're in the swimming pool and that kind of thing.

Like they're they're tough.

They should never be ruined skin.

The one you have on is not.

Don't worry.

Pepper the pig will be gentle on you.

Pepper the pig will jump right off your face.

Yeah, I wanted a regular normal adult bandaid.

We have those.

I didn't have one in the small size.

I had a very select I had a very small

bunch of bandage bandages to choose from up there.

Yeah, I hear you.

And I was a hurry and I was half asleep.

Yeah, I mean, all that's true.

Yeah, that's all true.

So we we got to drink of the week.

We do.

We have a really good looking drink sponsored by High Rock vodka.

And it's called The Dirty Shirley.

The Dirty Shirley.

Dale's very excited about this because it's got whipped cream all over the time.

Well, I don't mind whipped cream.

All right.

So this is two ounces of a high rock vodka I go I go into the fridge

and get me a little spoonful of just whipped cream by itself sometimes.

You do?

Yeah.

I'm not shocked by that.

Do you have like the ready whip?

Yes, we do.

We have a ready whip.

Yeah, that's really good.

I have a spoonful of whipped cream every nine then.

You just indulge in every whim like you just give yourself, I don't do that.

I was supposed to live.

I don't know.

One of us, one of us has self control and that's just how it goes.

Sorry.

Yeah.

I don't I don't do that.

Well, you're so young.

You get to my age, you'll be like.

Give me that whipped cream.

I see some whipped cream on it.

All right, so we have two ounces of high rock vodka, one ounce of grenadine,

some lemon lime soda and four, four tablespoons of a heavy whipping cream

or or whipped cream.

I better not drink too much today or I'll break out in hives.

Delicious.

Yeah.

This is like an adult Shirley Temple.

The grenadine will give me hives.

Really?

Yes.

He's sensitive.

He's a sensitive little bird.

So I'll tell this story.

I've never had hives in my life.

And I don't have allergies like I am.

I am.

I'm not.

I'm just what I am.

And like I'm not changing.

You know, I'm not changing my my, you know, people get older and their bodies change.

You know, I've not experienced none of this.

This was like 2004, 2000 and maybe six.

We were in Florida celebrating true ex's Bush series championship and we're

at the banquet in this resort down there in Florida and Topher was with me.

Christopher's friend of ours.

We used to work here in the shop.

He's a real estate guy now, but we're all hanging out.

The banquet's happened.

We go to where the party is in this big ballroom and there's a guy in the

corner with a bar and I walked up and I said, make me whatever the hell you want

to make it.

And he starts pouring to, you know, all this different stuff in this class.

A suicide.

I don't know.

I take it and I drink it.

And there's 20 people in line for drinks, right?

Everybody's getting drinks and I just jumped up there and said, I don't know what

I want.

I didn't drink like I want a beer, beer, beer guy like I am.

I was, I'm straight beer these days, but I drank that thing and 10 minutes later,

I'm walking to the bathroom or somewhere.

I'm out of the ballroom and I'm, my ears are warm and I'm feeling a little hot,

feeling hot, feeling pressure, feeling like I'm my heart, I can feel my heart

beating my cheeks and your teeth.

Yes.

It's like, it's how it feels.

And, uh, like you feel it.

And I walk, and I walked by Topher and Topher goes, dude, you all right?

And I was like, I'm all right.

Yeah.

It's like you're breaking out in hives.

I was like, am I?

And I went and looked in the bathroom and my whole face was red.

My neck.

My ears especially.

And I didn't know what the was going on.

And so, uh, but I was hot.

And so anytime I drink, not every time, but sometimes when I drink mixed drinks,

there's certain additives that make him do that.

So Chrissy, his cousin does the same thing.

We think it's grenadine.

Hers is like a, she like had an reaction with a banana, something drink when we

were in Anguilla.

Just recently.

Oh, it's so good.

No, like Bachelorette trip for every hour.

It doesn't happen all the time, but it never happens with beer and.

He says if he drinks a beer, it'll kind of go away.

Like he can, he can dilute it.

Like if I drink, if I get a mixed drink, it's like a 50-50 chance that it'll happen.

And if I, if it does happen, I can drink a beer and it goes right away.

Your body is naturally.

The body's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this?

My body runs on beer.

Not liquor.

But it all, it happens from like the neck up.

You get hot and your whole head feels like it's filling up with pressure.

Yeah.

And your ears especially get hot and they, you're like itchy almost.

I think it's like, I think it's a food dye thing, an additive.

Something.

No, Eileen gets like that too.

She's got real fair skin.

She'll tan.

Not like you, like you're just pale all the time.

She'll get brown in the sun, but she gets flushed and splotchy when she cries.

She gets upset.

She shows all over her face.

It looks like she's had an allergic reaction to something.

She's got like red circles here and splotches everywhere.

Yeah.

But anyhow, whatever you're mixing in your high rock vodka.

Yeah.

If you want to go to highrock vodka.com, you can find a bottle near you.

Please remember to drink responsibly.

You must be 21 or over.

Remember on the website of the high rock website, you can find a low, there's a locator.

Use the locator and it'll tell you the closest liquor store to go grab your bottle.

No allergic reactions with high rocks.

Yeah.

And there's some, have they announced?

No.

We have big things coming, but we can't tell you yet.

Big things coming and that's pun intended.

Big things coming from high rock, which is pretty cool.

Yes.

Next month, I believe.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Well, so we went on a ski trip.

We did.

We went on a really fun ski trip in Winter Park, Colorado.

That's right.

It was the girls first time skings.

What we did for spring break.

And it turned out to be a lot of fun.

I was expecting to have fun because I like had my head wrapped around skiing and everything,

even with small kids, like we're going to have a good time.

Dale was apprehensive just because he's nervous.

He's always going to get hurt doing something that he doesn't need to be doing, you know,

like Brad K, just being around ski slopes.

Brad did it walking in the parking lot.

He's like, if that could happen to Brad, then you know, what's going to happen to me?

How did he break his leg walking?

It was icy.

He slipped himself.

He was slipping the ice.

I busted my ass on the ice, too.

Yeah.

We did fall a little bit or slide a little bit on ice.

I fell down on my left knee.

Well, you're lucky.

I am lucky.

My kneecap was not in a million bucks.

That was day three.

He's as he was heading up towards where we have all the skis just hanging out on the

little rack.

So it's like, there's like this patch of ice and he slips and falls into it.

And the only person with him is Isla and she loves it when people fall down like loses

her mind laughing.

Yeah.

She's like, she's horse laughing at him as he's like on the ground trying to figure

out if his kneecap is broken and he turns around and goes, you know, I'll laugh with

you.

Can you make sure I'm okay first?

Yeah.

He was so mad at her for laughing at him.

It was like the third or fourth day and Isla had never skied before.

I'd only skied four or five times in my life and it had been six years since I'd skied.

So I was a little nervous about it, but it came right back and Amy got the ski as well.

But, uh, I'm really, really proud of Isla because she's learned to ski well enough

that we get to go ski together down the greens and a couple of blues and stuff.

So I'm super pumped and it's just me and her and she, I'm, I'm trying to get.

There's this block.

There's this giant storage container where we keep our skis at night and it's right

next to the, to the snow and it's all very convenient.

But there's this little strip of about two foot of, of a sheet of frozen ice.

It is like three inches of water that is solid as a rock and I didn't see it because it's

between, between, I mean, it's like gravel, you know, gravelish pavement, snow and Isla's

right there and I'm looking at her, watching her as I'm walking toward her to like talking

to her, right?

All right.

I like I'm still here.

We're coming and I put one foot on that ice went straight down on my knee and on, and

it, I thought immediately I was like, and I'm up.

Like I've really, this is something hurt.

I busted my kneecap.

I've done something.

It was, I went, every bit of me went down on that ice on the top of my knee and victory

fall hard.

So I was thinking for sure I'm hurt and there were so many people walking by and I know

not one person was like, Hey, man, you either not one person, you know, if you see somebody

on the slopes out there, you usually kind of ski over and go, man, y'all good, you

know, you need some help getting up or is everybody okay?

Hell, this is on the base at the ground.

Nobody, I mean, this is eight o'clock in the morning and everybody's just kind of showing

up.

They, all the people walked by me and I'm laying there in real pain.

It must not have been as dramatic looking as you felt like they're looking at me.

Well, I guess they could see that you weren't crying.

Oh my God, I was in pain.

It's still sore now.

He has a big bruise on his leg.

So he started laughing and I'm, and I'm not, I'm not going to get mad at that.

I get up, I'm just thankful.

Like, am I going to get to ski today?

Do I got to go get my knee looked at?

So after a few minutes of figuring out the knee was fine, I said, I love, I said, I

don't mind laughing cause that's funny, but check on me first and then we'll laugh.

I'll laugh with you.

And she was like, all right.

Whatever.

Yeah, she's not going to do that.

Hey, this is Dale Jr.

And for the latest bless your heart gear, go to shop.dirtymomedia.com.

We've got plenty of options for everybody and adding new stuff every day.

Go to shop.dirtymomedia.com.

We had a damn good time.

She, the girls did ski school for like two and a half days.

So we had plenty of time to like ski, especially the first day.

We went really hard the first day.

Oh my God.

That was so much fun.

We hopped right on the gondola went up.

We skied 16, 15, 16 miles.

Here we go again.

Yes.

First trip up the chairlift chairlift scare me anyway.

What?

So we skied 16 miles day one, 15 or 16 miles, right?

Yeah.

And that was really just like the first half of the day.

Right.

And I talked about it to TJ brought it up when Brad was on and I

questioned the legitimacy.

And so him and Brad's hosting the show here for me.

Him and TJ have a little fun.

Like he's ski 15 miles and TJ, I come back here and I'm like, why

were y'all talking about us skiing 15 miles a day one?

He's like, that doesn't seem like a lot.

TJ.

No, no, no, I said it seemed like a lot.

I thought you were.

No, TJ said it did.

Oh, TJ, TJ can't let anybody have.

And this is the same.

Brad, I'm like, Brad didn't even make it close.

How are you talking exactly?

So chairlift.

Wait, first day we get on the damn chairlift and go up.

I fell off the chairlift.

He and I are on there together.

It's just the two of us riding along and I'm five three.

I'm not super tall.

So like chairlift is like an active thing for me.

Like I have to get my mind right, get ready to jump off basically.

Well, his skis tapped mine.

He didn't do anything wrong, but like his skis tapped mine as he's jumping off.

So like it threw me back in the seat a little bit.

And so my ass wasn't coming out.

And so I rode, I started going this way and I just jumped off.

They had to stop it.

I'm like, oh, my God, this is how it's going to go.

This is the tone we've set for me being on skis.

It's going to be a disaster.

But it was it was fine after that.

But Nicole had a couple of moments like that, too, with the chairlift.

It was scary getting her on and off.

Yeah, we skied four days.

I ended up skiing 50 miles total.

And then we and the the craziest part.

So all the parents will appreciate this.

But when we're at the when we're at the base camp or at the base of the mountain,

where all the food and restaurants and all this stuff and the gondola

right in the middle is this really steep.

It's a blue.

It's not a black, but it's very steep.

And you're looking at that all week long.

Yeah, you have to pass by it just to get from one thing to the next.

And so you're looking at it just going, God, that looks different.

Right.

And there's all these badass skiers coming down it all day long.

Shredding all the way down.

Shoo, man, that guy's good.

You know, and you're just watching this hill.

And you're like, yep, my ass ain't coming down that.

I'm not going to be doing that one.

Actively avoiding every time you go down to make sure I don't end up.

Right.

You're looking at the signs.

OK, green, green, got it.

Because I'm a green.

I'm not going to take the easy.

This is it.

And there's a sign that says easiest way down the hill.

You're like, yep, that's me.

Well, they for Eila.

She's following her cousin who's who's a good skier, roughly the same age.

And Adelaide has been teaching Eila for a couple of days as they are as they're out

of school now.

And Adelaide, I got to credit her as an incredible teacher.

She's skiing down the mountain, looking back at Eila, telling Eila what to do the entire time.

Never looking in front of your skier.

Great little coach.

Yeah.

Great, said, mate, your old little coach.

Talking her up, too.

Like, you got this.

You got this.

Don't awesome.

Be positive.

Don't do that.

They're just turning and turning.

They're skiing better than I ski.

But all the while, she's literally got her head turned backwards skiing down the mountain.

She don't and Adelaide don't give a s***.

She'll go down a blue.

And as long as Eila don't know it,

Eila don't know where she doesn't know what a green, blue, what that means.

So she just following Adelaide.

Well, last day, it's four o'clock.

The lifts are closing and I'm everybody's literally leaving and exhausted.

There's no one on the slopes.

We're like the last 10 people up there on top of this mountain.

And I'm like, we got to get off this damn thing.

And Adelaide and them are like, let's go down this route.

We haven't been down this route.

And I'm, and of course I'm not going to watch my little

I'll go and take, I'm not going to take the green.

No, you've got to follow her down.

I'm not going to go the easiest route.

Right.

And so we're skiing, skiing and skiing and skiing.

And this runs about a mile long.

And man, I'm getting tired and they're not stopping.

I got to stop every now and then.

And you like pull over in park just to take a breather?

Yeah, because we're, I mean, every probably three,

every quarter to half mile.

It's steep on the steep stuff because I'm, I'm not a good skier.

So I'm, I'm working way harder than I should.

I got you.

And so my legs are burning.

My thighs are burning and I'm watching them girls and they're

going and they're going and I'm like, all right, I'm going too.

And right.

I finally recognize it.

Like we're going down.

It's, it's, it's time.

It's, it's happening.

The steep end, the steep end of the base.

That's where we're headed.

We're, we're going down that.

And I'm starting to get nervous for Isla because I think once Isla sees that

cliff, yeah, she's going to freak.

Yeah.

And then how are we going to get her down the mountain?

She did cry the day before realizing that she was on a blue.

She found out she was on a blue and she's like, I don't want to be like locked up.

And you know, we told her the blues are harder and she got an epic fit.

Yeah.

Well, she's going down this and we, we, we nose over this cliff and it's

straight down to the base, but her ass still going, following her cousin.

She was so focused on following Island.

She didn't realize where she was.

Well, she, they stopped.

They get over on the side halfway down this steep part.

They stopped.

And so I ski over there and I stopped.

I'm like, I'm tired.

Thanks for stopping.

Thanks girl.

I'm glad we stopped, but how are we going to get going again?

Like getting going again on this is going to be tough.

Well, we stopped and man, we're off to the side.

All these bad ass skiers are going by at a hundred mile an hour.

And I was like, girls, you know, eventually they're laying out.

They're like, they're laying in the damn snow.

They don't give a s***.

You know, they're just being kids.

And I'm like, girls, you know, eventually we got to get going.

There's some skiers coming down here pretty fast.

We just need to get out.

They don't see us.

They're coming right over the hill.

Yeah.

When you get out of the way.

I was like, we need to probably start thinking about getting moving.

So they stand up and when they stand up, they, they start sliding down this hill.

And, um, Kobe, uh, is with me who's married to Amy's sister.

And so Kobe's down a little bit further and he's trying to keep them from just

barrel rolling down the hill.

And that was really touching go for a second.

Cause I thought if Isla doesn't do this right,

if she doesn't get her skis parallel to the mountain,

she's going to end up hauling ass down on her butt and not being able to slow down.

Um, and I was trying not to tell her that because she'll start crying.

Yeah.

She gets overwhelmed with all that information.

And I was, but he, you know, we, we, Kobe did most of the work.

I was up the mountain.

You're just trying to keep up with the girls.

Yeah.

I was up about three feet.

I've got some sticks and stuff up off the ground and I'm handing that to them.

But for the most part, Kobe was the one dam in the, you know,

He's talking about their poles, not actual sticks.

Yeah.

The poles.

And so anyways, we got them up and as soon as they popped up,

they just go, turn back, back to skiing.

That's what it's like to not have anxiety deal.

They just like, you know, live, live their lives.

I was, so, you know, I, I've been proud of her and I've been proud of our girls

and I'm certainly proud of you.

And there's these great feelings that you get inside when things happen that they do.

Milestones are different.

That was so cool.

Watching her go down that thing that I was even nervous being on and doing it

without even a thought and having only learned how to ski a couple of days ago.

I mean, I don't, you know, parents experience those things multiple times in a child's life,

but it was just such a cool feeling.

It's really fun to watch her not get overwhelmed and just go for it because she does get in

her head a lot.

Yep.

So I felt a little bit of that the day before when I went and skied with her.

And I was like, Amy, you got to ski.

You got to ski with them.

You got to ski with them because I was wanting you to like see it and go, oh my, look at her go.

It would be fun to ski with her.

Skying with Nicole is not the same experience.

Not the same.

Nicole hates skiing.

Nicole wants to be inside.

Nicole don't want to ski.

She wants to do anything even here.

That's my kind of person.

She wants to be outside for 30 minutes or so and she's like, I want to go home.

It's the exact opposite of what I thought.

Yeah.

Well, because she's sporty and like she's very coordinated.

I thought Isla would be the, oh, I don't want to do this.

This is not, you know, this is not princess dresses and fake nails.

I don't want to do this.

Isla likes to do anything Isla is doing.

So I think that had everything to do with her determination.

But Nicole and Eva, so there's another little Eva.

She's a year older than Nicole.

Even when skiing last year, so she's got a little bit more experience.

And so she can use the poles and go down the mountain on her own.

She gets tired and worn out too because she's still young, but Nicole didn't sign up for

this ski trip and she was not happy about having to get the boots on and do the whole thing.

Like she'll put her gear, like her dress on, but like the boots and all that and the helmet,

she's like complaining.

Yeah.

The whole first day was my helmet doesn't fit right.

My helmet hurts, my helmet this.

I'm like, you wear a helmet and have stuff like that all the time.

You'll go outside and get your bike helmet just to wear it without riding your bike.

So what's wrong with the helmet?

Like is it really the helmet or is it the fact that we didn't talk about this enough

and now you're in the cold trying to figure out how to ski and you didn't really want to

do this and everybody's legs hurt.

Like she just was not into it.

So by the time we got to day two of ski school, she didn't do the first morning.

The girls, the big girls went with the coach and I kept her at the house

and then we went down and kind of met everybody.

So like we backed her off of the ski school because she just was a challenge.

She was quote unquote a challenge.

Yeah, we got up in the morning one time and I took Nicole down into the lockers to get our

on and we literally had just gotten there and it's like eight o'clock in the morning.

We get all our boots and we come out of the lockers and we're going to the slopes and Nicole goes

carry me.

Yeah, carry me.

Carry me.

I'm tired.

Meanwhile, we've all got the boots on.

Nobody's carried anybody.

I'm like, if that damn doughnut stand was open right there, you'd be jogging to it.

Your ass ain't tired.

I ain't buying this.

Yeah, I was telling her that.

I was like, you ain't tired.

We just got here.

He ain't done nothing.

That was the last day we stayed back with Eva and Nicole so that the big kids could go ski.

And then we met them around lunchtime.

She's like, I'm tired.

Pick me up.

I'm like, you guys have been sitting on the couch all morning.

All morning.

You ain't tired.

You have Nicole singing while she skis.

Yeah.

So the last day, so when we finally got there on the last day, Dale hooked up with Island,

Kobe and they went off into their own thing.

And so Katie, my sister and I took the two littles and did our own thing on the smaller slopes.

And Katie is really petite and I have back problems.

And so she volunteered to ski with Nicole in between her skis and then Nicole held onto her

poles.

So like they were kind of skiing together in lockstep the whole way.

And she did that all afternoon.

And we get to one of the lifts and she's like, Nicole is just singing the whole time.

I'm like, what is she singing?

She goes, she's singing, I don't want to lose your love tonight.

Nicole says the way down the mountain is hilarious.

Yeah.

So like she had a good time and she is a good time.

But those like lead up moments.

Yeah, it was a lot.

That's pretty awesome.

She's singing an 80s song.

Not something like kids.

She wasn't singing like Taylor Swift or something.

She's heard on like a princess movie.

She's singing some really good music.

Katie was like enjoying her radio that she had in between her legs.

That was really fun.

I went up a couple ski lifts with Nicole when she was pumped and happy.

But also she's so tiny.

That ski lift hits her right in the butt.

And then you have to grab her.

Grab her and drink her up on it.

She's not on the seat.

Every time.

That happened every time.

Every time we get.

So there's these part dudes hanging out at the gondolas, right?

You know, tell you if you get on it wrong or whatever.

Or just to push the stop button.

Yeah.

And every time we got up there with Nicole and got successfully on the lift,

the guy would go, good job.

Yeah.

Way to go, dad.

Way to go, mom.

Way to go, dad.

They've seen some ****.

He's like, I don't want to hit this button.

Yeah.

Good job.

One of us had her by the back of her clothes, yanking her.

And the other one had the arm underneath her arm.

Because like getting her off too,

you have to like lift her up and scoot her out.

So the place.

What's this?

Wait.

Do you remember?

Okay.

So there was a slope situation coming off of the,

coming off of the lift, the two person lift.

Dale and Nicole are in front of me.

I'm in the seat behind.

Oh my gosh.

Nicole.

They get to the top.

Dale successfully gets off of the lift.

Nicole does not.

She falls off and then lays like a mermaid.

**** top of the mountain.

And meanwhile, there's a, there's a straight cliff behind her.

It's just snow, but like.

Five foot drop.

She's going all the way down.

Yeah.

She didn't go down it.

No, she just laid there.

So we're getting ready to get off.

I got her own and the guy, you know, at the bottom goes,

good job.

And we get to the top and I'm like,

all right, we're getting ready to get off.

Grab hold of me.

She put her arm around mine and I've got her like this.

She got her arm through here.

That was a mistake.

He didn't have a hole to her.

I'm like, we're going to get up and I'm going,

we're going to lift and I'm going to pick you up.

And as soon as the thing did, she just lets go.

She just pulls her arm out and she go and the,

and she just froze and fell off.

Yeah.

Fell off.

Straight fell off.

So I ski down this little slope and I'm like,

you know, I'm going to get back up that.

I've got to come out of my skis.

I can't ski back up that hill.

And I look in the box and the lady that's running the thing.

She goes, don't worry.

I got it.

It's the button.

She puts your shoes on and goes out there, picks up.

Nicole sends you down.

It takes a minute though because she didn't have her shoes on

in the little box.

She's comfortable.

And Amy can see any of this.

And they're taking pictures of Nicole laying on her side.

And I'm behind, from behind just waiting for Nicole just to

make one wrong move and tumble down that little mountain.

I'm like, this is a disaster.

Yeah, it was, it was fine.

It was scary.

After that, I was like, all right, Nicole, we're going to get

down to the bottom of the mountain.

We're going to go get some donuts.

Screw this.

No more skiing for us.

So do we have a ski trip?

We need to just apprey all day.

So do we have a ski trip plan for the future?

Yeah.

We're going to go every year, I think.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Winter park.

Winter park was fabulous.

For families and kids.

A lot of great places to eat.

Great people.

I had, we were, we went up to this little tubing thing to do some tubing.

Oh yeah.

So there's a couple of tubing options.

We went down the road and this, it is fast.

It is lightning fast.

The first one.

I'm just saying, like, if you go to winter park, you have to hit the hit the

hit the tubes.

So we're, we're at the tubing thing and Nicole comes over with a box of candy and

it's gummy worms and really chewy sticky.

And I got a couple of crowns and, and I grabbed one of those pieces of candy and

my crown came off.

Oh.

Tap all had a tooth couple.

That's not good on the road.

That was, that was the other slope.

That was like day, day one.

Well, I was just going to tell the story if I was funny.

So we, I'm sitting, I know it when it happens immediately.

And I was like, and so I text my dentist and I'm like, man, I'm in Colorado.

Got a couple of days.

I'll be home Friday night.

I was like, you know, what do you want me to do?

He's like, don't worry about it.

Just come in.

I'll come in Saturday morning.

You can do it real quick.

Put it back in a problem.

I'm like, all right.

He's, I said, he said, if you want to look at a place, you know, if you want to get a

dentist there to do it.

So I get on the Google maps and found a dentist right in town and I called him and

I was like, Hey, I was like, this is what happened.

I was like, what do you think?

Help me.

The lady's like, I'll see you in the morning, 830.

I was like, okay.

And so he get up in the morning and I'm like, Amy, will you go with me to the

dentist?

I didn't want to go by myself.

Oh, that's, so here's the thing about Dale and teeth.

If some, and I get it.

When something's wrong with his teeth, a crown comes off, something happens.

He like implodes.

He's like, he goes into his little shell and everything sucks until he gets his teeth fixed.

And so I was very proud of him that he was actually able to figure out a solution and

get it done before we got home because then that would have derailed the rest of the trip.

But I'm like, 830.

I'm like, who's going to stay with the kids?

Cause I knew that the big girls and Katie and Kobe were probably going to go down to

the slopes and they have to leave by then to get down there.

Um, I'm like, I don't know if I can do that.

I think you'll be fine.

It's like literally half a mile down the road because do you think your dad would go with me?

I'm like, you want to take Jeff to the dentist with you?

Cause if my dad was on the trip with us and dad, my dad's like, I'll go with you.

It's no problem.

I'll go.

You want, you want me to go to the dentist with you?

I was like, this is a new level of needing attention or needing help.

Not needing attention.

Nope.

It needs the word.

You want your word.

Yes, I am needy, but it's like, I don't like going anywhere by myself.

But you get there and you're just sitting in the lobby anyway.

It's not like we're holding each other's hand.

And once you're back in the room, you're not with them.

Room.

And you're, you know, that was, so he did say that wasn't a room.

Everybody's lined up next to each other.

So we go to the dentist and the ladies in there are super sweet and we go to the back

and the dude, he fixes it right up.

They knocked it out of the park.

No problem.

Quick and easy.

And we got out of there and then we went.

Bought some things.

Yeah.

We went to the bakery and bought some donuts and things.

Shopping and so forth.

And so, I mean, we had some objectives outside of the dentist and it didn't take that long,

but we got it.

It didn't.

But the fact that he, as his adult self still wants someone to go with him to do things like that.

What would happen if Isla's married and her husband needs to go to the dentist and ask you?

Yeah, that's a great question.

And her 51 year old husband asks you to go with him.

You know what I'd say?

I'd say I get it, man.

I'll f**king go.

Hell yeah.

I'll f**king go, man.

He probably did ask the right person.

My dad's an only child and he probably is just as needy.

You want to go?

If I thought it would have been awkward, I would have been out and not asked.

No, I know.

But Jeff is totally the dude that would go with me.

And he might enjoy having a long time with Dale and just like.

Probably.

Bond.

Yeah.

Bond over someone.

Y'all are making something out of nothing.

And if that's what you need to do for your show, fine.

Damn straight.

I'm in the content business.

You are the something.

You are.

This isn't made up.

I volunteered to f**king to story.

Yeah.

My story.

Well, it's our story, actually.

So we go tubing.

There's two tubing places.

And we cram in the second one before we go snowmobiling on our last day there.

And it's down the street and it's in this little like

hut you go in and the kid working in there has a hard time getting us all registered.

Like it's a process.

So like we're all like a little bit frustrated by the time we get to the tubes.

I'll be straight on.

And we didn't have enough time really to do all this before we went to the snowmobiles.

When we so when we left the house, the plan was not to go tubing because we were snowmobiling later

that afternoon or that morning.

We were snowmobiling.

None of us could figure out what we really needed.

And I thought and we were we hadn't ate and we were all.

So the rest of us did.

You did not.

Oh, when we were when we left the house, the plan was we were going to eat.

And by time we were going to have a leisurely lunch and then go to the snowmobiles and I was on

my phone all the way right wherever and looking down, not looking at drive.

I drove some of this trip.

And so this particular trip I got to play on my phone like a lot of people.

And so we I look up and we're at the freaking tubing thing.

And I'm like, how did this happen?

What are we doing?

How did I get here?

And they're like, yeah, we decided to go tubing.

You weren't paying attention.

Here we are.

And I'm like, oh, just like you weren't paying attention.

This whole conversation is happening in the car around you.

Like you were you didn't have headphones on like you.

I know I wasn't paying attention.

I know.

I don't it's a gift to be able to really not pay attention that well.

I don't know how to do that.

You're calling it a gift here.

So I'm trying to lift you back up so that you don't get really mad at me.

I was I was just saying.

Just saying.

I was so annoyed that we were tubing.

I was like, I was trying my hardest.

But this slope looks like so much more fun than the other one.

He didn't tube on the other one.

So we're like, all right, we're going to just go hit this.

That's right.

Cause your tooth popped off.

But this one was super fast.

It was super fun.

So we got we get the tubes.

We get finally get our tickets.

We get helmeted up all the things dad didn't put a helmet on, which he just refused.

Really?

No, he did.

He had his he still has his 1995 neon pink stuff from he had a baseball cap trips forever ago.

And so he still wears that stuff when he goes skiing.

So he could see where he was going because he had a neon pink hat on.

He gets his tube.

He doesn't hear very well anymore.

So he's going to one of the one of the escalator belt things.

And he goes to the one in the middle.

Well, they had told us when we were in the truck that that middle one wasn't working

to go to the one on the right.

It was the only belt working.

Well, he didn't pay attention to that or he just couldn't hear.

And so he heads out in front of everybody because he's tired of the kids complaining

having to pull their tubes all of a while.

Listen, this is epic.

And he goes all the way to the middle, which is not close.

Like it's pretty far out there.

It's like 75 yards out.

It's windy.

And the other ones even way further.

It's further.

So he gets out there and his little card gets him through the little

opener and he just stands there because the belt's not moving.

But then he just stands there for like 10 minutes.

He's standing there.

He's pushing buttons.

He's stepping on the thing, like thinking maybe it's censored or something.

Katie's trying to call him.

Katie's trying to text him.

He's not looking at his phone.

It's like not his inclination to just like pick that up.

And so eventually he gets really pissed off and you can see him kind of moving his head

like he's talking to himself.

Goes back through there and marches all the way back to the to the gate or to the little hut

where you have to check in.

It was a lot of work just pulling that thing back and forth.

And so Dale.

Yeah.

I went up down the slope a couple of times with Nicole.

So I've done my dad duty.

I went twice.

I waited at the bottom of this hill.

Here comes Amy.

I'm like, Amy, I'm.

I was doing it by myself.

I traded off.

I'm like, do you want to take Nicole a couple of times?

I'm good.

Yep.

Great.

Okay.

So I walked back to the hut and I come walking over there and Jeff's leaning up against the hut.

And he looks like he's just waiting on us.

And I was like, hey, Jeff, I'm going to go sit in a truck, man.

You want to go sit in the truck?

Let's just sit in the truck and wait on him.

And I thought he'd be like, hell, yeah, let's go sit in the truck.

He goes, I'm waiting on the damn manager.

I was like, really?

He goes, hell, yeah, I walked over there and that belt's broke.

And it's like, I know they told us not to use it to go the other one.

He goes, well, I ain't walking all the way back over there now.

I'm waiting on the manager.

They're going to give me my money back.

I'm not walking way over there to get on that one.

That belt's broke.

I want my money.

And I'm like, holy s***.

It's like one of them things where they're like, hey, man,

you're turning into your parents.

Oh, yeah.

And I was like, this dude's crossed the line.

He's crossed into the next threshold of I want to see the manager.

Like every other place he goes into, it's going to be one of those.

I need to see the manager.

Service going good.

I'll let me talk to the manager.

Or it's your supervisor.

My sandwich doesn't look like the picture up there.

I want to see the manager.

You know, remember in that, what is that movie?

I don't know.

That's funny.

No.

Oh, God.

The sandwich doesn't look like the picture.

Yeah.

Where he goes crazy.

He's going to drive me crazy.

He's going to look it up for us.

Trying to help our brain parts.

It was amazing though.

And it was scary.

I told dad.

Falling down.

So the movie's falling down.

And he goes into a fast food joint to get breakfast.

And they're like, we're no longer serving breakfast.

And he goes, I won't breakfast.

And they're like, sir, it's 1105.

Breakfast is over at 11.

And he's like, fine, I'll take a number three.

And they throw it on the table in front of him.

And he goes, and it's all up.

And he's like, this doesn't look like that.

He's like this anti-hero that kind of goes through this day,

kind of fix and broke like that.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

But he's lost his mind, but he is not wrong.

It is wild.

Remember when they extended breakfast?

Like they never used to.

Like that wasn't a normal thing.

Yeah.

By the way, this is my final story for the day.

We had another cuss word from Nicole.

Bulls.

What did she say?

She was, she had just done a really good job eating dinner.

Like the girl eating dinner is like an Olympic sport, right?

You have to like, how many bites, how many bites,

how many numbers of bites they're always asking.

I'm like, just eat.

So they smashed dinner.

She's got like three tater tots, sweet potato tots, you know,

like three of those left on her plate.

And I told her that they ate well,

then they were going to get some ice cream.

And yes, I bribed the kids with ice cream.

And there's no shame in that, but she gets close to the end

and she looks over at Isla and she goes, what the hell?

Just without any reason.

And I'm like, I just look up.

I'm like, wait, what?

What did you just say?

She goes, I mean, I was like, you know what you said.

Why'd you do that?

Like, you know, we don't talk like that.

And I'm trying to go through the whole thing.

Just call me, like trying to get her to tell me something.

And Isla didn't even hear it.

She was like, what'd she say?

I was like, I'm not going to repeat it for her.

And I was like, no ice cream.

You don't get ice cream anymore.

And she gets really upset.

She's like, no, I'm sorry.

I want ice cream.

I was like, nope, no ice cream.

And so we sat there for a few more minutes.

She has like, fighting her just to eat those last three tater tots.

And I thought about it.

I'm like, I got to punish her somehow for this

so that she knows she can't do it.

So I tell her she can earn back the ice cream,

but she has to do a chore.

And she's like, okay.

And she kind of lights up.

The kid likes to clean.

She wants that.

She has her own little vacuum.

She'll help me with trash.

She likes to wipe things down.

She does that kind of stuff.

So I Google like tours for kids

and they're all like cleaning things like that.

I'm like, well, that's not going to work for her.

That's going to make her feel validated.

Like she can't do any of those chores.

So I'm like, I'm going to do something

that's going to gross her out.

And I told her she had to eat a spoonful of honey

to earn the ice cream back

because the texture of that makes her want to gag.

She should have did ketchup.

Well, next time it might be ketchup.

Yeah, because she's missing out.

So I put-

She won't try ketchup.

She won't try it.

Well, honey's really thick and sticky.

So like the purpose was to piss her off

or make her understand.

Believe it or not, this would absolutely piss her off.

I know a lot of people are like, what the hell is this honey?

Well, I put-

I put a good dollop of honey on a tiny little kid's crew.

You're cool.

You made her have a good job.

Hear me out.

So I put it on there and Ila's dying laughing

because she's like, this is going to be awesome.

She's like, I want some honey.

Can I have some honey?

Like, no, get out of here.

So we're sitting in the kitchen floor.

She's like on her knees trying to talk herself into doing this.

I was like, just turn it up and just lick it.

And she's like, she starts to gag herself.

I'm with her.

I don't like honey.

You don't?

No.

Well, Nicole doesn't like condiments or-

Toothpaste is a texture.

Any texture of any kind of a-

So yeah, this is a bad-

This is her worst nightmare.

She won't put syrup on her pancakes or nothing.

Wow.

Yes.

That's no mustard, no ketchup.

Everything's dry.

Yeah.

So she finally gets the courage to stick her finger in there

and just take a bite and she goes, this is disgusting.

And I was like, you gotta eat the whole thing.

She goes like, I don't want it.

I was like, well, then you don't get any ice cream.

She goes, I want the ice cream.

I was like, then you have to eat the honey.

And so I'm like, this is for that cuss word, remember?

This isn't really about the ice cream.

And so eventually she takes a lick of it,

then truly starts to gag, like, reflect.

I thought she was going to vomit.

Then I take the spoon from her and she goes,

I won't do it again.

I was like, the next time it's going to be mayonnaise, kid.

It's like, the next time you do this,

I'm going to give you a spoonful of something really-

Maybe some barbecue sauce.

What are we going to do?

Yeah.

I am heartbroken about her.

She did it for attention.

There was no context, there was no conversation happening.

No.

You're heartbroken about her condiment issue?

I'm heartbroken about the condiment issue.

We have to keep making her try it.

But why does it matter to you if she doesn't like condiments?

Yeah.

Why does it matter to you?

Well, A, all right, what is it?

It's a sensory issue.

It's a sensory issue that it's like a wire cross.

You know, she-

Kind of like a jewelry phobia?

Yeah.

Toothpaste, ketchup, syrup, anything like that,

she's excluded out of her life, right?

And so I just know like her sister's over there eating fries and ketchup.

Here's the thing though.

She'll-

We're having to hide the f***ing ketchup.

We don't have to hide it.

Oh yeah, we have to hide it from Riley.

She'll drink the whole thing.

But she'll- Nicole will have ice cream with chocolate syrup all over it.

Yes.

So there's the loophole.

I think it's just her mind.

You know what I mean?

That's like I would like, there's certain foods I wouldn't like or desserts and

people like ask my parents and they're like,

I don't care if he doesn't eat it, that's more for us or like it doesn't-

Well, yeah.

It's not like it's a bad thing that eat like, if you don't eat condiments, that's-

She's not hurting herself.

Yeah.

It's not like she's losing some nutritional value.

Yeah.

That's true.

It's just-

If she wasn't eating like protein or stuff that you need, like-

Yeah, we went through that with Isla.

That was hard.

So I got this new watch.

But it was a really fun torture moment for me.

That's really fun.

One more thing about the trip, well, we had a couple things about the trip we didn't get to,

but I got this watch and I talked about this on the Dell Junior Download.

I have the Bass Pro Shops Club Card.

I use it to buy everything and it puts free-

It puts money in my account rewards that I can-

Yeah, he's got reward points.

That I can use at Bass Pro.

And so I got this watch, Connor Zillich and Marty Lindley told me about it.

And it's just a Garmin.

And so I've been wearing it for the last couple of weeks.

Coincidentally, we go on a ski trip.

So I'm logging my runs and it does it automatically.

It knows when you're on the chairlift.

It knows when you're back on the ice or the snow.

It's super smart.

It's very smart.

And I wiped out.

I was going down this hill in like day one or two

and my damn legs got tired and I got tired of turning.

And I was coming to the steep part that flattened out and went off to the gondola.

And I'm like, well, I want to keep up enough speed to soar this flat space to the gondola.

So screw it.

I'm going to just go straight and I got up to 35 miles an hour and busted my ass.

I didn't know you fell right there in front of everybody.

Not.

I mean, in front of Kobe, Kobe was the only one.

Well, maybe right there down at the bottom.

No, it was a long flat run to the gondola.

And so I was going to try to keep, get as much speed as I could.

Like in the mountain somewhere, not down at the bottom.

Yes, not at the bottom.

Got it, right.

And so I crashed at 35 miles an hour,

falling on that ice at the base, walking hurt worse somehow.

Kobe also laughed his ass off.

Oh, hell yeah.

So everybody's probably wondering if I busted my ass.

Yes, a few times.

I did bust my ass and one time very spectacularly at 35 miles an hour.

And I lived to tell about it.

I did not bust my ass.

So, but I didn't ski as near as much as Dale did.

The Garmin watch, okay.

I had this thing and they were telling me when I got it,

Marty and me were talking about things that it does.

It tracks your sleep and all this stuff.

And I'm thinking, all right, you know, it's kind of encouraging me

to be a little more healthier.

So that's nice.

He said, man, the battery lasts for days and days and days.

I was like, that's, he's like, you'll see.

And he ain't lying.

I've charged, I've had this thing for probably two and a half,

three weeks and I've charged it twice and it charges in minutes.

I had an Apple watch.

I don't wear it anymore because you got to take the sum off every day

and put it on the charger.

Like, what is the deal?

Well, it's probably like what it's doing.

Are you really going to try to like the Apple watch?

You're pulling like you're getting text messages.

This is doing all that too.

Does it get text messages on that?

Yeah, thanks.

See, this thing does everything the Apple watch does.

It gives you notifications from your phone.

Text messages.

It's doing your heart rate.

Let me see.

It's, it's, it's gathering.

Does it track your anxiety?

It's gathering information right now.

My heart rate, calories burned, steps I'm taking, all that.

It's doing stuff all the time.

Way more than my Apple watch I ever asked it to do.

And my Apple watch couldn't live for a freaking day, two days.

This thing's, what's that all about?

Well, according to Chad.

Yeah, what'd Chad say?

Garmin watches last longer than Apple watches because they are engineered

for power efficiency, featuring specialized low power displays, like memory,

and pixel less demanding operating systems.

Well, they were background processes.

So like, well, that's Apple watches problem right now.

But, but they also give you things that can make it better than the Garmin,

depending on what you want.

I don't know about that.

I mean, can you text from your app from the Garmin?

Probably.

Yeah.

You can talk to it.

We have to know.

No.

Can you look?

Yes.

I'm probably sure you can.

Okay.

Are you really going to ask Chad that?

Wait, Chad?

Well, I miss, I was talking to the guys the other day in text.

And I'm, and I was talking to my phone like, Hey guys, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I said, I asked Chad about blah, blah, blah.

And that's what Chad said.

And it missed it auto corrected to Chad.

And I said, all right, I'm never calling Chad.

It's always Chad for now.

I'm never calling Chad, Chad anymore.

Now it's Chad from here on out because that's way better.

I feel like you should call it Chet.

No, Chad.

Like some weird.

Because the AI is so imperfect.

Chad is the perfect name for it.

Sorry, Chad's in the world.

But if you know, if your name is Chad, you already know that.

I don't know Chad.

Chad's know their brads and Chad's.

Brads and Chad's, yeah.

Chad's know that thing about their name.

They're typically like lax bros and probably working finance.

Like they wear a little vest.

You're good at explaining this.

Travis knows about Chad's.

Yeah.

Man.

There you are.

So that's what we're calling Chad now for now, Chad.

So when we say, Hey man, you talk to Chad, I talk to Chad about it.

And he said this.

It's hilarious.

But it's very fitting.

But my voice don't sound like a Chad.

I'm going to change it.

No, it doesn't sound like it's six.

You're just kind of sexy, actually.

The voice in my car for my phone is an Australian accent.

Now I'm jealous of this AI voice.

Cali.

That's a sexy voice.

You chose it for yourself.

Chad.

Chad is.

Hey, Chad.

Hey, you do.

That's good.

What do you need today, honey?

Some dentistry?

Yeah, I'll go with you to the dentist.

Oh, Jesus.

All right.

Let's do some ass gamey.

You don't want to talk about the tooth fairy flub?

No.

I forgot to do the tooth fairy thing again.

She's gotten so used to it, she wasn't even upset.

She's gotten used to being disappointed.

Yeah, she's like, she didn't show up.

Like maybe she'll come later on.

So you talk about my anxiety all the time.

Whenever that happens, like when you forget to do the tooth fairy,

or if you come, if you text me and you're like,

I forgot to do the elves, I get this sense of like.

He's gratified.

I'm gratified.

He feels better about himself.

When I crap, he feels better about himself.

I'm gratified, not because she messed up,

because she's got anxiety.

And I'm like, now she knows that.

That's so evil.

That is not evil.

Kind of.

I mean, it is.

He fixes the elves, but he ain't damn,

he has never volunteered to be the tooth fairy.

Well, damn, I mean, it's happened four times.

It's not like something,

it's not like this thing that goes 30 days in a row.

It's hard.

Amy forgot to do the tooth fairy this week.

She lost, the kid lost the tooth

as soon as we got home from spring break.

It's this whole, she pulled it out in the middle of the day.

And so like we have to hold onto the tooth

and the baggy all day long and she goes to put it in there.

And her tooth fairy has come in the middle of the day sometimes

when she's in the pool or whatever, because you know.

Tooth fairy is working nonstop.

The tooth fairy just has to be there when you're not there.

Well, she puts it under her pillow and gets up for school

and the tooth fairy didn't come again.

And I wake up, it's like 5.30 in the morning,

I look over and I hit Dale in the chest.

I was like, I forgot to do the tooth fairy again.

And I go, hey, she has anxiety like me.

She has a moment of anxiety that I have all day, you know.

So I go get my little tooth fairy coins

and I have them in my pocket and I can hear them jingling.

So I'm like trying to hold them just in case I can sneak in there

while she's brushing her teeth or something.

Tooth fairy didn't come to that afternoon,

but she wasn't even upset about it

because she's had that happen so many times.

And I feel like her tooth fairy in her mind,

her tooth fairy is like this retired chill.

She's not really a tooth fairy anymore.

Maybe she's like kind of comes out of retirement every now and then.

She's like a yoga cam or maybe she's just sitting at the spoken sigs.

Like she's just not on a schedule.

She's doing it when she's doing it.

Her name's Marge maybe.

Yeah, that's what her name is in my mind.

That's what the tooth fairy now has the persona.

I think I'll feel about it.

I got up that morning and was downstairs

and I was getting ready for school.

And she goes, dude, the tooth fairy didn't come this morning.

And she just said it like, yeah, you know,

yeah, nonchalant happens.

She used to cry about it.

Now she's just like, that damn tooth fairy is a lazy ass.

You know, maybe I have to wait till tomorrow.

They don't always come every time.

And I'm like, I felt so guilty.

And I'm trying not to let it show in my face

because she wants to keep talking about it.

Yeah, it's a thing.

Sorry guys, we are rambling,

but we're back in the studio for another round of

bless your heart and ask Amy.

What are your questions this week?

So we're going to play a game of screw Mary kill.

Oh, I think these three you're going to really enjoy.

Trading cards, video games, eye racing.

This is weird.

So which one has to go away permanently?

Which one can be periodically and which one can stay forever?

Stay forever.

This sucks.

Dale, you have to answer it when you're done, when she's done.

I'm going to screw eye racing.

I'm going to marry the baseball cards,

and I'm going to kill the video games.

Wow.

The baseball cards are quiet.

They're worth money.

There's some currency there.

And I don't know, eye racing seems like a fun, fast thing.

And the video games is something TJ controls,

which is controlling free time.

So like, go get rid of that.

Does that look okay?

I would

marry eye racing, screw video games, and kill baseball cards.

Wow.

Not even closely aligned here.

I guess because the trading cards are like new, so it's easy to...

Yeah, eye racing is in my DNA.

Yeah, it's who you are.

And video games sort of is too.

Yeah.

I like it.

And the card stuff I think is fleeting.

It makes sense.

Something's going.

Our next question, is it okay to wear sunglasses in the airport?

I say yes.

Yes.

I think it's all right to wear sunglasses at any moment, any time of day.

So I like to wear my sunglasses too.

If I don't want people...

I don't want to make eye contact with everybody in the airport.

I feel like that's okay, unless they're like super dark.

Like, I don't know, that gets a little weird.

Especially like there's a lot of sunlight.

There's a lot of sunlight in the airports.

There's a lot of glass.

Chances are you might be hung over.

You might be having some drinks.

And you just need that little hug around your face.

Yeah, I wear my sunglasses sometimes in the plane.

Like it's bright.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it's fine to wear sunglasses anytime of day, anywhere.

I used to not.

Now, you know, back in the day that, you know, the song,

I wear my sunglasses at night.

I mean, in my 20s, if someone wore sunglasses at night,

it was like, what the hell, why is that?

You know, what's not necessary.

But when you turn 50, you're like...

I feel like when that happens, when you turn about 40.

Maybe it does.

Maybe it happens at 40.

The **** it's just come right on in.

Yeah, you just don't give a ****.

Speaking of...

Now we have to acknowledge...

My band-aid...

Dale's got a boo-boo on his face.

I scratched myself, taken my helmet off while I was testing

in tires at Nashville because of my ****.

My...

He has some shanks on his...

Shanky freaking fingernails.

I'm bad at not getting them, keeping them trimmed and nice.

And then I got there testing, driving race cars.

And when I drive race cars, I chip and brake and tear up my nails.

And just working and fiddling.

Like, do you never see pick at them?

No, just getting out of the car stuff.

Bang them on things and crack them.

And I mean, my knuckles get all busted up and stuff.

Well, that's actually a perfect segue to this next question.

This lady wants to know, how often is it okay to go get a manny petty

because her husband thinks she goes too much?

Her husband thinks she goes too much?

Yeah.

But her nails, like, she looks nice?

They go get a manny and pedicure.

Like, how often, like, do you think is a good number for...

I mean, I go about every two weeks and that's only because they grow out

and you kind of need to do that.

But I feel like if you have the time, I mean, you could go every week.

There's nothing, it's not like...

I'm surprised he views it that way.

Yeah.

Like, I view you going doing that as like...

It's self-care.

Yeah, you taking...

It's necessary.

That's going to make you happy.

Like, I'm going to get a happier version of you when you get back.

Please go take care of yourself so that you come back in a better mood.

They'll have you ever had a manny or petty before?

Yeah.

He's had pedicures, never a manicure.

Oh, I don't know what that is.

The manicures on your fingers.

Oh, yeah.

I could do manicure.

I don't think I would ever want someone touching my toes.

Really?

I didn't like that.

So he didn't love it either and I talked him into it.

Maybe Tim did.

Tim Duggar likes to get a pedicure.

And so he was in town forever ago and we all went together as like a fun outing.

On one of my big toes, I got...

On one of my big toes, the nail is kind of sensitive on one at one side because...

And it's got this kind of potential to be like an ingrown.

If I don't keep it trimmed up.

And it's sensitive.

And the lady was like digging in there, the son of a bitch.

And I'm like, not feeling good.

He starts purting his lips that are like, I'm going to kick you in the face.

I'm like, I don't like this.

It's supposed to feel good.

Well, they help you take care of your nails too.

So if you go all the time, they would probably trim it back.

You just have to talk to her.

You know, tell her like, hey, this one's a little sensitive.

She's just trying to clean it up.

Especially if you only go once in your whole life.

There's probably some stuff underneath they'll dig out.

I got man nails and they're all imperfect and...

He's had it.

What he...

It's not a thing.

But here's the thing, unless you're like at the beach, something,

men's toes should not be seen to the public.

His toes are bad.

They shouldn't be good or not.

Guys toes, I think should be covered unless you're like at the beach or pool or something.

Guys shouldn't be wearing flip-flops on a Tuesday.

It is an odd thing to see a man's feet during regular hours.

Yeah, you shouldn't.

Really?

Yeah.

You see him when you get into the bed,

like even if you've got your, like lounge clothes on at home,

you have socks on your feet.

Sure.

That's true.

Well, I'm at home.

I don't have socks on.

You don't?

But you're by yourself.

Yeah.

But like, I have shoes that cover my toes.

Do you get your toes done?

No.

I don't think I would ever let someone touch my toes and work on.

Like, well, I've been to like a podiatrist before, but that's...

I feel like an ingrown tongue.

That's probably where he needs to head with that toe with his, the podiatrist.

My toes fine.

What else do you have, Travis?

What are some things that you can only get in Texas that you miss from time to time?

It's the food.

I miss the homemade tortillas, the Mexican food.

Like everywhere you go has like a bean and cheese burrito or taco.

And that's what I grew up eating.

That's the damn truth.

Like the places that look like a hole in wall, like you know, but they're like the best.

Oh, they have the best food.

When we go to the, when we went to our skiing trip.

Well, I'll just say this.

When I hang out with Amy's family, there's a 75% chance that when we go eat, it's going to be Mexican.

And like, I grew up where you going to a Mexican restaurant was like a, a special occasion or

you know, oh man, we're going to go to Mexican tonight.

You know, but with them, it's like...

It's what you eat.

It's like...

It's the first choice.

It's my favorite.

It's the opposite.

It's the first choice.

So if there's a Mexican restaurant in town, they're like, well, that's where we're going.

Yeah.

Of course, of course, that's where we're going.

Yeah.

The taqueria was right down the street.

That's where we ate.

Yeah.

I know.

It's different.

There's homemade.

It's so good.

It's so, it's so different.

I'm eating, I'm eating a lot of Mexican these days.

I get tortillas when I go home and, and freeze them and bring them back.

And you can tell a difference.

Yes.

It's very different.

But that's what I miss the most is the food.

The barbecue is also very good.

The Texas food is just special.

I mean, of course I miss my family and the people with the food.

I didn't know if there's any other like things other than food.

Any specifics?

Colaches.

Does anybody do know what a colache is?

So like, there's a lot of Germans in Central Texas and they make these like yeast rolls with

sausages or ham and cheese and stuff like that.

And it's a breakfast item.

So like even the donut chops also have colaches and they are so good.

Yeah, you brought some home and those are fantastic.

They're freaking awesome.

Yeah.

Nowhere around here makes those.

It's like a big ass pig in the blanket.

It's like a, yeah.

It's like a hot pocket, but like the bread is sweet and fresh and it's so,

and you can keep it for a while and or freeze them and cook them.

So sometimes I do that, but yeah, there's always a special little food items.

Yeah.

What is something you refuse to do or learn how to do?

An example is the person, but they don't know how to mow and they're not mowing.

Like that's their husband and that's what they do.

They're not doing that.

Yeah.

So that's a good choice.

If you don't want to ever have to do something, you're refused to learn.

I refuse to try to do my taxes.

Same.

Well, yeah.

I'm sure that would be a hot damn mess.

Well, I know people that do do them on their own and it's scary.

Okay.

So like as a race car driver, if you're making money in all these different states,

you have to file taxes and all of these different places.

But I know there are people that do it and I couldn't imagine.

I'd be so scared and nervous that I f***ed up and then our rest is going to show up on

my doorstep.

I didn't mean to.

I didn't mean it.

Man, I'm just not good at this.

Oh man.

What is something.

I have a family friend that does mine.

I don't, I've never done my tag.

F***, that makes me nervous.

That's good.

That's a smart thing.

I don't think I'll ever try to learn how to ride a motorcycle.

I have tried to ride the scooters in Key West.

It's not for me.

I don't have any business being in charge of a motor with two wheels.

I can balance a bike and ride a bike just fine.

But I feel like a motorcycle is one of those things that's like,

it's a little too scary and I'm just going to wreck myself.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Skydiving?

Hell no.

Well, you're not going to learn, but would you go skydiving though?

No.

Absolutely not.

I would go to like now.

I would leave and go skydiving right now.

I've never done it before, but I would.

No, I couldn't.

I don't think I'd be able to push myself out.

Yeah, I would do it, but I'd have to get my work wrapped in my brain.

I need a little, I couldn't walk out this door and just go get on the plane and go do it.

Well, half the people that go up have to get pushed out.

The instructor pushes them out.

Well, you're usually on a tandem.

Like someone's, you're strapped to the person.

Yeah.

So you're going.

Yeah, you're going whether you want to or not.

Even when you get up there, you sign the waiver on the ground that says,

I'm going to push you out that door.

Are you okay with that?

And you check the box.

So you don't really have a choice.

That would freak me out.

I probably would have a harder tackle.

Like down, I'd be like out.

Like one thing, like this is probably, especially some of our fans would hate this.

Like, I don't know how to change a tire, change oil and I'm not learning.

I don't know how to change oil.

Dale definitely does.

I learned how to change my tires, rotate my tires by my dad in high school.

He made me do that one day.

I was going to, it was Friday night.

I'm a cheerleader.

I have a white uniform on and I'm headed to the football stadium for the game.

And it is getting to be crunch time.

Like I'm almost going to be late.

And he's like, Hey girl, it's time to learn how to change your tire.

I'm like, dad, it is not the time to learn how to change my tire.

He's like, yeah, because he works shift work.

He's got, he's got certain blocks of time.

He's like, no, we're going to do this right now.

And so I had to learn how to do that in my cheerleading uniform on a Friday night.

And I was late to the football game.

It's kind of turtle.

And I will never forget how to change a damn tire.

That's for sure.

Yeah.

That's a turn on.

Yeah.

Is it turning on more that I didn't get any grease on my outfit?

I mean, it doesn't matter.

Just you and a cheerleader uniform changing the tire.

I don't know if it gives me, gives me a feeling.

Okay.

Good to know.

Very good.

Good to know.

If I, if I want some attention, I now know how to get it.

Yeah.

Well, that in the shirt, the one shirt.

Do we have any more questions Travis?

Where Dale starts revealing all of our secrets.

Speaking of cheerleading, are you a basketball fan at all?

Do you root for Kentucky still?

Yeah. Yeah.

I cheered for Kentucky for my first year and got to cheer for the basketball games.

So that was so fun.

I, I don't pay as much as attention as I should, but when it comes to March Madness

and the tournament and everything, I always kind of chime in and see what they're doing.

I bow for them a little bit.

Basketball team was badass when I was there.

Toby Smith was the coach then.

So good.

They were good.

They're still good.

I mean, Kentucky's still pretty solid.

It's basketball.

They're good, but they're not.

Not like they were.

Like, I mean, Toby won the national championship there.

They were really good.

It was fun.

Yeah. The tournament's cranking up.

Yep. Turner's cranking it up.

When does that start?

I want to do a bracket.

We should do a bracket.

So we actually have a bracket and I left it open and I've noticed

some people must have just searched dirty on media because there's like some random people

that joined our bracket pool.

So I'll send you the link so she can do it.

You got to do it quick, like in the next couple of hours.

The first game is at 1215.

Oh, you got an hour.

Okay. Well, y'all are going to have to help me then.

That'll be fun.

Yeah.

I want in.

You can make some bets too if you want.

Yeah. Oh, I'm betting.

I like to do all this for money.

Let's play.

Oh, well, the bracket's just for fun, but the...

What?

You have a you have a Fandall app.

Well, yeah, I could do it on my Fandall app.

All right. Well, that's all we got for today.

We can so we can get Amy to get her bracket and get that stuff done.

Sounds like I got some work to do.

Thank you guys for your questions.

Hope you listened to the show.

It was a lot of fun.

We rambled forever about our ski trips.

So enjoy that.

And if you haven't already hit the subscribe button

and also don't forget to check out all of the merch at shop.dirtymomedia.com.

Anything new on that with the merch?

Nothing new, but then we also have got a little other promotion here

that Dale might want.

It's on the screen here, Dale, if you look up.

Oh, not on the paper?

Nope.

Oh, we do.

So time is running out to purchase your raffle tickets for this year's vacation at Dale Jr.'s

package.

It's the lake house on Lake Norman, your package.

The 2026 package.

Not Dale Jr.'s package.

You're going to get a six night stay at our family lake house in North Carolina on Lake Norman.

You'll get VIP pit passes and tickets to the Charlotte race that weekend and so much more.

So the raffle ends March 31st at 11.59 p.m. Eastern.

And the winner will be drawn on the 8th of April.

So the raffle is going to end very soon.

And April 8th is the drawing for the winner.

More information to purchase these tickets is on the dalejunerfoundation.org website.

So it's a great way to support the Dale Jr. Foundation.

We have supported through the Foundation over 300 different charities and nonprofits.

We're working in everyone's community, including our own.

So any of this money that you buy these raffle tickets with goes directly toward that.

And hopefully, yeah, you'll support the Foundation and someone will win six nights.

That's awesome.

At the lake house.

Yeah.

And it's a nice place.

It's got swimming pool, all that fun stuff.

So you'll have a great time right here in Moorsville.

Check out Dirty Mo Media on Instagram, Facebook, X and TikTok.

First Run Fiasco: Amy vs. The Chairlift

ski

Dodge Charger

change a tire

change oil

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