How to get teen drivers (or any young driver) to listen and own their car-responsibilities
My Car Guru Podcast
How to get teen drivers (or any young driver) to listen and own their car-responsibilities
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22:47
Concept
behind the wheel
“Behind the wheel” just means actually driving the car. The idea here is that teens should practice and prove they can handle the car before they’re allowed to drive on their own.
Term
driver's test
A driver’s test is the official exam you take to prove you can drive safely. The host says it focuses more on rules and basic scenarios than on learning how to handle the car day-to-day.
Term
four-way stop
A four-way stop is an intersection where cars from four directions stop at the same time. Drivers have to follow rules about who goes first before moving on.
Term
state trooper
A state trooper is a police officer who enforces traffic laws, especially on roads. The host wants teens to be prepared for what happens during a traffic stop.
Term
DUI
DUI means driving while you’re impaired—like after drinking alcohol or using drugs. The host is saying teens should understand the real-life consequences, not just the rule.
Term
road rage
Road rage is when someone gets really angry while driving and starts acting aggressively. It can start from something small—like someone tailgating—and then turn into dangerous driving.
Concept
tailgating
Tailgating means you’re following another car too closely. If they slow down, you don’t have enough time to react safely, which can lead to crashes.
Concept
slam on my brakes
The example is about what happens if you suddenly brake when someone is right behind you. If they can’t stop fast enough, they can hit you, and other cars may crash too.
Concept
pull over
Pulling over means you move aside to let the other driver go. It helps you avoid getting into a dangerous back-and-forth situation.
LIVE
Hey folks, Lenny Lawson, the car guru here to visit with you a little bit this morning.
Yesterday I talked extensively about how important it was for you to get a copy of the teen
driver experience guidebook that I put together for an experience with a bunch of teenagers.
Over a period of two days we had 112, I believe was the count, teenagers come to my dealership
in Greenville, Tennessee and we tried to turn their attitudes around because we knew that if
we didn't turn their attitudes around and get their attention they wouldn't listen. Now some
of you probably have developed mastery over that. Every time that you ask your teenager to do something
they do it immediately. Like you need to get ready for school, oh okay and they jump out of bed,
they get dressed, they're on time, they don't forget anything and they get straight A's in school
and they're never a problem. They go to church with you, they have really good friends, they
associate with the right kind of people, not the wrong kind of people, they do know the difference,
they recognize the difference. Does that describe your teenager? Probably not. You know I just can't
believe all the stuff I learned about mine after the fact. I guess my two girls had to hit 35
before they would start confessing. Probably a combination of guilt, shame and having kids of
their own because we really tried hard as parents. We were too easy. We had high expectations but
low visibility and that's a problem. You know I've learned in business if you want to manage
behaviors you better watch them. In business we call it MBWA. You know how I hate acronyms but
that's a good one. Management by walking around observing behaviors but you know when we hand
the keys to the family vehicle to our kids and they drive out that driveway the first time. I remember
the first time my son drove out the driveway and my wife and I looked at each other and let's have a
little moment of prayer. You know it was just one of those scary situations and most of you have
faced it if you have young teen drivers. So we hope that we can get through to them right? That
they were listening but that's a problem. It really is. I mentioned yesterday that it was
almost like well what I saw when the kids came into our showroom on the Nissan side and they were
gathering their chairs. I knew that the most important thing would be to feed them something
they liked and that was pizza and all they just devoured it and I knew that would brighten the mood
just a little bit. And then I started with the story. You know if you tell stories people listen
better. If you just immediately start lecturing your kids or you know the kids that I used to have
in the youth group at church. I was a youth counselor for probably 15 years with my wife. We
did it together and we learned some valuable lessons. Of course she was a school teacher and I was a
kid because they were just slightly afraid of me. But still there was no guarantee and still no
guarantee that they will do what you ask them to do and most of these guys are in their early 30s
and up into their 40s and they still in some cases not all but in many cases behave like teenagers.
There's still a child in all of us right. I mean some of us are able to submerge that child better
than others. I have never been that good at it. My child has continued right along and I'm glad he
rides along with me. I have a little this may sound weird but I have a little picture of myself
standing beside my dog looking right at the camera biting my lower lip and I'm standing on a dirt
pile with Tonka toys all around me. The date of the picture is May 1962 and I keep that picture
beside me so that I can remind myself that that little boy is still around. He's just wrapped in
a 69 year old body and I want to keep him around because I think that's a part of my sanity. If I
grow up completely then I'll lose my childhood enthusiasms and how excited I get over certain
things. I don't want to become a sourpus and I certainly didn't want these teen drivers to
see a sourpus talking to them just lecturing them. I wanted them to have fun so we did and they
learned a lot and one of the things that I want to do is to just give you some pointers about what
we talked about and how we did it and I think that if you don't live anywhere near me and can't come
to our next teen driver experience then I want you to be able to either conduct it yourself go to
your nearby car dealer and ask them if they'll do it. It takes the right personality to pull
it off. Whoever is the speaker has to be able to relate to young people. They have to be a natural
storyteller and that's something that I've always been and it has served me well as has keeping that
little boy around just in case I need him. I'll be back in just a minute. Okay I think it's important
anytime you are going into a program like this you need to make sure you got your objectives
clearly laid out and so I came up with basically three guiding principles. I wanted to teach the
kids how to be safe. I wanted to teach them how to make smart decisions when it comes to their
car life and I wanted them or to instill in them a certain degree of confidence and where does that
come from? Why do you want them to be confident? Well because I want them to understand the vehicle
that they're driving, how it works, what the key components are. You know how does the braking
system work? How does the car, when you put gas in a car what happens next? How does it get to
where it needs to be and what's going on inside that engine? How important is it for the engine to
stay cool? How does it stay cool? What are the things that are required whether the systems that
are required to make that engine not overheat and when it does overheat what do you check? I mean
it's all of this myriad of stuff that we talk about on this radio program delivered in a way
that these kids could find it interesting and again it's not something that you can just stand up
in front of somebody or just here take this guidebook and read it because because you've told
them to they won't so it's something that has to be worked through. You have to have an example
and it helps to have a vehicle right there where you can show them not just talk about it but show
them and experience it. Give them the confidence of doing little things like checking the air
pressure in their tires, like checking their oil level, understanding why that's important,
why is lubrication important inside of an engine? If oil gets dirty what does that do? You know
when your car breaks down what do you lose? You lose your freedom, you lose mobility,
everybody wants to be able to get around. I know there's some people out there that maybe they
live in a big city and they've got public transportation they don't worry about being
able to get around personally in a car that they either own or lease. It's not necessary but for
most people in this world oh it's more than necessary it's essential and we don't have our
vehicle it's a problem. So yeah I want them to be confident and knowledge about the automobile
makes them so. It's not just something that you put gas in and then you turn the key and push
your foot on the accelerator when you want to stop you put your foot on the brake. I mean that
is the total extent that most people know about their cars and as important as the automobile is
and as expensive as it is they should know a little bit more. I mean you don't need to know that the
different types of metal that things made out of. See that's important to me I want to know
that stuff but you don't need to know that. You don't need to know about you know how many
different computers are on the car but it's important to know that that when one of them
goes bad and the the technician or the the dealership personnel tells you this is gonna
cost $1,500 you know what to say next most people don't they say well let me see how much I can
borrow you know that can you put it on a credit card instead of saying okay show me what the
problem is tell me why that it that I need to spend $1,500 to fix this problem. Should I get a
second opinion I mean I've seen people replace engines in cars to solve a problem that could
have been solved with a gasket. Same thing with transmissions air conditioning systems people
chase solutions to their mechanical problems and all they needed to do was go to the right place to
begin with. Of course I always say that that's the new car dealer that has the training and
experience to work on your particular brand of vehicle. Why do people defect from new car
dealers this is something else that we talk about and I mean the young people didn't even know
that that was a thing they thought that well when you buy a car at a dealership you always got to
get a service there right your warranty is only good there no your warranty is good all over the
country at any other Chevrolet dealer if you're driving a Chevrolet well they didn't know that
they don't understand warranties their responsibilities to maintain
that warranty most people learn that the hard way and since the automobile is such an important
part of everybody's life shouldn't we know more shouldn't they know more yeah but you can't just
stand up there and just lecture it you know you can't do a PowerPoint presentation I've gone to
sleep through a bunch of those hands-on understanding the importance of it telling them stories about
what can happen like the story that I told them about my 27 year old son he was killed in a car
accident and we believe that it was because he was distracted we don't know that for a fact but we
do believe it because he hit the back of a truck and the people that saw the accident said he never
hit his brake lights and of course I elaborated more about the story in him and his life than just
that but I mean you could have heard a pin drop in the showroom when I brought that up I mean he
was not much younger than well I mean he was 27 a lot of these kids were 15 16 17 but they can relate
to that many of them have lost family members in car accidents or people that at school but you
know when it happens to somebody else it just doesn't seem as poignant it's not as real as when
it happens to you and so we talk about that it's hard it is hard for me to talk about that it's
not as hard as it was 15 years ago when it happened but I think it's important that we share those
kind of things you know you probably have stories in your life almost accidents that you had where
you weren't paying attention you know sometimes we just don't want to admit it I don't understand
that your kids need to know that you are a flawed person we all are we've all made mistakes they
don't need to know everything you did in high school sometimes I think that you know if we share
that information with them they think we're endorsing it now what we need to share are the
consequences that we faced when we crossed that line so yeah we want them to be confident but we
also want them to be safe one of the chapters that we talked about was causes of accidents and how
to avoid road rage and I asked them do you guys know what road rage is have you ever seen an
example of that about half of them raised their hands where did they see it YouTube doesn't it scare
you how much your kids are learning on tiktok and YouTube and snapchat and all those other things
that have really more of a powerful influence on their thought patterns than you do and we
can't lose that battle folks we have to win that battle and maybe sometimes it involves not giving
kids cell phones until they get their driver's license or their learners permit I mean I saw a
kid the other days five years old he's got a cell phone and they were waiting in this service
drive or waiting to have their car service they were in the customer lounge and that child was
was on his phone how do I know that I asked the parent because she had her phone and I would just
be a nosy I hope I didn't sound too judgy but I was judging in my mind I was and I know you're
not supposed to but I was because I do not get it oh it's just so convenient you know and when
he's at daycare I want him to be able to call me and stuff like that okay whatever I never needed
to call my parents when I was in daycare and they weren't at home anyway they didn't have a phone we
got along just fine didn't we all you old folks out there before the cell phone came along but
it's such an important part of society now but that's where they're getting their information can
they watch a YouTube about safety automotive safety things they should do yeah but they're not going
to they're too busy watching other stuff that makes them laugh or something that's shared to them by
their friends we got to put good stuff in their head and you have to have the key to be able to do
that and what is that key well it's engagement it's interaction it's it's experiencing things instead
of just talking about them and I had to learn this the hard way I used to just get up in front of
my salespeople and just talk and tell them how to sell cars until I realized
that they weren't getting it and I took them outside and we did actual role-playing were they
able to see actual situations and how I overcame certain objections that the customer had or
answered their questions about safety and fuel economy and colors and all the all the different
questions that customers can come up with so how do you accomplish this with your teen driver well
number one they don't get to get behind the wheel of a car until they master it and that's way more
than just passing a driver's test because that's easy that's just about laws and and laws are
important I mean to understand what different signs mean and how you merge and you know what
happens when four people arrive at this at a four-way stop at the same time all of that stuff is
going to be on the driver's test they learn nothing about the car itself they don't learn what what
you what is expected of you when a state trooper pulls you over and what he's looking for and what
you have to have ready and what the consequences are of drinking and driving what can happen not
just you shouldn't do it they know that give them an example of somebody and how their life got
destroyed because of a DUI tell them real stories and you may not have to go very far to find those
stories they may be in your own neighborhood or your own family but come up with your own test
that they have to be able to pass use the my car guru teen driver experience guidebook
as a platform to test your teens make them study it but go over it first and make it come alive
that's the important thing and then maybe they'll listen okay I'm gonna take my last break and I'll
be back in just one minute are you a competitive driver in other words when you're going down a
road and somebody passes you and then cuts you off and you know just doesn't behave right on the road
driving aggressively do you feel like you have to respond to that is that a personal challenge
I mean you really don't know what the motives are of the other driver you know maybe they're in a
hurry to get to a family emergency maybe they weren't just trying to get in front of you
because they want to win that's how a lot of road rage incidents happen and it's your responsibility
to make sure that your young driver understands the oh I don't know the symptoms of road rage
and and what can trigger it with other people and and that driving down the interstate is not a
competition but a lot of people look at it that way and and I think it's important for teenagers
to understand how this gets started you know you're going down the road and somebody's tailgating you
and you can't even see their headlights they're so close to the back of your car and it's just
making you mad what's the best response to that and you ask your teenager you're in that situation
tell me what you would do let's slam on my brakes well okay so you slam on your brakes
he plows into the back of you so you've wrecked him you've wrecked your car and maybe even a couple
cars behind him they were going too fast they all slam into him and some lady ends up having a heart
attack because it was just such a shocking experience and you know you've created all these
problems and the state trooper wants to take you in because you caused the whole thing
now how do you feel about slamming on your brakes see that that makes it real
we have to make it real to them we can't just say don't ever respond to a an aggressive driver
don't slam on your brakes if somebody's following you closely just pull over that's good advice
it really is but we have to go a little bit further and demonstrate what the consequences are
and that's what you can do with the guidebook it will help you start a conversation everything
from driving in bad weather to how to handle a minor accident you know what are your responsibilities
what are you trying to accomplish as far as the person that that ran into you or you ran into
them what do you need to say to the police do you ever say well it was all my fault you know
these are things that that the guidebook will help answer and it's a really good conversation starter
and so all you have to do to get one is to send me your email address you can text it to me to
423-552-2020 or you can send it to my email lindylawson2020 at gmail.com and i will send you a pdf of
the guidebook you can print it out you can print out a thousand copies if you want to it is not
copyrighted i would never do that because this information needs to get out oh and it's also
free so if you well even if you're you've got drivers in your family that are 30 years old
kids are maturing later now at least that's what i'm told they could read this to and learn a lot
it's not just for 16 year olds i had a lot of people that sat in the parents that actually sat
in on this i said i wish you'd do this for mothers i wish you'd do this for old people
you know and i'm probably going to because the people just i don't mean this in a negative way
people are just ignorant about a lot of this stuff and about the operation of a car how they work
what their responsibilities are what you do when you get pulled over what do you do if you're in a
wreck they just don't know a lot of them it's never happened to them i mean how would we
expect them to know well this is a great way to give them a heads up when these kind of things
happen in their car life well thanks for listening to this edition of my car guru if you have any
questions you know what to do 423-552-2020 and i'll see you next time
About this episode
Keys, not lectures, kick off the real lesson: the host describes a two-day dealership exercise with 112 teenagers and the tense moment parents hand over the family vehicle. He argues young drivers need stories and hands-on practice—more than “just passing a driver’s test”—including what to expect when a state trooper pulls you over. Safety themes include distraction, delaying cell phones, and avoiding road rage by responding defensively to tailgating. He also covers repair/warranty basics and offers a free guidebook for bad weather, minor accidents, and police interactions.
Original notes
Email Lennie at [email protected]
My Car Guru Podcast
My Car Guru...Lennie Lawson
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22:47