JCW ARCHIVE: Breathalyzer Biz

The John Clay Wolf Show has appeared on Terrestrial Radio for a really, really, really long time.

So we dug into our pockets, and on the other side of our d**k, we found something funny.

And yes, it's contagious.

Gather round as the wolf pack goes on this throwback adventure.

What it do y'all, this is your boy DJ Pre-K with the John Clay Wolf Show.

I'm just chilling in the archives once again, and I gotta ask me, y'all ever had a DUI?

I know I have, and the state don't play about getting your chips.

From probation fees to breathalyzer installs, it's big biz.

So when John's friend finds out first hand, he's got a few ideas to cash in.

Problem is, he's also got a pill habit and a wife that can't keep a secret.

So I don't know if this is the best guy to be taking business ideas from.

I'll let you be the judge.

Check it out.

This guy's got his stuff together.

Yes, he does.

My friends don't.

What does that mean?

Well, like my friend is 50 and went out and bought a Corvette.

He got a DWI.

Oh no.

So he goes out and buys a Corvette.

Strike two.

And before he can get it registered, he's got to get the breathalyzer put in it.

Steer, right through here.

Right.

And now he is sober, but talking to him, it sounds like he's taking a lot of pills.

Well, yeah, that does happen, John.

Well, yeah, I'm like, how long has it been since you drank?

I haven't drunk a drink in 90 days.

Okay.

Are you on ludes?

What do you want?

Are you on ludes?

But Wolf, I'm telling you this breathalyzer thing, man.

We got to get in the breathalyzer business.

You know, since I've been sober, it's really open my eyes and have it blow into this thing

every day and this camera on me to make.

We got to get in the breathalyzer business.

We'll make a lot of money.

And also I want to talk to you about doing a liquor line for you, the radio celebrity.

Like John Clay Wolf branded liquor like whiskey.

Sure.

So he's got two great ideas.

And they're both alcohol related.

What is?

Coming from an alcoholic, John.

He ain't done.

Sorry.

Just telling you.

When he gets pulled over.

This is what women are good for, Gigi.

They're driving.

He's driving and they've been drinking and she's had plenty.

And she points out taco casa.

So he does a hard left.

Okay.

So he's pulled over because of taco casa.

And then the cop is talking to her and she said he's had a little bit to drink,

but he's had his pain pills also.

And it straightens him up where it doesn't affect the alcohol level.

That's what you want to tell a cop.

So that's the right.

So the cop's interviewing him and he can hear the interview with the wife going on

on the other side of the car.

And she's explaining how his narcotics offset the alcohol and he's a great driver.

She was trying to help.

And my friend is listening to this conversation on the other side of the car

and he just sticks his hands in the air, cuff me and take me to jail.

I'm done.

I mean, after that endorsement over there by the wife,

there's nowhere else to go but hell for now.

That's greatness.

Narcotics.

Oh my God.

The narcotics level them out where he's a very, he passed any DWI test.

They're not his narcotics, but they're close.

He borrowed it from a friend.

Dig the hole deeper.

Right.

Just hear the shovel.

What else, honey?

Now that we've got you talking.

Right.

You have anything else to say on camera?

Well, don't look in the trunk.

It's on my face.

When he was talking to his lawyer, the lawyer saw the tape of the wife and he just dropped his head.

It's like, what can we do, bud?

I mean, can we just, can we plead this out?

He's like, yeah, we can plead it out, but it's not going to be a pretty one.

All right, y'all know what to do.

Hit us up on JohnClayWolf.com.

You can check out old episodes on there.

You know, stay up to date with what we got going on.

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You know, you can holler at all of us, okay?

You know how to spell it, okay?

We appreciate y'all listening.

Keep on rocking with us.

Chevrolet Corvette

Original notes