JCW ARCHIVE: Funny Is As Funny Does

The John Clay Wolf Show has appeared on Terrestrial Radio for a really, really, really long time.

So we dug into our pockets, and on the other side of our d***, we found something funny.

And yes, it's contagious.

Gather round as the Wolf Pack goes on this throwback adventure.

What's the damn deal is your boy DJ Pre-K with the John Clay Wolf Show up in the archives

and we love bringing y'all to laughs, man, but standing in front of a crowd is different

work, man.

Woo!

John ain't scared, though.

He opened up for his homie, Adam Corolla, who's at the rattlesnake tonight if you're

listening on November 22nd, you dig.

John brought the house down, but did anybody survive alive?

Check it out.

So you want to bust my balls, Turley?

Is that what we're doing here?

A little bit.

Yeah.

Just make fun of me.

I mean, you know, that's what we do.

We critique, right?

We're locker room ball busters.

Yeah.

Sure.

So I got up in front of a crowd last night and did a stand-up, warming up for Adam Corolla

and Putty, Patrick Warburton, from Seinfeld, and it was unrehearsed and I wasn't very

good.

And I reverted to Tourette's and started cussing too much.

And now the crowd that you were in front of was what, millionaires, right?

Basically?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no.

I mean, were there millionaires?

Absolutely.

But it was a real mixed crowd.

It was a mixed bag, lots of t-shirts, lots of normal guys.

Adam Corolla fans is what it was.

I mean, there was a line an hour and a half long to get pictures with him.

Damn.

Before the show.

Maybe an hour and 45.

It was forever.

Yeah.

It was a lot of Adam Corolla fans, but they're also car fans.

It was at the car museum and his car collection, da, da, da.

And I asked him, I was like, what's this crowd?

You know, I was trying to figure it out.

It used to be a rock and roll, hard beer drinking crowd like we had last night in Vegas.

Because I was with them the night before in Vegas at Kimmel's Comedy Club.

But anyway, you take it from here.

You can bust my balls.

All right.

So this is your first minute and we enhanced it and we can pause at any time if you want

to make any comments or us do that.

We have questions.

Y'all just, y'all roast me.

That's fine.

All right.

Here's the stand up.

Is this when I got up first to introduce Putty?

Yes.

So you're up there.

You walk up on stage.

Did they introduce you even?

Yes.

Okay.

So at least you got some type of warm up for yourself.

Because I was wondering, it's like, you just kind of walk up and like, who the hell

is this guy?

It's about 500 people.

Yeah.

They did give me a little intro and I was really just supposed to be the emcee.

But I was like, you know what?

I'm just going to go ahead and do this.

Let's warm up.

Now wait, hold on.

What could possibly go wrong?

No, wait.

Hold on.

Now did you talk yourself into this?

Yes.

Ah, there we go.

So it started out with, hey, we just need somebody to introduce you.

You're like, you know, I can do stand up.

Is that what you said?

No, no, no.

It started out as, hey, you're the emcee.

Cool.

Great.

Do you want to do that?

Yes.

Then like 20 minutes before the show, I'm like calling Mike August.

Adam's manager.

I'm like, what am I supposed to do?

What do you want me to do?

He's like, you know, just get up there and make him laugh.

You're a radio guy.

You're a car guy.

This is your crowd.

So that was my, okay.

So I guess I'm not just an emcee.

I'm supposed to do a little shtick.

So I'm a warm up man.

Okay.

And that's what I tried to do.

Here's the opening.

They asked me to do this and I've been prepped so I hope I do okay.

Some of you guys may know, we're from North America.

They're going to send a kid right here on Saturday morning.

It's a car show.

They're going to play a little show, right?

Talk to other people to make them angry about the value of their car.

Now, they started laughing right away.

That's a good group.

Yes.

They're with you.

Right.

At that moment, my confidence went up a lot.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

It almost sounds like it's dubbed in and it's so right on top.

Yeah, it's like.

Because that was not a funny line.

Why did they laugh?

That's a team that's on with you, man.

Okay.

Then the audience is with you.

Then I lost them a little bit later.

We go ahead.

You know, it's really fun.

That means the comedy.

All right.

So that's a lot of bleeps.

I heard nothing that I just said.

I have no idea what I just said, but I just heard that there was a lot of cursing.

You went from first gear to sixth gear.

Really quick.

Really quick there.

I mean, you must have, like you said, you felt the crowd laughing.

You're like, boom, I'm going.

But they're still coming.

Yeah.

I'm going all the way.

And now I have no idea what I just said in that clip.

I heard all the cuss words, but the audience is still laughing.

So I'm like, we're good.

It's like you said, you're having Tourette's.

It's like, you know, you're talking about COVID and how people just went really

crazy.

Crazy.

And you're like, F you and then I mean, it was like, beep, beep, beep.

And I guess they realized, oh, this is a show here.

Oh dear, honey.

This guy thinks he's funny.

And they saw a main problem.

That's you.

So it takes a little time.

Especially this preview.

I mean, Hitler's Mercedes is cool.

What?

What did I say?

Hitler's Mercedes was cool.

And I said, was cool or wasn't cool?

Was cool.

Okay.

I thought I said wasn't cool.

But go ahead.

Wait.

Okay.

I'll answer your questions.

I'm here for you.

What made you to think that Hitler in a comedy standup would be a great way to go here?

Well, I was talking about old cars, pre-war cars and the values that are coming down

on them.

And when I, and I looked at some old cars that I was bidding Monday and he had a

Hitler parade car.

The Mercedes.

Real.

Like legit.

He drove eight off Hitler in the parade.

He had all the history.

Okay.

So I'm like, that's a good looking car.

But I mean, it's a Hitler car.

Anyway, my point was, I was wanting to set up the values of these old cars coming down.

And the reason that they're coming down is because the joke is that nobody that's

still alive ever had sex in them.

Okay.

So you start here.

So that 20 minutes while I was riding my little stick, I also was like, okay, what's

another car that's a weirdo's car?

Ted Bundy's car.

The guy that killed everybody in Colorado.

All the girls.

I'm like, I'd rather buy Ted Bundy's bug.

At least somebody got laid in it.

We didn't quite deliver it that way.

Here it is.

I don't know what to buy.

Ted Bundy's bug.

I could have gotten that delivered if we're saying it's totally cheaper.

So you're saying Ted Bundy's car, you could have had it cheaper.

You didn't deliver it saying you'd rather.

I know.

I've got to get better at this.

This is my first time out.

But they're still kind of with you.

That's the cool part of the audience.

They're still going, did he say Hitler?

And then now this is where you get into the, I'm going to call this the FU pay me

stand up portion of his.

Remember, good fellas, when Nikki Santora, Joe Pesci, is giving you a background

of what's going on in Vegas.

Yeah, FU pay me.

And that's what was rolling in my head.

And I was talking about these auctions.

People go to these auctions like Barrett and Meekam and this and that.

And they buy these cars that are broken or bad or something's wrong.

And the auction's response is FU pay me.

I know it didn't get delivered like that, but go ahead.

How many guys that you're bought a car and an auction?

Meekam auction, Barrett auction.

Raise your hands, please.

Cut off the job for me.

You're better thinking.

Just have you on the car now to raise your hand and raise your hand.

And right there, no one's raising their hand.

You're forcing people to raise their hand.

You raise your hand.

But again, my job was what?

A fluffer to warm them up.

So I knew there are people in this audience because it's a car show event.

They bought cars or these things.

So I need to push them to get them engaged in the audience, get their hands up

so that when Adam got on, they'd be warm.

That's my job, right?

No one wanted to raise their hand.

You're calling out names.

No, Gary, I know you've done it before.

Well, I was looking at the lady next to him.

His wife was pointing at this guy like he's done it.

He's in a nice suit.

He's one of the millionaire guys.

I'm like, you, you did it.

Go ahead.

What's so funny about these deals is when I buy cars from people,

I just buy, you know, me go.

And then you go to Barrett and me go and you walk in there,

I think about a hundred grand.

Hey, uh, the Irish hunbunk thorn.

The Irish boy hung up.

And I said, don't know what I'm talking about.

Don't know what I'm talking about.

But the guy said, you know, the Irish hunbunk.

Hey, between the two of them are,

something kind of shits on you.

How the f**k do you pay me?

This is how the options are.

You know, I give a hundred braids for this.

It says like 10% Irish premium.

Let's turn that all in.

Yeah, f**k you, baby.

And it is, she's just hilarious.

And so what I'm dealing with is the guy got done.

He gave a hundred grand for the car.

Then he gave a hundred and ten for the car.

Next to another 20 in the street.

Now, because f**k you, pay me.

They didn't know what the pop was.

But then he calls me.

He's got a hundred and thirty thousand in his car.

I was like, what's that for?

Tell us in the mic.

They could pay me.

That's my kind of friendly.

Evolution.

So you kind of lost them there where,

I think that's when I clipped out and introduced Patrick.

Yeah.

Well, you did the one more little one minute stand up here.

And you probably could have done it right there.

But I think you felt like, you know what?

I got to get them back.

And you kind of did here.

This is where you started relating having a classic car

and your memories and those classic cars.

I'd like to guide a hundred cars last money.

Let's be upset a little.

Pre-war this and pre-war that.

The problem with pre-war cars per se.

No link of liner.

It could not be laid in here.

And this one makes a living.

And so you said there, and it's kind of jumbled there.

Skipping a little bit, yeah.

Yeah.

You said that no one got laid in those pre-war cars.

Right.

Which is a funny line.

No, no, no.

They got laid.

Nobody's alive.

They're laid in them.

So they're not willing to pay up for the memory.

I told them I got to stay by the blades the other day.

No, I've dried out my wife around in a high school car.

I should go to the back seat.

Shit, I got to go to the back seat.

I'm like, eh, eh, eh, eh.

There's a lot of stuff about that.

And this is where I got to go.

I'm going to grab a lot of memories.

Memories.

That's what makes us worth a mess of menses on Berkwidge.

Now you talked about...

I probably shouldn't have said that.

Yeah.

You talked about how you got laid in the back of a K5 Blazer.

K5 Blazer right but you didn't just say laid you dropped the p-word in there I

know I shouldn't have said that that was not classy how did the how does the

reaction was kind of quiet in there there's a couple of giggles it was a

little heavy did you look at your wife and her reaction I did not because you

could tell on the camp because she was running in the camera you kind of hear

a sigh in the background like oh here he goes here he goes here he goes

and here's the last yeah she gave me some good coaching after this on the way

to the airport now we got we got to wrap up actually because we're right up

against the break but yeah that that's pretty much the the gist of it I thought

you you know what I'm gonna give you a see yeah I need to slow down and not

speak so fast correct listen back I'm going way too fast oh yeah all right

y'all know what to do hit us up on John clay wolf dot com you can check out

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on rocking with us

Chevrolet K5 Blazer

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