LIVE
The John Clay Wolf Show has appeared on Terrestrial Radio for a really, really, really long time.
So we dug into our pockets, and on the other side of our d***, we found something funny.
And yes, it's contagious.
Gather round as the Wolf Pack goes on this throwback adventure.
What's the damn deal, it's your boy DJ Pre-K with the John Clay Wolf Show.
I hope y'all had a happy holiday.
I figured I'd play Santa Claus and drop off one more Christmas throwback for y'all.
Alright, when John got snowed in however many miles from his handy dandy broadcast briefcase,
he called in a favor to heavyweight comedian Jerry Wayne Longmire.
But of course, we missed John three minutes into the show, so we had to call him.
Check it out.
Hello.
It's Saturday morning.
Must be time for the John Clay Wolf Show.
Hi, y'all.
Good morning, Bob.
Druckle Bobbo here in the big chair.
Here's my friend JD Ryan right there on my left.
Good morning, Mr. Christmas.
Howdy, howdy.
The Colonel, Michael Turley, keeping us straight and honest on the soundboard.
Here's John, you changed.
I put on a little weight.
Here's the midsection.
That's alright.
Our own Jerry Wayne Longmire.
You look better than you were in the years.
Nice to see you, Pard.
Where you been?
You too, brother.
Just all over the place, man.
On the road and in the studio, working, working, working.
You are.
I follow you online somewhat, and I still don't think I'm seeing everything.
You are out there like Jelly Roll was a year ago.
I am grinding.
I'm trying to get that bag.
I spent 20 years in comedy.
I finally made money last year.
Yeah!
Alright.
Jerry Wayne's going to be with us for a little while here this morning.
We're all gathered up.
Jerry Wayne Longmire.
You've been doing gigs.
You were playing just nearby last night.
Hold on.
We're not all here, Bobo.
We're missing one person.
Pretty important person.
No.
Don't show the rabbit.
Don't show the rabbit.
I'm showing the rabbit.
Where's John?
Pull back the curtain.
Do we want to go into it around here?
Do we want to call him up?
I think we should call him.
I think we should.
I didn't even ask.
I got here late.
Do we want to know where he is?
Is it a good story, a bad story?
I'm sure there's a story there.
There's always a story with him.
Always.
He wasn't where I woke up.
Right.
That is a good thing.
Wait, do you have John on the phone right now?
I can dial him up real quick.
Let's call him up.
Let's see if he wakes up real quick.
He's supposed to...
Okay, so pull the curtain back.
He was supposed to be live from College Station or Beaver Stadium in Pennsylvania.
Beaver Stadium.
Beaver Stadium.
That's what it is.
It's called Beaver Stadium for Penn State SMU game.
And where's he at now?
I got a call at three in the afternoon.
He said, Bob, I got a problem.
I said, what's wrong?
Where are you at?
What's going on?
Where are you at?
Well, I'm staying up here in Pennsylvania and my remote kid's on the plane.
I said, well, you can get it.
Well, no, I can't.
We're having kind of a blizzard right now.
Oh, my gosh.
His remote kid's in New Jersey, I think, and he is in Pennsylvania.
I'm ready to bring him up.
I think we're on the phone.
I mean, guys, this isn't going to go very good.
If y'all get three minutes in and you're all you're grabbing for my ass, you're surprised.
Bob, are you going to have to back down, let Jerry run a little bit?
I mean, it's just, come on.
I mean, I'm just, I'm trying to sleep in.
Y'all been on the air for three minutes, three minutes.
And you're calling my ass and you're waiting like 60 seconds of dead air.
Well, is he on the phone?
No, he's not on the phone.
He's trying to sleep.
See, we did this on purpose, Joe, because we want to find out what the hell's going on.
Where are you?
I'm in Pennsylvania.
That's the music and the playoff.
I stay up late and drink with my old teammate.
Is that okay, honey?
Is that allowed?
But why aren't you?
Christ, you're going to call me, wake my ass, three minutes.
Where's your, where's your radio kid at, John?
It's in New York City.
That's my business.
It's not your home.
Oh, what happens when you put your name on the show?
I've got a guy there that can sit there in front of an audience for an hour and a half
with no co-hosts, no sidebars, no music, no callers and keep people entertained.
You've got a good replacement this morning for me.
He's probably a better replacement for me than me, actually.
Oh, we've got, we've got plenty of content, but we wanted to wake your ass up.
I'm awake.
Y'all have fun.
All right, bye.
Be careful out there in deer hunter country.
So what did, what did John?
How did he approach you about this?
I was playing Waco last night at the hippodrome and I got there earlier.
We're doing soundcheck rehearsal and we had planned on coming up here.
See you guys and visit me all a little bit and pimped.
I got a show coming up here in Walnut Springs and a phone rang and it was,
it was John Clay Wolf and it wasn't one of his people.
And I was like, Oh hell, it must be something big.
You know, he actually picked up the phone and I answered the phone.
He said, Hey man, I got some bad news, but maybe some good news.
I'm stuck in Pennsylvania.
There's been a snowstorm, something, his radio kit, six hours away or 12 hours
away or some sort of thing.
He said, man, just, just go in there and fill in for me in the morning.
You know enough about the cars get by.
You know how to do comedy and stuff.
You'll be just fine.
I said, okay, man, that sounds like a cool opportunity.
I'm down for that.
He goes, you know, rush Limbaugh had people sub for him all the time
and then I got quiet because I was like, brother, I love you,
but are we about to have a conversation about you comparing yourself
to rush Limbaugh?
Yeah, we're used to that.
Luckily, he moved on in the conversation pretty quick.
You know, well, speaking of rush, we do have rush live from heaven.
Everything on red.
Everything on it.
I get back to John.
It's not John.
John's not here, right?
Almost had another heart attack.
You look like a mix between Jesus and Jerry Garcia.
You must be the comedian.
Yes, sir.
I'm just a fill in for John.
I'm a sub.
Just don't compare me to Glenn Beck.
I was going to say that.
You may have like a kind of a resting sad face.
I'd rather have Sean Hannity.
He looks like he could whip on somebody.
Look, Hannity owes me $80.
And it's hard to get from where I am here in heaven.
Wonderful life.
We're playing roulette.
Oh, yeah.
That's why you were talking about all on red.
They got gambling in heaven, really.
Guess who's got a roulette wheel?
First one we've seen down here.
Who?
CEO of United Health Care.
Showed up.
Wow.
It's absolutely true.
A roulette wheel.
And all we have is silver dollar coins.
I'm up $40.
Good for you.
You never seem to lose with this guy.
Except for Manson.
Manson has lost his ass multiple times.
All the best people.
It's a day pass.
Absolutely.
You're filling in for John.
Filling in for John, trying to sit in his seat.
I'm a little shorter than him.
I feel like a little kid over here.
Well, that's fitting.
Would you believe John?
He's an old friend of mine.
And I always thought he was kind of a...
I tried to mentor him.
And I think he sounds almost as good as I do.
Minus the help of the golden microphone.
And the excellence in broadcasting network.
Right.
Talent on loan from God.
You all have fun.
Just put it all on red.
I'm glad you found the United Health Care guy.
Because I know you needed a plug.
Money everywhere.
Money everywhere.
Last night, he ran a blackjack table.
All out of his own pocket.
Money, money, money, money.
I love this guy.
It's going to be a great weekend.
Happy Christmas everybody.
We'll see you down the road.
Thank you very much. We figured out where John is.
Alright, y'all know what to do.
Hit us up on JohnClayWolf.com.
You can check out old episodes on there.
Stay up to date with what we got going on.
Get cool gear.
We got hats, shirts, all that.
Hit us up on Facebook.
Search JohnClayWolfShow.
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John's on Twitter.
You can holler at all of us.
You know how to spell it.
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