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The John Clay Wolf Show has appeared on Terrestrial Radio for a really, really, really long time.
So we dug into our pockets, and on the other side of our d**k, we found something funny.
And yes, it's contagious.
Gather round as the Wolf Pack goes on this throwback adventure.
What it do is, you boy, DJ Pre-K with the John Clay Wolf Show, spreading some holiday
cheer from the archives, and this one is for all the grumpy grandparents and babies, mamas,
mamas you get to see around the holidays.
You know, everybody got that one in the family that just don't know how to act, but hey, you
gotta love them.
And John and the crew all have their accounts, and the callers even get in on the action,
so check this out.
Gigi, we were talking about this a week or two ago, but do you have any holiday
moments, recall, or are there people in your family extended or immediate that you'd prefer
not to have at a holiday dinner?
That would be, it's gonna sound mean, but even though he's dead, it would have to be my
dad at New Year's Eve, or New Year's Day.
Are you kidding me?
What's he doing there?
It starts off as a good time, and then, you know, people's feelings get hurt, people
get mad, sometimes they go to fisticuffs, and we're wondering why it happened.
This is not a good way to start the year, so yep, that would have to be it.
Gigi, you're grabbing a little scotch there.
I need some.
I need a lot of scotch.
I got my holiday nog.
What would he do to, what was his topic that would set everybody off?
Anything.
That was just him, you know, you're like, ooh, dad, I learned how to dive in the
swimming pool today, and he's like, is there any water left in it?
And, you know what I mean, like, are you, yeah.
Tell me another one.
Yeah, that's what he said, you're like, ooh, I'm going to get an outfit, right?
From where?
Omar, the tent maker.
Like, it's just the way he was, you know what I mean, and he just...
Negative Nancy.
Most definitely.
Was he married to your mother?
At this time?
Oh, that's, yeah, he was, he was married to my mom.
They were married together on paper for 48 years, but I think that they just
stayed together because they didn't know what else to do, like, they were pure
comedy without meaning to be.
When he...
Like when mom got upset, she was like, oh my gosh, did the people see me cry?
And I'm like, mom, you're at his memorial, it's okay.
Oh, Lord, they saw me cry.
So like, yeah, they had to do moments.
So when he would make these derogatory comments about body shaming, would she
correct him or just let him go?
You could never correct him because he was never wrong.
They went to family counseling, right?
The marriage family counselor told him, Mr. Toliver, just shut up.
Wow.
Then he told my mom, you need to divorce this man.
Really?
And then of course my mom, you're not going to tell me what to do, so...
She stayed with him.
It does sound like Fred Sanford in, what's her name?
Odd Esther.
Was it, Fred and Esther, back and forth?
They're back and forth.
Have you heard her Lawanda Page?
Have you heard her comedy album?
No.
Mm-hmm, you need to listen to it.
That's Ann Esther?
Yeah, because she always played the Christian lady with the raggedy wig and the pocket
book and the Bible and everything.
She is, oh my gosh, she'll make you blush.
J.D., did you have some statistics of holiday?
Sure.
People that, yeah, people that are, you know, holidays are getting here.
They're close.
And there may be people that you don't want, 52% of us have people in our family.
We'd rather not see the holidays and most of those issues are around unresolved family
issues.
Yes, Gigi?
Mm-hmm.
Personality clashes.
Yes, Gigi?
Mm-hmm.
Beliefs or values.
Yes, Bobbo?
Mm-hmm.
Politics.
Of course, and alcohol.
Alcohol.
What about alcohol?
Those are the five big ones.
Well, because people get drunk and they say stupid stuff, they tell you how they
really feel about you.
Mm-hmm.
Are you ready for that?
No, you're not.
No, we haven't invited any extended family to...
Nobody?
No, but my mom's side is real calm.
They're calm.
Yeah.
My dad's side is not as calm, but they're fine.
A lot of them are dead.
You know, I mean, there's just not that many left that are immediate.
Got you.
Aunt's uncles, I mean, a lot of them are gone.
This is a very high, anxious time of the year.
I'm sure, Gigi, you know that, that people are coming and going home so tense because
there's money issues, there's family issues, so anyway.
What about you, Jay?
Who do you...
Believe it or not...
You're pretty happy to go lucky, guys.
A lot of our family gets along so well.
I mean, we feel like we live in a lot of land because everybody gets along.
We never have arguments.
Turley's crowning.
Oh, well, when my mom was alive, she was the one that wasn't really...
What would she do?
Because she had an opinion about everything, and my aunts and uncles didn't want to
hear their opinion.
Or if somebody was like, you know, a little kid took a little sip of wine.
Why is your kid drinking wine?
I mean, she was just always in everybody's business, and yeah, it was uncomfortable as a kid.
Did anyone ever go off on her?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But my mom would, she was the one who would start it.
She thrived off that, yeah, so.
It's been quiet.
It's real quiet now, so.
They must thrive off of it.
To do it in the family atmosphere, you know people are going to call you out.
Oh, yeah.
Well, she didn't care.
She really didn't, yeah.
I remember a couple of years ago that y'all got into some political BS, and it got all sideways,
and you had to pack up and go, and wouldn't it?
Oh, craziness, yeah.
It's been a few years ago.
But now it's been...
But the following years were fine.
I'm trying to give people hope.
I'm trying to get them to where they don't hit me so hard with that religious thing.
It's like they forget that I went through the whole thing with them, like I know all about it.
I'm just not a devout guy.
That's all.
I don't have anything against it.
What's an example of correcting that they're doing to you?
It's just that old-timey language, you know.
Like what?
My sweet savior, Lord Jesus.
I'll just pour it on really, really thick, man.
And I don't have a problem with it.
But they act like I'd...
Anyway, and there's been no problem in a long time.
So we shouldn't start one with this section of the show right now?
And I don't criticize, you know.
But yeah, it becomes a packed mentality at a certain point.
Pack mentality?
Yeah.
Oh, they start nipping at you?
Yeah, then it's time to go.
And they're trying to turn you back to the church heavily?
I don't know.
It's just never been my thing.
I had a grandfather that was the same way.
He's just not devout.
He was not devout?
He was not devout.
And I don't doubt anything.
And I don't disbelieve anything anybody's got to believe.
It's free country.
Do what you want.
Gigi, how much is religion in your group?
The old group is not...
I can guess that now it's not heavy, but back when you were younger.
It was, it was.
It was Catholics versus the Protestants versus the Muslims.
Who was the Muslim?
Who was the Muslim?
Well, my mom had the last name E.L. added to hers,
because she thought it sounded cool,
but that was technically Muslim.
And then her brother that nobody listened to
when he would call, right?
He would literally be talking and she'd put the phone down
and go do other things, pick it up and put it back down.
And he used to do that to my mom.
So he said he was Muslim
and then he would get into arguments with my dad
who was a Mason because he said
masons are secretive and Muslims share knowledge.
And yeah, so it was a good time.
Do you have any alcoholics?
Or maybe alcoholics is a strong word,
but poor drinkers that would, you know,
if they catch you after eight o'clock,
then they just go on and on and on
and you put the phone down and walk off.
My mom said my uncle was like that.
And that's why she would put the phone.
Listen, because he was able to verify
the Native American heritage
and his kids went to college for free.
My mom,
I would, after five o'clock,
central time, she was on the east coast
in the Greenwich Connecticut.
Yeah, I probably, I got to where I just
wasn't answering after five.
Because at junk high, you can just hear me
doing junk high.
Hello, junk high.
Pull over, we got an hour.
Look, yeah, I got to tell you something.
Junk high.
That's right.
Have you been?
I love you so much.
She's been gone a while.
And my mom died young, 58.
I didn't realize how young 58 was
until now that I'm 50.
Yeah.
She went pretty young.
How old was your dad when he died, G?
He was 80 and a half.
My mom was 83.
But you know, when you're young,
you think that's old.
So I was like, God, please,
you can take her when she's 83
and then we'll be cool, right?
And then it seemed like she was 82 all of a sudden.
Like, where did that time fly?
So yeah, I miss her too.
Hang on a second.
This guy has an answer to how he does it.
Josh in California.
What do you do during the holidays?
Yeah, you usually like shut those people down
for like a good three weeks from like the 20th
to like the third or something.
I don't know.
Dude, that's like super neighborhood in your life, bro.
I mean, you can't be dealing with that stuff
on the regular.
And then all of a sudden dealing with it
extremely hardcore for three weeks straight
because no one can handle the stress of everyday life
during the holidays.
It's ridiculous.
It's a man-made tradition that everybody's
incarnating in their lives.
It's like adding more stress to their own world.
Josh has just turned your phone off
for two weeks during the holidays.
He's right, though, man.
Man, I remember being up.
So I was up in Connecticut Thanksgiving
and they got so drunk.
We got weird and I remember saying
I'm never ever ever doing this again.
I'm not coming back.
Got weird in one way?
Drunk.
Oh, just hard drunk.
And so all these problems that we're talking about
would really swell up high.
Oh, yeah.
I was like, I can't do this anymore.
I should have kept doing it
because I didn't realize they were going to die.
Oh, boy.
All right.
Thank you.
I'm glad I got you in the spirit.
All right.
Y'all know what to do.
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