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Term
active safety features
Some cars today have technology that helps keep you safe by steering or braking for you if something is wrong. They also beep or warn you if you need to pay attention.
Car
Land Rover Range Rover
The Range Rover is a fancy, big car that can drive on rough roads but also feels very comfortable inside. People like it because it looks nice and can go almost anywhere. If someone just got a new one, they might feel proud or a bit guilty about having such an expensive car.
Car
Toyota Camry
The Camry is a very common and reliable car that many people use for daily driving. It’s comfortable and doesn’t usually have many problems, so it’s a safe choice for most drivers.
Car
Byd Seal
The BYD Seal is a new electric car made in China that tries to be modern and good for the environment. Someone was complaining about it for some reason.
Term
V12
A V12 is a type of engine with 12 cylinders arranged in a V shape. It helps the car go very fast and run smoothly.
Term
firing order
Firing order is the order in which the engine's cylinders fire to make the car go. It helps the engine run smoothly.
Term
EVs
EVs are cars that run on electricity instead of gasoline or diesel. They use big batteries to power electric motors, which makes them cleaner and quieter than regular cars.
Car
Renault 5
The Renault 5 is a small car made by Renault, a French car company. It was popular because it was easy to drive and park, and many people liked how it looked.
Car
Renault 4
The Renault 4 is a small and simple car made by Renault. It was popular because it could be used for many things and was easy to fix.
Term
electric car
An electric car runs on electricity stored in batteries instead of using gasoline or diesel. This means it doesn't produce smoke or pollution when you drive it.
Company
Cosworth
Cosworth is a company that makes very powerful and special car engines, often used in racing and fast cars.
Term
V16 engine
A V16 engine is a very big and powerful car engine with 16 cylinders that help the car go super fast.
Car
Cadillac V16
The Cadillac V16 was a very fancy and powerful car made a long time ago with a huge engine. It was one of the best cars of its time.
Car
Chevrolet Monte Carlo
The Monte Carlo is an old American car that was powerful and looked nice. It was popular for racing and cruising.
Term
V6
A V6 is a type of car engine with six cylinders shaped like a V. It helps the car have good power and use fuel well.
Term
convertible
A convertible is a car where you can fold down or take off the roof so you can drive with the open sky above you.
Term
V8
A V8 engine has eight cylinders shaped like a V. This design helps the car have more power and a cool engine noise.
Car
Audi RS4
The Audi RS4 is a fast and sporty version of the Audi A4 car. It has a strong 4.2-liter V8 engine that makes it quick and fun to drive.
Brand
Volkswagen Group
Volkswagen Group is a big company that owns many car brands like Volkswagen, Audi, Porsche, and Bentley. They share parts and engines between these brands.
Concept
inheriting cars
Inheriting cars means getting cars from family or someone who passed away. These cars can be old and expensive to take care of.
Car
Audi A2
The A2 is a small car that’s very light and uses less fuel. It’s clever but can be expensive to fix when something goes wrong.
Car
Toyota Hilux
The Hilux is a very strong and tough truck that can handle hard work and rough places. People trust it because it lasts a long time.
Car
Ford Mustang
The Mustang is a fast and sporty car from America that lots of people know and love. It looks cool and is fun to drive, often seen as a symbol of speed and style.
Car
Volvo P1800
The P1800 is an old, good-looking sports car from Sweden that was strong and lasted a long time. It’s famous from a TV show.
Car
Jaguar Etype
The E-Type is an old, very pretty sports car from Britain that many people think looks amazing. It was fast and special when it was made.
Car
Ford Cortina
The Cortina was a common car in Britain many years ago, easy to own and use. The 1600E was a nicer version with some extra features.
Term
tank slapper
A tank slapper is when the back of a car swings side to side very quickly, making it hard to control and sometimes causing crashes.
Car
Volkswagen Scirocco
The Scirocco is a small sporty car that looks cool and is fun to drive. The first version was especially liked for being quick.
Car
Volkswagen Gtis
The Golf is a small, popular car that many people like because it’s easy to drive and useful. Some people confuse it with other sporty cars that look similar.
Car
Honda Crx
The CRX is a small, sporty car that’s easy to drive and fun. It was popular a long time ago and still liked by many people.
Car
Bentley Bentayga
The Bentayga is a very fancy and expensive SUV that is both comfortable and strong. People sometimes change their minds after trying it and like it more.
Car
Revuelto Lamborghini Revuelta
The Revuelto is a new and very fast Lamborghini car that many people want but don’t have. It’s special and exciting.
Car
Ford Gt
The Ford GT is a very fast and special car made by Ford that looks like a race car and has the engine in the middle of the car.
Term
mid-engine supercar
A mid-engine supercar is a very fast car where the engine is placed in the middle of the car, helping it drive better and faster.
Car
Lexus LFA
The LFA is a very special and fast car made by Lexus, with only a few ever made. It’s like a dream car for many people.
Car
Mercedes-Benz CLK
The CLK is a nice and comfortable Mercedes car that looks good and drives well. It’s different from smaller sporty cars like the Golf.
Car
Lexus LFA
The Toyota LFA is a very fast and special car made by Toyota. It has a loud and exciting engine noise that many people love.
Concept
restomod
A restomod is an old car that has been fixed up and updated with new parts to make it work better and be safer, but it still looks like the old car.
Car
Toyota MR2
The MR2 is a small sporty car that’s good at turning corners and fun to drive. The second version of it is especially liked for this.
Car
Volkswagen Touareg
The Touareg is a big, fancy SUV from Volkswagen that can drive on rough roads and is comfortable inside. Some people don’t think Volkswagen will keep making it forever.
Concept
Formula One
Formula One is a type of car racing with very fast cars that race on special tracks all over the world. It's the top level of car racing and lots of people watch it.
Car
Ford Ranger
The Ranger is a smaller truck that can carry things and drive on rough roads but is also comfortable for regular driving. People sometimes don’t expect it to be as nice as it is.
Car
Audi RS5
The RS5 is a fast and sporty Audi car that now uses both gas and electric power to go quickly and save fuel. It’s a new and exciting model.
Term
plug-in hybrid
A plug-in hybrid car uses both gas and electricity. You can charge it by plugging it in, so it can drive some distance using only electricity.
Car
Nissan Gtr
The GT-R is a very fast and smart sports car from Nissan that can drive well on all kinds of roads. Some special versions are even lighter and quicker.
Car
5 Renault 5
The 5 E-Tech is a new electric car that looks like an old Renault 5 but uses electricity instead of gas. It’s meant to last a long time and be easy to own.
Car
Porsche 911
The 911 is a famous sports car that looks different because its engine is in the back. Some people love it a lot, while others don’t like it as much.
Brand
Alfa Romeo
Alfa Romeo is a car company from Italy that makes sporty and stylish cars. People like them because they look cool and drive well.
Car
Ford Raptor
The F-150 is a big and strong truck that many people in America use for work and fun. The Raptor is a faster, sportier version of it.
Car
Toyota Prius
The Prius is a car that uses both gas and electricity to save fuel and help the environment. Lots of people drive them, so if you don’t have one, you might feel left out.
Car
Opel Astra
The Astra is a normal, simple car that many people drive because it’s easy and not too expensive. It’s not fancy like some sports cars or big SUVs.
Car
Lamborghini Eurus
The Urus is a very fast and expensive SUV made by Lamborghini. It looks cool and is powerful like their sports cars but bigger inside.
Car
Fiat Uno
The Uno is a small and cheap car that many people used to drive because it didn’t cost much. The story talks about buying one but ending up with a different car.
LIVE
Howdy, howdy, ho, and welcome to Fantasy Fanfellas. I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things Sanderson.
And I'm Steven, your bookish internet goofball, but you can call me the Smash Daddy.
And we are currently deep-diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic, Mistborn. But here's the catch. Steven here has not read Mistborn before.
That's right, hey, hey. So each week, you'll get my unfiltered, raw reactions to every single chapter.
And along the way, we'll do character deep-dives, magic explainers, and Steven will even try to guess what's next. Spoiler alert, he'll be wrong.
Newsflash, I'm never wrong. Episodes come out every Wednesday, and you can find Fantasy Fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts.
Not every sale happens at the register. Before AT&T Business Wireless, checking out customers on our mobile POS systems took too long.
Basically, a staring contest where everyone loses. It's crazy what people will say during an awkward silence.
Now, transactions are done.
And before the silence takes hold, that means I can focus on the task at hand and make an extra sale or two. Sometimes I do miss the bonding time. Sometimes.
AT&T Business Wireless. Connecting changes everything.
Hello, welcome to the Autocad podcast.
My Week in Cars with Pryor. Properly there. Hello, Steven.
Hello, mate. How are you doing?
Very well, thank you, mate. Very well. I have two things to tell you, listener.
One is that this podcast is brought to you in association with our sponsor, Anderson, the design-led premium EV charging company.
If you go to anderson-ev.com, you can see their full range of home chargers.
Second thing, Steve, is we have a guest today, don't we?
We do indeed. Mr. Jeremy Clarkson, the well-known, well, what is he? Columnist, publican, farmer.
Reviewer of cars in the Sunday Times and all kinds of things.
And all kinds of things. So the next voice you hear will be Steve and I introducing Jeremy Clarkson. Please enjoy the pod.
Well, I'm delighted to say that Steve and I are joined by Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy, welcome to the pod.
Thank you very much for having me.
Where do we begin? Presenter, stop me if I get anything wrong. Presenter, farmer, publican, brewer, columnist, still finds time to be motor and journalist with the Sunday Times.
Often it's not.
Yeah. Grandfather.
Grandfather.
Grandfather.
Twice.
Wow.
Yeah.
I was, the number one question for me is, given all that stuff that he's just talked about, Matt's just talked about, to what extent are you still a car enthusiast?
That's, it's a good question. With a certain type of car, very enthusiastic.
But I really struggle to be enthused or excited.
Excited by anything on the market today, really. Anything. Anything that bombs and bongs and beeps at me, or takes control of the steering or the braking. I'm just not interested in that. I had a car the other day that told me to sit up straight.
Really?
I think it was a Toyota. What? I've had the, don't be drowsy, but sit up straight. I thought, what's next? Come clean your teeth.
Honestly.
It was, and so I'm infuriated by that. And I find quite a lot of the cars very similar. And when I was much younger, I used to be able to drive down the motorway at night. And even when the taillights were 200 yards in front of me, I knew what car it was. And as often as not, whether it was an L or a GL or a GLS. Whereas now, even in broad daylight, when I'm six feet away from a car, I wouldn't be able to tell you what it was. So I'm enthusiastic about cars that I remember.
That you recognize.
Yeah.
Perhaps not so enthusiastic.
But anything that you can buy new to do.
You can teach yourself just about to get rid of the bongs, can't you?
It just takes time. And I, you know, when I get into the car, if I'm going over to the brewery or to the pub, not a pub, the, my, you know, work stuff or going around the farm, I really don't have the time. Every single time I get into the car to faff about on the touchscreen, turning everything off.
Yeah.
All the inclination. That's why my Range Rover.
It's 18 years old. It doesn't bong at me.
Yeah, I was going to ask you about this thing.
Don't even have to wear a seatbelt in there.
Yeah, yeah.
Which, when you're on the farm, is an absolute blessing.
Yes. There's a celebrated piece of video, isn't there, where you and Harry Metcalf do a bit of a love-in with L322s, don't you?
Well, it's interesting that we're both in very much the same line of work. You know, we both write about cars, talk about cars, and we both have a farm each.
And yeah.
And both of us drive the same coloured, the Tonga Green L322. And both of us agree it has got, I think it was Harry that came up with the line, it has got the DNA of a transit van, that car.
Yeah.
I mean, Lisa's Range Rover, which is new, pretty much new, you'd feel guilty if you put a sheep, a dead sheep in it. Whereas with mine, it's most of the time it's got a dead sheep in it or an old calf.
Yeah.
You know, and it doesn't feel bad.
Made for it.
I mean, I could take it to London and park it outside the Royal Opera House. Not that I would go to the Royal Opera House, but you know what I mean.
Yep, I do.
You could go out for a smart dinner in London and it would be absolutely fine. And then you bring it here and the next day, and there are very few cars you can do that with. Very few.
How far away is he, Harry?
He's Burford way, so he's very close to the pub, actually.
Okay.
It's his local.
Oh, okay.
So it's about 10 miles away.
Is it anybody's local, that place? It seems to be so stacked with folks that you can't get in, can you?
You can go there for a drink, of course. You know, there's no bookings for a drink. Or you can go to the tent in the garden and have a pint and a burger or kebab or whatever.
I go past it a lot, and I'm always staggered by the clientele. So many people.
There's a lot. Yeah, no, I thought you meant the type of clientele.
Oh, no, no. I'm sure they're lovely folks.
Pretty normal to me. No, there's a lot of them, that's for sure. It's pretty busy.
Yeah. No, impressive.
I thought, when I said, you know, talked about your car enthusiasm, I thought you were going to tell me, well, I'm a bit on the back burner now because I do so much other stuff.
You can still be interested. It's really strange. I don't know whether it's the same for you.
There used to be the thing about working in a chocolate factory when, if you went to work for Cadbury's or Bourneville or wherever it might be, they allowed you to eat as much chocolate as you liked.
Yeah.
On the basis, after a week, you would never...
That'd be it.
You would never...
Not to put chocolate in your mouth ever again. And yet, you were just saying before we started recording, you've been on AutoCar and then obviously Car Magazine before that for, what, 40 years?
Going back to Australia, you've been pricing about cars 50, 60 years.
Yeah.
And I've been doing it for, well, since I was 28. But I still haven't lost the thrill of a good car.
Yeah. I'm glad to hear that because the thing is, we talked about this just...
I can't remember why it came up, but we were chatting about, you know, the pod on our pod about you.
And you're still a good reviewer. There's a lot of people in newspapers who wouldn't know a good car if you drove it up their backside.
Oh, you know, though, don't you? I had the chap, I don't know his name, from BYD, called, not me, but the editor at the Sunday Times, who looks after those pages I write.
Yeah.
A car calling for.
And to complain that the BYD Seal 6, which is named after that special forces team that killed...
Yeah.
Some Ben and Arden for reasons I don't understand. But anyhow, he complained that when they picked it up, it had only done 19 miles since he dropped it off.
And I just thought, well, that's how shit it is.
I mean, after... I drove it to the pub, which is, you know, nine miles away.
Yeah.
And was able to deduce that I'd driven it enough.
You could just tell from the fabric of the seats and the springing in the seats and the unlined door pockets that it was all just a bit crap.
Very cheap, of course.
And if you want a new cheap car...
Makes a lot of people happy, though.
Yes, you're sure. That's absolutely... If you're looking for a new car with a new car smell and a new car experience, then what a rigged cost to buy that.
It makes perfect sense. But if you're a car enthusiast, it's an awful thing.
Yeah.
But yeah, no, I still... It's very kind of you to say that I can...
I still view them, because I look at hybrids and I have no clue. I don't know what a kilowatt hour is. No clue.
Well, it's... I mean, you do it from the point of view of the reader, don't you? It's not... The reader doesn't know what a kilowatt hour is.
But you should know. You should know how the car was put together.
Yeah.
I think, because if you're a really good reviewer... I mean, I've never forgotten that Car Magazine piece that... I don't know whether you wrote or...
About the drive back with the Lambos in Car Magazine.
Oh, no, it was Nichols. Yeah.
Was that...
Mel Nichols. Yeah.
That was... That, for me, that was...
Proper Motoring Journalism. And that was a man who understood how those cars worked, understood why they had those V12s and the firing order written out on the top of the engine and so on, and made it live and made the drive so that you felt, oh, my God, I wish I could drive a Lamborghini across Europe.
You were an impressionable young bloke then, I guess.
I was. I was probably in my early 20s. I mean, I can still remember it. I can remember the pictures and everything.
Yeah.
Amazing story.
A lot of it was taken... There was no photography. It just... It was him hanging out the window.
Did he do it? Did he do it? Really?
Yeah.
It was such... It's the sort of most memorable piece of Motoring Journalism. I mean, PJ O'Rourke was pretty good as well.
Pretty handy, yeah.
He was pretty good at reviewing a car. But that one of Mel's, I thought, I still think is about as good as it ever got.
Yeah, yeah. No, it's good.
Do you still read much about cars?
No. I don't read car magazines anymore, which is, I think, sad. But, you know, they're reviewing new cars. And as I've explained, I'm not interested in new cars, you know.
I don't know what's happening.
Bloody toaster.
Well, it's just a unit, though, isn't it? I mean, if you forget the letters behind it, it's just a thing.
It's just a thing. And I just can't... It just seems so unnecessarily complicated.
Yeah. People get... Well, I think that a frighteningly large number of the population think the same.
You know, there's still mass confusion about EVs forever running into people who say, well, I'll never get into one.
Or vice versa. You know, you get cross...
You know, you get cross with me for not having got into one.
Yeah, yeah. But what do you think? When you're actually... There must be times when you get in one. Renault 5. You get in one and you think...
Yeah, it's a fun... You know, if that had a nice, proper little engine, that would be a great car. I really... It looks fantastic.
It does.
Really looks fantastic. And Lisa loved the Renault 4 that they did, because her dad used to have a Renault 4. So, you know, she was like, oh, my God, it was like a modern day version.
Yeah.
And she likes electric cars. So she thought they were great.
Do you see one in a...
In the family? Do you imagine one in the family?
No, we'll never... I'll never have an electric car, not in a million years. That would be like, you know, selling out.
But you've got all the three-phase electric stuff here you can climb on.
I mean, what did I have the other day? A BMW of some sort electric car. And I had actually been to London and back with it. And it was down to 80 mile range. So I thought, I'll charge it.
So I took the cable out. I thought, well, where does that go? Someone said, you've got to go to the car up in Chipping Norton.
Really? I thought I'd do selfies for half an hour. Sold that for a game of soldiers. So that's going to get it on a truck.
Yeah.
No, I'm not going to charge. I know I've never been in an electric car. And it's a bit like, you know, Wayne Rooney suddenly decided that he was a Chelsea supporter. You know, he's a, he's obviously Man U. So, and I'm petrol.
Yeah.
Diesel. Petrol mostly.
Yeah.
So, no, I'm never having one. I don't understand them and I don't like the driving character.
I think if you take a car's engine away, you've taken away its soul.
Yeah. Interesting.
And you can't love something that has no soul.
But what else gives a car a soul? It's its engine.
Yeah. Steering, ride, handling, brakes.
Well, yes, it's all part of it, obviously. But the actual soul is the engine. And I really love, because I don't understand how engines work, really.
I really love it when I find a good one, because it's like witchcraft.
Yeah.
I just think there's been sorcery has happened to create this amazing sounding, feeling engine.
We're impressed by, just at the moment, by Cosworth, who have engineered the Aston V12, the Murray V12, and are working on the Bugatti V16, which is a hell of a thing for one company, one British company.
That is remarkable.
Lots of people say, well, they should be moving on and it's only petrol. But it's a hell of a thing, isn't it?
Plenty of petrol left. Plenty of the world. Nobody's going to buy an electric car as well. So, no, I don't blame them.
No, no. What about car collections? Lots of people, you know, with your buying power, sort of boast about, or don't, they talk about the cars they've got themselves.
Do you collect cars?
Do you collect cars? Have you got a few cars?
I've got a few relics from the Grand Tour that I didn't want to just say goodbye to. So, I've got the GTV6 that we used in Scotland, and I've got the Monte Carlo, that Monte Carlo, in fact, from the last ever Zimbabwe.
It's got a door on it again.
Yes, the door's back on it. And it's been mildly put back, because it was fairly battered when it got back underneath.
Yeah, I remember the pictures.
It's sort of worse. It's not restored by any means, but you can pootle around in it.
It's fun. And then I've got Lincoln Continental that we used on the Grand Tour. I've got a Mercedes Grosso. I've got a Mini.
Which Mercedes Grosso?
600.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Do you drive it?
I think its last outing was my daughter's wedding, and I didn't drive it.
Maybe she'll get married again.
Yeah. No, she's got a nice husband, but I've got another daughter one day.
But it's a smashing car.
And I had some nice carpets and leather, restored the interior of it, so it smells nice, and it's a lovely place to sit.
You used to wear it.
It's slightly on show, you know, because of those thin pillars they had in cars from that period.
I don't want to roll it over, but it's a lovely looking thing.
What else have I got?
Well, a Jag, of course.
I've got, well, that's not, yeah, that's, I used to use that. I used an old Range Rover on the farm.
And the Jaguar, if I'm...
That's a white F-Type.
Yeah, it's 20 grand. It's only 20,000 miles.
Well, it's a 100,000 pound car.
Yeah.
It's only a V6, but it's a 100,000 pound car.
And I said to the guy, well, how much do you want for it?
He said, 20 grand.
I thought, Christ, that's fantastic, because I like convertibles.
Yeah.
And so, you can pootle around. In the summer, you whizz around everywhere in the Jag, and then go further afield.
I have a Spur.
Oh, okay. Yeah. How old?
The Spur's probably four or five years old now.
Oh, so...
I bought it new.
A 12.
No, it's a V8.
A 12? V8, okay.
I never liked V12s.
No.
Too complicated. Unnecessarily complicated, I think.
Well, that V8 is such a nice engine, isn't it?
Yeah, it's a great engine.
You know, in any... Judged against anything.
It's a great engine. Was it related to the one they put... No, it's a Porsche-type V8, isn't it? Yeah.
It's a... I think it's shared with Audis, certainly.
Well, the RS4 engine was... That's one of my favorites, but that was a 4.2, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Possibly.
And that was a hell of an engine.
Yeah.
But I get muddled with the Volkswagen group.
Oh, I don't blame you.
V8s and who's got what. You've got the Euros and all the Porsches and the Bentleys and the... I don't really know.
Yeah, yeah.
But no, so I've got a few cars, but they're not really... I don't go out and buy them.
I just inherited them. And obviously, no more Grand Tour now. No more inheriting old, interesting cars that cost a fortune to insure and run.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the cars go wrong when you're not looking at them.
Yeah, Matt's got this theory that every time he drives past a local... He has a Defender, a quarter of a million mile Defender. And whenever you drive past a local...
Oh, it's like 800 quid every time.
It's another 800 quid.
Every time.
Yeah.
I've got an Audi A2 that costs 30 quid every time it goes wrong, and a Defender that costs 800 every time it goes wrong.
Well, this is new Range Rover's just been in for service. And that's eye-wateringly expensive.
Yeah.
It's unbelievably expensive.
Crazy, isn't it?
Yeah.
Just looking on your wall here at the Toyota.
That's a Nissan, actually.
Oh, sorry. There was a Toyota that you tried to kill and couldn't, wasn't there?
There was a Toyota Hilux we tried to kill on top, yeah.
Where's that now? Does that still exist?
Well, the last... Honestly, I don't know. I know that it spent some time in the foyer of Toyota's world headquarters in Tokyo.
It did go there.
Yeah.
Then it was back, and it was a prop in the Top Gear studio for a long time. And then I have no clue where it is now, actually. But that one was in this, and that's the one we went across the English Channel in.
Right.
I quite like that picture.
Yes.
Slightly preposterous. You pick up truck in the middle of the sea. Anyway, I'm not talking about old Top Gear, because every time I put social media on, there's James or Richard talking about...
They've covered everything now.
Yeah, yeah.
Little stick to cars.
Do you... Given that, you know, the cars that you've got are quite related to the Grand Tour, and I've just read Andy's book, Andy Wilman's book, and there was a hell of a lot of regret when that ended. Are you sorry that it's over?
No. No, not even slightly.
No.
I don't miss it.
No.
I don't miss it.
I don't miss it. I'm glad we did it. We had an enormous amount of fun doing it. But it's quite physical.
Yes, I believe it was. You can see it.
You know, it's much harder to do than you might imagine. And also, the world is a much smaller place now. You know, think of the trips we've done over the recent past. Ukraine can't go there anymore. Russia can't go there anymore.
We drove, landed in Iran, drove up past Iran into Turkey, down through Syria, through Homs, Al-Raqqa, Palmyra, into Jordan, into Israel. Can't do any of that.
No.
The whole of North Africa, with the exception of Morocco, is gone. So... And, you know, we... Southern Africa... Limited to Southern Africa, we've done Namibia, we've done Mozambique, we've done Botswana, you know.
Yeah.
We've now done Zimbabwe.
Yeah.
So, it was like...
Yeah. But we still feel... We've had a bit of... You know, we've been doing this for three years and we've... So, we find ourselves talking about car programmes and the fact that it's not here anymore...
It's coming back.
Well, yes, but...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't you be... Do not be hasty.
Don't knock them.
Don't be hasty.
And you're involved in...
No.
At all? Not involved at all?
No, no, not at all. I think Andy's involved to some extent.
Difficult to work out how much, but he's definitely involved. I know he is, because I heard his voice on the guide track of their film, so...
But I've seen the guys being chosen, you know, in the early days, and I've seen some of the stuff they've been doing, and it's very, very good.
Different?
Oh, it's different. I mean, it's different, because they're three completely different people to us.
Yeah.
They're bloody funny.
No, I just wondered if the proposition's different. You know, the go somewhere and have an adventure...
You shall see. You shall see. But, no, I'm pretty confident. I'm pretty confident that that will work. I mean, touch wood, from that point of view, from everybody's point of view, it will work.
I'd love the idea that Grand Tour carried on.
Is Porter still involved?
Not with this one, no.
Ah.
Not with this one. But, you know, when we were just doing specials, Porter was crucial, vital when you're in a studio, but when you're on a special, it's like...
Yeah.
You're having to make it up as you go.
Whatever comes out, yeah.
Yeah, exactly. So it's like you don't really need a script, right? But he is, I mean, a wonderful guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he is, I mean, obviously, a very important part of my life, even to this day, so...
Yeah.
Yeah.
How far back do you go? We talked about the cars you like, and the cars you've got some... Could you imagine yourself in a vintage car, something as old as...
No, it's an interesting one, this one, isn't it? I think you're interested in very old stuff.
I have been. I have been.
With the controls on the outside.
Yeah.
See, I've never...
I've...
No, they don't interest me. I was trying to work this one out only the other day. It was almost the Mustang. You know, even not... What would they be? Which Jags would they be? You know, when they've got the sort of fenders, the wheel arch things, and they're separate from the bonnet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was only when the bonnet and the wing became a horizontal surface.
Yeah.
So 60s.
That's a 60s, really.
Is it 64?
Yeah, so I think it might have been 62, 63. Anyway, the Ford Mustang was early 60s.
The Ford Mustang was the sort of first car that you go, wow.
Yeah.
And I can remember as a child decorating... I'd go to the motor show every year, which was the best day by a mile of the year. And you'd go, and I'd collect brochures and then cut out the pictures and stick them on my bedroom wall in a collage. And the one next to my bed was a Volvo P1800ES. I used to love that thing. I'm ghastly.
I've driven one now. They're awful, but...
You have driven one now.
I have, and they're terrible. But it was... I loved that thing so much. So yeah, that would have been late 60s. Was it ES?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but late 60s.
I think the...
Or maybe 70.
The P1800 was the first, and then the ES came later.
Yeah, the ES was the...
Was the bread man one.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I know. So that period of car for styling was, I think, really special.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, obviously, the mechanics had caught up and became... Very good. I still think
the... Where the Jag was. We discussed this with Harry Metcalf just the other
day. When was peak car, because we had definitely passed it.
Yeah.
But it was before the bong started, but after the... No, before the
exhaust, whenever that exhaust regulation came in that stopped cars sounding nice and...
Anyhow, we worked it out. And it's about when the Jag was made, and I can't remember
theание, was it?
I mean, how old that is now.
Yeah.
The F-Type, that's a pretty good car.
Doesn't bong at you.
Ian Callum reckons it's a good car.
You know, he's been associated with lots of cars
and he particularly likes the Jag because of the...
He does, but although he and I were talking about this just recently
and we're slightly different in that he wanted that to have a transaxle
and go off and be a Porsche Boxster rival.
Whereas I just think if you want a Porsche...
Have one.
Have a Porsche.
Porsche's really, really good at making Porsches.
They are really good at it.
Yeah.
Nobody in the world is better at making a Porsche than Porsche.
So why would Jaguar want to go and make a Porsche?
Now, there lives in my mind the ideal Jaguar,
which is a sort of halfway between the E-Type
and the Series 3 XJ on Pepper Potts.
That...
With the little pencil tray.
Yeah.
You remember that?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
There's an old Schweppes commercial with Terry Thomas game
when they ran out of tonic.
It was a catastrophe.
Now, we then see his car in that commercial,
but we know he has a Jaguar.
I see.
And it could be an E-Type or it could be a Pepper Potts and wheels XJ,
but yeah, so that's where I think Jaguars should live.
Yeah.
Is in that...
What did they have?
It was a great space in space, I think.
Yeah, that was it.
Space was stretching it slightly with an XJ,
but much in there.
Yeah, there was no space.
It wasn't quite right.
Well, space for a small person.
Yes, quite.
I can't believe how tiny...
I used to think of them as huge cars,
but they're titchy.
They're microscopic.
Yeah, tiny.
Yeah.
And they're beautiful looking things.
They're too petrol for the caps.
Yeah.
No, so, yeah, I do slightly disagree with him
that Jaguar could or should have been a Porsche,
but...
It's a rival.
Jaguar's Jaguar.
Yeah.
And I drive that.
I channel my inner Terry Thomas as I'm going along.
It's a task.
How many miles do you reckon you do?
In your own cars?
Would it...
I mean, do you drive a lot or...
Around here, yeah.
But if I go further afield,
it would be poor form to lose my driving licence.
Yes, very true.
Which Andy Willman found to his cost recently
is also extremely annoying.
Yeah, I bet.
So I tend to get someone else to drive me
to go up and down to London.
And also in London, it just saves an awful lot of faff.
Oh, yeah.
You know, you can't park and what have you,
so I just get somebody to whiz me about in London.
But no, I drive everywhere around here,
so I don't do very many miles,
but I drive every day sort of thing.
You've never got into the helicopters?
Oh, God, no.
Because, well, you say this, but...
I know it's expensive, but lots of people...
Well, Jonathan Palmer, David Richards...
Grand Prix, I used a helicopter.
I used...
Actually, I went on a helicopter to Twickenham on Saturday.
But no, I'm not going to buy one.
No.
You know, if it floats, flies and...
No, it's better to have the phone number on the wall, isn't it,
and ring them up.
Yeah, exactly.
No, once a year, twice a year.
Grand Prix, I would go in a helicopter.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, anyway, there's a lot of traffic,
but no, I wouldn't use a helicopter.
Tell us about your first car.
I can't remember you writing about your first car.
Well, I've done it a few times.
Have you?
What was it?
It was a Ford Cortina 1600E.
Ten years old when I got it.
1600E, good car?
Yeah, really good.
My dad had one, and I loved it.
Ambergold.
And it was the later one where the dash dipped down.
The earlier ones, it was the four dash.
Oh, yes, yeah, yeah.
It had a raised section on the dashboard
and it dropped down later.
Not that I'm a cardboard,
but all these things live in my head,
about pencil trays and jags
and the arrangement of the dash in there.
Pencil tray.
God, I'll tell you what, I haven't...
From that day to the last...
From the time I clocked a pencil tray and a jag to today,
I've never thought of the pencil tray.
That's...
I urgently want a pencil tray in that.
Every time I get there, I go,
there's nowhere to put my pencil.
I haven't got a pencil,
but if I did have a pencil,
I'd have nowhere to put it.
That'd be a drag, you know.
So...
So what, did you crash the car?
I mean, everybody that has a...
No, I didn't crash it.
I crashed my mother's Audi
36 hours after passing my driving test.
Oh, wow.
Because when the man...
When the man said, the examiner said,
well, congratulations, he passed.
What I heard was, congratulations,
you are literally the best driver
I've ever seen in my life.
And then 36 hours later,
just by Town Hill in the Yorkshire Dales,
I proved demonstrably
that I was not the best driver.
In a ditch?
No, it sort of went through a ditch
and then over a little yump
and both front wheels came off.
Oh.
So it was a good crash.
It was an awful time.
Actually,
they didn't come off.
They were bent like that.
So I got out on my side
and I was walking.
I thought, God, there's no damage.
I've got away with it.
And a friend of mine got out on the other side
and he's going, no, yeah, no, nothing wrong there.
And they were...
One was turning left
and one was turning right.
Yeah, exactly.
So we thought, we can go back home.
Nobody need know about this.
Did you...
Was your mum an understanding woman?
She was...
Well, there was all mothers
pleased that I hadn't hurt myself.
Oh, okay.
That's good.
Brilliant.
Yeah.
It's a...
It's a...
There's always a crash early on.
There is a crash.
Do you crash wrong?
Never.
No, I didn't.
I was in somebody else's...
A couple of weeks after I got my licence,
I was in somebody else's dad's car,
which we rolled.
Okay, in ours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was a bit...
It was down to the car.
It was one of those cars which...
Holden, which got into
the sort of terminal tank slapper.
Not...
Irrecoverable.
Just went...
Went back and forth,
back and forth
until it finally fell over.
It was...
But there were...
They didn't have much
structural integrity at all.
No, no.
No, not at all.
You don't want to be rolling them.
Where did your cars go from there?
So, 1600E
and then
I got a job selling
Paddington Bears
and I had a Scirocco Mark I.
GLI,
which would be really pedantic.
People think of them as GTIs.
But the original Mark I Scirocco...
Was that a lower tune than a GTI?
No, it was a GTI engine,
1588cc, 110 horsepower.
You know, the same as you got
with the Bosch Koja Tron.
Yeah.
That you got in the original Golf GTI.
But it was called a GLI.
Anyway, I had one of those.
Then I had a Mark II Scirocco.
Then I had a CSL BMW.
Sold that for £3,250.
£3,250.
I can spot these future...
Then I had an Honda CRX.
Then an Alfa GTB6.
Oh, that's a proper car.
Then I did a few long-termers
when I was doing car magazine stuff.
I mean...
Then...
And then I sort of bought that Range Rover.
Yeah.
How long ago?
Well, that's 18 years I've had that.
Wow.
Have you...
How long have you had this farm?
Because this is...
I bought it in 2008.
Say again?
2008 I bought the farm.
Oh, okay.
So...
About a while.
I mean, I've lived in this neck of the woods for 30 years.
But, well, between here and London.
Whereas now it's here and I go to London once a fortnight probably.
Yeah, I see.
I see.
Now that's...
Where are you?
You're out in...
Campbell.
Just near...
Just near Cirencester.
Yes, I'm near Campbell, obviously.
Yeah.
With all the jumbos.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's...
I live in a village straight under the runway.
Flight path.
I actually like it.
I still like it.
Well, it's just...
It's just nice down there.
Somebody turns up in a biz jet and I always rush out of the house to see what it is.
Actually, we're sitting in the...
It was a great moment.
We often make our pod in my dining room, which is my office.
And we're sitting there chatting away and this aeroplane goes over the house at about,
I don't know, 250 feet.
Yeah.
And he looks...
He said, do you know what that was?
And I had no idea.
He said that was a jet provost.
He looked it up on flight radar.
Oh, I do.
I can't tell.
Yeah.
I do that because we get...
I'm fairly convinced that...
I'm not sure if they're RAF or...
No, they must be army, actually.
The army guys that fly over the house with the Chinooks.
It's like they've got a competition just to see who can twang our lightning conductors.
Because, my God, they come over there.
They must know you're here.
They do.
They do.
And I don't mind the army coming over or the air force.
Absolutely.
I don't even mind biz jets or helicopters because they're going somewhere.
Yeah.
But weekends with a light aircraft...
One of these days, I'm going to buy a surface-to-air missile.
In fact, I'm going to buy two because I don't want it to look like an accident.
It takes such a long time to fly over you.
And they're not going anywhere.
They're going to land back at their own airfield again.
This is...
Sorry to tell you this, but I have got a pilot's license.
I fly...
So does James May.
And my son-in-law is learning how to fly.
I was like, no, God, you're going to learn somewhere else.
And they all fly at 90 knots.
As you say, because that's the cheap way.
As soon as you talk to Goodwin, you get a quick one that starts to drink the fuel,
whereas a slow one...
They buckle along.
Well, there's microlights.
And of course, we have to stop filming when a light aircraft is coming over.
It can take three or four minutes to be out of range,
by which time, on a really nice day, you've got another one coming.
Yeah, yeah.
How much of the year is filming?
A little bit.
I mean, we haven't for the last four months,
but for the last five years, we just film all the time, constantly.
So there's a crew, or the elements of a crew, here all the time?
Yeah, there's either a little crew or a great big crew.
Wow.
I think it's a great big crew tomorrow.
So the number of minutes filmed to the number of minutes aired...
Oh, no, it doesn't work like that.
Is it not?
No.
It used to...
Grand Tour was always funny.
It was...
Andy told me once, the average shooting ratio is 12 to 1.
12 minutes for every minute shown, 12 hours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Ashton was 500 to 1.
Good God.
Obviously.
And then the Grand Tour, the last time we looked, was 1,200 to 1.
Andy said, that's how useless you three were.
We had to throw away 1,199 hours of your drivel.
No, it's much less...
But that's to do with quality, really, isn't it?
It is.
You get high quality, the bigger your number is.
But we don't...
A lot of the time here, we are sitting around eating biscuits and drinking tea
because you're always...
You can't go and farm.
You can't go and farm when you want to.
No.
You have to react to what's going on.
Anyway, we're digressing.
We should get back to cars.
Do you...
But just talking...
If you want to read about farming, you can read Farmer's Weekly.
Indeed.
This is autocast.
It's different.
But I've always wondered...
It was your tea, yeah?
I've always seen the major advantage of being in the reporting racket like we are
as being all you've got to do is talk to a bloke, write in your notebook,
go and bang the typewriter for a bit, and then you...
Have you got...
How have you managed to accommodate in your head the slowness of it all?
The slowness of what?
The slowness of the television creation.
Oh, it's much faster, television.
Really?
Oh, yeah, I think so.
Particularly this.
Yeah.
Farming.
Because there is no script.
No.
People always go on stage...
That's what people like.
And you know what?
The pig's dying.
Gerald's cancer.
You know...
Yeah.
You can't stay.
You can't stay.
You can't stay.
You can't stay on stage any of it.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, we've got a donkey that's desperately ill at the moment.
We've all got our fingers crossed that it survives.
But you don't know.
No.
So I can't write, and then the donkey died, because it might get better.
I can't write, and then the donkey got better, because you don't know what the donkey's going
to do.
So somebody might come and bang on the door in a minute and say, guess what?
The donkey's...
Dying.
Yeah.
Oh, dear.
So you have to be ready to go, but you do spend an awful lot of time sitting around...
Yeah.
...doomscrolling.
Doomscrolling on your phone.
Yeah, yeah.
Waiting for the weather to do something different.
Doomscrolling, yeah.
An animal to be ready to...
Well, whatever.
Okay.
So, yeah.
So, no.
Writing, you know, it's quite...
I find writing incredibly therapeutic.
I do that to relax.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So do people don't...
I mean, I'm a little bit the same.
I find that I have a job, a piece of writing to do, and I sort of think, oh, Christ, I
don't really want to do this.
But when I start, I think...
Exactly the same.
I'm exactly the same for this.
Yeah.
I don't want to...
I had to get up this morning and thought, that's a bloody...
Review the Bentley Bentayga.
Yeah.
And then you start writing, you go, well, actually, if I turn that sentence around and
put that there, yeah, that's...
Then you get sort of proud of your sentences and you sit back and go, okay, I gave birth
to that sentence.
I did that.
And anyway, I'm running and I love it.
It's really good music.
Just talking about cars and buying them, do you...
Is there anything that you'd like to own, that you're desperate to own that you don't
own?
Yes.
Yes.
LFA.
Lamborghini Revuelta, which actually is the...
It's the only exception that proves the rule on new cars, because I truly love that thing.
I was...
And that came from being offered one to review?
Yeah.
It just came to review.
And it was absolutely freezing.
It was ice.
It was really...
Literally the worst conditions for a car like that.
And it was astounding.
I just loved every single...
Do you...
Yeah.
We had one at our best driver's car last autumn, and we were in the Lake District with terrible
rain, and it was still amazingly good.
Yeah, it was just...
It was astonishingly good.
What's good about it?
Just for...
It steers properly.
It's so exciting.
It's just so unbelievably exciting.
It's what a Lamborghini should be.
It's like a poster car, but it's just...
And the bonger it does...
I don't know if yours was the same, but it sounds...
You break the speed limit.
It's so quiet.
Only a dog could hear it.
Yeah, you wouldn't hear it.
You can't hear it.
So they've got...
Yeah, it's got a bong.
He's bong.
Yeah.
He's obeying law.
You can't hear it.
I just...
I've always liked Lambos.
I really always, always, always have.
You owned one.
Oh, I did.
I had a Garda.
Of course, I had a Ferrari as well, and a Ford GT.
Yeah, I remember the Ford GT.
Didn't you...
I skipped from...
I missed my mid-engine supercar phase.
I'll never go about that.
You can't see out of them, can you?
Well, you can't see out of them.
I loathe putting luggage in the front of a car.
It's just wrong.
Yeah.
And then every time you pull up somewhere,
you just feel a little bit embarrassed.
It's like, you know,
we waxed lyrical about the gullwing doors on a SLS, Mercedes.
Yeah.
And I can remember one sitting on Canhoi Street in London,
waiting for there to be nobody walking by
before I got out of it.
Because you just think,
in a minute, I'm going to have to do that with the door.
And everyone's going to think,
what an arse that man is.
Yeah, yeah.
And so you have to wait for no one to be looking
before you get out.
And when you start to realise...
They're great fun to go and drive on a track,
for us to write about.
Very wide, that car.
Do you remember?
It was really wide, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Really wide.
It was...
Would there be a plan for you to buy a Lambo?
No, no, no.
No, no, that's too expensive.
An LFA still lives in my head as a...
God, I'd love to...
Is there a market in those?
Yeah, 300 and something thousand.
Are they?
Very expensive.
There's not many of them around.
No, very few.
It's not going to...
And actually, they're...
They're just pre-peak car, actually.
It's like, you try putting a seatbelt on in an LFA.
I mean, I had it pretty...
I've forgotten about my Mercedes CLK Black as well.
That was a cracking car.
And a Golf GTI.
Yeah.
In fact, there's a lot of cars I've owned recently.
Which Golf?
I just...
I went from the CLK Black to a Golf GTI.
Wow.
My spine had been so smashed by the CLK.
Great car, though, it was.
Yeah.
And it also had this weird, weird thing that the tyres would last no more than 5,000 miles.
And while they were still visually fine,
and I used to notice it going on the Oxford Ring Road,
going around all those roundabouts,
you needed to have your wits about you,
because it would slither about all over the shop.
So...
But it was a cracking car.
It did like...
But you couldn't put the seatbelt on.
Yeah.
And you can't in an LFA.
And the LFA has got a Zippo lighter for a fuel tank.
Honestly, you'd be stopping...
It'd be more practical having an electric car than one of those,
because you just have to stop all the time.
But I just...
It's the sound it makes.
It goes back to the engine.
Beautifully made, though, don't you think, too?
Oh, stunning.
And I got the loveliest letter from the kid who designed it, engineered it.
He was only young.
A guy at Toyota who they put in charge of the project.
And when the LFA came out, the reviews were kind of...
You know, not...
Yeah.
I remember Hammond reviewed it in a very meh, to use a modern expression, type way.
And all the magazines were broadly in agreement with him.
It's nice.
I can remember us not getting excited.
You know, all saying it was great.
It wasn't just autocar.
Top Gear didn't.
Well, nobody did.
Car, Evo.
Nobody got excited about it at all, really.
And then I drove it, and I was priapic.
It was a...
That's the sound, that wounded bear is how I described it.
It was...
Oh, is it?
Wailing noise.
Yeah.
And I thought it was...
And also, it had that dashboard you could move around, which was unusual in those days.
Yeah.
And they're all at it now.
But I was like, this is just perfection.
And it was front engine, so...
Yeah.
I thought, oh, my God, this is absolute joy.
And I got the loveliest, loveliest letter from the guy.
He said, nobody really got my car until you came.
So, he was thrilled.
He sent me a book on it.
Oh, nice.
Will's most boring book, but very detailed.
But it's a car I still treasure.
Eagle Speedster, I'd like one of those.
Yeah.
It's only a million pounds.
Yes.
Yeah.
But you can...
Well, I don't know if you can see a million quids worth of work in it, but you can see
a lot of work.
Oh, yeah.
Where are you with resto mods?
Love them.
Absolutely love them.
What do you particularly like?
What do you particularly like in a mate?
So, the Eagle Speedster, I think, is a really good one.
I don't...
Have you driven an Alphaholics?
One of the...
About three years ago?
Yeah.
I think they're fabulous.
Absolutely.
I was just...
I really...
You said, you want to take it for a drive?
And I said, oh, Christ, an old GTI.
Yeah.
Well, off I sat.
Well, the gear change, it's nothing like an Alfa, an old Alfa.
I've never driven an old one, but I just thought that...
Well, it's nothing like that.
It's a...
It was a...
Lovely car.
So, I really like that.
I haven't driven a Singer Porsche.
And there's a company just down the road from here called Theon, I think.
Yeah.
They're in a barn just next to the road.
And you're just...
I think they're great.
I think they're really pretty.
I mean, we have this day, a few friends around here, just those of us who like cars.
Actually, it's an Alfa Romeo day, just...
Very few people turn up because they've tried to get their in their Alfa Romeo.
But anyway.
Yeah, the Alfa Rolex guys come to that, and it's...
I think that's a lovely, lovely thing.
But there was somebody who brought one of those Theon Porsches along, and I just thought...
Yeah.
There was a Delta Integrale there last year as well that had been quite resto-modded.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're ripe for that, aren't they?
Do you like them?
Are you a fan of resto-mods, or do you find it sacrilege?
No, I'm happy with the...
I think, for me, it's a matter of how far you go.
If...
I mean, if the essence of the car is...
If it's well-preserved, I'm fine with it.
You know...
True.
Yeah.
I mean, Alfa Rolex is slightly odd inasmuch as they'll only work with a two-litre engine
that can trace its roots back to that original twin cam.
Yeah.
So, I mean, I was saying, could you do something with my GT V6?
And they were like, no, that's a V6.
Will you just do...
The twin spark you can that was in the 75.
Yeah.
So, I think they used that, but...
There were some God awful cars.
You know, do you remember the originals?
Did we...
You presumably road-tested the original 75?
It looked like a...
Yeah.
A kind of bent...
It was sitting on the electric windows in the roof.
Yeah, and it looked like the body was bent.
It had this...
It looked like a banana.
There was nothing funny in it.
You have a passenger, and they said, get the window down.
And you could say, go on.
And they could be 15 minutes.
Go and roll with these up here, obviously.
Yeah.
And a handbrake that you could...
You would always skin your knuckles.
That's it.
Yeah, there was a...
That handle thing...
It was a V-shaped thing that, if you were in a gear,
if you'd left it in, you know, second, fourth, and reverse,
you'd...
Yeah, that was it.
But apply it half a dozen times, you had to go to A&E, didn't you?
That was...
I remember that very well.
But it had a transaxle.
Yes, yeah.
And underneath, it was a pretty well-sorted car, the 75.
Yeah.
Superficially, it was terrible, but...
You know.
You were...
I think you told me one time that you have got a letter from me
saying that you were unsuccessful in applying for a job.
Yeah, no.
Is that right?
I don't know that I've still got the letter,
but I do remember getting it vividly.
Right.
And sobbing for a week.
What happened?
That was in 19...
I'm going to say...
This was...
Car magazine.
You were editor of Car magazine.
Yeah.
So I must have been 81, because that's when I took over.
81, okay.
81.
In fact, it probably was 81.
And I wrote saying,
look, I just qualified with NCTJ, you know, as a journalist.
So I've got my NCTJ by cheating in the shorthand exam,
but we'll pass over that.
And I probably only had 90 words a minute,
but it was more than any other motor journalist had probably.
I bet, yeah.
Before or since, yeah.
So I thought, okay, I've got my NCTJ,
and I really want to write about cars.
So I wrote to you, and you wrote...
You did write a very sweet letter back.
I mean, it said no, but it was encouraging.
It was, don't give up.
And then, thank you for that, because I didn't.
No, you certainly did not.
No.
It was an interesting thing to...
I think Paul Horrell got the job.
Remember him?
Oh, no, I do remember Paul, of course.
It was way before Paul Horrell was invented.
Maybe it was John...
I don't think you were advertising for a job.
I wrote on spec.
Oh, really?
Okay, well, it was...
But then I tried to get into advertising,
and every single one of those agencies,
Ogilvy and Mather and McKen Ericsson and J. Walter Thompson,
and they all turned me down,
which is why I spend a lot of time now with ad men,
smirking at them, going,
and you, you see.
But I suppose, I mean, we all would have been,
you know, hoped you had some more experience.
Blimey, you went off to newspapers, didn't you?
No, I went off...
Well, I had that...
I was parked up in Wallingford
and selling Paddington's, utterly miserable.
And there was a local newspaper office just at the lights,
you know, the Wallingford Gazette or whatever it might have been.
And I was thinking,
oh, I wonder if they've got a motoring correspondent, you know,
is this what I wanted to do?
Sure.
And I thought, well, they won't have.
And then I thought, no local newspaper house, not little ones.
So why don't I set up an agency that can write one road test
and then sell it to...
Sure.
...quite cheaply?
This didn't go down well with our colleagues from the Northern group, but...
No.
Off we set, Jonathan Gill and I, with a motoring press agency.
Oh, of course you did, yeah.
And so we did that for quite a number of years.
With absolutely no success initially.
But it worked out in the end, didn't it?
Well, yeah, I mean, it did.
And Jonathan's, you know, Jonathan's done very well
because he does mostly PR now, but...
Yeah, we just used to get up, not the same house,
we were working at Jonathan's house
and then we'd take a photograph of whatever car we had that week
and we'd go all the way up to the West End to have the photographs printed.
And we'd write the review and then...
Put it in an envelope with the thing to...
Whatever it was, the Wolverhampton Express and Star or Lincolnshire Life
or whatever it might be and then...
Or all of them.
And then go to the pub
and then drink in the pub until it was time for Danger Mouse.
And then we'd watch Danger Mouse, by which time the pub was open again.
And that was the week.
That was...
And there were two of us.
And I think the first year we made 1,800 quid.
Excellent.
Between the three.
So we weren't terribly successful.
But I did watch a lot of Danger Mouse.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was drinking more than 1,800 quids of the beer, that's for sure.
At what stage did you discover that you could write those columns?
I remember...
Because I was hiring columnists at the time
and I remember your column bobbing up in Performance Car
and I felt so cheesed off because they were...
Well, you had some...
You had got Leonard Setwright, George Bishop...
Phil Llewellyn, yeah.
Phil, obviously.
Phil was so...
Phil was so good.
He was, yeah.
And then...
Well, they all were.
I mean, I always think, you know, George Bishop was basically Michael Winner
and then, you know...
Yeah.
It was a...
You got a pretty good collection.
You got James Mayen, actually.
No, did you have James?
Yeah, you did.
Briefly, yeah.
Fired him.
Yeah.
Went fired from everywhere.
So, no, I went to...
I wrote a piece on spec.
As I say, we were 1,800 quid.
I thought, I literally can't live.
Yeah, no, of course not.
I'm just making no money.
So, I wrote a piece on spec for Jess Cross at Performance Car.
Yeah.
And then he said, okay, I'll take it.
And then I got on the strength of that with Brian LeBan was there
and John Henderson and so on.
And he gave me a column.
I mean, was there a run-up required or did you just find you could do it
from the dead start?
Do you know, the funny thing was I found it...
They used to take these collections of columns
and make them into a book every year.
Yes.
And I found it the other day.
The collection of Performance Car columns, actually.
Do you remember?
Yeah.
In a book.
God, I used to be really good at this.
We used to.
It's a lot better than I am now, that's for sure.
We used to...
No, you're not.
No, you're...
No, no, honestly.
There were some really carefully crafted lines back then.
Yeah.
I suppose it was desperation because you were so poor.
You'd think, oh, God.
And also, it was quite competitive, that world we were in.
Yes, true.
There was a lot of people on those car launches who were, you know,
knifing other people in the back all the time.
Oh, but I think the...
The standard was pretty high, too.
It was very...
I mean, there was a lot of dunderheads.
Oh, God, no.
Some of the writing in car journalism,
I still, to this day, will hold it up against any other form
of specialised journalism in travel writers.
Yeah.
Not many.
Food writers.
Well, now Adrian's gone.
You know, not many.
Like, Charles is pretty good.
Okay, so food gets a few people.
But motoring journalism probably had...
Back, I don't know about now, but back there,
probably 30 very good writers.
I mean, Car Magazine was bloody well written.
Yeah.
It really was you and Mel and Leonard and George and Phil.
And James could write, actually.
Yeah, very good.
And James May's a good writer.
He is.
So that was six.
And Gavin Green can write.
Yeah.
Even when he writes about tread shuffle,
which I've never understood.
There was a caption in Car Magazine of the second-gen MR2.
And it was cornering.
And it said, MR2, cornering, colon, note the tread shuffle.
The picture was this big.
Now, I got a magnifying glass out.
And then I started to think, what the bloody hell's tread shuffle?
And to this day, we used to joke about it.
And right through to the end of the Grand Tour was,
he'd be driving on this terrible piece of road in Zimbabwe going,
any tread shuffle to report?
And it was a Gavin Green.
A green piece of that.
But again, another good writer.
And by any standards, good writer.
Not just a good car journalist.
Yeah.
A good journalist, full stop.
Yeah, I think the lack of it was that the readers were pretty discerning.
And also the…
And the competition was huge.
The competition was huge.
And also the cars were pretty plentiful, weren't they?
You know, you could get what you needed.
It was good.
And they did evoke a reaction.
All cars did then.
Even, you know, like an Opel Manta.
Well, you know, you go, oh, wow, what's that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's HS or something.
You've got something to get your teeth into here.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you reckon there's to look forward to?
In the world of cars?
Yeah.
Oh, God, I mean, it's a despair.
I mean, stick the bongs aside.
Do you feel that there's a…
We're still…
We still see progress or…
I don't…
You very rarely see a…
You very rarely see a government take a nibble of your freedom and then give it back again.
Yeah, this is…
Matthew says this stuff.
Once it's gone, it doesn't tend to return, does it?
You very rarely see a government going, let's give everyone a bit more freedom.
They don't.
They take a bit and then that's, you know, the wall goes there and then they'll take a bit more.
So, I mean, somebody once said, might have been you, that if the motor car had been invented today,
no government in the world would allow…
Ordinary citizens to drive it.
Yeah.
Which is true.
Doctors might be able to.
The army would be able to have.
Yeah.
But they'd say, what, you want to drive this 150 mile an hour two-ton box?
You?
No.
Not a chance.
And I think that they're sort of clawing it back.
So, self-driving cars, I don't see the point of them.
Just can't understand them at all.
And if they could invent a robot that could fetch my slippers,
well, I believe that they can invent a car that can negotiate that roundabout.
We'll see.
I don't see that they probably will come.
We still hope for the best.
You know, one of the things we're always going on about is that if you…
There's a whole crop of cars now that if you park them nose to tail,
it's very difficult to tell one from the next.
But we still hope for…
Well, we can all hope because otherwise it's all a bit tragic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, the truth of the matter is that BYD Seal 6 thing that I drove…
Yeah.
…was remarkably cheap for the size it was and the equipment it comes with.
Yeah, well made.
Yeah.
And, yeah, I'm sure it's very well made.
And you look at China and BYD's gone from nothing,
well, I've heard of three, four years ago,
to becoming just gigantic, bigger than Tesla.
It's just huge in no time at all.
And they will dominate.
And the Chinese, if you look at the interest in car makers,
they'll be in Ferrari, Aston, Bentley, Rolls.
Their sales were in free fall now in China.
Aston, I think, have pulled out of China completely, as I understand.
Yes.
No, you're wrong.
So they're really suffering there.
They've got tariffs in America.
Yeah.
There's a whiff of socialism all around Europe.
You know, it's just slightly not the done thing to be driving a fancy car anymore.
And if you take the fancy cars out of the equation,
the ones that interest us,
and you're left with Volkswagen Touaregs…
Yeah.
Well, Volkswagen…
Volkswagen is not in a million years going to be able to compete with,
you know,
Yeah.
…Bealy and BYD.
Not in a million years.
They don't have access to the cobalt.
They don't have access to the raw materials that they need.
They don't have…
They've got styling and heritage.
And that's no match for half the price and…
No.
…a drone in a pod on the roof.
Oh, you're right.
So it fills me with despair.
And then I look at that Citroen thing,
and you just can't help but think,
it's the time coming when you go to London on a train,
you get out, you get into that little Citroen suitcase car,
whatever it's called.
Yes, Ami, yeah.
You know, the little tiny thing that looks the same going forwards and backwards.
And if it had some self-driving capability
and it would take you to wherever you wanted to go and drop you off,
I can see a world where that might happen.
Mind you, we had a story last week about a bloke who improved the…
Sorry, increased the power of one of those from eight horsepower
to 80 horsepower.
I've seen one going around the corner.
It's not Los Herpins in Monaco, but it's the road going out of Monaco.
Yeah.
And it's going around the corner incredibly quickly.
It must be going down the hill and simply rolls it.
It's just hilarious to watch.
Yeah, that must have been a laugh.
Yeah.
What were you thinking of trying to get around that corner at that speed?
When you…
One of the things that I…
I kind of can't imagine what it's like to be in your position,
but one thing I wonder is whether…
Have you ever been tempted to get involved in some sort of car manufacturer
or sponsor some young racing driver or any motoring connections
or is it the farming that's taken over, really?
Well, it certainly has on a day-to-day basis.
I wouldn't sponsor a racing driver.
I wouldn't know what I was doing in that world at all.
I enjoy watching Formula One and much the same as I'm sure everybody watching does,
but I wouldn't…
I wouldn't presume to be able to offer any advice or anything to anybody.
Yeah.
And car manufacturing.
No, no, no.
God, no.
I don't know how you make a car.
No, I mean, listen, I'm personally happy to drive cars.
Yeah.
Are you going to keep on reviewing them?
I think so.
We like that there's a constituency.
Because you do sound different to everybody else.
Everybody else.
Yeah, well, Ray Hutton's still with us, you know.
Yeah, but he's not reviewing cars.
No, I know he isn't because I nicked his job.
All that 40 years ago, but…
Yeah.
No, I tried to switch in COVID when we couldn't review cars
to writing about farming instead.
Yeah.
And then, obviously, when COVID was over
and I could go back to writing about cars,
quite a few people said, oh, don't, you know…
But the truth is, this time of year, I can't review farming because…
No.
It's still raining.
It's still raining.
So, yeah, and I do quite…
It's exactly as you were saying, Ali.
You sit down and think, oh, God, I've got a column to write.
And then you actually love writing it.
Yeah.
How do you pick the cars to review?
Nick Rufford does.
He keeps sending me the occasional electric one.
I just keep sending it back going, there's no point.
I don't know what it is.
I'm not interested.
But presumably, there's a, you know, there must be times when you sort of think,
I quite fancy a go in the new Ranger Evo or something.
No, I'm often quite surprised because if you don't read car magazines,
which I don't anymore.
Just forgive me, but I read farming magazines.
So, you read Farmers Weekly?
I do.
And Farmers Guardian.
Some of it's still way above my head,
but I'm picking up more and more as each day goes by.
But it surprises me sometimes when a car comes.
That thing came the other day.
Absolutely hideous BMW electric one.
Not an iX.
A great big i60.
Oh, XM?
I'm not sure.
It's a great big electric BMW.
See, I can't even tell you what it's called.
It was quite snazzy inside.
Yeah, yeah.
But, God, it was ugly.
But I had no clue that they'd launched it.
You know, we used to go on car launches twice a week.
Are they still happening, those cars?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, I'm up on tomorrow.
Is it mostly...
He's in Morocco tomorrow morning.
It's a mix of old school journalists and influencers
all competing for the same audience.
Aren't influencers incredibly annoying?
Or are they all right?
Some of them are okay, yeah.
Because we're all talking cars to the same people.
Because, you know, because autocars are on all the social channels
and YouTube and everything as well.
So I suppose we're all...
So what's being launched in Morocco tomorrow?
Audi RS5.
RS5?
Yeah, which is a plug-in.
Now it's a plug-in hybrid.
So it's...
And, of course, they've got the new naming,
which you may not know if you don't...
They've decided that the even numbers were going to be electric
and odd numbers were going to be combustion.
But they've changed their mind.
But the RS5 is effectively...
There's effectively a new RS4.
So it's got flared wheel arches.
It's got flared wheel arches.
It's got a V6.
It's plug-in hybrid.
And it's 2.3 tonnes.
And the boot is smaller because it's got a battery
and it's only got a 46-litre fuel tank.
So it's got a lot of work to do to be a thing.
2.3 tonnes for an Audi RS5?
Yeah, yeah.
Which is really an RS4.
And then people say,
why are there so many potholes?
It's because everybody's car is a tonne and a half.
No, they blame you.
They blame you because of your sort of 12-tonne tractor.
Yeah, that can chew it up.
Well, I tried to put a farm truck in and the council said no.
Yeah.
So we do have to use the road.
But no, it's the weight of the cars is not helping.
No, no.
They are far too heavy.
And also, it's very difficult to enjoy.
I mean, a Bentayga, you know,
when it's certainly that massive,
you think, I'm in control of something really quite heroic here.
But then when you drove, I drove that Eagle GTR,
lightweight GTR the other day.
God, it was 995 kg.
Wow.
Oh, something else.
Around here?
Yeah.
Did you drive?
How are the potholes?
Must have been...
I know where they are.
I mean, sometimes you get caught out,
but I do know where the nasty ones are.
Yeah, yeah.
And again, that was absolutely pissing with rain.
And I wrote about this in the Sunday Times at the weekend.
One of the happiest moments I've had in motoring in a number of years,
I've had in motoring in a number of years,
I've had in motoring in a number of years,
and it was a horrible day, horrible, wet, cold day.
And I was driving through Chalbury,
a village just not far from here.
And there was a really old man coming along,
shuffling along, and he sort of bent over double.
And he saw the E-Type.
I mean, he probably didn't know it was an E-Corp,
but as far as he was concerned, it was an E-Type.
And he stood up straight and beamed.
He absolutely beamed, standing like this, like, wow.
And that brought such joy.
And then so many people wrote into the paper saying,
why didn't you give him a lift?
But if you knew Chalbury, he's heading that way,
I'm going that way down a very narrow one-way street.
And I've got Lisa with me.
So where he was supposed to go, I have no idea.
Yeah.
But it was, that made me, it was a great moment.
Because you think every way you go in a nice car,
you tend to get cool names.
Not necessarily very nice names.
It was so nice to see somebody genuinely, genuinely, genuinely,
just made so happy.
You just know he'd be going home to wherever he lives and say,
you won't believe what I've just seen.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
It was a really nice moment, actually.
Yeah.
Sounds amazing.
Yeah.
Brilliant.
Really nice moment.
Yeah.
And I don't think you get that in a modern supercar,
which you do in a, in a, in a nice resto mod.
I think people think much more kindly towards it.
They definitely, it's like, you know,
we all have experienced this.
You definitely don't get let out of side junctions in a Porsche
as much as you do in, I mean,
it's noticeably different when you're nosing out of a junction in a Porsche.
You're going to be there a lot longer than if you were in a Renault 5.
Yeah.
Have you owned a Porsche?
Hmm?
Have you owned a Porsche?
No.
I sort of rather took up against James and Richard on that one.
They love the 911, so it was sort of my duty to not love it.
Even though, actually, I think they're pretty good cars.
Yeah.
Lisa really wants one.
Richard claims that his 911 got him
the job on Top Gear.
No, no, it was him being funny got him the job.
I thought it was ridiculous, a left-hand drive 911 SC.
Honestly, terrible, rusty old heat.
I mean, it demonstrated that he was, you know.
Committed, yeah.
Yeah, committed, that's for sure.
I just thought it was a Beetle.
Anyway, no, he was funny, and that's the main reason.
That's the most important thing you can be.
Yes.
Well.
Yeah, Jeremy Carlson.
Great.
Thanks very much for your time.
Thanks a lot.
It's nice to sit and talk about cars.
It is.
The opportunity.
Well, any time you like.
Do you talk about cars much?
We do.
Harry Metcalf, that's about it.
Yeah.
Now, Harry and I will sometimes find a quiet corner.
And actually, there's some other people around here.
Anthony Blanford doesn't mind a bit of a natter about cars.
Yeah.
Well, he loves them, doesn't he?
Yeah, he does.
You know, you can find...
And it's funny, this Alfa Romeo day that we have a rebrand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just invites only.
And it's quite funny how many people you just, I didn't know.
And they turn up.
It's not like an HC.
And you go, Christ, where have you been hiding that?
Well, I think these days, you've got to be careful who you reveal such things to, don't
you?
Yeah.
Because I mean, I bought this Ford Raptor Ranger.
Matt had an orange Ford Ranger Raptor as a long-termer because he wanted to be a long-term
car.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, the big engine engine.
I loved them.
The football vertical.
You know, the big ones.
You know, you can'tiforn your rearwards that well, you know, large pickup.
Yeah.
I know.
And it's a good one.
Caleb's got on.
And I…
Caleb's brother, I should say, has got one.
I bought this thing.
And, of course, at my age, you know, you go around and...
Everybody's got a Toyota Prius except you.
So, wherever you go, you have to apologise for this damn car.
Yeah.
And yet, we love it.
It's great.
Brilliant.
They are.
I mean, they're sort of terrible, but they make you feel another quite good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's terrible but fantastic.
needed a new car because her old Range Rover was getting a bit tired and I said to her okay well
look we get a lot of different cars through the farm what what sort of car would you like she went
well I really like that Ford Ranger Raptor but I think she meant the American one the F-150
massive job yeah left hand drive last one yeah just it was insane and it was electric
guys so an electric F-150 she said I love the Lamborghini Urus or a Vauxhall Astra
what she said we had a perfectly boggled two litre Astra love that car I love that car
so I nearly got away with buying her an Astra and she would have been absolutely
but I thought you know when we do these comparison tests so I'm rabbiting on but
when you do comparison tests in car magazines we've all
done that
over the years and we go you know sort of this or this but in reality Lisa's choosing between
an electric F-150 a Lamborghini Urus or a Vauxhall Astra and she's going I wonder which one's best
yeah yeah I think she's got another Range Rover whether she likes it or not because I
sometimes oh she's probably gonna like it isn't she no no we've had it for a year now
I mean I nick it all the time yeah I can remember setting off many years ago I had a short period
when I was a three-year-old and I was a three-year-old and I was a three-year-old and I was a
three-year-old and I was a three-year-old and I was a three-year-old and I set off to buy a Fiat Uno and came back with a Jaguar sorry Daimler double six there you go that's exactly what I'm on about that's exactly what I'm on about it's yeah yeah all the should I get Uno or double six
let's do those in car magazines this week we are comparing the Uno and this rather tired old Jack
yeah with the holes in the floor yeah that's great
well look thanks so much for having me on the show and I'll see you next time
you're looking very well well I'm hanging on you know I'm glad the let's hope for some clear days
hey you could do without the rain yeah well we're supposed to be it's supposed to be coming well we
got another week or two but yeah it needs to stop in pretty soon to it feels to dry what will
look what's the next farming phase and drilling okay and that and you'd still there's still time
to do that on yeah spring crop the spring crops spring crops spring crops spring crops spring crops
and they didn't need to be in now and we have planted we've gone as late as April planting it's
not very good you don't want to be doing that but um yeah we'll see we'll see I say I'm still
learning I've only been doing it what we're doing seventh year this year yeah that's one of the
things that you you're probably uh aware of this but the farmers are delighted with what this
program has done yeah because they well it's because the only type of farming you ever saw
something you know somebody with a little plot of land and a nice little lamb and a yeah great
growth of vegetables yeah and this was a this is a proper full-on Farm yes you know you're dealing
with all the problems they are so it was nice for them to have somebody representing their
corner yeah now I'll take you later think of the years you drive along there's a hedge and
on the other side of it oh God knows what's going on it could be anything yes and now we're on the
other side of it going I don't know what I'm doing here right well yeah thanks again really
nice absolute pleasure thanks very much thanks for joining us uh Steve thank you mate oh it was
great wasn't it all right Jeremy was so interesting I thought yeah yeah it's nice to talk cars I think
yes it's funny isn't it um I got the feeling that he he sort of almost uh um didn't want to
stop yeah yeah um so thanks for listening you can find us over at autocar.co.uk we're at the
magazineshop.com if you want access to the full hundred and thirty one year
archive we're on YouTube we're on the newsstand so it has been weekly since 1895.
um thanks to our sponsor Anderson if you visit anderson-ev.com you can see their full range
of British designed engineered and built Chargers that come with a seven-year warranty
and very fancy looks on the outside too thanks dude good on you mate see you next time
I'll see you next time
howdy howdy ho and welcome to fantasy fan fellas I'm Hayden producer of the fantasy
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About this episode
Jeremy Clarkson shares his candid views on modern cars, expressing frustration with the overcomplicated technology and lack of character in new models. He cherishes older vehicles like his 18-year-old Range Rover for their simplicity and ruggedness, especially for farm use. Clarkson discusses his enduring passion for cars despite the industry's shift towards electric vehicles, which he remains skeptical about, emphasizing the importance of engine sound and soul. The conversation also touches on memorable motoring journalism, the challenges of reviewing new cars, and the nostalgic appeal of classic models.
active safety features
Alfa Romeo
convertible
Cosworth
EV
firing order
Formula One
inheriting cars
mid engine supercar
plug‑in hybrid
Audi A2
Audi RS4
Audi RS5
Bentley Bentayga
Byd Seal
Cadillac V16
Chevrolet Monte Carlo
Fiat Uno
Ford Cortina
Ford F-150
Ford GT
Ford Mustang
Ford Ranger
Honda CRX
Jaguar E-Type
Lamborghini Revuelto
Lamborghini Urus
Land Rover Range Rover
Lexus LFA
Mercedes-Benz CLK
Nissan GT-R
Opel Astra
Porsche 911
Renault 4 CV
Renault 5
Renault 5 E-Tech Electric
Toyota Camry
Toyota Hilux
Toyota MR2
Toyota Prius
Volkswagen Golf
Volkswagen Scirocco
Volkswagen Touareg
Volvo P1800
Original notes
On the latest episode of the Autocar podcast My Week In Cars Steve Cropley and Matt Prior talk to Jeremy Clarkson, the world's most famous motoring journalist. He was the star of Top Gear, The Grand Tour and countless other motoring programmes and books, and is still a motoring correspondent for the Sunday Times.
And the three of them talk cars. Lots of cars, from the Ford Cortina and Toyota Hilux to the Lexus LFA and Ferrari F355, and everything in between. They talk the cars Clarkson has owned, driven, and would still like to own. Have we had 'peak car'? Would he buy an EV? Does he like classics or restomods? For answers to all this and more, discussed with traditional Clarkson style and humour, do tune in.
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