Car
Proton Gen 2
The Proton Gen-2 is a small, budget-friendly car from Malaysia that people remember for its different look. It’s talked about because it was a popular choice for those looking for an affordable vehicle.
Car
Proton Satria GTI
The Proton Satria GTI is a small, sporty car made by a company from Malaysia. It's designed to be fun to drive and is popular among people who like fast cars.
Car
Nissan Cedric
The Nissan Cedric is a large car made by Nissan, mostly sold in Japan. It's known for being comfortable and often has nice features.
Car
Ford Capri
The Ford Capri is a classic car that many people loved in the past. The '1.6L' means it has a 1.6-liter engine, which is a measure of how big the engine is.
Car
Skoda Favorit
The Skoda Favorit is a small car made by the Czech company Skoda. It was popular in the late 1980s and early 1990s for being affordable and practical.
Car
Opel Astra
The Opel Astra is a small car that’s easy to drive and good on fuel. People like it because it’s practical for everyday use and often comes at a reasonable price.
Car
Gm Sierra
The GMC Sierra is a big truck that can carry heavy loads and is great for work or outdoor activities. People like it because it's tough and can be customized for different needs.
Car
Vauxhall Cavalier
The Vauxhall Cavalier is a car that many families in the UK used to drive. It was known for being reliable and not too expensive.
Car
Ford Mondeo
The Ford Mondeo is a type of car that is bigger than a compact car but smaller than an SUV. It's often used by families because it has a lot of space inside.
Car
Rover SD1
The Rover SD1 is a luxury car that was made in the UK. It was popular among business people because it was comfortable and stylish.
Car
Mercedes-Benz C-Class
The Mercedes-Benz C-Class is a luxury car that provides comfort and style. It's known for its high-quality interior and smooth driving experience.
Car
BMW 3 Series
The BMW 3 Series is a well-known car that combines sportiness with luxury. It's often praised for its driving experience and quality.
Car
Audi A4
The Audi A4 is a stylish and comfortable car that offers good performance and many features. It's a popular choice for those looking for a luxury vehicle.
Car
Vauxhall Insignia
The Vauxhall Insignia is a family car that provides good space and comfort. It's a practical choice for those needing a reliable vehicle.
Car
Ford Granada
The Ford Granada is an older car that people remember for being very comfortable to drive. It’s often talked about because it was popular in its time and has a classic look.
Car
BMW 5 Series
The BMW 5 Series is a luxury car that is designed for comfort and performance. It's been around for many years and is known for being a great choice for people who want a nice car that drives well.
Car
BMW 7 Series
The BMW 7 Series is the most luxurious car that BMW makes. It's designed for comfort and has a lot of high-tech features, making it a favorite among those who want a top-of-the-line vehicle.
Car
Hyundai Ionic 5
Car
Ioniq 5
The Ioniq 5 is a new electric car from Hyundai. It's designed to be stylish and has a lot of new technology, like fast charging and a long driving range on a single charge.
Car
Peugeot 4008
The Peugeot 4008 is a small SUV that looks nice and is easy to drive around the city. It’s not as popular as some other SUVs, but it has a unique style.
Car
Audi 100
The Audi 100 Avant is a type of car that combines the features of a sedan and a wagon, making it great for families or carrying larger items. It was popular in the past for its comfort and space.
Term
spacers
Spacers are parts that help make the wheels of a car wider apart. This can help the car handle better and feel more stable when driving.
Car
Ford Sierra
The Ford Sierra is another car made by Ford that came out in the 1980s. It was designed to be more modern and had a unique shape that helped it go faster.
Car
Mercury Merkur
The Mercury Merkur was a car brand that sold cars in the U.S. during the 1980s. These cars were based on models from Europe and were designed to look and drive differently than typical American cars.
Car
Mercury Scorpio
The Mercury Scorpio is a car that was made by the Mercury brand, which was part of Ford. It was available in the late 1980s and early 1990s and had some interesting features for its time.
Car
Maruti 800S
The Maruti Suzuki 800 is a tiny car that many people in India used to drive because it was cheap and easy to maintain. It’s remembered fondly for helping a lot of families get their first car.
Car
Volkswagen Arteon
The Volkswagen Arteon is a car that looks great and has a lot of space inside. It's a mix between a hatchback and a sedan, which means it has a sporty design but is also practical for everyday use.
Term
hatchback
A hatchback is a type of car that has a back door that opens up, which makes it easier to put things in the trunk. It's a popular design because it's practical and gives you more space.
Car
Volkswagen Passat
The Volkswagen Passat is a family car that offers a lot of space for passengers and luggage. The newest model is only available as a station wagon, which is great for carrying more stuff.
Car
Land Rover Range Rover
The Range Rover is a fancy SUV that can drive on tough terrains like mud and rocks, but it also has a lot of comfortable features inside. People talk about it because it's both stylish and capable of handling rough conditions.
Car
Range Rover Velar
The Range Rover Velar is a high-end SUV made by Land Rover. It's known for being stylish and packed with modern features.
Concept
all electric
An 'all electric' car runs only on electricity and doesn't use any gas. This means it doesn't produce pollution from a tailpipe, making it better for the environment.
Concept
Formula 1
Formula 1 is a type of car racing where the fastest cars compete in races called Grands Prix. It's known for its exciting speed and famous drivers.
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Restrictions apply, select Plans Only.
I'm Richard Porter.
I'm Johnny Smith.
And this is On the Other Side of Things, the Smith & Sniff spinoff in which we answer your
questions.
Hello.
Here we are again.
Hi.
But usually we're in the same room, slightly echo-y, but I hope that's not too annoying.
Answering some questions, I'm going to start with this one, which is from a listener
called Eddie.
God, no small chat with you.
Straight into a question.
I'm all business.
Well, you are, aren't you?
Because we are in a conference room.
That's what it is, isn't it?
Yeah.
Because I'm just, I'm feeling all bosnous-like.
Eddie says, just listen to Springtime, which was Monday's episode.
Thrilled to hear you've got a spring, Richard, and to join the Datcha fold.
I'm a fellow Datcha enthusiast, Brackett's jogger.
And I think they're knocking it out of the park at the moment, along with their
barren company.
It's almost like a rank.
Jogger.
So I'm very much like a sort of...
You're a rookie.
Yeah, rookie.
Yeah.
But jogger, he's like a, so he's a Lieutenant, I'll say.
Rookie, Spring.
Yeah.
Lieutenant jogger.
Well, what is that?
That's someone drilling next door.
It is, isn't it?
No, it's a coffee machine.
There's a coffee machine.
There's a grinder.
Yeah.
Okay.
Spoiler alert.
We're not at either of our homes.
We're at Great Northern Classic.
Aye.
So Eddie says, I tried a Spring, but it was a bit tight in the back for my
aged slash bulky family members, but would make a great car for two people
slash families with younger kids.
Charming, like you said, in a very OGR4 kind of way.
When we test drove a Spring, however, the example in question
smelled like someone had floated a massive, had floated a massive
curried air biscuit in its compact cabin just seconds prior to us
jumping in.
No.
The eye-watering, so the point where you could almost taste the
naan bread.
And it put us off that lovely little car and a very attractive
PCP deal, which leads me on to a question, what's the smelliest
car?
What's the smelliest car you've test driven and did it put you off
the purchase?
What's the smelliest car?
I get put off when people have too many air fresheners.
Yes.
Because it just raises suspicion from that.
Exactly.
When that all dies down, when those 13 magic trees die down.
Air freshener is a smell designed to hide another smell.
Yeah.
It's like that sort of toilet cleaner that smells of bubblegum.
I think they pubs and clubs use it to hide sick.
I always think that American disinfectant always smells
very sweet and a bit bubblegummy sometimes.
And so it's like just associated with being in an American
airport loo for some reason, although I've been in there
a lot.
An airport in Chandler.
I'm trying to think of a really, because there was once, this is
not a car, well, I suppose it's a car of test driven in a
professional capacity, but I borrowed a Proton Gen 2.
Do you remember those?
I do.
I went on a date in one of those ones.
Did you?
Yeah, it was appalling.
Have you told me that before?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I went on a first or second date in a Proton
Sartria GTI.
I got overtaken by one today.
Did you?
Yeah.
They were quite nice to drive.
Yeah.
They were very nice to drive.
It was a really good fun, but they had those faux Allen key
dimensions.
Yeah.
And my date, because I think we met somewhere, and then I
said, oh, I can give you a lift home.
And when we approached the car, she was a bit like, what's
this?
I had to go.
It's not mine.
It's not mine.
You see, I could tell the tone was a bit.
I'm not having this.
I don't think this speaks of someone I would want to go
on another date with.
Really?
We ended up going out for ages.
So it was okay.
But yeah, Proton Gen 2 had a, and this very one, this is a
brand new-ish car and it's a press car.
So it's been carefully prepped and cleaned and all that.
And it just had a very odd interior aroma like.
Melted plastic.
A bit plasticy, but almost like a, yes, because it had a
sort of synthetic quality, but also a horrible kind of
stale food slash fart quality.
Yeah.
It was all, I remember it being awful.
Like a robot had farted in it.
It was just metallic.
It was metallic guff.
It was genuinely unpleasant.
I remember getting other people going, going in that car,
going in the car and see if there's one thing that
strikes you and everyone would go,
Oh my God, it stinks in there.
And I thought, I know.
I don't, I think it was just something in the
Proton factory was a miss.
Well, someone on the line had terrible ass biscuits.
But surely it was just dealing them out and then
shutting the door of the PDI stage.
But then as a kid, did you ever, I tried to trap
a fart in a jar.
Yeah.
It's difficult.
It's difficult.
And it doesn't really last.
I don't believe that someone could drop one in every
single Proton Gen 2 bound for the UK and that would last.
So it has to be a food stuff or an item.
Yeah.
There's something got into their plastic smoldering
machine and it's, it's rotten food.
But some textiles, I think man made textiles smell
a bit sticky.
Yes.
Definitely.
Because I, one of my jobs when I worked in Nex was
packing deliveries and some stuff would come, you know,
in cellophane, a lot of stuff would come in cellophane
and then you ripped it open.
And just inexplicably some stuff, well clearly because
everything's coming from different factories.
So I guess it's just whatever factory it was that
these sort of probably chenille jumpers are a
lot of those.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just absolutely stank.
Yeah.
Some of it smells fishy.
Yes.
I think some cellophane smells fishy.
It's very odd, isn't it?
It's like the way that I always think, maybe they don't
anymore, but we don't really have the same sort of, but
old fashioned hi-fi equipment used to smell a bit of
bean sprouts to me.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Just sticking those in the grill of like a Sony amp or
something like that.
Yeah.
A piece of digital brains bean sprouts.
What's that all about?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you know why I, it's not answering the
question.
What I would say is that this comment is going to
render the question null and void because it's not
an answer.
The best smelling car I own.
Oh, yeah.
Best smelling car.
Yeah.
As inconsistently best, I have never really used
any cleaning products on it to change the
borne smell of it.
Yeah.
Is my Tokyo taxi.
Oh.
It smells so nice.
And I don't understand why.
I've been in that car, but I can't.
It just smells really.
You can't really remember smells, can you?
It's just not something we're capable of as
humans, I think.
It's a.
Remember smell.
Remember smell.
I sort of dispute that because sometimes if I think
of a really bad smell, I feel like sort of
psychosomatically you go, oh, not that.
Oh God.
That time I accidentally sniffed a dead
squirrel or something.
The other Nissan Cedric I owned, which was
the one that I've told the story about
many a time when I kind of got stuck in
knotting them once on a Sunday.
Basically.
He's basically stuck in.
The train times were so spaced out and
inconvenient for me that out of minor
rage, I just went and bought a car to drive
home in.
And this was two thousand and four.
I just picked up the yellow paper from a
corner shop and just flicked through for
you know, what's less than 500 quid,
what we got.
And it was this Nissan Cedric that was
one owner, elderly person who passed
away and the family was selling it.
And I just phoned up and went, is it for sale?
And he went, yeah.
He went, but I've got to warn you.
And I went, okay.
He said it's in really good condition.
It drives beautifully.
But dad loved Spaniels.
Oh.
And I got in there, got to the car
and I opened the door and it was
just, it was like pressing your nose
on a dog's anus.
You know when you put the heating on
too high in a car?
Yeah.
It's too something that's very
musty and undesirable.
And it will not go.
It's so thick.
Yeah.
It attacks your nose hairs.
Yeah.
It was that.
I aired that car.
I parked it in a warm garage with the
windows down and actually, you know,
wet clean seats and everything.
And the guy did say to me when I
bought the car, because I did
haggle it a bit.
He said, I've cleaned it twice
and I still can't, I just cannot
get the smell out.
Dad just loved these Spaniels.
Let them do whatever they want
in the car.
And then so how long did you have
the Cedric for?
Well, I needed, I had the Cedric
for about, I was going to keep it
for about a month, but I ended
at keeping it for about four
months.
But did you drive it or was it
too Spanially?
No, it was alright.
I drove it with the windows
cracked.
Yeah.
And it was a manual.
It was a 2.4 manual.
Bloody hell.
Yeah.
Now it's probably a really rare
car.
Interesting that Cedric's
almost bookend your car smell
experience.
Yeah, I know.
Weird.
Yeah.
And my mate F who his parents
next door neighbor when he was
learning to drive had an orange
Capri 1.6L I think it was.
And one day this, this old,
there's an old chap and he
loved tabs as well.
He was a heavy smoker.
Oh yes, you did tell me about it.
But he was talking to my
mate's dad one day and he just
went, I'm guessing a new car.
I've ordered one of those
Skoda Favorets.
It's arriving next week.
Does your lad want my Capri?
My mate's dad was like, how much
do you want for it?
No, no, he can have it.
He can have it.
The dealer doesn't want it as
a trading.
So I just want a shot of it.
He can have it.
I know he's learning to drive.
He can have that.
And it was a one owner car?
I don't know.
It had.
It was in good condition?
No, it was all right.
It had sort of tide mark up
the, you know, they'd had to
black over the sills with
rust proofing.
So it had some work.
It was not immaculate by any
means.
But you know, free car.
Free.
And orange.
Yeah.
And I don't know why but
the old, the old chapter sort of
handed over the keys to my mate's
dad one day and he sort of drove
it off that driver, drove it onto
his drive.
And I think my mate rang the
house and went, have you got
the car?
And my friend's real name is
Mark.
And his dad went, Mark, the
only way you're driving that
car is naked.
It's like, what on you?
It smells so bad.
You'll ruin any clothes that
you're wearing.
It's like, it was so, so they
just left it on the drive
with the doors open for
sort of like a whole weekend
and packed it out and did all
sorts and it was still and it
was, they made it better but it
was, it was always musty that
car.
But you know, free car.
I was going to say free car.
Yeah.
Free car.
Should we move on to the
question?
Yeah, we'll answer some natural
questions I guess.
I've got one.
Here, this one is from somebody
called Flynn.
Flynn Gathacol.
What a great name.
That is a good name.
I hope this email finds you
within all the funny anecdotes
sent in by my fellow listeners.
Well, look, listen,
this is a good question.
I understand there's not the
usual email you receive.
However, I thought it's an easy
way to contact two encyclopedias
of automotive journalism.
I'm studying automotive
engineering at Loughborough
University and I'll be
graduating in the summer of
next year.
I'm just checking he sent this
recently.
Very recently.
He's not an elderly.
This is from 1986.
That's no good.
I'm just unsure at the
moment if engineering is the
route I want to go down.
I'd love to be able to get
within the world of automotive
writing slash journalism.
I'm just not sure where to start
as each magazine seems to be
run by a bigger company,
making it difficult to email
them directly.
Should I start by emailing
editors?
I know this is probably far too
dull to be discussed on
Otisart.
No, it's not Flynn.
No.
But I'm just looking for
any advice.
Love the work.
Each time I listen,
I end up scaring the web
for another piece of tat
to drain my student loan
even further than my
Brara is already doing.
Oh.
Brara student.
Brara student.
Wow.
Good work.
Well, CMTMB.
Cheers mate.
Thanks mate.
By Flynn.
Well, I get asked this
a reasonable amount,
and I'm sure you do.
Yeah.
About automotive writing.
It's a difficult one
because the world of media
has definitely changed
significantly since I started.
Yes.
And you started.
And that's not to say that
journalism,
written journalism is dead
or anything like that.
But I want to say,
and I have said in the past
and I don't know if this is
right or not.
So, you know,
give me a dry slap
if you don't agree.
But I think the best thing
would be to do
is to go into PR.
Oh.
OK.
Automotive PR.
OK.
So you get to be
in the industry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's true.
And you will get to
write things
and you will get to be
creative.
I suppose you write
press releases and stuff.
You have to write
what you will.
You'll get involved
in large launches
and international stuff.
You get to travel probably.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
I was going to say, yeah.
I mean, obviously you have
to deal with absolute
knobheads like us.
You have to deal with
a lot of flutes.
Yeah.
Which is a shame.
But that's not every day.
Well, I suppose
it depends how
people are emailing you
and asking banal questions.
But, yeah.
So is Flynn
thinking he wants
to just not do engineering
and would rather do
automotive journalism?
Yeah.
Automotive writing.
I would,
I would say,
unless you absolutely
hate the engineering stuff,
keep at it.
And I would,
I know this sounds
unhelpful.
I've not made
what you want to hear,
but I would try
and get a job in
automotive engineering.
Yeah.
But try
and write
when you can
and you'll spare time.
Even if it's just for yourself
because the more you write
the better you get at it.
Practice makes you better.
Yeah.
And learning disciplines,
like go, right,
I'm going to write,
I don't know,
a thousand words about this
or 2,000 words
or whatever it is.
Yeah.
And try and hit that target
because it's a good discipline
and anyone commissioning
work from you,
certainly for print,
such as it is these days,
we'll thank you for it.
But even,
you know, web people,
they don't want
thousands,
thousands of words.
It's got to be concise
and it's a really good exercise
of self-editing yourself.
But I would do that
in your spare time
and
if you have things
you're happy about,
you can start sending them out there.
But what I think,
the experience within
actual automotive engineering
makes you more employable
as a writer.
Yes.
Because you have some actual knowledge
which let's be honest,
most car journalists
and I include myself in that
don't have that
actual nuts and bolts knowledge.
I quite often,
if I'm writing something
vaguely technical,
I'll run it past
some actual engineers
I know to make sure
that I'm not talking
out my arse
because I don't
have that experience
and I don't have
that degree in engineering.
And I think
if you do,
that makes you attractive.
If you can then also
communicate
your knowledge
in a really accessible way
then you are
way more employable
than just
some twatter like me
who's got a
browsing degree
and wants to
have a go.
You know,
I got very lucky
back in the old days
but things have changed
as Johnny says.
So, yeah,
I know that's not
entirely helpful
but I just think also
But also,
you don't know where
your engineering journey
might take you
because you might start
off doing
drier stuff
but you might soon
change the points
on the track
and go off down another route
and if you're able to
articulate
the engineering processes
to a different audience
then you might find
you get hold
of a really interesting
career path
within it
and there are
I said this
to my kids quite recently
there are so many more
jobs
than you ever realise
in each discipline
like you leave school
and you've got no idea
how many different
thousands of jobs
there are
within the sphere
that you're interested in.
Yeah, I sometimes feel that
like if I'm on a motorway
or something
or just walking through a town
and it's like
what does everyone do?
What's everyone doing here?
Well, they're dealing drugs
and they're vaping.
Okay.
They're running a vape
they're hiding their
they're hiding their
XL bully.
The thing is
I also feel like
AI
is
coming for writing.
I don't think it'll usurp it
and we've discussed
AI before
and how generative AI
is a load of fucking shit.
Don't mince your words.
And it can never be
truly innovative
because it's just
regurgitating everything
is ingested.
So hopefully
there is still a place
for human beings.
However
I suspect
AI is also
in engineering already
I'm sure
and will be used
increasingly so
but perhaps
in a more sympathetic way
where it is used
as a time-saving device
the way that
the first computers were
they just speed up the processes.
Yeah.
But the human beings
are less
easy to usurp there.
I wouldn't trust
a fucking aeroplane
that had been engineered by AI.
No, and it's like
we use it
to
to rapid
fast track
the prototyping
things like crash test synthesis.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
You do a number of things
on the computer before
you get a physical car
to hit a wall.
Yeah.
Which is already going on
I mean that's been going
over years.
I suppose
AI will just
enhance that process.
So
but I feel like
there is less chance
of your job being
totally replaced.
I'm sure some will
because I just need
fewer people because
everything will happen faster
with more computing power
but
it seems like
it's a really solid
thing to lean on.
Yeah.
Having an engineering degree.
It is actually.
More so than
I just
quite like
writing which is
what has
basically carried me.
And there's a shortage
of engineers
every time I speak to
the UK is a massive
engineering hub anyway.
And
they're crying out for engineers.
So
I would say yeah
you're right.
I think Richard's answer is
probably the best answer
is do it
but also
try and lean into it
whilst you're doing it
and you never know
where it'll take you.
I used to
when I was
working in a shop
and hoping
I could get a job there
who might involve
writing for a living.
I used to
write shit to
send to my friends
like made up
newspaper articles
and all sorts of
it was actually
inadvertently quite good
apps
just doing something
over and over again
because without you
even realizing
you're just getting better
at it and
and so
I can only encourage
Flynn to do the same
just keep writing
do it
in your spare time
because
it'll just
help you to
improve
because
no one's perfect
you can always learn
even now
and I've been doing
for bloody years
sometimes I go
I look back at something
I go
I could have done that better
that was no good
because
for whatever reason
you rushed it
you weren't thinking straight
but you'd think
that we would do
better live shows
wouldn't you
better live cast
and yet
no
but don't give up
on the writing Flynn
it's the other thing
because it is
great fun
but I think
also
the brutal truth is
it's hard
particularly starting out
to earn
a living full time
from
writing about cars
to your magazines
and
there are freelancers
but it really helps
in freelancing
if you have a bit of a reputation
you know people
it's obviously hard
to get a foot in the door
freelance rates are
not what they were
I
consider myself
very fortunate
that I
have sort of other stuff
I do in TV
and copywriting
and things like that
because car writing alone
is
not
especially lucrative
much though
it can come
with some other
lovely perks
which is
do PR
kind of thing
yeah solid
safe job
yeah and advertising
skewed role
for the automotive world
but hey
it'd be nice to have car
adverts again
that were actually
informative about the cars
I mean I'm just throwing
that one out there
maybe
alright well no good luck Flynn
let us know
how it goes
but I hope that's
some use
or
near offer
some use
or near offer
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today
okay so
there's a quick one from
a listener called Lewis
who says good day
meet popsicles
while helping my kids
to surf
during the October
half-term
wistfully thinking about
the summer
when two inch
wetsuits
were needed
my mind
wandered
to the recent
recent uplift
in the rising number
of larger hatchbacks
the EV movement
in aerodynamics
they seem to be making
a comeback in cars
larger than the traditional
hatch focus
astra segment
in my youth
Cavalier Sierra
then vector
Mondeo hatches
were everywhere
as well as some
larger exec offerings
like the SD1
they died off for a while
probably around that time
at the time
that finance meant
the A4
3 series and C class
killed off the insignia
and Mondeo
but they're definitely back
so my question
what are your favourite
bigger hatches
of the past
and the present
obviously
no Labrador
headache-inducing
SUV
tossary
please
I think mine are this
smooth Granada
before the blobby
scorpion
I like that
the smooth Granada
smooth
and the first
5 series
GT
built on the bones
of the 7 series
interested to see
which Rover
Richard chooses
CMTMB
Lewis
great question
the new hatchback
I've got to go
straight in with
Ionic 5
high on die
I think Lewis
is talking really
about the fastback
like
so
or does he mean
a hatch
that looks
like a saloon
no I think
he just means one with
a very sloped
tailgate glass
okay
so I don't know
what angle in degrees
but
Ionic 5
I was thinking
in the more
rakeish
hatch area
yes
there's that Peugeot
4008
yes
there's that noise again
it's the coffee machine
someone's gone for a flat
shite
that Peugeot 4008
that's sort of
slightly jacked up
but it's a very
rakeish hatchback
yeah
and I think quite
pleasant looking
seeing around so much
but I like those
that'd be one of my
that'd be my modern
that's the first modern
one that pops to mind
now
just to confound
Lewis's expectations
and because he's already
mentioned it
I was going to say the SD1
but I'm not going to say that
no I keep forgetting
that was a hatch
I'm going to say
as a
I thought I was a very
handsome car
was the
original
Audi 100
Avant
oh so good
so good
I saw one at a car show
recently did you
an exceptionally
exquisite example of the
Mark
it's still a really
handsome thing
yeah
they often seem to be
sort of coppery
orangey colour
yeah for some reason
like they're the only
ones that survived
but they're just
I think they're just
really handsome
they're great
and quite unusual
at the time
sort of
executive stand executive
I do
I do like the smooth
Granada
I do
except
the rear tracks too narrow
it's one of those cars
once you notice it
you go
oh I just need some
spacers on it
yeah
because it's got
Sierra
it's a
sort of
stretched Sierra
but they didn't
widen the track
and so it's too narrow
I told you
my
I do lust one day
to an
ex
which is
is it
but it looks more
Granada than the Sierra
I always think
the Mercure
no there was a
Mercure that was based on
the smooth Granada as well
I think that's the one
that I want
the Mercure
Scorpio
Scorpio
if you're from
Sons of
the Mercure
Scorpio
the Mercure
Scorpio
yes
the XR4ti
was the
Sierra
that's right
yeah
I'd quite like the
Mercure
wants them
well I tell you what
we'll go on a trip
we'll go on like a
like a wildlife expedition
you know like a
Victorian hunters to go
and bag a lion
yes
you're going to go and bag a
Mercure Scorpio
and I'm going to go
and bag a sterling
8 too far
yes
what a road trip
what a road trip
oh
will they make it
no
they're a handsome car
the 800 rover
I think so
more coffee machine
going on
yeah they are
and actually the
the extended
federal spec 800s
yeah
people liked it so much
they ended up sticking
on the Euro cars as well
which never happens
does it
no because it was actually
just gave the front
a bit more of a
handsome chin
it did didn't it
I'm trying to think of
more new
up to date
rakish hatches
oh you rakish hatch
oh you're a rakish hatch
I mean
oh I know
oh no
hang on
is it a saloon
is it the VW Arteon
yes
no that's a hatch
is it a hatch
oh my gosh
they're good looking aren't they
it's one of the best looking
German cars on sale
yeah
and the shooting breaks nice as well
the shooting breaks amazing
I borrowed one
and I felt
like a proper baller in it
it looked great
looking back at it going
that's flipping excellent
if I had that as a company car
I'd be walking around with a semi
I don't think
oh shit
that bloke who sells photocopier
toners here again
you know the one with a
permanent lob on
yeah no it's a great car
I love that
thanks for making it VW
it's stopped to now I have
I can't remember
if it stopped it's
not long stopped
I am funny enough
in a few days I think
I'm borrowing
the latest Passat
I've still not driven
which only comes as an estate
yeah
it's been out for a while
but there's some new trim levels
and so I'm borrowing one of those
but I'm sort of
looking forward to it
looking forward to it
because I believe it will be
the most norm-core car
you can possibly drive
and I sort of mean that
as a compliment
it'll just be
all fine won't it
and it'll be all just
nice
I hope
I've suddenly got an idea
for a
late-break show
feature
that's popped into my head
norm-core cars
norm-core yeah
well anyway there we go
so yeah
I hope that's sort of
that's a good question
that's a good question
and I'm sure
those who are listening
will be gnashing their teeth
going
you forgot to mention that
I've got the
just briefly
I know it's breaking the rule
that Lewis had no SUVs
but
the other day
I encountered
a
camouflage
type of
the next
Range Rover
Velar
yeah
which it's not a massive secret
it's going to be all electric
and it's been
on test
and been papped
for
at least a year more
wearing this really elaborate
disguise
where it's clearly
got a fake
bottom on it
massive
boxy rear end
and it's not boxy
the Velar was always
very curvaceous
but this is going to be fastback
well the other day
I encountered
a test car
in
in the Midlands
and
they started stripping
the disguise off it
I guess because they're getting close
to reveal
and so they just need to
test with that bloody
cardboard and
polystyrene and shit all over
it
and it definitely
was really rake-ish
like it looks
really fastbacked
I'd be intrigued to know
how fastbacked
but I think it's going to be
pretty
slow sort of
not low slung
but certainly have quite
a low glass house
I always like the look
of the original Velar
by original
I mean the
recent one
not the one from the
70s
I remember when they took
the cover off it
they did a good job of
like it didn't leak out
or anything like that
I was always at the
they announced it
at the design museum
in London
and it was a kind of
bloody hell
that's what
it sort of
set a new tone
for
evolution of Land Rover
design
anyway
one more question
yeah
there's one here
from
from Paul Hanson
hi
out of Hanson the Band
well I don't know
does he own the cement company
which is absolutely enormous
Hanson cement
yeah
I don't know
that's probably worth
more than the band
yes they've
been about millions
have definitely
been spent by now
I'm sure
hi
you pair of tin whistles
a few months ago
my wife and I
watched F1 the movie
via a popular streaming
we both enjoyed
a couple of hours
of riseable
yet entertaining nonsense
most notably
the unaccountable presence
of a
sexagenarian racing driver
on the grid
ever since
however
I've been thinking about
the many cameos
from real life
Formula 1 drivers
that are a feature
of the film
specifically
I've been thinking
about which actors
could have been cast
to play the drivers
had the film
not been officially
sanctioned
so far I've come up
Mads Mickelson
is the obvious shoe in the
shoe in
obvious shoe in
to play thin-lipped
Eurovillain
Max Verstappen
oh
while you might be thinking
he's far too old
I would respectfully
point out that
he's Brad Pitt's junior
by two years
next on my list
is Fernando Alonso
I thought hard
about who would be
best to cast
the jolly
curmudgeon
and my thoughts turned
to borderline
national treasure
Geoffrey Palmer
yeah
isn't he alive still
I don't know
I hope he is
because he's tremendous
but also he
now he is very old
he's very old
I mean yeah
okay go on
I'm aware
I'm aware that casting
someone who's been dead
for five years
is pushing it
right
this is an odd letter
okay okay
but I can't think
of anyone better suited
for the role
my question is
who would you cast
to play
Formula 1 drivers
in an Eponius film
and why
they can be current
or past drivers
and after my picks
I suppose
the sentience
of the actor
is unimportant
cheers mate
thanks mate by Paul
if we want it
on looks alone
I think
Fernando Alonso
should be Dave Grohl
and all that
yes
yes
yes
definitely that's
or in fact
a plot point
of the movie
is that
he's played by
Dave Grohl
but part
of the problem
with the movie
is that
there is an imposter
going round
like
doing corporate gigs
and then
nicking loads of oil
from the Helfords and stuff
and that imposter
is played by
Lawrence Vernon Bowen
and they have that
like a meme of two
Spider-Man's
oh yes
Spider-Man
yes and they're both going
huh
yeah
there's a moment
where Lawrence
Vernon Bowen
and Dave Grohl
confront each other
what
that's really good
so that's my
that's my cell there
who would play Jackie Stewart?
what
oh what about Jeanette Cranky?
Scottish
small
uh
obsession with safety
yeah
obsession with safety
don't do it
I'm not sure
um
I'm
I quite like
um
what's he called
he used to race
with David Coulthard
Mika Hakkonen
yes
I'd like Mika Hakkonen
but he's got one of
those faces
where I think
lots of people look
like him
I feel like I see
Mika Hakkonen
every month of my life
really?
yeah
yeah
well so in that
case you could have anyone playing
yeah
there's a
there's a guy near me
who looks like Mika Hakkonen
I see him coming out
of the betting shop
he's sure it's not Mika Hakkonen
I don't know
I have
I've told you
I did actually
walk past Mika Hakkonen
in California once
coming out of a restaurant
that I was going into
yeah
and that was fun
um
because I went
to Mika Hakkonen
I've been told on good authority
that Mika Hakkonen is very funny
see I bet he is
I think he's
I think
I bet he's a witty night out
but he was known as
monosyllabic
and rather sort of
not certainly
but a bit
just a bit serious
well so was Schumacher though
well yes
and he was supposed to be
like a crazy joker
yeah yeah
I've heard
I mean well yeah
he totally ran
with the gag
when we had him
pretend to be the stick
on top gear
which suggested
yeah
he knew what he was doing
yeah
but yeah apparently Hakkonen
really funny but he just
when he was a driver
he was just like
I know what's expected
of Finnish drivers
I'm just going to play the role
and then I have to
put on a show
I just go
yes
no it was not possible
it was just
you know just play it
sullen so
but who would play him
I
ooh
um
actually no
I was
I was
it does
there's someone out there
that looks a lot like
Mika Hakkonen
well apparently there's
people just going to the betting shop
and see if that guy's free
but
yeah it's true
I tell you
I mean
he wears kind of Tesco jeans
yeah
and
like a Tommy Hilfiger
sweaty shirt
is there room for Nigel Mansell
in this film
yeah
if we cast the remaining chuckle
brother just because he's got
the moustache on
yeah
so and he really plays
the Mansell part for laughs
the real Mansell
before he finds deeply annoying
oh what then he's just
yes
yes he's just a
complete joker
that would be
he gives away sandwiches
for no reason
it's never mentioned
he's always carrying a pane of
glass through the
across the pit lane
and things like that
just for the comedy
um
I tell
who else is around
that you'd want to cast
in this film
I just
I don't know now
who
it was Coulthard
because I haven't watched
a film
it was Coulthard
no
um
you put David in it
who would play David
oh um
yeah
and there's a guy in a car
I can see his face
but I can't
think of his name
we're bad at this aren't we
we are bad at this
this is where it's going
here we should have
prepared this one
we don't
anyway
gritty in Scottish
I don't know
can Stott
he could play him
oh yeah
not because he's
he's a bit gritty
but he's Scottish
and I think
he's a great actor
and if we're seeing
we're casting everyone
older than they really are
from a certain angle
unless my eyes have
stopped working
I think that
you who's a scouser
so not Scottish
I think from certain angles
his face could be
David Coulthard
of a certain era
I mean
or are we going on
the big jawline
sort of casting
in which case
I don't know who you'd have
it's got quite a broad face
obviously there needs
also to be able to fit
into some very tight
white jeans
oh yes
authentically so
yeah
um
oh and um
Dickensian shoes
would you
you want Christian
Horner in there
because he's got
good villain potential
very good
Chinese shirt
or Chinese suit jacket
yes he was
this collar
Chinese collar
or one of those
sort of silk
dressing gowns
with a dragon on it
like yes
when he's at home
yeah like a festival
kimono type thing
exactly
yeah
who's playing Horner
because they've got
to give good bell end
basically
oh um
um
the guy from
um
peep show
what's he called
Robert Webb
or the other one
yeah
David Mitchell
yeah
I mean he doesn't look
a great deal like
but I think he could play
with him with a hair piece
he'd play him
he'd play him a slightly
different way
he'd play him as a
yes
or David Walliams
oh David Walliams
because yes
I think
yes
he could do a Horner
couldn't he
well because
I don't find
David Walliams
very likeable
no all funny anymore
all funny
and so he'd be
perfect as Christian
Horner
oh meow
it's time to wrap this up
if you've got a question
for us
hello at smithandsniff.com
is the address
if it's a question
put Ottersot in the
subject line
helps us to find questions
yeah
it's not a question
don't do that
because then it just
confuses us
we are very stupid
and we
will be
back on Monday
with our live show
from Derby
and then we'll have
the questions from that
on the Friday
see you then
bye
cheers guys
bye
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About this episode
Richard and Johnny dive into listener questions, sharing amusing anecdotes about car smells and their experiences with various vehicles. They discuss the charm of Dacia cars, particularly the Spring, and share their thoughts on the smelliest cars they've encountered. The conversation shifts to automotive journalism, with advice for a listener studying engineering who is interested in writing. They also explore the resurgence of larger hatchbacks and share their favorite models, while humorously casting actors for a fictional F1 film. The episode is filled with light-hearted banter and relatable car stories.
Audi 100
Audi A4
BMW 3 Series
BMW 5 Series
BMW 7 Series
Ford Capri
Ford Granada
Ford Mondeo
Ford Sierra 3 Doors
GMC Sierra EV
Hyundai Ioniq 5
Land Rover Range Rover
Land Rover Range Rover Velar
Mercedes-Benz C-Class
Nissan Cedric
Opel Astra
Peugeot 4008
Proton Gen-2
Proton Satria Neo
Skoda Favorit
Vauxhall Insignia VXR Supersport Sedan
Volkswagen Arteon
Volkswagen Passat
Original notes
In this episode of the Smith and Sniff question-answering spin-off show, Jonny and Richard tackle cars that smell bad, getting into car writing for a living, favourite rakish hatchbacks, and casting another F1 movie.
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Smith and Sniff
Jonny Smith and Richard Porter
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