The CG-13 engine is a small engine used in the Nissan Micra that helps the car be efficient and fun to drive.
Car
Nissan K11
The Nissan K11 is a small car model known as the Micra, which was made by Nissan. The 1998 version is part of a generation that was popular for being easy to drive and economical.
An automatic transmission is a system in cars that changes gears for you, so you don't have to do it yourself. This makes driving easier, especially in traffic.
Clutch control is how well a driver uses the clutch pedal in a car with a manual transmission. It helps the driver start and stop smoothly without the car stalling.
A synchro is a part of a car's manual transmission that helps gears shift smoothly. If it's damaged, it can make it hard to change gears, especially when starting from a stop.
Traction control helps your car maintain grip on the road by stopping the wheels from spinning too fast when you accelerate. It makes driving safer, especially on wet or slippery surfaces.
The Paris-Dakar Rally is a famous race that takes place in tough conditions, usually through deserts and rough terrain. It's known for being very challenging for drivers and their vehicles.
The Mangusta is a cool sports car from Italy that was made a long time ago. It's famous for its looks and how it drives, but it's not very common to see one today.
Car
Tesla
Tesla is a car company that makes electric cars, which means they run on batteries instead of gasoline. They are known for their high-tech features and fast acceleration.
A floor pan swap is when you change the bottom part of a car where people sit and where the car's parts are attached. This is done to fit new technology into older cars, like putting electric parts into classic cars.
Car
Volvo
Volvo is a car brand from Sweden that is famous for making safe cars. They produce different types of vehicles, including cars and SUVs, and are known for their strong focus on safety.
The Renault Trafic is a type of van made by Renault, popular for businesses because it has a lot of space for carrying goods. It's designed to be practical and efficient for everyday use.
DPF means Diesel Particulate Filter, which is a part in diesel vehicles that helps clean the exhaust gases to make them less harmful. If there's a problem with it, the vehicle might not run as well and could need repairs.
Limp mode is what happens when your car's computer detects a problem and makes the engine run slowly to avoid damage. It helps you get to a mechanic without causing more issues.
The Ford Crown Victoria is a large car often used by police and taxis. It's known for being tough and reliable, which is why some people like to race them.
Cleetus McFarland is a well-known YouTube personality who makes videos about cars and racing. He hosts events where people can race their cars, making it fun for car enthusiasts.
The Lotus Elan Roadster is a small, lightweight sports car that’s fun to drive. It’s known for being quick and nimble, making it a favorite among people who love driving.
The Lamborghini Espada is a fancy sports car that can fit four people inside. It’s known for being really fast and stylish, making it a special car that many car lovers admire.
The Subaru Impreza is a smaller car that is great for driving in tough weather because it has all-wheel drive. It's also known for being sporty and fun to drive.
The Audi R8 is a fast and stylish sports car that’s fun to drive. It’s known for looking great and performing really well, making it a favorite among car fans.
The TVR Cerbera is a unique British sports car that is very fast and exciting to drive. It has a cool design and is made to be lightweight for better performance.
The Bentley Brooklands is a fancy car made by Bentley, known for being very luxurious and powerful. It has a big V8 engine and is designed for a comfortable ride.
The Buick Gran Sport is a sporty version of a Buick car that was popular in the past. It’s known for being powerful and fun to drive, making it a favorite among car lovers.
Car
Subaru 22B
The Subaru 22B is a special version of a Subaru car made for rally racing fans. It's famous for being fast and is very valuable because only a few were made.
The McLaren P1 is a very fast and expensive sports car that uses both gas and electric power to go really fast. It's one of the top supercars in the world.
The Audi Quattro is a sporty car that can drive well in all kinds of weather because it has all-wheel drive. It’s famous for being very capable and fun to drive, especially on twisty roads.
The Rolls-Royce Silver Seraph is a very fancy car that offers a lot of comfort and luxury. It’s known for its beautiful design and smooth ride, making it a special choice for those who want something elegant.
The Rolls-Royce Phantom is one of the most luxurious cars you can buy, known for its comfort and high-quality materials. People often talk about it because it’s a symbol of wealth and luxury.
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I'm Richard Porter.
I'm Johnny Smith.
And this is On the Other Side of Things,
the Smith & Sniff spin-off in which we answer your questions.
Well, here we are again.
It's a Friday.
Got some questions to answer.
I'm going to start with quite a long one.
Now, this is actually from a friend of ours, Dan Bevis, the editor of Copacetic Magazine.
Good old Dan.
For whom I sometimes write.
And sweet, sweet guy, Dan has sent us a story with a question at the end.
And it starts with sadness.
Dan says, my grandmother became very ill over Christmas.
And after clinging to life as best she could in her typically tenacious way,
she passed away this week.
She'd made it to 98 years old, which is a frankly ridiculous innings.
And in her extremely long life, she enjoyed a short period of automotive mayhem,
which I thought may interest you.
Grant.
I love that.
I mean, count me in.
You had me at automotive mayhem.
Granny passed her driving test in 1998 at the age of 71.
What?
I know.
This, of course, pretty remarkable in itself.
And it was made all the more remarkable by the fact that she passed her test on her first go.
She was a determined old thing and tended to tackle tasks head on with failure,
not considered an option.
It's a generational behaviour, I suspect.
Also, she was an orphan and an evacuee in World War Two.
And I think that early shakeup of what's normal gives you a fairly forthright approach to life.
As was only proper for a septogenarian in the 90s, she bought herself a lovely new K-11 micro
from the local Glyn Hopkins dealership, something that raised some rye smiles among family members.
Although I, at age 16 at the time, was secretly rather impressed by its little twin cam stickers.
Yes, it was the full-fat 1.3-litre 16-valve with the CG-13 engine.
They were unfairly powerful, I think.
The 1.3s.
Yes.
I secretly hanker.
I see.
Well, actually, not secretly.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
No, it's not a secret.
It's not a secret.
Don't be ashamed.
Thank goodness.
I know you enjoy the nerdy details in these stories, so it's important to point out that
while this was an R-Edge 98 model, it was the earlier pre-Facelift K-11 rather than the fresh
for 98 K-11 C, which had that peculiar Primera-style grille and, of course, arrived on the Japanese
market in late 97, but didn't arrive here till March 98.
This is incredible detail, in fact.
Anyway, back to Dan's grandma.
He says, so there she was, trundling around East London, living out the OAP Dream,
a tiny silver-haired lady pottering about town in a box fresh micro in sparkling metallic beige.
A classic scene.
Metallic beige with pre-Facelift Micro 1.3.
Wow.
I'm in.
It's all there.
Yeah.
Dan says, bless her.
She was a shit driver.
Absolutely bloody awful.
Thankfully, the car was used almost exclusively for going to the local test going back.
A distance of about half a mile, so the wider metropolis was generally safe from her curious
driving pecadillos.
There were a grand total of four junctions between her house and the supermarket,
so it wasn't a stressful endeavour for her to go and fetch the groceries.
Well, not stressful if you're the one behind the wheel.
Perhaps a little more so if you happen to find yourself in the blind spot of a micro
piloted by someone very much focused on their own target rather than anything going on around them.
It afforded her some independence, which we all agreed was generally a good thing.
Her technique was unique.
We'd initially suggested that she might want to get an automatic,
but she maintained that my late grandfather would never approve of such a thing.
If you're going to drive, then you have to do proper driving in a proper car,
one in which you decide when to change the gears.
And in her case, that decision turned out to be absolutely never.
No.
Her clutch control was fine.
She was perfectly able to pull away from a standstill without either learner's spec
kangarooing or pensioner cliche massive revs.
But first gear was just fine for her, thank you very much.
No need to trouble the other ratios, she wasn't going far.
Once, from the passenger seat, I suggested that maybe it was time to give second a try.
Her response was that, well, look, the junction's just up there,
and I'll only have to change down again when I get there.
Oh, this is the new form of racing that hasn't happened yet.
Every racing driver's like, why waste time shifting gears?
Just hold it in it.
Then when you come to the corner, you're already in the right gear.
We weren't overly concerned by this.
If her maximum available velocity was capped at about 22,
that was probably best for everybody.
22.
And then one day, I've been, I've been screaming.
It's arse off.
Yeah.
But, you know, back to my point, it was a quite a revvy little engine that.
Yeah.
1.3.
Well, it had no option, her particular example.
Yeah.
Well, here we get to something that slightly relates to the stuff we've talked about before,
but Dan says, one day, the dent appeared.
A fairly noticeable dent in the tailgate beside the number plate about the size of a fist.
We quizzed her about this, but she was adamant that nobody had crashed into the back of her.
She hadn't reversed into anything, and this must have happened
while it was parked on the street outside her house.
Fair enough.
Bit annoying, but these things happen.
The next time we went to visit, the dent was visibly bigger.
Same place, but a further impact.
Again, no recollection of any drama or physical altercations.
Just one of those things.
Peculiar, but we moved on with our lives.
Oh, right.
And yet, the crater continued to evolve.
Every time we went to visit, the dent was a different shape.
There was evidently a pattern of woe here, perhaps some targeted tomfoolery.
Whatever it was that was happening, it was happening fairly regularly.
My auntie went to the Big Tesco with Granny one day, first gear all the way naturally.
A casual amble through the aisles to acquire the necessary cat food and tin of travel suites.
You said naturally first gear naturally, not naturally at all.
No, no, it's not.
It's unnatural.
But anyway, it's only when Dan's aunt went to the Big Tesco with his grandma
that apparently everything became clear.
Dan says she always parked in the same space next to the trolley bay.
At the rear of this space was the protruding end of a metal railing.
This sturdy object was her reference point.
When the tailgate made contact with it, she was parked.
She knew this.
She bloody knew about the shape-shifting dent all along.
She just didn't tell us out of pure mischief.
And I think that's a level of don't give a fuckness to which we all ought to aspire.
So Dan says my question to you, Stout Yeoman of the podcast, is this.
What would you hope to be driving when you're 71?
And will you be as deliberately shit as my dear departed granny was?
I mean, first of all, may she rest in peace, Dan's grandma.
She sounds like a redoubtable lady in many ways.
Granny Beaver sounds like a lot of fun.
I mean, I've never known anybody to pass the test that old.
No, there was a lady in her 40s that passed the test when I was a kid, one of our neighbors.
That was unusual.
But 70s is another level entirely.
Yeah.
Wow. Well, yeah, such a cool story.
We don't know, Dan hasn't mentioned, whether that car still exists.
Presumably, the synchro in first has had had enough.
And so anyone that buys it is surely doing second gear pullaways from now on.
But bloody hell.
I can't believe that.
What would you hope to be driving when you're 71, though?
I don't.
Well, I said to my over over Christmas when I was just enjoying a little bit of day drinking and
just wearing silly jumpers and talking to young people.
I said to my niece and my nephew, I think it's like, I'm
a long time ago, I decided that what I'd like to do is the older I get,
the more dangerous hobbies I take on and try out.
And I think I'm going to do that.
But it will almost certainly involve motorsport and or road driving work.
So I'd like to just drive more and more unforgiving cars as time goes on.
And the reason for this is not because I'm completely fucking bonkers,
but it's because I want to keep my wits about me and I don't do crosswords.
So it's my equivalent of brain training.
Rather than rather than doing crosswords and Sudoku, I want a car that has no traction
control is just going to give me punch me if I'm not careful.
So I'd like to think, well, it's time I'm 71.
Have I worked up to my final boss?
Am I going to be in a Dodge Viper?
Oh, oh, the circularity.
Yes.
Yes.
Is it going to be full closure?
Because you know what?
Slightly off pieced from the question.
We had a cars and coffee event locally to me where I store my cars at Ignition.
On January the 4th, and there was definitely ice on the ground.
And it was a full house.
All tickets were sold out.
Loads of interesting cars turned up from a daff areamatic up to various McLarens.
Oh, I saw your pictures.
Yeah, but a guy turned up and I got a very murky video of it as he was leaving.
A guy turned up in a Viper with the roof down.
I wanted to go and not just shake his head, but I wanted to create a makeshift trophy for him to say
you sir are all crazy, but also admirable.
I mean, I genuinely shivered when I looked at it just out of fear.
I still get the fear.
So, yeah, I think I might be in a Viper or if a two door low slung thing was just a bit much for me.
I'm trying to think of something quite skitty.
What about you, Rich?
I mean, I think that's really appealing.
I just want to know that at some point your niece and nephew are going to say,
what did Uncle Johnny do for his 70th birthday?
Well, he entered the Pari Dakar on a motorbike.
And over the weeks training.
Sort of Mark Thatcher style.
Mark Thatcher infamously got lost.
Well, he didn't get lost.
He broke down in the Sahara in a Peugeot 504 estate.
Nearly died.
Yeah, he was with two other people as well.
And they were at the point where they were taking the tires off the car to burn them,
to create black smoke in the hope of being seen when they were spotted.
But Mark Thatcher took part in the Pari Dakar, having agreed to do it like two years previously
with somebody that he just met at Le Mans, which he was also driving in weirdly,
and then claims that he completely forgot about it until like a week before or something
and had done no training.
Use that principle.
Did I agree to that?
It's my age.
I forget things.
I'll tell you what I might do.
I think for my 71st birthday, unless they're a quarter of a million quid,
which they probably will be by then.
I think I buy myself a really unhingedness on Sylvia.
Oh, OK.
And I'll winter use it.
Yeah, yeah, good idea.
Even if they are really, really expensive, when you get to the age of 71,
take stock.
How do you feel?
Do you feel healthy?
You know, do people in your family generally live long lives?
Because if you reckon you've only got a few years left, which may be, you know,
natural causes all because you've entered the Pari Dakar with no preparation.
But either way, take out a massive bank loan and then you'll just do it on a credit card.
Buy a Veyron on a credit card and then go, oh, shit, I've died.
I think I might do this.
I mean, look, we might still be doing Smith & Stiff when I'm 71.
I just don't know.
Nobody knows what the future holds.
But anyway.
The scary thing is that I will be 71 in exactly 20 years,
and that doesn't sound like a very long time.
So yeah, it's kind of scary, isn't it?
But I don't know.
I might just sort of ease into it by going full easy listening.
Perhaps there are just sort of some kind of knowing nods to anyone who listens to us.
I will find an immaculate K-11.
But I think I'd go auto, actually.
I just just really embrace the the oldness.
Or save the clutch knee, which might be.
Yeah, because if not, well, exactly.
Because I do have quite iffy knees anyway.
So that's actually quite a good point.
But yeah, it is tempting to just go, oh, what's granddad driving now?
Well, actually, for some reason, he's got to do some awesome mangusta.
But actually, I might just slip into it.
You know, Rover 75, go back to one of those.
Get a V8 Rover 75, Rich.
Oh.
Yeah, because you'll be, you're old by then, and you will have
nearly bought about seven of them by that point.
You go, do you know what?
I'm actually going to do that now.
This is silly.
Again, sort of, I suppose, you with your Viper, me just with closure.
It's like, come on, it's inevitable you're going to buy one of those
fucking things one day.
Just get on with it before you car kit.
So yeah, OK, there you go.
That's what that's what I've had.
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Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I've got a letter from the 22nd of January, 2024 here.
And um...
Of course.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
As long as it doesn't say please help, I've been kidnapped and money immediately.
No, it says in episode 194, you guys opened with Tesla floor pan swap.
And I totally misheard what you said.
How did this not segue into floor pan bop by the Ramones?
I've never been able to get this song out of my head since I heard this particular podcast chat.
Love the show, Martin Ray.
Now, is that a question?
I think it is a question.
How did you not segue into a floor pan bop by the Ramones?
Which I've not heard of.
Just for clarification listeners, this must have been January 2024.
So it was two years ago when we must have gone down that huge wheel base hole of
trying to floor pan swap Teslas with classic piston cars.
Because I'm looking at the emails and they're all going,
did you know that the Volvo blah blah blah is only a few millimeters different?
And it's great to go back through it.
Maybe we should rekindle a floor pan chat.
Well, this does actually relate to a question,
a proper question we had from a listener called Lee, which only came in last month.
He says, I'm writing to tell you about my 2019 Renault traffic,
which has an ongoing issue with the DPF.
The van has been to the local Renault dealership for repair.
I collected the repaired, he's put that in inverted commas,
van to return back home.
I put on my music playlist and headed off.
After about five minutes, the by now all too familiar dashboard warning lights came on
and almost simultaneously a song called Sitting in Limbo by Jimmy Cliff played.
If you listen to the song, I'm sure it says sitting in limp mode,
which turns out is what has happened to my van.
Hang on, Jimmy Cliff, did he predict limp home mode?
He must have done, very far sighted.
This question is to you or your listeners,
know of any song or other misheard lyrics that are relevant to cars,
slash vans, slash bikes.
Well, we've done a few of them, haven't we, in the past?
We had a letter back in 2024 regarding Lady Gaga,
which I think is a Lady Gaga song, Bad Romance.
Yes, did we?
Yeah, and Joe Riles, who wrote to us, thanks, Joe, thanks for being patient,
said, I want your love and all your lovers revenge.
You and me could rent a caravan.
Oh, that's why he's convinced that's what Lady Gaga says.
It doesn't sound like that.
You and me, we could rent a caravan.
He's either got a really noisy car or he needs to get his speakers looked at,
because I know that song well.
It's an excellent song, man.
I'd like to say Bad Romance is sort of caravan-based.
I mean, I've had some Bad Romance in caravans,
a caravan, shall I say, not multiple, just once.
The one that I think I've mentioned it before,
the one that always gets me, because again,
it doesn't actually sound like it, it's the rhythm of it,
Korean bodega by the Fun Loving Criminals.
Yes.
Every time, to this day that I see a Kia Sedona,
I hear the name of the car sung to the melody of that song.
Kia Sedona.
Yes.
Well, that's the Paul Young song that I, with that other guy that I cut.
Zikaro, was it Zikaro?
He sends you an Adana.
Yeah, I always thought, I always used to sing Kia Sedona, like that.
Oh.
No more trouble in my life, Kia Sedona.
I think if I had one, I would sing that every morning
when it caught right on the key,
and then I moved off without any mechanical issues.
Oh, we did Hello Hello in a Police Convertible by you too.
You remember those lyrics?
That was the classic.
I still sing that now.
Anyway, we should probably answer an actual other question.
Should we?
Well, there we go.
I mean, I don't know.
Please, if you have a particular song lyric that you think
sounds like a car, van, bike-related thing,
or just something that sticks in your head, even though it's not,
you can answer Lee's question for us.
Hello at smithandstiff.com is the address.
A very quick question by Chris from Stockport.
Hi, Chris.
He says,
Hi, you pair of grade A ocean-going strokers.
As big fan of the Vic, is Johnny aware that the Ford Crown Victoria race
is hosted by YouTuber Cleetus McFarland in Florida?
If so, would he fly out if the opportunity arose for him to race in one of his races?
CMTMB, Chris.
Chris, I absolutely would.
I mean, Cleetus McFarland is demolishing the car into there.
He's very, very talented in both content ideas,
but also execution of them.
He's a good driver, too, by all accounts.
So I would love to do that.
Maybe, Rich, you and I should.
Should we do that?
I would love to do some serious Vic racing.
But I'd have to bring the Vic out.
Yeah, I'd love to, as well.
Cleetus McFarland's sort of got, like, he just amasses them, doesn't he?
He's got a whole yard full of Crown Vicks, I think.
I've seen it, not in person.
I think he amasses a lot of cars full stop.
I think he's got an awful lot of cars.
Because his name's Garrett Mitchell, isn't it?
Or his name's not actually Cleetus McFarland.
That's his...
Is it not?
No, that's his stage name.
His name is...
Yeah.
I've just realised he's...
I thought he was around about my age,
and I've just looked up that he's definitely younger than us.
In fact, he's several decades younger than us.
Anyway, I was assumed he was quite young, isn't he?
But it's funny, because every time I hear him mentioned or see his stuff,
I always think, until I saw him, I thought Cleetus was a sort of comedy name.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, no, someone's really called it.
Yeah.
But it's only like when you sort of encounter or hear of somebody in the US
called Homer and you go, but that's not it.
Oh, but it is a name.
Yeah.
They used a name for the Simpsons.
Of course they did.
Well, they had to give him a name.
It's got a hell of a merch shop, but I'm not going to promote it.
Who? Homer Simpson or Cleetus McFarland?
Well, both, really.
Well, Homer's been around longer.
Well, there we go.
If the opportunity ever arises, then yes, we'd go down.
I don't know anybody who knows Cleetus.
Oh, I might know somebody that does.
But I think we might.
I think we do, actually.
I sort of, as soon as I said it, I realised we probably do.
But if Cleetus is listening or one of his friends or family are listening,
which is unlikely, yeah, we'd love to.
Short answer.
Absolutely love to.
I've got an excellent question here from listener called Rich,
who says, I was just watching Harry Metcalf off of Harry's garage off of YouTube.
Yeah.
Doing his annual roundup and something struck me.
He has a trio of lovely early 70s cars.
Full-year Zegato, Lotus Elan and disgraced entertainer spec Silver Shadow.
He has the late 80s Holy Trinity of 9-Eleven Turbo, Testarossa and Kuntas.
Yeah.
He has a triumphant of peak car in his Jagd Project 7 and Project 8 and McLaren 650s.
But nothing from the mid 90s to the late 2000s.
Seeing as he's come into a bit of cash from selling his Jagd XJ Coupe and Lamborghini
Espada, I think you couple of flutes could act as his car consultants to pick out three
awesome vehicles from the period for a total budget of about £250,000.
Well, what would you go for?
A saucy Audi R8, a Scooby Impressor of some sort, popular with farming types,
Rich Point's house.
Maybe something properly lairy like a TVR Cerbera.
I'm keen to hear your thoughts, CMTNB Rich.
That's a rather good question.
So is it late 90s early, mid 90s to late 90s?
Yeah, that's Rich's parameters on mid 90s to late 2000s.
So that's quite a broad church.
And it's an interesting point that Harry doesn't really have any sort of
headline cars from that era that I can think of.
Yeah, that is true, isn't it?
It's, I mean, I'm surprised that Harry hasn't jumped on an early R8 V8 manual because
everyone always goes on about, hey, how great they are, which they are,
but also how they're a sort of bona fide modern classic and they're only going to go up.
They are.
But maybe that's it.
Maybe they're too obvious.
Everyone's already onto that.
Yeah, that would be the one that would appeal to me the most, actually, is the V8 Manuel.
I would totes do that.
I'll tell you a car that does it have to be sports cars or is it just thoroughbred vehicles?
No, because Rich has highlighted Harry's silver shadow, you know,
and then Harry is a man of eclectic taste.
So I don't think we have to stick to that.
Well, I would go for, and we have talked about them not that long ago,
and I was tooling around in a behently over Christmas.
I would go, I'd go for a Bentley Brooklands from about 2008.
It was recession spec.
Oh, yeah.
And they're so good looking and they're so fast and they're so sort of last of the old school,
but it doesn't feel old.
So it's kind of OK.
And they were a quarter of a million quid and they're now about 90, 80.
No, are they though?
I don't know.
Are they less?
They're probably less.
I don't know.
No, I'm not sure.
That's I thought they were a bit punchy now.
I thought they sort of were 150 or something.
Oh, are they?
Come on.
I thought you could get one from under a hundred thou.
Let's have a look.
Can I have a look at it?
Oh, there's one.
Yes.
OK.
So there's one here for bang on a hundred and then 129, 135, 100.
OK.
Yeah.
So right.
Yeah.
All right.
You can have one for a hundred.
I mean, I don't know if this is.
Yeah, I'd be tempted.
I'd be tempted by one of those because I just think they're great.
And then he would.
We drove one, didn't we once?
Yeah.
We drove one when we went to the members meeting at Goodwood.
That's right.
It was the last off the line one, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
It was exceptional.
I've got to say.
So magnificent.
It was the last one made and then I looked at the mirror at one point
and I was driving another car and you were doing a massive one wheel
peel out of a junction.
It was slightly disrespectful, but it did look amazing.
I'll drive that car and I will kill again.
OK.
Now, I know that Harry likes a Maserati.
And the sort of later 4,200 GTs.
Yes.
The Grand Sport ones.
Yes.
They're 2,000s, aren't they?
That was a car they sort of kept fiddling with
and it was felt like towards the end they finally cracked it.
It's like, I think it's actually genuinely really good.
There's not even a butt coming.
It's just, this is really good.
And then they got killed.
And then he got killed.
Rich has come up with some good suggestions.
I could see Harry appreciating a hot Scooby.
Yes.
My guessing it would be he wouldn't buy the,
which is the stupid one, the BB-22B.
22B.
He wouldn't go that.
Yeah, because that's 300 grand.
But a P1 is actually much, much better value.
I've seen lots of P1s recently through iconic auctioneers
going for around the 20 to 25 mark and they're good.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Yeah, really, really.
Wow.
So when you compare that to 300, 400, I mean it's,
and of course you can create a 22B for about 100 grand.
So I would probably go for a P1.
And the more I think about those,
and the more I watch my Metro Rancho body swap project
coming together, the more I'm lusting after a Scoobleroo.
Just, I don't particularly like the look of any Subaru massively,
but the way they drive is just so fun and reassuring.
And it just massively confidence inspiring.
It's like what an Audi Quattro should drive like,
is I always think.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
It's, we did talk about presses the other week, didn't we?
And I was saying, you know, RB5s are still my
dream impressor, basically.
I don't want to be greedy.
I don't need a 22B.
No.
I think a really nice, tidy, well looked after RB5.
And you know, they're sort of what, 15 to 20, aren't they?
Yeah, they are.
They are, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Richard Burns the fifth, yeah.
King Richard the fifth.
But if you, you know, Harry is a canny man.
He doesn't throw money around with abandon.
He sort of puts it in sensible places, even car wise.
So you're not going to lose on those, are you?
No, I just don't think so.
If you buy right and rust proof.
I try to remember, because obviously in the heyday of Evo,
you know, the impressor was very much at the heart of the whole Evo thing,
notwithstanding that the mag was sort of inadvertently named after it.
Completely.
It was the, because it was often the giant slayer,
in the same way that the R35 GT-R was a benchmark for so many other supercars.
It was like, but can it outdo the, you know, 50 grand still?
What an unbelievable bargain R35.
I mean, I couldn't see Harry in an R35 GT-R, but you could talk about that.
All right, we'll try this on for size.
As a little companion to Harry's Shad,
what about one of those silver seraphs, the BMW V12 in it?
Because they're quite obscure and a talking point.
They are, and they're also on the YouTubes.
And they're not pedo.
Most importantly, I don't think they're very...
Whereas I'm afraid, and I might have said it in several of the video comments
when Harry talks about the shadow.
It's like, look, I know you're enjoying the fact that it's cheap and cheerful
and you've driven it to the Arctic Circle,
but they are shit and they are pedo.
So on that basis, in the words of Dragon's Den, I'm out.
And I'm afraid I will die on that hill.
They're not a very good car, and they're just way too complicated
and underwhelming for what they are.
All right?
We've seen Harry's new video about his silver shadow.
No, is it good?
Yeah, the video's all right, but it's made the fact that Johnny Smith's in the comments section
repeatedly just writing pedo in big letters.
For clarity, I'm not calling Harry that.
It's the car.
No, no, no, no, just the car has a certain...
quiff about it of disgraced entertainers, we say.
I was going to have a quick look, actually,
because I just thought, I wonder if those rolls are...
I've looked at these before, but they're not...
The Seraph, yeah.
Yeah, the Seraph, and they're not total.
There's only one here for sale.
Let's see what this is.
Yeah, so that is a rare...
29 and a half grand.
What?
Yeah, it's more than I thought.
Oh, is it?
Well, I don't know.
I mean, it's hard to know, isn't it?
But I just thought they might be less because...
We're lingering over this question, but from Rich Spate,
because it's really good.
It's a really good question, and also,
hopefully, that if we can come up with a solid shortlist,
we can fax it to Harry and insist that he has to act upon it.
But so...
The comment about maybe something properly leery
like a TVR Cerbera.
I actually think I could see Harry with a slagaris.
Yes.
The slagaris was the last of the TVRs from memory, wasn't it?
Was that the last one?
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
So one of those is this kind of swan song to the brand that was.
And I could see...
I mean, he will have driven one in period.
I could see him having a bit of fun with that.
And I mean, I'd have a...
Personally, I'd probably want a Cerbera.
We've talked about that before, but yeah, I think...
But there's so many, there's so many.
That's a big budget.
250K.
But this is...
Because I realised, of course, this is...
2000...
When was Evo set up?
99.
Yeah.
So it's Prime Evo.
So this is Prime Evo.
So really, I suppose, Harry, it's good if he's buying
some of the cars that were sort of the bedrock of Evo cover stars, hero cars,
you know, the cars they championed.
And I suppose TVRs were always part of that mix.
So yeah, a TVR...
Some kind of impressed.
So probably a 22B.
No, sorry, probably a P1.
Yeah.
Because they're more affordable.
Yes.
And then the Bentley Brooklands would be just delightful.
Wouldn't that be a good...
But if not, they're a Silver Cerro.
What a grade.
Well, put it this way.
And we've got change from that.
No, but Harry being Harry and being, you know, he's quite a careful man,
he's gone, I went to buy a Bentley Brooklands,
but at the final second, I decided, no, I'll buy four serifs instead.
So I've got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday serifs.
I've found some more for sale.
And actually the 29 grand one is the cheapest out there because, you know, 37, 39,
there's a £49,000 one here.
And then somebody is flogging what I think is supposed to be the final one made.
And so by dint of that, it is the last Rolls-Royce made at the Crew Factory.
It's only got 250 miles on it.
But unfortunately, this is going to hoover up a lot of our budget
because it is £150,000 is the asking price.
Well, that's where we weighed in with the...
I bet this has been for sale for ages.
It's 50 grand or you can feck off.
Facts that through to the dealer.
And they'll go, I know it's the last one, but at the end of the day,
things are worth what people will pay and no one's paid.
So there.
I hear what you're saying, but I would counter with, who gives a shit?
It's a good, it's a strong, it's a strong counter, Richard.
It's a very strong counter.
But the thing is, didn't Harry buy his Shad for sort of four grand or something?
Yeah, I hope so, or less.
Some of you gave it so subtent.
Yeah, yeah, it was, you know, ex-wedding baggy Shad.
So here's one that'll generate a lot of content,
is that to get a sister car for it from the period we're talking about,
he's got to buy the cheapest Phantom that he can find.
Yeah, they're down, aren't they?
But then they're old now.
They must be.
I forget how old they are.
Monkey Harris had one, didn't he?
And it cost him quite a lot of money when things went wrong.
Yeah, I didn't hear much about it after the, I've just bought this.
So I'm guessing it didn't go well.
Some, yeah, had some really punchy things.
It's also one of those classic situations where I think he said, you know,
you'd order a bit and they'd go, well, it leads to this because it's a Rolls-Royce.
So it would turn up and it was patently a BMW part in a Rolls-Royce box
and three times the price as a result.
So, yeah, but no, it did.
It had some, I can't remember when, fuel pump or something was really pricey.
And then before or after that, he had another thing that I would offer on Harry's
90s to 2000s list.
He had a Bentley Mulsanne.
Oh, he did, didn't he?
And, and that didn't give him a lick of trouble, apparently.
So, yeah.
A bloody figure.
I miss the Mulsanne, Rich.
I miss the Mulsanne a lot.
I saw one the other day and it was such a joy just to see one on the street.
They're so majestic.
They are majestic.
I'm glad you used that word because that's what I would have described it as.
There is a logistic.
We should wrap this up, but I found, I found Harry's Phantom.
It's white with a red leather interior.
It's on some dubious aftermarket wheels and it's 38995.
Right.
Okay.
That, I mean, yeah, that's good value or terrible if it goes wrong immediately.
Well, yeah, that's the...
Well, anyway, if you have a question for us, it's hello at smithandsniff.com.
We'll do this all again next week.
Until then, goodbye.
Bye, everybody.
Greetings, adventurers.
That has been putting out episodes each and every week since 2012.
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About this episode
Richard Porter and Johnny Smith dive into a heartfelt story about a listener's grandmother who passed her driving test at 71 and drove a Nissan Micra with a unique driving style. The duo reflects on her adventures and mischief behind the wheel, sparking a discussion on what they hope to drive at that age. They also tackle listener questions about car choices, including suggestions for a car consultant to Harry Metcalf, exploring options from the mid-90s to late 2000s. The episode balances humor, nostalgia, and thoughtful insights into automotive choices.
Jonny and Richard answer listener’s questions about what you’d drive in old age, songs that sound car-related, Crown Vic racing, and what 90s and 00s cars should Harry Metcalfe buy?
