The Cadillac Lyriq is a new, fancy electric car that doesn’t use gas and is very quiet and smooth to drive. It’s made to be comfortable and has lots of modern technology inside.
The Mazda MPV is a type of car called a minivan, which means it has lots of space inside for people and stuff. It was made by Mazda and was popular for families or carrying things.
Sliding doors are doors on some cars that move sideways instead of swinging open. This makes it easier to get in and out, especially in small parking spots.
The Range Rover is a fancy, big car that can drive on rough roads and looks very stylish. Some people think it’s a car that only rich or flashy people drive, which is why it sometimes gets a bad reputation.
The Ford Focus LX is a type of small car that is cheaper and has simpler features, like basic wheels. People sometimes choose it because it looks less flashy and draws less attention.
The Ford Focus Z-Tec is a nicer version of the Focus car that has shiny metal wheels called alloy wheels. These wheels look better but can make the car stand out more.
Alloy wheels are special car wheels made from light metals that look shiny and nice. They can make a car look fancier but also catch more people's eyes.
The Saab 9-5 is a comfortable and safe car that looks different from most others. It’s known for being strong and having a smooth ride, making it a favorite for people who want a special kind of car.
The Audi Allroad is a fancy wagon car that can drive a bit better on rough roads than normal cars. It’s good if you want a nice car that can handle different kinds of roads.
The Maserati Levante is a fancy SUV made by Maserati, an Italian car company. It's like a big car that can carry people and stuff, but it also drives fast and looks stylish.
The Jeep Cherokee is a strong and tough car that can drive on rough roads and is good for adventures. It’s popular with people who want a car that can handle different kinds of driving without costing too much.
The BMW 5 Series is a fancy car that is comfortable and fun to drive. It's a popular model that other cars sometimes use as a base because it drives well.
The Golf is a small, easy-to-drive car that lots of people like because it’s reliable and comfortable. It’s been around for a long time and is often used as an example of a good everyday car.
The Chevrolet Express is a big van that people use to carry things or lots of people. It’s simple and strong, so it’s good for work or moving stuff around.
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I'm Richard Porter.
I'm Johnny Smith.
And this is On the Other Side of Things, the Smith & Sniff spinoff in which we answer
your questions.
Welcome, once again, to our Friday Q&A show.
And...
Oh, hi, everyone.
I was going to kick off with a question from a listener called Nick.
Nick Rutherford, who identifies himself as aged 41 and 7 eighths.
I can't do the maths on that.
7 eighths?
I want to start with this question because I saw it and I thought, I'm going to look
this up because I didn't believe entirely what I was reading.
Nick says, hello, you pair of euphemisms.
So in cream, as in the Wutang clan song, Reqvon states for the benefit of a tape, rolling
in MPVs, every week we made 40 Gs.
Oh!
I imagine Reqvon is trembling at my flow there, which was quite substantial.
I was hanging on your every syllable.
Nick says, now to me, an MPV is a people carrier.
My question to you is, do you think they were rolling in Renault espaces, or perhaps the
combination of the threat of drivebys and fibreglass construction led them to choose
something more domestic, such as a Chrysler Voyager, CMTMB Nick.
I looked this up because I was thinking, that can't be the lyric.
Surely, rolling in MPVs, it just doesn't seem plausible.
So I looked this up, I looked up the lyrics of the track.
Yeah, and what a track it is.
There's one of those song lyric websites that allows people to sort of annotate and
explain lines in the lyrics, and helpfully someone had put an explanation in for this
line in cream.
So it is MPVs, but it's really specific.
It's about, do you remember the Mazda MPV?
Yes.
Possibly the most unimaginatively named car ever.
Yes, it was very plain, wasn't it?
Yes, exactly.
And they're not just talking about the genre of MPVs, they're talking about the Mazda MPV.
Apparently, this was the car of choice for when you were perhaps supplying certain substances
on the street.
Right, because it's discrete, it's the ultimate discretion car.
Well, it's also apparently because sliding doors are quite useful for getting in and
out of in a hurry.
Of course.
And having enough room inside for some of your associates and your produce and possibly
some weapons and things might be quite useful.
Supposedly, in the Wu Tang manual, the MPV was described as the hossest minivan back then.
If you if you watch the video for this song, supposedly Mazda MPV features in it.
Hang on, this is great because the Wu Tang clan were basically explaining stealth wealth.
I suppose so.
This is stealth wealth.
They're making 40 grand a week, allegedly, rolling around in a Mazda MPV.
What they're saying is, I don't need to show you my wealth.
I know I've got a shed load of it.
Plus, I've got the practicalities of a minivan so I can carry produce, henchmen and
possibly guns and ammunition.
You know, when people go, oh, look, blacked out G-Wagon or a Range Rover Sport, such a
drug dealers car.
But it's always occurred to me that an actual street level drug dealer would be stupid to
roll around in that kind of car.
Well, I know someone who used to buy marijuana off a drug dealer in London who
had stopped it, had a Ford Focus LX.
Yeah.
And he he he he was he once explained to my mate that he deliberately bought a Focus LX
and not a Z-Tec because the Z-Tec had alloy wheels and he felt these were too flashy and
would attract too much attention.
And the crappy plastic wheel trims of an LX just created a more low key vibe for the
illegal distribution of narcotics.
So that's a real drug dealer for you.
I like his thought process.
I would have probably bought the Z-Tec and then just put steels on it.
But that's just me.
Well, I mean, maybe he also felt the firm suspension was going to be a disadvantage.
He wanted the comfort as well.
See, I still think that Wu-Tang Clan's cream is a masterpiece of a track just because of
the the sample more than anything.
But the guys at Top Dead Centre, their podcast, I still think has the best name of a car
podcast and I'm still annoyed about it.
I just I still wish that I'd thought of it.
It's just great.
Cars rule everything around me.
I suppose you have to get the reference for it to make sense.
Otherwise, you might think they're just like massive Eric Clapton fans or they really love
rich milk products.
But well, I love I love a cream.
The band are one of my favourite bands.
Are they?
Yeah, because it was one of the it's one of the bands that I was exposed to when I
started learning the guitar at the age of I think I was about 10 or 11.
And my dad, my dad got some CDs from the local library, which were Eric Clapton and
Cream and said, oh, you'll I think you'll really enjoy this music.
And to this day, it's still one of my sort of favourite favourite bands, just
incredible.
So one of my favourite songs of all time is by Cream.
So I'm like, well, you know, you know, it stays with you rich.
Do you know what I mean?
Well, look, there we go, Nick.
I feel like it's not really the point of this podcast to actually answer questions
properly with information.
But on this occasion, I wanted to make an exception because I was intrigued.
And so there you go.
It really is about MPVs and specifically the Mazda MPV.
Yeah, I enjoy the question, Nick.
We're going to go straight on to another question by somebody called Mian.
On Mian.
Mian Cal.
Hello, you meet substitute kebabs.
I need some advice on my next car choice, please.
I like a car that's different, like in a car park.
Mine's the only one, that kind of thing.
My car history was Audi A2, Saab 95 Estate, Mazda 6 Estate, but
2.2 Spowet, good car.
And I currently have a CRZ and a Gen 1 C-Max.
Oh, CRZ.
The C-Max was bought purely to transport elderly parents around.
I love the way they had to add that.
My question to you guys is, what next to consolidate the two?
And should it be Alpha 159, a GT or Brara?
CMTMB, Mian, PS, Johnny, do you still want a CRZ for your daughter?
2012, blue, 86k miles, call me, comma, maybe.
All right.
Hey, I just met you.
I was going to say, and this is crazy, but do you want to buy me one?
Well, in the words of, we buy any car, I will buy any car at the right price.
That price is £7.
Exactly. It's 12 quid.
I wonder what he wants for his CRZ.
If it's killer money, maybe.
But look, guys, listen, let's answer the question first.
So what was the question?
Oh, right. So what he wants to?
He wants to consolidate a CRZ and a C-Max into one car
that is interesting, but also can transport elderly parents.
Yeah. And he hasn't mentioned budget.
No, because I see.
I didn't. I didn't much like the Alpha GT.
And I wasn't wowed by the Brara.
So I'd say the 159 is actually the the nicest.
I've seen two Braras.
I've seen two Braras this week, which I think is quite rare.
One of them was a school run Brara.
And the other one was on a neighbor of my girlfriends.
So I think they own it.
At some point, I'll need to say hi and talk about the Brara.
I think you're going to have to.
Yeah, because it's a connoisseur's choice.
Also, I mean, elderly parents, plural.
Yeah, I'm not going to force an elderly mum or dad
to get into the back of an Alpha GT or Brara.
I mean, that's just not fair, is it?
That's going to cause agro, unless one of them has to drive
and you have to get in the back and then, yeah, no.
So 159 of those three is my vote.
So he's, yeah, they've said.
The car needs to be like in a car park, mine's the only one.
They haven't specifically said it needs to be dynamically brilliant
or exceptionally fast or so.
Why don't if he likes Saabs, why doesn't he go for the last of the Saabs?
Because it's got lots of back end space.
So it's a practical four door.
It would be very unique and it would be a very, if you know, you know car
because only Saab warriors or tragic like us will go,
oh, it's the last of the Saabs.
Yeah. So I'm wondering.
That's good, that I'm thinking, yeah, he could do that in terms of money.
I don't know what they're about these days,
but I know they're not classed as collectible yet, whether they ever will be.
I don't know. No, no, no, in that, not in that realm.
I mean, not yet.
Hey, on that note, the one that I was like, again, late era Saab,
yeah, is the nine three X.
Yes, I sort of like and handsome car sits a tiny bit higher,
so easier for your parents to get in and out of, of course.
And and it's, you know, you won't see many around.
So that's got that on its side.
I was suddenly thinking just purely if the driving criteria
above anything else is there mustn't be another one in the car park.
Suzuki Kizashi.
Oh, my gosh, yes. Strange thing.
Because you will never see another one of those.
Surely. What about Toyota Picnic? Oh.
I think it's a sliding door.
People carry it, isn't it?
So. Hmm.
It's a shame we don't have a budget here
because I've just found for sale a late
shape Saab nine five.
It's the two point eight TV six aero four wheel drive.
Or your best WD is Saab said.
88,000 miles. It's not cheap.
It's nine thousand two hundred pounds.
Private seller. Right.
I mean, a private seller.
That's going to be a Saabthusiastic.
Surely you don't end up with one of those by accident.
Private cave dweller. Yeah.
Yeah. So OK.
It's it's I mean, it's not it's not cheap.
But, you know, you will not see another one.
The seller says the car is in very good condition
and a pleasure to drive.
I think your the Saab X is a good call.
I just like them.
So we've offered just me.
We've offered a pair of Saab's is.
I mean, if you could get an Audi all road in a funky color,
like the first gen one, that would be nice.
Now, that reminds me of something.
What? I was chatting to some people the other day.
Yeah.
And I've just decided that I feel like this is maybe a hill I will die on.
Audi's aren't reliable cars.
No, you know what it is?
Is Audi have become one of those brands where people buy them
because they think that they're exceptional quality
and they're dependable and in the same way that I think
I'm going to say that, you know, that idea of Range Rover.
Look, I'll buy one and it can go anywhere and do anything.
Yes, it can if it works, but it might not work.
That's the problem.
Well, this is the thing.
You know, this is a standard response, isn't it?
So any Land Rover product to us go, was it broken down yet?
Was it broken down now?
What about now?
And much of that reputation may be founded or not.
I was just watching Mike Ferney's excellent video
about those ingenium diesel engines and what an absolute shit show they are.
Yeah, for quite a sort of simple reason,
but one that ultimately just just wreaks havoc with them.
Yeah, potentially because the DPF and but as a thing,
I think Audi's people assume because they feel very well made.
But I think to qualify my they're not reliable.
I think it's as they get older and I would also lump BMWs in with this.
If you, you know, if you talk to BMW perverts, they'll say the same thing.
As they get older, there's some little plastic bit in the engine
or there's some poorly thought through design feature that can end up
felling the car or at least causing you great inconvenience
and costing you lots of money to get fixed.
Yeah. And so I don't think they are as dependable
as they feel like they should be is probably where I'm going with this.
And it reminds me, we had a we had a message
from a listener, which I now I now can't find because I'm an idiot.
Well, while you're looking, while you're rummaging, it's occurred to me.
So any car that feels like it could be invincible
and it gives you this powerhouse effect like a BMW,
I think people are so convinced by its reputation
that they don't look after them and that because they go, well,
they're just their bulletproof.
I've been told they're bulletproof and they're strong.
So therefore they mistreat them and they miss maintain them.
And then at some point the car throws the towel in and goes,
not you should have done that 50,000 miles ago and you didn't.
So yes, I'm dying now.
I mean, this is the thing.
I think you're absolutely right.
And but also that sometimes the manufacturers
have underspecified these cars or this is one of the things
that actually Mike made the point in his video about JLR.
They're the service intervals on those ingenium diesels,
something absurd, like 21,000 miles and just go, no, no, it should be.
They may they meant 2100 miles.
Yes, exactly. Well, that's the thing.
It's one of the ways to ensure that that or at least maximize your chances
of the engine not absolutely shitting itself is to just change the oil.
Yeah. Remember, like the wet belt, one of the chaps at Morgan,
when we did our live show at Morgan, one of the chaps who works there
has got a discovery for. Yes.
And he gave us a lift back to where we're staying.
And we said, how many engines has it gone through?
And he went, no, because I changed the oil all the time.
Yeah. I mean, not, you know, not Brian Maystile,
but but he just changes it way more regularly than in guidelines.
And and that has helped it to stay healthy.
So I think it's the future of your tree lesson.
We should be sponsored by several high quality oil companies,
because we're just telling people to change your oil every week.
Well, so that people can hedge their bets.
We need them to trade off against one another.
But also not just that.
And I'm going to be a bit partridge when I say this.
It's not just the oil.
It's the quality of the oil filter.
Do not buy cheap oil filters by there are a difference
in the internals of the elements of oil filters
and cheap oil filters will bite you.
So you must buy good quality oil filters.
They've really gone downhill in recent years, sadly,
like a lot of components. So you have to pay care.
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Can I make my site firmer?
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Fully. Yeah, I'm going to stop your partridge now.
I found this message is from a listener who describes
himself as Tristan off of Leeds.
The reason it suddenly came to mind is because it's actually
his message he said was sitting in his drafts for ages
and is about a Maserati Levante that he owned at the time.
He took so long to send us the message that he's added a PS
that says I swapped the Levante last October for an Audi e-tron GT.
Great car, no more reliable than the Maserati.
Oh, which is the bit that really caught my eye, Tristan.
Please do let us know how this how this came to be the case
because his main message says you were talking recently
about OCD tendencies and how us car boards tend to suffer
quite badly from them.
The timing was impeccable as I just noticed that the speedo
on my Maserati Levante doesn't increase in equal increments.
What?
Up to 50 miles an hour, the numbers rise in sensible 10
mile per hour steps.
After that, it jumps to 20 mile an hour increments.
Because there's also a digital readout, it took me a few
weeks to spot.
But now I have spotted it.
I can't unsee it.
This has led to several issues.
Firstly, for reasons I can't fully explain, it makes me deeply
uneasy.
I like symmetry in a car.
Secondly, it took me weeks to notice.
How have I missed this on other?
Have I missed this on other cars I've owned?
What else have I been blindly tolerating?
I'm trying not to spiral.
Naturally, the only logical solution was to sell it.
This was even before the engine warning light came on.
In its defense, it had been fairly reliable over seven months
and 10,000 miles.
Although it was always going to remember it was Italian at
some point, the warning light turned out to be camshaft and
crankshaft position sensors, which at least gave me a semi
plausible justification to my better half, who is now very
familiar with my habit of changing cars multiple times a
year for, if I'm honest, daft reasons.
So my question is this.
What's the most pathetic excuse you've ever used to justify
selling or changing a car?
Cheers mate, thanks mate, bye.
Tristan off of Leeds.
Pathetic, ridiculous for changing or selling a car.
I see, I have quite a lot of inertia for getting rid of cars
because I find selling cars the most
you hate, the thing that you can do.
It's become, it's definitely less fun than it was.
Definitely.
It's because I find it excuse to sell a car to someone I know
just to get it gone.
I'll take you, I shouldn't say this because I can't get
pleased to come back.
I'll just like take any old money just to get it sold to
somebody I know who I, I've sold quite a few cars to people.
I'm trying to sell a loved one Skoda Yeti.
So if anybody would like one, can you
contact us, 84,000, 1.4 petrol, it's white as Yeti should be.
And I've replaced the rear lower wishbones because they rot out
like all Volkswagen's of that era apparently, which took me by
the same.
Again, you see VWs, all the dependable cars.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know, are they anymore?
Yeah, I know.
You told me about this rotty wishbones, that's quite shocking
because that's a safety critical part.
Yeah, well I took it for a mot and there was a hole in it
the size of your fist in that one of the lower wishbones.
So I replaced the pair, but I was a bit put out.
Can I just say that?
Yeah.
It's more actually these pathetic excuses to buy a car.
We've got those out.
Yeah, I've got loads getting rid of one or changing it.
It's more excuses to keep them really, but yeah, I am bad.
I mean, the one that my wife brought up multiple times as the
car turned out to be a bit of a crock was predictably my
Panda 100 horsepower, which I justified buying to her.
People may remember that saga from an earlier podcast.
I just defied her by saying I just wanted something to zoom
about in.
Yeah, she kept bringing us up when when she'd go as the
fear I was had to go back to the garage.
Oh no, what are you going to zoom about in while it's gone?
She would say slightly suck.
You did precisely no zooming in that damn car.
There was a little bit of zooming, but always with growing
sense that if I zoomed too much, it might break again.
Zoom, zoom, zoom, like the old Mazda slogan.
We're not very good at answering this question.
Well, no, because I've got friends who are very pedantic
about the spec of a car, but they say they buy one when they
can't find the exact spec they want, and then they'll tool
the round in it for several months, and then the right
spec car will come along and so they will just jump straight
out of the other one and quickly have to sell it because
they've got to buy the other one because it's the it's the one
that has the panoroof and green metallic paint that they want.
Yeah.
And I'm amazed at how far they'll go to just get the right
spec.
I get it.
So I'm more about condition than spec, really.
Yes, I know what you mean, and you'll go, no, it's not the
model I wanted, but it's so good.
I'll just live without.
Yeah.
I don't know.
An ashtray or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think another one, again, this is a from the sort
of flimsy justification desk is that I bought that Jeep Cherokee
for 800 quid entirely because it was like, I just need a car
to drive the dog around in.
Oh, dog car justification.
Because it was like, oh, yeah.
You know, I used to take a dog out and we'd go up to, you know,
various sorts of pits of local parkland, but then she'd get
quite muddy.
I was like, I just need a, you know, an old beta that I could
take the dog around without worrying about it.
But really, it's because I just quite fancy the Jeep Cherokee.
Man, I wish I wish I'd known you then.
I think I did know you.
You did.
You did know me then.
I never saw your Jeep.
It was all right.
I saw it says someone that I work with again, someone I know.
And he then gave it to his dad because his dad needed an
automatic because he got a foot or a leg injury or something.
And his dad threw it away.
He buried it in the gun.
They did actually end.
I think they ended up throwing it away because it's, I forget
now, there was some issue.
It was fine.
Well, I'd say except that those I've mentioned quite recently,
the instruments would sometimes black out for some reason or
other.
And then one of the gas struts on the tailgate went and that's
just, I'll be honest.
Gas struts are close to spring compressors in the pantheon of
things I fear.
Oh, yeah, I always put off replacing the gas strut on the
tailgate.
Do you?
Um, yeah, I just, I used to, I used to get the tailgate and the
tailgate on that car was not that heavy.
I just get the tailgate and I just let it rest on my own head
while I got the dog out.
Yeah, I know my dad had a broom handle.
He just had in the boot for years.
I was, when I was walking the dog, I would be looking around in
the hope that I would see a really, a suitably sized branch on
the ground that I could just take back and use as my tailgate
prop.
That's a great idea.
That's a great idea.
Um, I know what else is a great idea is replacing the gas strut
on the tailgate like and stop being an absolute sleeve about it.
But anyway,
Well, we've got a letter here from, um, chap called Carl
Walston Holm.
Uh, how you pair a foot fine automotive or connoisseurs?
Wow, there's no insult there.
That's really quite surprising.
Um, I've always had a soft spot for Rovers, especially the
handsome 75.
And after hearing frequent references to Richard's beloved
Rover 75, I decided that if a car should ever come up that
matches my exacting requirements, I should pull the trigger and
just go for it.
Admittedly though, this isn't perhaps the most usual pursuit
of a chap in his mid twenties, but I've always enjoyed a
depreciated or deceased spec luxury car such as my X358 XJ
Sovereign Jag late last year.
Such a car came up via a contact in the Mark one focus preservation
club, another of my cars.
I'm riddled with this disease.
I didn't know that I love that.
Excellent.
Is that an actual club?
Um, it was exactly what I was looking for.
Copper leaf red, piped cream leather, connoisseur SE
Highline with every option, including full chrome grille, rear
blind, Harman, card and audio, sat-nav CD changer, TV, serpent
alloys, heated memory seats, factory carpet and rubber mats, part
wood, steering wheel, even the original brochures and two
genuine Rover pens.
Yes.
What struck me the most was the quality of this product, even
compared to my Jags, the carpets are thick and plush.
The panel gaps are tight, touch points pleasing.
Everything has such a feel of solidity that belies its
company's reputation.
Clearly the investments that BMW had made had paid off in this
product, even if the sales were slow at the time.
So here lies my question, guys.
In an alternative universe where BMW had decided to stay the
course and finish the job, would Rover have become a success?
Think about the product we know was in the pipeline, the L322
Range Rover, the Disco 3, the Range Rover Spowet, the new
Mini, all the first half of the decade.
Did they pull the plug too soon before the new high quality
product got a chance to turn things around?
Or was it in the bin fire that they were, why, or was it a
bin fire they were wise to run away from, even if it meant
taking a multi-billion pound right off?
I would love to hear your thoughts and maybe a little bit
more about your 75.
Many thanks, Carl.
Well, Carl, how long have you got?
I mean, but very briefly, in my view, I, because it's
interesting, he says, you know, there were, there was the
third Range Rover and the Discovery 3 and the Mini as well.
Yeah.
Coming along.
Yeah.
And those products have all been a success.
I mean, the Mini's a slow, was a slow one.
There's a whole story about that Mini and how, and when it
went on sale, the base model, the Mini one was not cheap,
no, really competitively priced.
It was sort of quite amazing that you could have that, which
felt like a much more sophisticated and expensive car than,
you know, a fairly low or mid-spec fiesta or something.
I think it was like 11 or grand or 11 and a half, something
like that.
And the Cooper wasn't loads more.
It felt quite good value at the time for what you were getting.
And part of the reason for that was that BMW panicked that no one
was going to buy it.
And so they deliberately priced it a bit, a bit less than they
were going to, I think, just so they could get people in the door.
Why would no one buy it though?
Looking back, it seems absurd.
I think they just, they just lost confidence in it, I think,
because it, but the problem with that car is that it wasn't
related to anything else they did.
No.
And, you know, this maybe would have made more sense if they'd
stuck with Rover because it would have been sensible to create
a small Rover, a Rover 200 replacement, I suppose, on the Mini
chassis, if that was possible.
Instead, it just existed this island.
So they had to sell a lot of them to cover its costs.
Mini wasn't a profitable exercise for a long, long, long, long time.
I mean, I think it struggles now, even as they dovetailed it with
the smaller BMs now they've gone front-wheel drive.
So I think that's the thing.
BMW would have had to have held their nerve because the cars that
Karl mentions, none of them are actual Rovers.
You know, the 75 didn't do brilliantly.
And I think some of that could be blamed on BMW, as in, you know,
sort of like when Burt Pitchery gave that speech, the motor show
where the 75 was announced kind of going, Rover's needs to
buck up its ideas.
It's a fucking nightmare.
I think I'm paraphrasing, but, you know, that was, it was, it was
badly timed and clearly meant to sort of fire a shotgun in the
air to get Rover to fall into line.
But, but I don't think that it's, I think it's all BMW's fault.
But equally, it's, you know, they did impose on Rover a certain
direction, because they, again, were terrified of Rover stealing
their customers.
If Rovers were sort of almost too sporty, that would have
trampled on BMW's patch, which is why, you know, most of the
things, they briefly considered making the 75 rear-wheel drive
sticking on a five-series platform.
And then they were so scared of stealing their own USP as the
ultimate driving machine that they then spent, effectively, they
spent more money to allow Rover to create a bespoke front-wheel
drive chassis for the 75.
They were just caught in this.
It doesn't make sense, though, to me, whichever one is more
successful, if you own both the companies, you still make the
money and you can then ride the wave.
Well, I suppose it's the idea that people are, you know, they're
choosing a Rover instead of a BMW not instead of a Mercedes or
an Audi or what sort of.
Oh my gosh, imagine if BMW brought Rover back now, it would
be the most handsome car that BMW currently makes by probably by
country mile without a great deal of effort.
I don't know.
I mean, that's the thing.
I, I just worry that Rover, I think you could have turned it
around because there was a brief sort of golden patch, I think
for Rover in its modern history, when the 200, the second
generation 200 came out in 89.
And that car just, it actually hit the sweet spot of what a Rover
should be at that point, which is to say that it had that sense of
sort of slightly classical luxury about it, but it wasn't too
backward looking.
It was just more tasteful and felt more expensive than an
equivalent escort, and it felt sort of tasteful and expensive in
a way that was slightly different to a Golf, particularly because
that round then the Golf Mark III came out and was, I was about to
say, sort of flimsy and shit.
Yeah, they hit a point where escorts were at an all time low
and VW wasn't as great as they had been.
I think the 200 was genuinely a decent car, but it also helped
that the escort and the Golf were hitting a low patch and the
Astro is sort of alright, but it's a, it's a voxel, isn't it?
It's like that Rover was just exactly what a Rover should have
been at that point.
It's just a little bit of a cut above just a bit.
We did a thing once on Top Gear about the Rover P5 that Hammond did.
And we came up with this line for the script about how a Rover
wasn't like a Rolls Royce or even a Jaguar.
It, but it was, it was just, it was, it was midweek luxury.
It was like going for a meal out on a Wednesday.
Yeah, it's sort of, it's just treating yourself, but you're not
going somewhere too fancy.
You just go to a pub or something.
But midweek luxury is, is a really sort of Rover idea.
You're not being too flash, not being too, you know, fancy about
anything, not being too indulgent, but just treating yourself
nice. I don't remember Hammond doing a P5 thing.
It's a long time ago.
So yeah, I think that's the thing partly as well.
BMW, you know, forced Rovers to be sort of soft and luxurious,
but there's no bad thing in that alone.
But I think Rover were also in charge of their own destiny and
they chose the path for 75, which was a little bit backward
looking. I mean, the 75 is a hell of a nice looking car to this
day, but I think I like it.
It was one of those cars where they, Richard Woolley, the guy who
designed it, or led the design, sort of came up with the original
concept. And if you look at the archives, the first styling model
looks pretty much like the production car.
It just, it was one of those cars that sort of arrived fully
formed. And apparently the bosses from Germany came over to
look at it and Wolfgang Reitzler famously detail orientated
stern critic of things, had no feedback.
He just was like, yeah, there you go. That's it. Do it.
And so when that was Rover, BMW didn't say make it tweedy and
chromey and stuff. They just, Rover was sort of feeling that was
the right direction and BMW endorsed it because it didn't
tread on their toes. But and also, while we're on this, it drives
me fucking nuts. And you still read this online to this day,
people going, oh, BMW only bought Rover to take Land Rover and
Mini and steal all their technology and know how.
It's like, they didn't because they spent, I mean, what's the
budget on the 75 was like 700 million quid or something like
that. You don't spend 700 million quid on a brand new platform
for a brand new car and refit factory and all this stuff. If
you just want to nick the good bits, I think BMW arrived with
good intentions, but they just didn't really know what to do.
And the things they thought they did know how to do were perhaps
misguided, you know, in terms of like being so paranoid about
losing customers that they would de-force Rover to be sort of
soft and comfy. And that, you know, that stuff that a lot of
the work that came out on the MGZ cars when they arrived after
BMW had buggered off was actually things the engineers have
been playing with behind the scenes anyway, but which they
knew that BMW would never let them do because it was sporty.
And it's like, no, we do sporty, you do luxury. And it's a bit
high, just you need to relax a bit here.
I think the colourful MGZ range was actually really popular. I
think it worked. It seemed people seem to buy into it. And
they were, I think they were pretty good value. And they did
things like that funky MG van, didn't they? They did a Z van.
Yes, the Express. Yeah, yeah.
So I think I mean, Carl, I could, as you can tell, I could
talk about this for bloody hours.
You could. I'd have to stop you though.
I know, I'm sorry. I will do like, we'll do a kind of like
special episode that you have to download separately for people
who want to hear more about this, because otherwise it's very
boring to people who don't give a shit.
You have to blink twice if you're if you're being under being
captive against you.
So yeah, that is great question, Carl, one that I will think
about now, probably for the rest of you know, why haven't why
haven't we as Smith and sniff bought a Rover 75? It almost
seemed so obvious that we haven't done it.
I was thinking about them again the other day. Anyway, Carl
sounds lovely as well. That's a great spec. Yeah. Since he
asks, mine was Dorchester red. There's a connoisseur, but it
was one of the cars that was on a boat to Japan when BMW
sold Rover. And Rovers in Japan were being sold by BMW's
distributors. So they went, we don't do that anymore. The boat
turned around and came back to the UK. And all these Japanese
spec cars were converted to UK spec and sold through the Rover
network and the new owners. So it has a slightly unusual spec had
slightly unusual spec doesn't exist that car anymore, sadly.
Well, while we're going to have to bring this to a close, but
why don't you are in your own time, Richard, spec your perfect
Rover 75 and then what's up it to me? And we can talk about
way ahead of you, man. All right, listen, well, thank you for
all your questions. If you've got one for us. Hello at
Smith and sniff.com is the address. We will do this all
again next Friday, normal show on Monday. Until then, goodbye.
Bye everybody.
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About this episode
The hosts dive into a lively discussion sparked by a listener's question about the Wu-Tang Clan lyric referencing 'rolling in MPVs,' revealing it specifically means the Mazda MPV, a discreet and practical vehicle favored for street-level drug dealing. They explore the concept of 'stealth wealth' in car choices, contrasting flashy vehicles with understated ones. Another listener seeks advice on consolidating two cars into one unique yet practical vehicle for transporting elderly parents, prompting suggestions like the Alfa Romeo 159 and late-model Saabs. The conversation also touches on Audi reliability myths and the appeal of rare, distinctive cars.
Jonny and Richard answer listeners’ questions about Wu-Tang Clan people carriers, a need to be the only one in the car park, weak excuses for selling or swapping cars, and what would have happened if BMW hadn’t bailed on Rover?
