Protect Your Family Jewels

The following is a production of Dirty Mo' Media.

Oh, yeah, this is where it's going to be, girl.

If we're going to hang out, open a bunch of jars,

you've got big, strong hands.

I'll...

Are you suffering from high-craft?

I'm working.

Working that mouth.

Hi, guys, Dale Jr. and I are back for our first episode

of our second season of Bless Your Heart.

We're in the Dirty Mo' Media studios.

How's it going, Hall of Famer?

Hall of Famer.

Yeah, it's Hall of Fame week. Oh, yeah. I figured I'd fluff you a little.

I am not going to get to go. No, that's Daddy Daughter Dance.

Daddy Daughter Dance. Yeah. Yeah, the Hall of Fame is inducting their folks,

and I'm going to have to miss it this year, but for good reason. Yes.

I'm good to answer your question. Oh, good. Glad we're back. I'm glad.

I'm glad we're back, too. I've been missing the squeaky chair.

I've been missing doing the show and yeah. We're excited to have Travis on board this year.

Looking forward to it. Oh, yeah. We got a new producer.

We have a new producer. You know him very well, though.

That was a surprise under the tree this morning. The tree is still up.

Some of the Christmas decorations actually are still up at our house.

The tree has been removed, but my lazy ass has piled. I'm gathering all the Christmas trinkets,

and they're all in this sitting room. The totes are there. I just haven't put the stuff in.

We talked about, yeah, it's happened. It'll happen. We've been busy.

There's literally not been kind of, for Amy at least, that I can recall,

there's not really been a day that just kind of, okay, I got the day to do

a project or do whatever I'm going to do this. I thought Elle might have taken the

initiative last week and put some of the stuff away. She just came back from a big trip.

Yeah. So right before the trip, though, I threw out my back, so I wasn't lifting anything.

Just this is part of being old. We talked about being a grain right before we started the show.

Travis is 38. He's on the cusp of graininess, and you better watch out. Your back's going to

start doing weird things. Your knees are starting to start creaking. You're going to start just

having boogers fly out of your nose for no reason. You'll be having bigger boogers accumulate

in the corners of your nose. I get that. I don't know if it's because it's maybe just too dry

right now with the air. I used to not have to worry about keeping that thing free and clear,

but it's more daily. They're everywhere? Yeah. Do you sleep with your mouth open?

I drool a lot. That's amazing. So you're drooling and snotty every

when you wake up and then running your crusty all over? Yes. I'm basically like a five-year-old.

This is why you're single. Well, I'm not. Oh my gosh. All right. All right. Should we talk about

the drink of the week presented by Hierarch Vodka? Yes. Today's drink of the week is a

Cosmopolitan. You know, hear about these? I don't know what's in them. What's one of my things?

But you hear people ordering these all the time. On a few occasions this year,

we are going to line up the cocktail that we have with Hierarch's Drink of the Week

on their social channels. So check out Hierarch's social channels. We put a lot of content out on

there and we'll be having, you know, whatever we're having here is likely going to line up with what

they're promoting. You can also review the recipes as well. Right. So the Cosmopolitan is a,

you got to combine all this in a shaker with ice, two ounces of Hierarch Vodka,

1.5 ounces of triple sec, 1.5 ounces of cranberry juice, a little lime juice,

shake and strain. You can put a little lemon twist on there if you want.

We got some lemon in there. It's a classic. This is a classic. It's slightly refreshing.

And very refreshing. It's very cold too.

Yeah, tart. I like it. It's kind of like a, you know, kind of way I like candy and stuff like

that says I could drink it. I didn't know. I don't think I've ever had a Cosmopolitan.

Well, it's like got a stigma because it's usually like it's a pink drink and it's in a martini glass.

That's why I call it the Cosmopolitan. I can't do the short version. You can't call it a Cosmo?

No, because that leans even further into the stigma, you know, the pink and

the femininity. Sounds like it's a, you know, drink a female would order.

It is. It's like the drink of sex in the city. It's also like a, like you're at the pool,

the like women by the pool getting, they're going to order some Cosmopolitan. Cosmos are the drink

from sex in the city. So like forever it was like the drink that Carrie always ordered on

sex in the city. So it definitely has like a girl stigma. This reminds me, y'all know Jade Gerst,

great friend and used to be the bud PR representative back in the 2000s.

And so when I would go to the race track or do anything bud wiser, Jade made it happen,

made sure we were on time. We go to the drive through and, you know, we all got our quirks.

I love picking on Jade because he's just so fun. Does he take it well? Yes. Yes. He and I had a

still today. He wrote a few books, driver number eight and stuff like that. But we were going

through the drive through fast food joint and he gets up there and I tell him what I want. He

knows what he wants. He speaks in the microphone. I would like the number three combination

and the number six combination. And I'm like, combination, combination. Never heard anyone do

that. What? I was like combo, man. Does it even say it says combo on the thing? Yeah. Dude, he was

not having it. He was going thoroughly into the, into the vocabulary, going going with the

common. I'm like, are you, do you say combination when no one's here? What are you doing that for?

He didn't do that. Just make you laugh. No, he was totally serious and I was like, hold up.

I have a friend that doesn't say deli. They say deli cont, like Delica. Yeah.

That's so extra. Yes. It's too much. It is too much. Well, I get it now because I would say

cosmopolitan, please. If I were to order this, I feel like there's a good chance you might now.

I'm still testing it. I'm still testing it. I'm still testing it. I'm not sure. I like the

tardiness of it, the citrus and whatever going on there. Tardy party. It's a lot. I mean, it's a

lot. You couldn't, you wouldn't want to stack them, but you could have one. No, they say two.

You know how you, two martinis is like race for your limit. It's kind of like that, you know,

Bud Light Lime and stuff like that. Like it's all right, but I can't drink. I drink beer all day.

I can't drink like a lime flavored beer all day. Oh, I could drink a lime. Yeah. All day. Yeah.

He's got these pickle beers. I know we talked about that and he's one or two. Man, they're so good.

Donnas, I believe they're called. Yeah. They are out of this world and,

um, and I'll go, that's the only thing I'd go to, uh, well, not really, but that drives me to the

lick, to the liquor store, to the total wine. Like I'm not a regular, uh, going to the total wine

or, or the ABC store, but for that, yes, sir. So I, um, fortunately I have my high rock hand

deliver, but, uh, yeah, that's right. You didn't have to go anywhere to get that. I don't have to

have to get something out. That, I know people will be like pickle beer. It's really literally,

you know how we'll drink, um, pickle backs, pickle juice to kind of like get the new, you know, get

your, let your lights back. People, people, some people think that helps some people don't. I do.

I drink it, got salt in it and all the things. If I'm hung over a little swear or two of pickle

juice. And this is like kind of getting your pickle juice while you're drinking. So it's

justifies, so it's a good hangover drinks. It literally is like pickle juice and beer.

And it sounds probably bad, but I'm telling you, if you're, if you're any kind of a pickle person,

or if you decent, you know, if you're, you know, you'll mind pickles, I would try it. Donus.

Travis is gonna run out as soon as we're done. I would give it a try. You know what? If it was

a guy's name, I wouldn't like it as much. I kind of like it. It's Donna. What is that?

He doesn't want Travis putting his cocktail together because that's a weird thing. He,

he doesn't like that, but he doesn't, he does like a named cocktail that's named after a woman.

That doesn't make any sense. It's a beer, but it's Donna's. What if it was Burt's pickle beer?

I wouldn't like it as much, but I probably still drink it. But I'm like, damn Donna,

you got something good on here. This is good. Damn Donna, but I wouldn't go to Burt and go,

hey Burt, bad ass. Don't you have a drink named after you? The Dale. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's delicious.

It is. It's a very, it'd be better. If it was the Amy, I'd be better. If it was the Amy,

yeah. I wouldn't mind. I'm not, you know, they, they have to call it the Amy,

Whammy or something stupid. They insisted in naming it the Dale. Yeah. I always was uncomfortable

with that. I was in on that name. I think it's great. It's great. It's like walking around with

your name on your belt. I don't, you know, never was one of those kind of people. I wouldn't even

have my name on my uniform. Like people put it on their name, their name on their belt of

their racing uniform. Yeah. Or on the, I don't, I didn't want my name. I didn't even love the,

the addresses on the back, you know, the at Twitter and the Dale junior.coms and all that.

I, I didn't like having, I didn't like wearing merch with my name on it anywhere,

like a hat. So they'd make hats, right? And it'd have a little Dale junior on the side.

Well, I would get mine without that, but you know, the same hat to think about have that on there.

But like, I know who I am. I don't need to have my name on my belt with myself.

It just felt like a look at me kind of thing, you know? It's understandable. Yeah. But yeah.

Anyhow, we got a lot of things that have happened. Obviously, we haven't done the

show in too often during the off season. We did a couple, but like I said earlier,

Amy's been on vacation. Amy went on vacation for a good chunk of time.

I did. I went on a girl's trip for the first time in a really long time. We went to celebrate

one of my girlfriend's 50th birthdays. The last time we all went on a girl's group trip was 10

years ago for her 40th. Wow. So, um, isn't that hard to believe? Well, all of us have little kids

and like we just went through this period of time. Like we would take small weekend trips here and

there, but not the entire group. Um, so it was a lot of fun. I have to have a girl's group that's

like, we ride at dawn if somebody's in trouble. So like we are stuck together like sisters and

cousins, like good and bad. Just depends on what's going on, but like we are very good girlfriends.

So very grateful to have my girlfriends, but we had a great trip, went to Turks and Caicos

and found about 20 conch shells. We were snorkeling every day on a conch hunt.

What are you, 12th? I'm sorry? You're hunting for conch shells?

Conch shells. Yeah. They're beautiful. They're big.

Those big giant conch shells. So like if we go on a trip to the Bahamas or something,

the girls want us to bring back something, but they don't need any trinkets or anything.

We don't, I don't like clutter. Like we're trying to get rid of that kind of stuff in the house.

So we would try to find conch shells or something pretty we could take to the beach house and like

set in the yard, whatever. That makes sense. And so Christy, one of Dale's cousins and I are

great friends and she too has two kids that appreciate a conch shell. So we were on a conch hunt

the entire time we were there and then we went out on a boat twice. The second day we were there,

we found like the mother load and we're in like two to three feet of water, not that much. So

but we're snorkeling all over the place and she comes up and at one point she's got three of them

laid out on her arm. Like she's been doing it her entire life. So we had an entire table full

of conch shells to bring home. I didn't eat them. We ate one on the boat. He made some ceviche.

But after the last one I pulled up, he looked at me with his little eyeballs and I was like,

oh, hey buddy. And I couldn't do it after that. I couldn't order conch at the restaurants, couldn't

do it after that. He looked like a little cartoon. Like I saw the little antenna eyeballs.

I've never had conch. Ruin it for me. But it was fun finding them. There's so many. But girl strips

are going to happen more often. Dad stayed with the girls. I messed up. He had a great time. I messed

up, did a good job. He did a really good job. We've reached the next level of the game now.

He's leveled up. He's got more trips. So I'm out. I'm gone. He had the download that week that

you were gone. And on Tuesday, he's telling us, you got this. This is me and the girls, Amy's

way. Like this is easy. And then we're like, it's Tuesday morning, Dale. He's already celebrating

his victory. You're 48 hours in. We were not going to talk about that. He texted me after

he picked them up from school that day. And he's like, this is great. And I'm having a good time.

But dad, he's really tired. I think he took an app because he had some assistance. April came in on

Tuesday afternoon. And I think he actually took an app that afternoon. But yeah, it was, it was

great. They had a good time. I left and it got freezing. So they had to stay inside. But there

was a lot of activities happening. And I think they kept them busy. But I also left with Nicole

in a full on crazy attitude. Like she's been like on one for months. And I come back and it's gone.

So I don't know what happened. What kind of a magic voodoo happened when I was gone. But the kid is

she's found her manners again. So that's another reason I feel like I should leave more often.

Yeah. You know, dad's authority did something great to that child. So

Now, do you when you go on vacation, are you able to

separate? Are you like having that like mom guilt you miss him and like wanting to stay in touch?

I could separate no problem. They want to FaceTime me. So it's like, okay, now's a good time. I haven't

started into the margaritas yet. You know what I mean? Yeah, don't try to call me at dinner time.

We've been at it all day. You know, I mean, this is so funny. So when I if I leave, I

we don't have a conversation about this. So really, none of us, we don't like have a plan.

There's no rules or whatever. But when I go out of town, I feel this obligation to be like,

I'm, I'm good. We're, we're fine. We're okay. We're doing this. We're here. We're here. And

we're planning to do X, Y and Z. And that's it. And Amy doesn't really care. I mean, Amy's not

caring about this as much as I think. But when Amy goes out of town,

then she just like, you might hear from her around breakfast or right after breakfast before lunch

and nothing for the rest of the rest of the day. And you'll get up in the morning and be like,

Hey, y'all still good? I'll even text the other folks on the trip. Hey, man, y'all all right?

Amy's not answering her phone. And she'll lose it. Is she alive? Did she throw her back out again?

I know she okay, especially on this trip because of she left with her back a little. I slept on

the ice pack the whole night before because it tried to go out on me the night before I was

leaving. I was like, Oh, no. When that happens, Amy's down flat out on the couch, can't move,

can't do anything and totally uncomfortable. And I thought that maybe it could have happened. I

don't know. It just hadn't heard from her for a while. But yeah, she'll she'll go 12, 18 hours.

If we've talked about this, I'm gonna lose in my phone. Well, that's I tried very hard to make

sure that I was responsible and I left my phone in my room so that I didn't lose the damn thing.

That's fine. I wasn't in the oceans. Not as easy as finding in the middle of a casino. You know

what I'm saying? You can't search for it there. You've taken two trips in 10 years. Like we don't

have like a we don't have once it gets like understood and comfortable and yep. Amy's

because my buddies, they got some of their wives and they're better. They're better at

communication. Wives are on the trip to some of them weren't. Yeah, some of them. They were like,

Hey, man, y'all heard from the girls. Yeah, it'd be me one day texting the guys y'all heard from

the girls. Then it'd be the other guy the next day. Have y'all heard from the girls? You know,

because it'd be a different mom, you know, ghosting us that every other day. I feel like no news is

good news. There was no effort in ghosting. It was just like, we were in a moment relaxed in the

water. We were cotton man. We were not worried about our phones. Yeah, if you're not hearing from

them, that's a good thing. I think so too. And honestly, when I'm not hearing from him, I feel

the same way. Like if you don't need to check in, if you don't need answers to questions,

then you're good. But I also left a very detailed to do. Here's everybody's contact

information. Here's this is that. And the other he addresses like he had no question. He should

have had no questions, but yeah, we checked in and he had a guy's group, like a support group.

So some of the other guys on lives are on the trip. Yeah. And so immediately we all got together

on a group text and we're like, Hey, man, we're up and Adam this morning, kids,

teeth, the brush, we're going to be out of the house on time. Oh, drop off went good. Y'all

drop off go good. No, first, the first morning, one of the other ones didn't. Yeah. So like we

were consistently like walking each other through. So it was a support group. First couple of days.

Single dads. Oh yeah. We, um, we had a great week and I, that was the first time I'd really

been left to take care of the kids for sustained period of time. And it was a success. And now

he's comfortable to go on more trips, which would be fair though.

What trips for Amy means more trips for me. Cause like it's a one for one. When she goes,

I go, that's the way it works. It just said it out loud. He sure did. Is that not right?

I mean, I wouldn't have asked him Travis. I wouldn't have said, I would have been like

two for Amy, one for me. I was going on my trip. At this point, I've got backlogs to get

caught up. There's interest. She needs to be paid very retroactively. Right. Amy,

I had planned a trip to go away when Amy came back, but I left to, I left like in transition.

Like I left that morning high five. He left before I got home. I was gone before she got

back to the house. I had a forestry entry with no support. I got home and I was like, dang.

After all those days of raising hail, I, um, I went to the beach and set at a bar and drank beer

for a couple of days. He was more hungover after his two day trip than I was after my

four day trip. That helps around man. I got one fastball. We day drink and we sleep all night.

It was glorious, but yeah, I drank and then a night drink. Do you have a trip planned already?

Cause that's what you should do is while you guys still in that high, let's lock this trip

and now because the girls are going to get busy and forget. So what we decided is we're all going,

we have, it's all my fantasy footbally girls too. So we're going to meet for our crowning

brunch on the 31st. And it was supposed to be Sunday, but with the snow and everything,

we're going to push it back. We were going to do this hat game where everybody puts in

a destination they want to go to and nothing lame. Like if you put an Asheville, you're,

you don't get to go on the trip. You know what I mean? Yes. It has to be something cool.

And then we're going to pull the names out. We're not going here. We're not going here

until we get to the last one. And that's where we're going to go. And we're going to play in the

next one. They love that. Cool. I'm just going to take the guys to the beach. We're going to drink.

And listen to whatever pop punk Dale puts on the radio. I can't control the radio at the

bars down there. And whatever else Amy puts on the touch jins. But I like the day drink and

then try the night drink. And then I door dash breakfast. So whoever's awake first gets the

breakfast off the porch. Amy door dashed us breakfast. If I didn't, they wouldn't have any

food. He wouldn't let me deliver groceries. Like when he first got there, I was like,

please make sure there's at least water, some sodas, whatever to drink essentials. And so they

had those things and TP and they were pickle beer. Pickle beer. And so I was door dashing

breakfast every morning. Yeah. Yeah. Well, um, we are expecting a big storm. And so have y'all

y'all be obviously, I mean, you can't not follow what's been going on over the last three or four

days. They were predicting this insane, you know, foot of snow, six inches of snow in Charlotte,

getting everybody all riled up. I fell for it. And I feel like it's still a good, a good thing

to get riled up over woke up the next woke up a day later. And they're like, well, it's moved.

The target for the snow has moved north a thousand miles, which is not good for us. Cause now we're

in this situation where we're going to get a ton of ice and that tears up the trees and the power

lines and all that stuff. And so we're not sure what we're going to experience over the next

couple of days, but I'm still hoping for snow. I just want to go outside and play. I think everybody

prefer snow over the ice. Have you done any extra shopping, Amy? I've been going to do

extra shopping every single day, picking up snacks as I'm picking up the snacks. They're

eating them. So like by the time we actually get to the snowstorm, the snacks are going to be

dwindled. We're fine down. We are fine. So two things. Um, if you have like an outdoor plumbing

of like a sink or anything, anything that's outside the walls, your house, get you one of

them light clamps and he liked heat clamp lights and plug that dude in. I got, I did that this

morning. We got a little sink outside and I put a little light down there. Yeah. Yeah.

Downstairs in the kitchen, a pool kitchen. There's a sink. And so you put a little clamp and a heat

lamp and it's on a temperature sensor. So when it gets to a certain degrees, it turns the light

on. So it ain't on all the time, which is fine if you want to leave it on all the time. But

the other thing too is drip your faucets. So like get a faucet. Oh, get it dripping and just leave

it. Go into your house anywhere and turn on the faucet that you don't use because you'll turn,

you know, if you use it, you're going to turn it off. You'll use it, wash your hands, whatever

you're doing, then turn it off or get to leave it to drip. Go find a faucet or a, or something that

you're not going to use and turn it to a very, very slight drip and leave it. And I like to put

some paper towels down in the bottom because it splashes water everywhere, you know, after it drips

for a while, it just sprinkles water all over the top of the sink. And so the napkin is a PBS special.

I'm just helping people out there. We need to be helpful. They turn, they tune in to laugh,

but they also need some assistance and some good stuff up on snacks, booze, candles,

fire clickers, drip wipes. I'm worried about not being able to flush the toilets. The power

goes out. We get one flush and we don't have a generator plug at our house. We don't. We can't

generate our house. Nothing, but we, nothing will work. I have a generator. It'll run the camper.

So we got our camper from camping world. And that's like a last resort. So if we need to

get a cooler and save some of our groceries, we'll run them down to the camper and

I mean, we just set the groceries on the porch. Yeah. So you don't need, yeah,

whatever. I'm just great idea. My point is we're not going to be in trouble.

We've set grandpa off. I'm just saying, I got it. We can do for food.

We have frozen steaks and ground beef. We have a gas stove. So even if it doesn't ignite,

we can have the clicker. We can just turn the gas on. And I've got a generator that'll run any,

we got appliances and electrical cookers and grills and all that stuff downstairs.

We got a little, that little cheap flat iron grill. We got a little cheap flat iron electric

grill. We'll just heat off of that. It's fine. I'm, I'd be, I'd appreciate the challenge.

You know, it doesn't make sense. The people that stock up on toilet paper.

Exactly. Bread, milk and toilet paper. Where are you going to put all that?

Well, let me ask you a question. Are you going to more? No, no, no. Let me ask you a question.

So, I guess they were, they're not going to have it be able to get out for rights.

That's the thing. So I, I weren't, I wondered about that too. Cause during COVID that was,

that was toilet paper was the thing before COVID when we'd have storms or anything like that was

always milk and bread, you know, milk and bread, milk and bread. And then all of a sudden COVID came

and it was like toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper, like all of a sudden toilet paper shot

to the top and a big giant thing of toilet paper right now is like almost $30. But like,

to your point, like why? I think people truly believe that they might be in such a situation

to where they cannot go get toilet paper. And that would be the worst thing that could happen

is running out of toilet paper. That's, I'm assuming that's what's in their mind.

Like running out of toilet paper would be pretty tragic.

None of us have experienced it. I mean, we have in some small scenarios where you're in the bathroom

and you're like, somebody use the last. The cabinet's too far away. I've done my duty here.

Somebody has, I didn't even look and the rolls empty. You gotta do the waddle over.

Yeah. Now we're wobbling.

And I'll tell you who, if we have an empty roll on the toilet paper roll, it's, it's Nicole.

100%. 100% Nicole. Yeah. She'll throw the roll in the trash can though. She does,

she does do that, but she doesn't, she can't open the cabinet. It's hard. It like folds down.

And there's, well, I go into something. I've got that one bathroom over in the computer room.

I'll go in there and the toilet paper will be rolled off into the floor.

Isla does that too. I'm like, y'all, they just play with it like cats, you know.

They sit there and just watch it do whatever it does. That gets funny. Do you have any

storm essentials? Well, I'm in an apartment. So it's like, got all them people to support you.

No, but I don't have, I haven't got all the people around you to save your ass when something,

when you're, when you're, when you're low on toilet paper. It's like you go to one person's

house and use it up and then you go to the next person and everybody's together. I might just

go stay at a friend's this weekend. Like I don't like, or I might just hanging out.

If I knew that power is not going to go out, I'm good, but the second power goes out when

you're living alone during go nuts. Plus you don't have any wifi too. And

our wheel of the phones don't work that well. So now I'm just sitting there.

Well, we've got a wifi. We've got the internet. We got the Elon internet. So

I'll just fire that thing up. I forget about that thing too. Cause it's on the camper.

But yeah, I haven't bought anything yet, but I mean, you don't, there's not,

you don't need a ton of food and then beer and you're good. It should be fine.

It's good. It's good. The only thing I'm curious about is I've got work to do Monday

and next weekend is it going to be icy and not going to be able to,

we're going to have to, you know, cancel some responsibilities.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're going to, you need to look into that. The girl,

the kids aren't going to have school. If it rains too hard, they cancel school.

But I, I feel like it's, I don't know. I always feel like when they people freak out,

you don't get really what it's just supposed to get.

The buildup is just not that big of a deal. Yeah. It's usually what it works.

I have a funny story about Nicole since we're talking about family stuff and kids.

It was before I left for my trip. I picked her up from school

and you know how kids are like, you can't just say how was your day and then they'll

just tell you how their day was. You have to ask them like in a riddle style questions.

Like, do you think fun happened today? Do you think funny happened today?

Anybody get in trouble in class today? So I was like, Hey, Nicole, how, you know,

how was school? Did you have a good day? Was, was it a fun day at school? And she's like,

no, but something bad happened. I'm like, she's in preschool. What kind of bad could

happen at preschool? But there's nothing but chicks in her class. See, there's no boys.

But my mom flag goes up and like, something bad happened. Are you okay? Did everything,

are you like, what happened? That's bad. And she's like, I don't want to talk about it.

And I was like, Oh Lord. And at this point, she's just behind me in the car. So I tilt my

mirror down so I could see her face. And I'm like, what do you mean something bad happened?

Is it something I should call your teacher about? And she goes, no, like what a preposterous thing

that you would want to do that. And I'm like, well, then what happened? She goes, kindness, mom,

everybody was so kind today. And I was bored. I'm like, Oh my God. That's what she's bothered by

is it's, you know, just everybody being nice at school like they're supposed to.

So that's, that's what I left in a nutshell. I was picking her up from school when Amy was

going on her trip. And which I don't ever pick her up. Amy picks Amy does Nicole's school pickups

and drop offs. I do I was so I don't really ever get to really go get Nicole. So I'm standing by

the door. The teacher sees me goes inside gets her brings her to the doorway. And there's a

in the hall. And this little girl looked at Nicole and said, bye, Nicole. And Nicole goes,

bye, because Nicole was in a great mood because I was picking her up daddy, daddy, daddy.

And that girl looked at her mom goes, mom, Nicole was nice to me said it just like that.

I mean, is she the class bully? I've heard nothing bad from the teachers. I'm a little concerned.

I was like, color, you not always nice. Like a big surprise when you're nice.

I know, but we're not getting notes or calls or communication from her teachers that, you know,

she's anything but a normal he's a going student. I feel like they're all scrappy or something's

going on in that class. If the teacher isn't saying something to you, then I don't think

I think you're nothing to worry about overthinking. Maybe she's just more matter of fact and some

kids are just yeah, maybe it's a mystery. Yeah, I think you're good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not worried

about it. I'm not calling the teacher to find out. I'm not worried. No, no, no, you never call.

Yeah. Yeah. It's alarming. It's a little alarming when you have kids like you are

oversensitive to all those things. Like, Oh my God, am I raising a good person? It's always at

the top of mind. Yeah. And in those moments, you're like, Oh God, where do we go? Where do we go

wrong? That's the thing with Isla. You know, she turned out she's turned out awesome. And with

Nicole, I don't think we did anything wrong. It's just who she is. She is like

full full throttle. Full. She's got her own personality and

like we didn't like whatever's different in there is nothing we did.

It just came. It came like that. She came like that.

That's what stock coal is. Hey, man, did you do those modifications to that truck?

No, I bought it like this. Yeah. It came like that. Yep.

That flare was in there already. That's how it came. Yeah. So I love IT.

I do. And when I get a little free time at home, a lot of times I tend to pick up a

project that's electrical in nature or you'll find something that you can take apart and put

back together. So the room where the server is though is poured concrete. It's like almost

like a safe room. So there's no service down there. Even if he takes his phone for whatever

he's doing, there's no getting ahold of Ralph if he's downstairs messing with the computers.

But I took all I bought new towers that are four foot tall because all of the year over the years

over through burning up, getting hit by lightning, getting rid of stuff that I don't need anymore.

You know, you know, DVD players and stuff like that. Yeah. And so I tore, I tore all of the

components out of the tower and then reinstalled what I wanted in a short tower. And I did that

I've got towers on every floor. And I did this to two towers. And boy, that's like a two day

process. That's like a two day job. But it's so much fun. Like if I didn't make it in racing,

I'd probably be in IT. I'll take your word for it. That sounds boring. I freaking love it.

He starts talking about it. I'm like, I know it just happened with our listeners. Yeah.

We lost everybody. I'll take the light switches. I'll take the light switches apart and fix them.

Everybody right now is filling up the toilet paper on the handles or whatever you call it.

Check in their toilet. Everybody check in their toilet paper. Check in the water.

Making sure they're dripping faucets. Hey, if that's a hobby for you, it's a hobby for you.

It's a hobby for me. Yeah. Yeah. You can come home and there will be wire strong all the way

through the house. He's re literally rewiring things like, God dude, I know you can fix this,

but why? I mean, I kind of wish I had those. I just don't have the skills and don't care.

I can't stand something being in it. I can't stand a component like being in one of those

towers that's not being used or not plugged in or, you know, and the extra wires that go to it,

they can all go away. Everything get cleaner, simpler. I get,

um, he gets twitchy. OCD. Yeah. He gets twitchy. He opens the closet and he's like, uh,

what do you call that? Got to fix that. Yeah. Like I got to fix it. It's driving me crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. Just wanted to share that.

Thanks for that story, Ralph. That's what I'm doing these days.

I just wanted to say that I was late today. We were going to do this show

earlier an hour earlier, but I had a crown come off last night while I was eating dinner and I

went to the dentist this morning. I might, we talked about this on our Dale Jr. download,

how great my dentist is texting, right? When it happened, he said, come in eight o'clock in the

morning. I was there. Amy had to take both kids at school this morning and a glued crown right

back in. No problem. I've got a temporary, uh, next Wednesday, I get the permanent one put in

on this crown was done six years ago. And I was like, I was like, is it unusual for them to come

out? And she's like, Oh yeah. She's like around five, six years. The glue starts to get, well,

he's eating his dinner and he choose stuff very hard. Like you can hear him chewing from across

the room. And I am sensitive to that. I'm like one of those people, but I look over, I'm like,

he's in the middle of eating and he's not stopped eating. He's going to finish eating his dinner.

It's not like it alarmed him enough where he stopped eating. It popped out and he put it on

the table and it kept eating his dinner. Did it? Your mouth hurt? No. Well, I asked him,

my tooth is fine. He's like, how much candy have I been eating? What does that have to do with

anything? Like, because you used to tell me if I eat certain types of candy, it'll pull my crowns

off my teeth. And so, you know, considering how much time he's been suspended downstairs on this

IT work, I thought maybe he's been munching on fireballs or who knows what else down there.

It was nerds, nerd ropes. So we did get, so when I was with the boys, uh, Friday night,

we were sitting at Pose drinking beer at the bar and one of the boys ran down to the gas station

to get some scratch offs. And I did get him to get some nerds clusters. So we did have

a few nerds clusters about 10 o'clock at night. I have some of my bag. Yeah. I had some, I have

some at the house and I threw them away this morning. It's for the best. It is for the best.

But a lot of people will be, um, so I, I am very adamant with our girls about brushing their

teeth. And so I, I didn't do as good a job over the years when I was younger about taking,

taking better care of my teeth. And so I have a few crowns and, um, dad had a ton of crowns.

That's what you told me. Yeah. When I told Dale, I cracked my tooth on New

Year's Day and he goes, well, don't worry. Dale Earnhardt had 11 crowns. So you're,

you can still be great. Yeah. You can still achieve greatness.

You can still achieve greatness cause they learn how to have 11 crowns, 11.

That's hilarious. Yeah. It's the flossing that I forget to do sometimes. And I think that's

actually where you have the bigger issues. It's not the brush of the teeth.

It's great. It's an internal thing. No, no, no. I gotta, I gotta fix for the flossing.

Like me too, I've too struggled with being a flosser, regular flosser. And so I, um,

I get cleanings every four months instead of six. And so because as I've gotten older,

I've realized I need to do a better job. And so I go to the dentist more often,

but, and they'll always ask you, you're a floss. I'm like, no, but, um,

but I did eat some beef jerky today. That's it. If you are a regular customer of jerky boys,

beef jerky, I promise you, when you go to the dentist the next time you're cleaning,

you will proudly tell them, I am a regular flosser.

Buy this beef jerky and get a good.

Not only are you eating something very delicious and good for you, lean, low on calories,

but you're also now a regular flosser. Exactly what your dentist wants you to be.

That's hilarious. Gums will be healthier and happier.

Just saying. That's what's happened to me. That's what's happened to me. So

he's going to tell the girls this and now they're going to be asking for beef jerky now.

Oh, he pushes it off. Yeah, dude. I'm like, y'all.

He brings that back to the couch. He's like, he's, he stands in front of everybody passing

it out like, like grandma. I'm like, they're always like, we won't always want snacks.

Yeah. We sit down, we sat down the other night to eat dinner and Nicole had some rice

and earno some mac and cheese and chicken. I cut up for her and she's like, awesome.

She's eating a little bit and then she stops and she's like, I'm done. I was like,

eat one more piece of chicken. She's like, I don't want it because it has that.

And she points to a little charred mark. She doesn't like grill marks or anything.

She didn't know what that is and don't want it on there. So I cut the char mark off and here. Okay.

And so I throw it away and she goes and sits on the couch and goes, I want some pretzels.

I'm like, no, she's like, I want a snack. I'm like, we just, we're eating dinner and you just

said you were done and they made me throw it away. And now, no, no, you're not doing it.

Like, you don't, they can't, they can't like yet. She's just at that age group where snacks are

life. Yeah, it's just what it is. Every, every five minutes that kid wants a snack and you,

you gotta, you gotta be watching cause she goes to the cupboard. She'll be in there.

She'll monkey climb all the way up to the top and get whatever you can't hide anything from her.

I've said this before, she's like living with a raccoon. She's quiet and able and she will get

into anything and she'll leave a trail of things like she'll close the door to the pantry and

sit in there and eat the snacks and then put the snack packages back into the snack box,

walked in there the other day to organize all the gummy snacks and those fruit strips that I buy.

Half the damn box was empty, empty wrappers. She just gets one and slips it right back in there.

Yeah. You need to put a lock on the door, a little keypad. I can't do that. That would be too much.

That'd be too, we would forget the code. That's like, that's what they did to me.

I stole that money from daddy's change jar and they put locks on every door and scarring.

He's still traumatized from it. Maybe feel like an outcast. Oh my gosh.

You didn't do it again though. Yeah. Did we tell that story?

Where I stole all the money out of the dad's change jar to buy the Game Boy and he's like,

how'd you get that? I'm over there playing it on the couch and he's like, yes, we have.

He's nonchalantly just playing this new game system that he never crossed my mind that they would go.

How'd you get the money to buy that? Yeah, where is that? It's 80 bucks. Where'd you get that?

But that's what happened. Yeah. I'm over there. I'm over there like, hell yeah.

And the local pawn shop and the pawn guy called his dad and was like, hey man,

I got one of your business cards. I wonder where Nicole gets this from.

Right? She looks like me and acts like him. Really. We're in trouble.

She's like this mighty little force. Yeah.

She did it. Her getting the gummy bear packages and putting them back in the box is absolutely me.

She'd lie straight to your face if you ask her who did it.

Yeah. Yeah. That's full circle. I love when they eat the jerky because I just feel like

that when they're wanting snacks, it's typically gummy bears. Yeah, sugar. It's all sugar. Cinnamon,

sugar pretzels, all sugar. What's the chocolate? Nutella. Nutella? Where the hell that come?

I've never had Nutella in my life. I've never had a Nutella until like

probably about five, six, 10 years ago, Steve LaTart's eating it. And I'm like, what is that?

Where'd this come from? He eats Nutella and marshmallow fluff sandwiches, which

where did this come from? They make these little snack packs with Nutella on one side,

Nutella rags on the other side. Decades ago? Yes, it was. Was? Yeah. Well, I wasn't into

the thing. I don't know. No one ever talked about it. Well, it was European. It's a European

based company. So maybe it wasn't like such a thing here. I've always wondered like

brioche buns, were they a thing when I was younger and my family just couldn't afford it or

didn't want it? Or like, when did brioche buns become the rage? They're everywhere now.

I don't know. Like bakery bread is far more popular. Like you got wonder bread. You got whatever

loaf was around. I like the old school wonder bread. Just the color of the package gives me a

good nostalgia. Yeah, even though it could be, I don't care what it tastes like.

Hey guys, Dale, Junior and I are back in the Dirty Mo Media studio for our very first episode

of bless your heart for our second season. And we're ready for your questions. What you got?

The first question comes from Jamie and she wants to know where do you guys keep your phone

when it's on your person? Like in your pockets? When you keep your phone on your person? Yeah,

24 seven, which is why I lose it so much. But yes, like I don't, unless I have my purse on me,

I'm not going to have it put away. You don't put it in your pocket, your hoodie pocket, nothing.

Every once in a while, but I feel like it's dragged me down. It's uncomfortable.

Dale always walks around with his in his back pocket and he hates it. I do hate it because

it wears his one pocket out and he looks like he's got saggy bottom. I got one pocket when I

take the phone out after a few, you know, after a while, I got one baggy pocket, one really worn

out pocket worn out. It's like a stretched pocket and one regular pocket. Aren't you afraid though

that also like it's going to fall out or someone could take it back there. So I don't know what's

happening. That's what I'm saying. I'm not worried because I can't see it happening. He only does

it in the house out of mind. If he's out running around, I don't feel like you put that in your

back pocket. I wear my pair. I wear, this is a brand new pair of pants. I pulled the tags off

this morning. I wear these for three days. Yeah. I don't think anything wrong with that. So I put

my phone in my back pocket and on day two, three, it's kind of a little bigger than the other pocket.

The right one's a little off-sided. And she also says it makes my ass look bigger or something.

Like weird. No, it looks like pancake. You have a bubble butt. Like it makes it look different.

I'm like, what is going on over there? Quit that. Do you ever put it in a front pocket when you're

traveling? I don't want to put it in my front pocket because I don't want it close to the jewels.

The proximity to the jewels is so much different if it's in your back pocket.

Look, I don't know what's going on with this thing and what it might be doing. They say you're

not supposed to sleep close to a charging phone and your mother had that issue. She had a,

she carried her fold flip phone in her bra and then she was a teacher and like,

so she just stick it in her shirt and she ended up with breast cancer and she's,

she's pretty sure that that's what caused the tumor right there because it's close

where she just keeps it. So you don't know, but I'm like, you know, I'd rather have to

try whatever it's doing to me. I'd rather have to travel through the fat of my ass and lay it right

up next to the jewels. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes, Elvis. We know what you're saying.

I'm thinking my ass is giving me a little saving my ass is saving me. We're going to keep that ass

fat and we're going to keep the jewels safe. That's what we're going to work on. I mean,

that's only my brain work. They didn't say like, don't put a laptop on my science.

He doesn't. He does not carry a laptop and put it on his lap. Yeah. Like they're saying,

like if you're using a laptop, it shouldn't be on your lap. Right. Because of the jewels. Yeah,

the jewels. I'll lay in bed. If your jewels are as precious as Dale's, you'd better not put it on your

lap. Yeah. He's red. We did it. We turned it red. Yeah. If you're laying in the bed,

I'll lay in the bed and do an iPad and I get, you know, I'm like,

really laying that across your chest, you know, I don't know. We don't know why all these tablets

and all this stuff is like, and this is like the radiation from two decades of technology here

that we don't have real information on on what it's truly doing around us. I don't know. I'm not.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist on that kind of stuff, but I don't want if I'm if I'm

unknowingly like doing some damage to myself, I don't want to learn that down the road. So I'd

rather in my scientific mind, I'm putting it in my back pocket. That's safer than carrying it in my

front. It Bill Nye over here says, I'll sleep next to it with the next in my head, but I ain't

going to put it in my front pocket. Yeah. Where do you sleep with? I don't sleep. I don't plug it in

around, but it don't matter. Yeah. It's a phone. I had board. But yeah, look, I'm not, I agree that

there's holes and so that explains why there's issues up here. There's a lot of holes and flaws

in my, um, in the way my, my, my mind works. But I say this too, like I don't carry it around

in my pocket as much anymore, like intentionally, like I like, like right now, like I don't want

it in my front pocket when I can set it over here, right? That makes sense. And it's uncomfortable.

They're too freaking big. Like we had, we had to keep making them bigger and bigger and bigger.

And of course I'm going to get the bigger one because it gets, you know, the new ones bigger,

got it. Well, they make them a little bigger, like a little bit bigger and I'm going to go buy it.

I wish they'd have never done that because they used to be playing into your masculinity.

But I know, and they used to, well, I had the small phone, the small version of the new phone,

and I've got all my old ones. I got my threes, my S threes. Well, I got every iPhone that we've

ever bought. I still have it. And the original ones were so small and easy. Like a toy. Convenient.

I'm walking into the stadium at Kansas City for a Chiefs game, Thursday night game,

or maybe it's a Monday night game. Either way, I'm doing this for NBC, me, LaTarte, all of us,

Jeff Burton and Rick Allen. And we're, we're going in there with NBC to do like a little

pregame sideline deal. And we're with one of our big NBC bosses. He's the head guy of our sports.

He's got his big max iPhone out and I've got my little one out. And he goes, he goes,

man, you know, in the line of work you're in, you ought to have the big phone. Everything on,

you know, everything's video. Big dog. Damn. It made him feel silly with his little

things. Mine's bigger. He goes into a lot of work with video and we're, you know,

broadcasting everything. Yeah, we're going to, we're going to watch a lot of stuff on this thing.

You ought to have the bigger screen. I was like, I, I, I captain, you got it.

And now, you know, you barely can carry it on you. You barely can carry it.

You almost need a purse. I mean, you almost need a purse. You almost need a dolly, maybe behind

you, carry it. You could put a little trailer hitch on your belt. This is getting out of control.

Okay. Sorry. It is. Do we have another question? We even have people watching this.

Next question is, if you could choose one of the girls movies to never see again,

what movie would that be? I ain't saying I had one little comment about Bluey and,

and got drug on the, on all, all the Bluey fans out there because I want a little comment critique,

but uh, really? Yeah, I don't want to even relive this. So

Bluey's great. Love Bluey. Oh lord. What have we been watching so much lately? They've been watching

this emoji movie the last couple of days and I had never sat through that one and it's kind of weird.

Not terrible. It's not bad. They got a new one with the Fox. What's the, the, the, they're on the

heist. I don't know. Um, you know, they're going, they're, they've been watching it over and over.

The zoo, the zoo movie. There's a new one in the theater right now. Right. They've been watching

that one. That's pretty decent. They're not hammering down and watching anything as religiously

as they were. So it's been easier. Like bouncing around, watching different movies and different

things. So nothing too bad. That's good. Honestly, we're, it's actually, we're in a good phase right

now. I will say probably making a mistake here. We watched a lot of cocoa melon, right? When we

were younger and uh, when the kids were younger, we had, we were in this phase of cocoa melon,

right? And I thought that we would move down from cocoa melon because they sort of, you know,

they sort of graduate to different things, but Nicole still loves cocoa.

They just loaded it on the Netflix. So she's found it on there and wants to watch it.

And it's like nursery rhymes and very baby oriented. So it's a little triggering.

It is a little trigger. That is a little bit. I don't let them watch the Barbie stuff on Netflix

either. Cause sorry Barbie, but the, the shows are catty. Yeah. They're like mean girl kind of

stuff. And I don't want the girls talking like that. Yeah. You don't want to learn those things.

Yeah. We're already combating enough with Nicole. Like we don't really need Barbie

giving her extra ammo, you know? Yeah. There is some truth to the girls will hear things.

They hear, you know, the girls will repeat things that they hear in shows. And so,

and they'll tell us too where they heard it. They'll say something to their sister about being

stupid or, or I'm not going to be your friend anymore. And they're just bro playing or having fun.

And, but they'll say it and we'll be like, where'd you hear that?

Yeah. We don't say that to you. Where'd you hear that? Yeah. And they'll tell you the show.

They'll be like, Oh, it's in this show. Block. Yeah. No more of that.

All right. Next question is rank the top nights of a four night trip in order of best to worst

in the night before the trip counts. So you have five selections. So like five selections,

the night before plus night one, two, three and four. Rank the what? You have a four night trip.

Yep. You rank your nights in order of best to worst. The first night before counts.

I think we'd both agree that the night before the trip is going to be in the back. Yeah,

least favorite. It's a little stressful packing and all the things getting organized.

And you're, you're like, relaxation doesn't actually start yet. Oh, see, I'm amped up.

Yeah. When you're, when you're single, when you don't have kids and you're like,

get to anticipate, your girl anticipation is more exciting. It's a piece of cake for me.

Okay. I'm going to take the days of the trip and they are, if there are how many, five,

five, four, four, four nights and you got to put them in order, right? Four nights,

including the night before, which is five. Yep. Right.

Night one on the trip is all, is going to be the blowout. You can't help it. You get there.

You're excited. We tried over and over and over on trips, especially going down to Key West.

Let's not go as hard on night one, but you can't help it. So the first night is number one,

followed by the second night, followed by the third night. The last night of the trip is the

worst of all five. Is it worse than the worst than the night before the trip? The last night on

the trip is sucky because, and I just experienced this with my friend, Sean. It was Friday. It was

and Saturday we had one more night and we're going to get up and drive home. And I tried so hard to

get him to drink a few beers and he was like, nope, I'm tired. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm good. And I'm like,

man, this is just, let's just have a few more. It's, you know, we, we still got tonight and we

still, we're going to give them more. We'll be fine. And, uh, so, and, and then sometimes I'm in

that mood. Sometimes I'm like, man, I don't want to go home tomorrow, but I am and I'm mad about

that. And we used to go down to Key West and I can't, I can't get up. Last day of Vacation

Dale was an actual thing. He'd start closing up the shutters on the house and we had all day

to like play in the pool. We're like, dude, we're not leaving till tomorrow. We don't have to do

this. I'm starting to button up the house and he was like 24 hours early, silent, not talking to

anybody, just howling. I'm mad because we're going to go back to the great reality. I don't want to

leave. And I don't, I don't, I can't party tonight because I know what's tomorrow. I know what tomorrow

brings, right? And I'm mad about that. I don't know if I'm that way as much. No, we don't, we don't do

that anymore. We don't fight anymore. See, I put like, I am so excited the night before the trip.

Like I, I halfway ruined the first day because I didn't sleep as well. It's like, you know,

it's like Christmas, you know, waiting on Christmas at Christmas Eve.

For me, day two is the best day because I finally relaxed. Like first day on vacation

is like three or four for me. Like I'm, I'm excited. I'm there, but like I'm not fully relaxed yet.

I don't feel like I go as hard that day as like day two and three. Like those are my fun days.

And then day four, I'm just like, I'm not pouting, but I'm not as excited, but the day before is

like my least favorite day just cause I'm on and make sure I've got everything in order.

And like, it's more stressful than anything else. Yeah, day two.

This is making me want to go on a trip. Where are we going to go?

We got a trip plan coming up. Yeah, we're going skiing for spring break.

Oh, we got another one too. I mean, you were going to go skiing for spring break.

Yes, we're going skiing for spring break with my sister backwards. Like you go skiing on a

spring break. I know. So we've, we do a lot of beach trips and we want to teach the kids how to

ski. Okay. And like, I feel like it's a good time to go. My sister, Katie, those in Texas,

their kids are in, uh, are on spring break the same week, which is not normal for us. So like,

we're going to meet out there and, and the kids will all get to do it together. So,

and I guess how often do your kids get to play in snow? Right. I'm not excited.

I was going to operate and we're going to ski.

I don't feel the urge to go. I learned how to ski. I did it.

It's about the children. I know. Well, that's hopefully sees privately. That was kind of my

hope is that I would just hang with the kids. I will go through the skiing school and all the

things that I'll get my skis on. I'll go out on the slopes and do it with them.

But like, I do not have the urge to get up there and go down a green or anything like

that by myself. I did learn how to ski. I loved it. It was fun. I went over to

South Korea and skied with Mike. Incredible. But we should just do it with me this time

because the last time we went skiing, the last two times I was pregnant and we didn't get to

go down with you. It should be fun. There's tubing and all kinds of fun stuff. That's

probably what's going to happen. It's going to be real chill. I've never gone skiing.

I'm there. Like I'm too old. You can't be just

my dad's going. Is he going? Yeah. Oh, cool. Well, now I feel better about it. Yeah,

he's good. I didn't know he was going. Yeah, he's thought it was just the Fentons and yeah,

and dad and dad. Okay. Perfect. Her dad's awesome. If he can do it, I can do it. Yes.

But I would, I don't mind. I don't mind skiing, I guess. I don't know. It wasn't his choice. He

got told this is what was happening. So that's really where we are. Where are you going?

To Winter Park, Colorado. Okay. See, that's everything. It's like you're going to a place that's

like chill. It's not going to be like freezing cold when you're out there. Well, we weren't going to

go skiing in the Bahamas. No, but like if you go to like upstate New York or something, like

there's some areas where it's going to be colder where like if you go west, the snow is better

and it's not as cold. It's going to be great. There's, it's going to be fluffy snow. There's

going to be great. I think you're going to have fun. It'll be fine. I just,

I'm curious as to how getting them all ready and together and everybody

heading in the right direction is going to go. It's going to be mad chaos because like Nicole

and Isla have no idea what they're in for and the, the boots and the, all the stuff and they're,

they're going to get mad and no, you can see Nicole. Yeah. Come on. We're going to walk over

here. No. Well, she doesn't like being uncomfortable. She doesn't like being outside much. They're

going to like, they're going to go like two foot down the slope, the little bunny slope. They're

going to go like two foot and be like, they're going to be fine. And we signed him up for ski

lessons. They're going to be with an instructor with their cousins tubing. They're going to be fine.

We'll see. Go tubing. That'd be fun. Yeah. Don't bring your anxiety to the trip. Dale,

that has to stay at home.

What's all we got? Any more questions? Okay.

That's all we got for your questions. We're excited for another season. And if you haven't

already, please hit the subscribe button. And also don't forget to check out all of the merch

at shop.dirtymomedia.com. Thank you. And we'll see you next week.

Protect Your Family Jewels

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About this episode

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