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Hey, it's the Skrobots and you're listening to Batteries Not Included.
Strong and resilient family culture doesn't just magically happen, but requires hard work,
intentional leadership, and constant culture building.
Actually, building a family takes a lot of dang hard work, huh, babe?
We have not been on this podcast on the show for a year and a few months.
Over that year and three, four months, it has been a pretty crazy, pretty difficult journey.
We moved houses, started a business, and we have been on a really painful, painful journey when it
comes to, I guess, how would you frame it? You don't frame it as infertility, how do you frame that?
It's been our trying to conceive journey, baby number five.
Yeah. So, yeah, not speaking infertility over myself, but it has been. I've had an infertile womb
over the last three and a half years, so. And now, maybe for all the guys out there,
is that common? Is it common to have multiple pregnancies and then everything's fine and then
you have miscarriages and infertility? Because I think as a guy, I didn't know that that was
a common thing. I thought like, well, if you are able to get pregnant, it's just like that just
continues. I mean, I think, yeah, in the most people would think, oh, you've had no problem
getting pregnant before conceiving, giving birth, and I would often even joke like,
God just wants me to have lots of babies because I love being pregnant, got pregnant really easily.
But secondary infertility, as the internet will call it, as the world of doctors would call it,
is a little bit more common than I thought it was entering to this world. My eyes are open to
so many other things that I didn't know. I mean, hormones change so much,
so many different things can alter as you get older. So, there's a lot of different things
at play that can then decrease or increase your chances of conceiving a baby.
So, in this process, we've talked about this so many times. I don't know how many times we've
processed through this, but in our process, in your process specifically,
there has been a lot of shame and guilt that you have carried as a person in that journey
of infertility. Yeah, still walking it now makes me emotional because it is so
it's a part of my everyday walk with the Lord right now because as women,
you know, it's like first commandment, be fruitful and multiply, and I know it's a command over,
husband and wife, but as a woman who is the bearer of life, who actually carries a baby when you can't
make that happen, it's a constant like, I mean, I've battled so much shame and guilt and condemnation
probably over that simple thing, but it's touched every area, you know, there's
you often, at least I've often heard it said like there's not one ounce of life that infertility
or trying to conceive doesn't touch because it gets to you at your very core, at your very,
in some ways, identity as us as women are to bear children, to give birth and raise godly, godfaring,
you know, men and women, children who will turn into men and women,
and when that can't happen, then yeah, lies come from every side, so.
It's painful. In this process, I think, you know, you've gone on this journey of
yeah, condemning yourself, trying to figure out what did I do wrong? What am I not doing right?
How do I fix this? Is it something I'm eating? Is it something I'm not eating? Is it medicine? Is
it medication? Is it working out? Is it not working out? And I think in the last year, I've just seen
you plague by so many emotions when it comes to this,
but I feel like in the last, last week or two, you've come to kind of some different articulation.
No? Yeah, I mean, the last month has been pretty transformational for me and part of that. I'm such
a practical, like what can I shift in my schedule today that's going to lead me to the person that
I want to be in, you know, three months from now. And I'm always a big component of it's usually the
small, seemingly insignificant things that we do or that we can alter that actually has the biggest
impact on our lives. And so as we're leading up to Christmas, you know, you and I had just a real
big, I don't know, coming to a moment or just this like articulation of
I am done trying to do all the things to make the things that only God can actually do
happen. You know, he is the one that opens and closes the womb and
there's so much detail to the infertility and the trying to conceive process. But
I think along the way I'm continually faced with the reality that
this whole journey has never been about the fact whether I can or can't conceive or, you know,
receiving the promise that we feel like God has given us or not given us or not. It's that it is
the process of sanctification and the stripping and him exposing him leading us into those barren
and dry places so that he can meet us there so that we can recognize our barrenness and he can
fill us. You know, it's like along this journey it has been it's not about what my body isn't
doing. It's not about what I'm doing right or wrong because I just would wrestle like it must be
something I'm missing. It must be something like I just can't get it right. God clearly is trying to
speak something and I am just like missing it because if I would have would just grab a hold of
it and understand it, God would release his blessings. It's like it touches the very core of
what you really believe about God and what your relationship with God is like. And like for me,
that was very exposing to be like, whoa, that's how this exchange is with the father and I.
It's like, if I do these things right, then you'll bless me because I'm good enough and
God has continually broken down that lie. And I think, well, for sure over this last five weeks,
over the last month, really expose like, can you actually give into the fact that it's about
the process of sanctification? It's about the perseverance that I'm producing in you through
the trials. You know, I was saying to you yesterday, like, he is the potter. We are the clay. Do we
trust the potter to make beautiful things out of us or not? Like that is a simple question because
if we believe it, then yes, we have emotions. We're human. We're going to struggle through
discouragement and disappointment. We're going to have a deep trust knowing that God is the
potter. We are the clay. He is the father. We are his children. He's intimately involved
in the whole process that we walk through in life. And that's been so hard for me for whatever reason
to. Yeah, I remember that moment where we're sitting down in the sun. I mean, here in the Middle
East, like the winters are so nice. You can actually be outside and I remember sitting
out in the lawn on a, it must have been a Friday afternoon or something. And you just sharing
how it's, it's almost, you mentioned the potter and the clay. It's almost as if you have been
the clay wrestling against the potter for the last three years. Yeah. That's been three years of you
fighting the reality that you're in and trying to figure out what do I have to do
my own strength to break free of this. And I remember having a conversation where
essentially we just said like, we need, we need to lay this down. You need to lay this down. I mean,
honestly, transparently, you were, you carry it so much more than I do. Like I care about it. I
passionate about it. I pray about it. I weep about it with you. But on a day in, day out basis, as far
as getting pregnant goes, you're the one that's, it's all consuming for you. And I remember just
saying, man, we just need to, we just need to stop. We just need to like, let this go. And I remember
you just breaking down and crying. Maybe the question be, why did you, what was that release
of emotion in that moment that caused you to break down and cry as, as I'm saying to you and
you're realizing like, I just have to let this go because you chair how it's stolen so much of your
life. It's stolen even yesterday. You're sharing how it's like, as if you missed the three years of
our kids' lives, not you haven't been, you're so present, you're with them. But it's almost like
your mind was distracted. So like, what does that mean for you to like, let that, let that go and
surrender? Um, I think, yeah, throughout this process, I think what I had known about believing
God for something contending for the promises of God and for the, you know, for babies, which is
on God's heart. He loves babies. He commands us to be fruitful and multiply, like I said earlier.
And so it's like, it's not something he doesn't want to do. And so I think like up until
maybe that moment, just thinking if I'm not constantly thinking about it, constantly like
trying to wrestle with it and figure it out. If I'm not doing my part and controlling what I
can control and actually putting works to my faith, I thought if I'm not doing that, then I,
then I think I'm just like, I'm forgetting about it. I'm actually letting God off the hook in the
way of like, he's promised us something. And now I've just grown too weary to keep believing for
it. And so it was like, I was coming head to head with that lie of being like, does that mean that
like, what does that mean for how I believe for something? How do I lay something down, but yet
still believe for it and keep it at the forefront of our mind and remind God of, you know, you don't
speak a word that we might hope in vain that you're not a man that you should lie that you're
faithful to the end or your name is faithful and true, you know, he, he will do what he said he'll
do, but lay something down. And I, I think it's not like I have the full answer for that, but I
think in that moment, I mean, it released, it relieves some pressure off of me because I realized
the immense amount of shame that I was under for so long. And how that just played out in every
area and the way that I felt about myself and the way that I was, you know, mothering our boys and
in our relationship and friendships. And again, there's not an area it doesn't touch because it's,
it is all consuming. It's like, when you have a longing and desire of your heart and it's not
coming to pass, even though, you know, you have a promise, you have something that you're believing
for, you have words, you have, you know, words from God himself telling us like, yes, this is,
this is going to come, but it's not coming yet. It's the human heart. We don't know what to,
we don't know what to do with that. I don't think, what do you do in the waiting?
And so I think that has been, for me, my struggle is
feeling like I need to do something to release
and you know, the blessing and that God is just kind of waiting for me to get it right.
God helps those who help themselves. You know, this, I've seen, I've just seen so often,
yeah, it's like we have these promises that we believe for them. And at the same time,
we believe that we have to be the ones that bring them about, that we have to do something
to make it happen, that it's almost like these promises aren't promises, but they're more like
directions of like, you need to do this and if you achieve this goal that's impossible in your own
strength, then I'll be pleased, then I'll be happy, then you'll be fulfilled, then you'll be acceptable.
And I just saw, I think from my perspective, I just saw, yeah, how heavy, how heavy you were
carrying that shame and just this, yeah, breaking free and it's not perfect. Obviously,
there's still layers that you're kind of being uncovered and sifting through and figuring out,
but this like moment of like relief and freedom of like, this doesn't define me,
this doesn't define who I am and the scary feeling of how powerless we are in so many
situations in our life. We don't realize it, but truly we are absolutely powerless. Like we're
absolutely, as a couple, we're absolutely powerless to conceive. And I just, we just as a couple had
that moment of just surrendering of like, okay, we're absolutely powerless. So
why don't we actually position ourselves as if we're powerless rather than
position ourselves as if we're powerful to conceive, as if we're the ones who are
hold fate in our hands to make it happen for us. Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know,
for me, I needed you to lead that conversation. I needed you to have this, you know, as my husband
to be in some ways just like, cover me and release that, you know, you've been so amazing
throughout all of this, we've entered into grief together. But I think that moment was,
I felt like, well, you see the burden and the shame in a new light. And you're like,
this is not yours to carry and through you kind of leading that conversation in that way. And
basically just saying like, in so many words, enough is enough and not in a shameful way,
but being like, no, no, we are, this is still our promise. We can still believe that God has
so many other things he wants to walk with us in in the process. And yeah, it shifted something
in me to be like, oh my goodness. Okay, so then how do I position my life going forward? And
like I was talking about practical things, you know, I about almost five weeks ago,
now I started waking up every morning at 530 to get up before the kids wake up and make coffee and
sit before God. And you know, it's so crazy how like,
I often, there were times I sit there and I'm like, I have nothing to give to you God, you know,
I have nothing. I don't, I don't know what to say. I don't have lofty prayers. I don't have
these beautiful articulated words. And as much as I wrestle through it, I'm realizing like, okay,
that's actually the point. Like he's bringing me to that place of true abandonment and empty
and empty vessels so that he can actually fill it and have something to work with.
But it doesn't, it often doesn't feel right because I feel like I have to, I guess, perform
some ways. Well, even I remember so many instances
over the last three years where we find out that we're not pregnant and you're like apologizing,
you're apologizing to me. I'm like, that's so strange. Like, why, like, why are you apologizing
to me that you're not getting pregnant? But going back to this point that you made of,
it's almost like I had to give you permission. Like I had to cover you and like free you from
that weight of shame. Because in some ways you were like, man, I need to
fulfill my husband's desires. I need to, you know,
not fulfilling my role as a wife and I as a, as a leader as your husband had to cover you and then
release you from that, which is that, as you said, kind of like opens up this door
for you then to look inside and see. Yeah, not just,
you know, your, your barrenness physically, but it's realizing like, oh, actually in a deeper,
deeper place inside of my soul, I too am barren. And it's like,
it's this uncovering of our barrenness as individuals, our barrenness as humans, our
barrenness as broken people. And it goes back to, wait, you know, you've been processing and
sharing about of, you know, it's the Lord bringing you on this journey of sanctification
and bringing you to a place to realize that I am powerless, I am broken, I am needy,
I am blind and have nothing to offer, I have nothing to bring. I am barren both physically
and emotionally and as a human and I'm broken and empty and I've been thinking that I could
bring something to the table, but I can't. Yeah, yeah, no, that's a good correlation of like,
well, it's like God used the barrenness of my physical womb to actually expose the
barrenness of my soul, my walk. And just not even like, yeah, just in every area of my soul,
my spirit, this is the barrenness of me. And yeah, I just continually, one of the things I
was thinking of when you were talking is like, you know, we all know about the great men and
women of faith in Hebrews 11, where they talk about they greeted their promises from afar,
never having actually received them. And it goes through a whole account of, you know,
everyone from Isaac to Jacob to Sarah. And I'm going to paraphrase it because I don't have
the Bible right in front of me, but he basically says that Abraham received promises from God
because he did amazing things for God and he raised, you know, he was faithful in everything
that God asked him to do. No, he received it because he counted him the one who spoke it as
faithful because he actually just considered him faithful. He considered his faithfulness and he
counted him as faithful. And he, I think like, what do you do with that? Because like literally,
it's just believing that you're faithful and staying in that place, even in our weariness,
even in our discouragement, even in our, yeah, even in all those barren places, but
to actually consider him faithful who promised and not backing down from that and being like a
you will still do it because you always do. Yeah, it's like Abraham, the father of our,
you know, father Abraham, father of our faith. He's counted righteous and counted
a man of faith because he waited. He didn't do anything. He just, he's counted righteous because
of his faith and his faith was believing God. His faith was just simply waiting and he even
greeted them from afar. He didn't even see the fullness of what he was promised in his life
and that's so contrary to the way that I at least often think about being a person of faith or
having, receiving the promises that we've been given. And it's just this thing of waiting,
which to me, it's such a mystery. It's such a mystery that it is
like that. And I think
in part, it is like that because God is drawing us into relationship with him,
that the purpose of the waiting, the purpose of the long seasons of trusting, it's to draw our hearts
into who he is, to draw us into relationship, to draw us into communion, to draw us into
his sufferings. Otherwise, how would we ever know him in his sufferings? How would we ever know him
in his, in the deep places of who Christ is as a man of sorrow acquainted with grief?
Yeah. And I think that's the, the thing I'm finding is he, and what can often be confusing is
God speaks something super clearly and you know whether it's through him coming and impressing
something through the word or you have a dream or you just have like a clear word from God.
You know, we all have different ways of, of hearing from God, but where it's so clear,
it's undoubtable. Like you can't, you can't shake it. You know that it's real, but the reason,
and then like oftentimes it's like, oh, well then this must be the time. This is it. This is
God saying like here it comes. It's coming around the corner. He's doing something new.
But often, at least what I'm finding is that he speaks something to that when, when it carries,
when the promise carries in the waiting, in the unfulfillment of that promise
being fulfilled and unfolding, that we would say, no, no, what he spoke it. And so therefore,
because he's faithful and true, because he will not go back on his word, because he cannot,
cannot not speak something and then not fulfill it. He can't speak it and then be like,
oh, it's like, it's impossible. That's like,
He can't deny himself.
He cannot deny himself. Yeah.
Yeah, that's good. And so he,
He's not a liar. He's not a man that he should lie. We can trust his word.
And so it's, it can be hard to not mistake, you know, to mistake like, oh, he spoke it,
so therefore it's coming right now. Then, you know, and then often it's no, he usually speaks
something so clearly. So that we will hold on to that promise in the tearing and in the
weary waiting. I think you had a moment. You've had a couple of moments in the last five weeks.
But I remember, I mean, yesterday, the day, a couple of days ago, you had this aha moment.
And it's like, wait a minute. This is God, God is doing this to me.
Like, this isn't me doing this to me. This isn't the devil doing this to me.
This is God testing me. This is the potter refining me. This is him bringing me through fire.
Like, this is God's doing. Yeah.
I think that that in and of itself is, it's both very freeing because you're like, again,
going back to, well, he knows what he's doing. He is so all wise. He's all,
he's holy. He knows the beginning from the end. And so therefore we should ideally be able to
just rest in that and say, okay, he knows what he's doing. I'm going to trust the process.
And yet he made it. It's like the other thing is like, he made us to wrestle with him though.
He actually made us wrestle with him. And so that whole wrestling has brought me to the conclusion
of, okay, God, you have allowed this test to happen, you know, and famous story of Joe when
Satan himself comes to God and says, allow me like, what about, I don't know, God says to Satan,
what about my servant Job? Yeah, how horrible is that? It's God that brings up the Satan,
you know, Satan, let someone to annoy. What about my servant Job? Look at this Godly servant faithfully
loves me. Why don't you take a jab at him? And he did. He literally ripped everything from his life.
And so terrible. It's accepting and actually like finding a true, it actually feels like a true rest.
It's not even, it's like that supernatural peace, not in a loofway of like, okay, well, whatever
happens, happens, God is sovereign. But it actually allows me to like rest right in the spot I'm
supposed to rest as he's saying like, Hey, I've actually allowed this because it's all unto your
good that everything that I am exposing everything, I'm stripping everything that I'm
revealing this whole process, the desert seasons, the dryness, the, the,
the temptation to have bitterness grow in your heart, contempt, all those things are actually
me drawing you out where I am so that you are continually exposed to those things in your life
and then you relent yourself to me. Yeah. And I think that's,
you know, James one, consider it pure joy when you face trials of various kind for the testing
of your faith produces steadfastness, perseverance, this is different in different translations, but
okay, here it is. And yeah, so count on all joy in my brothers when you face trials of various
kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and let steadfastness
have its full effect that you may be perfect to complete lacking in nothing.
And I like, we've all pondered, how do you consider something so joyful? Like, how do you
consider, how do you, I think we often equate like joyfulness with happiness, like I want to feel
this feeling of happiness going through a trial, but it's what I'm, what I feel like the Lord was
saying, it's like that, that knowing that I have actually allowed this trial that, you know,
I've allowed the floods to, to come the storms to rage. And in it, I've never left you. I've always,
I've never forsaken you, I've not forgotten you because that was a common lives like you've just
must have forgotten me. How long will you forget me? And God's saying I haven't allowed it. And so
in that we can find joy because he's producing steadfastness and perseverance, which is our
sanctification, which is allowing us to, and leading us to be the men and women that we want to be,
the moms and dads we want to be, the husband and wives we want to be. And it, that is like we were
saying yesterday, it is, this is all that it is about. Like our sanctification is the will of God.
Yeah. It looks like you're about to flip to that because we were talking about that recently and
saying like, do we want to know the will of God for our lives? Well, it says it right here. It's
your sanctification. And our sanctification is a process of oftentimes through trials, tribulations,
like don't be surprised when you face fiery trials of many kinds because it's, it, as if like
something crazy is happening to you because we are promised this because it's the only way that
he can actually refine us. It's the only way that he can really like. It's the testing of our faith.
Produce gold and sift us. It's so true. We all want to know what's the will of God for my life?
Oh, if I only knew the will of God, now it's a good thing. We're told to pray to be,
to know the will of God for our life. So we ought to, but it's also written. It's right here in
1 Thessalonians 4. Verse four. Sorry, I'm trying to find it here.
Verse three, for this is the will of God, your sanctification. This is the will of God. You
want to know the will of God for your life? Do you want to know why you're facing trials and
tribulations? Do you want to know why you're facing suffering? It's for your sanctification.
It's for my sanctification. It's, you know, it's Romans 5.
Through him, we've attained access by faith into this grace, which we stand and rejoice in the
hope and the knowledge of God, not only that, but we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering
produces endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope. And hope does not put
us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, which has
been given to us. And so it is God's will for us to be sanctified and he does it through suffering.
He does it through the cross. He does it through trials and tribulation.
Yeah. And I think I've, like for me, I've always pondered that verse in Romans where it's like,
you know, produces character that produces perseverance. Sorry, I'm jumbling it up. I'm
terrible at paraphrasing that produces ultimately suffering, endurance, character, hope.
So first you have the suffering, which then is supposed to produce endurance as you're waiting
through the ending of the suffering. And then the endurance then produces character. And that's
true because he's revealing probably all these things inside of us that are not of him, that are
totally of the flesh, that are not fruits of the spirit. And then that character produces hope.
And I've always been like, how do you jump from like those, you know, like endurance,
suffering. And then it's like, how does that then produce hope? But honestly, going through what
we've walked through the last three years and the wrestle of like trying to control what I can
control and be good enough to, to please God and receive these blessings. It has been the most
fiery trial. I think that we've really had to walk through, not just in the trying to conceive,
but also our three losses of our babies. We've had three miscarriages unexplained, very different
losses, some early and some quite late into our second trimester. And that completely shakes
everything because how do you, how do you reason with that? But what I'm finding is what I'm trying
to get back to is it is this crucible, the trial is like his thumb being pressed on my heart and
will not let up and learning like every moment, every time that I think that I'm like, I can't do
anything. And that's the only possible amount of hope because you know that it's not an earthly
thing that we can produce, but it's actually God doing something so deep inside of you that's
producing a hope in an eternal God and father who's intricately involved in our lives, who sees us,
who loves us, whose eye is upon us, whose eyes burn with jealousy for us because he's, he's
it, everything he does is for our good. And so it produces this hope to say like,
God will always show up and God has a plan. Yeah. And I think the hope that it produces
is the hope that we see in Hebrews, Hebrews 11 with faith that hope isn't, oh, I have hope that
the breakthrough will finally come. I mean, we do. It's not the hope that, oh, my circumstances
will change. It's hope in his character. It's hope that we are with him. You know, it's like,
how do I say, as we're on this journey and we're in this process, the Lord changes our focus from
our circumstances changing and we're having breakthrough in our circumstances into our hope
being, as you said, an internal hope because we have hope because God's love has been poured into
our hearts through the Holy Spirit, which is this hope is a hope of eternal glory. This hope is a hope
of communion with God. This hope is changing our perspective from temporary trials and tribulation
to eternal communion. And so it's, it's a reshifting of our entire focus away from the temporal
things, even if they're temporal things that we've been promised or holding on to. But we
find that our promise is in him. Our promises are found in Christ. Every promise is yes and amen
in Christ Jesus. And it's there that we find our hope. It's there that we find our rest. And we then,
in some ways, it begins to, you know, if we ask the question of why,
why is this happening? What did I do? How do I fix it? Even if we got the answer, it wouldn't
solve the anguish. And instead, instead of him giving us the answers to why,
he gives us the person of Christ. He gives us the spirit who is the Comforter. And that
changes everything. Changes everything. Because he then encounters us in a deep place of communion.
Yeah. And that is what satisfies our soul. That's the thing that we're longing for.
It's relationship. It's the person of Christ communing with us and abiding in him. And in
that we have eternal hope. Well, yeah, that's so good. It's this us thinking it's about the
fulfillment of a promise and realizing along the way that is never, it's actually not about the
promise being fulfilled. And for me, it's been, it's not even, it's like obviously the desire to
grow our family is still there. It's deep inside of me, but it's changed from
gotta get the promise, gotta get the promise. When is my promise coming? God, give me another
dream of like this promise that's coming to being like, God, just give me yourself. It is about
us having you. And in the journey, it's so easy to want to or not even want to. It's like, you're so,
it's, you're so weary that often in our flesh, we want to
comfort ourselves there. We want comfort. We are desperate for comfort. And it's this cry
to God to say, like, don't let me leave you. Don't let me turn away. It's our cry to God.
It's our cry to God. It's saying, I know you won't leave me, but preserve me that I might not leave
you. Yeah, because it is about our oneness. It's about, you know, being one with God,
fellowship and intimacy with him. And he'll go, you know, he'll do whatever he needs to do to
rid us of ourselves. Because I think, yeah, we are, we're all just way too entitled,
entitled human beings that think that this life is about us and our happiness and our joy and
our comforts and what's, what works for me. And really, it's about losing our life so that we'll
find it in him. And that has been this last three and a half years. And I'm so thankful to say,
like, it's actually still going on. It's not like I've arrived. I realized, like, no, this is,
this is forever. This is actually, Lord, keep me in this place of longing so that I never forget
how much I need you. Keep me from the place of honoring you with my, my lips and my heart
being far from you. Like, keep me ever before the flame of your love, of your burning heart for me,
because just like sheep, we all go astray and I'm like, God, this life is not about me. It's not
about what I think should happen. It is literally unto him. And I, I mean that now more now than I
ever have, because I realized, like, gosh, it's not about these fulfillments ever happening. And
what if I get to the end of my life and I never see that promise happening, but I come at the end
knowing, like, I have a God that actually sees me and loves me and I am being made into his image.
That's what I want. That's all, that's all I want.
That's all us as humans, but you know, this is a parenting podcast, marriage and parenting.
That is then completely directly correlated with how we parent our kids and
lead them to their sanctification and help them along the journey. It's as he's sanctifying us that we
actually can extend that to our children too. It's like, it's a totally redirecting the aim
of our individual lives and then the aim of our family, the aim of our existence from
achieving
temporal breakthroughs in the natural realm to seeing our lives as something that is on a,
you know, multi-generational story arc where we are looking to and our lives are orientated to
an eternal perspective, an eternal God.
And I think that totally redirects, you know, as that happens in ourselves,
I think that totally begins to redirect where we then lead as individuals, where we lead as parents
and how we lead because it changes the goal. The goal is no longer earthly, worldly, immediate
gratification, but it's our perpetual and eternal sanctification. And if we're parenting to
have ourselves, by example, by proxy, if we want in our marriage or in ourselves to reach
the temporal place of comfort and safety,
then our kids will see that and we'll parent in that way. We won't delay gratification. We will
try to shelter our children from those sufferings. Now, some, of course, we do shelter them from,
some, of course, we do comfort them in, but I think it changes the entire direction that we go
as a family and the entire purpose of who we are as a family in a totally different direction.
That it's now about our eternal sanctification and it's about loving our brothers and sisters.
It's about honoring our elders and our parents and it's about loving one another and it's about
loving our wives and respecting our husbands and living quiet and dignified lives.
Rather than I need to achieve something, I need to fill my soul with the breakthrough
in this moment, in this lifetime, rather than looking for a city whose founder and maker is God,
looking and greeting promises from afar. Yeah, that's so good. It's a lot to unpack there.
It's a lot. Yeah, just thinking like, okay, well, then what's the will of God for us in our marriage?
It's our sanctification. What's the will of God for us in our family? It's our children's
sanctification. What's the will of God for the trajectory that we live? Of course,
it's for his glory, but it's our sanctification is for his glory. Our sanctification is for
worship unto him. It's becoming more like him, looking like him with his character and his nature.
Yeah, and you mentioned how in parenting, it's like for our kids sanctification,
it's like through parenting, that's a whole other level of sanctification where God is like,
here, these are all the areas that you are insecure, that you carry shame, that you have anger,
that you have, you're not patient, you're not kind, you're not full of gentleness and kindness
and goodness. And he's exposing it time and time again. Why? Because he is after our sanctification
and he will use our marriage, he will use us as parents, he'll use our circumstances when,
you know, we're not seeing the fruit of what we're believing for, we're not seeing the things that
we've been contending and asking out for, and maybe we never do see it, but he's using it,
he's always using it to sanctify us. And at least, I've just been thinking over the last couple of
weeks, I'm like, why not relent to that? Why is it so hard to relent to that? Because ultimately,
that's it. But it is a choice, it's why he didn't make us as robots and programmed to be a certain
way and always say, yes, sir, it's because it actually has to come from a place of own free will
to say, God, your way is better than mine. And I need you. I need you, God, I need you every hour,
I need you. That actually, him was written by, like, I don't know, back in the 1800s by,
and just to stay a whole mom who literally was realizing the hourly need for Jesus in her
parenting. It just strikes me as like, oh my gosh, I sing that song differently now being like,
she's like, wow, you, I need you in every step of the way, because without you, I have no idea
how to parent, I have no idea how to walk free and teach my kids how to walk in freedom and
be strong, content, confident for us men and obviously women of God to ultimately
help producing them that steadfastness through endurance. And
it's another topic for another day is walking through grief with your kids and not sheltering
them from it because that actually is, wow, such a beautiful way to let God show up for them
as we walk through that with our kids because it's real. That's, that's real life.
And anyway, I think probably have to.
It's a great place to end for today. So, man, it's our sanctification,
the suffering, the trials, the tribulation, the seasons of wilderness.
It is actually to transform us into something beautiful. It's to refocus our lives,
the direction of our lives into something eternal. Yep. So, give in.
Give in. Give in. Give in. And relent because otherwise you're going to come out of this
wrestle with a big ol' limp in your step because who knows why, but let's wrestle with God and
actually allow him to sanctify us in the process and know that he fashions and forms us and he's
a potter. We are the clay and he knows what he's doing. And for some reason, it's unto our good.
That's right. Thanks for listening. I'm Lucas. I'm Rachel. And we're the Scrobots and this is
batteries not included. And we'll see you next time. Give in.
So good. So wonderful.
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