TALL GIRL TRAUMA

Welcome to the Carpool podcast with Kelly.

And there was lightning outside when we were supposed to walk out for like school pickup.

And they were like, okay, there's lightning.

Like what should we do?

And they were like, oh, just send Kelly out because lightning strikes the tallest.

And Liz.

The one critique she had for me was that when I walked in, I was kind of,

I was really tall and looming and intimidating.

Your mom time off starts now.

Welcome back to the Carpool podcast with Kelly and Liz.

Hey, Liz.

Hey, Kel.

Happy Wednesday, everybody.

Um, still like so not used to this recording schedule, but I think it's going to be okay.

I don't love it.

Well, it's, I don't know.

I love Friday.

I don't like Wednesday, but the Tuesday was the problem.

You know what I mean?

No, I know it was.

So it is what it is.

We will prevail.

We will get through it.

Um, it's just like so hard because like dancing with the stars has already happened,

but I haven't seen it because it's only Monday when I'm recording.

Like I just want to, I'm such a different person between Monday through Wednesday.

It's like hard to forecast.

Yeah.

No, I know.

Um, here's like my biggest thing as I'm watching like all the dancing with the stars recaps,

which actually, first of all, you know, what Grayson told me, she said,

now I understand why boys like to watch sports highlights.

Cause the way that I have gone and watched.

Yeah, sure.

The dancing with the stars like highlights.

I'm obsessed.

Um, here's my question.

How do you not like fall in love when you're dancing with some of these dancers?

Like how is Dylan not like in love with Daniela?

And maybe I think she's probably a professional.

And now, now I get why all of the dancers are like married and dating because like how

can you dance with someone like that and not literally fall in love?

See, to me, it's like just such a fairytale land because like I could never move like

that.

Like I'm just not, I have no rhythm.

I'm not a good dancer.

So I feels so irrelevant to me.

Like I could literally never, and my husband's actually a good dancer.

Which is sad for him.

We're just like, I don't think, I don't think we could have ever been dancers.

Here's the thing.

I'm not, I don't have great rhythm and I'm also not light on my feet.

No, I'm quite heavy on my feet actually.

Like I'm nothing good.

Yeah.

To be a girl who can just like effortlessly like dance or like, you know, those like

movies where the girl like shakes her head like this and like a guy looks at her at

the bar, like never my story.

If I'm getting checked out, it's when I'm sat.

Yeah.

And then I stand up and they're like, she's a giraffe.

They're like, never mind.

So tough.

Well, it's not really that tough because, you know, you're happily married and have been

with the same guys since you were 17, but.

Yeah.

But in like my fantasies of just like I was, I could not, it's not my fantasies, but

like I could never be Daniela.

You know who is so just cute and like has rather than as a good dancer and what it would

just like would never be her in a million years is Sabrina Carpenter.

Did you see her, her performance on SNL?

Actually, that's so funny.

You say that because I got home Saturday night from a little event, which I'm going to recap

with you guys and Tyler was passed out.

But like I was still kind of just like on a high, you know, it's just like, oh, I'm not

ready for bed.

So turn on the TV and it's like Saturday night lives on.

And I'm like, what if I clicked on Saturday night live, tried to watch it.

I'm sorry.

Horrible show.

Yeah.

It's like, I can't believe how unfunny the skits were.

Like it was, it's not even like it was a bad joke.

It's like, was that supposed to be a joke?

And it's not, it's like, it's just such an uninteresting show.

So no, I didn't see, I've seen clips and I can see how like the best clips make it a

social media.

And that's all you need to know about Saturday night live.

Yeah.

I very much tried to like sit there and watch it.

It was horrible.

I've never been able to sit there and watch it.

I do really like Saturday night live clips, like when they're funny.

But like it was on like a streaming service and I was like, oh, what if I just watched

all Saturday night live couldn't get through like a single episode.

Now there, there are like some people on that show that I like.

And there's a new girl Veronica, who I follow on Instagram and I love her.

And I'm like really waiting for her like comedy to come out.

But no, it's really, I think that's like for every five bad skits they have, they have

one really good one and that one gets circulated.

And that's, I only need to see the highlights.

No, but it's like, it's not, it's like the whole skits bad, like they should have scrapped

the whole thing and left it on the, the writer's floor.

Like, and it's so interesting because now like how many people, like there's so many

entertaining videos and people on social media now that it's just insane that like you

can't translate that to like any sort of like long form.

I mean, it's like just, they're horrible.

I was like really mad about the whole thing.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, Sabrina Carpenter's performance.

I only saw clips of it online and she's just like, you know, she always wears like lingerie

essentially when she performs.

She just wore, she was like in a bedroom, like her microphone was a hairbrush and she was

just like in a t-shirt and underwear, which like isn't that scandalous for Sabrina Carpenter

actually was like quite modest for her if you think about it.

And it was just so cute.

It was giving me all of like the 2000s nostalgia that I was after and it was just like really cute.

And I liked it.

Yeah.

No, it couldn't be us.

Like if you ever stood next to her, Elizabeth, like you'd be scary.

No, I know.

She's so petite.

I know.

So it's hard when you're not petite.

No.

Anyway.

But it's fine.

The thing about me is like people don't realize this about me.

Like I don't like being tall.

And I know that's like not a good thing to say.

Like I know you should like, and I of course like love the skin I'm in like sure X, Y and

Z, A, B and C.

But I'm telling you, I don't love being tall.

Like if I could get a genie, I would ask to be five eight.

That of all the things asked for, where would it fall?

What do you mean?

Like you would really, you would really ask me five eight.

Do you think it would make your life easier?

I think I'd be able to.

Yeah.

I think I'm in my life easier.

Well, I guess you're right.

I guess it's all worked out.

That's fine.

I'm just so self-conscious about it.

So I don't know.

I'm allowed to be self-conscious.

We all have our things.

No, you're not.

Okay.

You have to.

You're not allowed to.

You're fine.

You're beautiful.

You're right.

So.

And you know what?

You know what else I was thinking?

Hmm.

I'm going to have tall daughter.

So I just better shut up and get over it.

It's exactly.

Because my girls are going to probably be my height.

And they're probably going to be self-conscious about it.

And you're going to say you're beautiful just the way you are.

And so I better just learn.

So you're right.

I'm changing my mind.

Actually, I love it.

It's amazing.

You know what?

No, actually being tall is like the craziest.

One of the craziest stories I have about being tall is when I was in high school,

um, we had to do these like interviews in front of the class and they picked

like three girls that had to come in and do like a mock interview with the president of

our school or the dean or whoever principle.

I don't know who she was.

Um, I don't remember what her title was, but she was the scariest.

She was the scariest woman.

She would hide underneath the stairs and jump out with a ruler and measure your skirt.

It was the dean.

What was her name?

Like Wendy or something like that.

Um, anyway, so she came in and did pick three students that had to do an interview for a

job in front of the entire class, which is like so annoying and scary.

And like interviews are already nerve wracking.

Talking to freaking Dean Wendy was so scary and annoying.

And guess who gets picked?

Me.

So I have to like walk out of the room.

She has my resume.

She's like running the class through my resume and like what I'm applying for.

And then I walk in, I deliver an incredible interview.

And then she goes in critiques on all the things that you did wrong in the

interview in front of the class.

Again, obviously I'm a little scarred from this experience.

What does this have to do with your height?

I'm getting there.

The one critique she had for me was that when I walked in, I was kind, I was really tall

and looming and intimidating.

Like what do you want me to do about that?

That my critique was I was too tall.

You should have reported that.

Well, I'm fired up about that.

It was like something along those lines.

Like I don't remember exactly what she said, but I remember just walking out and

being like, okay, so the one critique you had on my interview was something I cannot

change and that I was too tall.

Like sorry, you are so short.

That sounds like your problem that you were intimidated by me.

How old am I?

I'm 16.

Okay.

My saddest tall story started when I was, I was like in the third grade and the

thing is Liz wasn't like, Liz was, Liz had gross spurts.

I was born tall.

Yeah.

I was always tall and you guys know, like I was so tall in the third grade.

I was the tallest in my class.

Like the boys were nowhere close because they were later bloomers.

And there was lightning outside when we were supposed to walk out for like school pickup

and they were like, okay, there's lightning.

Like what should we do?

And they were like, oh, just send Kelly out because lightning strikes the tallest.

No.

And like, I remember the person who said it to me.

What's their name?

Let's play.

I'm not going to say their name.

But like if they ever like came across my desk and like, I, oh, hey, because guess

what?

Oh, hey, me and my wife were expecting.

I bet you are.

Oh, I bet you.

Oh, you want to know what car you should buy?

Lightning strikes first.

Lightning doesn't forget.

After the lightning, you get the thunder.

And I would ignore that message.

Yeah.

That's what they're saying.

Like that theory of like, we all remember like the people who are mean to us in grade

school or mean to us in high school.

You've got to be careful.

And I will tell my kids that you never know who you're going to need a favor from.

And people all the time will message me all the time in my past life and ask me for

like interesting free stuff.

That's so interesting, which like I'm happy to help because you know what?

One thing on me is I'm going to leave you with a good taste in your mouth.

Yeah.

That was a weird way to say that.

But like, yeah, I don't really know what you're saying.

I'm going to be, I'm going to rise above, which isn't hard to do because I'm so tall.

Always.

Always rising above.

Yeah.

Another, oh wait, this one more like traumatizing tall story while we're on it.

We had to do Catillion, which was like, we're even about like manners and like, but like

very basic ballroom dancing steps, I guess.

I don't know.

Obviously you're doing this when you're in middle school, something like seventh, eighth grade.

I've bloomed.

I grew seven inches in one year.

Sounds impossible.

Wasn't.

Um, yeah.

That was so traumatizing.

All the guys A are either just like short kings that also haven't hit their gross board.

Like there were two guys that were taller than me in my class and one of them was my cousin.

So like, you know, whatever.

So this guy was so short and I, you like get paired up and you like move around, which

is so weird that we had to do this.

And this guy's so short.

I'm so tall.

Also probably had to wear like a heel.

They probably made girls wear little heels for it.

And we were doing spins and the guy raised his hand, doesn't talk to me.

He raised his hand and goes, this isn't going to work out.

I'm going to spin you buddy.

So, oh my gosh.

I'm here and here's what I want you guys to know.

Like I will also have tall sons as well.

Elizabeth, I will make them seek the tall girl out.

I'll say you go ask the tall girl to dance right now.

I don't care if you don't like her or not.

Like you're, we're not doing this.

She needs her moment.

Gosh, it's so sad.

Yeah.

So it's not easy.

It's not as easy as it looks.

But I know it was just like so hard to tell us like people would be like you girls are

so tall because people will say people will like throw the tall world out there or like,

and they would never say it about like you being short.

Like you're huge.

Yeah.

You're so tall.

I know I feel bad because when I see someone who's taller than me, that's like my first

instinct to be like, wow, you're so tall, but I also know how annoying that can sometimes

it actually doesn't bother me, but at all.

But like, I do think it can bother some people.

And so then I'm like, but I'm like, I'm sorry.

That's the first thing I noticed.

Sorry.

Okay.

Anyway, so we're tall.

What else do we have to talk about?

I went to a sourdough party this past weekend.

Well, that's what I want to talk about.

We had, it was just a party filled weekend.

I went to a girls fall party on Saturday and I had his birthday on Sunday and I had some

really key takeaways from both.

Okay.

Well, let's hear him.

Well, do you want to go first for your sourdough party?

Yeah, I do.

Cause we kind of like, you kind of left us hanging.

You share little snippets on your IG.

I shared some snippets.

I didn't really know what to expect.

She, she did give us a pretty good idea of what to expect.

She said she's going to have sourdough to try.

She's going to have wine to drink.

And she said to bring a bowl, but, and she said she was going to be giving us all of

our starter.

What I didn't know is she was going to be a full blown like cooking channel showing

us all the steps of sourdough.

She had like sourdough is a process.

It's like a day long process.

So she had every single step like ready like the foresight that she had to have to plan

this party.

She also had 18, she was keeping 18 starters alive for 10 days to give to us.

So it was just like such a labor of love.

So we get there and it's like the first hour is like socialize, have some wine,

drinks, eat some bread.

Her bread was incredible.

And then she like walked us through like what sourdough is and how you make it.

And she had this station set up and she like had a loaf ready to be baked.

So before we started our process of forming our loaves, she showed us how you put it

in the oven and then she put it in the oven.

And anyway, then we go through the process.

We're making bread.

We're making, we're getting our sourdough starters like ready.

And then by the time the party's over, she pulls out the bread that we all that she

started at the beginning.

And she's like, and this is what you end up with.

It was so inspiring.

It was amazing.

It was honestly for me unattainable to ever put a party together like that, but it was

inspiring.

And it was just a lot of fun.

She should do that.

Well, someone messaged me.

I would pay big money.

Like I want to have this sourdough party.

I would pay a big money for that.

I, someone DM'd me and was like, I love this so much.

I feel like we get women like don't get to get together enough to like share these

skills.

And it was so fun.

And like, I got to meet a lot of new girls and talk about bread.

And like, I'm literally like, I baked a loave this morning.

Like it was just really well done.

That's so well done.

No, I love a skills sharing party.

Yeah.

A party that I am trying to have, which if anyone has any leads in St. Louis, let me

know.

But I want to have a, this isn't a sound kind of lame when I say it.

And I'm going to explain, I want to have a hair braiding party, but I want to bring

in a professional hair braider and I want her to teach us how to do our girls hair.

So I want you, I want to like, I want to invite all my mom friends who have like a four to

six year old daughter.

Yeah.

And it's like, bring your daughter.

Like I'll have like tablets for the kids, like watch a movie and we'll do their hair

and we'll have this braider girl teach us how to do their hair.

That's a good idea.

They do this at sweet and sassy's, which is like that place that I told you I took

Hattie to.

Yeah.

And I called and because they do lessons there and I called.

Actually, I had my assistant call because I don't like to do that kind of stuff.

I had matinee call and I was like, see if you can get this girl to like see if I can

just pay for a private lesson, but I wanted at my house because I can't drive all the

way there.

Yeah.

And they said they wouldn't do it.

Really?

Yeah.

They said like, no, we only offer lessons in house.

And I'm like, I know, but can you just like slip me the girl who does it's number and

does she want to do this on the weekend?

Because I don't want to go there Wednesday at six p.m.

That doesn't work for me.

It's not the vibe I'm looking for.

No, that's a good idea.

I feel like you need to like find a hairstylist.

Wouldn't it be like a fun little party?

No, it's a really good idea.

I have seen parties where they're like in a salon, but it's like dads and daughters

and they teach dads how to like do their daughter's hair.

Oh, that's cute.

Which is really cute.

And also I could benefit from that.

So anyway, I like a skills sharing party.

I agree.

So I went to a little fall girls party on Saturday night with one of my high school friends.

Okay.

And I was super impressed with the party.

Okay.

Let's hear about it.

So, you know, she's in a cute little canva invitation.

It was just like, you know, like a little fall party.

She had great cocktails.

She had a fall sangria obsessed.

She also had like a full bar, you know, you could like, she had a bunch of different

liquors out, a bunch of different mixers out, which was just like fun.

You just pull out what you have and then like people want to make a drink.

They can make a drink.

But then she had all these different like fall rim situations going on.

So instead of like it being lime, it was caramel or simple syrup.

Oh.

And then so like you rimmed your glass and then she had like sprinkles or she had cinnamon

sugar.

So I did a caramel rim with cinnamon sugar, the fall sangria.

Oh, that sounds nice.

It was, I had two glasses.

I wasn't driving.

Sounds great.

It was so fun.

Then of course there was like, you know, they had like all the, everyone brought an app.

You forget about cream cheese and pepper jelly with wheat thens.

Oh, you do.

Why are we forgetting about that?

You do forget about it.

Excellent is what it is.

Yeah.

I did have a bit of an anchovy scare because I, someone made meatballs, like homemade meatballs.

And I literally went to take, took a bite and I said, what if they put Worcestershire

in this?

Cause I used to put Worcestershire in my meatballs.

So I spit it out and I had to ask them what they did.

They didn't put it in there.

But I need to be thinking, I need to be sharper.

I need to be sharper.

Luckily I had my appies, but like that was honestly kind of scary.

I was like, oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Stick to the pepper.

That's what I get for trying to get some protein in.

She just stuck to the pepper jelly.

Yeah.

That's safe.

But then the other fun thing that they had was in her garage, she had tables set up and

she had crafts.

So you could paint a pumpkin and you could also like tie a ribbon around it.

You could paint candlesticks with like candy corn or like little ghosts or she's printed

out like Halloween coloring pages and had like colored pencils.

And then we all like sat in the garage with our false angry as, and it was a group of

girls who like, I, I didn't know every, some people I was meeting for the first time.

And the act of like coloring while also conversing, it made me a better conversationalist.

Like I was kind of busy with my hand.

Yeah.

We were doing something.

We weren't just all like sitting around.

Yeah.

And it was a 10 out of 10 experience.

10 out of 10 party.

I really enjoyed myself.

That sounds really fun.

So it was just like, because it's fall, we're going to have a party.

Yeah.

I love it.

And then you had Hattie's birthday party.

And then we had Hattie's birthday party, which was just hacks on hacks, I thought.

Well, you shared a lot of them.

I shared a lot of my IG, basically Walmart cupcakes, Amazon cake toppers, 10 out of 10

situation, ordering Jimmy John's 10 out of 10 situation.

I loved about you said, what you said about the cupcakes and the cake toppers was for

Hattie, it was all the fun of decorating the cupcakes without the massive decorating the

cupcakes.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

Like we had the cupcakes and she was like, I was like, now first organize the toppers,

like put them all on pile.

She's like, okay.

I said, now you need to take these couple because we need to line them up.

Okay.

And then she placed them all because she doesn't have the attention span.

Like actually decorate a cupcake.

She's five.

Yeah.

It was really fun.

It was like, if she wanted to do more, like you could also just like get sprinkles and

let her do the sprinkles on top.

We could have not had one more to the sprinkles for sure.

Yeah.

It was just, yeah, that was really fun.

The face painter was a total hit.

Oh yeah.

She was impressive.

I didn't know what I was expecting because I just like posted on like my local like

Facebook group, like any face painter rex and someone's like, yeah, I do it.

I'm like, okay, sure.

Amanda, come on down.

She was a professional.

She had a kit with, she had like a, like a chest that had legs on it.

She had a whole thing.

She had an entire menu.

They were full faced and every face had razz-dazz to it.

So like if you got the unicorn, you got the 3D horn.

If you got this, if you got flowers, you got gems in the middle.

Yeah.

Like it was more than just like this wasn't like a tiger on the cheek situation.

This was, oh, you want a tiger?

It's a full fledged.

It's a full face.

Yeah.

She had a blending sponge.

Oh, okay.

She knew.

That should be the first question you asked before you hire.

Do you, what are your tools?

Do you have a blending spudge?

I know.

I thought it was a good value.

I ended up giving her $90 because, or $100 because I just felt like she deserved it.

Like she was just, she did a really great job.

She got everyone in.

I'll say the only thing I didn't like love about the vibe of it was I was kind of thinking

like kids would play and then like they would like pop in when she was available.

Like kids were just like waiting in line.

So like some kids were waiting in line for like 15 minutes to get their faces painted.

Okay.

And I was kind of having trouble like what to do with them while they were doing that.

But overall it was fun.

Ships and sailors didn't really work out, but they're like, the kids were so young and

like no one really wanted to play.

I think I just wanted to like yell into her megaphone.

So, but yeah, it was a good party.

Fun.

Today's episode is brought to you by clean simple eats.

Our obsession for clean simple eats is so real.

We love clean simple eats because their protein powder is always grass fed with no seed oils

or artificial ingredients.

It's third parties tested non GMO and gluten free.

Each serving has 20 grams of protein.

The protein powder is incredibly creamy and smooth with no chalky texture found like most protein powders.

I use the vanilla protein powder all the time.

I will add it into my pancakes or into my oatmeal.

It is so good and they have a ton of flavors and honestly every flavor I've tried is really great.

I just find the vanilla to be like the most versatile.

But I also really love the birthday cake one as well.

Honestly, if you are curious about the flavors, I would recommend getting the variety pack because then you just cannot try all of them.

So if you do want to try clean simple eats, you can visit clean simple eats.com and use code carpool 10 at checkout for 10% off your order.

That's clean simple eats.com code carpool 10 for 10% off your order.

The link is also in the show notes.

Well, Cal, I found some advice questions and we actually had two recently that were like Christmas gift related.

And I do think we kind of need to start thinking about this and talking about this because I want to be really smart this year about my Christmas gifts.

We've just been talking a lot about kids toys and it does feel like this is the time to like start thinking about it.

So that way when Black Friday and the sales roll around, we're not buying something just because it's on sale.

Like let's be smart girls about it.

Yeah.

Okay, but this one is like about like in-laws and Christmas gifts, which is always so interesting.

And I actually have some really, I have a strong opinion on this.

Okay, this comes from Jen.

Hey, Kelly and Liz.

I wanted to write in with an advice question.

Oh, but first wanted to thank you for the podcast.

It's truly my favorite podcast.

I feel like I'm catching up with friends while I listen to Bander.

Thank you.

That's so that honestly, that's so kind.

That's the greatest compliment we can ever receive.

Okay, so the advice, how do you navigate Christmas gifts with a little with a large family?

My husband's out of the family now has nine kids slash babies.

My husband is one of three boys and now has three kids, us included, all under the age of seven.

I don't mind buying something for my nieces and nephews if it's on the smaller side and it's useful to them books, some clothes, etc.

But gifting and receiving so many toys feels overwhelming.

I'm not super close with my sisters in law and they both live in another state near the near the parents and our family is the only one out of state.

What is a reasonable plan for gifts for nieces and nephews?

How would you discuss it with your in-laws?

So I guess like my first question is like, are you traveling?

Are you in person for Christmas?

Yes, certainly because that might kind of change my approach to this.

I think we can like all agree like the amount of gifts that kids get are ridiculous and dumb and we need to reel it back.

Not only for us and not have so many gifts, but like the kids do not need to learn that they should be receiving 10 gifts from like everyone in their family.

Like that's just not reality and I just feel like we're setting them up for disappointment when they grow up and like they don't always get showered with gifts all the time because that's not reality.

So what we do in our family and we've talked about this on the SunTrip side is the only people who give you a gift are grandparents and then your godparents.

So we're Catholic and other I mean, I think other religions do like baptism in Godparents, but like Kelly Sloan's godmother.

So like Kelly will get Sloan a Christmas gift.

Sydney, Grayson and Craig will not.

I'm not expecting it.

Only Kelly is.

So that way when they come over for Christmas, they get like two to three gifts at mom and dad's house and I like that.

Agreed.

I like that too.

I think buying for everyone is ridiculous.

It's so expensive and it's so wasteful and it's over even more.

To me, the worst part about it is how actually overwhelming it is for the child to then like have to give those reactions and like even if they act like they like it, it's overwhelming for them.

If you don't do like the Godparents thing, I think what's fun about having a lot of cousins is I would take it off the aunt and uncle's plate and I would do a cousin's secret Santa.

And what we do on the Stumpy side, because same thing, like my kids just get so many gifts.

We like our kids to do something done with their cousins.

So we draw names, but instead of a toy, we do a book exchange, which I think is really cute.

So then I'll buy four books for Tyler's family side.

But like last year, I had my 12-year-old niece and I got her like a Taylor Swift through the era's outfit like coffee table book.

And then I got my nephew, he's really into pigs.

I got him like a pigology book.

So it was like and someone got George like a reptile book.

So it was fun because you're getting like that kid an interesting book without doing a toy.

Yeah, I'm very much, I'm very much a less is more kind of person.

I like that approach.

And I don't even think like I don't think that one has to be books.

Like I do think if you like the toys, if you want your kids to get certain toys, if toys are like kind of non-negotiable for other people in your family, you can do the same concept and just do toys.

And then Kelly, like you said, she was buying four instead of 10 presents.

Yeah, but just like, and it's from the kids.

Like then you're just kind of like passing that on.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm still kind of feeling like I'm figuring out like my strategy.

As now I like, you know, I have four kids and I'm just kind of like figuring out what's what works, what doesn't.

But yeah, you just don't need.

I also just like really live in a world where like my kids just I buy my kids toys or I find toys at a resale shop or Facebook marketplace.

It's like they're getting toys throughout the year.

And I think that's okay too.

I don't think there needs to be like, why am I just going to give them a thousand toys on Christmas and their birthdays?

It's like, hey, I found the Paw Patrol Tower.

So like it's a random Tuesday after school.

I picked this up on Facebook marketplace like surprise.

Like it's just a surprise.

So then like, I feel like it kind of takes some pressure off of my Christmas and birthdays because it's like, yeah, we get we get toys throughout the year sometimes.

And that's not the thing I do it all the time.

But I'm just not like saving things for like the other day I went to a resale shop with my sister in laws and I found like Power Rangers.

Like they're like 12 inch Power Ranger dolls.

Like it was a good find.

They don't make toys like that anymore.

Now they're like six inches and the arm breaks off.

And I found six of them and I was going to save them for Fred for Christmas.

But I was like, yeah, I'm just going to give it to him.

And like the kids have had nonstop play with it.

Maybe I should have saved it.

Maybe I shouldn't have.

I don't know.

But then had you saved them for Christmas, he's not going to want to play with those.

He's going to pay for a play with something else that you got him because you're going to get him more than just that.

And so now they're just like really enjoying those right now.

Yeah.

So yeah.

That's kind of my overall approach though.

It's like I'm not just something I'm trying to not make Christmas special because I am.

But like I'm not I just don't like when Christmas is all about like the toys.

And I guess I'm not like depriving my children throughout the years throughout the year.

Like I'm just whatever we're just buying like little things here or there.

Or they have their birthday money and like they go by.

I don't know.

Yeah.

So my advice on like the in-law situation though, like obviously always put it on your husband.

Make him do the talking for sure.

And I think you just have to like say it like, Hey, I think we should do secrets and amongst the kids are just kind of a lot.

That way they can feel like they're buying something for their cousin and they can be more involved.

I think that sounds more fun.

And if someone says no, actually I want you to buy all my five kids each their own present.

Like, all right.

Then you have to make them say that.

Then you have to make them say that if that's how they feel.

You have to make them say that.

That would be an insane thing to say.

Okay.

This was the other one, which I feel like we kind of answered, but I'm going to read it in case you have anything else you want to add.

I'm writing into looking for advice on Christmas gifts for kids.

I always seem to overthink and overbuy for my children who are four, two and three months.

Do you have a certain way you've followed?

You've purchased gifts or a certain routine you follow when it comes to buying your kids gifts would love your intel.

Yeah, I feel like I kind of answered that.

Yeah, I feel like you kind of answered that.

I mean, this year, like I'm telling you, I just go, I go slim on Christmas.

And every time I share like my kids Christmas halls, like what Santa brought my kids.

I always get, I guess the compliment of like, well, like thank you for not being an influencer that shows like mountains of presents.

It's like, yeah, obviously.

Yeah.

Like I'm telling you, it's we're slim.

We're getting like maybe four presents a kid.

And like one of those is like probably like a lame pair of shoes or like a coat.

Like that's all I'm doing.

Yeah.

That's all I'm doing.

Yeah.

And I think that's enough.

I think so too.

Another thing.

So we, this is like so random, but just before we move on.

So Liz and I were in Iowa last week.

Des Moines, shout out, had fun.

Oh yeah, we had so much fun.

We spoke at a great conference, Women Leading Change.

Mm hmm.

And honestly, it was great exposure for the podcast.

Like if you're new from the Des Moines conference, thank you for listening and joining in.

Um, one of the questions though, this is like, this is one of the questions.

This is going to be really niche, but I liked my answer and I wanted to share it here for

anyone who wants to hear it maybe.

But one of the questions we got was like, what, what it was about was like, what's one

tool that you utilize as a working mind to make your life easier?

Oh yeah.

And that was an audience questions.

Like I didn't have a prepared answer.

And so I just said the first thing that I literally do.

And it's having a virtual assistant to do some more of my personal things or things I

don't like.

And of course I have a virtual assistant for like the car mom and like the business and

like she helps run my email inbox, my calendar.

But the more I've gotten a good relationship with her and the more I've given myself permission

to offload the things that I'm not good at and I don't enjoy, I've been using Matinee

for.

And I feel like a lot of working moms who maybe have a, have a lot on their plate and they're

trying to juggle it all.

I think you guys would be shocked how affordable and worth it a virtual assistant can be and

they can help with things outside of just your work.

And we love, you know who I'm talking about, Kate, my BFF Kate, who helps moms become

virtual assistants.

But just as a mom who uses a virtual assistant, I can't recommend enough.

And I know, I like, I understand that this isn't going to be for everyone, but I read

the book, the four hour work week, which if you've never read it, I'll just summarize

it for you here.

But it's basically the idea of like, Hey, get an assistant to help you do some of your

work and work less.

And like, is your boss really going to care if some of your assistants answering your

emails or if you're answering your emails, and then you're seeming more productive and

whatever.

Like that's kind of like the premise of the book.

It's like, what can you outsource in your life to work less basically?

And so I like the model of the virtual assistant because it's, she bills me hourly.

Like we have a minimum because she's a great assistant and she wanted like guaranteed hours,

but like you don't have to do that.

And she can help me with anything.

So there was a lot of things in my life that took a lot of brain power and emotional energy

from me and mental energy from me that I held on to for a very long time.

And I think like as, as a mom, there's things that I feel like I should do because it's

like on the mom, I should do that.

An example being like ordering pictures, like ordering how these cupcakes placed in the Jimmy

John's order.

Okay.

Well, those are all things that I hate to do.

Like I don't, I don't, I don't want to sit there and call Walmart and order the cupcakes

and like have to do the brain power of how many get in what color.

Like it's just, that's not for some people for some people are like, okay, but I don't

like doing it.

Like I like doing that.

So you like doing that.

Kelly doesn't like doing that.

That's not where you like to like, you're such a good mom.

Like that does not make, make you a good or a bad mom.

It's just like something you either like doing or you don't like doing.

Or like the, what, what, as long as the cupcakes get there, then you win.

But I held on to those things for, for a very long time.

I think just for like this aside a little pressure of like, I should be that mom.

Okay.

Well, that's, it doesn't, it doesn't matter.

And so I'm really like letting go of that.

And you know, now when I get the question, like how do, and I get the question a lot

like when I do interviews, like, well, how do you balance it all?

It's like, well, I really don't.

And I'm like, I'm realistic with myself and I'm going to outsource like what I can't handle.

So like if Matinee is going to answer my email inbox or she's going to order cupcakes, it

doesn't make a difference to her.

She's excellent at both of them.

And so now that I've just kind of like opened myself up to give them, giving her permission

to do that, it's just been, it's been really helpful.

And like she's so good.

Like for example, she's in my email inbox and like when our kids, our kids got our school

pictures back and I just signed up for the, um, like the digital file, like I don't need

them to like print it off.

And then I print it off myself, like hack and Matinee like solid in my inbox and she

sent it to Walgreens as an eight by 10 and she goes, they're ready for you.

Like she just did it without even asking because she knows she did that last year.

And then when I was like, Hey, I want to order sandwiches for Hattie's birthday.

She's like, she pulled up Georgia's, Georgia's birthday party order.

She goes to me to same as last year with George.

Like, yes, Matinee.

Thank you so much.

You're so good at this.

Yeah.

Like I would have never thought to like pull up last year's receipt.

Right.

You, you don't know where last year's, last year's receipt is.

I don't know where last year's receipt is.

So I'm just saying like, and you know, you could do two hours a week.

You could do eight hours a week.

And maybe I'm sure this is like so unrelatable to some people.

That's fine.

I just wanted to share like, if you have, also, if you're ever wondering how I got

it all done, her name's Matinee and she's incredible.

Shout out, Matinee.

I love Matinee.

Okay.

Industry news is not much going on in the industry today.

You guys, it's the slimmest of pickings.

Like I could tell you about how like Volkswagen stopped making the

Toreg in other countries into the stop making in the US years ago.

Like I could tell you about these things.

There's nothing interesting happening.

Bummer.

But you know what the car mom just post on YouTube is the BMW versus Mercedes

GLS tour.

Oh, that is what's that is what's happening in the industry, because I'm

trying to do comparison videos.

They are such a labor of love.

Yeah.

But I just want to, I have notes, reviews.

I don't know.

I have to, I have to look.

Um, I have notes on how I would like us to approach these in the future.

I don't think this is like our best work as far as a comparison video goes, and

they will get better.

But Kelly kind of like has some hot takes.

Like if you are in the luxury market, I think you should definitely watch that,

that tour.

Mm hmm.

So anyway, we're going to get right into ditch the drive-through where we give

you an easy dinner recipe to mix it up to get you out of your dinner rut.

No, we are.

And it's still Crock-Tober.

Miss so love Crock-Tober, but I'm like so ready for November beef.

Yeah, we picked the November beef recipes.

Get ready y'all.

Mm hmm.

Get ready y'all.

I have not, like I need, I've been so in my dinner rut, like my family's just been

scavenging this week.

You know, when you just have those weeks, when you just scavenging.

Yes, I have been in my dinner rut for what feels like forever.

And this is actually going to be my new micro hobby.

Like this is an area of my motherhood that I feel like I am dropping the ball and I

want to improve on.

I go to the grocery store or Instacart every other day.

It's ridiculous.

And I never, and I somehow never haven't have anything right.

I want to really get to the point of one grocery visit or one Instacart a week, one time.

I know.

And that one girl I follow on tiktok is only going once a month.

I know.

And maybe I'll get that.

I probably won't get there because like, I don't know how you do that.

But like with Sloan, with Sloan having this, this pea milk, this ripple milk, it's like

when you run out of milk, you're not like, oh shoot, like let's go to the gas station

and get like, get another gallon.

Like, no, it's like bad news bears.

Like you have to go to like Target or a grocery store to get this milk.

And sometimes they're sold out.

So like, I really want to like figure out exactly how many bottles she's going, how

many jugs of it she's going through on order them all at the beginning of the week.

I want to have all of my meals figured out, ordered all of my recipes.

I saw someone post this on Instagram.

Sorry.

And then we'll get to the dishes.

I have to, but this reminded me.

She used like, what does like meal, meal service?

Like a HelloFresh.

HelloFresh, something like that.

And she's like, what I loved about it is that they had, they sent me all the ingredients

and I had them all like packaged up together.

So she just took little containers and put all of this, all of the things that go in

the refrigerator for her meal.

So like, let's say she's making like a stir fry.

She put the onion, the bell pepper and the meat and the sauce all in one container

and put it in her fridge.

And now when she has, when it's stir fry night, she's going and she's just

grabbing the container.

It's just like a cute way to like organize your fridge and like put it all together.

I just, I like it.

I'll never, I'll never do that, but I like that for some people.

No, it sounds like something I could do though.

But anyway, I am just really going to work hard and be very, very mindful at trying

to get down to like one grocery visit a week.

And then I'll have a better idea of how much I'm spending on my groceries too.

Yeah, I go once a week, I go once a week, but I haven't done like a haul.

I just don't like target pickups the last week and a half.

Like I haven't like done a grocery haul.

Like we're slim, slim pickings around here, but we're also not.

I just need to be more creative.

Yeah.

So I am going to buy.

So this week's Crock-Tober, I'm very excited about.

Let's get back to Crock-Tober.

Yeah, sorry.

It is Jamaican pork chops with rice.

Mm hmm.

Yum.

I don't think I've ever had like a Jamaican variety.

Hot water, brown sugar, cinnamon, red pepper flakes, cloves, cumin, salt, garlic,

boneless pork chops, onion, bell pepper, corn, black beans, add water, spices,

garlic and sugar to the slow cooker, stir until sugar dissolves, add the pork, add

all the veggies, corns and beans, cook on high for three to four hours, take pork

out, shred, then add back to slow cooker, serve over jasmine rice.

Someone put this in from DMs and they were like, you have to make this.

And you know, it just had a Jamaican.

It felt like a different flavor profile.

We've kind of gone, we're kind of going all around the world with Crock-Tober.

Because we had the butter chicken, we had the chicken and dumplings and now we're in

Jamaica.

Mm hmm.

So that's kind of, yeah, so that's kind of fun.

Tonight though, I'm making a staple, a false staple in my family's favorite meals

and that's pork sausage, sauerkraut and I'm going to make homemade mashed potatoes because

which I hate.

Kelly, they're so easy to make.

I know, I know, I know.

I have a mental block when it comes to potatoes, but they're really going to take

the meal from like zero to hero, like if I can make homemade mashed potatoes.

And I'm telling you, my family, like we need like some stick to your rib food.

Like I feel like we haven't had like all week and we were just like so on the go,

like we went out to lunch, we had Jimmy John's for Hattie's party,

then we had the leftover Jimmy John's for dinner that night.

Like we're after, we're after a stick to your rib kind of meal tonight.

So the baked potatoes, or the mashed potatoes, I just made them the other week.

And I made them for, I made two because I had to make a dairy free one for Sloan and

also my friend came over and had dinner with us and she's dairy free.

Mashed potatoes with pea milk taste the same.

Excellent.

Great.

So if you're looking for a dairy free alternative,

pea milk works really well for mashed potatoes.

Yum.

I'm not going to, I mean, I don't have to do that.

So we're going to do, we're going to do what I'm just saying if you're, if you're out there.

And I'm going to try to like, so I'm going to fry the pork sausage and my cast iron,

and then I'm going to remove it and I'm going to try to make a pan gravy.

Stay tuned.

It's going to get wild over here.

I love it.

That's what I mean.

Like when you were so hard on yourself about like not wanting to order the cupcakes

or like not figure out what your Walgreens app is.

So you can order like photos because you're making a pan gravy.

Like, and that's where you're thriving in your motherhood.

Yeah.

No.

And I just want to say like, I just wanted to bring it up as like an option for like

a working mom, like virtual assistants.

I mean, they come in all different types of hourly rates too.

Like you can get them all over.

And if you were, it's also a great side hustle.

And like there's like working moms out there like me who don't want to order photos,

who don't want to manage their email inbox.

Like I'll text Matney, my entire kid's school calendar when I get it,

and then she'll add every single date to my calendar.

Like I would never do that.

I literally never do that.

I would never get around to that.

I'd miss everything.

Yeah.

Because I'm type B, but I'm a really good delegator.

But I'm kind of type A.

Yeah.

I don't want to put myself in a box.

No.

I don't either.

Anyway, so we have to go because we have a big, big, big torque recording today,

which I have barely spoken about.

Oh my gosh.

And I have to tell another story really quick.

Okay.

And we have people with prestige.

So we're kind of like sat for a little longer.

Okay.

So my press card this week is the Honda Passport,

which is like Honda's five passenger SUV.

It's here's what it is.

It's excellent.

It's one of my favorite five passenger cars.

It is, I mean, of course, it's like a great mom car,

but it's like a great dad car.

Like if you, if your husband's like looking for an SUV,

that's like a little bit more mainly that can still fit the kids,

the Honda Passport is excellent.

I, it got redesigned this year.

I love the exterior.

It's like, I think it's one of Honda's best looking cars, like obsessed.

Anyway, I was, went to Kohl's the other day with my little press card,

like I do, like I'm always popping into Kohl's.

I come out, someone had hit my press car.

It was a hit and run situation.

Yeah, it was bad.

It's a bad, it was bad.

It was not an accident.

They knew what they did.

Yeah.

And I was parked, not purposefully.

I just sometimes, one time my grandma told us,

if you park farther away, you'll live longer.

And now like whenever, like I try to take like the closer parking,

my grandma's head pops and my, my grandma's voice pops in my head

and she goes, well, if you park farther, you'll live longer.

So I always park far away.

Get your saps in.

Do you remember her saying that?

Yes, I think about that all the time.

On a nice day and I don't have the kids, I'm like, okay, I'll,

I can go park far away.

So same.

So I was not, all it says, I was not close.

You were like, not by other cars.

Not by other cars.

That's crazy.

I know it was really bad.

So anyway, I called the, the place who gives me my cars

and they're like, it happens.

It's not a big deal.

And I'm like, this is a big deal.

Like this has never even happened to one of my personal cars before.

Yeah.

This is giving big deal.

So when you watch my tour, you'll see her little love tap and

yeah, unfortunately.

And you know, like, I just like know the mean men on YouTube

are going to be like, say she was driving it.

You know, maybe we'll just be strategic with our camera angles.

We'll do our best.

Okay.

Kel, are you ready for Blake's besties where during the month of October,

we share stories of the babies that we left that left us too soon

during pregnancy and infant loss awareness month.

Yes.

Okay.

This comes from Jessica.

Hi, Kelly and Liz.

I've listened to Blake's besties for years and I've cried with so many of these stories

and now feel compelled to share mine.

We had two smooth planned pregnancies in 2014 and 2017.

Getting pregnant was easy.

We truly thought we were on our way to our dream family of four kids.

In 2019, we started trying for baby number three and I got pregnant right away,

but at 10 weeks, I miscarried.

I was shocked, heartbroken.

I just never imagined miscarried would be part of my story.

Over the next year, we experienced two more miscarriages,

one at 12 weeks, another at 16 weeks, both were miscarriages.

We'd show up to routine checkups only to hear there's no heartbeat.

Each time we got further along, each time it hurt more.

I took a huge toll emotionally, mentally and physically.

Eventually, my husband and I agreed we'd try one last time,

a final chance and whatever happened, we'd accept it.

That last pregnancy gave us our final baby, Hollis Eve.

She arrived on New Year's Day 2022, the perfect way to start a new chapter.

She completed our family.

We're so grateful, but I still sometimes more in the idea of having four children.

I see families of four and think that was supposed to be us,

but I know we made the right choice.

This journey taught me so much about gratitude,

boundaries and surrendering to God's plan.

Thank you for creating space for stories like mine.

Please never stop.

I love the name Hollis.

Yeah, I do too.

I'm loving surnames as names, like last name vibes as names.

Really cute.

I met a girl this weekend and she's naming her baby Yates

with a Y. Isn't that cute? Yates William.

Yeah, that is cute.

I'm into it.

Okay, this comes from Maggie.

Hi Kelly and Liz.

Love listening to your podcast while doing chores at home each week.

I have lost two babies to early miscarriages.

The first in May 2022 and the second November 2024.

Even though we only knew about them for a short time,

it was a blow both times and I still think about them.

We have a four-year-old and a two-year-old.

However, I also just gave birth to twins.

And while obviously they're not the same as the babies we lost,

nothing can replace them.

It has felt like God gave them back to us

in a double rainbow blessing after a double loss.

I wear a necklace with the initials of all six of my babies.

The two we lost, we named Shields and Psalms after parts of Scripture,

that were the most comforting during those losses.

I look forward to hearing two voices.

I never got to hear Call Me Mom and Heaven

and I wonder if they've met their great-grandparents yet.

Thanks for taking the time to read about our family

and for honoring all the babies gone too soon.

And then I have to ask, because in this email she goes,

and for y'all's private entertainment.

Oh, I know, I know.

I didn't send you the rest.

I like screenshot these to Kelly,

because again, she doesn't know how to access this email.

And it was like, I can't send it to you.

It was like a, it was a story, she said.

Okay, it was like, don't leave me hanging.

Yeah, no, I'll send you the rest of it.

So thank you so much for writing in.

If you want to share your own Blake's Besties story,

you can write into hello at thecarmomofficial.com.

And with that, that's going to be our episode.

Lots of twists, lots of turns,

but thank you guys for listening to The Carpool Podcast.

And we will see you on Friday.

We have a very special episode coming out Friday

with a very special guest.

That we do.

We'll see you then.

Bye.

Thank you for listening to The Carpool Podcast

with Kelly and Liz.

Make sure you're subscribed so you never miss an episode.

And if you enjoyed riding with us, tell everybody you know,

there's room in the car for everyone.

TALL GIRL TRAUMA

About this episode

Rolls-Royce Ghosts

Ford Rangers

BMW

Mercedes

Honda Passport

Request an Explanation

Want to learn more?

Help improve this episode

More from The Carpool with Kelly and Lizz