The Funniest Dale & Amy Moments of 2026 (So Far)

The following is a production of Dirty Mo' Media.

Oh, yeah, this is where it's going to be, girl.

If we're going to hang out, open a bunch of jars,

you've got big, strong hands.

Are you suffering from high crack?

I'm working, working that mouth.

Hey, y'all, welcome to the Dirty Mo' Media Studio.

Dale and I are in Sonoma this week.

So here are some best-of clips of some of the funny things

we've talked about.

And before we get started, here's our Drink of the Week.

Let's get into the Drink of the Week,

because Dale's already started drinking his,

and he said it is delicious.

It is good, Red Bull.

Yes, we have a drink which is presented by High Rock,

and we have a new Red Bull cocktail this morning.

What's it called?

What's the new flavor called?

Sudachi.

Your tongue's getting in the way there.

Sudachi.

There you go.

It's lime, basically.

Yes.

It's freaking delicious.

It's delicious all on its own.

It's delicious mixed with the High Rock.

So we've got the Red Bull Sudachi Lime,

one ounce of High Rock vodka, one ounce of pineapple juice,

and an ounce of fresh lime juice.

That is great.

Just mixed together in a glass,

and it is very refreshing.

Let me just tell you.

Is it so good?

Is this your favorite?

That is my new favorite mixed drink.

It is delicious.

Oh, wow.

That is delicious.

Isn't it?

I mean, it basically is kind of...

You can make like a martini out of that, too.

Like, forget the ice.

It tastes a lot.

Yeah, it's got a little margarita vibe to it.

Very lime, very tart, but light and...

Crisp.

Crisp, yep.

Pretty solid, checkin' boxes.

It's like the drink of the summer.

It's like the drink of the summer, absolutely.

And the color of the can is...

And the best part about it is,

it's giving you wings while you're drinking it, you know?

Nobody even thinks about that part,

but that's really the best part.

You're elevated.

I want my motor to run all day long,

and that Red Bull will do it.

See what I mean, people?

He's been drinking his already.

He's already tuned up.

Don't forget to check out highrockvodka.com to...

Boy, that is freakin' delicious, even by itself.

The summer edition.

Hopefully they make this all year long edition.

They should make it the Dale Jr. edition.

The Dale Jr. flavor.

Dale Dutchy.

A little bit of jerky boys, jerky and...

Holy moly.

Give me a... Get me on a boat, right?

Yeah, get me on a boat right now.

I'm like, I was gonna go to Kars tour race Saturday.

God, I'm really contemplating just sittin' on the boat.

Oh my God, the weather's supposed to be nice.

Don't forget to visit highrockvodka.com

to find a vodka bottle near you.

We have new sizes as well.

We have a 1.75 liter coming out.

And also, don't forget to check out the Dale, yeah,

at the Texas Roadhouse.

It is nationwide now.

And it is delicious.

Don't forget, too, you must be 21 years or over

and drink responsibly.

Dale lost his phone!

Why are we...

Woo!

Dale did it, too.

Dale lost his phone.

And it was smashed.

I've been waiting days to say that.

Oh my gosh.

Days, and you didn't bring it with you, did you?

Oh, it is here.

Go get it.

It's upstairs.

Stefan, we need it.

Yep.

He smashed the sh** out of me.

Yeah, I did.

All right, so we're in St. Martin on this great trip.

We have had a day.

And we went...

It's the first day.

I thought it was the second day.

Maybe it was.

It was early.

It was early on in the trip.

We had had a good...

Oh, it was definitely the first night.

It was?

It was.

No, it wasn't after St. Bart's.

Oh, there was a sporting event on.

And it was the night the Hornets lost to Orlando.

I got nothing.

I know what that was.

Robbie probably has it.

I'll go up and get it.

You know what?

Stephen's at lunch.

Ah, sh**.

Well, all right.

We are having a day.

We had so much fun.

We've drank too much.

You know how you are, you know how you are first day.

You're excited to be wherever you are.

Yes.

We're going.

Cameradown.

Having a great time.

And we have rented what they call a moke or a mokey.

At one point when we were going through golf cart stuff,

I wanted to buy one of these and Dale was against it.

And we had never even driven one.

They used to run them and solve his islands and they stopped.

So we didn't get the chance to do that.

So I saw that they were renting them on this island.

I'm like, Joey, we have to get one of these.

And so it's basically like a glorified golf cart.

And so we're taking this thing back and forth

on these rough roads down to the little town center.

And it was a rough ride.

There's no doors on this thing.

And the sides of it scoop super low.

So, you know, hang on, buckle up the whole thing.

Back and forth, go down to this little bar, come back home.

Dale can't find his phone.

Yep.

And meanwhile, we're getting text messages

from both our pilot Joey, from Kelly, to my phone,

to Tara and Tim, because I wasn't answering my phone.

I was trying to be responsible for once

and it kept it in my purse.

Anyway, Dale had run over his phone.

My damn, whoa, we don't know that for sure.

Listen, the thing was completely annihilated.

And it was sending out code red alerts

to all of his emergency contacts.

Like he has been in a crash.

So this phone flew out of his pocket

because he just had a swim trunks on.

Fell out of his pocket when we had a bump

and like flew in the road.

So he could have very well ran over.

The moat doesn't have doors.

No doors.

So the phone just flew.

You know, we're bouncing on these little ruffle roads.

Yeah.

We our house is like half a mile, less than that.

Less than that from this this bar that we'd be hanging out.

We had dinner and all that.

We're bouncing on the way home

and the thing just kind of hopped out of my pocket.

Right. Well, it's at Adios.

It's so smart because either when it hit the ground

or when a car ran over it,

it sends an alert to to to my two emergency contacts,

Amy and Kelly.

Well, Amy's phone is in her purse

and Kelly's texting us going, are y'all OK?

Texting the duggers.

It says that he has been into a crash.

There's been a crash and accident.

Yeah.

And here's the here's the location of the accident.

And so Kelly takes Joey, the pilot,

Joe is trying to leave his hotel room

to drive to wherever this pen is

to find whatever the hell's happened there.

She had been trying.

He thinks we're in a real accident.

And we weren't looking at her phones.

And we, at that point, didn't even know he had lost his phone.

Amy didn't even pull her phone out

to know she even got this text message.

She has no clue.

She's had a great time.

And it wouldn't have.

Amy would have been none the wiser.

Exactly. That's true.

If I wasn't with you, I would have lost lost.

Here's the phone.

He's he's getting smashed.

I'll do my best, Vanna.

It is.

It doesn't look terrible.

Well, look, so.

And this was in a case.

Oh, it was in a case.

So it's still smashed,

but the whole back and the whole front are just shattered.

So we're we're getting.

Yellow doesn't even turn on.

Well, I had I drove to the bar.

I ran back to the bar in the car.

I'm walking around.

I'm there's it's a it's kind of a courtyard

with a lot of restaurants and they're all open air.

And so I'm walking to all the places we were

and the people that work there, the bartenders,

the waiter that saw us, a guy that was playing music.

They're all like, oh, really?

OK, we're looking.

And I've got my Garmin watch on.

And anytime I get near my phone with the Garmin watch,

I'm going to get the text messages and all the alerts.

Right. I'm walking around

waiting on this Garmin watch to start buzzing

so I can know that I'm within 20 feet or whatever of this phone.

It's not happening.

And as much as I want to believe the phone is there,

it ain't there.

And so we drive back home when you get home.

That's when we get the text messages.

Yeah. And that's when we're starting to learn that.

Oh, the phone is in the street.

And he finally takes my phone so that he can track his phone.

Yeah, why don't you do it from the beginning?

Well, I don't know.

This is what happened.

So we I'm not sharing my location with Amy,

which I didn't realize that we always

have. And so I'm going on her phone trying to find mine.

And it's it's like giving me a general area, not necessarily.

It's on the street.

It's like you're in this state.

You're in this city, right?

It's not like it's not giving me a direct and then it dawned on me.

Get get my iPad out.

So I get my iPad out.

My iPad is like, there it is.

There's your phone.

And I'm like, and so we take up my iPad's got one percent.

It's dead, right?

I can't take my iPad with me to locate the phone.

So I get Tim.

Doug our buddy to take a picture of the iPad screen and me and him drive

down the street and right where it's that it was is the phone landed

the street going bing ing ding ding,

raising hell.

It is crushed.

It is completely.

The screen doesn't work.

Can't get it back.

You can't use it.

You can't call it, but it's going berserk.

How and how calls that technology.

that it sent out to my emergency contacts

that there was an issue and that it was destroyed

by how many, maybe I ran over it multiple times

going back to look for it.

Certainly other cars hit it and it was still good enough

right to be screaming, here I am.

The whole thing is just so ironic because he went postal

when I lost mine and he went postal even more

when he lost his and I thought there's just nothing

that's gonna send this man more

than somebody losing their phone.

I have an opinion about that.

So I lost mine because it bounced out of my pocket.

I didn't lose mine, it was my hotel room.

I know, in my mind.

So that's the thing, like I wasn't even that irresponsible.

I know, in my mind, in both cases, my case and yours,

I thought you left yours at a bar on a table

and I left mine at the bar somewhere,

somehow, right, or in a chair.

I do wanna do this and I told Nicole I might,

but she's, so we're riding to school this morning

and she's telling me about the Texas trip.

She goes, dad, remember last year

you were helping me find the eggs during the Easter egg hunt?

I was like, yeah, she's like, yeah.

You're gonna do that again, dad?

She didn't say that.

No, she didn't.

She just goes, you remember that?

Sure, memory's really good.

She's got a lot of attention to teach you.

Yeah, I do remember that.

And I was wanting her, or waiting for her to go,

let's do that again or whatever.

And I think she was trying to get there.

And she was like, let's play a game.

I was like, all right.

She goes, my favorite food.

And I said, man, I don't know.

She goes, I said, is it a dessert?

She goes, yeah.

I said, ice cream?

She goes, no.

I said, candy?

She goes, yeah.

I said, candy's not a food, honey.

We can't live on candy.

She goes, well, okay.

What's my favorite candy?

And I was like,

Curry asked the question.

I was like, well, she goes, it starts with an S.

And I was like, she goes, it's sour.

I was like, she says it comes in a bag.

I was like, what color is it?

She goes, it's all colors.

And I'm like, okay.

And I was like, Skittles.

She goes, those aren't sour.

I'm like, they can be.

She goes, no, this is really, really sour.

And I was like, starts with an S.

And she's back there going, I'm like,

I know what an S sounds like.

She's just really trying to help you out.

And it was sour patch kids.

And I was like, oh,

that's what took the tooth out.

When I went to Key West,

I got a bag of, of cry baby tears.

Yeah.

And I'm like, Koli, if you like sour,

I got a candy you need to try.

It's real sour.

Now it's sour, sour.

She goes, oh, another clue she gave me was hilarious.

I was like, on the sour patch kids,

I was like, give me a clue.

What's it shaped like?

She goes, kids.

I'm like, wait, what?

It's a candy.

And it looks like little people.

And she goes, yep.

And it's sour.

And you still didn't get it.

I didn't.

I don't know.

Do they, are they shaped like kids?

Yes.

Really?

Sour patch kids.

I know, but they're little kids.

Yes.

Oh, I've never seen this.

How have you not?

Look.

They all aren't hard.

Junior, they look like a little crater kid.

Well, there you go.

I have never seen one.

I've got seen these bags, but I've never.

You don't see them.

They fly straight from the bag, straight to his mouth,

straight past his vision.

I don't eat them.

Well, that's what you were eating in Colorado

when your tooth came out.

They were shaped like watermelons.

Yes.

Two deals defense.

This photo here.

There you go.

Yeah, but they're called kids.

Sour patch kids.

All right.

So, all right.

So that happens.

And I got, I said, I got this candy you need to try.

And it's cry baby tears.

Or I said, it's cry babies.

And she goes, are they shaped?

Are those the ones that are individually wrapped?

They look like, shaped like tears.

And, but I don't know if they're cry baby tears

or just cry babies, but that's what it is.

Yeah, I've never had those.

And she goes, is it shaped like little babies?

I was like, no.

That's a great question considering the kids.

I was like, no, it's shaped like a little tear.

You're not going to eat babies.

Well, we just got off to talking about little kids.

I know.

And so she's thinking for sure.

Cry babies must be shaped like a baby.

And she goes, is it going to make me cry?

I hope it don't make me cry.

I'm like, no, I don't think it really will make you cry.

I feel like we need to give her some of these.

Oh, we're going to.

And so after school, I said you could try one.

You have some at home?

Bag.

Yes, I got them from Key West.

Whole bag.

Oh, you still have them.

So he hasn't eaten his candy.

He still hasn't eaten the Key West candy.

Look at him.

There's a lot of it.

I got crybaby tears, crybaby gum, and then some caramels.

What are the ones that are like little rounds

and they usually are warheads?

Warheads.

Those are pretty good.

They're a hard candy.

I like crybabies and the crybaby tears are good.

Super sour.

I'll try one too.

Yeah, they're good.

I got a conference call after this.

Do you?

Is it with Red Bull?

Because it should be.

It's with a Panini card company.

Oh, really?

Oh, my God.

I got this.

Man, alive.

I predicted correctly, Travis.

We had this talk.

This dude, I saw that y'all talked about it already,

so I'll go light.

But we got home from the beach on Sunday at 2 o'clock.

I haven't seen him since.

I haven't seen his essence.

He has been upstairs in the library,

cataloging, scanning, pricing.

It's like he's not even existing in our lives this week.

So yeah.

Well, last night he had him all over the kitchen counter

and I looked at him and was like, are you gonna,

are you about done?

Yeah.

He goes, what?

I was like, are you about done with that?

It's the only thing you've done all week.

Yeah.

That was so annoyed.

Yeah, I got excited about the cards, collecting cards.

I used to collect them when I was little

and I have a bunch of cards that I've just stored away.

I haven't looked at them in 30 years.

And I didn't think they were worth crap,

but there's a bunch of like Cal Ripkins

and King Griffith Juniors and Frank Thomas and Bo Jackson.

And there's, I'm like, I don't remember having all of this,

but I'm going through there.

I'm like, damn, this is a $50 card.

This is a $100 card.

This is a $200 card.

This is a...

I thought for sure he had bought all of these boxes.

No.

There are so many more boxes

and he claimed that he had collected to begin with.

Like you really didn't remember apparently.

I didn't even know that.

I thought you had just bought all that.

I had, so I had two closets full

and I only thought I had one little closet.

And I found some more because I was missing some.

And I was like, I know I got some stuff.

I had stuff down stairs that I had stored away.

But so I'm learning like these things have been...

I opened the packs and I collected from 88 to 91.

I opened all the packs the day I bought them

and put them away and haven't touched them.

And these cards are in mint condition.

And so they're all worth thousands of dollars

and so in total, right?

And so I bet you there's some good cards.

So...

So you haven't been upstairs ripping packs as you're saying?

No.

You're not buying?

I'm going through my old stuff.

You haven't bought any new ones?

A little, but not much.

I bought two boxes and that's it.

But and there, I mean, those is about 100 cards.

Well, the way you've been talking to about ripping packs,

I thought if he had bought all of these

and he's sitting up there doing this by himself,

how sad is that?

We've reached a new level.

If you're gonna be ripping packs, let me know.

I'll come over.

See?

That's what I was thinking too.

Like, are you supposed to do this with someone else?

I don't want to give it away

till I get buy-in from Panini.

But I'm gonna present Panini with an idea today

about a very, very limited edition card.

It's truly a home run.

It is absolutely a home run, no pun intended.

Like, actually, honestly, when he told me,

grand slam, like, legitimately, I'm like,

okay, this is something you should pursue.

So, I'm, this is-

Are you gonna share it right now?

Well, no, so I'm-

I never get to know.

Well, I'll tell you after,

I don't want to tell it because if it don't happen.

Oh.

But-

We'll see if this is, if you really want it to happen,

this is how you play this.

I know, but I think it's best to have a conference-

I hear you.

I'm just messing-

Conference call.

So,

this is,

this is my,

this is a flaw,

massive flaw in me.

Okay?

I

am, I have a very addictive personality.

And when I

like something,

I do, I want to do it every minute of that day.

And so, as soon as I like getting to doing something,

or starting to mess with something,

collecting, or-

If it's collect,

if it involves collecting,

if it involves organizing,

or itemizing,

I like the,

for some reason,

I get the dopamine from,

from like organizing things and putting things in order.

Yep.

And so,

so like collecting the cards,

or just going through my cards,

I'll open up on my iPad,

there's a website,

and it'll say here are the top 20 cards,

the most valuable ones out of this year set.

And so I'll go,

okay, there's the 20 cards.

Let's go through,

there's one,

there's one.

And then when I'm done,

I put them all in this nice little plastic sleeve,

so they're better protected

so they'll last another 30 years.

And then you kind of rank,

do you file them in the ranking?

And then I put them in a nice metal box.

And so-

What do you do with the rest of them?

They go back in the-

They go back in the car,

they go back in the little white sleeves

and go put them back in the closet.

Cause they're worth a quarter of a piece.

And so I get addicted to that,

and I want to do that,

like it's driving,

like it's at the forefront of my brain,

even when there's other things I need to be doing

that I know I've got to do,

that that's like,

oh, okay, I'll do that,

but I'll get back to cards,

and I'll do that,

and I'll get back to cards,

and I'll do that,

and I'll get back to cards.

And so I'll-

It's manic.

Yeah.

I'll go through this whole huge arc of obsession

over something,

and it crescendos into a final project.

And I think that's what this card idea is.

So I went in just a couple of days from,

like, man,

I want to kind of get back into collecting.

Yeah, okay.

I remember what that was like.

That was fun.

I'm good.

To,

I want to make a card.

You know, I've,

I bring those card sleeves home

and I sign them from Vanini, right?

Yeah.

And I lay them out on the table

when we're signing them.

And I've done that for years

and never thought nothing about them.

This is a,

you know, never looked at them

and went,

what's the difference between this card

and this one?

This one's blue,

this one's green,

this one's red,

but it's all,

you know,

I've never really tried to,

it's all sitting right there in front of me,

but I don't really-

It's never just-

Click.

Maybe a light bulb go off, yeah?

Well, in the just simple couple of days

I've been messing with this,

I came up with the idea

to actually create what I believe

will be the most sought after card.

It's so intense.

Racing ever.

Okay.

He's not wrong.

I believe you,

especially with Travis is behind it.

Like I feel,

you can't wait to hear.

While yes,

it has been annoying

that I've been-

It's been a long week.

Yeah.

I've been in-

Single mom and-

Yeah.

It's been annoying

because I've been sitting in the library all day.

You've got too many spaces to hide too,

by the way.

Yeah.

It's gonna come up.

It's gonna,

if this plan works,

it's gonna be worth it.

Can't wait.

Can't wait to hear what it is.

You and your plans.

Yeah.

And I'm, yeah.

But it gets all kinds of things started.

Like I was,

I called Steve Myers today.

We're working on the next console game for NASCAR.

Yeah.

And I called him today and I was like,

man, there's gotta be a way where we can,

where Panini or the card company

and the console maker,

iRacing,

there could be a way for the two to play together

in the game to produce

an opportunity for a specific card for the user,

something.

It's gotta be,

it just makes things,

you know.

All about connecting people, huh?

Yeah.

So stuff comes out of this.

I know I'm just sitting up there looking at cards.

You can justify anything.

I'm excited to see what the card is.

He's just saying.

I'm just saying.

That's it.

I'm just saying.

Dampening.

It's the dampener.

Like don't build me up to dampen me down.

I just don't understand it.

We need to get Stephen Steffen in here.

Can you see if Stephen is available?

And can he come to a hot mic in there in the booth?

We have a mystery to solve.

We got around to the conversation about the keys,

by the way, because of a key chain.

Isla had a key chain she wanted to use

or she saw a key chain, she had a key chain.

She goes like, why did they call it a key chain?

I don't understand it.

And I was like, well, you know,

people used to have keys for everything.

You had a key for your house, you had a key for your car.

You had a key for your locker.

You had a key for this or that.

Sunny still has it.

Yeah.

I'm like, sometimes, you know,

you have to have all of it.

So you'd loop them together on those little rings

and then you'd have a key chain.

And so that's how we got to the car thing.

Fob comes from, it's a German word.

It's a German word.

Yeah.

It's FAB, not FOB.

So the word small pocket is FOBKE.

And so that's how the Fob comes from.

And Stephen's on his way down here.

Yeah, Stephen Stephens.

So Stephen Stephens is a, you know,

the dream, the dream team.

A lot of folks know Stephen, but Stephen Stephens

is kind of a jack-of-all-trades,

does a lot of different things within the organization

at Junior Merch Sports and for me and Amy.

How's it going, Stephen?

Good, how are you guys?

Yeah, pretty good.

So let me tell us, set this up here.

Amy loves carrot cake.

We're going to, you know, get her a carrot cake for her birthday.

We, me.

For the first time ever.

And, you know, last year at this time,

I forgot the carrot cake and I got her what I wanted,

which was Red Velvet.

Steve Park coming here and delivered us a carrot cake

from a local bakery.

And Amy loved that carrot cake and said,

when you get me one, get me one from this place.

Yes.

Well, who didn't like a local bakery anyway, it's special.

So I was, I'm going to go pick up a cake

and so I give, I went online, found the...

He found the Bunt Cake.

I found the Bunt Cake Place.

Oh, I see what happened.

So I Googled carrot cake near me and it found...

He's so ill equipped to find a damn carrot cake in town.

He has a Google carrot cake near me.

By chance, it brings up, I know what happened, Steven.

By chance, it brings up good eats and sweets by Dan.

And that is the place that Steve Park brought the other...

And that is pure coincidence that that is what it gave me.

God gave you that.

God handed you that.

Here's the place you need to go.

I screenshot it on my phone, has the phone number on it,

and I texted it to Steven.

I said, Steven, call this number, order the cake.

I'm going to pick it up.

Don't go get it.

I'm going to get it.

And so I didn't think it was a big deal if he ordered it,

but I knew that for your cake,

you wanted me to go actively go retrieve it.

So...

Were you about to say Fitch?

No.

And so I'm going to go get this cake.

In my head, I have ordered the cake from a Bunt Cake Place.

And I'm over by...

Everybody knows everything but Bunt Cakes,

the Bunt Cake Joint.

It's everywhere now.

Everything but Bunt Cakes or something?

Yeah, everything but Bunt Cakes.

In my head, that's where we've ordered the cake from.

And so when he says the cake is ready,

I drive over to the Bunt Cake Store.

And I...

That we'd have...

This is where there's a question in play still.

Dale says he picks up the Bunt Cake.

Let me get there.

I hadn't even gotten that part.

I walk in thinking that this is where the cake's at.

I walk up and I'm standing there

thinking that there's an Amy cake in the back.

The lady walks out and goes,

hey, what do you need?

What can I do for you?

What are you here for?

And I'm like, well, there's a birthday cake for Amy

in the back, I'm here to get it.

She goes, oh, okay, all right.

She walks back there.

You know, rummage is around and produces a cake.

And I'm in there waiting on her and I find a card

and all this stuff on the rack and I'm like,

all right, perfect, I'm gonna get a card,

I'll draw in it and the kids can draw in it.

I'll draw in it.

I'm gonna draw in it and the kids can draw in it

and we'll give her the card and...

The lady produces a cake, I buy the card, the cake,

and walk out.

I've got the cake.

Well, I put it in the refrigerator at home, it's still there.

We didn't even look at it.

A day later, this is on Monday, Tuesday,

Stefan calls and says, hey man, they still got the cake.

I was like, they ain't got the cake, I picked it up.

And he's like, no man, they got the cake.

They say you ain't came and got it.

And he's like, I'm gonna go take care of it.

I'm gonna go by there and see what's going on here.

And in my mind, I think he's going to the Bunt Cake place.

And he goes there, picks up a cake,

he takes a picture of it and I'm like,

that's way different looking.

And I said, we'll bring...

He goes, that's not round.

He asked me, he's like,

what's the cakes with the hole in the middle?

What's that called?

I'm like, a Bunt Cake?

So he was like, you got a Bunt Cake?

That's not the cake that we talked about.

So I said, Steven, bring that cake to the house.

He brings it over and now I got two cakes.

But we still don't know what type of cake

is in the Bunt Cake box or what other Amy

is missing their cake.

Yes.

So now we know, I figured it out.

You ordered from the right place

because that's the number I gave you.

I thought you ordered from Bunt Cake.

I went to Bunt Cake, walked in there

and pulled a cake out of that place

that belonged to somebody else.

And you brought the right cake.

So we were able to eat the cake Amy wanted,

but somebody from Bunt Cake is cake-less.

Or they just made you one.

Somebody else named Amy

who also had a birthday this week.

We're very sorry.

We didn't mean to do that.

But they've got lots of cakes in there.

Surely they could reproduce another one.

Oh my gosh.

But we still don't even know

what flavor the cake is that we have.

And they do make carrot cake.

You must have gone in there and just made a scene.

I didn't.

Scared that lady and she just gave you the cake.

I didn't make a scene?

Del Juna came in here raving about some cake.

And so I just threw him one.

He said, there's cake back there for me.

Like he held it going to her like,

give me a cake, sweetie.

No.

That's not at all.

I walked in, I said, you know, in my mind,

she knows there's, you know, in my mind,

I'm at the right place with the cake

and Amy's cake's back there.

And I go, yeah, you got a cake for Amy in the back.

I'm here to get it.

And she goes, oh, okay, let me go back there.

She goes back there, comes back out with a cake.

And she goes, here you go.

Happy birthday, you know, it's got all the things on it.

Happy birthday.

All the stuff on it.

Yo, you totally did steal somebody's cake.

Oh my God.

I feel like we need to go back and like apologize.

You said you just paid for the card.

I thought, I need to look at the receipt,

but when that's another thing.

So when I asked her, I put the card on the table

and I said, she, she sets the cake down and goes,

you're all set.

And I go, I know.

And I go, now we've stolen a cake.

I go, hey, I want to buy this card.

And she rings the card up like five bucks.

So I didn't pay for a cake.

Oh my gosh.

But I'm, I mean, look, man, I'm not,

I'm walking out thinking, damn,

maybe he, he put a card on it or something.

Yeah.

If that was the place, I would have.

You straight hijacked a cake.

I know.

I mean, whoever paid, whoever's cake it was,

it prepaid, I suppose.

Yeah.

We need to go back and pay for the cake.

Yeah.

We'll take it back.

No, we're not taking the cake back.

We should take it back.

You can't return the cake.

We're gonna eat it.

We're gonna eat the cake.

It's for us now.

It's our cake now.

This is kind of like the, the razor like.

We haven't eaten half of the second cake.

I know it's really big.

Yeah.

I thought you were going to bring it.

Well, I was dealing with the cold before I left

and I didn't, I couldn't, but I can still do that.

I got to run back by the house later and bring it back

and share the cake, but I might just bring both

and we can mystery, we can cut in

and see what we actually came up with.

We're very sorry about the bundt cake.

Yeah, we are.

We'll figure it out.

We're gonna come back and pay for that.

We'll drop out of the bundt cake store

and explain ourselves.

This is the gender of your cake.

Oh my God.

That would be amazing.

Do they do that there?

It is a, it is a carrot cake.

You can see there's no way it's a pink or blue in the middle.

It's carrot colored.

It's, they don't make carrot colored cakes.

Carrot cake, colored cake.

So I went to breakfast yesterday morning

and my girlfriend, Jamie Goddard,

also brought me a mini, like a single version

of a, of a bundt cake that's carrot cake.

And they're, they're, they could be confused

with a lot of other cakes.

It's just like a brown cake, you know what I mean?

Gus has been next level annoying cause he,

so, and I'm sorry if this is bothering some of you,

animal dog lovelies, I'm, I've got a dog.

I'm a dog lover, but I don't love the way he's been acting.

We, he too feels trapped.

He's like, I want to go outside.

I want to drink out of the fountain.

That's not frozen over.

That's his, he thinks that's his water bowl, truly.

So he goes outside and he's like,

this is the experience with Gus.

All right.

So usually Gus is happy, calm, laying around,

napping all day and he gets excited

when he wants to go outside and he,

he hops around the floor and that's, that's the cue.

I want to go out and he's thrilled.

You know, go over the door, open it up, it goes outside

and he's going to come back to the door

in about 10 or 15 minutes and he'll bark.

He might lay down on the porch for a while

and chill and look out and he'll start barking.

He'll just, you'll just hear him.

And that's come, get me, let me back in.

No problem.

He's going to want to go do this again,

maybe an hour or two later.

And that's sort of the pattern

and that's what we've done for, for a long time.

But during the snow, so we got the ice first, right?

We had that ice storm, Gus is getting old

and he's got arthritis in his hips

and he's got a bunch of fatty growths and all this stuff.

And he's just, he has a harder time.

He jumps up on the couch.

It's not as easy as it used to be.

Sometimes he misses, sometimes he's straight.

When he lays around for a while and he gets up,

it's a while before he can get moving.

So he kind of, you know, if he lays down,

like all of us at our age,

if he lays down when you get up your sore,

you know, from sitting in the same spot for five minutes.

And so, but so we get the ice storm,

he goes outside and his feet busts through the ice.

He gets 15 yards from the house

and his feet bust through the ice.

And he's like, I'm stuck.

Yeah. Hey.

He goes kind of talk and just starts talking and won't move.

Yeah. He won't move.

He's 15 feet from the door

and his feet have just fell through the two inches of ice.

And he's like, come get me.

I'm stuck.

And that's literally it.

And, and so Dale's like,

I think something's wrong with the dog

because he's walking around out there.

Like he's basically sliding,

but he's hunched over.

Like he won't stand up straight all the way.

Walks so funny on the ice.

I think that's his arthritis

or maybe he thinks he's going to the bathroom and he's not.

I don't know. What did he get into?

Would you feed him through the mountain of things

other than it's just ice?

If we don't take him out before bedtime,

he gets us up at 4213 in the morning.

He gets us up and maybe you might take him down some,

but most time I'm taking him down.

And I go down there, let him out.

I'm in my damn underwear, you know, and I let him out.

We didn't do that.

Huh? I'm sorry.

We didn't need that.

It's hard to catch what you're saying.

I'm just letting you know

that I'm not ready to walk outside.

He's not prepared for what I was about to ensue.

He goes out in the yard, falls through the ice

and he's like, all right, come get me.

And I'm like, all right, so I go put on pants,

put on a jacket, go outside and I go to him.

And as soon as I go to him, he starts growling at me.

Like, am I helping you?

You don't want to help.

What's the damn deal?

You gonna growl at me?

I'm out here, I'm 15 degrees outside.

I'm here to carry your ass, your 80 pound ass inside

and you're growling.

And so, and I'll take him back inside.

So that's what happens in the middle of the night.

What happens during the day is he wants to go outside,

you take him outside, he stands on the porch,

he goes, it's cold.

Let me back in.

So he starts barking at the door,

you let him back in, five minutes goes by

and he has completely forgotten about that

and he wants to go back outside.

He's restless as well.

Yes, and he goes back outside and he's like,

holy, it's cold out here.

Let me back in and he wants back in.

And then five minutes later, he's forgotten about that.

And it's like this constant, he's like,

let me out, out.

And you're like, we just let you out.

Like, what are you doing?

You're going out there, you're using the bathroom at all?

I think he wants you to come out with him.

So he, when it's warmer, he and I go out for a walk.

Well, we haven't been doing that.

And so he's getting all excited

because he wants you to come outside with him.

When you close the door and he's like, oh, damn,

I don't wanna be out here by myself.

I don't entertain that idea

because I've never been the one to walk in.

I've never gonna be, I am taking the dog for a walk.

I didn't, I don't, we live on a farm.

My dog takes his own ass for a walk.

I don't live in the city.

I'm not walking my dog down the road to get his leg stretch.

If his ass needs to go outside,

he can take his own ass for a walk.

We got 300 acres, be my guest, wear yourself out.

But this like, oh, we gotta take him for a lap.

So his anxiety calms down.

That's, I like, I have a hard time with that.

You are that.

I am that.

You are just like that.

I don't need you to take me for a walk around the property.

No, but you need me to lay on the couch with you

so you can recharge, as you say.

Well, that's the damn difference.

I don't know.

He's used to that.

We walk together, we get the energy out.

He has not been able to do that.

That's why he's bothering you.

But also he doesn't growl at me.

Like if I go outside with the dog

or if I go lay on him on the couch,

he doesn't growl at me, not ever.

He only does that to Dale.

I don't know what that is.

They have like this weird relationship, but.

Yeah, or dudes, maybe you could have like cleared a path

form where like he gets some grass to, you know.

We did that.

Yeah, I laid it.

So when the ice storm was coming, preemptively,

I laid out all of the felt blankets

and different blankets like I have in the dog room,

down the stairs, across the path, into the grass.

So like he had his own little section

that was not gonna get iced.

And he would walk over the ice to the,

he was always going towards that fountain.

But anyway, he's, he's just spoiled.

He's got all those things.

He just wants attention.

I haven't had to go outside to pick him up

and bring him back in since the ice.

I'd say it's been a week.

We had seven and a half inches of snow.

I'm like, all right, we're over the ice.

The other two nights ago,

he's like, I gotta go downstairs.

It's one o'clock in the morning.

We get down.

I like how you interpret how he's speaking.

If he could speak to you.

He's like, oh, he gets up.

His bed is in the floor at the end of our bed.

And he gets up and he paces up my side, up Amy's side.

He's just waiting to see who's gonna get up first.

And he pants really loudly.

And he drags his feet.

He waits.

So he's intentionally like making as much noise as he can

to get one of us to get up and let his ass go down.

So he will not go down a set of stairs.

He falls.

If he goes down the stairs.

He will slide all the way down.

See very good.

His legs don't work.

So we gotta go down an elevator.

So I get up, I take him into the elevator.

We go down and he doesn't go to the front door,

which is where he should go.

He wants to go out back.

Out back's the hill that he's getting stuck on.

But we haven't happened in a couple of days.

And his ass goes out there and I watch him

and he walks around.

He takes his poop.

He takes his pee.

And then he just sticks around.

He locks up.

He goes, come get me.

He's playing.

He's down this hill.

And I see him like.

He's like, I know you're going to be cold.

I know you don't have any clothes on.

I see him like moving his front legs.

He's like, I can't, I can't get on the hill.

He's asserting his dominance over you, Dale.

Yeah.

He's acting like he needs wheelchair.

He's like, you ain't the boss of me.

I'm the boss of me.

Come get me.

Help, help.

Come get me.

I'm going to freeze.

Yeah, you're his ****.

That's not right.

But that's not how it is.

So I have to get my pants on and go out there

and pick him up.

Don't pick me up.

And I'm like, this sucks.

You wanted this.

I don't.

I did not want this.

This is not the park.

I don't know that this is experience for every dog owner.

Well, when they get older, you have all kinds of things

you didn't experience.

You didn't have that with Rocket.

Look, I don't want to put him down.

I'm not saying let's get rid of him.

I didn't hear you say that.

I'm not accusing you of that.

I just want to get on my chest.

I'm I believe my you're so maybe that's me relating to you.

Right.

And you're you're feeling like you got island fever.

You're claustrophobic and need to get out of the house.

Yeah, you see some friends.

Yeah.

Not everybody needs to see a therapist,

but like I absolutely believe in therapy,

especially when you meet the right person

that that you have a comfortable connection with.

And not every, you know, I don't know if you if you go see

five therapists, only one or two, or you're going to really

like want to go back and see and feel like you can you can make a bond with.

I got put in therapy when I was 12.

I went to other therapists in between then and Marion, Amy,

me and Amy saw a therapist for a while and that was absolutely

extremely successful because like I was saying, I was really selfish.

I didn't know how to be a boyfriend.

Didn't know how to I mean, my idea of a date was doing

whatever I wanted to do, grabbing drinks and raising hell wasn't.

You know, I didn't care if she had fun.

You know, my knees were not me.

I figured if she was with me, she was fine.

Right. But and he might have said that a lot of couple of times

like what you're grabbing about.

We went we went to this therapist to get our relationship

to peak performance and this lady was bad ass.

And she would tell she would put me in my place.

She'd put Amy in her place.

It felt like it was super.

She was very fair fair.

We invited her to our wedding.

She was also very calm and like really very cool in my back.

And so listening to her was easy.

She we invited her to our wedding

because we felt like she was really the reason that we were able to get married.

Yeah, one of my favorite things that she told us.

And now this is this is her words.

And I was I was like, I wasn't expecting this, right?

Because, you know, me and Amy would get in arguments from time to time,

just like anybody else.

And it was often, if not always, when we had been drinking, you know,

we'd been day drinking or night drinking or whatever.

We're out and having a few drinks and we get annoyed with each other

or somebody's feelings get hurt and it was just kind of spiral.

And we kept going to her and talking her.

And she's like, you know, and we tell her what happened, what got us mad.

She'd say, had y'all been drinking?

And we're like, yeah.

And she'd go. And finally, you know, we go, we've been going for, you know,

six months or whatever. I don't know why.

I don't think it was that long.

All right, whatever. We've been going for a few maybe six sessions.

Yeah. And she goes, we came in there mad as hell at each other.

Like the whole call right down to Charlotte.

We didn't speak to each other, but we're going because we know

we're going to we know we're going to come out of this session with some good notes.

We had gotten into an argument and we had been drinking a couple of beers

and hanging out.

Me and Amy would sit down in the basement at night, you know,

just by ourselves before we had kids and just I'd I'd drag her down there.

I'd be, come on, let's go downstairs and drink some beer.

And, you know, she reluctantly go.

And by the end of the night, she's, you know, we're bickering

and and and not not seeing out on something.

But we go into the therapy and she and we're sitting down, we're talking to her

and she goes, were y'all drinking? We're like, yeah, we were we were drinking.

And she goes, I got a bit of advice for you.

She goes, maybe y'all should not drink.

And I said, not happening.

Yeah. He said to her, he's like, no, not in the cards, lady.

I said, I'm in. I'm not going to quit drinking beer.

And she goes, well, then quit giving a about what each other's saying.

And you got to wake up and high five each other.

I was like, good night. That was fun.

Whoopsie. Like, don't care so much about those stupid little are you.

I was sitting there and I was like, who likes 80s music more?

Like it was absolutely ass.

I was sitting there and I was like, wait, that's on the table.

And I looked at Amy, I was like, you in, you in with this?

Like, you just don't let's just not give a if we disagree about something

or get to each other. We're just going to say, you know,

well, half the time, too, one of us is disagreeing with the other person.

And then the other person's like offended that there was a disagreement.

Like, like how come you don't see it my way?

Doing that. Yeah.

And so it really translated into that.

Everything just chilled out after that.

Oh, from that, dude, from that moment on,

and she literally was like, if you're not going to quit that,

if you're not going to quit drinking, then quit giving a about these silly arguments

and just get up in the morning and go, hey, we got we didn't agree on something.

But, you know, love you.

Yeah. And literally we adopted that.

And I mean, that was like 90 percent of our

it was issues. Yeah, because we would carry the scrudge, you know, for days.

We're good at that, too. Oh, yeah.

I would have loved to see Bell's reaction when she said, don't drink, dude.

Well, I mean, that was very quick.

I was like, nah, not having a stop drinking beer.

Nope. Yeah.

Well, then stop caring so much about that.

It's not a big deal. It was awesome. Yeah.

And I was like, what a rational thought.

I was like, hell, dude, you're amazing.

Yeah. So we still go see her just because surely there's something, but she retired.

Yeah. So we would still go see her today.

Just because you're a misser.

Yeah. And like, it's like going to get your old change.

You're keeping your car minutes up, you know?

That's the way I look at therapy today.

Like, I don't, I probably, you know, got a few things I need to work on for my

childhood or whatever, but I'm pretty happy where I'm at.

So I don't like go regularly, but every now and then I'll call up my therapist

and say, hey, man, I'm gonna come in and let's just have a, you know, sit down

and see what's going on.

And to Amy's point, like you get to a point where you're like,

I don't really feel like I got anything to talk about today.

I'm going to go and you go in there and you end up doing a little work, you know?

And it's like going to church and never leave.

They're going, well, that was a waste of time.

Yeah. I will say, though, I've never experienced

the success that we had with our, the lady, me and Amy saw.

And every single time we left, we felt like a million bucks.

Like we'd sit down with her for an hour and we'd get, we'd come.

We'd go in there so discouraged, so lost and like not knowing what to do next

and whether, you know, we just, we just so disappointed and discouraged.

And we would leave there feeling like we got the tools.

We're going to get this right.

It's going to be great, you know, every time, every time we never left there

feeling like they want, you weren't seen or heard.

Man, that didn't. Yeah.

Man, she was, she was so good.

I remember going in there very first time and feeling like I'm, you know,

just don't have a lot of confidence.

Things were pretty, things were pretty.

It was a lot.

It was mad too that we had to drive all the way down to Charlotte.

Oh, it's my way far, so far.

I don't go to Charlotte.

I don't ever go to Charlotte.

I think you live 45 minutes away.

Somebody got to be somebody closer, right?

20 minutes.

No. Yeah.

It was worth, it was worth every mile.

Jane was her name. Yeah, Jane.

She's a, honestly, man, I'm telling you, she was, she was an angel.

Get from heaven.

All right, everybody, that's the show.

I hope you enjoyed that.

Me and Amy will get back into the studio ASAP.

Also, check out the merch line at shop.dirtymomedia.com.

There's so much stuff there to to take a look at and tell us what you like.

Tell us what you what you want.

Maybe we're not making.

It's been a lot of fun.

We'll see you around next time.

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