The Zombie 500

This is off track.

Thank God James isn't here. You look like,

um, .

I shaved, I shaved this morning. Hmm.

We brought up that Halloween costume that you were at one point Peter Pan or something when you had the leggings on.

Again. I was shaggy from Scooby-Doo, but you know, and

You, you look, you look like you did in that picture.

Okay. I think it's the same top actually. I

Like sewing sc Uh, I think he has, was it a Yeah, it is a green top.

It's not this one. Yeah. Because it was like a deep

V Sure. Green top.

Sure. It's a great costume.

But I bet if you, while we're chatting, I bet if you pull up the picture, you'll understand exactly what I'm saying.

Uh, yeah. Anyways, thank God James isn't here.

We can finally, um, you know, actually cover some stuff that matters, you know? Well,

We should probably wait on Nashville till he's with us.

Man. I don't even, like, I know that's a kind of a gag,

but like, legitimately, I don't even know if I could, I I don't think I could recap Nashville.

I don't, I don't remember anything.

So where are you now? Are you still in England?

I'm in England. I go home, uh, tomorrow morning.

Okay. And I think the, the sign that you had a good

vacation is like when you're ready to go home. Like

Yeah.

Yeah. Right. I like, I think that's fair because

I've, I've, I've had trips, like when we went to Hawaii last fall, I didn't want to go home, so I was like, uh, we, we messed up the timing of this.

Whereas this one I'm like, okay, I can go now.

So I feel like it's run its course.

We ticked as many boxes as we could.

This is, I'm sure this is a dumb question 'cause obviously the answer is yes, but like, you guys had to get Ben a passport as a baby. Yes.

Tim. That's, that's

So, like, I know Hazel had a passport when she was like six, but it does feel like at some level we should just be like, all right, the baby's fine. Like, , do you

Wanna know?

It's, do you wanna know? It's stupid is, um, so we, I tried

to get him a passport before the IndyCar race in Toronto. And um,

It was like when he was three months old, two months old, Something like that.

And I paid for the expedited, like processing and whatever.

And long story short, we didn't arrive in time, but being as though Kelly's from there and her family's there, and a lot of them hadn't met Ben, it was important that he went.

So after doing some research, you can travel between the United States and Canada without a passport by land.

But if you boat, but not by plane, by boat, boat or plane, you cannot.

So we flew my plane to Niagara Falls.

rented a car, drove across the border that was like two miles away, and then drove to Toronto, um, and then drove back and flew outta Niagara, which is just ridiculous when you think about it.

The other thing was ridiculous.

I was wondering why you guys did that, because I remember that you, you did Yeah.

Have to like drive to Dagara. That was, yeah.

The other, the other thing that was stupid was, so we both have Nexus, right?

Mm-hmm . And so we went through the Nexus line

and the guy got super <inaudible> with me, um, and was like, well, does he have Nexus?

And I, I was like, no, he, he's eight weeks old .

He said, well, every, every member of the car has to have Nexus.

And I said, O okay. I di I honestly didn't know that.

I didn't know babies could get Nexus.

And he said, you know, it's, it's a really big rule that you should know.

And like, I could revoke your Nexus status because you came through here with a person that doesn't have Nexus.

And I'm like, I'm so sorry.

I like, I, I I didn't know that was a thing.

And he kind of changed his tone a little bit because I was very apologetic and I didn't know.

Yeah. I wasn't like trying to cheat the system.

And he, when he kind of changed his tone, I was like, all right, you guys can go, don't do it again, sort of thing.

I was like, all right, I have a stupid question.

I'm more than willing to go and fill out the application and everything.

But like, there's an interview that any Nexus applicant has to go to with like their job History and like, if they've ever been a part of a terrorist group and everything.

He's like, yeah, yes. To go to the interview.

And I was like, , okay, if you say so, so babies can get Nexus and they have to have an in-person interview with a border patrol agent.

I had two months old. I had, that's,

that's the dumbest thing I've heard.

I had a similar experience though, where we had to take Hazel to the emergency room when she was like six months old and she was fine and it was whatever.

Uh, but then if, like, they called to give me the results of what she had undergone.

And first of all, they messed up and they said, Hassel Ham.

I was like, um, think you of the wrong number.

They're like, no, no has Ham.

I was like, do you mean Hazel Durham, ?

And they're like, yeah. It's like, well,

did they told me you could, uh, no.

I, we should have, oh, uh, . Yeah.

Uh, and they told me they could only disclose the results to the patient.

And I was like, well, the patient's six months old, so I don't know , how you wanna like, convey that information to her, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna have to go through me like, uh, bureaucracy's fun.

Yeah, it is neat.

Um, okay.

Uh, we have, we have another draft episode.

We did the one where we did the, like whatever, 48 hours in the, in the bus lot.

Is this, is this, is this Mary kill?

Similar, except not at All. Interesting. Oh,

Okay.

Uh, , it's the zombie 500.

So the idea, okay, we're each going to draft in order specific roles for a zombie apocalypse, you have to pick a driver that was in IndyCar at the same time that you were in IndyCar.

So you can't like, go way back and pick Mario.

There's five different zombie movie archetypes that we're gonna go through, but I'm not gonna tell you what they are until it's your turn. So we're

Gonna, why zombie?

Because we're approaching Halloween.

Is that, is that where you're going? Sure. Okay. All right.

So the first one, remember, it's gotta be somebody that you drove with.

So like Reinhard Ray's fine, Mario's not.

Um, and it's gotta be a driver, the overconfident leader.

So this is your main guy, this is your Carl and, and the Walking Dead person who immediately assumes command, bark's orders and will probably get everybody killed by like the third episode.

But this is like the leader of the group.

I'm just gonna say for argument's sake, you can pick yourself if you think you would be the best leader of a zombie apocalypse clan, but, But, but ultimately not the best.

Yeah. I mean, they're gonna have some flaws, right?

But I, we, they we're loose with the rules.

If you wanna pick the best you could pick who you think would be the best me or who you think would be the most likely to step up and try to be that.

Me. Okay. Me. Do you think you'd be the best?

Probably not. Okay. ? .

I wouldn't be the, I I would be up there, but I'm sure there's someone that would be better.

Yeah. Okay. All right.

Um, I think, and, and I know we just said it was a good thing he's not here.

I think I'd go Hinch because I feel like he's got the charisma and he is, and he would, could kind of take charge. I feel like he, do you

Have to be good at dancing in order to survive his, I feel, I feel like he gotta like convince people to listen to you.

Right. . Like, you gotta be able

To, like, why?

You just demand that they listen to you.

Well, that would be part of convincing.

I would, I think I would pick you if you hadn't already picked yourself.

Sure. Sure. Okay.

All right. For round two,

we're gonna go a little different.

This is one of my favorite zombie archetypes. Okay? Mm-hmm .

Guy who gets bit but doesn't tell anyone he's been bitten.

Hmm. Now I feel like there's an obvious one.

There's a ucci, but I think we should try and get a little more creative with it.

Guy. The gets bit, but doesn't tell anyone. Connor.

Connor. Okay. That one's gonna be my second guess. Damnit.

That was who I was gonna take .

Now why do you think he doesn't tell anybody?

Like, does he think he'll, he'll get over it? I think he

Would be too concerned to get abandoned.

Okay. Okay. Or killed .

Um, man, I feel really bad picking this one, but I'm gonna go new garden.

Oh, I'm gonna say it would be Joseph just 'cause he wouldn't want to admit to a flaw.

Mm. Like, I think maybe he would think he could beat it

and he's just like, I'm, I don't have to worry about it.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a, that's a good,

because he has that, that gladiator warrior mentality.

Yeah. Self, self given,

um, tagline.

So I could see that. That's actually a good

shout. .

That's a good shout. I don't know if he'd appreciate it. ,

Whatever. It's not like he's gonna listen.

Um, yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. All right.

James and Joseph for Yu, while that's, that's pretty good. Okay. All

Right.

The person who's weirdly having a great time, , like the person who's just immediately acclimated to this world, has no qualms with killing zombies, is actually like, enjoying himself.

Stingray. Stingray. Okay. That one I did not expect.

Um, because I think, I think he would find peace in the situation because of his faith.

Okay. So he'd be like, whatever's meant

to happen is gonna happen and maybe he could, you know, fulfill some dream of killing zombies.

I don't know. I feel like, I feel like Stingray

in most situations.

Like, the reason I chose him is even when he's had a really bad weekend, right?

Yeah. He's very positive and upbeat

and thankful for the opportunity.

And so I feel like that's not an act and I feel like that's who he is as a person.

So I feel like he would carry that through the, the challenging times of zombies. .

Okay. I

I'm torn between two on this.

I think Scotty Mack or Patto, Not Patto.

Pat Patto be upset. You

Don't think Patto Pat would be very angry?

I just feel like there's some violence pent up in there that would come out for either of them. No. No. He's

Such a, he's such a pacif pacifist.

Okay. All right. Yeah. What do you think?

Be Scottie Mack though?

Yeah, I could, I could see that he's got, yeah, just I could see that.

Just, just golf club out, just . Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I can see it. I can see it.

Alright. Now this one's not in everything,

but it came up a few times. So I feel

Like, I feel like you've, you've won two and I've won one.

Oh, I didn't even think we were competing, but yeah, at the end of this we should see which group we think wins . Okay.

Okay. Um, all right.

This one's come up a few times in Walking Dead.

I don't think it came up in night of the Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead, but the, uh, like the engineer, the, the really smart person that's going to help build tools or help build the, the stuff that you're going to use.

Actually, no. I take that back and,

and Donna, the dead, the reboot where they're in the mall, they did have to like engineer the murder bus to get out.

So that, that guy, here's where, Here's where you <inaudible> up.

That's James. Okay.

Okay. You know what though? James is very resourceful.

Okay. I'm gonna go Dalton Kelt.

Yeah, Because I feel like, yeah, James is resourceful.

He's gonna be, but I mean, is he, is he crafty?

Is he doing stuff around his house like that?

Because like he's pretty craft crafty.

Dalton built the thing for his telescope to be able to like track the counter rotation of the earth and things like that.

Like I think, I think Dalton is book very book smart.

Um, and, but I would also imagine that Dalton had a lot of resources in order to do that via the internet or magazines or whatever.

Whereas James can solve a problem with nothing.

He can just piece it Together.

Alright. Now, I also, I wanna be clear here.

Uh, not only do I think that I would die really early in a zombie apocalypse.

Mm. Like I would be the, the intro montage

that they show the, the apocalypse taken over there.

Mm-hmm . I also think as a zombie, I'm not gonna make it

that long either, right?

Like, I think I'm gonna be one of the first zombies to also die.

Like one of the zombies where they accidentally hit its head and they're like, oh, you have to get the brain.

Like I'm that zombie as well. Sure.

So I think I die twice before most people die the first time. What's

Weird is like, why isn't, why isn't the brain the first thing people are going for in the first place?

Yeah. What, what wouldn't that kill ?

Like destroy the head of the brain. I'm saying.

Oh, like every living thing. . Yeah.

Yeah. That's,

It's very strange.

Okay. Uh, okay, so you picked James, which I think you win

that one, but I I think don't. Could be two. Two.

Okay. Two, two going into the final round

And now we get the wild card.

This, this could be the guy who's gonna save your team or completely <inaudible> your team over.

Mm. This is, and and you got no way of knowing beforehand.

Mm.

Joseph. Joseph .

Okay. Okay. Uh, Elio

don't, he ain't saving <inaudible>.

I don't, I dunno. I Not like he's not saving anything.

He, he could so much enthusiasm.

He's running so far in the different direction, opposite direction.

He's throwing, what's Joseph doing? He's, oh, Joseph.

Joseph will want to be like, again the gladiator type.

Right. And then he'll realize

that he can't do it all himself.

And then it's like, well, it's last man standing and I have no friends.

It's, do you think, do you think Elio speech one for, for themselves, You don't think Elio would use some of that like enthusiasm that he has to be like, we could get through this.

Like still wearing a fire suit. You think he just runs

To the Hills? No. Oh

Yeah.

Wow. Exactly. Wow. That's,

that's not the read I have on, uh, on Elio.

'cause Yeah, I mean, anybody who's brave enough to not only their own fire suit, but then tell that story on our mics.

I, I think has some, some bravery in there.

I mean, everyone poops Not in their fire suit. I hope.

Be surprised. I mean, you, is

that why you got the darker fire suit this year?

No. . All right.

Now let's, let's go back over who's your, who's your full group?

It's, it's you. Connor gets bit

and doesn't tell anybody. It's, it's

Me, Connor Stingray, James Stingray, James Joseph. Man,

I want, do you think you guys full American?

Do, do you think you guys make it?

No. No.

Is it, what's what's the downfall there? What's

The downfall?

I probably get killed, but I make it a ways, like I'm, I'm the, I'm the point of the movie or the TV show where like they get, I get killed off and the audience thinks, oh, this is gonna be a sad ending.

And then there's some hero that saves it because I was gonna be that guy and then I don't make it.

So that's me. Like I'm the, I'm the, I'm the last

of the beginning to get killed, If that makes sense.

Okay. Alright. Um, do you outlast Connor with his of course.

Or not? Tell anybody of Okay.

You outlast Connor . Um,

I think I would say, I would say James and Joseph are the last two standing.

Um, for different reasons.

James, because he'll probably get pretty good at hiding and Joseph because he'll be pretty good at surviving .

Okay. All right.

A little weird, I think that you didn't go with Ed. Hmm.

Which, like you guys for which one? Playing together?

For which one? For any of them. I know,

Um, Like maybe the science the way out of it. I think Ed could be

No, he once got confused between leaders and gallons. .

Okay. All right. Fair enough. . .

And I guess like, you don't need both owners of the plane.

, you just need to get to the plane first.

, it's kinda like, uh, I, I had a, a scuba diving instructor.

Tell me, you don't need to outs swim the shark. Yeah.

You just need to outs swim The other divers. . Yeah.

Yeah. That's true. That is true.

I don't know. Okay. I think your group,

I do think your group probably beats mine.

Oh, for sure. And I don't for sure.

I don't love that. Yeah.

I also like, I don't know, you Have James, Joseph, Elio and Dalton.

Yeah. Yeah.

When you, when you say it all together like that, all factually in an order, it's, uh, doesn't smell fucking great. ,

do you have a favorite zombie movie?

Yeah. What's the Will Smith one? Like the,

Oh, well technically that's a vampire movie. I am legend.

That's vampires. Yeah.

Is it? They can't come out during the day.

All right, well then World War Z.

Okay. World War Z is a good one. What?

Have you ever seen Sean of the Dead though?

Yeah, but it's stupid. I think that one might be mine.

Yeah. Well that makes sense. All right.

Yeah. Well, uh, glad We Got Back. Favorite movies

Also Casablanca.

Yeah, it's a perfect movie. Okay.

It's not there. There should be a sequel with Zombies.

Casablanca's a perfect movie. the sequel in my head.

The sequel would already be a beautiful friendship.

It would be about Captain Renault and them going through the African Desert and joining the Resistance.

It's a perfect movie. Uh, alright.

, well have fun in England. Did Ben get to see Big Ben yet?

Big Ben. Met Little Ben. Yeah.

There you go. All right, well, uh,

see you Thursday when we'll recap Nashville.

Can't wait, bro. , This has been off

track with Hinch and Rossi.

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