Term
OBD2 system
OBD2 is the car’s built-in self-check system. When something is wrong, it can save a code that a scanner can read, which helps you figure out what part or system to inspect.
Term
air conditioner
They’re talking about the car’s A/C. If it starts freezing over, it often means the system isn’t circulating refrigerant correctly, so it can’t cool the cabin anymore.
Term
low cycle switch
The low cycle switch is a sensor/switch that helps the car’s A/C decide when it’s safe to run. If it’s cracked or not reading correctly, the A/C can stop working or behave strangely.
Place
Corsican
Corsican is a place they passed through on the trip. They’re using it to explain where the A/C problem got bad enough that they had to find help.
Term
freon
Freon is the refrigerant fluid inside the A/C system. If it leaks out, the A/C can’t cool properly and may start freezing over.
Place
DFW
DFW is the Dallas–Fort Worth area in Texas. They’re just saying how far they were from that region when the A/C stopped working.
Car
Dodge Charger
The Dodge Charger is a car made for performance, with a big, powerful style. People often talk about fixing or upgrading parts on it because it’s a popular car to work on. In this episode, it sounds like they’re dealing with a problem and trying to get the car working properly again.
Term
TSB
A TSB is like a manufacturer’s “known issue” memo for mechanics. It tells shops what to check and how to fix a problem that keeps coming up.
Term
limp mode
Limp mode is what a car does when it senses something wrong. It “turns down” how it runs so you can keep driving carefully to get it fixed.
Term
purge valve
The purge valve is part of the car’s emissions system that moves fuel vapors from a charcoal canister into the engine. If it’s not working right, the engine can run rough or throw codes.
Term
random misfire code
A misfire code means the engine isn’t burning fuel in one of the cylinders the way it should. If it’s “random,” it may be an on-and-off problem that’s harder to catch.
Term
coil packs
Coil packs are part of the ignition system. They create the spark that lights the fuel in the engine. If one is loose or going bad, the engine may run poorly or act up when it gets hot.
Term
cool down
“Cool down” means waiting for the engine to get less hot. Some car problems only happen after the engine heats up, so letting it sit can make it run normally again for a while.
Term
103, 104 degrees
That’s how hot it is outside. When it’s extremely hot, some car problems show up more easily because heat affects how parts work.
Term
fuel
Fuel is the gas the engine uses to run. When someone refuels during a problem, it can be a quick way to make sure they’re not dealing with an empty/low-fuel situation while they figure out what’s wrong.
Term
Route 66
Route 66 is a legendary U.S. road-trip route. People travel it for the classic roadside vibe and all the quirky attractions along the way.
Car
Chevrolet Avalanche
The Chevrolet Avalanche is a type of pickup truck. It’s meant to carry things like a truck, but it’s also built to be comfortable for regular driving. In the episode, it’s mentioned as part of a phrase or story.
Car
Beetle Volkswagen Bugs
The Beetle is a small car with a very recognizable rounded shape. It’s known for being popular and for lasting a long time, which is why you might see many of them together. In this episode, it sounds like they’re describing a field full of Beetles in different conditions.
Term
patina
Patina is the “old and lived-in” look a car gets as it ages. Some people like it because it shows the car’s history, even if it’s not perfect.
Term
diesel
Diesel is a type of engine fuel system. It’s common in trucks, and it works differently than gasoline engines.
Term
engine ticked
“Engine ticked” means the engine was making a small clicking/ticking noise. Sometimes that happens when parts are hot, or when something inside the engine isn’t as smooth as it should be.
Car
1959 Ford custom 300
This is a 1959 Ford Custom 300, a classic American car from the late 1950s. The description makes it sound like a hidden or stored car under a tarp, like something someone has been keeping for a while.
Term
jump box
A jump box is a portable battery pack you use to start a car when the battery is dead. You connect it to the car’s battery and it gives the engine enough power to crank.
Term
choke
The choke helps a carbureted engine start when it’s cold. It makes the fuel mixture richer (more fuel) so the engine can catch and run.
Term
430 cubic inch MEL big block
“430 cubic inch” means the engine is very large, measured by how much space the cylinders displace. A “big block” is a classic style of big V8 engine that’s usually built for low-end pulling power.
Car
Thunderbird
The Ford Thunderbird is a classic Ford model. Here it’s mentioned as the wrecked car that the engine was taken from.
Term
Cruisomatic
“Cruisomatic” refers to an older automatic transmission. It means the car shifts gears for you instead of using a manual gearbox.
Term
muffler
Mufflers are parts in the exhaust system that make the car quieter. Changing mufflers can also change how the car sounds when you rev it.
Term
higher RPM
RPMs tell you how fast the engine is spinning. “Higher RPMs” means the driver is revving the engine more.
Brand
Michelin's
Michelin makes tires. Mentioning “Michelin’s” is basically saying the car is running Michelin tires, which can affect how well it grips the road.
Term
blown coolant hose
Coolant hoses move the engine’s cooling fluid around the car. If one “blows,” it can leak coolant and the engine can overheat if you don’t fix it soon.
Term
rebuild the transmission
The transmission is what helps the engine’s power get to the wheels. Rebuilding it usually means taking it apart and fixing or replacing the parts inside so the car shifts correctly again.
LIVE
Rusted old memories buried in dust
Through the wreckage of dreams
I'm trying to trust each faded sign
Whisked stories of old, of laughter
And heartache of love that grew cold
Are you really digging for peace
Or is that just a lie
Tell to help you sleep
Sure that you really want
Truth behind all the stories they go
Oh, welcome to the wrecking yard
I'm Jerry Wayne Longman
Y'all, presumably still y'all
All are welcome here in the church of internal combustion
We just asked to show up with an open heart
Sorry, a little housekeeping to do there
Woo, Lord have mercy
Dirty hands and complicated hearts
Is what we seek
Lord knows I'm good at finding them
Ha ha ha
Before we get too deep off in my nonsense
Let's get a big shout out to the world
About Lost Sprint Car Series
Who are descending down upon the Bats Motor Speedway
July 29th, wreaking a little dirt-tracked havoc
And doing a little gladiating for the fans
Yours truly will be attending the cleanest show on dirt
For a night of mayhem and open-wield missiles
I'd love to see you there
If you're in there, get your discount on tickets
To the event by using the code WooJerry
And that's W-O-O-J-E-R-R-Y
Oh, also, also, you know
If you're a heavily maimed fella like myself
Don't forget to check out our sponsor Outlaw Gents
Men's Grooming Products
We have a big surprise to unveil over there pretty soon
But for now, you can get a discount on the only
Diamond Gym certified moms, butters, and oils on the planet
By using discount code JWBEARD at checkout
That's OutlawsandGents.com
And that code, again, JWBEARD
And that's just spelled JWBEARD
Yeah
This is getting to y'all late
And I ain't got no big excuse for you
I was just exhausted
I got off the road yesterday and did two shows here at home
Didn't get to bed about three or four o'clock in the morning
And still had a bunch of writing to do
There is a new Diwali Bottoms episode
I just got to read it off my phone because my printer's out of ink
But I still had to finish up that Diwali Bottoms episode
I had a lot of stuff to do today
And I'm leaving, what's the day? Sunday
I'm leaving Tuesday to go to Pennsylvania
And then I'll be on the road with shows all the way till Sunday
So next week's episode will probably air on Monday, most likely
Because I'm not going to get back from Louisville until Monday morning sometime
But if you're in the areas
My tickets aren't selling real well in Cleveland, Ohio
So if you're near the Cleveland, Ohio area
Oh, I should appreciate you coming out to that show
We could use some more asses in the seats over there at the tree lawn
Cincinnati's doing okay, but we still got seats left at the Woodward Theater in Cincinnati
And where the hell else am I?
Pittsburgh Improv, it's selling real well
But I'd love to see even more of you at the Pittsburgh Improv
And so it goes Pittsburgh, Cleveland, that's the tree lawn
Cincinnati at the Woodward Theater
And then on Sunday we're going to close out the week at the Louisville Comedy Club
Louisville, Kentucky, one of my favorite cities to venture out into and spend a day in
Now I'm flying to Pennsylvania, I'm renting a car in Harrisburg
And driving out to the Speedway to do the races with the World Outlaws
And I'll be driving to Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Louisville
And then flying out of a Muhammad Ali SDF airport right there in Louisville
And that's one of the airports I really like
I've always had a good experience at that airport
And it's small, but it's not so small
You don't have some options for some entertainment or some food or whatever before you fly
And it's got comfortable chairs
And I always meet the nicest people in that airport
I just always have a great, that's like one of my favorite places to fly out of
So I'll be, I'm glad that's how I'm flying home
Alrighty, woo, it's a little warm in here
A little close to 90, but it is dropping
And the sun's going, starting to go down
How do you know what time it is?
I literally just got finished writing and ran out here with my camera
So I can get this done for you guys and I'm going to get it all uploaded tonight
So I know a lot of you guys like to listen to this on Monday morning
So I'm trying to make sure I have the audio up for you guys so you can listen to it on Monday morning
So, I apologize for my tardiness
It doesn't mean I don't love y'all, they just run in the big dog kind of hard right now
And it's okay, it's good, I'm going to tell y'all about it
It's been a damn good week
It started out come last Tuesday
I loaded up with what I thought was a repaired avalanche
And I'm going to tell y'all about the evolution of the avalanche's problem along this trip
And while you're listening to it in the live chat, I want you to try to guess right now what you think the problem is
I want you to listen to all the symptoms
I think I've got it nailed down now, but I've said that before
But, you know, that's just kind of the fun of a vehicle like this
You know, it ain't all fun, but there is something a little something to the mystery
I enjoy working on things with OBD2 system
Because I can at least understand how to diagnose it and how to chase down problems
But I headed out for Tulsa about six o'clock in the AM
Right away, I noticed that my air conditioner is still freezing over every once in a while
Well, not only that, so I changed the low cycle switch in that damn air conditioner
And it worked fine for two days, I didn't know it was leaking, I didn't seal it good
I got what it was, I got a bad low cycle switch that was cracked, or I cracked
Probably I cracked it, putting it on, over tightening it
I had kind of a booger getting it on
Regardless, it had leaked out all the freon by the time I got to Corsican
And I didn't have no cold air no more, and that was a pretty hot day
It was like 104 degrees that day when I was getting close to DFW
It got real daggum hot
And so I run off, and Corsican found me a little Napa store and I bought me another low cycle switch
And a big old heavy duty charger freon
So I can get this thing cycled back up
And met a lovely shop cat
He was a good dude, liked him, he checked me out, we had a good time
And changed that 750 right there in the park, a lot charged it up
Air conditioner was fine the rest of the trip
It still wants to freeze over every once in a while
So I know there's another thing called the TSB or the TSXB, I looked it all up
But what I'm going to do with that, I'm going to take it over my buddy, Mr. Brady
Over here, Brady Kimbrough
I'm going to take it over my buddy, Brady Kimbrough, he's always done me right on AC stuff
And he took care of the Cadillac for me one time
He's one of the few mechanics I just really like, I really trust a guy
And I think I'm going to drop it off with him while I'm gone for the week so he can futz about with it
See if he can figure out, I think maybe that other little bout
I can't remember what it's called, TSVX, some kind of bullshit like that
Anyways, fine, get back in the truck, heading on to Tulsa, making good time too
Good time, get about Oklahoma line and truck throws itself in the limp mode
Missing, won't got no power
Pull it off the side of the road
It just sit there and out of like, but not throwing no codes
Not throwing no codes that time, it's a damn, damn, damn
I shut it off, popped hood, went up there, I cleaned out all that purge valve and everything
Missing with that and checked that purge valve, make sure everything's okay with that
Come over here, got back in the truck, tanked it up after about five minutes
It started right up, run fine, boy, what the hell
Got back on the road, about another hour and a half down, maybe 45 minutes an hour down the road
Back in the limp mode, damn, damn, that time it throws a random misfire code
It's all right, I'd jack around with it, it
Get out there and hook everything, try to check the battery, just check everything
You know what I mean, try to figure out what's going on
Check all the coil packs, make sure everything's tight, all the connections in
Takes you about five to ten minutes
Get done, walk around there, truck fires right up, run good
Another hour down the road, does it again, I'm real close to the gas station
I'm about half tanked down and I said, you know, I'll just go ahead and let this thing cool down
Maybe it's just the heat outside, something's happening to it
There's about 103, 104 degrees
So maybe this is what's causing my problem
And I will go down here and see
I'll go ahead and fill it up with fuel, take me to a bathroom break, give me cold water
I had packed some sandwiches for them, maybe eat one of my sandwiches, have a little lunch
Do all that, I left the hood up the whole time, trying to let everything cool down
It drives the rest of the way, I get almost to the hotel in Tulsa, pull in the parking lot in the hotel in Tulsa
And it does it again, and I just shut it down and let it sit when I got checked in my room
I have about an hour or so to kind of cool off in the room and take a shower, get ready for the show
Of course got all the anxiety about, you know, ticket sales and all that kind of shit
And do some marketing stuff and get the show
We got like 66, 67 sold on Tuesday night, which I'm real damn happy with
And everybody else can be very in degrees of happy with, but to me that was a feat
Okay, easy get 66 people come out and spend money on Tuesday night
It was a great show
I worked with some really great comics
The lady that was doing the middle spot for it
I'm just from like following her and reading about her, she's a headliner in her own right
And I'd heard her name before, turns out she's friends with my buddy Chris Shaw
Her name's Julie Drake, fantastic comic, did a killer job
The guy they had host doing his comic out of Arkansas named Chris Misca
And he did a fantastic job too, and I enjoyed talking, his dad's like an old sprint car racer and everything
So we had a lot in common
On top of this, so this is my first time working for the Bark chain of clubs
And it's a whole chain of clubs, it's Oklahoma, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Fort Wayne, Summit Comedy of Fort Wayne
Skyline and Appleton, Louisville Comedy Club, Tacoma Comedy Club, Spokane Comedy Club
And there's some others I'm forgetting, Springfield Comedy Club
And maybe one in Wichita too, I'm not 100% sure
The way these guys are doing it, they really treat a comic like they're somebody special
And I don't mean just a headliner, they treat the features good, they treat the openers well
Their green rooms are really nice, they got candy bars and crap in there for whatever, you know, snacks, all that stuff
The security is very attentive to you, like looking out for you
It's just a good vibe
And a damn good crowd of people we had in there, that was a fun show, fun show
We knocked that out, we did a big meet and greet, I got to meet a lot of long time Wrecking Yard fans, which was really cool
And take pictures folks and sell some stickers
And moseyed my way on back to hotel, Alvin Lance runs fine at night when it ain't getting hot, you know
Fine at night, running like a spotted ape, go back to hotel
And now I had a plan this tour because, one, I didn't get much time at home with Rachel before I had to bail out again
And two, I know I can get in a dark place if I'm not taking care of myself
So I made sure the very next morning, you know, I had one drink at the club, went back to hotel
I had some dinner, very next morning, up at the gym
Just first thing in the morning, boom, go off to the gym, get a good workout in
Go back to hotel, shower, get a little breakfast, well I did breakfast before I went to the gym, if that don't matter
And that already had me feeling good, you know, about the day, especially after that 7, 8 hour drive the day before, you know
Decided to go over, so this is kind of my thing I like to do when I go to Tulsa Memorial Park Cemetery in Tulsa is like an anthology of music and entertainment history
There's just so many great people that are, that were buried there
There's so many great people that come out of the Tulsa scene. Tulsa is like one of the coolest, most interesting towns in the country, really
I mean, if you go read Way Back in Tulsa, that's where Black Wall Street happened
There's a lot of interesting, and the music scene in Tulsa has always been, has always turned out some really, you know, David Gates and Brett and Leon Russell and Roy Clark
And then on the comedy side, I think, you know, Sam Kinnison's buried there, he's not from there, but towards people were living and the radio DJ that portrayed Roy D. Mercer is buried there
Like there's just, I think maybe JJ Kale, there's just, that cemetery is just chock full of music and entertainment history
So what I do is every time I go there, I go find a different person that I was interested in or there are defected in my life
And I do a little video at the grave side or whatever, you'll probably, a lot of y'all saw the one I did for Jerry Clara when I was in Mississippi
And I'd done one year or so ago for Sam Kinnison, last time I was in Tulsa
And so this time I went looking for Leon Russell's, where they laid Leon Russell to rest
And it's beautiful, it's beautiful grave marker, everything, it's really nice scene, it's by a little lake
And I wanted to record a video there, but there was a dude we'd eaten and I've never witnessed, he was a white guy, I don't know if that matters
But I've never witnessed somebody work so hard to do so little in my life
This poor guy was struggling, we'd eaten around this lake like nobody ever seen in my life
And meanwhile down the street, the rest of the hands were just going street by ramb ramb ramb
And this poor guy was just, he was struggling with his weedy, I don't know if he was first day or if he's somebody's nephew
But weed eating is not a skill set
And finally I just said, hell that recorded my little video while I was weed eating, you know, it ain't his job to worry about what the hell I'm doing
I did try to wait him out if you saw the video, I did try to wait him out, but then at some point I was like, bro, I'm going to be here at 4 o'clock
Waiting this guy weed eat around this little patch of grass right here
Headed off of Oklahoma City
I decided to stay off the freeway because the truck was acting up when it starts doing that at high speed, you're in the left lane or something
It's kind of tricky to get over, you know
So this man, I just cruised to Oklahoma City
And so I took out on Route 66 and I just took Route 66 as far as I could until I got over 35 and then took 35 restway in Oklahoma City
But I was just bee bopping down Route 66 and
Of course, you know, everybody builds anything on Route 66 and make a big deal about that
So there's a lot of tourist traps and a lot of fun stuff like that to look at
I was just outside of some town, I think it's called Axolotl or I-X-O-L or Exototl or so
I don't remember the name of the town, it's got an X in the L in it
Come over this hill
Right before that, about a mile before that, this old boy pulled out in front of me in a steak bed truck
And by the grace of God, therefore go I that me and that avalanche didn't go right through the side of that steak bed truck
Because I was running a cool 65 when I come over to top of that hill and he was cockeyed in the street
And I still don't know how I got around him
And I really thought I was going to flip that thing just like
Then I got straightened out and was bee bopping down the road
Got on the phone with Rachel, was talking to Rachel over the stereo and
Curved this hill and she said something like I was having and I was going
I couldn't even talk, talk
Almost had another wreck because I come over this hill and lo and behold to the right of me
Ain't nothing but just a sea of Volkswagen bugs in a field in various forms of patina and disrepair and falling apart in this
Just a sea of Volkswagen bugs even even a little top four square back in there, you know, a little notch back and then just
It was just beautiful, right? I was like, babe, I gotta get a phone. I gotta get out and get a picture of this
And I slam on brakes turn around
Go back up turn around was real tall grass. I was worried about snakes
And but I won't go out there and get a picture of me with them bugs and
Well, I was walking out there for like a minute. I rode about a little bit
I was walking out there for a minute and the wind was blowing just right and it was blowing through my beard was like going sideways
I don't they just felt you could hear the wind and that tall grass just
And I was
Looking all them Volkswagen's I was just feeling so good in my heart like they're just one of my favorite things to see and I was just
Look at this right here. Just this is just a natural little little Volkswagen heaven
And then I had the creepy thought for just a minute like what if this like one of those movies?
What if you run into that steak bed truck back there and
You're dying in the street and this is just the closest heaven the Lord could punch you towards, you know
And the more I thought about more creep me out. I was like, I gotta get on down a road make sure this is real, you know
It was real turd out. I got Oklahoma City
Truck act that went in limp mode one time on 35 and then it didn't do it again
Got an Oklahoma City and got there early enough
I said man, I had a bunch of marketing work to do on the phone stuff posting stories and invites the shows and pushing tickets and all that kind of stuff
I said boy, you know that phone waterproof
I could just go down there and get in the swimming pool and do that from the swimming pool and be cooled off
So I went there and got in the pool was doing my work. I had a somebody brought me a little bait pin real strong one
Diesel something or other boy turn your head sideways if you suck on too hard
And I took me a big old draw of that and I went down that pool. I was just feeling like it was just nice vibe
Sitting there working
Then this family showed up with like five kids and ruined the vibe
I was trying to be like, you know, they're just on vacation. They're trying to have a good time
So I wouldn't get irritated or whatever
But they just got real loud in there real quick and you know, it was an indoor pool
So they echo real bad and I was like, okay, I can't think enough to work in this anymore
So jumped out went upstairs finish that stuff. I've got a shower went show that show again
We got 70 80 people hell of a damn show work with some great comics
Do name JJ that I already worked with in Austin one time with my buddy Sam Miller. So I already knew him. I liked him a lot
And the feature act Shauna Blake. She was really funny. I got a kick out of her and they were just cool to work with once again
The great treatment great treatment beating a decent club where you're treated like you're a commodity and not just something that they're trying to make money off of, you know
And great experience leave their back to hotel same thing just want to I'm tired because I went to the gym so I'm gonna sleep good
Eat one of my little sandwiches out bro
Sleep like a dream get up next day got to make that trip to
Was going over to Richardson, Texas. My buddy Shane owns outlaw outlaws gents grooming
He has a bunch of barbershop franchises. I was going over one of his friends barbershops and go try out a new barber living
Trim my stuff and stuff was getting a little out of him
It's like three hours right Oklahoma City. Then it should be about an hour over to where my hotel is with the comedy club and Fort Worth
Hyenas
Whoo
Yeah, I'm tell you boy. It was a grind. I have found this little place on the map down there called Turner Falls
And I thought it was just gonna be a waterfall I could drive out and look at but then I got out there
It was like a theme park so I didn't stick around because there's like a thousand people out there and it was loud
Wasn't really my scene. I just want to see the damn waterfall and it's like kind of wild like
Not to like be religious whatever but like it's kind of wild charge people admission see something somebody else built
You know, I mean like y'all to build that waterfall somebody else built that waterfall
That's either here nor there and that's a big old debate you can get into about property ownership and yada yada yada
Yes, I do believe if you buy property our has some rights on that could charge the people to come on to it course it does
But it just made me feel kind of weird
We
Go get my haircut. It's a good experience. I filmed some stuff with that guy
Mr. Julian at diesel barbershop Richardson, Texas. Look at my beard. This is like three days later. My beard looks amazing
He did a really good job. He did a pretty good job my hair too. He's no ash, but he's pretty good
And I recommend if you're in there you go see
When
From there to the hotel and downtown Fort Worth the holiday in
Express in Fort Worth took me about three hours because it was in the heat of the day and the traffic was backed up
And that avalanche craft out on me about 57 times on the way over there
Every time pull over let it cool off go
But the problem is you get back traffic you go two miles and damn things doing it again and get pulled off and
It was a harrowing experience and I am not gonna lie to y'all and tell y'all I didn't do a whole bunch of cussing and hollering
And threat the beat the shit out of that avalanche a couple times
Whole time and research are trying to figure out what the hell's going on this thing and I think I got my I think I'm only right
There's a couple things triggered me make me think I got it nailed down
Fort Worth hotel is less than desirable sometimes these
Holiday Inn Express is already give up tear down the building and try again this building is a really old-ass building
The shower was coming apart everything in that hotel was gross the pool
Doors didn't work there were no towels and it was just
It was just run down the thing I'll say about the hotel is the staff there were wonderful staff of some nice people ever dealt with
Ever they were wonderful and so you just kind of had to take it as what it was
Hyenas
Did not disappoint they turned out to be last time I was at hyenas they have a smaller room called the red room and I sold that out
This time I was in the big room and while it wasn't sold out there wasn't a whole lot left
We did good we had a mess of people at that hyena show we had a full room
And that shows I worked with a guy named head that used to work with the Dallas stars and funny guy
Really easy to get along with like shit of him
The guy running the showroom and everything of course he's great Eric's great
And I knew Nate from the past that used to be the manager of Dallas now he's over all the hyenas and he's a really good dude too
So it's just just a good experience
Like you know what I mean they take care of you and then you go in there and you just you're in front of this turnkey crowd ready to go
And we had a good time there. I had a good time with that crowd. That was probably my favorite show of the week
Yeah, I love that club anyways
It's per the hyenas guy Randy Butler knows how to set up a club right low ceiling. It's just it's everything
Right and say the bark people got it figured out to low ceilings feels intimate
Hell of a good time with that Fort Worth crowd. Hell of a good time
Man so many people showed up in that show people I knew
I may be doing a podcast pretty soon one of the guys big Mike who does a bunch stuff a pole barn garage
Man Chris Parker showed up my show Chris Parker is the dad of the young man that bought the Mazda from me
I told y'all a story about when I sold the Bob's and like it changed the way I look at selling cars because these people know me now
And they knew who I was then and then Chris Parker bought his best friend out they come out and see my show
And Fort Worth they told me an effed up story. It pissed me off not him, but he got scammed by a reseller
If you're ever gonna buy tickets of my show, please make sure you go to my link tree
I put all the actual verified ticket links there
My tickets are usually $20 to $25 if anybody's charging you more than that for a general admission ticket there
Please let me know because unless it's like a special event or something there. That's what they run
Okay, he paid $142 for two tickets and that really upsets me to get scammers out there got over on that old man
But I gave him pretty good deal in the Mazda so I don't feel too bad about it
Good show incredible show my favorite show of the week probably just if I felt like a live wire on that stage
I have this thing happen me and I talked about it on Facebook sometime
I have this thing happen me every once while
And I've talked to y'all about it where I let my anxiety get the best me and things are going too good this tour is going good
I'm having good numbers all the way through the week is going too good and I'm always waiting for that other shoe to drop
You know, I guess like the other shoe could have been the avalanche, but I wasn't thinking about that way
I was just like all my trucks got problems. I'm gonna figure it out. Right. I'm just very pragmatic that way
But in that other way, I just waiting for the shoe everything's going too good
Everything's going too good
I
Do most of my writing everything on my phone. I know it's all night my phone's not charging right so I get back hotel room
Of course or something wrong my phone. It's not charging. I spent an hour or so
I'm eating figuring out how to fix that and if I get that fixed and the phone charging
And Rachel had a friend visiting our friend Marcia was here visiting the house. They were doing some stuff
I said, I'm just gonna go to bed babe so I can get up hit the gym anymore
Before I go to Walnut Springs. All right. All right, so
I was laying there watching TV. They got these really shitty pillows
First off, let me tell you the Fort Smith story. I'm sure I've told it to you but I'll tell it to you
One night in Fort Smith, Arkansas. I have one of the best shows in my life. I've got a standing ovation
Now I went back to my hotel room and anxiety krypton and I started deciding my stomach had been upset earlier in the day
I'd taken Pepto Bisma. I went back to hotel room
Had to go to the bathroom and it was black. What come out of me was black and it freaked me out and then my anxiety got to better me
And I went down there on the hotel computer. That's how long ago this was back like 2006 and
Got on the web MD and spent about four pages and three hours convincing myself I was dying of stage four
Stomach cancer because I was pooping black and like 35 pages into this article
I'm reading about all this after I have convinced myself. It's time to call people
There's a little little sentence on one thing's like hey, also if you take Pepto Bisma, I could do that to you
Like you son the fifties, right? But I have myself all worked out like I've done this myself for I'm just trying to establish just a pattern
And I recognize it
Go to bed
For work watching TV. They got these shitty shitty squishy pillows
I don't like I like a little support behind my head and so I piled a bunch of them up in a kind of a weird way trying to get some support
Didn't feel like the room was cooling real well, but I couldn't really tell I just thought maybe I was overheated a little bit
Go to sleep wake up
About one o'clock in the morning 130 sweating buckets
The whole right side of my face and my neck is numb
Get my phone
What does this indicate? Well, this indicates a stroke
So I read myself good five or six pages deciding that I'm having a stroke and wondering if I need to call right wake Rachel up
Either a stroke or bells palsy which happened my friend Sean Mathenia and I'm wondering if I need to wake Rachel up or you know
What the hell I need to do, you know if I need to call ambulance
I'm having stroke finally after many many pages reading about strokes then somebody's like hey
You should get up stand on one leg then stand on the other leg with your toes your fingers all that stuff
So I was like, all right, well let me try that and so I get up out of bed and I start doing all that
And lo and behold all the feeling comes back in my neck in my face and it turns out I was just sleeping
Cock-eyed the way I had them pillows set and cuz I could feel it then after the feeling came back
I had like a real sharp kink in my neck
I was like me you just freaked yourself out, bro
I was up for like three hours of this freak myself out then I realized that the air conditioner has broken
And it is spraying mist into the room like over me and all my shit
So I already had all my clothes packed to leave so because I like just packed the night before so I can get up and buggy
So I put everything in the bathroom shut the door
Ripped all the shit off the bed just laid on the bed did my best sleep, you know and got up
I don't know nine or something slept maybe two or three hours
Got up screw this let's get the hell out of here
Take a shower in the grossest shower I've ever been in my life that it feels like it's gonna fall through the floor
And there's so much milk it's gross
Take a shower in this shower get dressed go find my gym
My family a plant fitness on the way out of Fort Worth on the way
Walnut Springs
Now this whole time I'm having to learn how to adjust to this new pace of traveling so usually when I was traveling
I was doing one or two travel gigs a month
And now I'm doing five of them a week and it's just I'm having to adjust to the new pace figure out how I'm gonna make content
How I'm gonna do stuff how I'm gonna keep up with stuff and spend a lot of time in the car every day
So I'm not getting a lot done
I get to the gym turns out the gym I picked they're like rebuilding so no about half the stuff in the gym is
Not you can't use it so go in there and get me a quick workout in can't use them side stuff any of that stuff
So screw it get in the truck head down to Walnut Springs
John Clay Wolves people are wonderful. They get me set up in the saloon room down there film some promo
I go out the studio hang out Bobo and crew and work on some jokes and stuff for the show because
We didn't we didn't have good attendance so about last two times I went to Walnut Springs we damn near sold out and this time we had maybe
30 people and a one drunk group in the middle that just were they were just kind of a mess and
Wasn't my favorite show of the week
But you know you do what you can when you're in those situations the acoustics in there aren't great
But mostly you know is what it is. It was the one off show we put together. Sorry sweating buckets over here
One off show we put together
And
I'm gonna get up at five o'clock in the morning and
But still I got my
One of my people Lynette and her husband come out Travis they come out. They were great met an old dude named Bandy's pretty cool
Aaron post come out. We had some good people come out that show, you know the people that showed up matter
So it was good. I ain't complaining about the show
It just wasn't my favorite because the acoustics in there a little rough
It's I can hear my jokes echoing off the back wall before I can hear anybody laugh
Get up five o'clock in the a.m
Go over do the JCW show I step in for some of y'all listen you heard I
Step in took over the radio show for two hours in the morning for John Clay Wolf I he's out in Los Angeles
Had a good time with those guys got on the road headed home
And it was it was only about 86 degrees and the avalanche did fine
Get about 40 miles from the house
and
Temperature jumped up about 99 degrees and avalanche starts giving me fits and it fights me that last 40 minutes
I had to pull over about three times and cool it off before I got made it back to the house
And it was acting up when I got to the house
Well there went in there a hung out Rach Marsha for a little bit took a quick nap then we went did two shows
at the Hopscaller ale house
for the doctor that helped to save a failure and
Makes money for him and all the stuff. He's doing really good dude
And those shows are
The first show was good it was hot in there, so they were a little tight the second show I
Was so mad at that crowd
They were tight that second show was tight, bro
Oh, I don't know if it was me or them. I'll take responsibility for it
But I think once again, it was just really we had more bodies and those both those shows were pretty much sold out
And we had a lot of bodies in a small space and it was hot there. I was cooking on stage
So it was okay. We have good time, you know
Come home exhausted Rachel got to go with me to that show so it's nice
But came home exhausted we had a couple drinks and then
Got up late this a
slipped in this morning and
It dawned on me. I'm flying out Tuesday, and I got to get my phone fixed
I'm trying to set my Apple appointment in the morning. I'm trying to take care of everything
I need to take care of them next two days to be gone for another week, and it's a lot to figure out
Okay, I'm just not used to it. It's a but it's not a bad thing. This is an opportunity, you know, but it's it's still a lot
It's a lot. I got the races. I got I got a multimedia feature events going on this week
So it's it's gonna be a lot
And
I was sitting there thinking about it all and I was just remembering and I told you guys about about a year ago or so
I was all worked up about
My carnish stuff and
Truck astrology all that kind of stuff what what I should be doing and you know
What I should be focusing on if I should be doing more this that and which you know
These plates I need to keep spinning to pay the bills and which these plates. I need to I gotta you know
I'm not focusing enough on this plate. I'm not focusing enough on this plate
And I was having this big conversation with a William Lee Martin. You know, he's you know
He's a man of God and William Lee Martin said to me. He said what?
He said what if all your praying and wishing and worrying about this thing is limiting what God can do for you in your life
What if you're limiting God by being so focused on this?
And and he's stuck with me
And I thought about it a long time yesterday when I was writing when I started working on writing this episode
So I thought about a long time on the way home. I was really thinking about it all week
like
You know a year ago
I was worried about these little plates over here and they were wobbling and and now I've got all these other plates
Because I changed my perspective and said what can happen and just leaned into what could happen
And now I'm on this 62 cities tour and I got all these other plates and I'm like a good man
You know, clearly you were limiting something clearly. I was limiting something. I
Think we'll wrap that up there right there. Let's do
We've been back in a minute. Oh, let me pull it up my phone. Make sure I got it
That's not gonna be as much fun reading it off the phone
Let's return to the Wally bottoms, Texas
Sheriff guards have pulled down the gravel driveway to the modest brick ranch style home off the highway between Henderson and Sexton City a
Handful of these built in the late 60s dotted the landscape in the area
He remembered riding with his dad uncles to work as a child and thinking that that must be where the rich folks live
After he come home from the Marines got his business off the ground
He got a VA loan through the Montgomery GI Bill and allowed him by it with no down payment
Having his own brick house that ticked the box in his head having a carport for his wife
So she never had to unload groceries in the rain or the muddy driveway of the old rundown single-bedroom shotgun house
They'd rented for years ticked another box that settled him
She had diligently began creating a home for them after they moved in a home permeated with the scent of years of her and our
Sister's cooking in the kitchen
The star Jasmine she had planted nurtured along the little fence around a garden popping with muscadine sweet onions
fresh bright Roma tomatoes
The sage she burned in a small incense bowl on the coffee table keep evil from their sanctuary
Her Buick was gone. It was Wednesday, and she was most likely playing pungent knuckle with a few of her church friends for lunch a
Shapeless vehicle under a heavy canvas tarp discolored by age and heat sat on one side of the carport
They pulled his cruiser on to the side gravel pad he had poured for a boat that he hadn't purchased yet
He nearly pulled the trigger on a skater a few times
But when the hell was he going to go fishing now that he was sheriff
The engine ticked in the heat after he turned the key off the copy of the paperwork
He had delivered former officer Swindon that morning stared at him from the passenger seat
It included a sworn statement from his old partner McAfee about an attack on his own back porch
Not only was Matt being let go the county was picking up charges and would be coming for him soon
Garza wish Matt had reacted in a way that would have provoked an arrest
Instead he just stared at the sheriff through animalistic pupils unblinking with no response at all while they stood in Swindon's unkept front yard
The awkwardness of the silence was only broken when Matt finally grunted
that all
The sheriff met his eyes
Yeah, Matt, I guess that's all
Before he was done speaking the pumpkin headed behemoth had already turned towards the front step as he flatly said
Then get the fuck off my property
Garza drove away feeling guilty deep down he kind of wished he'd been given a reason to shoot the monster
One he could live with anyhow
Maybe his wife could pray that sin away for him like she had tried so hard to do with the others he had brought home from Panama
He couldn't shake the sense that he had just looked a corner dangerous animal in the eyes
He stepped out of the cruiser and walked towards the carport with the black gravel crunching
Underneath the soles of his black leather boots
They pulled the canvas tarp back with both hands from the front of the car shaking dust
Sweet gum balls and pine needles loose as he rolled the tarp and big flat one-foot section slowly
Revealing the long low body of a 1959 Ford custom 300
The car had been his father's only interest outside his wife and children
He called her la joseta a nickname for the Folk Saint Santa Muerte that translates roughly to the bony lady
The black factory paint was faded a few of bubbles on the hood and seams here and there gave way the rust hiding beneath
The bone mill white pinstripe and still shown like a laundromat sign against the faded black every piece hand painted by his father's younger brother
An image of Santa Muerte adorned the trunk lid painted with jaguar claws and
obsidian edged wings
Contrasted just as heavily with the old factory paint
The sheriff's uncle had a skilled hand and even a more adept eye
He pulled the folded tarp to the side and retrieved his jump box from the trunk of his cruiser
Popped along heavy hood and hooked it to the battery
He pumped the gas pedal once to the floor then a half pump before pulling the choke just a quarter and turning the key
The enormous
430 cubic inch
MEL big block his father had salvaged from a wrecked Thunderbird turned twice before rumbling to a choppy idol
Guards have pushed the choke in and pressed lightly on the accelerator
The big engine smoothed out some as it warmed up the lopes still giving away the cam angle some
He couldn't help but grin the same way every time remembering his father's Geely at every improvement in tuning session
See me hoe. You ain't got to be rich to be cool. You just got to be smart
The rumble echoed the cadence of his father's work rhythm and it pushed the leering predatory eyes of Matt Swindon from his head
He unhooked the jump box and closed the hood sat down and shifted the cruisomatic into reverse
He drove her enough to keep gas in the tank, but she needed some maintenance
Maybe some new hoses break shoes and belts
He knew just who he's going to take it to
He backed out of the gravel driveway and pointed lajosa towards duali bottoms
The glass-packed mufflers echoing off the asphalt as the 430 went looking for higher RPMs
Dusty uncharacteristically dropped his mouth in silence when lajosa dabbled into the shop driveway
Tony looked from around of the hood of the minivan
They're working on see what got his attention the dichotomy of the sheriff's uniform and
Aviators against the thunder and exhaust of the chicano style lowrider worked a weird puzzle between the eyes and the brain and for a brief
Second he hummed the Sesame Street song under his breath as he straightened up one of these things ain't like the other
Dusty remembered how to raise his jaw as he laughed you ain't shitting Cordell
The sheriff shut the engine off and stepped out while crowning himself with a department-issued straw hat one-handed
Holy shit sheriff, where'd you find this sweet lady? This thing is tense
Dusty couldn't contain his excitement anymore
The sheriff grand behind his aviators way approaches arms down by a side and Tony relaxed a bit
He didn't realize he'd been holding his breath
My father built it left it to me when the infasema finally took him
I don't drive it nearly enough. She needs a new rubber under the hood and maybe a look at the brakes pedals gotten a little spongy
Heard this was the best new shop around from your grandfather, of course David knotted at Tony
Dusty whistle glow and admiration. It'll take me a few days wrangle the parts, but I'll take good care of her
Sheriff handed Dusty the keys. He took his shades off and held them by his side. I
know y'all will in
fact, I was gonna ask over at the county pool and see if they can send you some overflow maintenance help keep this shop going
They looked out towards the car before thumping his glasses against his other hand absentmindedly
Tony spoke up. I get the feeling the only reason you're that ain't the only reason you're here sheriff
David looked back at the two young men
I fired Matt Swindon this morning. I also let him know the county's decided to pursue charges against him
He didn't seem to give a shit and that's eating at me
I got my men keeping an eye out, but I wouldn't feel right about not wanting you to
Tony looked at the shop before looking back towards Garza
Matt's always been his own worst enemy since school
Thanks for telling us. I'm sure he'll be looking for someone to point it out
Garza knotted. Yep
Dusty never in the mood for a serious moment hopped up into a crotty kid crane stance
I'll be ready for great bait this time, but nobody laughed and he just looked weird for a moment
Guess I'll save my skills for Carson, which got the laugh out of the other two. He is looking for
The sheriff's radio beeped twice before
Voice came over all units all units. We have a report of a structured fire at 4127 county road 218
Residents fully involved occupants unknown rust county fire responding ETA 12 minutes any available units, please respond
David's eyes narrowed as he clicked the receiver
Garza dispatch what's the address on that structure fire again copy
Two beeps then
4127 county road 218 sheriff. That's the McAfee residents Derek McAfee off-duty deputy
Garza's lip tighten as he put his aviators back on
I'm afraid I'm gonna need them keys back. I had to drop her off later. Dusty handed him the keys immediately sure boss anytime
Thanks
I think our friend Matt figured out who to point it at
The sheriff said as he went to get in the car
The big block roared as he accelerated back on the main with gravel crunching under the white wall of michelin's
Tony resumed working on the minivan while dusty stood at the door watching the forward disappear
You already think that big galoot gonna come here cordell damn. Do we do we got insurance?
Tony laughed nervously. I don't know about Matt. He's always been an unpredictable asshole
But I do know that we got insurance and I'm pretty sure this day can't get no weirder. So there's that
Dusty grand as the black amg they've been seeing since they got there pulled in the shop driveway hissing steam
With a clearly irritated brunette behind the wheel
Oh cordell, I think your weirdness is just beginning
I told you she'd show up eventually
Tony jerked his head up so fast. He slammed it on the minivan hood his son of
Amber got out of the hissing Mercedes and smoothed their hair before raising her dark glasses up as a headband
Oh, look, it's my stalkers. She smirked
Who's talking who lady my boy's a native no one else was going to get over dusty today. He was in gear
She didn't smile, but she wasn't frowning when she said
I am too
kind of
Do you work on Mercedes?
Well, I would try to rebuild the transmission, but I think I can handle what sounds like a blown coolant hose
Can you handle that without overcharging me some ridiculous amount because I'm a woman and it's a german car
Dusty laughed. Yes, ma'am. I am nothing if not honest on paper
It was amber's turn to laugh this time
All right
I'll need a ride homeless. You have a loner and I'm not driving that
She stared at Tony who still had not spoken in the minivan
Tony immediately spat out this ain't mine, but he didn't know why
She laughed again natural and real
Dusty jumped in quick. Cordell will be glad to give you a ride. Uh, excuse me Tony
Tony, huh? She looked back at him
That's me. Tony was kicking himself in his head. What the hell man? I sound like an idiot
I figured it out detective. She smiled when she said it
Uh, just let me grab my keys and clean up. Tony mumbled as he headed to the washroom
Dusty took amber's keys and hung them on the pegboard by the office. Why he whistled the theme to threes company
Tune in next week for more from duali bottoms, texas
All right, I can't rip my phone now
Oh have some 13 good lord. I'm swimming in it out here y'all
It didn't get no hotter. Oh no, the tempter did go up. I'll be darned the tempter went up a little bit
But I think the humidity jumped big time
All right, let's let's do some testimony. I gotta do those off the damn phone too
Do some testimonies and we'll get the hell out here for the day
Oh
There they go, I got them all ready
At eva bargo 379 these testimonials from last week, uh, I think she's referring to my aunt when I was talking about
Everything my mom did for she said I think your mom did save her
Life isn't evangelical and just because your aunt didn't have a miraculous conversion into living her life right doesn't mean your mom failed
She lived this long and found herself in the same place to get to see you. Maybe the last good memory of family she ever gets
My mother died a couple weeks ago from liver failure after battling her own brain her entire life
I'm battling my own trauma and resentment while trying to acknowledge her worth and dignity in a world
Where no one else ever did and in those two weeks
I felt exactly the same way as you described with trying not to get caught up and who didn't show up and be
Comforted by those who did
Thanks for going through that with me and your witch ancestors would be really proud of your cat centric show
Well miss eva, I hate to hear that you've been going through the loss of your mother. That's a
It's a tough thing to go through and
I'm glad that you're taking comfort in the people that are showing up for you and allowing them to show up for you
At Presby
As a native Houstonian I've always been jealous of car guys and Cali down here
It takes a homemade swamp cooler and a shade tree to stay alive
Keep up the good work JW root for boy. You ain't kid. I got water dripping down my legs right now
At mr 2355 I've only been listed your podcast for a couple months brother. I'm here to stay
I
Reckon yard resonates with me in a way that nothing else does the stages of growth made me realize
I got a lot to work on in the trust and mercy department
Your podcast give me a lot to think about and I believe they're helping me become a better man husband and father
I've never heard your comedy beyond you talking about on the podcast
I figured my wife and I would scoot on down to hollywood to check it out
We loved it one part that stuck out though was when you explained in how your wife was a real one
I could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice in that moment that you are a hundred percent the genuine article
A master storyteller to boot do all the bottoms has me hooked jerry. I'm rooting for you
I can't wait for the book and we'll catch you next time around. Hey, thank you for that brother
That's the stuff you guys tell me i'm helping you and I'm you know
Like we're trying to become better. I'm trying to become better
And then we're trying to become better together than who the hell can get in the way of that
And thank y'all for coming out that show. That was a fun show. I hope you guys enjoyed christ y'all too because I just love old chris
All right, let's uh
Let's wrap this thing up before I melt and get the hell out of here
I'll get this thing uploaded for you guys and once again. Sorry. I'm late. I love y'all
If you don't make it live chat, I understand that's all on me
But I do love you guys. I'm just doing my best to keep up with the new schedule
I told you
My buddy said something me over a year ago
When I was trying to explain the difficulty of keeping a few financial plates spinning. I was overly focused on
He's a religious fellow. He said jerry
What if all this energy you're putting in to keep those plates spinning is limiting what god could do in your life
And it struck me deeply
Not not necessarily in a religious tone, but in the grand approach to everything
What if sometimes the effort we put into the things we think are the monuments of our time here are limiting the possibilities of growth
And a better shot at finding the life that's already waiting
I get I get questioned about my faith often
And the best honest answer I could give is uh, I'm a bad christ
And that that could just be another plate. I'm trying to figure out how to keep spinning
I grew up in the fundamentalist pentecostal family on one side and a bunch pagans on the other
I have lived the spectrum of belief and disbelief in my life
And I believe there's more people that can
I believe there's more people than not that can resonate with that
Because I come from that world
proselytizing
From true believers never offends me if it's not being utilized to hurt folks
It more often than not glad is my heart to see the love that's at the root of it
I have an envious spot in my heart for those who are sure of everything they do and do not believe
And maybe one day I'll be one of those people who does or does not outright believe in the full measure of the practice of religion
But for now, I just don't know
But but I feel in my heart
It's okay to not know and just strive to be good and kind
While you seek out your own answers to your time here
I'll say this when my buddy spoke those words with me they gave me insight into a different perspective
And this past year's growth and opportunities held just the last two weeks of touring has shown me that my focus on them plates was limited me
Take a look at what plates you're focused on
See if you're limiting where your path might go
By worrying about one wobbling plate that ain't really even part of your plan. No, how
I'm rooting for you. I really am I tell you every week. I'm gonna tell it to you to you believe it
I'm jw and I love you
Oh lordy y'all I got to get out of here my goodness
What's that old say it's like a horrid church something like that?
Whoo
The big dog is melting
Might be the whiskey, but boy sure is going down good
Catch up with you guys next week. Like I said, it'll probably be Monday
Unless I can make some kind of miracle happen
I'm taking all my shit with me because I got to film a bunch of stuff at the racetrack
Come out races hang out with me if you're in the your cave in pennsylvania area
You can get there and and if you get Pittsburgh improv
I'd love to see you there if you can get to the treeline in cleveland
I'd love to see you there if you can get to the woodward and Cincinnati by god
I'd love to see you there and you know, I always love to see everybody in Louisville
You guys have a great week
And and I got nothing but love and healing for you till I see you again
You
About this episode
Wrecking yard–themed banter kicks off with a shout-out to the Lost Sprint Car Series arriving at Bats Motor Speedway, plus ticket and sponsor discount codes. The host then gets into road-trip chaos: an Avalanche’s evolving problems, A/C trouble diagnosed with OBD2, and a separate truck limp-mode mystery involving the purge valve and a TSB. Between breakdowns, there are comedy-tour stops, Route 66 classic Beetle sightings, and a few tense drives and roadside cooling routines.
Original notes
New episode of The Reckon Yard is up. This one’s got a broke down Avalanche, a Tulsa cemetery, a Volkswagen collection I stumbled into, and a lesson about spinning plates I’m still chewing on a year later. Give it a listen.
Also, new chapter of Duwali Bottoms Texas is up. Sheriff Garza’s got a car worth talking about, an old friend running out of chances, and Tony’s about to find out Amber doesn’t scare easy. Grab a chair.
The Reckon Yard Podcast
Jerry Wayne Longmire
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59:28