Two Wolves

Are you really digging for peace?

Or is that just a lie, tell to help us sleep?

Sure that you really want real behind all the stories that go.

Still remembers fire, grass remembers rain.

Every scar tells a story or dial a prank.

If you go digging some, best mind what you find.

A true cup sharper than the tide.

Welcome to the Wrecking Yard.

I'm Jerry Wayne Longmar. Y'all, presumably still y'all.

If you're looking for a place that's open to dirty hands and complicated hearts, you found it.

All are welcome in the Church of Internal Combustion.

We just ask that you arrive with an open heart.

How are y'all doing today?

Well, I'm running a little behind.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Hmm, what a temperature. About 80 degrees, 12.36 in the PM on Sunday, May the 17th.

I'm running real bad.

I just had a lot going on this week.

Let me get started.

That's the wrong cozy I brought.

Well done. I think my chair jacked up.

This is really old chair. It didn't come up all the way anymore.

Before we get too deep into it, let's do a little shout out for our sponsors, right?

Of course, Outlaws and Gents men's grooming products.

They make wonderful hair products, all kind of fantastic beard products.

I've been wearing them a while. I look beautiful in it. You could too.

You know what I always say.

Look, Outlaws and Gents products is not stuff you're going to find on shelf at Walmart.

You ain't going to find it at the Kroger, you ain't going to find it at the HEB.

I went looking for something special.

When me and this dude got together on these products, I feel really good about them because I've used them a long time and I believe in them.

And I know what's in them. It's all natural ingredients and some of the best carrier oils that you can get.

It's one of the reasons you're not going to find this stuff at a grocery store.

But, you know what I always say.

Well, I take less care of yourself than you do everything else.

Ain't too many men I know that would buy a cheap tool or use an aftermarket fuel pump on GM.

You know, there's sometimes you guys spend the money and get the good stuff.

Outlaws and Gents. Go check them out. OutlawsandGents.com.

If you use the code JWBEARD, that's going to get you a discount.

I want to check out.

Of course, also, World of Outlaws Sprint Car and Late Model Race Series.

Y'all know I'm a big motorsports fan and specifically dirt is in my blood.

I grew up on clay tracks and I just adored dirt track racing.

It is the thing that brings me the most joy when it comes to motorsport.

And the World of Outlaws has been around since the late 60s.

And they've done a lot of good for the sport as far as sanctioning tracks,

taking care of drivers, grooming the good drivers, making them better.

You owe it to yourself to see the World of Outlaws Sprint cars run full wide just one time.

Just one time. You need to see that.

See them late models come out three wide with the fireworks going off.

It's the greatest show on dirt.

If you like any of the merch I wear, I'm not wearing any right now.

I love you seeing a lot of my different hats and stuff.

If you go to worldoutlaws.com, they got a great merch shop there.

You can get anything you want. OutlawsandGents also has merch too.

I love his hats.

He's got some cool things. He's got a really leather bag I like.

Anyways, those are the sponsors for the wrecking yard.

Those are the people helping me keep this thing going.

I'm looking at the schedule coming up guys.

I hate to do it, but I think the wrecking yard is going to have to go audio.

I think I might have to give up the video part of the podcast and that sucks.

But I just don't see how I can keep up with doing this every week and the tour schedule.

The one option, and I'm glad they welcome you guys feedback.

You're the ones that watch it.

One option is try to record a bunch of episodes and get them in the can.

My fear with that is by trying to jam a bunch of episodes out, they're not going to be organic.

You're not going to be able to keep up with what I'm doing, where I'm going.

I just don't like that as much.

I could do it, but I don't think I'm going to be as happy with the product.

In turn, I don't think you're going to be as happy with the product.

But certainly let me know in the comments.

Feel free to send an email.

Whatever your feedback is.

A lot of these dates are so close together and they are breakneck traveling dates.

And I just don't know how I'm going to be able to, you know, unless I film this thing in hotel rooms,

whichever time I do that, it looks like shit.

And I can't travel and carry all these lights and all this crap with me, you know.

And really without being here in the wrecking yard, I don't even understand what purpose of the bidget is, you know.

And that's just here to talk, you know, and I can do that.

I can do audio anywhere.

Audio can move with me on the go.

And then I can write organic episodes or keeping up with the pace of what's happening actually in real time.

You know, I don't know, I'm torn about it, but that's what I'm looking at.

Not this month and certainly not until probably after June, you know, which I'm not sure what episodes will be in by then,

but it's just I'm looking at that schedule and I don't see a way around the way to do it.

And I really want to keep this show going and it may just have to be an audio show after that point.

So certainly welcome you guys feedback.

Let me know what you're thinking.

Scripts upside down.

I'm a little frustrated about this episode because I wrote all my notes and I wrote the episode out.

Then sometime yesterday you've done I accidentally deleted the note and I cannot get it back.

How the hell I did that?

But boy, man, I didn't holler at myself about it.

One of the reasons I'm running so late today is I had to try to recall everything I could from my notes and scramble this thing back out.

But I know the meat of it.

I know what I was talking about.

I wasn't going to talk about this.

But then every time I sat down to write this episode, I kept thinking about it and you got to stick with me through shit.

And and I wanted y'all to know and but I got to be careful talking about it.

I can't name anybody.

But I told y'all a couple weeks back I was I was wrestling something.

That part of me was gearing up for war while the other part was trying to slow him down and make him go through the five labors while facing the decision.

Told y'all was sitting on a plane dealing with it.

It's been an ongoing problem and it finally reached ahead.

And that situation has come to a conclusion.

Y'all know I signed with a publisher a little over a year ago, published the wrecking yard memoir, pick a rest novel, whatever you want to call it.

I feel it's more of a pick a rest novel than a memoir.

I don't like the word memoir because it sounds French and useless.

I don't have any basis for that.

It just sounds that way.

I don't know.

A memoir always makes me think of underwear and unmentionables.

I don't like the word.

But apparently I got put it on the book according to the layout people.

Marketing crap.

You know, I get it.

I get books have to fall in the category.

I get all that.

But I don't like that word.

I don't know.

And then me and Adam come very dear friends while we were working on together, my editor.

I don't like calling my editor because he's more of my editor.

Adam is my friend and Adam's family.

He just sent me a bunch of notes last night for another script that we've been talking about working on together.

And it's kind of an apocalyptic.

It's like a light apocalypse happened.

It's not that big a deal.

We just lost a lot of electronics.

And theoretically, it's about pop all in the record yard and how he anyway, it's a fun thing for working on together right now.

It's a whole idea.

We're going to try to put a screenplay together out of it.

I was just reading the notes a little while ago.

But I contracted publisher record yard.

Tell me now I've had some little bumps in the road with my publisher.

I fired my publisher on the record yard.

That is the conclusion I fired my publisher, which is a very, very scary thing.

A lot of times when publishers and authors split apart, nothing ever happens in that book.

It just goes dead.

I feel very good about the decision.

But there's a lot of reasons behind it.

Originally, we decided to publish a book that the thought process was me and Adam would get the book buttoned up edited ready to go for ARC in November, which I told you all about.

I was all excited about we got it hit.

We got it done ahead of schedule.

I ground be.

We were working at a grinding pace.

I stopped going to the gym.

I was trying to finish this thing to get it ready so that it would be released to fall of 2026.

Well, then we turned to ARC and the publisher said it was going to be released spring of 2027.

And I said, why so long?

And, you know, there were all these reasons about why it need to be delayed and yada, yada, yada, but none of it really made sense.

None of it.

I took it on the chest and I was pissed because I had just been grinding like I had been for months.

I just ate it.

Well, maybe I misunderstood what y'all were telling me, but I didn't think I did.

I didn't think I did.

You know, I'll let myself be be gaslit just enough to get through something.

But I was pretty sure that's not what I was told.

And.

Rachel went back forth across it.

She was mad about to.

We talked with Adam.

We all got on the same page said, OK, well, what's the game plan for if it's going to be released this?

Well, then the publisher takes my book and he comes back with all these pithy notes about the book and none of these notes make a liquor sense.

You know, I mean, I guess they did, but the notes come back and they were just so there was just something that didn't add up about the notes.

And I found out a few months later that the publisher never finished reading the book read like three chapters and decided to start firing off notes knew nothing about the book.

I found that out when we got into the cover layout.

We were trying to do the cover and we were selecting our cover ideas and why and one of the cover ideas for the book originally was a photo of me.

Standing in front of Papa's shop and there's a big old pine tree beside me and the guy started giving us notes about how most people don't know what a Paw Paw tree is.

I'm like, what the shit are you talking?

I had to look at it.

I didn't know what a Paw Paw tree was.

Some damn tree in North Carolina.

I didn't know what this dude was talking about.

And then all these notes about people don't know, you know, I told you guys all the notes about.

Paw Paw is a grandfather or a father, even though I specifically talk about my father and reference him as my father.

Just all these notes and what I did was I internalized it all.

I told you I have some insecurities about the literary world and this kind of thing.

I internalized that stuff.

And I got it in my head that the book wasn't good enough.

That there was something wrong with the book and that maybe the book was a mistake and I really got my head about it.

I didn't externalize that or vocalize it, but I was just dealing with it.

And I went back through the book for edits to see and there just wasn't anything I wanted to change about the book.

I was happy with the book and the notes didn't make sense.

They didn't add up.

There was a lot of stuff not adding up about all this.

And I knew some things about Adam and stuff was going on in the book.

And then there were some other things that happened.

There's a big festival every year called AWP.

And the people who were signed on to be the agents for the book for the sub rights who were all excited about it is a different agency.

And in this AWP thing, everybody in the literary world goes to it.

It's about all the books that are coming out, all this kind of stuff.

And it's a place to network and do business.

And then I heard a story from a handful of people about my publisher just being shit-faced drunk at AWP and not doing any networking, just being drunk and making an ass out of themselves.

In front of the sub rights people, in front of other people involved with the book, from other authors I know and I'm friends with.

It was a miracle.

It was really something, how many phone calls I got about this.

And I ain't got a problem if you're a drinking man.

I've been a drinking man myself.

I still enjoy a niff on occasion.

But when you're supposed to be working, you're supposed to be working.

You're supposed to say, I don't drink before shows.

Even when I did drugs, I didn't do drugs before shows.

Because when you're supposed to be working, you're supposed to be working.

You ask anybody on the job site.

You don't come to the job site drunk and hide.

There's people that do.

They don't last very long.

That's the thing when you do when you go home.

Go home and drink on your porch like a grown-up.

But you don't do it at work.

I don't give a shit what business you're in.

Not if you're serious.

And I like to do business with serious people.

I may have jokes and laugh about things and cut up a little bit.

But then when I sit down and put pen to paper with people, I like them to be serious people.

But there's all these stories.

And I didn't know this because I'm not from the literary world.

I didn't know this until I started really researching and asking some questions

and talking to some people in the business.

And found out it's real common for this kind of thing to happen.

I found out that publisher author problems are real common.

Real common.

And what usually happens is if an author decides they can't work with a publisher anymore,

no other publishers want to touch their book because they feel like that author might be a problem.

And there's a lot of authors that are a problem that don't...

Sorry about that.

That's somebody else.

So it's scary. It's scary.

But I was seeing things, things weren't adding up.

And I've seen these kind of patterns before.

And when you have a publisher, a publisher should be champion your book.

A publisher champion your book and you to everybody they meet.

And that's not what I was hearing.

What I was hearing was the publisher didn't understand my book

and couldn't get past their own perspective to understand what it's about.

I told you they called it the car book for months.

It was all eating me up in the back of my hand.

It was all getting in to me while I was working on the five labors and all this stuff.

It's really been coming to head the last couple months because things just weren't adding up.

And I knew Adam was very unhappy.

And Adam, let me tell you something.

I'm not saying this because he's my friend.

I can tell you which one of my friends are deadbeats.

Not all my friends are studious people.

Adam's one of the hardest working, good-hearted people I've ever met in my life.

He is a man I'm fortunate to know.

I'm so glad that our paths crossed and I get to be his friend.

He is one of the hardest working, more intelligent and honest people I've ever met.

He's always on the right side of things when it comes to honesty, even when it can be hurtful to him.

And Adam didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to, in my head, mess with me.

But I found out he wasn't being paid.

That this publisher owed him a bunch of big ol' sum of money and he hadn't been paid.

And any attempts to get paid were being met with non-compliance.

And I'll be damned.

I just tell you, that boy is family to me now.

And you ain't gonna take food out of my family's mouth and do business with me.

You just ain't.

I don't give a shit what it cost me.

You just ain't.

You're not gonna take food from my people's table and then try to make some money with me.

And I've been on the right side of a lot of things in my life but always been the underdog.

Not in a position to do nothing about it.

Plenty of times I did try to do something about it, all it did was cost me.

Me and Rachel sat with this and once we put all the pieces together and did a little digging on this person

and found out there was a whole lot of things not adding up.

Made the decision.

Wasn't an easy decision to arrive at.

This book's very important to me. It's very sacred to me.

It's my story. It's part of my story.

You guys watched along with the first season.

You know how hard it was to tell that story.

It was even harder to write it down.

It's even harder to put it on paper and see it there in black and white.

I cut myself deep writing this story.

And I just can't see moving forward with it with somebody I no longer trust.

I can't write a book about coming up blue collar and what it's like to learn about life

and how to learn how to be a better person.

I can't do all that work when somebody don't pay the people.

Don't take care of the people.

No.

No, I don't know.

My manager and partner and everything Rachel.

She consulted. She knows a bunch of lawyers and she's kind of from the legal world

and we have friends with lots of lawyers and stuff.

We ever get a bind if we need some help and we needed some help.

So she went out there and she consulted with everybody about this contract

and what was going on and everything.

And found out that the contract had already been breached a number of times

by the part that everything was in breach of this contract.

Didn't even know this.

This dude was selling, this dude put a pre-ordered link out to buy my book

and was selling pre-orders my book.

And I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if the book's not finished.

I don't know anything about the literary world.

I didn't know that was a no-no.

But talked to a number of people in the business and that's a whole problem.

And honestly, that's a problem I'm probably going to have to eat.

That man sold about $1,700 worth of books of mine to people.

And the promise they'd get that book in the spring.

And I'm going to be, I can tell you right now that I'm not going to let that go unanswered.

I'll be assuming the damage that for now if he decides not to do the right thing,

which at this point would only fit the pattern of what I've witnessed in the last year or so.

You know, I check up on folks I do business with.

I should have checked better on this one.

Should have checked better, but less than learned.

I know a little more about this business now.

I found out this is a problem all over the literary world.

All over the literary world.

Because supposedly that money cannot be accessed or, you know, I don't want to get into all that.

The nonsense I've been told about that.

Regardless, I'm going to make sure I'm working on getting a list of all those people that bought my pre-order of my book.

And I promise you, you will be getting the book from me.

If I got to buy a box of them, sign them and send them out to you myself on my own dime, you will get your book.

I'm also, then I feel it's necessary to say this, I'm in a place of privilege on this.

It's a common problem in the literary world.

Authors not getting paid, all kind of scammy stuff in the background.

And very few authors can speak up about it or do anything about it because they ain't got another place for the book to land.

I told you, a lot of times books just get forgotten about.

Other publishers are shy away once the rumor mill is going.

I'm fortunate in that thanks to Rachel's efforts and thanks to Adam's efforts, my book had several places to land.

There was three publishers who were interested in it already.

And my book is safely in the hands of a publisher I trust now and one who champions the book.

One who read the book the first night I sent him the book, he started reading it at 10 p.m.

I got a text back at 3 a.m. he had finished it.

And now we're back in contention for fall 2026 rollout.

We got to move quick on it, but we were working on the cover.

The cover looks so good now.

Oh my God, we've been working on the cover for two days and the cover of this book is something beautiful.

And there's an Easter egg in it for all you people that know for all you people that really know that know about mom's car.

People really know there's big O Easter egg right on the front cover for you.

So it's okay.

Yeah, put myself out there took a chance, but but I felt like it was the right thing to do.

I'm finally in a position to do something about somebody screwing somebody over that can't do anything about it.

And I'm in a position to do something about it.

So I'm going to do it and books back on schedule.

Only downside is is I don't know where I stand with my sub rights agents in the breakup, which really sucks.

I couldn't tell all y'all this, but these particular agents are awesome.

They had Netflix and a whole roster of other big names at the table excited about this book and the sub rights excited about the wrecking yard.

There was I've been sharpening my new comedy special because secretly I thought inside because of the offers that were being mentioned that that my special might be a very well produced big deal by a big name.

It looked like it was going to happen.

I couldn't tell nobody about it, but I was excited inside and honestly, I don't know where any of that stands now.

Doesn't stand great in my head because I'm a pessimist inside.

Which at that part of it goes away.

Not happy about it, but I'm comfortable with that.

I've made my peace with it.

I knew going in and making the decision I made could blow all that up for me.

I knew there was a possibility.

I still believe that it's been handled correctly, at least in a way that allows me to look myself in the mirror and still be all right with this guy.

I didn't get to fight though.

I wanted to fight.

Oh, that little guy of me that wants to just throw a flag and go.

He didn't get to fight.

He did not get to fight.

Cooler heads prevailed.

Even mine.

But I'll tell you this.

Here's what I know.

You won't find to be true successful folks in business that don't pay the people.

If you find, look, there's plenty of hack jobs, dudes, bankrupting, defaulting on loans, keeping money in flux because they know how to play the game.

But I never think of them as successful businessmen.

All the successful businessmen I've ever known in my life, they don't bankrupt jobs.

They don't default on them and they make sure that people get paid first.

If you find a situation where the employees aren't getting paid and the person responsible for that, it's either one or two things.

They've run out of money or there's a problem.

Always.

One of the what are the fun upsides though that I didn't know I just found this out of moving my book to this other publisher is now that my book will be printed in Tennessee now right outside of Nashville.

It will be printed in Tennessee, which tickles me.

I didn't know previously the other publisher was planning on printing the book in India because I guess a lot of books are printed in India.

And find out the book will be printed in Tennessee just makes me happy because every copy sold puts a little money through a Tennessee press operator, a binder, warehouse picker, some freight driver hauling it out, bookstore clerk and Tyler,

Lufkin or Nakadotius who shelves it.

That's a different economy than a container ship from Chennai unloading at Long Beach.

Same book, but the dollar is going to take different paths home.

And I really liked the idea that my book will be printed and worked on by people I'm trying to sell it to.

People whose way of life is something I'm familiar with my people.

Working folks.

So that brings me a great deal of solace.

Damn, I wanted to fight. I didn't get the opportunity to fight.

And I don't think I'm going to.

This man apparently has been called out before and knows when it's time to fold your cards.

Oh, I was hot.

That little guy of me was, oh, he's ready.

He's ready.

And I try not to do things.

Look, I've done it so many times when I didn't need to and screwed myself.

Well, I've let that guy drive the boat too many times and get us in a mess of trouble and cause problems.

But boy, I wanted to.

I want to just hand him the wheel and back off for a minute.

I get real.

I'm very, very productive of my friends and my chosen family.

You come after Joey, you come after David or Adam, my people.

My God, you'll see a side of me.

I don't care to display these days.

Not a side of me I'm proud of, but I understand it's a tool.

It was kind of the magic of this situation, actually, because right on the heels of the five labors, I had to sit there and apply him to something.

I'm not angry at this guy in the traditional sense.

It's more a position of mercy and pity.

It's a.

But boy, I had to put my own bullshit to the test to make sure.

Oh, shit, guys.

I just don't know.

Oh, I was hot.

I was hot, hot.

And we'll see, you know.

That's why we're always working on different things.

You can't have all your eggs in one basket eating.

You got to always have some of your eggs and other baskets working for you.

That's why I do the social media is why we're doing the tour.

It's why we're doing different things because you can't depend on any one thing.

And this big thing was falling apart and I was watching it.

And I wasn't sure how to.

I wasn't sure if my actions were going to cause it to fall apart farther.

Thanks to Rachel's efforts.

It found another home.

And I tell you, I have ultimate.

That's where the trust comes in.

She's my trust.

You know, her talked about this and worked through it and her cooler head prevailed.

And look, Rachel likes to go to war too.

But she does war a different way.

Rachel does war with the brain.

And I pity any fool that gets on the wrong side of that.

I have a couple of times.

It's not good.

Rachel also has a real big old heart and you start mistreating people.

And you sure find yourself on the other side of a trowel from her having to prepare.

It's one of the things I love most about her.

She's a warrior.

Different kind.

Like I ain't never run across in my life.

That woman got a fire and intellect to back it up.

And by God.

Like I said, good news is the books say the books coming out.

My new publisher has all the abilities that my old publisher did.

And I know because of conversations with him about the book.

He's read the book and he understands the book and he understands me and my art.

And now I can.

Oh, that cover is looking good.

When I saw it, it brought tears to my eyes.

That's how good it is.

And every time I look at it, it catches my breath.

That's how good it is.

All these other people like, well, we want your face on the cover so people know how to buy it.

They'll know they see you and that's the book they need to buy.

My other publisher tend to look at people as if they were idiots.

And that's really not, that's old marketing from the 1980s.

It's the dumbest effin thing I've ever, it's just idiotic in this day and age.

Anyway, let's wrap that up for there.

It's going to be a little bit of a short week.

And...

Let's return to the Wally Bottom's text.

Oh, I'm going to get my readings fixed.

In fact, I went to the eye doctor.

We still ain't got my eyeballs fixed up.

So I'm still having to use these.

Phong Song Plains, Vietnam, 1966.

Carl Senior stood at the back of the M151 just 20 feet maybe from where his staff sergeant Tillman prepared to crank the M113 up.

He had thrown a track last night and they'd been out since sunrise wrestling back on.

The salty fog from the coast creeps thick and slow in mid-December across the fields and paddies.

Even in this short distance, Carl can barely make out his superior officer.

He wipes the clay from the tools as he puts them up.

The clay here is red like the soil that raised him, but pungent and iron heavy.

Same, but different.

He briefly allowed his mind to wander to Atlanta with her piercing green eyes.

It was those 600 or thereabouts and he figured back home she was probably getting the boy ready for her bed, feeding the baby.

His hands completed the mechanical task until a faint scream shook him to his senses.

He looked at Sergeant Tillman but couldn't tell if he registered the sound.

There was an empty village just behind him where it come from.

Carl grabbed the heavy M14 leaning against the fender and took off towards the boys,

wrapping the strap around his lean, sinned forearm and crouching.

There were more voices now and clearer.

One in particular was deep and flat like the accents in the hills of North and South Carolina.

Saddle down, honey. We just want to look.

Carl heard hurried, booted footsteps. Then the boys he heard first cried out again.

Soon lie, soon lie.

Jasmine, the spice floated in the fog and intertwined with the cooking ash smell of the village as Carl stepped around the small hut.

An infantry man stood with his rifle resting across his shoulders that were every bit as wide as an axe handle as long and thick with muscle.

His ruddy blonde hair poked out from his pot and there was no insignia on his jungle fatigues.

He was at least six foot tall and probably had 40 pounds on Carl.

There was a scar across the bridge of his nose and left cheek that looked fresh enough to have happened in country.

Maybe a bayonet.

When he looked at Carl, his blue eyes were like hard, vacant marbles.

The girl was Vietnamese, maybe 14 years old and crying under her breath softly.

Soon lie, soon lie.

Her clothes were torn and her face red and streaked with tears.

Another grunt held her by her arms but let her go as soon as he saw Carl.

His nose looked like he'd been broken enough times to know better.

Another infantry man stood behind him but couldn't be seen well in the fog.

The biggest looked at Carl and coolly said,

Well, you snooping around for a wrench ain't nothing to work on here.

Carl lowered his rifle.

What's going on?

None of your business wrench.

Go air up a fucking tire.

Large men said his rifle leaning against the stump as he took a step towards Carl.

Carl's voice was louder this time.

Maybe he was hoping Tillman would hear him.

What are y'all doing to that girl?

The big man grew impatient and took another step.

Carl seen his right hand go to the butt of his sheath of nine.

Do you got a hearing problem wrench?

Need me to clean them some bitches out for you?

Carl took a step back but stiffened his muscles.

A sound from behind the hut caught everyone's attention.

The Staff Sergeant Tillman stepped around the hut with his .45 caliber sidearm pointed down in his hand.

Tillman was as big as the ringleader.

An easy-going smiling man from Athens, Georgia where he had worked in his uncle's junkyard before he ended up here.

He'd probably never leave the military because as bad as it was here, it was still better than what he had come from.

He stepped beside Carl.

Heinz, I thought you got lost. What have you found?

The big man recognized Tillman's rank, put his hand at ease off the knife.

Sir, we called her sneaking around a cleared zone.

Tillman looked at the man and walked past him towards the girl.

She raised her eyes to meet him and he hosted his weapon.

She was silent and shaking.

He knew just enough Vietnamese to help.

They pulled a Hershey bar from his pocket.

Naimou?

He knew just a little of the language.

She nodded and took the chalky candy bar from him.

He waved her off.

Chang Chu.

She paused unsure for a moment before taking off into the fog as fast as her feet could carry her.

Tillman turned and faced the big scarred soldier.

Tillman's eyes were locked on his face when he spoke.

She's just hungry.

Glad we could help her out.

Heinz, we need to get back to the fire base.

I believe these men probably got somewhere more important to be.

He was smiling as he spoke.

The big man nodded and muttered,

Yes, sir, under his breath.

He stepped close to Carl as he walked by and whispered,

Watchy Six, wrench, it's scary out here.

Later that evening, Carl closed up the makeshift shop at the Calvary base

and walked back behind the tent to light a cigarette.

A lumen presence in the shadows stopped him in his tracks.

It was the big scarred goon in his buddy with the mangled nose.

There's our noisy little wrench

before he landed a fist in Carl's kidney, dropping him to one knee.

Lit cigarette dropping in the mud beside Carl, the ember glowing in the dark.

The man with the busted nose spoke up.

Man, you said we were just going to scare him.

What the fuck are you doing?

The big man laughed flatly.

If you ain't got the stomach for it yet.

Broke nose must have not had the stomach for it

because he faded away in the shadows cussing under his breath.

The big man stepped closer to Carl.

You gotta be careful in the dark wrench.

Might get hurt.

His big hand went to the sheath of his knife as Carl grabbed the cigarette.

As soon as the knife started leaving the sheath, Carl bolted upright

and shoved the burning ember right into his right eye.

With his left hand, he grabbed the big man's wrist holding the knife.

The giant hollard in pain just one time before Carl's hands

that had toaded a McCulloch all over the piney woods

and snap chains together, pulled wrenches,

exploded into his face leaving blood gushing from his mouth and lips.

He was stronger than Carl and managed to put the knife right into Carl's side.

The pain searing into his abdomen like someone had branded him.

Carl had been in pain before though.

They knew each other, him in pain.

They made his next hit even harder.

The big man staggered backwards on to a supply box and went down on his back.

Carl was immediately on top of him with the knife still protruding from his side.

He punched the man's face until the sounds became wet and sticky

and his voice was reduced to a gargle through a useless shattered jaw bone.

Carl turned over in the damp bed.

He grabbed the grass and tried to pull the knife from his side

but the pain blinding and sharp caused him to fade to black.

He woke in a hospital cot.

His side stitched a sweet tinge of morphine in his blood

dulling the pain to a memory.

He remembered the fight was looking around the room

when Tillman's big frame filled the doorway.

Tillman crossed the room, looked at Carl

and pulled his blanket back to look at the stitched wound.

He grinned.

Well, if you think ass bad, you ought to see the other guy.

Carl weakly laughed and then looked at the officer's face searching for intention.

Tillman covered his wound and stepped back.

We found a pile of a big old boy by a big damn fella.

You got some fire in you red.

Carl didn't reply but looked at the ceiling.

Tillman kept going.

You know, I can't help but think that fella was kind of familiar.

Maybe the other morning we run across him.

That ring any bells, hangs?

Carl swallowed.

You know, I'm not sure I got a good look at the guy, sergeant.

It was pretty dark.

Tillman chewed on his lip, nodded and headed towards the door.

He stopped in the door frame and looked back at Carl.

Haines.

Watch your six, Bubba.

Some of these guys been in country too long

and didn't come from much civilization to begin with.

He tapped the door frame with his large hand

before walking down the corridor, boot heels clicking.

Carl Sr. was startled by a blur of headlights.

Snapped him out of it.

The sound of his pickup tires catching the gravel at the edge of the road.

He quickly straightened the pickup and took a deep breath.

He mashed the accelerator and the old truck roared as he made his way to the Rust County Jail.

He had been listening to the scanner after getting up to go pee.

Old bladders keep old men on the move at night.

He had heard his grandson's name on an arrest call

and thrown on his clothes to go see what in the hell was happening.

Tony woke with a start on the wooden bench.

His face felt heavy and everything hurt.

He couldn't open his left eye very well,

but he could hear shouting down the hallway of the old facility.

Dusty was on the other bench, louched back against the wall.

Morning sunshine.

Tony Slout touched his face and winced.

They tuned you up pretty good, Cordell.

Dusty twisted his head and peered out the bars down the hall to the admin desk

and the source of the commotion.

Say, Cordell, you wouldn't happen to know a fella about 59

older than Methuselah with a foot of beard

and just full of piss and vinegar, would you?

Tony laid his head back.

His mouth was dry, but he tried to grin.

That's my papal.

Just then he heard his granddaddy's voice loud and clear.

That Swendon has been a big dumb piece of shit since he come out as mama.

I stomp a mud hole in his ass and walk it dry if I don't get some fucking answers.

Dusty looked back at Tony grinning.

He seems nice.

Tony coughed and tried not to laugh because his face hurt so bad.

Tune in next week for more from Diwali Bottoms, Texas.

Woo!

Things are heating up in Diwali.

Ah, it's getting good. What did I do with my phone?

Oh, there goes the chair. The chair is giving up. Let's go.

There we go. Every once in a while you got mine, that chair is supposed to stay up.

Let's look at that. Let's do some testimonials.

Old buddy, Jacob Altrade's master of fun.

Never thought a fictional story could piss me off so much.

These testimonials from last week.

Yeah, I do something to get hot with them lawmen and start acting like buttholes.

I assume that's what you're referencing.

No, it's lots got to happen, Jake.

Lots got to happen. Stay with me.

I've seen it all in my head.

At John Bandeline 3484.

This episode about imaginary lines is very good. Keep up the amazing content.

Thank you, brother. I'm glad y'all got, you know, last week's episode,

so that was just something rattling around in my brain.

I wanted the, I released the closing sermon on social media and the attention

that's gotten has really surprised me by how much it touched people

and how much they related to it because I kind of felt alone and thinking that way.

So I'm real happy.

At John Chenard PS Dusty reminds me a little of a young JW.

Well, that's very kind to say, but young JW has got more in common with Tony

than he does Dusty.

You know, I couldn't, I knew Dusty reminded me of somebody.

I couldn't figure out me and John talked about this a little bit in comments,

but I couldn't, I couldn't really put two and two together who Dusty reminded me of.

Until I realized that I think Dusty Beaumont might have the DNA of a young rock and roller

that I knew named Chuck Savage. Chuck Savage wasn't his real name either,

but Chuck Savage one of the coolest human beings I ever known in my life.

A brilliant creative himself. He didn't stand up.

He was also on the Outlaw Dave show for years.

He also traveled the country with Mitch Hedberg playing upright bass for him.

I think Dusty might got to get an upright bass now.

I didn't even, boy, I tell you, when it dawned on me that who Dusty,

they're not the same person, but there's just so much there that I was like,

oh, that tickles me. Sometimes I write a character and I don't, I know, I know the character.

You know, me and my buddy John Garver talking about a book he just wrote a while back

that I just read and I was reading it and there's a character in their name White

and I say, who the hell is White to you?

Because in four sentences, you told me a whole lot about White

and when somebody can tell you a lot about somebody in a short period of time,

they know that person, person.

I always tell people, I don't write, I'm just pulling this shit.

I just see it. I see this stuff and then I put it on paper.

But I don't know, like maybe I'm a radio antenna, you know,

for stories that already happened or something.

But I heard Merle Hagger describe it that way one time too and it makes sense to me.

Like, I'm not creating this universe, I'm just pulling it out so y'all can see it.

And I asked, I said, who's White? Who's White to you?

And he said, White's a version of me that didn't go through what I went through.

They had a different life and I was like, aha.

And when John asked me about Dusty, I realized Dusty was, Dusty is

somewhere in the realm of this other dude that I looked up to and knew a long time ago.

About the same time period as Dusty's story is happening.

And that just tickles me pink. I just love that.

Let's wrap this thing up and get the hell out of here.

Oh, that's good coffee.

It's kind of magic when you realize that you're real inner circle,

people close to you, believe enough in each other and believe enough in what y'all are doing together to have you back.

And that has taken years of building to get to that point, people you can trust.

Because boy, I told y'all about this situation. I wanted to fight.

I wanted to fight. Oh, I want. We didn't need to in this instant.

What I needed to do was figure out what the right call was.

Take a breath, make sure I do right by the folks counting on me.

I'm sure part of its age, but it's nice to wake up one day and realize you don't have to burn the whole place down because you're leaving the building.

I've burnt some places down. I once wrote a letter to every administrator at A&M because one of their trustees, donor, alumni, whatever you want to call it,

put some vicious screws to me in a business deal. Every administrator I got that letter to.

I have on more than one occasion headed to a job site with every intention of stomping a mud hole in someone's ass, boss, co-worker, customer, what have you,

and tried like hell to the dismay of people who give a damn about me to follow through on that intention.

I've cut my nose off to spot my face more times than I can accurately recollect just because I decided to burn something down because I felt like something wasn't right.

That guy is still in here. He ain't left the room. He just don't drive no more.

When I tell you to work to be kind and how it takes more strength to be kind, that's what I mean. That's what I'm talking about.

It is way easier to hoist a black flag and as the great and complicated warrior or cleat per se would say, click it into the full tilt buggy.

That is way easier. Being kind doesn't mean though letting folks walk all over you. It don't mean letting folks hurt you.

I've said it before, I say it again. I turned the other cheek, but if you push me again, I'm going to turn around and walk the shit out of you.

It's like an old story. There's an old tale. Every man, I got two wolves in me. One light, one dark.

I feed both of them hoes. You never know when you're going to need them. I'm rooting for y'all.

I tell you there every week, I mean I'm rooting for y'all to find the peace that comes with knowing when to fight and when to take a breath and walk away clean.

I'm JW. I love you.

The other boy wanted to fight. I got to tell you that though. The other little me wanted to fight. I might have to take him out and let him shoot some guns and drive too fast.

Tamp him back down because he was there. He was there and ready. You know that feeling and that other party wants to just throw a pirate flag and go.

God feels good to have grown past some of that. I can't tell you how many times I screwed my life, but well you know about a bunch of them.

I hope you guys are having a good week. I hope you're steering around all the obstacles, moving around them like Teflon.

I hope that you know when to lay down the sword and take a minute because young men can pick up swords quite often and make a lot of messes with them.

I love you guys. We're really good. Thank you for sharing your Sunday with me.

I'm from Alabama. I'm about four levels. I got a shitty father and I want to go to heaven.

Two Wolves

Outlaws and Gents

World of Outlaws Sprint Car and Late Model Race Series

dirt track racing

sanctioning tracks

three wide

Ford Edge

About this episode

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