Why Most Dealership Couples Fail (And How the Best Ones Succeed) | Kelly and Rob Ruth, Bob Ruth Ford
Car Dealership Guy Podcast
Why Most Dealership Couples Fail (And How the Best Ones Succeed) | Kelly and Rob Ruth, Bob Ruth FordCar Dealership Guy Podcast · Jul 21, 2026
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Concept
market that's like missing
They’re saying there were not enough people serving a certain kind of car buyer. So they wanted to focus on that group instead of trying to sell to everyone.
Concept
selling all these $20,000 to $30,000 cars
They’re talking about the price range of cars they were mostly selling. Different price ranges attract different buyers and usually require different selling and financing approaches.
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Any business owner, I mean, you put your heart and soul
into something, you only have so much energy to give at times.
And sometimes on the flip side, that's
where the relationships take the negative side of it.
Yeah.
So yeah, it's hard.
I mean, it was definitely hard for us.
I mean, things we've had to navigate through our whole
marriage.
I mean, we've been, we'll be married 24 years this year.
And there's ups and downs.
And there's seasons, I would say.
And Rob and Kelly Ruth on the CDG podcast, Rob Kelly.
Welcome.
Hi.
I think like 300 episodes in.
And this is the first time we have a husband and wife duo.
So this will be fun.
This will be different.
Very relatable, I should say.
Kelly, let's start with you.
You had this line that we spoke about before we started
recording.
You said there is this like competitiveness
between the older women and the younger women.
Like, what do you mean by that?
I've seen it a lot on social media lately,
just kind of like younger women coming into the workforce
and having older women kind of being, quote unquote,
mean to them.
And it's like, it like sat with me because I
had wrote a blog post years ago about the importance of kind
of building those relationships between younger
and older women.
Because I think younger women can teach.
I'm in midlife now.
I'll be 50 in a year.
So I feel like young women kind of can teach us a lot of things.
And the older women can teach younger women a lot of things.
And I feel like there's always competitiveness in women,
but especially aging-wise.
I think younger women maybe think that older women are trying
to get their men.
And the older women think the younger women are trying
to get their men.
There's this whole weird dynamic.
Sounds like we're in South Florida.
Yeah, right.
Exactly.
I mean, I'm sure it's a lot more prominent here
than a lot of places.
When I was younger, I learned so much from older women
that I really took their advice to heart.
And it's kind of disheartening to see kind of that dynamic
online.
It kind of makes me crazy.
So take us back.
Because you have been in the business, of course, together,
right?
Bob Ruth Ford got married, voila, you're now in the business,
whether you like it or not.
Right.
Start us off there.
Before we talk about then your entrance into social media,
and then you rose there.
And of course, the two of you then relocated to South Florida.
We'll talk about all this.
What was it like getting into the business
when, from the outside, and there's, think about it.
I don't think anyone has ever talked about this topic,
but there's every dealer, principal, couple, husband,
wife, there's different types of relationship.
You have the engaged spouse who's in the business,
typically the wife.
Then you have the non-engaged spouse
who's doing a yoga retreat and doesn't want
anything to do with it.
Then you have in the middle and in between.
What was it like for you getting into the business?
I think at first it was super exciting,
honestly.
I come from a family that had a small business.
And so it felt normal to me to be with someone
that was at one day going to be the owner of the business.
And it was exciting and fun.
And he was always coming home and telling me
what happened at work and the day-to-day grind
and this problem and that problem, all those things.
And then the longer you're married,
the less you hear about those things,
or the less you want to hear about those things, I should say.
So now he works from home and I'm like,
can you shut the office door?
I just don't want to hear about car business anymore.
I mean, I love and appreciate what he does, of course.
But the dynamics change over time.
I wouldn't say I wasn't in the day-to-day running,
but I was always someone behind the scenes kind of giving him
more, I would say, how to deal with people in her person.
Like maybe you could have said it this way to that employee,
or maybe you could have done this a little different.
For some reason.
Yeah.
Emotional intelligence.
Right, exactly.
Rob, did you see Kelly getting into the business more actively?
Like was that an intentional thing that you wanted to do?
I don't think that was ever part of our plan.
I mean, I think she was involved enough
and it was such a huge part of our family
that I think two of us involved from a working standpoint.
That wouldn't have been.
Plus, I think we decided early on that he was going to work
and I was going to be home with the kids.
And it was important for me.
My mom was a stay-at-home mom
and I always wanted to be a mom and be a stay-at-home mom.
So that was kind of like my contribution to the business as well.
It was kind of like, I'll hold down the fort here.
100%.
You go to work.
I'll hunt and gather.
You know there's a term for that nowadays.
What is that?
It's called TRAD.
Oh, wow.
Like traditional.
Who cares?
It's so silly.
No, but by the way.
It works for us.
It works really well.
Well, you're saying it's silly, but it's, I would say,
like there's been very, like expectations of society
have shifted so much that there's actually a term
for doing what like DRED.
Biologically, you know.
I would say the vast majority of women would like to be
home with their children, right?
But like the reality is they can't, you know?
I mean, a lot of times, I mean,
especially in a place like South Florida,
it just takes two incomes to make ends meet.
Yeah, I mean, and which is, yeah, in that case,
like I would not live here.
Yeah, right.
I mean, we lived in a small town in Spain.
A man or a young woman man,
if you wanted to, you know, start your life,
this is not the last place.
This is not the place.
This is where you come later in life.
Yeah.
But yeah, I mean, that was kind of like the thing was like,
we're going to build this together,
but also very separate roles, very different roles.
And when we first were married,
I mean, Rob works six days a week, bell to bell,
and we live 30 minutes from the story,
left at 7, 30 o'clock in the morning,
take it home until sometimes 10 o'clock at night.
Worked every Saturday.
So I kind of had to be home.
I mean, how would I have a career and also raise our kids,
the way that I wanted them to be raised
if we were both at the office for 78 hours a week?
Single mom, the first 78 years of our marriage.
So what changed?
Well, I think he recognizes as time goes on,
that's not the life I want to live.
I think he became more successful over time,
so it allowed you to take some time.
That gives you reason, you know, in my position as I grew.
At first I had to learn things, so it takes time.
And then eventually it's like, okay, we need to expand.
We need to grow because I don't want to be
the center of everything all the time.
And more we grew, then you could hand off responsibilities.
So I think for me, that was a big driving force
of why I wanted to grow our company.
So I could have some time to myself and a little bit more freedom.
And when did that start? Like how long ago?
I would say 10 years ago.
Yeah, late 30s.
Took me a while.
You know, honestly, I came from a background.
You know, my dad was, I've talked about this before,
but he barely finished high school.
Just kind of worked his way.
Hard work was the thing.
And you get into that GM role and it was like,
you're the man and all things go through you.
And I think you can do that for a certain amount of time,
but it's not sustainable for the future.
And I think as we grow as a company,
you know, the hardest thing for me was to let go.
And the best thing for me was to let go.
So I think that's where we're at right now.
And it's a good place.
Rob, do you think there is like a disproportionate amount
of dealer principles that deal with like, you know,
divorce or like marriage issues?
Like I wonder if it's the retail business
that takes a toll on relationships,
or it's just the nature of the entrepreneur,
like industry agnostic.
I don't think it's just about the car business.
I think you nailed it right there,
but any business owner,
I mean, you put your heart and soul into something,
you only have so much energy to give at times.
And sometimes on the flip side,
that's where the relationships like take,
they take, you know, the negative side of it.
Yeah.
So, yeah, it's hard.
I mean, it was definitely hard for us.
I mean, we've, things we've had to navigate through
our whole marriage.
I mean, we've been, we'll be married 24 years this year.
And, you know, there's ups and downs,
and there's, there's seasons, I would say,
in life that you go through.
Tell me about that.
I hear this pretty often, season, and like, what's your,
like, what's been the hardest part, would you say?
And I'm talking about, of course,
with respect to the marriage,
but also related to the business.
Like when it comes to, because the business is your life.
Yeah.
I think our toughest season is when we had a transition.
My father passed away.
There was a, there was a period of time there.
It was about two and a half years where we were going
through that transition with my family and buying out the company.
And Kelly may have wanted me to do things a certain way,
where typically I'm very persistent and, you know,
would apply pressure.
And I knew this was a time for patients for me.
And it was, you know, that was,
I think there was a little burnout at that time too,
just burnout from him working all the time,
me being home all the time with the kids, you know,
you get to a point where you're just like, I just,
I just need a break.
And we both were like, I just need a break.
It was like mid-life, we're both 40 years old.
I mean, it's just right at that point.
This was before you relocated down here.
It was right before.
Yeah.
I think, you know, and for me,
I realized when I bought the company too,
it was like, I can't do it another 20 years,
like the last 20 years.
I've got to rethink things and do things differently.
So that was a tough season.
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So you mentioned you were involved,
like let's call it with the emotional intelligence,
which I totally get that.
Dealership psychiatrist, psychologist, person.
And they're done by our own personal side.
When you look back now,
how has she impacted the dealership?
Because I have to imagine, like, you know,
we see all these figureheads, right?
The dealer principle.
But just like when a car buyer comes and we say,
you know, there's a sea lawyer,
and I'm not saying that I don't want to imply
like a negative connotation here.
I think it's a, it could be a very creative positive thing.
It's been in my case, this retreat that we are,
well, by the airing of this, it has already happened
was actually the idea of my wife.
So like the great things happen.
Like what do you think has been her biggest impact
on the business directly or indirectly?
Well, I think she's always given me perspective.
Perspective that I don't see things on my own
where she looks at things differently from me.
And that perspective has made me change course a lot of times.
So she's always been my right-hand man
in times where you don't know who to go to.
You go to your wife or I went to my wife at that moment.
I mean, she's been very impactful in that way.
I also think my role, just like being the stay-at-home mom
that kind of allowed him to do what he needed to do
to grow the business.
You know, I wasn't like calling him all day.
Are you coming home soon?
Are you coming? What are you coming home?
What are you doing? Like, why aren't you here?
I have that, you know, like, I mean, we had those moments.
Don't get me. It happens every once in a while
when you're just like losing your mind.
But, you know, for the most part, I was like,
I'm in, we're in this together and I'm at home
and you're a work and I'll see when you get home.
And that's that, you know, if you're going to have,
you're going to own a car dealership,
you're going to own any successful business,
you're going to need someone that is kind of like
at home doing, if you want to have a family,
that's taking care of business at home too.
And that's just as important or more important in many ways
than running a business.
So let's actually fast forward there because you have now,
you just had a recent grandchild, right?
Yeah. We did. Congrats.
Oh, it's so great.
Super exciting.
If you fast forward from that stage where like you have to be home
to the stage where you maybe have a little bit more time,
you did launch a blog.
I did. That was before that was very successful.
It was, it was for a while.
Tell us about it. Like, what was this?
I view it as like you need in order to do new things,
anything, you have to have time to think.
Which is why I'm very big into like the empty calendar.
In my position, that's an effective use of time
because I am a wanderer.
Like I tinker, I walk around.
Yeah. I see the tree and suddenly I think the tree
can translate into that.
And like that's just how my brain works,
but you can only do that with free time in my position.
So I think, so now back to you.
Like how did you, where did this inspiration?
Like why start this blog into, you know,
like send these messages to other women out there?
Like what was, what was this all about?
So I felt like there was like a gap in that like influencer
in like market of like older women.
Like I was at the time, I think I was just about to turn 40
when I decided to do it.
And I felt like there was this gap of like
most of the influencer influencers or bloggers at that time
were like in their twenties, early thirties.
And I thought there's this whole market that's like missing
that I kind of wanted to fill that gap for.
So you saw that we were selling all these $20,000 to $30,000 cars
and you're like, we got to sell some $40,000 cars, $35,000.
There's a market for that.
It was more like a personal thing for me.
It was kind of like my thing.
That's my car business analysis.
That's, you're hitting the nail on the head right there.
It was like my thing.
You know, I needed something for her.
You've always been part of my, our success,
but you wanted something for just Kelly.
And I didn't understand it either.
I've always been a creative though.
I love to write. read.
I love like creating things like I used to scrap book.
Like it just like kind of like was a creative outlet for me.
And I think I started it like a few years before COVID.
And then COVID came and then it was kind of,
I just didn't have time for it because the kids were home from school.
And then when they did go back to school,
they could only go like two days a week.
And then we bought a house here, a second home here in Florida.
And if you went to Florida, you would just take a test to go back.
It was like a whole thing.
So my free time was pretty much gone at that point.
So I just, I haven't officially blogged on there
and probably five or six years.
You were mentoring a lot of young women who had just questions.
They wanted your life, but then understand how you get there.
Yeah. And I think, I think people have a perception of you.
Like when you, when your husband is successful,
kind of like what your daily life is like or what you're doing.
And I kind of wanted to give like a little sneak behind the scenes.
It's like not always glamorous.
And I always kind of wanted to touch on like the hard work it took
to get where we are because I think a lot of younger people think
that success is instant and that once you have it, you keep it
and it never goes away.
But it's something you have to work at all the time.
Of course.
Just again, it's good.
And so I liked kind of talking about like where we started.
You know, when Rob met me, I was a waitress going into college.
I was a single mother.
And what town was this in?
Harrisburg.
Harrisburg, yeah.
Amazing.
You know, so we met, we got married.
And then, you know, he was working all the time.
I was home at night.
At an instant family.
Yeah.
We had an instant family because, you know, my oldest, our oldest daughter, sorry.
And then we had two more children.
And then, you know, then the grind just like started, you know.
And if it wasn't as glamorous as what our lives are now, for sure.
I think sometimes people that are younger want our lives in our late 40s
in their 30s.
It just doesn't work that way.
98% of the time.
I think for me too, I always appreciated what she did, but I never really understood it.
And I think as we got older and she started doing, you know, more of her blogging
and everything, I remember one time I'm doing the laundry.
Okay.
And I probably hadn't done the laundry in like 10 years, you know, I'm doing the laundry
and I'm taking, unfolding everybody's socks and I'm just like frustrated.
And I was like, what the, like, why am I doing the damn laundry?
Yeah.
And then it like, it like clicked.
How many times has my wife been doing the laundry and thinking the same damn thing?
Oh my God.
Like six loads a day.
Every day.
No, it was like just a turning point for me that I'm like, wow, you know, I, I don't
want to say I took it for granted, but you take for granted all the little things behind
the scenes when you're focused on, you know, just like big things over here.
It's just all those details.
This is more of like a taboo topic, but I'm sure you'll have an opinion here.
What do you think about like the husband in the workplace?
And by the way, this has nothing to do with you guys.
This is talking in general, but it's obviously it's an intimate place with other women.
And I know like you've also, we've all seen the stories of like things happening at dealerships.
And so is that like, did you ever like veto any hires?
Was that ever like a thing?
Did you ever get that involved?
I never, I never worried about it.
I never really thought about it, to be honest.
It's a huge issue in our industry.
Our industry is very male dominant too.
So I mean, it's a little different.
I mean, now we have more women.
Thank God.
Cause we need it.
But when we started, it was, you know, I think there was maybe two or three office girls
and we, when we first, when I first got there.
And one of them was like his old babysitter.
So like it really, I'm thinking of all the stories over the years of, um, I don't want to,
I don't want to be, uh, you know, disrespectful.
I'm thinking about the things that have happened out there.
And I'm like, how would they, you know, how would you react in that situation?
And like, what would they do?
So there's, it's just, it's retail and it's long hours and yeah.
And you're with the same people all the time.
Your family, I mean, I also think from Rob's perspective,
that would impact his business so much to kind of go astray or like have that,
a weird kind of relationship with someone at work.
Like he could ruin him.
And I think Rob's not a dummy.
Right.
That would be motivation enough for him besides being married to squash that.
So I want to talk more about the transition of Florida.
Like what happened at, who's the person that woke up and said like, we're getting out of here.
Me, me, I cried.
Every, we had a second home here.
I cried.
I literally cried.
It was, it was something that we had planned doing.
You had a second home here already?
We did.
During COVID, we bought it.
So we, we had, I'm saying we manifested it because we, we were traveling to Florida,
get Pennsylvania in the winter stuff.
So we needed sunshine and especially her.
We had to come down here a lot.
We, we came down here a lot.
It is tough in the winter.
So during COVID, we were with her, her family, we, we took a vacation in July of 2020.
And your dad was telling me about a house that they were moving to Florida on the other side
of Florida.
He was telling me about the house he was building.
And I asked him about the mortgage rate.
He said, I'm getting a 2.5% mortgage.
And I'm like, ding, ding.
I said, Kel, we're going to buy a house tomorrow.
Like, so I called the mortgage guy, got approved.
And we literally came over here to Delray and we bought a house the next day.
Wow.
So then I'm going back and forth.
And it was a long-term goal of ours to come to Florida.
We always said when the kids go to college, we're going to have a home in Florida.
So it was kind of like now we had planned it.
Maybe.
But I found that when I was here, I was actually able to get a lot of work done.
I'm working on the business instead of working in the business.
How to.
Yeah, and the choice, you're not there.
And I could see the more we came, the less she wanted to go back.
Especially in the winter.
She says it was her.
I already knew it was coming.
So I was already planning it.
And here we are.
Yeah.
And it's been a great thing.
It was a big move for us, though.
I mean, our.
In general, how has being away from the physical retail establishment been for the business?
I think it's been great.
I mean, it's a complete different perspective that I have versus being in the mix every day.
And it just allows me to be a better coach.
It forces you to delegate because your hands are tied.
So it's more about putting the right systems and processes in place now than actually
finding just a guy or this or that.
So it's just more strategic.
I can be more creative.
Like you told me when I will say to it's been like a huge adjustment for us
since we moved here, because we were so used to being apart from each other.
Like the house was my office.
Like in the kids went to school, he went to work.
The house is my, you know, I'm cleaning, I'm cooking, whatever I'm doing during the day
or blogging, whatever.
And then moving here, his office is now at the house.
Wow.
It's an adjustment.
After 20 years of your husband working 13, 14, 15, 16 hour days outside of the home.
And now he's home every day.
So it's definitely been adjustment for us.
Almost like he's semi-retired.
Not that you are, not that you don't work, but like you're still home.
How did you decide to make this trade off or like balance in your mind of
you're still operating, right?
Your business is still, your location is still growing.
But you're not, you know, acquiring five stores in two years, right?
There's just different paces which you can be moving at.
How did you find your balance?
Like how did you discover that this is the right balance for you where you can have this
enough independence, but also still grow the current location?
Well, I think I'm still trying to figure that out.
You know, it's, for me, I felt that it was the right thing because it gave other people
opportunities in our store and it focuses me on developing people versus just doing, right?
Yeah.
And we talked about it.
I mean, our store, we bought it in 2019.
So we're relatively new and we keep growing it and I do want to expand and our people
want to expand, but we want to do it at the right time for the right reasons too.
Are you bored?
I want to go too fast.
I'm not bored at all.
I mean, we're in the process of renovation and expansion at the dealership.
I think he's a little bored.
A little bored?
I mean, there's some boredom.
Here's the problem, right?
I call it the marginal utility of every extra dollar.
You are at a phase.
I don't know anything about your bank account or your net worth or any of that,
but I know enough to know that you're at a phase likely where the marginal utility of
every extra dollar is probably not very meaningful.
It's like, will running and gunning for another store really change your life today
or will it just take more time away from what you're currently doing?
Versus, of course, opening another 10 stores, that might change your life to some extent,
but it also changed the way you spend your time.
I've learned a long time ago at this point in time that money doesn't make you happy.
It's just, for me, I do like accomplishing things.
I like the challenge of things.
So I miss the thrill of that, but it's more strategic now.
And it's more the things I'm working on are 3456 months away.
So it doesn't, you don't get that daily throws much.
I miss that, but I'm working on it.
I mean, you like it when they call at the end the day we sold 30 cars.
Yeah, I know.
I love those moments.
They're still fun to him.
Absolutely killing it.
And it's a lot of things that we've been working on for the last two or three years.
So it's like a slow gratification, which I miss the instant gratification.
Yeah, it's crazy because I think about transition.
It's going from a GM to an owner.
And that was hard for me.
That was really hard for me.
I think every level that you climb has its unique challenges.
And this is kind of mine.
You don't have that daily like dopamine hit.
Correct.
Isn't it crazy that like humans are just chasing a feeling?
Think about this for a second.
That's it.
Like anything.
Yeah.
You know, whatever it is, like social media, it's a dopamine hit.
I want to make an impact.
I want to do something good for my family.
Because it feels good.
Our company.
I think all successful men are going to be like that.
They're always looking for the next thing.
Also not successful.
You're going to chase a feeling maybe through like drugs or I don't know.
Like self-sabotaging things.
Yeah, but especially if you're a successful man that's built something,
you're definitely going to always be thinking like what can I do next?
Always.
What can I do next?
I have to.
I mean, I'm in a position that people underneath me depend on me to make good
decisions that we are going for.
We're not going to attract good people if we're not growing.
So yeah, all those things are good pressure.
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What do you think is the solution for that?
Just keep going.
Keep building.
Yeah, just keep building.
We're hitting a diminishing return.
You know, we need more service space right now.
I can't snap my fingers and get them.
That's the worst.
So it's anything to do with real estate.
Good problem, isn't it?
That's the problem that occurs every few years.
Every couple of levels.
Yeah, you almost push to cause these problems,
which then forces you to find the solution.
I always say break the machine.
Like let's just break it.
Let's just break it and then we'll figure it out.
So what are you doing?
Are you expanding service or expanding?
I mean, do you have space?
We do.
We have space.
That's good.
I mean, we were going to move to a whole new location.
We talked about this last summer here, but, you know,
our store is very unique and it's forced us to become very efficient and good
because of the obstacles that it presented.
But we're now in a good spot that organically, like, you know,
we're doing it for the right reasons, not because we're mandated to do it.
That's good.
It's going to pay off.
What do you think in terms of just like, I don't call misconceptions,
but let's flip it like that.
How to work positively together to create the most impact,
to have the best running business and, you know, family life.
What do you think have just been some keys to your success?
I think for me it's common goals, you know, alignment.
Like when we want the same things and we're working together as a team,
you know, great things happen and it's the same thing in business.
You know, when you align your team with the organizational goals
and you tie them in somehow and it's like, hey, let's all win together.
That's when the magic happens.
How do you guys align?
Like, what's your, is it just like a five minute conversation
before going to sleep at night?
Or is it like I, like some people, people do like this.
Absolutely not.
By the way, we're even together.
Or is it like yelling at each other?
We've been together a long time.
At least we don't talk all day.
Okay. Like it is what it is now.
I mean, like.
No, because some people like, you know,
legit do like family meetings that are family office.
No, I'm not saying that's just.
I don't know where you are, but like what's the.
Kelly's a go with the flow kind of thing.
I know that.
And I'm more, I'd like the plan.
I don't like talking about serious stuff most of the time.
I usually sweep it under the rug until I just can't anymore.
You know, it's so like, no, but seriously, I think just like.
I think as a man, you just, you're guessing a lot as a husband.
Like, how did she.
Especially at this period in life, you know.
Why can't you just tell me what you want, you know.
Well, because I don't know what I want either.
She doesn't know what she wants after time.
So how do you guys figure that out?
If I want you shoes or a handbag or something,
I know I know what that, but besides that, you know.
She kind of lets the majority of that up to me at this point in time.
And honestly, she's always, she's always had the faith
and belief in me, which is like.
And that's been huge.
I've always believed in Rob always.
There's, I've never had a doubt.
There, by the way.
I've never had a doubt that he wouldn't take care of us,
me and our children.
I never, ever doubted it.
If the man even now had to work 80 hours a week, he would do it.
But you see, that's the, this is the thing that I think a lot of people miss.
A friend asked me the other day, he said, Hey,
former company, right?
When you were closing that down, he said, um, did,
and then I told him I was tweeting all day.
It's how I started the media company.
I was tweeting literally all day.
He's like, Oh, he's like, your, he's like,
your wife probably gave you a lot of shit.
I was like, actually, no, she's like, she believed in it
because she, she knew me and she's like, like,
fucking a traction.
You were, oh yeah.
By the way, no, there was no money coming in or anything.
It was literally like creating content all day.
You could say I'm wasting time.
But like she, so the point is like, it's
way understate at how important that is.
Cause you, if you don't, it takes true to tango.
Like you don't support whoever it is.
You're not going to be able to get far.
Especially I believe in a, you know, in, in family life,
like one plus one equals 10.
Cause you know, I see, I mean, you see examples out there where
the couple is not aligned and it comes at the expense of something.
Yeah.
It's hard.
It's hard for everyone, but yeah.
No, I think her having that belief in me
has always given me the confidence to do what I need to do.
And it driving force.
Yeah.
You know, it's sort of.
I'm never worried about it.
It's just like, I've never taken that for granted and it's always,
it gets me up early every day.
As, as one of my friends says, um, you know, when we got married,
he's like, and then, and then she had the credit card
and she just swiped and it just worked.
Well, it's like he said, I, we saw this one,
another podcast where some guy said something like, well,
if, what is it?
Like if my wife can out, like out, spend more money
than like I can afford for her, then I need to make more money.
And not that, not that money is everything because it really isn't,
but I will say like starting out and having nothing
and now having something is really great.
And it's not, it's not about the material things necessarily.
It's about the freedom that it can get you.
We had our oldest daughter at one point was very, very sick
with Lyme disease.
We had to get special treatments for her and
the freedom to be able to do that is huge.
The freedom to say, I want to go see my daughter in PA
and I'm going to book a ticket for tomorrow and do that is,
is important, is important to us.
Without asking.
You know, without, without having to be like, well, gosh,
you know, that's our grocery money for next week.
You know, it's not, it's not always about the material things.
It's more about the accessibility to be able to help others
and to be able to help ourselves or pick up and say,
I'm going to help my oldest daughter in PA this weekend.
I say this all the time at the dealership and you know,
I think there's a negative stigma with making money
and it's not about the money.
It's what you can do with it.
Of course.
Like, oh, you're so materialistic.
You know, I think if you tie in those to the money,
unfortunately, you need it.
You need it.
Of course.
And yeah, anything material, like it gets, you know,
I think the psychologically, they say like 30 days
or something like 25 days, like you buy a new car, right?
The excitement, all the, like it wears off.
It wears off.
Yeah.
It's, it's, it's dumb.
It's, it's a hamster wheel.
So you met, you were a stay at home mom.
You raised your kids, of course, supported Rob.
Rob, you built the business and you grew that.
How do you want your kids?
Like, what do you, what would you wish for them?
You have a boy and girls, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have two girls and a boy.
One son, two girls.
Yep.
So let's, let's start with like the girls, right?
Yeah.
Like, what do you wish for them?
I do, are they, hey, I'm going to college.
I want to be a doctor, which is super admirable,
but obviously that's a very different lifestyle.
Or like, what do you wish for them?
So our oldest daughter, our oldest daughter graduated
from college already.
Obviously she's 29.
And then she actually went and worked right at the store,
right afterwards.
So she's kind of in, she's engaged,
they're getting married next year,
but this year, this November, sorry.
So her role is very different than what my role was at her age.
And we've had a lot of conversations about it, just,
I think deep down in her heart,
she really would love to be a stay at home mom.
They're just not where they need to be at this point right now
to be able to do that.
And I think I've had to coach her through like,
because she's, and I feel a lot of guilt about it.
Like, listen, being a mother isn't just staying home
with your kids.
If you can do that, that's amazing.
That's what I got to do.
But being a good mom also means you have bills
that you have to take care of if you need to pitch in
and that's what you need to do.
And then our middle daughter, she's,
I'm not really, she's going to be a sophomore in college.
I'm not sure what she really wants to do.
This is another luxury of kind of making it in life,
is that we've saved forever for our kids to go to college
and we think it's a great experience for them
to kind of figure out what they want to do.
You don't have to decide it, who knows at 18
what they want to do, but it gives them...
College might not even be the route to get to what they want.
It gives them those four years to kind of emotionally mature
and kind of figure out what it is they want to do.
Our youngest son would love to start a business at some point,
but he's not emotionally mature enough at this point
to even know kind of where to start.
Does he work with you?
He, no, he's actually selling insurance down here.
Oh, down here?
He needs some time though.
How old is he?
He's 18.
He just graduated high school.
Why doesn't he work with you?
Well, he doesn't want to go to Pennsylvania.
I mean, he's fallen in love with South Florida.
He never wants to leave South Florida ever.
That's a good reason.
You know, and I think for us moving here,
coming from a small town where everybody knows who you are
and your kids almost get labeled,
oh, you're the car dealer's kid.
So for me, I thought I was providing our kids
in an environment where nobody knows you.
And here, I mean, this is a very, a fluid area.
They're just average.
So I think he sees that as a man
and knows that he's going to have to put the time and the work in.
I see it.
You're saying that like positively.
In a very positive way.
In a very positive way.
Yeah, you're no one here.
You're a girl flying the wire.
No, he's nobody here.
And I think it's really good for him
to recognize the work that needs to be put in.
And you know, all of his friends,
I mean, there's a lot of great men and women and families
that he's gotten to know that are very successful.
So I think it's, he sees what he has to do.
And I'm seeing that in him right now.
Yeah.
What about your daughter's fiance?
Is he in the business?
Yeah, he works at the store.
He works at the store.
They both work at the store.
Yeah, manager at the store.
Interesting sometimes.
It's family business.
Sounds all right.
Okay, so they're in Pennsylvania.
How do you structure family in the business?
Is it like they report to someone else?
You're not involved?
Oh, no, I don't want any direct reports.
Yeah, it's something for them.
And we've kind of made a role.
Like they can't talk to me about it either really,
because I don't want to hear about it.
Late to them because I know what it's like.
You walk into it, you're in an environment
and you're labeled, you're on stage all the time.
And there's only one way, and I tell them all the time,
there's only one way to take an offensive approach to that
is just, you just got to win.
You just got to, you got to prove yourself.
Let it feel your, it's feel you.
If you let that drive you, I think it can make you really great.
I think they'll figure it out.
So you grew up obviously in a different type of childhood
than your kids are experienced completely.
Completely, both of us, very, very, very different.
You are facing, and many do, like it's, especially today,
when there's just so much wealth that's been generated
in the last five years, decade, 20 years,
whatever you want to call it.
But you have a different type of challenge,
which you have to think about, how do you give to your kids?
How do you give without spoiling?
Your kids are not super young.
I mean, they're still young by all measures,
but they're in college.
But how do you, like your daughter, her fiance works at the store?
She wants to maybe be a stay-at-home mom.
You probably know that.
But like, where, how do you draw the line?
Like, where's that bound?
Do you let her fight it out for five years or three years?
Is it arbitrary?
How do you actually give without taking away from the challenge,
which we, I would assume, all want our kids to kind of fight to an experience of wealth?
I think kids will appreciate things when they are in them, themselves.
I mean, I'm, I know my father, nothing was handed to me.
And that made me, that made me great.
Her dad's the same way, you know?
Would have I liked things differently?
Absolutely.
And I think you would feel the same way.
We do struggle with this sometimes.
It's hard.
It's hard.
It definitely isn't.
When you, I mean, like, our parents didn't have,
just because they didn't have it to give it.
Exactly.
They didn't have it to give it.
So they don't have to make that decision.
So there was no decision to be made.
But like, for us, we have it.
So, I mean, not endlessly.
I think it's a constant balancing act.
You know, I don't think that there's a, a black or white answer to that.
I think it's just, you just kind it all for them.
Right.
Yes.
College funds.
We're taking care of college.
You can extend this college for years.
They had to pay for college themselves and take loans out.
I would probably say it's probably not the right thing for you.
Yeah.
I would, I would tell them not to go to college.
And a lot, and I think there's avenues that young kids can go that can be
just as successful or more without going to college.
What about like house, car?
I mean, we, we helped our daughter with the house.
Yeah.
I mean, she pays with mortgage.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not, you know, just, I mean, there's things we can do to give them a
little bit of a save up for a down payment in the current.
Yeah.
I mean, it's, it's not easy.
And then we'll do the same for the other two kids too.
You know, we want to give them a leg up, but we don't want to just hand it to them.
Hand it to them.
You know, we want to just give them a little head start, a little push, a little.
Of course.
Yeah.
You know, these are.
Yeah.
I've talked to many, we all struggle with this because we're all, this generation is
more successful than the previous one where we grew up.
And now it's like, man, we were victims of our own success sometimes because it can create
entitlement and we don't want to create that because I think that's what's made like our
generation great is not having that and having to fight for it.
But their experience has been completely different than ours really growing up.
I mean, just, I mean, I never, I never stayed at a Ritz Carlton when I was a kid.
You know what I mean?
I never, I never got to do that types of things.
It's going to, it's going to drive you that you're going to want.
You're not going to want to go backwards in life.
Yeah.
So I think that there's a little added pressure on them for that as well.
You think so?
I do.
Yeah, I do.
I agree with that because they want it.
I'm sure they both want to be all of them.
And this isn't just for my callback.
This is just, no, this is generational we're talking here.
And you see how deep that's evolution.
Yeah.
I mean, my kids are younger.
Yeah.
But they, yeah, I think about it.
I think about it all right because it's a lot.
It's, it's a slippery slope.
Yeah.
You know, like the other day, they wanted to buy something.
And this is the first time I've done this.
My oldest daughter is five and a half.
So I told her, all right.
I said, well, let's go make some money.
Yeah.
I think so.
What do we do?
We went to do a lemonade stand.
Yeah.
She made like, I think she made 70 bucks.
Yeah.
Like legit seven.
I was, I was like, like franchise.
Yeah, exactly.
So you know what I told her?
Because of my drone buy.
I'd be like, here's $20.
That's exactly what happened, by the way.
That's exactly what happened.
So cute.
Yeah, this is society.
Right.
So I told her, I was like,
let's only get organic lemons.
Yeah.
Which we did.
And then we got the lemonade.
And I told her, sweeten it with raw honey.
The one from Costco.
So we wrote like, or not, we didn't write organic.
We wrote natural, whatever.
But we put out with sweetened with raw honey.
I love that.
And it's like, oh yeah.
It's so funny.
Adorable.
All right.
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Let me tell you, here's a funny observation.
But from all the customers that stopped to buy lemonade,
it was either super nice car or super ugly beat-up car.
Yeah.
It's interesting human nature, dynamics.
Yeah, just a little behavioral experiment
where it was only people who almost didn't care,
or the ones that don't have anything.
And then you're like, maybe this is why.
Because they just give, give you.
Just funny, I didn't notice that.
Yeah.
Like some, some, some, you know,
and I say this respectfully, some broken people stopped by.
I was like, wow, just like working your car first.
See, that would like restore my faith in humanity a little bit.
Like this person that doesn't have a lot,
is still stopping at my daughter's lemonade stand.
And like we make all the jokes about South Florida,
but there really are great people down here.
You know, hear the horror stories about South Florida,
just that there's, you know, everyone's stuck up and snobby.
And it's really not like that.
There are really great people down here,
but that kind of restores my faith in humanity.
What do you think about the, the business and like the future?
Would you, you said your, your, your daughter's fiance works in it.
Do you believe in the future of the dealership?
Do they like concern you?
Like succession kind of?
Yeah.
Like the dealership business in general.
Like do you believe that?
Challenging.
That's kind of always been my claim to fame.
We can't keep doing things the way we've always done them,
because we've always done them that way.
I mean, I, things are evolving.
I see it clearly.
Stagnancy is what scares me of just not changing and adapting
because of what you're saying,
because I think that those dealers are going to get left behind
and they already are.
What do you think is the risk though, like in your perspective?
And you're, you're very heavy used cars.
So you're, you have some level of insulation there.
That's what I try to teach you.
We need to focus on the things we can control.
And I think you can be successful
and we don't have to sell new cars to be profitable.
So for me, I, I eliminate those risks by focusing on the areas
that we have more control, but the things we don't have control
does, it's, it's concerning.
It's always concerning.
Yeah.
Do you focus on in terms of investments, other industries,
anything else, or is it just like automotive?
So when we got here, you know, we got into Airbnb's.
So our first home that we bought here was our second home.
But then when we decided to move here,
it just wasn't the house we wanted to live in.
It was more of a vacation home.
So we Airbnb'd that.
And then it was pretty successful.
So then we, and you self-managed it?
No, no, I have a good friend of mine
was in management of an Airbnb at the time here.
I was going to say you're, you're brave if you did that.
No, no, we didn't want to, I didn't want,
I didn't want any, any responsibility like that.
So you did some short, so we bought four more homes.
Well, in a short period of time.
Okay.
From 20 to 2021 to 23, I think we bought four homes.
And then we've actually sold four homes since then too.
The taxes and insurance.
Yeah, everything just got, I mean,
we were cash flowing.
Then all of a sudden it's like our taxes doubled, tripled,
insurance went up.
So the cash flow was breaking even.
I'm like, you know what, let's get out.
We made some cash in the cash and that was it.
Yeah, yeah.
So now we just have the one house still.
Yeah, wow.
So if like, if we could go back now 24 years or so,
and I think that was the amount of time
you've been married 24 years, right?
My numbers are correct.
What advice would you want to tell your younger self?
I'm really curious.
Like, what have you learned?
How do you sum it up?
What's the through line?
Well, I think for me, I recognize the pressure I put on her
by coming home every day and telling her all the things that
happen at work and just kind of like vomiting a bunch of
bullshit on her that I shouldn't have.
And my older self would say, you know what,
keep that to yourself.
Don't put any more pressure on her.
There's enough already.
And I think she handled it great, but I easily can see that.
Today, I don't even talk.
I mean, I rarely talk about the bit.
I tell her the wins and that's about it.
You know.
Yeah.
And when things go on, right?
I don't know.
Like, I was trying to think while he was talking.
I mean, I think what I've learned through our marriage
is that I married the right guy.
You married right.
I married right.
And I think that's super important
if you want to have a successful marriage.
I think the man is the leader in any relationship and any
marriage and he kind of sets the tone because, you know,
us as women were very emotional.
And, you know, every every other week we're up and down
and we're all over the place.
So I think I think marrying well is super important.
And I think I did.
I don't I don't know.
Like I don't have any great marriage advice to say.
But I think if you are a younger woman looking to get married,
I think it is super important to be with a man whose emotions are
pretty, you know, steady and the same.
I don't think men should be overly emotional.
I don't think they should be moody.
I think they should be ambitious and driven and would scrub a
toilet for you if they had to to pay your bills.
Like that's just how I was raised.
That's just what I think.
And I think we've gotten really far off the road of that
and kind of like making masculinity a little sound very toxic and it's not.
Masculinity isn't fighting people and all those things.
It's just taking care of your family.
And I think that's super, super important.
And tread, tread, like I think for me, I think most successful men
that are more traditional thinking would say like the biggest flex for them
is that their wife can stay home and raise their children.
And like, I think that's, you know, what most men want.
It might take some time to get there.
I think that's what they want.
I think real, you know, really, I don't want to say real men,
but I want to say men that really want to have a family and have a wife
and be a good husband at least are saying like,
I'd love to be able to do that at some point.
It was all problems.
Amazing.
Wow.
This was the first for the Cardio Show Guy podcast.
So when she was still, we weren't married yet,
she worked in the business a little bit.
It was kind of like an even quick help.
And I was like, yeah, well, she can help out.
And we're like, yeah, this, this is not, this doesn't make sense.
This isn't working for us.
Yeah.
I'm, you know, I'm very like objective, like, you know, I don't kind of sense.
I like, yeah, I like to like get to the conflict right away.
I'm like, this is, this is, you know, there's way higher and better uses here
for us.
And, you know, we agree.
Yeah.
But, you know, she helped out in that way just like very briefly.
And by the way, she did it because she wanted to support
and she knew I needed help in that moment.
And, you know, when someone quits on you suddenly and like,
you literally need a body to help you out and who do you trust?
And you're like, I know she's competent.
Yeah.
So that's, but yeah, it's, it changed a lot.
It's a, you know, she'd been like, we've had literally four kids in the last six years.
And so.
All of you guys been married?
Six years.
Six years.
Six kids?
Six years.
We've been together for 10.
But I think the point being there is like, it's,
I think people are sometimes surprised or they're like, oh, like, how do you do it?
And like build a business and no one's perfect.
I'm learning every day.
But what I do know is that we are like, we kind of know our lanes, you know, like,
she knows what she's doing.
I know what I'm doing.
Of course, there's some stuff that we both contribute on.
But that, that makes it very when, when each side kind of knows, like, you know, it's very,
it's not vague.
The roles are distinct.
Yeah.
Exactly.
The roles are kind of fuzzy.
It gets a little tougher because, you know, if you, as a husband or a wife, whatever,
have to both work and take care of the kids and do this.
And it becomes really challenging.
No wonder you can't, you can't do it all.
But if you know that, you know, you have someone who's holding a fort down here
and someone is doing it there.
And then there's, you know, the middle where teamwork, where they over exactly teamwork.
It's actually very doable.
Just like anything, right?
Like it's having the right people doing the right things, even in a relationship.
It absolutely is.
So they're so similar.
Yeah.
Right.
It's crazy.
Amazing.
Rob and Kelly Ruth on the podcast.
This was incredible.
Thank you so much for coming on.
That was really nice meeting you.
All right.
Hope you enjoyed that episode.
Please give the podcast a rating.
Consider subscribing to the show and check the show notes for links to the sponsors
of today's episode, Digital Dealer, Experian and CDG Platform.
Thanks for tuning in and I'll see you guys next time.
Bye.
About this episode
A husband-and-wife dealership team breaks down why dealership couples often struggle and what separates the best ones. They compare “engaged” vs non-engaged spouse dynamics, talk about work-life boundaries (including shutting the office door), and stress the role of clear lanes, common goals, and delegation as the business grows. They also connect relationship strain to retail pressure and long hours, then zoom out to industry change—adapting or getting left behind.
Original notes
Today I'm joined by Husband and Wife, Kelly and Rob Ruth of Bob Ruth Ford.
Married 24 years, Rob and Kelley built the dealership together while he worked bell-to-bell, 78-hour weeks, and she ran the household solo, raising their kids largely on her own.
Kelley reveals the role she played long before it had a title, shaping personnel decisions from behind the scenes and backing Rob's zero-revenue media bet on nothing but belief before any money came in.
Topics:
05:45 Why Growth Meant Letting Go.
07:20 The Two-Year Transition.
08:40 The Unseen Spouse Impact.
17:30 The Mortgage Rate That Changed Everything.
19:00 The Dopamine Hit Every GM Chases.
28:50 Giving Without Spoiling.
This episode is brought to you by:
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2. Experian Automotive - Experian's Fraud Protect solution helps dealers identify potential fraud risks earlier in the sales process by leveraging advanced data, analytics, and identity verification tools. Visit @ here.
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