178. The Pile Up: Road Trips!
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Car
Volkswagen Rabbit
A VW Rabbit is a small Volkswagen car from earlier decades. Here it’s just the car someone rode in on a road trip.
Car
trans am
A Trans Am is a classic Pontiac muscle car. The host is saying they’d like to drive one across the country.
Car
Chevrolet Corvette
A Corvette is a high-performance sports car from Chevrolet. In this story, it’s the car the speaker mentions driving in hot desert conditions without overheating.
Term
overheat
Overheating is when the engine gets too hot. The speaker is saying their car stays cool enough that it doesn’t overheat even in harsh conditions.
Term
idling in traffic
Idling in traffic means the car is basically stopped and running. That can make the engine run hotter because there’s less airflow to cool it down.
Part
Aftermarket radiator
The radiator helps keep the engine from getting too hot. An aftermarket radiator is a replacement part made to cool better, and the speaker says theirs helps prevent overheating.
Concept
air-conditioned desert driving vs no AC
They’re comparing driving in the desert with modern comfort features versus older cars without AC. The key takeaway is that extreme heat can cause fuel problems in older vehicles, not just make the cabin uncomfortable.
Term
vapor lock
Vapor lock is when the fuel gets so hot that it turns into vapor in the fuel line. Since vapor doesn’t feed the engine like liquid fuel does, the car can run poorly or even stall until things cool down.
Term
fuel line
A fuel line is the path that fuel travels through to get to the engine. If it gets too hot, it can make the fuel boil and cause starting or running problems.
Term
fiberglass
Fiberglass is a heat-insulating material. Wrapping the fuel line with it helps keep the fuel from getting as hot, which can reduce the chance of vapor lock.
Topic
gas station coffee on road trips
They’re just sharing a road-trip habit—stopping at gas stations for coffee. It’s more about the trip experience than car mechanics.
Term
transmission
The transmission is what lets the engine’s power get to the wheels through different gear ratios. They’re saying theirs was failing badly during the trip.
Term
rear brake line
The rear brake line is the tube that sends brake fluid to the back brakes. If it breaks, the back brakes can stop working, so braking becomes less effective and you have to be careful.
Term
five-speed
A five-speed means the transmission has five forward gears. They’re mentioning it because the car’s drivetrain was acting up and the driving conditions were rough.
Term
rear end
“Rear end” usually means the back axle area of the car. They’re saying they checked the fluids there too, because the car was getting rough and they wanted to avoid further damage.
Term
bucking
“Bucking” means the vehicle jerks or stutters while you’re driving. It feels like the power is coming and going. In their story, it’s happening because the engine isn’t getting fuel smoothly.
Term
heat is the enemy
They’re saying heat makes the problem worse. When things get too hot, the car can start acting up. Letting it cool down helps it work normally again.
Term
diesel engine
A diesel engine is a type of engine that runs on diesel fuel and ignites fuel using compression. Truck stops cater to diesel vehicles a lot. They’re saying diesel fueling can come with rewards like a free shower.
Concept
road trip pro tip
They’re sharing practical advice for road trips—especially how to be ready for weather changes and unexpected delays. The goal is to stay safe and comfortable if things go wrong.
Term
air compressor
An air compressor is a machine that makes air pressure. If it breaks or seizes, the vehicle may not be able to run certain systems, which can leave you stuck.
Term
AC compressor
The AC compressor is what powers the car’s air conditioning. If it seizes, the AC can stop working and the car may have trouble continuing normally.
Term
pulley
A pulley is a small wheel that a belt runs over to transfer motion. If it seizes, the belt drive can jam and cause the car to break down.
Concept
road-trip breakdown preparedness
They’re talking about being ready for car trouble on long drives. The idea is to pack common failure parts and key supplies so you can handle problems without waiting for help.
Term
fuel pump
A fuel pump is what sends gas (or diesel) from the tank to the engine. If it breaks, the car may not start, so having a spare helps you get going again.
Term
alternator
The alternator keeps the battery charged and runs the car’s electronics. If it fails, the battery can’t keep everything going and the car may die.
Term
belts
Belts are the rubber/serpentine straps that spin important parts of the engine. If one breaks, the car can overheat or lose charging.
Term
spark plug wire
Spark plug wires send the electrical spark to the spark plugs. If one goes bad, the engine can start running poorly or not start at all.
Term
radiator hoses
Radiator hoses move coolant to help cool the engine. If a hose leaks or bursts, the car can overheat, so spare hoses can save a trip.
Term
water pump
The water pump moves coolant around the engine to keep it from overheating. If it stops working, the engine temperature can spike quickly.
Term
antifreeze
Antifreeze is the coolant fluid that helps your engine stay at the right temperature. It’s not safe to drink—so you should keep it clearly separate from drinking water.
Car
Dodge Neon
The Dodge Neon is a small, older car from Dodge. It was made for regular commuting and was usually priced to be affordable. The podcast mention sounds like it’s part of a nostalgia story about older vehicles and signs.
Car
Jeep Cherokee
The Jeep Cherokee is an SUV made by Jeep. It’s designed for everyday driving but can also handle rougher roads better than many smaller cars. In the podcast, the word “Cherokee” may be referring to a location tied to an event.
Term
ran hot
“Ran hot” means the engine got hotter than it should. If that happens on a long trip, it can be a sign something in the cooling system isn’t working right.
Term
230 degrees
They’re saying the engine was around 230 degrees for the whole drive. That’s usually hotter than normal, and it can be risky for the engine if it keeps happening.
Term
mileage
Here, “mileage” means how efficiently the van uses gas. They’re basically debating whether saving a little fuel is worth the tradeoff in comfort.
Term
carburetor
A carburetor mixes fuel and air before it enters the engine. Compared with fuel injection, carburetors can be less precise across different temperatures and driving conditions, which is one reason older setups often struggle to achieve modern fuel-economy numbers.
Term
open filter
An “open filter” usually means an intake setup that draws air from a less-restricted, more exposed location rather than a sealed, heat-managed box. That can affect intake-air temperature and airflow, which in turn can change how efficiently the engine runs and how much fuel it uses.
Term
ram air
“Ram air” is when the car uses forward motion to push more air into the engine’s intake. It can help performance, but it doesn’t always translate to big fuel-economy gains.
Term
throttle body
The throttle body is the air-control valve for the engine. With fuel injection, it helps the computer deliver the right amount of fuel for efficient driving.
Term
TBI
TBI means throttle-body fuel injection. It’s a more modern way of getting fuel into the engine than a carburetor, and that can help with gas mileage.
Term
fuel injection
Fuel injection is how the engine computer sprays gas in a controlled way. Because it’s more precise than a carburetor, it can improve fuel economy.
Term
AC
AC is the car’s air conditioning. It cools the cabin, and without it the host tried using the windows to stay comfortable in hot weather.
Car
Cadillac Fleetwood
The Cadillac Fleetwood is a large, luxury car made by Cadillac. It’s known for being comfortable and more “formal” than a typical everyday sedan. The podcast mention likely uses the name as part of a reference to Fleetwood Mac.
Car
Renault Wind
The Renault Wind is a small convertible made by Renault. It’s meant for open-air driving, usually with two seats. Because it’s a convertible, you can expect more wind noise than in a normal closed car.
Term
wind noise
Wind noise is the annoying sound you hear when air rushes around gaps in the van. It’s common on vans near the front corners if the seals or gaps aren’t tight.
Car
Byd Seal
The BYD Seal is an electric car made by BYD. It runs on electricity instead of gasoline. In the podcast, it sounds like it’s being mentioned as a name in a joke or wordplay.
Term
sound editing material
“Sound editing material” here refers to aftermarket insulation and acoustic damping used to reduce cabin noise. In practice, people add layers to doors, panels, and the floor to cut vibration and block outside sound.
Term
door seals
Door seals are the rubber strips that help keep air from leaking in around the doors. If they’re not there, the van can get louder and drafty.
Term
door gap
A door gap is the small space where the door meets the van. If air can get through there, it can make the van louder and less comfortable.
Concept
Power Tour
Power Tour is a big road-trip style car event where people drive their cars to different stops and show them. It’s more about driving than just parking and looking.
Term
black top
A black roof gets hotter in the sun than a lighter one. That extra heat makes it tougher to keep the van cool inside.
Term
sun visor
A sun visor blocks sunlight so the cabin doesn’t heat up as fast. Less sun on the interior usually means it’s easier to keep the van cool.
Term
swamp coolers
A swamp cooler is a fan-and-water cooling setup that cools air by evaporating water. It works best in dry weather, and it’s not the same as regular AC.
Term
heat soaking
Heat soaking means the engine bay gets so hot that nearby parts absorb the heat and keep it. So even if you slow down or stop, the heat doesn’t disappear right away.
Term
electric fans
Electric fans are fans that run off the car’s power to cool the engine. They’re especially useful when you’re not moving fast enough for natural airflow to do the job.
Term
heat rises to the top
Hot air naturally rises. If the engine bay doesn’t vent well, the hottest air can collect near the top and cooling becomes harder.
Car
Hyundai Kona
The Kona is a small SUV from Hyundai. An electric Kona runs on a battery and an electric motor, not gas.
Topic
road trip around willow springs
They’re talking about a road trip that goes around Willow Springs. It’s a famous place for car racing in California.
Term
high fructose corn syrup
High fructose corn syrup is a type of sweetener found in many packaged foods. It’s added to make snacks taste sweeter and last longer.
Car
Porsche Cayenne
The Porsche Cayenne is a luxury SUV made by Porsche. It’s built to feel sporty and quick, not just comfortable. People talk about it because it’s a high-end SUV with performance features.
LIVE
I
Damn we're getting so good at that. Mmm. So good. So good
So good, so good. It's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday. We're here with you midweek hump day
Mm-hmm. You're here with the pile up
The pile up the show the records twice and only releases once
Ah
Guys we biffed it we did. Oh my biffed it. Oh my we recorded for two hours
It's seen yep, it was one minute one hour fifty-five minutes
And at the end I said I am so sorry
Just like dr. Who when his companion dies. Yeah, I am so
So sorry
Emily's gain level on her microphone was at two and it turns out to is not enough to hear at all
I turned the gain up to 40 and pro tools and it was just me like it
And real crackly hmm and then Emily tried to convince me that audio from the video might be good
You know which I thought was okay, but I got vetoed by Rose the episode was I think really good
I
Didn't want to put out a low quality
Because I thought people would be like annoyed at what it sounds like. Yeah, I disagreed
Why don't you guys if you have any?
Have any opinions yeah pop into my DMs
But yeah, this is this is the knockoff episode if you want to hear the original you can join our band camp and get
That's just the raw video footage, but anyway, we you know, I I did what rose when it comes to a quality thing
I buckled in my decision because
Rose is very much into sound and music and I just deferred to her she got the last
Say no actually I'm into the sound of music. She is the queen of the bands
Yeah, well the the audio for your ears
It is for your ears only that we record this and I want the audio to be good
Even though the content I thought was superb. We freaking biffed it. Yeah, we did so
Well, the thing is that is what we're recording with the phones. They're they're halfway across the room from us
So yeah, but they pick it up pretty good. It's not a good enough signal in my opinion
Yeah, so Emily has as bearing with it and we're actually in here on a true Friday
We typically record on Tuesday
but we
We got it wrong. Yeah, we had to re-record we freaking got it wrong when Rose was working with Rizzo on the car on Thursday
That was a Wednesday. Oh, what was a Wednesday? Yeah, I came down a super vice Thursday. I went to van night. Oh my god
What a disaster nobody from the club was there
It became my van night. It's my van night now. I'm gonna start putting out a flyer
And then and then they're gonna be cramping my van night. How many other vans were there too? Wow
But I want to tell there was a lifted astro and I did take a picture of it and they sort of like I
Think they might have been there with Max the guy with the orange van
I like why didn't they put their van in the parking with the other I don't know
I think I don't know. Maybe they didn't think they were welcome or something, but
I totally was like cool lifted second gen astro. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah
Yeah, maybe they just like like thought we were too low-brow
These people came up to us and they were like, oh, I've never met kidnappers before and
Ben the guy that I had just met from Seattle was like we're not kidnappers and then he was like actually if you want to hear a
Story, I was kidnapped once. Oh, was he really? Yes. It was a joke. Yes, and I just overheard it because I was talking to Aaron
And he was talking about like he was like they kept hitting me in the back of the head with the gun
But I couldn't hear what they were saying. I was like, man, that story sounds terrible. Oh my god. Yeah, but I didn't hear
Okay, well, he survived because he was there scary stuff. Yeah, I wonder if those people had a van
Yeah, well, it's one of those things where it's like, you know, you shouldn't say dumb shit to people
Yeah, well, that's always like
That's the thing with vans. Oh, do you have any candy? Oh, yeah, are you you don't know what people have lived through?
Yeah, fuck off. Well, and also it's like has nobody ever said that to somebody with a van before
Oh my god, like come up with something original. Well, we were talking about I
Think that that same person later said to Brandon about his dodge
It's like so like the 18 van and said that we got on like a mystery machine 18 van thing and I was talking about when I
Was working for my friend's bike shop in Louisville
And I had to do a delivery from their bike shop to this other that was like a cycle cafe
Uh-huh and this guy was having lunch and I pulled up in my 85 Chevy with visor spoiler flares wing
And the guy's like kind of looks like the 18 van and I like excoriated this guy
I mean I just like tore into him why it wasn't the 18 van
And then he was just kind of like at the end of this a diatribe of mine. He just was like, well, that's just the only van
I know
Now who's being a snob? Yeah, I was learned an important lesson that day
I was like, it's just being nice like yeah regular guys just being nice
You know, I was like living the epitome of that meme that's like we're artists were sensitive as shit
Yeah, he was just trying to like talk to you have a conversation with you because he thought your van was cool
Yeah, and then you had to be a total asshole. Yeah, I was a total twat. Did you tell him that you were sorry? No
Did you feel bad? No, I probably doubled down or something. Oh my god. I think I was just like, oh, yeah, you're right
Like I don't know. I it's been a long time ago. Yeah, but I I mean immediately was like
So now that guy's gonna think every banner is a big B
He's not wrong. Mm-hmm. Okay demographic checks out
Alright, I didn't know that everybody seems pretty nice to me. You're wrong. Oh, all right. Hey, you're wrong
That's fine. I was I was wrong about the recording sound. I'm wrong about vanners being nice
You used to what else can I be wrong about this episode? I did give I did make sure that both of them got the flyers for
rdvcs camp out
Mm-hmm. Oh you have physical flyers. No, I just like send it to them afterwards digitally on the internet. Yeah, dig it all
Yeah
Yeah, one of the band vans band vans one of the vans came they came from Seattle
Yeah, not necessarily for van night, but they were on their way to Bend and they knew about it
They probably planned their trip maybe around it. They did come for for a van night. Oh, okay
They were going to Bend
the it was been an Abbey and been as a BMXer and
We knew some of the same people and he was like yeah
I'm going down to rip some spots in Bend and we wanted to hit van night first
And so they had an Airbnb right by van night. Yeah, so they made a special trip
And then it was they had hung with the club before then it was three people
Yep, and the yep. We were like well, this is it. This is van night Rizzo was off buying a motorcycle and doll was
Probably enjoying the scenes of home. Yeah, nice excuse both of them Brandon showed up and Aaron showed up
But they were not it with their bands. Yeah
Aaron Irish goodbye, but Brandon and I we closed the place down
Yeah, you were there late you said 10 30
For a school night that was pretty late. Yeah, I'm very late for you. Yeah, I'm very late for the 430 wake-up five
Yeah, geez
Yeah, so listen guys, we've got the road trip episode for you
Important stuff here. It's road trip season. It's coming up. Yeah
Road trip seasons upon us and we want to share any pro tips that we can even though you probably have your own pro tips
Yeah, because you've been out there on the road before but you know what I've been on the road, too
Yeah, Rose has been on the road a lot. I have a little saying about it
Mm-hmm. The road is hard and life is harder. You put them together. You're not much smarter
Yeah, maybe maybe no better off for all the driving and all this all the
I'll tell you though. I can recall at a time being in maybe Utah. I was headed to oh
Which nationals was I headed off to? Oh, well, let me think about that. Maybe
Hmm, which one would you be going to that you'd be up that high?
Well, Utah I passed through Utah to go to Minnesota. Oh
But I think that this was a little bit before you know, perhaps when I was headed to
No, I was on I was alone when I went to Massachusetts. I was not alone
This I think this time I was in the Astro maybe
Gosh can't remember had to do nationals or something driving cross-country and I drove by a stream
And I was like, you know, I'm gonna put my feet in that stream and I was like off the cut
I'd got off 40
Anything had to go north. I had to get gas. I was I was like west of Green River and there's a big empty gap before Green River
It's a dangerous section of
Desert that is just whatever. It's unique gas. So I had to ditch and go up north this
Very small town and I passed by this creek and it was behind a barbed wire fence
And so I climbed over the barbed wire fence and I put my feet in this ice cold stream
But that's what I wanted to do. Yeah, and it was amazing. I thought it was real hot out
No, it was very hot. It's very hot
Not the only ice cold stream I ever put my feet in while on the road
But that is a that's my first pro tip do that shit. Mm-hmm. Do that stream stop and smell the roses. Yeah
so many times traveling
Just had to go and went so fast through everything
But other times did get to do some gallivanting now. Let me ask you this
To start this out. What time of day do you like to leave for a road trip?
well
I'm extreme. Also. I need to point out extreme. I need to point out that besides
Driving with you down to California that I think the only road trip you've ever been on
I think I've only done that did that one time though
That's the only time I've ever been on a road trip in a classic vehicle
Everything else has been new like a rental car or my own personal car
I guess my friend and I when we were 18 went on a trip in a VW rabbit
That was from the 80s, but this was in the 90s. So it wasn't that vintage. I would say I have very few experiences traveling in a
Newer car. Yeah, so I don't totally count as somebody that I don't know all these like old car tricks
I would like to go on a trip trick is surviving. Yeah, sounds like it
I would like to go on a trip in my trans am across country. I think that'd be great
Yeah, I could take the Corvette to that would be interesting. That would be so good. It's so hot though going across the desert
I mean, oh my god
It doesn't overheat though. I will say with it getting hot right now
I am always I I do think about I'm like, how have I survived any of these trips cross-country because it's like
80 this week and I'm like, oh, it's hot and I think about myself out in the desert
Just like I must have been straight up suffering. Yeah, probably how definitely
You just were became a desert girl. I have details on how I did it. Yeah
Um, I have been in the Corvette onto a five dead stop 100 plus degrees
Just idling in traffic and my the car is always at 220 because it has a big
Aftermarket radiator in it. So it's about size with you. Yeah. Yeah, it's got a big
radiator
Yeah, and it never it never overheats as far as I know so far
Anyway, what time do I like to leave? I
Really if left to my own devices, I will leave it four in the morning sometimes six
I really don't like leaving in the afternoon, but I will
I've had to because not everybody wants to leave at four in the morning or six in the morning
And those are my preferred times. Okay. So yeah, so you consider that early morning. Well, it feels like
It feels like an adventure
When you're leaving when you have to get up all early and like my grandpa
Whenever we would go somewhere it was always when it was dark out still in the morning
And so I think I equate it with going on an adventure with my grandpa. That sounds great. Yeah, so I
What about you? What time do you like to leave? I like to leave I get my sights set on dusk
Yeah, your night your night girl. Yeah, as soon as the Sun goes down I can get such good driving like from
Let's say 10 o'clock to 8 a.m. Is like wow you can make some time. Yeah, there's so few people on the road
Yeah, however
as
Anyone who's traveled with me knows I'm very bad at leaving. I will it'll it'll drag on a day
It will go on a day it turns into mania and it is it is brutal
I'm sorry to Kristen. It has taken me a long time sometimes to get out of the driveway
there was a time that that I was leaving with someone else to a con of lines and
We got to the gate to leave and then the other van didn't have brake lights
And I was like what what is going on? Why?
Why are we just finding out so like it's like one in the morning and I'm fixing the brake lights in this guy's van
Yeah, at the gate. Well, so you're leaving early morning, too. Well, I haven't slept yet. I don't call that morning
I mean that's night, you know, I have quite a lot of long as we leave while the Sun's down is good
Yeah
But the thing is that like by three o'clock you need to be stopping at a truck stop or a town and just like
Having lunch. Yeah, the goal
In my opinion the goal is that by 345 you should be at a truck stop or in a town chilling out
Quote-unquote maybe in an air-conditioned place, but you need to stop the van
Yeah, he is the enemy. I think the thing is too with me is I haven't driven in the desert much
Hardly at all like I've been done a Joshua tree again in a modern vehicle with AC
Didn't have a problem with it
And you have been traveling in the desert in a classic no AC. Yeah, when it's down suffering. Yeah, you know
Opened a vapor lock. Yeah big time. Yeah
Now does vapor lock eventually go away?
Yeah, when they close down. Yeah, I wrapped my fuel line in fiberglass one time
Yeah, and it made a difference. Yeah, because I mean glass is quite an insulator. Yeah
I
My thing like leaving the desert like when we you know when we moved to the desert to work for Jean
We would head up towards jeans and hit the fast trip. That's where the cheapest gas was and I'd make my like
I'd just straight up make a gas station coffee. Yeah, I love a gas station coffee
Yeah, I'd be like that the Irish cream like to the green Irish cream
Yep, maybe two of the French vanilla blues together and then like maybe one of the chocolate one
Yeah, yeah, and then the coffee
And maybe a little bit of just regular creamer
There's so much something that's so great about an about a gas station coffee
Yeah, I mean they're so gross, but it's like yeah, that's the trick and it is fun. It's like I'm on a road trip
I'm drinking this gas station coffee. Oh, totally. Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah, I'm there for it
But there I mean there is a point in the trip where some of my best memories are like having
Having a really good cup of coffee like stopping like I remember one in Horts Van when I was cutting across the top of Ohio
Headed for Massachusetts and I stopped to make a coffee and this guy and I like a later model of conaline stopped and talked to me and he was
He was a dirt biker and I think he'd had an injury and so he was becoming a dirt bike photographer instead
But he was like a younger guy and I think he was from Australia and had come here or from New Zealand and his family like
his family sort of didn't believe in him and
That he was like, you know, I don't get to ride as much because I got hurt
But I'm like I'm I'm getting sent all over and he was kind of living the dream and that was such a cool stop
So he became a good photographer sounds like yeah, and I just met this guy a truck stop
I was making a cup of coffee and he liked my a conaline. He had a late model of conaline
Yeah, I think with like dirt bikes on it. Yeah, I bet or you know a dirt bike stickers at least
Yeah, and if you're gonna be a dirt bike photographer, you gotta have at least a sticker. Yeah, I was cutting across 80 at that point
So I was like in the in northern Ohio headed towards, you know
Cutting across so that was cool
But one of my faves is this I stopped and made a cup of coffee at the Devil's Gap
Going like on my way like I think through Wyoming. Okay
Near the North Platte River and just like stopped and just made this coffee
And it was just me and some fire ants and I like gave them part of my hot dog bun
I can't believe you got that friendly fire ants. Yeah, there was like a sign for
An area where like these, you know Mormon settlers had had a really hard winter trying to pass through and they got stuck there and a
Lot of them died and I don't really stop at religious monuments
I moved forward to the to the actual like Devil's Gap Monument. Oh, right
Yeah, we look at it and it has a plaque with the story of the
Native American tribes idea of how the rock got the big crack in it
Yeah, it was like a big beast that they fought and when it retreated it it hit the rock and split it open
Mm-hmm, and I just had a cup of coffee and stared out at this thing that like that, you know people very early on
Had had been staring at for years. Yeah, you know this beauty. I
Mean granted. I was standing in a in a blacktop parking lot at this point
But it's still just me the ants and the beauty of the scenery
Yeah, very cool and had a delicious cup of coffee and just took a chill pill and
Then on the way back got to do the same thing and I saw actually a picture of my phone today of Kristen and I there
Photo I took of her while we were having coffee at the Devil's Gap and like it's some of my favorite memories
Yeah, I mean and the North Platte which they're in that area. That's also like
Near Colorado and there's still a lot of murder of native people in that area and a lot of plaques that acknowledge that and
Took a long time for the United States to apologize for any of that. Yeah a lot of senseless murder
But I I
Was gonna get in the North Platte, but then I think there was a sign that there were parasites in the water
And it was kind of risky. Yeah, I don't do that. You don't want to parasite
I wanted to put my feet in that cold water who cares the sign said to not do that
Yeah, I got some I had I was shooting film
Mm-hmm of the Astro and it came out okay, but it was expired
And so it was like I really had to tweak the photos to extract something out of them
Yeah, I got some decent camera like for iPhone photos
It was a good trip the Astro was like obliterating itself
the transmission was
Destroying itself becoming unbalanced and poor Astro. Yeah make it home though
Yes, but it vibrated so much on the way home that it broke the rear brake line
The hard line on the on the rear end
So you went home without rear brakes. It was we were pretty close to home and the rear brakes broke. Yeah. Yeah
But you made it home. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were like a boron by that point no toe club is it was part of yeah
It was nasty. Yeah, no, I think we did check like I think we did stop and check the
We made sure we had fluids in the transmission in the rear end because it was getting so brutal
That was definitely the five-speed slash ride
But anyway, I
Like to leave and get the driving in in the dark because the heat is the enemy vapor lock
So outside one time outside a grand junction in Hort's eight door
The vapor lock was getting me and the van was bucking and I like pulled over and flipped up the engine cover
I'm like losing my mind. I'm just like what is causing this? What is going on?
And then I like remembered, you know some advice that Faye Butler gave me it's like heat is the enemy
Everything gets hot the longer you're running it everything is and I eventually like snapped out of it and just realized like you need to stop
You need to let this thing cool down. There's nothing you can do about this right now
So we crept in real slow because like I said, it was bucking really bad if I'd get on it
It would start slamming. You know, wow. Yeah, and
We rolled into a flying J and Grand Junction and just got showers now
For me. Yeah pro tip. Yeah
When you're at a truck stop get a team shower if you're with traveling with somebody that's a shower for two people
Yeah, if you're buying diesel, which I've never yeah
Yeah, you if you're in a big rig. Yeah, if you if you have a diesel engine, then you get points and they'll give you a free shower
Yeah, that's cool, but
That's not me. So I paid for the shower. They were like 11 bucks
Nice for a two-person shower. Yeah. Yeah, I think they're a little more now, but get a team shower and
Just freshen up at that time let everything cool down the van needs to cool down
So like three o'clock, you know, get to the truck stop get your shower
Get into some fresh clothes because you're gonna feel scummy summertime travel. Oh my god
Yeah, I mean listen unless you're like uncle money bags and you're getting a hotel
But that's not for me. That's not how I roll like you want to get to where you're going
You're going to a van event probably. I hope yeah
So you want to get there and enjoy the party that the ride home might be the time when you have time quote unquote
Yeah, but for me like if you're hitting the hammer hard. Yeah, you
You get to the gas station or the truck stop 34 o'clock
Get your shower on eat some food there at the truck stop or eat food that you've got in the van and
Then take a nap from about four o'clock till 536
As long as you can stand it just rest your bones wait for the Sun to go down and as the Sun starts to go down
Now your oils cooled off right the oil gets so thin after it gets hot
I mean, it's you know stays the same weight quote-unquote, but if you drained it it would be hot and very running. Yeah, so
Everything all the metal let it all cool down the best you can. Yeah
the best you can and
then
Set back out again for more nighttime driving you want to drive from Sun down to Sun up
Gosh, you know what I don't like about that is you don't get to see stuff. It's dark
That's what I really don't like it
You have a great point and I mean I've driven all night before but I will drive for like 15 hours straight
I don't know but the the sunset and the sunrise are pretty remarkable. Well, you leave at four or you see the sunrise
You leave at six generally you see the sunrise. Yeah, well
There and you can drive until Sun. Why wouldn't you drive until sunset if you left at four?
You're that's the worst time to drive
rush hour traffic
You just said sunset though. You said it. Yeah, you if you started sunset sure
I mean it depends on where you're starting from. Oh, but if you're if you're once you're out in the thick of it
Yeah, I do consider rush hour traffic
I am like man
We're gonna just be up in it and it's gonna be hot and stop and go and it's like when your mind is
Rough from a long drive, you don't want to put yourself in that stop and go stuff
You know if I get maybe get a little tired and creep up on somebody and bump into them
Yeah, you don't want to do that a little poof. Anyway, that's my beef with driving
Well, let me tell you about something I did see what you see
We were going through Arizona. Kristen was asleep. Uh-huh, and
We're just trucking along and I see something out of the peripheral of my left eye
Mm-hmm, and I rolled down the window because I was like maybe it's a chopper like a helicopter
Oh, okay, roll down my window and there's like no sound and this thing is like next to me on the road
Wow, it's traveling the highway with me and then
It moves further out and then it's further away like maybe a
Half a mile away and it's like
Was it still trucking along the highway with me. It was light. It was lights
it crossed over and
All I could see behind it was like looked like sort of like jet afterburner, huh?
It crosses over the highway it goes over and there's another little mountain range. This is Arizona
Yeah, there's another little mountain range and then what it looked like to me was that it went to the mountain range and
It just sort of sat there the white light
Weird it was very straight. It was silent. So you think you saw UFO. Is that what you saw something? I guess
Yeah, yeah, it was wild. It was like like I said, it was actually I got it
I got a little backwards. It was far away first. Uh-huh, and then it was next to me
And it followed along and I just kind of was like side-eyeing like it was weird
And then it crossed over just like hard right turn crossed over. Yeah, do you think it was checking out the van?
I guess I don't know. Yeah, it was so strange
Buy a military base. Yes. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yep
Never ruled that out. It's definitely it was definitely by I forget what AFB is there, but it was you know near flagstaff
Yeah, so it could be something but there's no sound thing was weird
But what if it was tracking with me then the sound could have been behind us
Yeah, I guess. Yeah, but in terms of the sound cone going out. Yeah, huh
It's pretty weird that there wasn't any sound. It's pretty strange. Yeah, that sounds pretty that sounds kind of magical
Yeah, I mean it's cool. I've seen other stuff like that
I remember being on the phone with my dad and I was up in New York and I saw something like
Stainless steel shiny up in the clouds. Well like blew my mind. So you've had a couple. Oh, yeah couple sightings
Yeah, I see stuff
Yeah, you shrug and you're just like, I don't know. I don't get to tell anybody nobody'll believe me. I
Mean, I believe you. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I don't know what I saw. What's not to believe you saw something something for sure
For sure. I think so you do get to see cool things that you can see bobcats going across the road too
You can see owls flying across the road. I'm not totally opposed
I just like to see things during the day the first trip that Kristen and I took
West we went to Utah for the ratfink reunion and she was driving and we were like getting way up into a canyon and like a
Condor or some enormous bird crossed in front of the van and she was like I'm done
That's it for the night. And so we stopped and pulled over. Did you all did she almost hit it?
It was insane how close it was to us. It was a huge bird and then yeah
You don't want to hit that and then we so we pulled over at a rest stop and we woke up to an unbelievable
Canyon. Oh
Wow, we had no idea if we couldn't see it at all. Yeah. Yeah, it's dark. Yeah, and then when we woke up
It was unreal how beautiful it was. Wow. I wonder where you were in Utah. Yeah
I mean Utah is just so amazing. I know every part of it. I wish I could live there. I really do
It's pretty remarkable. The landscapes are some of the best I've ever seen. Yeah, definitely some desert heat
Go back to my roots. I
Mean that was tough
You know when we went to the ratfink reunion we hung out and like it was really hot during the day and it was super cold in
The van at night. Yeah, it's like that's hard on your body. Was it up in Salt Lake? Where was it? Manthey? Oh, okay?
Yeah, that's where Ed Roth. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Ed would go and Ed would leave California and go until people didn't recognize who he was at gas stations
Yeah, and that's kind of how he decided to move and then there was a temple in Manthey
Yeah. Oh, yeah, cuz he was Mormon
But this brings me to my next point road trip pro tip
Bring clothes for all weather. Oh, yeah, that's it. I've been stuck
From Vegas to the Arizona side of the Grand Canyon and boy
The Arizona side the rim of the Grand Canyon on the Arizona side. Oh boy
Lot different than Vegas in the summer even it was like 35
I don't know. We were was me and Mandy and Rebecca and geez
Mandy and I slept out in the tent. We almost died mother nature will prove you wrong. Yes for sure
You think you're gonna get out there and just like all willy-nilly wear whatever you want. Yeah summer time
I should bring shorts. Don't be so foolish. Yeah another big another big item. I think that's critical to have bring a wool blanket
Because if shit does get cold animals know how to stay warm
Don't bring a polyester or cotton blanket bring a wool blanket wool also naturally turns water
So let's say you just wound up in a drizzle some for some reason, you know on the side of the road
Like my van broke down one time outside of Bakersfield. It was when the air compressor seized up
I had the AC compressor. Oh, yeah, it was just a pulley and yeah, and it seized up on me
And I had to wait for it was Sunday and they couldn't find me a tow truck
I had to find one of my own my insurance couldn't get me one and I wound up sleeping in the ditch
So I didn't have to sit in the van and possibly get hit by a car
And I slept in the ditch for a while and watch the Simpsons, but I was under my wool blanket. Yeah
What did you have between you and the dirt? I don't think anything. Oh
Wow, just there with the bugs, huh?
I might have been like on top of the wool blanket and then the other part pulled over me
Yeah, and I think that one is a as a check wool blanket that I got from a military supply
Yeah, we'll blankets are the good good shit. Oh, it's a good investment
I have one for the curtain in my van because it's very dark and it helps keeps a little heat, you know up front
I can't have it on my bare skin. So I would need a little itchy for you. Yeah. Yeah, you'll have that for sure
Yeah, I would need like a sheet. I think but do I think I think that's a critical thing to keep. Yeah
Now for the van
Bring one of everything bring another fuel pump whether mechanical or electric bring another alternator
Oh my god, you better have belts. Don't get caught without belts
Yeah, an extra spark plug wire here there. Yeah, you melt through one
Smarter shit. Don't get caught over dumb shit
Yeah, bring some fuel line, you know
That's the kind of stuff. That's like if you have a problem have a little metal fuel line have a little rubber fuel line. Yeah
You know what I mean, that's maybe a spark plug or two
Water pump if you if you have your fears about the water pump radiator hoses, this is also fairly
I mean, yes, it all takes up some space. Yeah, but I used to carry it in the astro under the bench under the bed
It's worth making room for yeah, I mean sure you can get towed but
You just never know
water
Water drinking and radiator. Yeah, don't mix that up. Yeah, don't know don't actually drink your antifreeze
I heard it tastes good, but don't do it. Well, I guess I mean like you don't want to have to choose
You don't have to be like do I give up my drinking water like because there was a time
When we broke down which we talked about this in another episode
We broke down with the eight door and it was because the brakes were dragging and I did get down to my last water in the desert
And nobody was stopping for us. Oh shoot. So, you know, you you got to have that water
Yeah, lots of water more water than I think you expect to need
Sunscreen sunscreen and two hours. Yeah every two hours you have to reapply. Yeah, I was I
Learned in 2021 that sunscreen is only good for two hours. I had gone on my whole life thinking
Yeah, I didn't learn tell pretty recently. I'm such an idiot. Yeah
Yeah, it really kind of sucks. Yeah, I hadn't I I was just totally I will admit it. Yeah, I don't need to feign intelligence here. I
Did not know
But every two hours so now when I drive especially left arm left leg that's your window exposed part
Yeah, yeah, I mean when you're in a non-air conditioned vehicle
It's hard. I will try to wear long sleeves if I can because I don't like my skin to take a beating if it doesn't have to
Yeah, which brings me to my next pro tip
Travel with a with a towel that you can put over your legs
Yeah, that's smart because you'll want to wear shorts, but you can dry off if you go swimming. Yeah, two thing
I mean travel with the towel and a bathing suit. Oh, yeah
Yeah, well, it can be good to drive in the bathing suit too because then you can dump water on you without repercussion. Yeah, but
Sometimes it's good in the early to have a towel to put between you and the engine cover too. Oh my god. Yeah, it gets hot
Yeah, if you're in an early, yeah, which I am yeah when I I guess so there has been a time when I drove in the desert
But it was only for like
Four hours when I was coming back from the Gorge with my friend Paul
Oh my god, the Gorge Amphitheater and we left
We there was we had but we had to because we were like waiting to get paid for this job
We did there was some reason why we had to meet the producers or something
I don't remember but there was some reason some reason why we had to leave like we couldn't leave a movie meet the producers
Yeah, meet the producers exactly
Yeah, there was some reason why we had to leave when we left like I think he had to get back
To like because he had he's a child. Yeah, and he is a child or he has a child. He has a child
Yeah, maybe he might be a child. I don't know. I think he's pretty mature. Okay
but
Yeah, that was so
Fucking hot and my I was wearing like
Slides with no socks because I was hot and man my foot was just getting burned by the engine and
At one point we were just putting ice in bandanas and putting it on our like under our hats
and then we would put ice in our bandanas and put them around our neck and
Yeah, just ice in every single part of our clothing that we could think of getting it into this is another rose pro tip like
Chris and I came up with this formula
The the dart from Flagstaff back to our home in California was it's a total hot run
And
Because once you get out of Flagstaff you hit have a sue and then that's the border you're in needles
Yeah, the thing is needles is in triple digits in in the summertime when we would be doing this drive, right?
Needles would be in triple digits
At 9 a.m.
Wow, like so hot like once you hit 10 a.m. You're above 90 something and it's it's for real like even at nighttime
You're like, oh the temperature is gonna go down. No, it's not
It's like when we moved to jeans and I'd be out and I'd like it just felt like a
Ceramic heater the wind would blow just to eat. Yeah, it just feels like a ceramic heater in your face
Yeah, and that's how it is like in that little strip to Vegas
I
Mean I've got a flat tire in that strip to Vegas in the middle of the night before and like we changed the tire real quick and
Cops pulled up. They're like sort of ran us off. We're like
They weren't I mean you had a nice we were like we're done. We got it. They're like get out of here like
That's lame. Yeah, that's weird. But anyway, here's the thing flagstaff to needles
Like flagstaff, there's a flying J where we would get rest
Yeah, and we would we would that's where we would wait it out and we'd be like, okay
We're gonna leave here now
So that we make it to needles about 8 a.m.
Because there's a really huge hill to climb to get into golf station and all the time
It's littered with RVs where their radiator hoses have exploded
Geez, and just there's huge puddles left like well like wet spots, you know where you can see or they just blew stuff up
Yeah, oh my god, it's carnage getting over this hill
So you you need to be as smart as you can about it and be as nice to your vehicle as you can about it, right?
so we would leave flagstaff and then
You know plan this out so that we could get gasset at Lake Havasu and then climb over the hill needles gently
Yeah, and then it's a decent ride through up to Barstow as you're basically your next real like quote-unquote real city
Okay, that's where Gary Busey's like go to Barstow get the Land Crab special. That's in fear and loathing
Yeah, I haven't I read it. Oh
Anyway, yeah, I don't think I saw it anyway. Well, sorry sorry to disappoint
It's just a long run in what used to be the bottom of the ocean, you know, right?
And it's it's fucking brutal like golf says where that gas station is at that it says like we know our prices are high
It's expensive to run a gas station in the desert. Please stop telling our employees about it
Don't be an asshole. That's cheese. That's what's over the hill from needles and it's like yeah, it's very expensive gas
What we what we would do is we would get to the gas station at Havasu
There's another flying J to go into Lake Havasu where everybody's hauling their boats in and their
What are those those quads the?
Side-by-sides and stuff. Yeah, everybody's hauling in to have fun out and have a suit
So we would get styrofoam cups full of ice and then we would get a bag of ice and
Just have that just for drinking ice and then get two gallons of water
And we would just continually pour ice waters and what you do is you take a drink because when you're sweating that much
You're not gonna have to go pee. Yeah, your body is just absorbing it and that's it
Right, and then you take a drink and then the next one you dump on your head
Yeah, and then you take a drink and the next one you dump on your head and you have to keep doing that
There was a time I remember
About New Mexico or so
Where Kristen got like heat exhaustion and the exhaust gases from the early we're just wearing her out and we had to stop
Because it was making her sick and like we had to like, you know
Soca handkerchief and ice water and put it on her neck and just like yeah, it is hard on a person really brutal
Yeah, it's hard traveling in a classic vehicle like that in the van sitting next to an engine
It's not easy. Yeah, that's hard and again. We didn't we didn't get hotels cuz we I didn't have the money. Yeah
We were going to events and vending and like it's not it's not the payout that you think it is. Yeah, and
We didn't get on the way back from
Oh, I think Massachusetts was about the time that we got our first hotel in like the 15 years of me hitting the road at that
point. Wow
Geez we stopped in Black Hawk, Colorado and got a hotel. Yeah, there was just there was nowhere to sleep in the van
It was full of shit
You know all the parts and stuff that we'd take out there for the van and stuff we'd come home with and yeah
Well, what it where'd you sleep before that? I
Think that you would not sleep try to sleep in the passenger seat and trade off
Oh, and then we would carve out a little hole somewhere. Yeah to sleep on. Oh geez. That was hard
Yeah, that does not hurt. It's not the best of conditions. It sounds hard. Yeah
Sometimes Kristen would fly home and I drive home by myself because she was in such demand at work that they had to have her there
Yeah
We did a lot of wrote I mean we'd jump on and off 66 all the time pop soda shop was a yeah, great place in Oklahoma to stop
You got to do that stuff like for me. I remember I had a boss
in one of the rod shops because I lived in Paducah, Kentucky for a while and
We worked four tens and it was nothing to do around the shop during the weekends
And so I would just hop in the van and just go drive wherever and I would go looking for anything neat
and there was a lot of neat stuff out there and
I would take all these pictures of old signs and neon signs and like a barns full of 76 signs
He'd be like I'd love to do that and I was like, I don't know. I pull over and stop and take pictures for everything
I'm not trying to get anywhere. He's like, I don't know if I could handle that
You said you could didn't know if you could handle that he didn't think he'd like that
Yeah, it's like I just take my time not going anywhere
Yeah, I don't like to be on a trip where you have to be I don't like I like to build a chill
Yeah, and yeah, even if you can take the time
I understand sometimes you just kind of fucking get somewhere but like I don't know
That's just not my style one time
I got to drive over to Columbia University and take photos of William least heats moon William least heat moon's van from blue
Highways. Oh, wow, he donated it to their anthropology department
Uh-huh, and when they built the building they drove it in and then built the walls
There's no garage
Yeah, such a cool van that he had a Rand McNally map glued to boards
And then those were inside the window inserts on the inner structure of the door
Because like when when you get doors whether they're window or panel they have a window inner structure
And if they're a panel door then just the outside solid sheet metal
But so was on the panel he had screwed it into where the window would go
So there were these two Rand McNally maps
Window size on the insides of his doors and army trunk
So he didn't have windows or I don't know it's all panel van
No, I'm I don't understand where the maps were sorry. They were in what's I'm trying to tell you is that the inner structure
Of the door is always made for windows no matter what right? Yeah, but then the outside if you get a
Sheet metal like of sorry a solid door
Then it just like you just see on the inside where the window seal would snap on to you
And so he cut out these wood panels that were basically the shape of the window like he had panel doors
So on the inner structure
There's a lip to screw these panels to because that's where the window gasket would go in the front window side
Oh the side door cargo doors. Okay, it's a van
Yeah, I thought you were talking about the the drivers and the passenger windows
I was like what he didn't have windows that I don't didn't get it. No in the cargo doors
Okay, so in the side you could have said that to begin with in the side cargo that
Yeah, you should have said that okay rewind
So in the cargo the side cargo doors, okay, where there would be an inner structure
He had screwed this wood in and it had Rand McNally maps and that was how he navigated like part of how he navigated
Okay, and then he had an army trunk and then the bed was like open underneath that he could slide the trunk under it
And then he had carpet just glued to the walls
He didn't put up boards and build like an interior wall. Uh-huh the carpet was just on the walls
Oh, wow into the on the ribs and stuff. Yeah. Wow
It was cool funny. It's a really cool van. Yeah, I
Mean I never finished the book because like I talked to uncle Blano about it
And he was like, I don't know anybody that tries to go over grants pass in middle winners and idiots
So I stopped reading and it kind of stopped me on the book too. Oh
Grants pass here in Oregon. Yeah, why is that dumb? I
Don't know Blano just thought it was a dumb idea. No, he doesn't know how to drive the snow then, huh?
I don't know about that. It sounds like a woods. Blano's a road warrior, but well, it doesn't sound like you can do it in the snow
He's gonna talk shit about someone. Maybe we'll have to get him to verify that. Yeah, we'll have to find out
Why is he such a pussy about driving in the snow?
One day he drove by me on the street and I literally chased him down the street trying to get him to stop talk to me
Like I know this guy. He's given me tons of his books
Yeah, like my copy of Terry Cook's vans came from Blano
Uh-huh, and I like he looked at my early as he's going by and I was like got in the van chased him
I was like waving my arms out the window and he wouldn't stop
Maybe he thought you were gonna drive in the snow
I guess but if a super van was chasing you and you've been a banner for 40 years, wouldn't you stop?
I mean guess not. Yeah, I guess not
He was brutal. So like I used to in my early days. I would I wouldn't roll my windows down
Because I could oh yeah, geez you
My god woman for the aerodynamics, you know like quote unquote
Yeah, that's I would be so annoyed if I wouldn't ride with you probably my first man had 373 rear gears and my gas gauge
Was like a clock going backwards
Well, who's fault is that well, I would like skip rent to go to van events my first two years
I went to eight events each year. Yeah, it's a lot. It was a lot
It's a lot and like my my first year the seventh event
I won an entry to an event in Colfax, Iowa that would be on my 21st birthday
Yeah, and so I was like, well, it's my birthday. I gotta go
Yeah, that was that was way the fuck out from Louisville, Kentucky
Yeah, well and I had to drive 55 and like some friends were already there and they're like you gotta drive faster
Or like come on. We're gonna get there and party and I was like I literally can't afford it. I got home with like $40
Well, which was not much money. Yeah, that's not much how old were you? I
Sometimes when you're in your 20s, you only have $40 and the event before I
Had been drinking with Lance Hubbard and I'd had my first moonshine with Lance
I'd met him at the Nationals or I think I'd met him actually at bluegrass my first event
Then I hung out with him again at the Nationals. Yeah, and he had a really cool van called yellow fever and his wife mother Hubbard
Kathy is super cool. They were so nice to meet and
He told me a bunch of cool stories and then he was like you got to come down to to
What it was it it was it's North Carolina is Cherokee, North Carolina for the Great Southern Van Run GS VR
But everybody says GV SR. Okay, because that's how it comes out of their mouth
Yeah, and I went down there and drank moonshine with him had an awesome time and then went out to
Hovax Havoc in Colfax, Iowa the weekend after and that was my eighth event for the year. It was brutal as
far as money goes. Yeah, but I went and
When I was at that event Howard was like, hey, you know Lance, right? And I was like, yeah, he's a guy
He just died last weekend
So even in my first year my first banner had passed, you know a friend. Yeah, that's sad
Yeah
Said he wasn't feeling good and he'd coughed up some blood and he laid down and then Kathy went to check on him and he was gone
Wow, that sounds so sudden. He had told me a story that like he was like, you know back in the day. He's like
He's like we were at the Nationals and we were hanging out and you know, everybody had like throwaway cameras and stuff
You know, you take pictures and you just take the thing and just take pictures throughout the whole event
Go home and get him developed and he's like
He's like, I guess those guys had like got somebody's
Somebody's daughter was like 18 or just turned 18 or whatever and she was walking around a bikini or whatever
And they took pictures of her in my van in your van. This is Lance
Story from the 70s, okay
And he's like, I guess they got her to get in my van and they took all these photos of her with my throwaway camera my
disposable camera and
I went home and I developed that and he's like back then he's like you like wouldn't hear from people
You know, they might call you on the phone
But not everybody had each other's numbers and stuff and we weren't in contact that much and he's like
He's like they called me like a few months after that and how it's like
This is this is Lance tell me he's like, oh, man
I'm so glad you guys called you gotta talk to Kathy because he had developed that film and all those photos of that girl in his van
And she was like, what the fuck is this?
Whoa, oh his wife. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure they had pranked him. Yeah pretty funny
And so yeah, I mean, I don't think yeah
I mean just I mean yeah, it's hard to transfer you there to him tell me
He had a Leonard Skinner dad used to follow them around
He had a Leonard Skinner to look like a painter's cap, but it was white. Yeah has a short little bill on it
I love a painter's cap. He was a real southern boy. Yeah, you know, Tennessee had fire on the mountain was on the hood of his van
yeah, and the van was called yellow fever and
Actually when they I I didn't get to go to this funeral
I don't think but the guys in the club said on the way back from the funeral that they did see a fire on the mountain
Anyway, well that is that is some of the lore of road tripping as it as it were and people you meet on the road, but
So I wouldn't roll the windows down and a couple of the people from the club rode with me and they were like
It was killing them. It was it was brutal
And then I drove all the way to Pennsylvania from Kentucky windows up and the van ran hot
It was like running like 230 degrees the whole time. That was a hard
That was a hard trip. Yeah, whether that saved me even a dollar in fuel
Probably not. I mean, did you
Like I'm sure it saved you a little but like comfort is worth something to me anyway
But I guess I'm just kind of a prissy princess. I guess I had read that, you know, I'd read that it was
You know that it was worth the mileage. I'm surprised with how you calculate mileage would have seen you do
In that you're very on it with calculating your mileage. I'm surprised that you didn't calculate it with and without the windows
I'll tell you this. that
After all of my research
That it is very hard to get any better than 15 miles per gallon with a 350 Chevy and a carburetor
Yeah, like I thought when I put the overdrive five speed transmission in there that it was gonna, you know
Be really good and I would like it was it was hard to get 15 like I had a I had an open filter
But I had a ram air
Going from the grill to it feeding it cold air. Yeah, and I could get like 14 15 with it
Which people were like that's good. I get 10 12
So the 14 15 was pretty strong I will say yeah, but God in today's economy though
My god, we had a touring van that was similar as a one ton GMC with throttle body and overdrive and we could get like 19 in that
Yeah
Which is good, but I mean I get like 20 in the astro TBI. I mean, that's you gotta have the fuel injection
Yeah, now, you know now I know but I'm rolling the windows down
Yeah
I'm rolling the windows. I've been with you at the windows down so I can attest to this. Yeah. Yeah
No, that's I mean hey to each his own
I mean in the wind in the summer last year. I came up with a system where
On the highway in my modern car, but it is black and it's not big and it doesn't have AC and
I5 is like stupid hot
I think it was like
90 something or a hundred and I just rolled my windows up until I was sweat like it was like sauna
Like I was like wet with sweat and then I would roll my window down and then it was like
AC on my and I would put my arm out the window as much of my body as I could have the window and that was not that was a good
Strategy I don't approve this method
You told me about it. That seems torturous. Oh, it was great. It works great
I mean, I'm the one that drove 16 hours of my windows up in July. Yeah, so you don't have any room to talk there
But what about JD had that method where oh my god, such a good idea. Yeah, she rubs menthol on her body
Yeah, she said it feels super cool and tingly. I gotta try it. Yeah, I think about how your mouth feels
Yeah, after like some I don't know if there's menthol in toothpaste. Yeah, but um, you just wanted to say mouth feel
Yeah, I think about the mouth feel the mouth
Yeah, I thought that was brilliant. I'm gonna try that this summer. Yeah, that was a great one get some menthol something
It was a hot tip. We hope you all write in with your hot tips. Yeah, we want your hot roadtips. Tell us what they are
Yeah, what about what about do you prepare like a road trip playlist? I
Have in the past
I
have one that's like a
bunch of like Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty and
Alan Parsons and a Fleetwood Mac
Who else is on there? I
Think there's some
Maybe some hollownotes
That was one that I made for it's pretty long
But generally I just like to like
Pick an artist and then sometimes listen to like quite a bit of the catalog
Also, I like to let my friends whoever's riding with me. I like to them pick a lot your friends
Like three that's cool
But two of them I've gone on road trips with across the country
So they're solid. Okay, and it's just cool to hear what other people want to listen to and then I get to listen to things
That I because I sometimes get in ruts like I'll just admit that like I like certain stuff and maybe I'll listen to it a little too
much
Like once I listen to Rocket Queen for probably five hours straight on repeat when I drove from Kentucky to Pennsylvania
With the windows up for the nationals in 2009 my second
Uh-huh, I forgot my CDs and all I had was David Bowie
Spiders from Mars like the Ziggy stardust motion picture like the live show. Okay. I'll just listen to that the whole time
Wow CD player was so hot. It was so hot in the van. Yeah, I do remember that like that was all I had
I just listen to it almost all the way. I got annoyed with it. I like went through phases with it
You're like, oh, this is so good. Oh fuck. I hate driving me fucking crazy. I wish I had anything. Yeah, do you do a playlist?
I do I usually have
Honestly the way that I do playlists now
Is it's just sort of like what have I been listening to in the last three months?
And so I'll go to my like in iTunes my recent. Yeah
Maybe like top six or eight records. Yeah, and put something together
But I'll throw some like classics in there, but I will make like a road trip playlist
That's like things I know I want to hear. Yeah
And I go by feels for sure if I'm sometimes if I'm feeling up or down or whatever
It just depends on how I feel or you know, I'll try to cater the music to that
Occasionally I might make a playlist while I'm going along and be like, oh, this is reminding me of this. I want to hear this. Yeah
I
Mean it's all over the place because the wind noise is so high like in the earlys. You really just can't yeah
You just you just I mean I think in the earlys. No
I just listened to the engine and lately I drive with earplugs
Yeah, because they test our hearing annually at work to be like hey, you've had this much hearing loss
They're like hey your hearing is good, but you should do everything you can to protect it protect it
So now in the van a lot of times because there's so much white noise
I just put in earplugs, but I can hear music better with the earplugs in but if you redid the van
You could make it soundproof better
Right, I mean, I'm just there is options. It's not it's a brick
So there's a lot of wind noise on the front corner of the van
Oh, I mean, yeah, yeah
If you went through and put all the sound editing material in it or seals go a long way for sure
Yeah, I mean I drove hordes vans cross-country with no door seals, right? It was insane
Yeah, I bet it was I
Mean I remember when we were driving down to California that we had to put newspaper in
the in between the doors and the in like the door well that wreck side the passenger side
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was filled in the door gap. Yeah. Yeah
I
What what can you do to like when there's people that do like the hot rod?
Uh
What the fuck is that they do those long? I mean it is usually on the east coast
I think it's a power the power tour power tour
And then they do another one that's just like car shows I think along the way. Yeah, I mean are those all like
Street modded out so they have like modern
amenities in their cars because all over the place isn't there a way like what could you do in your van to make it?
Not as susceptible to the heat
Uh silver roof we did on Hortz van. Mm-hmm. So it's not a black top. That's critical. Okay. That was a big help
A sun visor can help as well. Okay. I mean sure air conditioning swamp coolers
Like you can have a swamp cooler that you fill with ice that goes on the window and then draws it and pushes it in the window
Yeah, you can do some people will do a cooler with a fan in it
Yeah, I think I've done that before with a fan in the lid
So it blows the ice air out and that's I mean that's a decent investment. Yeah to get anything cool at all
I mean air conditioning, but you know air conditioning is an energy suck, right?
Is it I well? I was actually talking about for the engine
Like how could you make it so the engine could handle heat? Is there something you can do to make it or core?
But handle heat soaking everything around it like especially in the earlys the doghouse metal becomes hot, right?
Yeah, like irons a shit conductor, so it takes a while to get it hot, but it also holds that heat
Yeah for longer. Yeah, it doesn't dissipate off like on aluminum. You know where it's like it's being wicked off. Yeah
And so it's good to stop
You know and let it cool down, but I mean sure electric fans
I mean the earlys are wild because the heat goes up in there the heat rises to the top and it's stuck
Okay, so you're kind of stuck with it. Kind of it's just gonna be some extent. Yeah
I mean you're producing right you're using up energy and energy is never lost. It's just converted
And it's usually converted to heat right so your exhaust is hot and then everything else becomes hot
And so it's like at some point you need to stop and it's hard on your tires. It's hard on your brakes
That's why driving at night when it's cooler cooler air is more dense, right? So you're also gonna get better mileage
I tried to push that through we tried to do a road trip episode on myth busters where we were gonna do an
Electric car versus a gas car and like see if driving at night made a difference
Oh, yeah, the gas car would have denser air and like see if you did better than driving because like you hit traffic during the day
Yeah
But it wound up how I'm gonna do better or worse compared to electric
What does that mean? I don't know because the electric car doesn't suffer from the heat issues as much
But the batteries can get hot. Okay, so with the batteries stop and go driving
Okay, yeah, we were gonna compare them, but it turned into like just like running laps at willow springs raceway
Oh, okay. Well, that's not very much of a road trip
It became a commercial for Hyundai Kona's. Oh, because they gave us like a hot
They gave us like an electric Kona a hybrid Kona and a gas Kona maybe. Oh, okay. Well, that doesn't sound that fun
Yeah, it was nice of them now. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. It was okay. Yeah, I think it was still called road trip
Road trip around willow springs. Yeah
Now we want to talk about snacks like one of the most important parts of a road trip critical aspect
I mean, we already talked about how we make our gas station coffee
Which is like I I will say that like for me. I love to get a gas station coffee and like a banana nut muffin
Yeah, that's a good combo. But you know after like a cross-country this that those do kind of gross me out
But yeah, depends on how many you get ages ago. Chris and I road tripping my mom was like
You know what you guys should do you should get like a little box and like fill it full of snacks
We're like, thanks mom
That's a great idea. Yeah, that's a mom tip right there. That's a super idea
So
We're gonna move in the snack box section here
Thanks mom
but we
We're gonna go out and do a little
Incognito shopping and we're bringing you with us. Yeah, you can come with us to the snack station
Then you can see what it's like see what kind of choices we make mm-hmm our high fructose
How much high fructose corn syrup fructose fructose?
Fructose fructose. Here we go
So I'm gonna be holding snacks grabbing snacks and holding my microphone
Both standing like this, and I think
Yeah, I don't know that you're gonna have that much hand control
It's gonna be really hard for me to do all those things at once unless I have a basket. You can't grab a snack
How many I'm grabbing multiple snacks. I
Don't know I have two hands here. I
Don't have two hands. Yeah, but oh my god. What do you mean? We're just going to gas station to buy stuff
And you're like I don't know how to do this
Okay, fine. We'll figure it out. Um, so anyway, we're doing something different today
And we're gonna go to a gas station and buy some snacks and then then we're gonna munch them and
Talk about how we would eat the snacks if we were truly on the road
Having a snacky time. Yeah, we're in between two shitty places and we're getting a sugar high and then we're chasing it
We're just savory sweet savory sweet beef jerky to popcorn to snickers to M&M's
To twizzlers back to the beef jerky. Maybe some string cheese throw it all down with a root beer
Coca-Cola for a caffine. Yeah, you need the caffeine. Maybe a Red Bull if you're Kirsten. Wow. She has six a day
Oh my god, she said six a day and then goes to bed
So crazy. Yeah caffeine pills. We're gonna take a bunch of caffeine pills. Oh
Stacker twos. What about those?
What about those boner pills? Yep
56 boner they would like pump us up a little bit. Yeah, that's the whole point the whole point's getting jacked
So
What are you gonna get? I
Am so hungry that I'm probably gonna go off list. I
Better not buy peanut M&Ms because I already got them
Damn those were so good. I pre-gamed a little bit. Yeah, she did
But you know what people? I haven't eaten since breakfast and it's 438
PM. Let's see what happens. Yeah, here we go
Oh, no get the Skittles as you can see I already got Pringles
Oh, yeah get red lines. Can we share?
Well, that's rude
Yeah, definitely Starburst
No
Full-size these are unwrapped. Oh minis. Yeah, right? Yeah
I was gonna say you don't want candy that you have to wrap a lot
Sure
Do they have are they different flavors do you think yes, it's raspberry versus strawberry
Well, which color do you like usually get okay? Cuz I don't usually get sour patch stuff
Well, I think the thing is about going on a road trip is when you can try different snacks
100 grand not gonna happen. Good bar
I
Wish there was a chico stick
It's like what's inside of a butterfinger
No
But then you get to like you just suck on it for the rest
Yeah, there it's good, I'm gonna go over to the savory the savory. Yeah
Now this is where the investment gets big. Yeah
I'm gonna go
I'm gonna get a stick
Dairy-ack stick. It's got 20 grams of protein now. Okay protein
Satiates your hunger who's on who's on slim Jim now macho man still on some Jim, so
Wow, I'm gonna have to go for a macho man slim Jim
Even that looks so gross. I'm just getting the original
Tillamook snack stick. Oh, 20 grams of protein. No, that's good. Yeah, local. Yeah
I do want to get hot fries
What are hot fries?
Cheez-its oh, yeah, okay
You know what I'm looking for is guardettos
It's like
Like it's a mix. What do they call it? It's like something that people make at Christmas
Yeah
Okay, first of all I'm gonna get these white cheddar cheese
For the holiday season people bring it in home. So hot fries for sure. Okay. I haven't bought these in a long time
So we just got
$47 for the snacks and we forgot ice cream sandwiches, but we'd promised that we would go to a second weird gas station
We're gonna have snacks for a week because there's I'm gonna nibble each one of these a little bit
Yeah, we're gonna taste them. It's gonna be a little bit gross
I like that you look like you're incognito with your glasses in your head. Hello. I'm just it's getting inconspicuous snack purchaser
Look at these pooplets. What? Oh, no poop-shaped candy
Okay, there's gotta be shock heads here, right if they've got poop-shaped candy. Okay, so we spent about $90
$90
We got some ice cream we have snacks for the rest of the trip we got some root beer
We've got so many snacks that Rose hasn't even had any and she's already sick of them
Honestly just looking at the talkies makes my mouth do a backflip. Oh does it it makes it's like kind of makes my mouth
Pucker a little bit like knowing I'm gonna put one in my mouth. Yeah mine, too
But we also got like the mini starburst. Yeah unwrapped. Okay, you don't have to unwrap. No. Yeah, you just can throw me a bonus for driving
Yeah, I'm excited to try those out. Obviously like we got ice cream
That's the kind of thing you eat at the gas station. Yeah while you're leaving. Well, you can you can depends on where you're at
I mean, you carry a cooler. Oh
Yeah, absolutely. Who doesn't carry sometimes I would not carry a cooler. Yeah, I don't know what your product is
You won't unroll your windows you won't carry a cooler. What is going on? I don't know not good not good traveling
You're supposed to be a pro. How have I made it this far? I don't know. I'd usually show up relatively unscathed. Yeah, sure
Yeah, right. Like I said the road is hard and life is harder. Yeah, exactly
exactly
Well, I'm gonna dive into some of these. Okay. I definitely yeah, I want to start with something hot. Oh do you?
Yeah, I'm gonna start with a red vine. Okay. Okay. So do you ever use a red vine like as a straw?
Yeah, like bite both ends off and put it in a soda
I've heard about it. Okay. I don't know if I've really done it
I only started drinking soda a lot in the last like year or two. I'm sorry. That's that's my fault. It is your fault
I used to somebody used to hang out at our house that was like a rep for coke and he's like don't drink anything
We make it's so bad for your stomach, but I love it. Yeah, I mean what's funny is before I start drinking soda
I don't know. It's not really funny
But I went to the dentist's office and the hygienist was like, oh you drink a lot of water
And I was like, yeah, I don't I don't drink very much soda or my just mostly drink water and she was like, yeah
Your teeth are all smooth
Like people that drink a lot of water their teeth are all smooth. Well, well, well
Yeah, look at me probably not anymore because I've been drinking fucking soda and even actually soda water
Will make your teeth not smooth the dust from the talkies. Okay, first of all
Talkies are so dry
But they're so good a little bit of like cardboard base flavor, but I mean the flavor is so good like it's hot
But it is making my eyes water almost immediately
I love talkies, but like that's kind of what I like about it
Mm-hmm
I do like a spicy snack like I love to get kebler crackers
jalapeno flavor
with a coke
For some reason that's a road trip for me
That's the quite the combo there, but talkies are great and I feel like talkies don't really like hurt my stomach
Even though I'm filling it with all that red powder
Very red the talkies. These are the fuego flavor speaking of red powder. What happened with that?
I thought it was a lot and we couldn't use any food dye anymore. What happened to that?
I don't know. Maybe it's natural red
Let's see what it says
It's a natural food dye. Okay number one ingredient
Corn garden flower. Yep called it processed with lime
Or lima and then vegetable oil
uh seasoning salt
Citric acid
Soy protein onion powder yeast extract red 40 lake yellow six lake
Natural and artificial flavors. So those are your colors red 40 and yellow six
Do you when I was a kid the kids in neighborhood to talk about yellow five and mountain dew shrinks your dick?
What say that again? They would say that the yellow five
Uh-huh, which is in mountain dew. Let me say shrinks your dick
I wonder if there's any truth to that. I know
Huh. Hey anybody out there experience that let us know. Yeah, I would you drink so much yellow five at your dick as a tiny
Yeah, please reach out. We need to know if this is true or not. Yeah, please verify. I mean no shame
Every size is a good size. Okay. I don't know how I'm gonna go from
Talkies to like there's there's some sweet stuff like I might have to wander off
Because there is big league chew and I would love to put half the bag in my mouth
Yeah, I know you were saying that you'd put half the bag and I'd put half the bag. That's the fun
Yeah, just like chew it as a wad
Now another one of my favorites that might transition me over to the sweet stuff
Is the white pretzels the white uh the flips. Oh, yeah, those are good. Those are pretty good. Yeah, the yogurt pretzels
They hang in there with like as far as getting melty. They do okay
I mean you got to keep them in the cooler, but yeah, yeah
You're maybe not as sensitive as you think because they're sort of like yogurt. Yeah
Yogurt, but you do have to pay attention to
Melty and we did get some melty snacks
I think red vines are pretty impervious to the melting. Yeah, and actually red vines taste better warm
Yeah, because they they get soft. Yeah. Yeah, so you want those
But your melty snacks just keep in the cooler until you're ready to eat them. No, I see that you've got cheezus. That's a good call
Yeah
Oh
all right
My next move which I don't want to do to myself
I'm gonna get it out of the way
Get it out of the way a slim gym. Oh my god
Macho man randy savage still on the packaging
Well, of course
Wait, is he dead? He's a goner
Randy Poffo. He has passed away
Do you think that um, they just bought his image for life? Um, I don't know maybe miss elizabeth still makes money off of it
Maybe his brother uh flying lanny puffo
Oh, is that is that his brand is slim gym?
Was that his brand or he was just no, he didn't own it
He's just a spokesperson
Yeah, sometimes he's like what I think dog food would taste like
Oh, yeah, I remember I try I don't I'm not gonna try it. It's kind of mushy. Um
It's kind of yeah, it's kind of what dogs would love this
If you're traveling with a dog just feed it slim gyms, nothing will go wrong
Yeah, there won't be any diarrhea at all. Yeah, it's a little bit spicy
My dog did poop on the engine cover once
Oh my gosh
Puppy how stinky was that on the way to the 46 nationals? We were almost there
And puppy pooped him right on the end. What kind of a poop was it?
Not solid
Oh, no
How big was that? He was a tiny he's a tiny dog. I don't know. You want me to tell you how me out?
Well, I mean did it like
Drip off the cover. I'm not like that. Okay. Well, I'm eating
Well, you're eating dog food. I'm throw
You hear the shame in my voice. Oh man, I would not buy a slim gym like
This is too gross for eating on the run. Yeah, I don't know why you're still eating it
I'm a little bit drunk. Well, listen, we've had a whiskey and a root beer. It's Friday
I barely had any whiskey but rose has been hitting it one of my co-workers and I we're talking about whiskey during work and
I was like, you know, I have some buffalo trace the shop. It's Friday. It's been a hard week. We've worked hard
Why can't why can't a girl have a drink? Yeah, you should definitely have a drink. You should have 10 drinks. I don't care
But I guess I shouldn't have a slim gym
No, yeah, don't have the slim gym because I've got I've got tiller mc jerky and I'll share with you. Oh, really? Yeah
I want okay. Yeah, I want to taste the tiller muck. I'm not going to finish this slim gym even though there's a tiny bite left
It's not worth it
Yeah, yeah slim gym kind of tastes like dog food
It doesn't kind of taste like dog food. It absolutely tastes like dog food. It's what I think wet dog food tastes like
Okay, now this has 20 grams of protein. Okay
Um, I feel like the slim gym has less slim. Yeah, slim gym has 18 grams of protein. Okay. Well till mc wins
It's a little bit bigger though, too. It's a bigger serving
Already tastes more like real food. Yeah
It's way different. This is a little bit on the sweeter side. The slim didn't have a little spice, which I like but
I don't think that has any added sugar. The slim gym just says
Smoked snack stick
They're not talking about meat
It's just smoked snack stick. What does that say? This on the other hand
This does say snack stick, but it says no artificial ingredients
And it says made with angus beef and premium pork right on the package. Yeah. Yep
That is probably a better call. You know
It's hard to avoid jerky. You know what I like on the road alien fresh jerky out in baker california
Their jerky is good
I would get like their teriyaki. Oh, is it from there? Is it like a local alien fresh? Yeah, yeah
Sounds good. It's called alien fresh. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's good. I'm having a little bite
Yeah, I have a little bite and then I want some of that. Yeah, it's good going from red vines to tillamook jerky
Tillamook higher quality. Definitely go for high quality in your jerky
I think also if you're gonna do jerky and you can have some cheese with it
And then if you have an apple, maybe you've stopped and sliced the apple
It's almost like you got a little security board going on. I'm scared of gas station cheese
Well, you bring string cheese. Here's something we didn't talk about yet. Okay
Do you bring do you go to the grocery store and when do you go to the grocery store?
Because you you got to go to the grocery store for some healthy snacks
You can't just eat gas station food the whole time for me when I'm at the gas stations
I try to get a banana like every time I stop and just eat the banana right away
Yeah, but we're talking about grocery store
Um, I'm not big on the grocery store before like maybe a little bit
So I'm not like paying like highway robbery prices
And I might get um, some granola bars
I might get a sweet granola bar like sunbelt. So like covers my chocolate cra- I have chocolate cravings. Sorry everybody
Oh, no, chocolate. Say it isn't so I know I know I'm so sorry to admit to you. I'm with chocolate
Um, yeah, I'm done with the podcast. I'm gonna leave
Yeah, but I'm not gonna go crazy at the store before because it's like it needs to survive across 2 000 miles if I'm driving cross country
And like it may or it may not and I don't want to waste my money
Huh interesting because when I get to the nationals, I'm gonna go to the store at the nationals
Yeah, you're talking about you're always driving across that's what my trip would be for the van
I've only driven across country twice. Yeah. So like I'm going then it was in the winter
I'm going I'm driving three days to then go camp for a week. Yeah
Yeah, I haven't done that. So we would get there monday leave sunday. So like I'm gonna like
Keep it simple. But like, yeah, you do want to get some good stuff for the road
But again, it's gonna suffer the desert
Well, not everybody's going in the desert
Right, but I had to traverse it. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't have any choice. I'm just saying for other people
Yeah, we're not we're not all going I mean Kristen would definitely like go to the store and get
Excuse me. Wow. I'm like, oh it is over here from candy griffith throw me in the drunk tank
Um, yeah, I mean definitely crackers. That's a go-to for me
Like I want simple stuff that is not going to upset my stomach not risky
But I also I try to keep my
intake minimum on both beverages and foods so that my bathroom breaks stay minimal
Oh
Yeah, I don't I don't do that either
Well, it's also like I'm scared of using the public restroom dealing with different things being trans. I'm scared of like the public bathroom
So I'm like trying to stay out of them. Yeah
Um, and if I I hate that you have to think about that
Yeah, if I'm by myself
I'm definitely probably like peeing in the van and like disposing of it later in a rural area
Like where I'm just out in the middle of nowhere
Just dump the bottles out or something like that and then just try to not have to go to the bathroom
If I don't have to because same same thing. It's just like
You just don't want to you don't want people fucking with you and people will fuck with you. Yeah
I mean, you're you know, you're literally uh open to just violence and
It it's scary really horrible things can happen to you. I mean, yeah, I'll say that I meet I meet nice people on the road for sure
But it's not
You never know right and especially right now with the political climate. There's states that are like having bathroom bans and
yep
There's states that will allow you to sue trans people for being in the bathroom with you. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah
also states like, uh, Kansas just, uh
What is that word invalidated? Yeah, they validated all the drivers license and then Mississippi. Yeah
They did that plus if they catch you with it not representing quote unquote sex at birth. They'll report you to ice. Yeah
What does that got to do with immigration? Yeah, it does have anything to do with immigration. That's why it's scary
It's bullshit. Let's hate. All right. So I'm eating some peanut butter crackers
Just as good as I always remember I get the kebler ones. That's what you find at the store a lot at the gas stations a lot
Okay, love the kebler jalapeno ones, but toast and peanut butter cracker
That is solid for me. Yeah won't upset my stomach
It'll fill me full of sawdust is what the crackers basically taste like. Okay. Wow. Yeah taste that sounds delicious
It tastes like sawdust. It sounds horrible
Well, um, I do like to go to the store and I will get like string cheese
You know, you're not worried about shitty cheese on the road. Um, I would probably get some meat sticks
I might go to trader joes and get a buffalo jerky. I'm a big trader joe snack girl
Um, and then I'll get some apples
Oh, yeah, maybe if I have a friend I'll get oranges because they can peel the oranges
And then I'll get avocados and I'll get bread. No way avocados on the road
You got to keep them in a nice spot. What are you doing with them? You're eating them. Put them on a sandwich
No, you put them on bread or you can just eat them. I I only wanted on toast
I eat avocado. You're not toasting anything. You just put it on bread or you just put a little salt on it
You just eat the avocado as is. I mean, I'll just eat
I mean avocado is great, but I want a raw dog avocado
I want it on toast with like raw dog the avocado. Yeah
I want it on toast with cayenne and like some onion salt and some garlic salt
Yeah, you could put cayenne and onion salt and garlic salt and just eat it without bread
Yeah, you could also put it on crackers. I mean great. You're such a cracker girl
Yeah, I mean I carry a propane burner. So like I could definitely make a little toast, I guess
Yeah, look at you. I'm not even carrying a propane burner cracker. No, no
I'm not fucking with it on cracker. Then I would also get
Like almonds some kind of nuts trail mix cashews for me for sure
When I would travel with Fay Butler, he would talk about like
He would he would get up my case about eating bad stuff and would just be like get a kind bar
Or have some cashews and then we'll eat real food later. Yeah, and because he stops and you know
He he travels rationally, I would say
I mean, there's something fun about eating all the garbage food when you're same
Yeah, because I'm not eating garbage food like this in my real life
There's just something about being on a road trip that you're like, whoa, no parents. No rules
I'm gonna eat junk the whole time. Yeah
Although I do bring some healthy snacks. I mean, it's yeah, it's kind of fun
But I mean, I also like I said, I don't have a very big appetite. Yeah
I I'm the opposite. I'm eating the whole time
I'm trying to stay chill. Yeah, like I said, I don't want to have to go to the bathroom
Yeah, I don't
Go to the bathroom when I travel anyway
So I don't have a problem with it when it's hot you are like at your limit
Like it does start to exhaust you and you're like, I need something but yeah
Yeah, I try to yeah, keep it minimal. So what else do we have here? I want to I know there's the flips
I know the flips are good. There's good. I'm gonna go cheez-its cheez-its is a smart call
Um white cheddar cheez-its
The mini star the mini starburst. Okay. Oh, yeah, the mini starburst. I need those two
So this was the favorite this watermelon cherry strawberry and fruit punch, which is like, I don't want the orange ones
So this is great. Yeah, that's also unwrapped is perfect because you can't be unwrapping starburst while you drive
And these are little mini. They're very cute
Yeah, they're tiny. No and you can't be driving unwrapping starburst. Yeah
Like it's kind of warm in here and these are good like they're easy to eat
But like you gotta be careful because you can overdo the sugar on these big time
Yeah, for sure. Like don't have these with a coke. Oh my god. No, what about five hour energy?
No, no not gonna do it. Nope. Not even you don't even have one for like a backup
No, I've had that maybe once or twice in my life. What about stacker two?
About what? Stacker two
I don't know what that is. It's like a caffeine pill. No
About boner pills
Yes
Like 10 of them
Boner pills for everybody. Yep
Especially if there's a panther on the on the like packaging
Packaging cells, huh? Yeah, I would definitely take those ones. The mini starburst are like perfect. What do we do for caffeine?
I'm gonna be honest and just say that. Um, I've had an uh adder all or two
On the road. Um
And those certainly help with a really long drive the first time I met mark in oklahoma
When we took out station fell asleep woke up. I had an adder all and drove from oklahoma to california one shot
1200 miles. Wow. Yeah, I was getting the genes like I was starting my job there
See it'll get you through
It really did it'll get you through
It was kind of brutal, but it was good and then truck the thing about the truck station coffee is
I put half truck station
Like that gas stop and truck station
That I um, I usually put half coffee half chocolate
Hot chocolate and so it's so sugary. It's kind of like I need to be more
To get the caffeine benefit. I just really need to do less sugar in it
But I just like the way it tastes because it's like being on the road taste
But I feel like it's hard to really get the benefit of the caffeine when you have some of sugar
Yeah, I have occasionally um had black gas station coffee
Because I don't want to grow sugar
How was that?
It's okay. I mean, it's so hot. That's part of why I put the creamer in it. It's just you get it out of the thing
It's like scalding hot typically. Yeah
The tornados I'll have those on the road
Um, I love the cheese it with the white cheddar. It does taste like you're having cheese
The cheese it is is safe. I'm gonna have a piece of cheese. Yeah, they're like creamy. You put them in your mouth
That's a safe one. We got the airheads. I feel like the airheads would be identical to eating the starburst
It's like the same thing. It's just smushed and flat. I've never really had airheads
All right, but the cheese it's if you like
If you uh crunch them up and leave them in your mouth and don't swallow them right away
They do get creamy like as if it was cheese. Yeah, if I had a cooler, I would definitely have a chocolate bar
I feel like if I had a cooler, I would probably try to have milk and cereal
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's something on the list too that I put on our list was cereal. Yeah. Yeah
See, that's why you got to have a cooler. Yeah
So you're carrying some dishes too a few little dishes here, you know
When you got like the van you've got to have a little bit of the dishes a little bit of utensils
I got the whole coffee rig like I said the coffee is the big part because it's like when you're worn out on the road
If you can stop and have a good taste of home. Yeah, I got the hand grinder
That's kind of like levels me or centers me. It's a good cup of coffee. Yeah, nice
Well, look, um, well, give me some of those starbursts. Yeah, try them. Yeah
I mean, what do you think? Do you think this is enough for people to get out there and get their road trip on?
Oh, people are going to be road tripping whether they listen to us or not
Well, I mean that's just a given they have my permission
You have my permission too. My gosh the the um
The starbursts look like little chicklets. I know they do look like chicklets
They look like chicklets, but the taste is perfect. You don't have to unwrap them. That is a good one
Oh, they're great soft at summertime. They would be good. Yeah, exactly now. They're a little warmer
Yeah, I mean like we got ice cream ice cream. You should be like eating it right away at the gas station
I think you can eat it when you drive. You just have to eat it fast
Yeah, you could maybe it could maybe last in the cooler for a bit, but I mean the cooler is not
No, I mean you would get in the you would have it
Let me take a bite of it at the gas station and then you would take bites
You would finish it in the car. Yeah, it's dangerous territory though. You get sticky
It's so hard to get like get washed up in the car. That's true. So if you had a
Makeup wipes though, you had a co-pilot
Yeah, they could wipe your hands off for you like you were a toddler makeup wipes are a good one for your face
Oh, yeah, god
like a nice cooling makeup wipe and also
I think what's nice
You get one of those
face sprays
Like cooling cucumber or something and you put that in the cooler and I would also recommend putting your sunscreen in the cooler
That's smart. Definitely the cool cucumber like mist spray. Yeah, super nice. Yeah, that's so good
And sunscreen in the cooler
Gotta have a cooler. I don't know what people are doing with that one rose
I don't know. Listen, don't forget to take tools and a spare tire though. Oh my god. Don't get caught without a spare tire for
Oh my god. Yeah
Well, one time I got caught this was just when I was driving working, but one time I got caught without a
tire iron
to get
Thank god I had AAA and I had somebody come out and they just thought I was such a dingbat
You know the cheez-its are good. Like the cheez-its are they don't taste like sawdust. They taste like crackers
They are cheesy. They're not super bad. I could see snacking these and like it's mellow on your stomach
It's filling
I need a whole little bag of that probably in one sitting
I can see like white white cheddar cheez-its or popcorn
Oh, yeah, popcorn too. Very similar category. Yummy
Well
What do you think are we road tripping? I think you all are prepared for road tripping. Yeah
And if you have any like tell us what your what are your go-to snacks?
What does your playlist look like sound like? I guess maybe sound I don't know what it looks like
But what does it sound like? Yeah, and do you have any uh tips that you like? What are your road trip rules?
Yeah, give us your road trip pro tips. Like obviously, it's not the only way to do it. Tell me about it
Yeah, I mean hilltop van like definitely wrote me and was like what's up with the five hour energy like listen
I I would took caffeine pills one time. I thought my heart was gonna explode
Wow. Yeah, I used to get the starbucks
Uh ice coffee drinks same thing like that's too much caffeine nowadays. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but
Yeah, like be careful out there. Don't take too many boner pills
You done been piled up
You
You
You
You
About this episode
Road-trip season kicks off with van-spotting banter and a bunch of real-world travel stories—from stream stops and Devil’s Gap coffee to desert heat, vapor lock, and brake-line trouble. The hosts trade practical timing tips (when to leave, when to stop), cooling and comfort strategies (towels, hydration, swamp coolers, sealing wind noise), and roadside preparedness (tools, spare parts, water). They also get into music, playlists, and snack logistics, including caffeine, coolers, and what not to drink.
Original notes
In honor of roadtrips we drop our best road trip tips & fave snacks!
Recorded @iapdx
Recorded & mixed by Emdognightmare & Queen of the Vans
Editor: Emdognightmare
Production & research Queen of the Vans & Emdognightmare
Find us: Car Krush
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Hugs, thank you & high fives to Greg Meleney for the killer tunez!
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