#25101: Diana's Dodge Biohazard
Annotations will appear as you listen
0:00
36:26
Car
Simplex Automobile
The Simplex Automobile is an old car from the early 1900s that was known for being fancy and well-made. It’s important in car history because it helped shape how cars are built today. People like to talk about it because it's rare and has a unique look.
Car
Fisker Ocean
The Fisker Ocean is a new electric SUV that runs on batteries instead of gasoline, which is better for the environment. It's designed to be stylish and uses materials that are good for the planet. People talk about it because it's a cool option for those wanting an electric vehicle.
Car
Plymouth Crickets
The Plymouth Cricket is a small car that was made in the 1970s and was popular because it was cheap and saved on gas. It looks a bit different from modern cars, and people talk about it because it reminds them of a time when small cars were very common. It's a fun piece of car history.
Car
Volvo 1982
A 1982 Volvo is an older car model, which might have different features and maintenance needs compared to modern cars.
Term
manual transmission
A manual transmission is a system in a car that lets you change gears yourself, usually using a stick and a pedal, instead of the car doing it automatically.
Term
sunroof
A sunroof is a window in the roof of a car that you can open to let in fresh air and sunlight.
Part
brake caliper
The brake caliper is a part of the car's braking system. It helps squeeze the brake pads against the wheel to stop the car.
Part
brake pads
Brake pads are the parts that push against the round metal disc when you press the brake pedal. If they get stuck, they can make noise and not work properly.
Part
brake disc
The brake disc is the round metal part that the brake pads press against to stop the car. It's important for making sure the brakes work well.
Term
bad belt
A bad belt in a car usually means that a rubber belt that helps run parts of the engine is broken or worn out. This can cause problems with how the car runs.
Brand
Ford
Ford is a well-known car company in the United States that makes many types of vehicles, including trucks and cars. They're famous for models like the Ford F-150 truck and the Ford Mustang sports car.
Car
Jeep Wrangler
The Jeep Wrangler is a tough vehicle made for driving off-road. The 1999 version is known for being very durable and has a soft top that can be removed for an open-air experience.
Car
Dodge B150
The Dodge B-150 is a big van that was made a long time ago and is great for carrying lots of people or stuff. Many families and businesses liked it because it was roomy and useful. People talk about it because it reminds them of the good old days of big vans.
Term
three-quarter-ton
A three-quarter-ton vehicle can carry about 1,500 pounds of weight. It's a way to describe how much stuff you can load into the vehicle, often used for trucks and vans.
Term
carburetor
A carburetor helps engines get the right mix of air and fuel to run properly. It's mostly found in older cars, as newer ones use a different system called fuel injection.
Term
Chrysler electronic ignition
Chrysler electronic ignition is a system that helps start the engine by using electronics instead of just mechanical parts. It makes the engine run better and more reliably.
Term
V8 engine
A V8 engine is an engine with eight cylinders that are arranged in a V shape. It's known for being powerful and is often used in sports cars and trucks.
Part
radiator
The radiator helps keep the engine cool by removing heat. It's important for the engine to run properly and avoid damage.
Part
automatic transmission fluid
Automatic transmission fluid is like oil for your car's automatic transmission. It helps the transmission work smoothly and keeps it from getting damaged.
Part
exhaust system
The exhaust system helps get rid of gases produced by the engine. It includes parts that clean the air and direct it out of the car.
Part
catalytic converter
The catalytic converter is a part of the car that helps clean the air by changing harmful gases into less harmful ones before they leave the car.
Part
muffler
The muffler is what makes your car quieter by reducing the noise from the exhaust gases. It's part of the exhaust system.
Term
transmission cooler lines
Transmission cooler lines are tubes that help keep the transmission fluid cool. If they leak, it can cause problems with the car's transmission.
Part
dipstick
A dipstick is a long, thin tool that you pull out of the engine to check how much oil is inside. It's important for keeping the engine running smoothly.
Term
hot tailpipe
A hot tailpipe is the part of the car that lets out exhaust fumes after the engine has been running. It's hot because the engine heats it up while working.
LIVE
This message comes from homes.com. When you're shopping for a home, you want to know as much about the area around it as possible. Homes.com has got you covered with a comprehensive neighborhood guide from local experts. Homes.com, we've done your homework.
This is a federal funding for public media. Despite attacks on the free press, we are still here for you. And we will not shy away from exercising the critical right to editorial independence guaranteed by the First Amendment. And with your support, we will not be silent. NPR will keep reporting the news without fear or favor.
And here at the Best of Car Talk, we will keep bringing you the same questionable car advice that you've come to expect all these years.
If you are already a car talk plus supporter, thank you so much. We see you and we're so grateful for your support. If not, please join the community of public radio supporters right now before the end of the year at plus.npr.org.
Sign up and watch a bunch of perks like bonus episodes and more from across NPR's podcasts. Plus, you get to feel good about supporting public media while you listen and the year in a high note and invest in a public service that matters to you. Visit plus.npr.org today. Thanks.
Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio with us, click and collect the tap at brothers. And we're broadcasting this week from the center for deep thinking here at Car Talk Plaza. And my brother has some deep thoughts.
I wish I knew who sent us this, but here it is. It says life's challenges can seem almost insurmountable at times, indeed. And things appear to be getting not only harder but weeter as well.
One might normally seek inspiration and turn to the Bible, the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita, the Daudu Jing, but sometimes even they are not enough. That's when you need the wisdom of supermodels.
Three pages of wisdom, for example. Are you going to tell us? I'm going to give you a couple of sample.
From these quotes come. Yeah, I mean, these are evidently. I presume I hope we won't be insulting anybody, but I mean, it's just given to us and we think it's correct.
His his some wisdom from Kathy Ireland, because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take. And Kathy has started such things as the alien from LA and danger island.
Hey, the alien from LA was pretty good, man.
Beverly Johnson whom I wasn't good the first time I shot. But by the third time you start to get the deep meaning exactly to it three times. Yeah.
Beverly Johnson whom I don't know, but evidently another supermodel she has some words on poverty. Every once you have enough money to get plastic surgery.
Whether you need it or not, Carol Mallory whom I also don't know on self knowledge, you know, it's important to know yourself.
Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed, but I learned I am not my cleavage.
She may be wrong about that. Some serious stuff here.
Here's one from Linda Evangelista. I don't know her either, and she discusses economics. I don't even wake up for less than $10,000 a day.
Yeah, me too. That's my end of the way.
But the wisdom of the, we maybe we can have some other little wisdom of automobile mechanics, for example.
Wisdom of there are lots of possibilities, but we have the bug of our game. We just we dispense that from time to time.
Things like that's what it is. It's gonna cost you a hundred bucks if that's what it is.
You know, someone actually put that on a brass plate and mailed it to me.
Just so I would never forget that I said it. It's gonna cost you two hundred dollars no matter what it is, if that's what it is.
If you want to talk to us about what it is, the number is 1-888 card talk that's 888-227-8255. Hello, you're on card talk.
Hi, this is Elizabeth and Arcada, California. Hi, Elizabeth. How are you?
I'm doing well. Thank you. How are you? Where's Arcada?
Arcada is on the Pacific Ocean way up north about as north as you can.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never been there. Yes.
Here, Eureka? Yes. Yeah. A little bit north of Eureka actually.
Yeah. Okay. Well, I have a problem.
If you were lost and you were trying to get to Arcada, when you found it, would you say Eureka?
No, you say Arcada.
I know that was something. I'm sorry. What's up, Elizabeth?
Well, my problem is both social and automotive. Arcada is a college town with 15,000 residents.
7,300 of whom attend Humboldt State.
I'm one of these 7,300. I have a 7 o'clock math class.
And when I go out to get in my car, it's usually dark. It's very foggy.
And being a college town, everyone's still asleep until I drive by.
Because you need a muffler. No, it's not my muffler. Well, I don't think so.
But like, okay, I go block and then I turn. And then after about another block, it starts.
And it sounds like crickets at first. And then it gets a little louder.
And when I roll down my windows, it sounds like...
But it stops at a stop sign and then it'll start again.
Oh, really? So it only happens when you're in motion.
Yes. When I turn to go north on G Street, it stops.
But then it starts again. On G Street, the letter G?
Yes.
How many just started curiosity? Is this a big, big, big town?
You know, it's very small.
I mean, they couldn't be more imaginative than to name a street with a letter.
Well, I mean, I just, I'm just curious. I don't know. I mean, you know, they might as well just number them.
Maybe they just didn't want to think about it.
It's California, you know. They laid back.
What do we name the streets? Anything you want, man?
I mean, you're just saying, man, I don't care.
Right.
Yeah, it sounds okay to me.
All right. So you're on G Street.
I'm on G Street.
Yeah.
And it stops and it's quiet.
And then I turn right on 14th Street going north.
And it starts again.
Is this a big town?
Yeah.
I don't know what to do. I'm at a total loss.
Well, is there any chance that you might flunk out of this class?
No, this is pre-calculus.
She's going to flunk out of the calculus class.
Because if you're going to flunk out, you don't think so, huh?
I mean, the time is a big problem.
The time is, does anyone show up?
Yeah.
If you show up, you get an A.
That might be it because I got a 92 on my test.
But you'll take any of those class courses that have a pre-in them because they're probably all at 7 a.m.
Oh, yeah.
But don't I get any credit for waking up at 7 a.m.?
Oh, you should. You should.
All right.
So they get to the noise now.
Does it sound like it's front or rear?
It's front.
Uh, front.
Yeah, it's front.
What kind of a car is it?
It is.
I love my car.
It's a 1982 Volvo with a manual transmission and a sunroof.
Oh, 82 Volvo.
Yes.
And you're pretty sure the noise is coming from the front.
Oh, I think so because I rolled under a window to listen to this sound.
And is it?
No, it's not.
It is like three times as loud.
It's really bad.
But is that the sort of the right pitch?
No.
Or is it higher?
It's higher.
Much higher.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
How's that?
That was it.
That was it.
Well, like this is a small town and if it weren't a small town, I'd be pretty anonymous driving around.
Right, exactly.
What?
I mean, I barely know anyone in this town.
And if I drive around in that car, people are going to recognize me.
Hey, I'll know you.
Oh, it's that girl in the 82 Volvo.
Yeah.
No, you have, Elizabeth.
I believe a sticking brake caliper.
Oh, my goodness.
What?
You say that in a happy mood?
Are you upset about this?
I have to register on sticking brake caliper.
Yes.
Yeah.
Brake?
Brakes, yeah.
There's nothing to do with stopping or starting.
Well, it does.
Because if you're not moving, then the brakes aren't like in motion.
Oh.
Because you're not moving.
And so the stuff that's turning.
The disc that the disc brake pads touch against is turning when you're in motion.
Oh, really?
But as though I like, we're just learning how to drive a clutch and like had the brake and the gas at the same time.
Well, yeah.
If it were sticking, then the brakes are kind of always on.
See, the brakes are kind of always on until you've driven long enough to wear away enough of the brake material and then the noise stopped.
How would it tighten up every single morning?
Because every time you step on the brakes, they get...
The last thing you did before you went in the house last night was to take your foot off the brake.
And the next the last thing you did was to step on the brake.
Unless you drove through the garage door.
So you stepped on the brake, the pads moved against the disc and they stuck there.
They didn't retreat from that position.
And when you drive away in the morning, you're hearing that noise of the pad just barely touching the disc.
And after you've driven some number of blocks, you've worn away enough of it or caused enough movements so that the noise stops.
You may have to have that caliper replaced.
Considering the age of your car, I would say you need a new left front caliper.
Left, but not a guess.
Yeah, that's an absolute guess.
And if that didn't work, try the right.
If that doesn't work, try the right.
Well, what about my original hypothesis of it being something having to do with the belt?
The belt is more likely to make noise when the engine is revved.
So that would be coincident with.
But it usually wouldn't be so predictable that it would stop completely when the vehicle stopped.
But if you're sure it stops absolutely every time the vehicle stops and starts up again,
then I would say that the chances are very small that it's the belt.
On the other hand, if there's ever a time when it seems to make a little bit of noise even when the engine is idling,
then it could be a loose belt.
Okay.
So it's a sticking brake caliper.
I see there was sticking brake caliper or it's a bad belt.
Take it to the local gas station and have them look at the steam.
Yeah, because I mean, this is kind of bad, but I've been letting it sound like that for a month.
We know that because you've been absorbed in pre-calculus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But now it's time to, you know.
Give up on that nonsense.
Give up on that nonsense.
And stop doing something useful.
And fix your car.
See you, Elizabeth.
Okay, thank you.
Bye, bye.
All right.
Here's a question you haven't heard in some time.
Do you remember last week's Puzzle?
Just a defined Puzzle.
That's what I thought.
We'll be back in a minute.
This message comes from Babel.
Babel's conversation-based language technique teaches you useful words and phrases
to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world,
with lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers.
Start speaking with Babel today.
Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription right now at Babel.com slash NPR.
Spelled BABBL.com slash NPR.
Rules and restrictions may apply.
This message comes from Granger.
If your job at a healthcare facility includes disinfecting against viruses,
you know prevention is the best medicine.
And maintaining healthy spaces starts with a healthy cleaning routine.
Granger's world-class applied chain helps ensure you have the quality products
you need when you need them.
From disinfectants and cleaning supplies to personal protective equipment
to help deliver a clean bill of health.
Call 1-800-GRanger, click Granger.com, or just stop by.
Granger, for the ones who get it done.
This message comes from Mint Mobile.
Starting at $15 a month, make the switch at MintMobile.com slash Switch.
$45 upfront payment for three months.
5GB plan equivalent to $15 a month.
Taxes and fees extra, first three months only, see terms.
This message comes from NPR, sponsor Shopify.
No idea where to sell, Shopify puts you in control of every sales channel.
It is the commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide.
Whether you're a garage entrepreneur or IPO ready,
Shopify is the only tool you need to start, run, and grow your business without the struggle.
Once you've reached your audience, Shopify has the Internet's best converting checkout
to help you turn them from browsers to buyers.
Go to Shopify.com slash NPR to take your business to the next level today.
Hey, for your T-shirt wear is out there.
All relatives of T-shirt wears.
We just got a veritable shipload, net shipload with a P,
have new card talk T-shirts at the Shameless Commerce Division.
The folks there made a great series of T-shirts out of their favorite card talk quotes.
So in addition to the classics, you know, don't drive like my brother.
Do we achievement how you can now get card talk T-shirts that say, for instance,
if money can fix it, it's not a problem.
Life is too short to drive boring cars.
Do it while you're young.
You may never have a chance to do anything this stupid again.
Reality often astonishes theory or happiness equals reality minus expectation.
How about this one?
Lousy card vice since 1977 and many, many more.
If you'd like one or want one to ship to a friend or relative,
you don't really like just head over to ShamelessCommerce.com.
That's ShamelessCommerce.com.
Ha, we're back.
You're listening to card talk with us, clicking, clack the Tapper Brothers.
And we hit a talk about cars, car repair, and the answer to last week's puzzler.
We had a puzzler last week, really?
It was another...
This was not in for my famous match stick series.
This one came from my friend, Murray Prysler.
Oh, yeah.
He says, take your match sticks out.
Or your pen with which you will draw a match stick, so whatever.
And make the fall away in Arabic numerals.
Oh, I didn't work on this one.
Well, I know that.
I remember this one.
Because if you had, you would have complained.
One plus one plus 11.
You got that?
No equal sign.
Just one plus one plus 11.
So, including the plus signs, you're using eight matches.
Yeah, okay.
Now, here's the puzzler.
Move one match and make that sum equal to 130, 130.
Like this?
Okay, so take that one plus one plus 11.
Yeah.
Okay.
And move one match and make that sum equal to 130.
And we stipulated that you have to stick with Arabic rather than you can't go...
You can't go mix and then match.
And that was Murray's complaint.
He said, you can't go pie as an arominal numeral and you can't turn things upside down.
And even though Tommy's not going to like this when he...
Murray contends it's more legitimate than those bogus ones that I've been giving.
And very simply, you take the vertical piece from the second plus sign, the vertical piece.
And by removing that, you turn that into what?
A minus sign.
We'll agree with that.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
Then you take that piece and placing it so it touches the top of the other plus sign.
And the left most part, you convert that plus sign into a four.
So, you'll make 141 minus 11.
Oh!
You'll like it, Murray.
Well, here's the obvious problem.
I mean, this is a simple geometry problem.
When you put that match there, what is the length of the hypotenuse that you just made?
It's only half the length of a match there.
Oh, I didn't tell you.
So you're gonna...
When you're moving it, you break it in half.
You're breaking it in half.
And Murray thinks that's better than pie.
Oh, Murray, we have to talk.
We have to talk.
Oh, man!
We should, I think, by default.
Just like when Ford screws up and all the paint that's peeling off their cars, what's the right thing to do?
What do we always say is the right thing to do?
They should take back every single car and repaint it.
We should give everyone who sent it an answer right or wrong.
No, no, I like it.
I'm sticking.
Everyone's over there.
We owe 500,000 people 25 bucks.
I'm sticking with Murray.
Murray's bogus.
That's bogus.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to.
You all right.
Oh, man.
Anyway, who's our winner?
Everyone's a winner.
Everyone's a winner.
Everyone should be a winner.
We're gonna go out.
Oh, this is bogus.
We're gonna give reluctantly here.
And under pressure here, I am gonna say that the winner this week is Terry Horlick from Grass Valley.
California.
And he or she is gonna get a copy of our puzzler book, a haircut in horse town and other great car talk puzzlers.
Great car talk, but this won't be in the next edition.
Other.
Yeah, this will not be it.
It's a very big book, Terry, so you hope we have a table with one leg.
It's a lot shorter than the other, so you can use it to its full advantage.
We will have a new puzzler.
And I don't know if I'm gonna go for historical or a medicinal.
I haven't decided yet.
And that puzzle will be coming up in the third half of today's show, so stay tuned for that in the meantime.
You know, we actually got mail.
We got mail from several people saying, I noticed that you have said that the puzzler will be in the third half of the show.
This is serious.
I would just like to let you guys know that there can't be three halves to anything.
And you should say the third part of the show, or some such thing.
Really?
I like to think of it as people getting 50% more show every week.
Well, I do too.
You tune in for an hour?
You get an hour and a half a show.
But we compress it.
It's compressing.
It's like files.
You like to call us?
One, eight, eight.
What is the number?
One, eight, eight, eight card talk that's eight, double eight, two, two, seven, eight, two, double five.
Two, seven, eight.
You mean two, two, seven?
No, double, two, no.
Oh, two, seven, eight.
Yeah.
Two, seven, eight.
Two, seven, eight.
I couldn't give you that number back, and I'm gonna need all your five cards.
Hello.
Hey, guys.
Yeah, hey, who's this?
My name is Nearav, and I'm from Washington, DC.
Your name is what?
Nearav.
Yeah, that's a tough name.
It's N-I-R-A-V.
Nearav.
Nearav.
Got it.
You got it.
Okay, fantastic.
And you're from where?
Washington, DC.
Well, actually, I just moved here.
I grew up in Indiana.
What kind of a name is Nearav?
Well, it has an Indian name from India.
You get good?
Good.
It's a Gujarati name, Western India.
No kidding.
Yeah.
And you're from Indiana.
It's a typical, typical name.
It's like Joe or, you know, Bob or whatever in India.
Nearav.
Yeah.
And it's pronounced Nearav.
You got it.
I love it.
You're not a politician or a lawyer, are you?
No, not at all.
I'm just a lowly student that hangs out in my dungeon basement.
Oh, yeah.
Where'd you go?
Georgetown?
Georgetown.
There.
All right.
It's great.
I mean, girls are beautiful.
The classes are easy.
And the beer flows like water.
It's a good place to be.
What, what, what are the kind of, what, what would you want?
Let, what could you want is right.
Exactly.
And see, I'm here as a graduate student.
So I really have to do very little work.
Very, very little, yeah.
Yes.
So what an endorsement.
I mean, I wonder if the barren's book of, of college rating systems,
there has that in it.
It must have.
No, but the Budweiser book.
Yes.
Budweiser must know where all the beer goes.
They sure do.
Oh, man.
They, I wonder if they publish.
Or perish.
Oh, no, they don't, they don't publish, but they know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, near what, what's going on besides the booze in the, never mind.
Never mind.
Never mind.
Yeah, right.
So I, you know, first time in my life, I got a new car.
No.
And myself.
1999 Jeep Wrangler this year with a soft top.
Uh-huh.
On, you know, not realizing that those tops have to go up when it rains.
And so I left it down at rain one night.
And when I came out the next morning, I look at my car in the hoods up.
I think what the hell is wrong with the hood?
Is someone with the hood up?
So I go over there, and my neighbor's sort of looking at me with this skull.
It's about eight in the morning.
He says, you know, your horn was going off about five in the morning.
Oh, sorry.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
And then he says, well, now I look at him.
I said, did you do this?
No, no, it wasn't me.
Right.
Yeah, right.
So ever since then, my horn hasn't worked.
And I clearly think this is a case of car sabotage.
No, I don't think it's sabotage.
No.
No.
I mean, luckily you had left it.
Oh, no, you can't really lock this vehicle anyway.
Yeah.
But you were nice enough to leave the top down.
So someone just popped the hood and disconnected your horn.
Well, I tried that.
I don't know how to get it back in there.
What do I do?
What was the excuses?
I checked the little wires that go to the horn.
I checked everything.
I thought maybe there was like a secret circuit behind the...
The wire is connected to the horn?
Yeah.
Two of them.
There's two horns and both wires go in.
Oh, then someone cut it.
Someone cut the wire.
Well, no, they would have cut it right at the horn
because the horn is easy to access on this vehicle.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
No, likely they may have disconnected the horn relay.
Oh.
Yeah.
Where's this relay?
It's probably into the hood someplace.
Or maybe...
I imagine they opened the hood.
Yeah.
Open the hood there as you fast asleep.
Put yourself in the...
And the perps.
Oh, boy.
Position.
He's fast asleep.
And all of a sudden he has this horrible noise.
What the heck is that?
He goes outside.
He traces it down to your vehicle.
Luckily, everything's available.
He opens the hood.
He probably didn't bring any tools with him.
No.
No.
I mean, you wouldn't bring a set of wire cutters
with you at five o'clock in the horn?
No, he might have brought a half a pound of sugar, though.
Well, but the vehicle runs.
You're driving it every day, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, it's DC.
You've got to have a horn.
Well, I mean, you might have to do a little work here.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, I don't know if hand with a relay is,
but it's probably on the firewall or close to it.
But it may be...
He may have opened the hood,
but I'm thinking if he did open the hood and saw the wires
as readily accessible as they are.
I can't believe it would.
He would have just yanked them.
Yeah.
So...
Dark at five o'clock, don't forget.
So he doesn't know what he's doing, maybe.
You might have just started yanking at everything.
You may have pulled out a bunch of wires.
I would go first look for the relay.
And if the relay is plugged in,
then I would look under the dashboard
and see that he didn't.
In fact, rip some wires out from under the dash.
Ah, the dashboard.
Yeah.
Because that's where the horn stuff...
That's where the horn button is on the steering wheel.
Yeah.
And the wire goes down, you know, underneath the dash.
It is surprising, though, because if he went to the trouble
of opening the hood...
Yes.
The horn is so easy to see,
and the wires are so easy to see.
It would have been the simple thing...
Well, he wouldn't want to do the simple thing.
He wanted to do something that would teach you a lesson.
Oh, so he was...
Even though he was half asleep, he wasn't that...
Half asleep.
No, he believed me,
but the time you got down there,
he wasn't half asleep at all.
He was wide awake.
He was wide awake.
So if you can't find a ticket to the dealer
and ask the parts guy at the dealership,
you may even call him the phone,
where the horn relay is located,
and I bet you'll find it unplugged.
Ah, the relay.
Otherwise, just ask your neighbor because he did it.
Well, no, he's a big guy.
I don't know.
So you know who did it?
Oh, I'm...
He's looking at me with the skull.
Yeah, no, he...
It wasn't an accident that he knew.
He knows.
Just say, all right, I give up.
Yeah.
Sometimes you have to just confront.
Play stupid.
Yeah.
So you're not going to believe this.
I don't understand it.
Somebody must have opened my hood,
and they did something to my horn.
Well, that's good.
That's good.
Yeah.
You know anything about cars?
Would you take a look?
And stand back and guess he slams the door in your face.
You don't want to get a broken nose out of this.
Good luck, man.
Hey, thanks a lot, guys.
Bye.
Bye.
It's so long, you're up.
All right.
It's time to think a short break.
And when we come back, my brother will present this week's...
Exciting!
New puzzle.
You do have a new puzzle, right?
How long is this break?
Minute.
Support for this podcast and the following message
come from Betterment.
Don't just imagine a better future.
Start investing in one with Betterment.
Betterment helps people and small businesses
put their money to work by automating
to make saving simpler, optimizing to make investing smarter,
and building innovative technology
backed by financial experts.
So be invested in yourself.
Be invested in your business.
Be invested in better with Betterment at Betterment.com.
Investing involves risk.
Performance not guaranteed.
This message comes from GiveWell.
When you give to a nonprofit, how do you measure success?
What is the real impact on people's lives?
GiveWell research is the highest impact opportunities
around the world.
Over 150,000 donors have confidently used GiveWell's research,
collectively saving and estimated 300,000 lives.
Make a tax deductible donation at givewell.org.
First time donors can have their donation
matched up to $100 as long as matching funds last.
Select Podcast and NPR at checkout.
This message comes from MintMobile.
At MintMobile, their favorite word is no.
No contracts, no monthly bills, no hidden fees.
Plan started $15 a month.
Make the switch at MintMobile.com slash switch.
That's MintMobile.com slash switch.
Upfront payment of $45 for three month five gigabyte plan required.
Equivalent to $15 a month.
New customer offer for first three months only.
Then full price plan options available.
Taxes and fees extra.
See MintMobile for details.
This message comes from Carvana.
Buy a car 100% online at Carvana.com
with financing to fit your budget.
Enjoy seven days to return if it's not a fit.
Limitations and exclusions may apply.
See return policy at Carvana.com.
Hey for your T-shirt wear is out there.
All relatives of T-shirt wear is we just got a veritable
shipload that's shiploaded with a P of new Car Talk T-shirts
at the Shameless Commerce Division.
The folks there made a great series of T-shirts
out of their favorite Car Talk quotes.
So in addition to the classics, you know, don't drive like my brother.
Do we cheat him in how you can now get Car Talk T-shirts?
Let's say for instance, if money can fix it, it's not a problem.
Life is too short to drive boring cars.
Do it while you're young.
You may never have a chance to do anything this stupid again.
Reality often astonishes theory or happiness
equals reality minus expectation.
How about this one?
Lousy Car Advice since 1977 and many, many more.
If you'd like one or want one to ship to a friend or relative,
you don't really like just head over to ShamelessCommerce.com.
That's ShamelessCommerce.com.
Ha!
Will you stop waking me up like that?
We're back. Listen to Car Talk with us.
Click and collect the Tapper Brothers.
And we hear to discuss cars, car repair, and the new puzzle.
It's good to be back into the swings.
Is it?
It's for so many months.
You said the puzzle is on vacation.
It was so depressing now.
The puzzle was so happy though being on vacation.
It was.
So were you.
I'm torn this week because I have a lot of potentially lousy puzzles
I could use it.
And you may have noticed that I'm working up to the good ones.
You didn't actually notice that trend yet.
It's hard to have a trend when you only have what?
One puzzle under the belt.
Yeah, okay.
Here it is.
The other night I had a gastrointestinal attack
in the middle of the night.
Really?
Well, it may have had something to do with that double-in-chovey pepperoni pizza
I had at 11 o'clock.
Does have.
Or the cheesecake I ate out of the freezer an hour later.
But in the middle of the night I wake up moaning and groaning, clutching my stomach
and I find myself at the medicine chest looking for some medicinal relief.
And I pull out the bottle of the stuff which I can recognize by its shape and color.
And lo and behold, I can't read the infinitesimally small print on the bottle.
Yeah.
So I go clutching my stomach.
I make my way to the bedroom and find my glasses on the dresser.
And I come back and I put them on and even with my glasses.
You can't read it.
I still can't read it.
The print is just too small and I'm in agony now.
You read it to just swizzle it down.
You got to swizzle it down.
I'm moaning and groaning and I don't want to take the wrong dose
because too little is as bad as too much.
Yeah.
No, it isn't.
No.
And to make matters even worse as I'm bent over in pain.
My glasses fall off my head and they break in half.
Oh, I said, that's it.
I'm going to just die right here on the bathroom floor.
Unless I'm fortunate enough that my moaning wakes up another member of the household.
I hope.
I hope.
And all you can hear was three people yelling, shut up about it.
That's about it.
That's about it.
And yet a minute later, I was tucked in bed, tucked under the covers,
having taken the correct dosage.
Yeah.
How did I?
How did I do it?
Nobody will come to help you.
Nobody.
All you have is what you have.
You have all the facts.
Now, if you think you know the answer, write that answer on the back of a $20 bill
and send it to Puzzlet Tower, Card Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge,
our Fair City, Matt 02238, or of course, you can email your answer
from the card talk section of cars.com.
If you'd like to call us at numbers 1-888, card talk that's 888-2782-555.
Hello, you're on card talk.
Hi.
Yeah, who's this?
This is Diana from Mishawak, Indiana.
Hi, Diana.
How are you?
Mishawak.
Mishawakka.
Mishawakka.
Oh, yeah.
Indiana?
Uh-huh.
Got it.
Got it.
Okay.
What's up?
We have a 1985 Dodge fan.
And it is producing a smell that if bottled could probably be a new germ warfare.
Really?
You said a van.
It's like a B-150 van or something.
This is a full-size van.
Right.
Three-quarter-ton has 170,000 miles on it.
Okay.
Okay, I'm with you.
And it's got the carburetor standard, Chrysler electronic ignition, no computer.
Good.
V8 engine.
Oh, yeah.
Now this occurs about 20 to 30 minutes after a prolonged idle period or 15 minutes tops
on the open road.
And this smell is like nothing you have ever smelled.
It's not.
It comes on slowly, but it could eliminate the mosquito population as we know it.
So if it is nothing like a smell we've ever experienced, how are you going to describe it to us?
What's the closest thing in our experience to it?
Is it like rotten eggs?
On a scale of 1 to 10, rotten eggs would be a 1 to 10.
It would be a 10.
Okay.
It's like a nauseating sewer gas now.
Okay.
Have you ever been in an enclosed area with my brother?
No.
Is it like that?
No.
That would be a 7 on your scale.
No, I'm in trouble, guys.
I definitely need your help.
What could this be?
It was the onset of this abrupt.
That's exactly right.
It has it abated at all.
Well, here is the mystery.
This is why I'm depending on you guys.
Oh, man.
This is the mystery.
First of all, we just checked everything.
We've gone through a tune-up.
Everything's been changed.
Spark plugs, wires, distributor rotor.
They had a compression test.
Everything.
How about a small test?
Do you have a small test or an emissions test?
In Indiana, I don't you care about the planet.
No, they just pull it into the farm yard and say,
I'm going to use hogs, keel over.
Right.
And at the present time, I could wipe out an entire bar.
So this might be like a 10 hog.
Absolutely.
Oh, that's how they measure out the kilo, what the 10?
The number of hogs that keel over.
Oh, right.
And they put those, they put the little symbols on your windshield.
Three hogs.
That's exactly right.
Six hogs.
Oh, God.
Well, there goes a state.
But now, guys, I've got a clue for you.
Yeah.
At 49,000 miles, they put in a fish oil additive into my transmission oil.
Yeah.
Do you think maybe it's?
Well, yeah.
Oh, I got it.
Oh, I got it.
Do you really?
I got it.
You're going to ask her the one question that's going to pull it right off.
Is that it?
Yeah.
You're going to say to her something that you want you to say.
I got it.
Sometimes you say, when was the accident?
Right.
What would you like the accident to be?
Yeah.
When did you have the radiator replaced?
Here's the question.
How often do you add automatic transmission fluid to it?
Never.
That was the only thing.
Would you like to reconsider?
No, that wasn't a good question.
It is a good question because this fish oil additive.
But now, the additive was put in at 49,000 miles and I have over 170 on it.
That ain't it.
No, it isn't.
All right.
Well, let's just say it's a horrible disgusting garbagey smell.
But you cannot pinpoint the smell.
I mean, it's not coming out of the tailpipe.
No, no.
And they did an entire check on it.
Check on our exhaust system.
There's no leaks.
So it seems to just envelop the whole vehicle.
Oh, tell me.
And where it's coming from is the outside of the exhaust system.
For example, if you had driven over a skunk who's guts got on the exhaust system
like the catalytic converter and the exhaust pipes, then every time the thing heated up and reached that critical temperature,
you would put more of this aroma into the air surrounding your vehicle.
But now we put a new exhaust system on it.
Everything new.
There goes that.
Why didn't replace everything?
You didn't go all the way from the engine.
You put the muffler and tailpipe on it.
Struggling.
I bet you didn't replace the converter.
No.
They didn't replace the converter.
No.
But if there was something wrapped around it, you don't...
No, he's with my original V.
Why am I lying there on there?
And the guy doesn't notice it.
Well, I'd argue with my notice.
But here's my original theory.
That one of the transmission cooler lines is actually leaking a small amount of transmission fluid onto the hot exhaust pipes.
That's why I thought you were going to ask her, when did you replace the radiator?
No, it's leaking right where the cooler lines run to the radiator.
They run to the radiator but they cross over the Y pipe.
Which is the pipe that connects to the engine.
I'm beginning to like this.
It ultimately leads to the catalytic converter.
I bet you.
That's where the smell is coming from.
And this fish guts that you put it.
It may be that it is leaking out one little drop at a time.
It just takes a drop.
From one of those transmission cooler lines and it's getting onto the hot exhaust pipe.
And that's making the spell.
I almost staked my brother's life on it.
Okay.
Here's the way to do it.
Very simply.
It knows on the day you'll know.
Take, pull out your dipstick.
Okay.
And with the engine, with the tailpipe, with the engine hot, in other words, the car's been running.
Put a drop of this on the hot tailpipe.
Okay.
And you should immediately get the smell which you were saying.
That's what you were so familiar with.
Okay.
And you will know then to go look for a leak from one of your transmission cooler lines.
Okay.
So I think that's it, Diana.
I like it.
I like it.
It's downstairs.
It was a struggle.
You were difficult.
Well, I have to force you.
I have to force you to come up with the most creative and most credible.
Be they BS or not answers.
You guys, you guys, this is terrific.
I have no problem coming up with answers.
It's getting them past the answer.
It's the explanations that have always been my downfall.
But I think I may have hit it here.
Great.
Good luck, Diana.
Thanks so much, guys.
Well, she's going to be on top of the shot.
Oh, no.
No.
They're going to call into her already.
Well, it's happened again.
You've squandered another perfectly good hour listening to Card Talk.
Our steam producer is Doug.
The subway fugitive, not a slave to fashion bourman.
Our social producer is Ken the diaper slayer rogers.
Our system producer is Fraud Catherine Fennelosa.
Our engineer is Dennis the Menace Foley.
They're so cruel, Catherine.
Oh, man.
Our senior Weblackie is Doug Mayer.
And our menu advisor is the Bugsdirt John Bugsie.
Did somebody say free lunch?
Lawler.
Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research,
assisted by statistician Margin Overa.
Margin Overa.
Our daylight savings time manager is Conrad Adenauer,
who's assisted by a director of standard time,
read our backup.
Tom's personal matchmaker is Robin D. Cradle.
Our sexual harassment counselor is Pat McCann.
Riley.
He's back.
Pat's back, baby.
Our director of psychophantic activity is Ilene your way.
Our chief counsel from the law firm will do it.
Sheed him in how you lose.
Do it.
No to the beat cops.
As you do it, do it.
Thanks so much for listening.
We're clicking.
Collect the topic, brothers.
And don't drive like my brother.
Don't leave.
Drive like my brother.
We'll be back next week.
Bye-bye.
And now, here in the studio is Card Talk Blosses Chief Mechanic.
Thank you very much.
Now, if you want a copy of this year's show,
which is number 40, just pick up your phone.
Forty.
What did that happen?
You called this number 1-888-God-Junk.
And what if I wanted a Card Talk CD,
or the Puzzle Book Vinnie?
I mean, would I call that same number?
No, you call like Harmon Killinburg.
Of course, you're called the same number.
You dope.
You're called the Shameless Commerce Division,
at 888-God-Junk,
or visit it online at the Card Talk section
of cars.com.
Thank you, Vity.
That was quite mind-opening.
Hey, would you mind-opening this?
Card Talk is a production of Dewey Cheedham and How
and the WBOR Imposter.
And even though Daniel Shaw thinks wistfully about that offer
to host when animals attack,
what will we say?
This is NPR National Public Radio.
Support for this podcast
and the following message come from Lisa.
Lisa mattresses are meticulously designed and assembled
in the USA for exceptional quality.
The entire lineup offers premium materials
and full-body support for restorative sleep.
Lisa has been recognized as best hybrid mattress
by New York Times' Wirecutter.
Lisa includes free shipping, easy returns,
and a 120-night sleep trial.
Right now, you can receive 25% off mattresses.
Visit leessa.com and use promo code NPR
for an extra $50 off.
This message comes from Granger.
For the ones who get it done,
Granger offers access to over a million products
and the scale to deliver when and where you need them.
The right tools and supplies are never far away.
Call, click Granger.com or just stop by.
This message comes from Capital One Commercial Bank.
Access comprehensive solutions from a top commercial bank
that prioritizes your needs today and goals for tomorrow.
Learn more at capitalone.com slash commercial.
Member FDIC.
About this episode
Diana from Indiana calls in with a perplexing issue regarding her 1985 Dodge van, which emits a noxious smell reminiscent of sewer gas after prolonged idling or driving. The Tapper brothers dive into a humorous yet insightful diagnosis, suggesting the odor may stem from a leaking transmission cooler line onto the exhaust system. The episode is filled with light-hearted banter, car advice, and a puzzler that keeps the listeners engaged. The mix of automotive wisdom and comedic relief makes for an entertaining hour.
Original notes
Diana’s dyin’ to ditch her Dodge unless our dummies can decode her dilemma: a smell so bad that it almost defies description. Hold your nose and open your ears for this episode of the Best of Car Talk.
Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoices
NPR Privacy Policy
0:00
36:26