#2623: Virtual Dopeslaps
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34:48
Term
oil change
An oil change is when the old engine oil is removed and replaced with new oil. It keeps the engine running smoothly and helps protect it from wear.
Term
service manager
A service manager is the person in charge of the shop’s service work. If something goes wrong or a job wasn’t handled properly, they’re often the one who steps in.
Term
emergency brake
Your emergency brake is the brake you use when the car is parked. It’s different from the brake pedal you use while driving, and it helps keep the car from rolling when you stop.
Term
keeps the pedal high
“Pedal high” refers to brake pedal position/travel—when the rear drum brakes are properly adjusted, the pedal doesn’t need to travel as far. Poor adjustment can cause extra pedal travel and a “low” or mushy pedal feel.
Term
adjust the brakes
“Adjust the brakes” refers to setting the correct clearance between brake components so the brakes work properly and don’t drag. On some older or cable/lever parking-brake systems, the adjustment can be done by cycling the handbrake or using an adjustment mechanism.
Term
backfires
A backfire is when your car makes a loud pop or bang, sometimes with flames. It usually means fuel is igniting in the wrong place, like in the exhaust, often when you change throttle.
Term
flames
Flames from the exhaust mean extra fuel is burning outside the engine. It’s usually a sign something is off with how the car is running.
Term
tailpipe
The tailpipe is where exhaust comes out. If you see flames there, it usually means fuel is burning in the exhaust instead of in the engine.
Term
ignition system
The ignition system is the part of the car that makes the spark to start combustion in the engine. If it’s not working right, the engine can misfire and feel like it’s running rough.
Term
Subaru Boxer engine
A “Boxer” engine is Subaru’s flat-style engine. The pistons move left and right, and the design can help the car feel balanced and stable.
Term
turbocharged
A turbocharger is like a power booster. It squeezes more air into the engine so it can make more power, especially when you need it.
Term
X-Mode
X-Mode is Subaru’s off-road mode. It helps the car manage traction so you can drive more confidently on slippery or rough ground.
Term
traction
Traction is how much grip the tires have on the road. If traction is low (like on snow or loose dirt), the car can spin or slide unless systems help manage it.
Term
brakes had failed
“Brakes had failed” means the car couldn’t slow down or stop. If the towed car can’t brake, it may keep rolling and hit the car in front when that car stops.
Term
brake lights
Brake lights are the red lights that turn on when you press the brake pedal. They tell the car behind you that you’re slowing down, so they can react too.
Car
1990 Chevy Lumina APV
This is a Chevrolet minivan from 1990. Sarah uses it to drive clients around for her job, so it’s the main car being discussed. The “APV” is just the specific minivan version name Chevrolet used.
Term
136,000 miles
“Miles” here is the odometer reading, a key indicator of how much wear a vehicle has accumulated. For older cars used for frequent short trips—like shuttling clients to showings—mileage plus driving pattern can matter as much as age. Listeners often use mileage to gauge expected maintenance needs and risk of failures.
Concept
leaving the car running
Sometimes people leave the car running so it doesn’t have to restart. That can hide a problem, but it doesn’t actually solve what’s wrong with the car.
Car
Chevette
A Chevette is an older, more basic Chevrolet. The joke is that the speaker would prefer a plain, no-frills car over a fancy one used to impress people.
Term
battery was dead
A dead battery means there wasn’t enough power to start the boat. In this case, the lights were left on and drained the battery.
Term
running lights
Running lights are the lights that help other people see the boat. If you leave them on too long, they can drain the battery.
Term
starter spins up
When the starter “spins up,” it means it’s getting power and trying to crank. If it still won’t start, the starter may not be grabbing the engine correctly.
Concept
diagnostic process (bench test vs installed behavior)
They’re using a smart troubleshooting method: test the part by itself, then put it back and see if the problem returns. If it only fails when installed, the issue is often how the parts meet up, not just the part alone.
Concept
window fogging (condensation)
When the inside air is warm and humid and the windows are cooler, moisture turns into tiny droplets and makes the glass look foggy. It’s basically the same thing as fogging up a bathroom mirror.
Term
heat on seat
Heated seats warm the person sitting in the seat. They don’t necessarily clear the windows, so you can still get fogging if the front HVAC isn’t helping.
Term
vents
Vents are the openings where the car blows heated or cooled air. If you shut off the front vents, the windshield may not get enough warm air to stay clear.
Concept
condenses immediately
When the windshield is really cold, the moisture in the air turns into tiny droplets right away. That’s what causes fog.
Term
gasoline
They’re talking about how much gas costs. When gas is expensive, it changes how people think about driving and what cars they buy.
Term
$10 a gallon
They’re using a price per gallon to show how expensive gas can get. It’s just a way to compare costs.
Term
a buck and a half
They mean gas is really cheap here—around $1.50 per gallon. The cheaper gas makes driving feel less painful.
Term
fill up your tank
They’re talking about buying enough gas to fill the tank. It’s used to compare how expensive it is to fuel up.
Company
Cars.com
Cars.com is a website where people shop for cars. Here, they’re just saying you can find the Car Talk show item through that site.
LIVE
These days, it feels like the news changes every hour.
Well, NPR has a podcast that does that too.
NPR News Now brings you a fresh five-minute episode every hour of the day,
with the latest most important headlines in episodes that are clear,
fact-based, and easy to digest.
Listen to NPR News Now on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hello and welcome to Choir Talk from National Public Radio,
with us clicking-clack-the-tap-it brothers, and we're broadcasting this week
from the newsroom here at Choir Talk Plaza.
No, we had one.
Well, we didn't until yesterday.
Now, we know that all things considered in Morning Edition can't cover every story that's out there.
I mean, it's just impossible, right?
So, in the interest of public service, here are a few headlines from last year
that our premier news shows probably missed.
These are real headlines from Newspaces.
Yeah, yeah.
Here's one.
Police begin campaign to run down Jaywalkers.
How about this?
Panda-making fails.
Veterinarian to take over.
Miners refuse to work after death.
I mean, they all make sense.
How about this one?
Astronaut takes blame for gas and space.
I like this one here.
When making cookies, include your children.
That's it.
Well, you know, I'm sure after these things were printed, the authors must have said,
oh, did I write that?
Well, you know, it's interesting that there's a certain skill to writing headlines,
because there are words used that you don't normally use.
And the arrangement of words is different.
And you screw up by a little bit by just moving something.
Yeah, well, we do it every week.
We do it every week.
Anyway, if you have an urgent bulletin about your car for us,
the number is 888-KART-TALK that's 888-8227-8255.
Hello, you're on KART-TALK.
This is Jeannie.
I'm calling from Montgomery, Alabama.
Hi, Jeannie.
Like an iDream of?
Hey, you got it.
That's me.
I wish I had the bod to go along with it, but...
Anyway, what's going on, Jeannie?
Well, I have a 92 Oldsmobile Achiva.
And it's got almost 150,000 miles on it.
So I take it in for oil change and check up.
I try to take care of it, right?
Well, I mentioned to the guys, the mechanics,
that it seemed the brakes were going down a little closer to the floor
than they had been.
And I just had the brakes replaced six months previously.
They did it.
The mechanic guys, it's no problem.
We'll check it out for you.
So then I come back to pick up my car.
I said, do you guys check out my brakes?
Oh, we forgot.
So then this little manager mechanic.
Manager mechanic.
Like the service manager.
Yes.
Yeah, but little.
That's it.
Oh, man.
Dementive and stature or ability.
Both.
Oh, I've been driving legally longer than he's been alive.
Oh, young, too.
Oh, and he's not touched my car, not looked at my car,
and he immediately says to me,
do you use your emergency brake every day?
And I said, no.
I don't live on a hill.
I don't work on a hill.
I generally am on flat land.
I'm in Alabama, not San Francisco.
And he says, it doesn't matter.
You should use your emergency brake every day
in order to keep your brakes up to factory specs.
And you didn't believe him because he's a little twerp.
Well, of course.
And I know the only way to keep him the factory specs is
don't use them.
Well, that is that's sure far away.
That's true.
Anyway, I get back to the office and nobody here at the office
has ever heard of this.
Has ever heard of that until this Schmoe who's been driving
longer than I have, says, well, of course,
you're supposed to use your emergency brake every time
you stop your car.
I said, you're a moron.
I'm not listening to you.
Jeannie, you're not making this any easier.
I can't have it.
Nothing y'all do is easy, is it?
No, not really.
Other guys say, you know, you drive backwards and that will
help set the brakes or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
So anyway, what I need from you.
We know what you need.
Is, yeah, corroboration.
Exactly.
And a major dope slap.
And I do not want to be the one to have to take it.
Well, you might.
I'd brace myself if I were you.
You say your emergency brake every day
whether it's no matter what.
Well, I will be the first to admit that I don't think I
have I never I have ever used my emergency brake certainly
on a daily basis.
Although I do use it in my cold vista
because it's a stick shift car.
Exactly.
Okay.
Mine's an automatic.
But in automatic cars that I've driven,
I have hardly ever used the emergency brake,
except for that once a year when you go for your state
inspection and the fellow says put your handbrake on.
You say, what?
Where is it?
Where is it?
But it is true that on many, many cars,
applying the handbrake does actuate the adjusting mechanism
for the rear brakes.
It actuates them.
It actually turns the little star wheel.
Just like it.
The other guy who told you that it happens when you back up.
Yeah.
When you back up and step on the brake,
the same thing happens.
It turns the adjuster.
Okay.
And makes the shoes get closer to the drum
and thus keeps the pedal high.
Well, so if I'm backing up every once in a while,
aren't I doing okay?
Well, yeah, but I suspect, like most people,
you back up and when you're before you step on the brake,
you slam it and drive and take off.
Tell the truth.
And even if you did do that,
it all it meant was that you didn't do it enough.
But if you don't want to use the emergency brake,
you can just go tell that little twerp
that you don't want to use the emergency brake.
You asked him to check the brakes.
They forgot to do it,
and they turned around to blame you for it.
They could have simply adjusted the brakes,
which is what you really asked them to do.
But on a lot of cars that have this mechanism,
you can adjust the brakes yourself
by sitting in your driveway or wherever
and just pulling on the handbrake and releasing it,
pulling on it, releasing it,
and you do that enough times
and it'll adjust the brakes.
Okay.
So you could do that, but I don't know.
So the business evolved like the morons and stuff.
We may not be able to award a dope slap.
I don't know.
Every day, I mean, I'm 44.
I didn't learn this in Driver's Ed.
They never said use your emergency brake every day.
No, because when you took Driver's Ed,
they were my average.
Watch it.
Watch it.
See you, Jeannie.
See you.
Bye, guys.
Good luck.
Talk about putting your foot in your mouth.
That's what happens when you go flying off the handle
without thinking, unencumbered by the thought process,
and pretty soon you got your foot firmly implanted.
Me like you do about every week.
Yeah, every day.
That's what you call sweeping generalizations.
Yes.
1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
Um, yeah, my name is Richard from New Orleans.
How you doing, Richard?
Oh, pretty good.
What's happening?
Well, I've got a 78 Toyota Land Cruiser.
My wife is named it Bam Bam.
Yeah.
And it backfires and you're driving it down the street
and it kind of hesitates and then it backfires.
And the problem is when it backfires, it's like a tank going off.
It shoots flames, which is kind of alarming to my neighbors
and people walking down the street and so forth.
And is it always backfire when you're accelerating?
No, because you can take your foot off the gas
and just kind of be cruising and the engine will start
kind of hesitating.
So it gives you a warning and then it backfires.
Does this, do you know if this thing has an air pump on the motor?
No, I do know it used to be a California emissions vehicle.
And all that stuff was clipped off.
Oh, not by me.
No, no, but of course not.
But you've owned it for a long enough time
so they didn't do this with all this stuff disconnected.
Now it's doing it.
Right.
I've had it about five years and for the first two or three years,
it didn't do this.
Man.
So how was Marty Garad this year?
Great.
Great.
You know, I remember, this may help you, when we were kids,
we used to do a kind of a fun thing.
Yeah, it was fun for us.
And we used to drive through the, at the time,
the Sumner Tunnel here in Boston, which was a two-lane tunnel.
One lane led from Boston to East Boston under the channel.
Yeah, directly north.
And take you, right, directly north to East Boston.
And would eventually take you to Logan Airport.
And this tunnel was, I don't know, is still there.
I don't know, a mile and a half long.
It's pretty long.
Yeah.
And when we were in the tunnel, which was partially downhill,
we would turn the ignition switch off for a second or two
and then turn it back on.
And scare the hell out of 10 guys behind.
The result would be the biggest explosion and ball of fire
coming out of your tailpipe, because what would happen is
while you would, had the key off, the pistons were still going
up and down and sucking gasoline into the cylinders.
And of course, the valves, exhaust valves are opening
and pushing that unburned gas into the exhaust system.
So now when you, when you got the key off, you're filling up
the cylinders and the exhaust system with unburned gas.
Isn't that great?
And as soon as you turn the key back on and that first spark occurred,
you would ignite not only the fuel in the cylinders,
which is what's supposed to happen, but a lot of that gasoline
that was trapped in that confining exhaust system,
and you would create a significant explosion.
And it may be then that you have a fault with your ignition system.
Even, even a bad switch could cause this, but I would think
it would be more likely would be intermittent spark.
And that's why you feel it beginning to miss.
Exactly, when you have the little miss, that's the equivalent of,
in my brother's example, turning off the ignition switch.
Yeah, because it does lose, it's almost like suddenly,
you know, somebody, all of a sudden you're pulling a boat or something.
Right. I think this, this thing has an electronic ignition system.
It has something called an igniter.
Probably.
Probably. I don't remember.
I haven't worked on a 78 Land Cruiser in a while,
but that would be the thing I'd be most likely to suspect.
That's the igniter.
I would just replace the igniter because no one's gonna be able
to figure out if it's any good because it's a transient problem, as we call it.
Yeah, but you might want to look at the switch first.
That's a lot cheaper. It may be easier to do.
Excellent.
But it is definitely, in my humble opinion, an ignition problem.
Good luck, Richard.
Thank you much, guys.
See ya.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
All right, Tommy, do you remember anything at all about last week's puzzler?
I didn't think so.
Well, it's just another in my series of Bedouin travel.
Oh, yes!
And I'll have the answer in just a minute, so stay tuned.
This message comes from Subaru.
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Hi, we're back.
You're listening to Car Talk with us.
Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers,
and we're here to talk about cars, car repair,
and the answer to last week's puzzler.
Yeah, let's go.
Well, this was another Bedouin travel puzzler
because you liked the first one so much.
I did like it. It was great. It was rotten.
Anyway, this Bedouin is driving home from work late one night
and his car breaks down.
We'll call him Fred, and he calls his brother and says,
Frank, I need help.
You've got to come rescue me.
My car broke down.
So many hours later, Frank shows up with his car and the tow rope.
Yeah. Right?
They assess the situation and the broken down Bedouin,
that is Fred, says, are you ready?
And the rescuing brother, Frank, says, I can't tow you home.
Fred says, well, that's okay. I'll tow you.
Huh? I mean, after all, the guy broke down.
He calls for help, and he's going to do the towing.
How could this possibly be?
Wow.
Well, the way it could possibly be,
the only scenario I can envision is that Fred's brakes had failed.
So if, in fact, Frank had tried to tow him home,
he'd be crashing into him every time he stopped.
Sonya, he's too too.
On the other hand, if Fred is driving the broken car in the front,
and Frank steps on the brake,
and he steps on, no, and he steps on the brake,
the brother will see the brake lights and no enough
to step on the brake light, to top of the brake himself
and slow both cars down.
Because the rope will pull.
Until the rope breaks.
I didn't, that's next week.
Man, that's very good.
Do we have a winner this week?
No, nobody won.
Yeah, we got a winner.
They were so disgruntled over last week.
See, now that's a good puzzler.
That's good.
Look, I realized there is,
there is not an abundance of good puzzlers out there.
So you can't go shooting your ward the first,
you know, 10 years of the show.
No, you gotta.
You gotta go for the long run.
And you gotta intersperse a couple of stinkers in there.
And more than that, it makes people really appreciate
the few good ones that come along every once in a while.
Sure, I mean, don't forget, even the best of hitters.
That's only like 300.
That's right.
In baseball.
And everyone thinks he's a hero and a star.
And he makes $4.9 million a year.
Don't forget that part.
And don't forget that part.
Yeah.
So if you hit one out of three, that's pretty good.
Of course, you're about one out of 10.
But the winner is Victoria Laudis from Douglaston, New York.
And for having her answer selected at random
from among all those thousands of correct answers
that we got, Victoria's gonna get a $25 gift certificate
to Cartok's Shameless Commerce Division.
With this $25, she can get a beautiful four-color
10th anniversary Cartok t-shirt,
which is now in its third year of printing.
That's how we keep track of this,
because we know that the t-shirt is 10 years.
We're in our 13th year.
So that there you go.
Put it all together.
Which reminds me, we do need a new t-shirt.
We should have another t-shirt contest coming up pretty soon.
Put that on the list of things we have to discuss
during the week, if you would, please.
Right after this week's episode of Buffing.
Good.
Anyway, we'll have a new, I'm gonna call this...
On a mode of anon.
Well, quasi.
Historic, unknown, historic.
Folkloric, unknown, folkloric.
B.S. with that.
Lousy, not lousy.
Maritime.
Excellent.
We'll have a new maritime puzzler coming up
in the third half of today's show.
Transportation, at least.
It is transportation.
So stay tuned for that.
In the meantime, you can call us and ask us questions
about anything, even your car.
The number is 1-888-CARTOK.
That's 888-2278-255.
Hello, you're on Cartok.
Hi there, my name is Sarah,
and I live in the other Vancouver,
the little one just north of Portland, Oregon,
in Vancouver, Washington.
Oh, yes, we've heard of it.
Oh, yeah.
Hi, Sarah.
Do you have an H at the end of your name, Sarah?
No, I have a short form.
Yes, I wrote it down that way.
I could just tell from the way you spoke.
So what's going on, Sarah?
Well, I have a 1990 Chevy Lumina APV minivan.
It's 136,000 miles on it.
Oh, really?
Bless you.
Good.
The biggest problem is I'm a realtor.
Well, that's a problem in itself.
But anyway, I'm a realtor,
and I use his car to shuffle people around in.
And here's the scenario.
People get in my car, and I go to the first house.
Maybe 10 minutes of good driving.
And we go in and look at the house.
Now, if we come out in less than seven minutes.
It won't start.
And get back in the car.
No, no, it starts great.
But if we're in the house longer than about seven minutes,
between seven minutes to maybe 45 minutes,
we get in the car, it starts,
and then it goes, run, run, run, and it stops.
Well, this makes me look a little foolish.
It's almost as though I'm trying to say to them,
well, you like this house enough to stay in 10 minutes or more.
You must want to ride an offer.
So we'll sit here until you do.
Yeah, that's good.
Now, I took it into my dealership
when this started happening two months ago.
And I ended up spending $800 on a new distributor
and drove the car off and went to see a house
and got back in the car.
And guess what?
Yeah.
The same thing.
If you're driven at high speed,
will it go all day at high speed?
Yeah, it runs great.
And actually, having a new distributor
did make it run pepier and everything,
but it didn't cure this problem.
Yeah.
And then what happens when you shut it off?
Can you then restart it?
Oh, yes.
You know, if I rush my people through the showing
and say, hurry, hurry, get back in the car.
You know, start the car, it goes just great.
But if they like the house and stick around,
then they're stuck.
You know, I keep, I have to try it several times.
Have you considered leaving the car running?
Exactly what I was thinking.
I mean, that's the one way to solve that problem.
Just leave the thing running.
You can get yourself another key and lock it up
and leave it running with the air conditioner on.
You can tell people, I'm leaving it on
so that it'll stay, eat a warmer cold,
depending on the weather outside.
And they won't even notice that you're driving
a 25-year-old car that's fallen apart
and therefore are a complete failure
as a real estate agent.
Well, that's always a difficult decision
if you are a real estate agent.
I remember once being shown a house
by a real estate agent who was driving
the fanciest Mercedes.
Yeah.
You're always, always suspicious.
Well, it bothered me that all she was really doing
was opening the front door.
And the house was selling itself.
And I was disturbed, but I would rather
have been driving a chvette.
You think that, but all the little nuances
of how she presents the house.
Which room she takes you into first,
the fresh-cut flowers, the mulled cider.
The big bread.
On the stove.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She did all of that.
I guess so.
So that's the way they do it in Boston, huh?
Yeah, that's how they do it.
Exactly.
They make it feel like a home of fire
in the fireplace.
Yeah.
And the fresh cookies baking in this kind of.
Fresh cookies.
Exactly.
Chocolate chip cookies baking.
It's just wealthy.
Classical music playing very, very softly.
Maybe if I carry fresh cookies
and play the music softly in my car,
they wouldn't notice it stuck in the driveway.
That's just a joke.
I think these guys were on the right track
when they said you, when they replaced the distributor.
But I mean, I don't know what exactly
they replaced the distributor for,
but they must have thought that you weren't getting spark.
And I think so too.
But I think it's either the coil or the ignition module.
Yeah, I like that.
I think it's one of those two pieces.
And what happens is you get what's called a hot soak condition
where these pieces are soaking up the heat from under the hood.
And if you catch the thing at the right time,
in other words, during that period where it won't start,
it's because they've absorbed enough heat from the engine
that they create an open circuit in themselves.
And then when they cool off, the thing starts up again.
And as long as you continue to drive it,
you can probably keep the temperature down,
believe it or not, below that certain level.
Because the engine compartment gets hottest
after you've shut off the engine
because you got all that heat that was generated
and you got no cooling going on.
And you're not moving either.
The fan isn't turning anymore.
The coolant isn't flowing through the cooling system anymore
because everything has stopped, but the heat,
the latent heat is just coming out and heating up everything.
And that's why it happens after five or 10 minutes.
And I bet you this problem will be worse in the real hot weather.
By the time the summer comes,
the length of time that it's dead will be longer.
It's got to be, I think,
one of the two things that my brother mentioned.
It's either the coil or the ignition module.
Okay.
And I never wait for the first real warm day,
take it into them and have them fix it
because they'll get it to perform for them.
Good luck, Sarah.
Great. Thank you so much.
See ya.
Good luck.
Bye.
Hey, are you ready for the new puzzler?
Yeah, I'm ready.
I am ready.
Oh, I'm not really.
I need a minute to work on my obfuscational material.
Ah.
So tell everyone we'll be back in a minute.
All right, we'll be back in a minute.
Ha! We're back.
You're listening to Car Talk with us,
Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers,
and we're here to discuss cars, car repair,
and the new puzzler.
Did I say this was a maritime?
A marathon.
You alluded to maritime something or other.
Well, there's nothing to do with Bedouins.
No, it doesn't.
Regrettably.
However, this came...
Not even ships of the desert?
No, no, no.
This is ships of the sea.
This came across my desk recently.
94.
And I don't know if this is true or not,
but it's never stopped me in the past.
Never.
Nor will it in the future.
Actually, this was sent in by,
I don't know who sent it in.
You can't tell.
You can't tell.
No, it comes from cyberspace,
and no one knows who sends it.
Someone from Juno.com, but that's about it.
That's all right.
Here we go.
He or she says...
Oh, name.
Dale.
Dale.
Good.
He or she.
Still don't know if it's he or she.
I used to work at a marina
where we stored and launched boats
with an overhead crane,
and occasionally cut the motor mount
so they could boat them.
Drop the boat.
It wasn't going to work with the boat.
No, no.
It's a problem.
It's a problem.
Anyway, we had a repair shop
with about five mechanics,
parts department,
and a new and used boat sales department.
I think I visited there once.
I love it already.
One day, a customer used his inboard boat
for water skiing
and left it parked at the dock overnight.
He came in to use it the next morning,
and the battery was dead.
He had left his running lights on.
So the head mechanic pulls the battery out
and takes it to the shop for a quick charge.
A while later, they take the battery back to the boat.
They put it in and try to start it.
The starter spins up.
You can hear the motor turn,
but it doesn't engage the flywheel.
It started flying several times
just the day before
that the owner of the boat says,
you know,
so this could possibly be wrong now.
So they pull the starter off,
figuring the start is no good.
And they put it on the bench in the shop,
and everything looked okay.
In fact, they tested it.
It jumped right up.
It worked perfectly.
The gear popped out.
The thing spun.
So they put it back in the boat.
Again, it spins up,
but doesn't engage the flywheel.
Yeah, got it.
An hour later, they figured it out.
An hour?
Yeah.
During which time they were what?
Having coffee,
smoking cigars.
Exactly.
And the hour has nothing whatsoever
to do with much of anything.
Okay.
Maybe.
Maybe has nothing.
An hour later, they figured out what was wrong
and did they fix it?
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah, they fixed it.
And in fact, all the hints are here,
but there was nothing wrong with the motor.
The starter motor.
There was nothing wrong with the engine.
We know that.
And there was nothing wrong with the battery.
Oh, really?
I think.
If you think you know the answer,
write it on a postcard,
or a bird's eye maple handmade dining room set
with six chairs, please.
Can you mail that?
Hey, why not?
Why not?
You can mail just about anything else.
You may have to take the legs off.
You may have to take the legs off
so I can get through the machine.
And send that dining room set to Puzzler Tower,
Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500,
Harvard Square, Cambridge.
Outfit City.
02238, or you can email your answer
from the Car Talk section of cars.com
if you'd like to call us as always.
Our number is 1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 8882-278-255.
Yeah.
Hello.
You're on Car Talk.
Hi.
My name is Sean Mitchell,
and I'm from Maine, New York.
Sean?
Yes.
SCAN?
Where the heck is Maine, New York?
Well, I tell you what.
If you find out, would you send somebody out?
Get me out of here.
We promise.
My husband got transferred up here about seven months ago,
and I am so lost.
And you're from what, North Carolina?
Oh, I wish I was.
No, I'm from Kansas, overland park Kansas.
Is your husband in the military?
No, my husband's an information technologist.
He's a spy.
They sent us home to the mothership.
Well, if we find out where it is,
we will send a rescue team out there.
Well, yeah, I would really appreciate it.
So what's going on?
Well, it's not my car.
It's my husband's car.
Yeah, it's always somebody else's car.
It's a 1990 Audi Quattro.
It's an eight-cylinder car.
I got you.
Now, my husband likes me, but he loves this car.
Yeah.
Now, when we lived in Kansas,
my husband didn't have a problem with his car.
But now that we're living in New York,
the windows are fogging.
And my husband tells me the reason the windows are fogging
is because I'm breathing too hard in the back seat.
You're going to tell him it's because of him.
Yeah.
He makes you so hot that you're panting for him.
I mean, I'm the only one in the back seat.
And the reason I have to ride in the back seat
is because he parks the car so close
so that the kids can't scratch it,
you know, getting the bikes and the balls and everything.
Oh, so you have to get in on the same side as he does.
I do.
My son is in the front seat with him.
And he's narrowed it down.
There are at least three people in the car,
and he's narrowed it down to you breathing.
Because it's fogging back there.
Oh, it's not fogging in the front.
Well, you know, I'm so huddled down in the coat in the back
because he has no heat on seat.
But these guys sweat when they think hard.
So they never turn the heat on.
Yeah.
So he does have the heater on and the fan is blowing.
Yes.
But he has turned off the vents in the front.
Yes.
So you're only getting the heat in the back.
Yes.
So what do you want from us?
You want a recommendation of where to buy,
like, the best long underwear?
No, I already bought myself a fur coat.
There you go.
No, my brother-in-law says that he works for an automobile car.
He says the reason that it's foggy like that
is because he's got a crack in the cooling system.
Oh.
But if he does turn the heat on, does it fog up in the front?
You know what?
I don't know.
I've never seen the heat on in the front.
And what is he?
Some kind of neanderthal that doesn't turn the heat on?
He says his foot gets too hot and he can't drive.
Ask him to do this and this will solve your problem.
Tell him don't turn the heat on, hon, hon.
Turn on instead the defroster.
And if you turn on the defroster, it'll accomplish two things.
Number one, it will stop his foot from burning up
because the heat will be sent to the windshield.
And number two, it'll stop the car from fogging up
because it will turn on at the same time the air conditioner.
But it won't chill you.
What it will do is remove the moisture from the air,
from your panting.
Your panting because you're freezing.
But he tells me that it never fogged up
like this when we lived in Kansas.
Well, sure, because you don't have the severe weather conditions.
You don't have a six-degree windshield in Kansas.
When that windshield is cold, anything that hits it,
any moisture that hits it, condenses immediately.
It's like how your iced tea glass gets condensation
on the outside in the summer.
Yes.
Okay, because you have iced tea in the glass.
Just tell him, hon, we're not in Kansas anymore.
Well, I keep telling him that.
He keeps calling me Dorothy.
So do you think there's a crack in the cooling system?
No, I think the cracks are in his head.
Do you have another car?
I have my, no, just my van.
Just your van.
I mean, but he drives this all the time.
Do you have to go with him?
Well, when we go to church and that kind of thing.
Usually we go to separate cars.
Yeah, I'd start walking to church.
It's good to be healthy for you.
Well, over the river and through the woods here, you know.
Good luck, Sean.
You got a tough one there.
See you, bye-bye.
1-888-CAR-TALK that's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
This is Robert calling from Philadelphia.
Robert.
The city of brotherly love.
Yes, indeed.
What's going on, Robert?
Well, my question regards my automobile, which is a 1999 Chevy Tracker.
And it is the first stick shift that I've ever owned.
Oh, really?
Often, and I did this when I had automatic transmission cars,
I'll pop it into neutral and I'll just roll down a hill.
Or I'll cruise along the highway of this slight downward grade.
Yeah, in neutral.
And of course, it is so much more incentive to go into neutral in a stick shift,
because you might have to go into neutral to shift anyway.
Plus then, maybe you're working a little bit less.
And in my warped mind, I think I'm saving gas.
Well, the truth is, if you were to coast down a very long hill on the highway in neutral,
you would be saving gas.
Not very much, but it's pretty dangerous.
Yeah.
Why?
Well, for a lot of reasons.
Number one, I mean, it's not so much of a factor in modern cars,
but it's hard sometimes to get a car back into gear if you're going along in neutral
with your foot off the clutch at 60 miles an hour.
And in some cars-
You certainly wouldn't want to put it in neutral going down a long hill.
That would be a very bad idea, because the thing would just run away from you.
It would just go faster and faster and faster.
And then if you couldn't get it into gear, you'd be in big trouble.
And that's another reason that you wouldn't want the thing in neutral.
Plus you have no control over it either.
I mean, you're not getting any engine braking.
So if you are slowing down, you're really going to burn up the brakes a lot faster too.
Yeah.
And see, and every time now, even worse, every time you put it into neutral,
you probably step on the clutch.
And every time you step on the clutch, you're wearing out the clutch.
So whatever little you're saving in gas, you're wearing out the clutch.
Not to mention that little rubber pad that's on the clutch pedal.
I mean, those cost like 80 bucks.
That's right.
So you don't want to wear that out.
No, I think it's a bad habit to get into.
The only time I would be in neutral and coasting
is if I were going less than five miles an hour.
Don't do it.
It's not a great idea.
You're not saving much of anything.
And whatever you're saving, you're losing somewhere else.
It's dangerous.
It's a silly thing to do.
I mean, I understand.
I mean, I used to do this myself because you're so concerned
about saving a few pennies on gas.
But remember that they're practically giving the gasoline away.
Even in these days of high gasoline prices,
the stuff should cost $10 a gallon.
And they're selling it for a buck and a half.
See what you started here, Robert?
So be happy to give them the money.
It's nothing.
If you were in Italy, it would be costing you 150 bucks
to fill up your tank every time you went there.
Every year that you went there.
Every year that you went there.
So don't worry about it.
And that's why they're driving around vehicles
that are like 100 ccs.
You know, so yeah, just drive it.
Well, unlike the advice given to me by my parents,
I will take your advice.
All right, cool.
See you, Robert.
Thanks for calling.
Enjoy your tracker.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Well, it's happened again.
You've underutilized another perfectly good hour
listening to car talk.
Yeah.
You know, Vera, our customer care representative
is Heywood Jabuzov.
Our director of new product repair is Warren T. Myfoot.
Our audience estimator is Adam Millian.
And our shop foreman is Luke Busy.
Our Russian chauffeur is Peekov Indropov.
Our pseudonym consultant is Norm DePoen.
From the New Delhi office,
our blue squad coordinator is Muhammad Dunne Tolmy.
Our divorce attorney is Carmine, not yours.
Our proofreader is Aaron Spelling.
And our seat cushion tester is Mike Easter.
Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Cheetahman Howe.
As you Lewis Dewey,
known to the about to be audited professors
in Harvard Square, as you and Louie Dewey,
thanks so much for listening.
We're clicking clack the tappet brothers.
And remember, if you do nothing else,
don't drive like my brother.
Don't drive like my brother or my sister.
Especially.
We'll be back next week.
Bye-bye.
And now here is car talk plaza's chief mechanic,
Mr. Vinny Gumbaz.
Vinny.
Thank you very much.
Now, if you want to copy this year's show,
which is number 16,
you can get one on the web.
Just head on over to the car talk section,
the cars.com,
and order it there in the car talk store.
And Vinny, what if I wanted something else,
like the father's CD?
Why you should never listen to your father
when it comes to cars?
When I go to the same site to get that?
No, you go to www.chipmunksplayingpoker.com.
Of course, you go to the same site,
the car talk section, the cars.com,
or you'll order the old-fashioned way
by calling 888-CAD-JUNK.
Thank you so much, Vinny.
You have steered us once again in the right direction.
Hey, I got your steering wheel right here.
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About this episode
A mix of listener calls and classic Car Talk problem-solving: a 92 Oldsmobile owner argues with a service manager about whether you must use the emergency brake daily—turns out handbrakes can help adjust rear brakes, but the “every day” rule is overstated. Another caller’s 1978 Land Cruiser backfires with flame-like exhaust; the brothers suspect intermittent ignition (igniter/ignition switch). A 1990 Chevy Lumina minivan stalls after short stops, likely due to hot-soak ignition components. Between calls, they debate coasting in neutral on a manual and run a Bedouin-themed towing puzzler.
Original notes
Jeannie thinks she’s doing right by her Oldsmobile and taking it in for regular service checks. But recently, the garage service manager tells her that she’s hurting the car by not regularly exercising the parking brake. Should Jeannie be exercising her dopeslap technique on the disservice manager instead? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.
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