They’re joking about a made-up speed called the “speed of dark.” Darkness isn’t something that moves like light does, so it’s not a real measurement—just a funny bit.
Term
rack opinion system
This sounds like they’re talking about the steering rack—part of the steering system that helps turn the wheels. When it goes bad, the car can feel loose or the steering can act weird, and sometimes fluid leaks happen too.
A “rebuilt” steering system typically means used components are disassembled, inspected, and repaired or replaced, then reassembled and sold with a limited warranty. Rebuilt parts can be cost-effective, but warranty length and quality control can vary, which is why the caller is frustrated about the short coverage.
The steering rack is the main mechanism that turns your steering input into the wheels turning left or right. A bad rack usually makes steering feel consistently hard, not just in one direction.
Concept
diagnosing by "hard spots" vs constant stiffness
They’re basically using the “feel” of the steering to guess what’s wrong. If it’s uneven—hard in some positions and easy in others—that often points to a part that’s sticking, not the main steering gear.
It’s the part that connects your steering wheel to the steering system. If it gets stuck or corroded, your steering can feel stiff in one direction and not the other.
Some steering connections are designed to move a little while still turning the wheels. If water gets in and it rusts or seizes, it can stop moving properly and make steering feel uneven.
Concept
replace the rack vs replace the coupling
They’re talking about repair strategy. If the problem is likely the smaller connection (the coupling), replacing the whole rack may cost more than needed.
A Volkswagen Fox is a small car. The caller is saying his 1993 Fox would randomly lose power and almost stall, and it kept happening every few hundred miles.
If someone says “you’ve got fuel in the engine,” it usually means gas is getting there. So the issue might be something else—like a sensor or wiring problem—rather than the car not getting fuel at all.
The fuel pump’s job is to send gas to the engine. If it’s weak or failing, the engine may not get enough fuel and can start running rough or lose power.
Sometimes car problems aren’t constant—they happen randomly. The caller is saying static electricity and wiring issues can mess up sensor readings, so the car runs fine for a bit and then suddenly acts up.
The airflow sensor tells the computer how much air the engine is pulling in. If the wiring harness for that sensor is damaged or faulty, the computer can get wrong information and the car can run badly or lose power.
This is basically “wiggle-test” behavior—touching things to see if the problem changes. If the car acts up only when you touch certain wiring or parts, it points to an electrical connection problem.
They’re wondering if a buildup of static electricity could have damaged the sensor’s internal electronics. If the sensor is already damaged, fixing the wiring alone won’t help.
Concept
lay hands on the hood
They joke about someone “laying hands” on the car, but then they try to explain it in a normal way. The key detail is that the car is turned off for about 30 seconds, which could reset something in the electronics.
Topic
side-of-road safety on busy freeways
This segment focuses on how to handle a breakdown or emergency on a freeway safely, including where passengers should exit and how to minimize exposure to traffic. It’s a practical safety discussion rather than a mechanical one.
Concept
open the hood on the roadside
They’re talking about what to do when you’re stuck on a busy road. Instead of both people standing around in traffic, one person stays in the safer spot while the other handles the car—like opening the hood—so you can deal with the problem more safely.
Bridges have a maximum weight they can safely carry. If a vehicle is too heavy, the bridge can get stressed and potentially fail, so officials may restrict traffic.
The idea is that if the truck is too heavy, you might need to get rid of some weight fast. In the story, the driver considers throwing something out to reduce the load.
A Toyota Camry is a regular passenger car (a sedan) meant for everyday driving. The “four-door, four-cylinder” part means it has four seats/doors for passengers and a smaller engine that’s built for efficient, basic driving. The podcast is bringing it up because an older Camry like an ’87 can be a long-lasting family car.
“Lack of power” means the car doesn’t feel like it accelerates normally. That can happen if the engine isn’t getting the right spark or fuel, or if something under the hood isn’t connected correctly.
They found something near the spark plugs that wasn’t sitting right. If the spark plug area isn’t sealed or connected properly, the engine may not run as strongly or may feel like it’s missing power.
If oil is showing up near the spark plugs, it usually means oil is leaking from the top of the engine. Depending on where it’s leaking from, it can also contribute to smoke from the exhaust.
O-rings are small rubber seals that help keep oil from leaking out. If they aren’t seated correctly or the parts aren’t tightened down enough, oil can seep into places it shouldn’t.
Blue smoke from the exhaust often indicates oil is being burned in the combustion chambers. “Oily” blue smoke commonly points to valve cover seal/gasket issues, worn valve seals, or other oil-control problems that let oil reach the cylinders.
They’re comparing the problem car to a 1983 Honda Accord they used to drive. The point is that the manual transmission car probably felt quicker and more responsive than the automatic they have now.
Timing is about when the engine’s spark and valve events happen. If it’s off, the engine may feel weak or run strangely even though it starts and idles.
The valve cover is the top cover over the engine’s valve area. It has seals that keep oil from leaking—if it’s not tightened right, oil can get where it shouldn’t.
A Mercury Sable is a regular family sedan made by Mercury (which is part of Ford). The caller’s Sable has a problem where it dies in certain situations, so the diagnosis depends on what’s happening in that specific car.
Modern cars have computers that can store error codes when something goes wrong. Sometimes the scan shows nothing, especially if the problem happens only sometimes or doesn’t set an error code.
When a car senses a problem, it can save a code in its computer. If the shop says there are no codes, it can mean the problem didn’t happen during the test or it wasn’t severe enough to trigger a warning.
A humming sound from the back of the car can be a clue about the fuel system, like the fuel pump. The host is asking because that sound can help figure out what’s causing the car to die.
Vapor lock is when fuel gets so hot that it turns into vapor instead of staying liquid. Vapor doesn’t flow the same way, so the engine can stall or feel like it’s not getting gas.
Sometimes a car problem doesn’t happen right away—it shows up after everything warms up. If the fuel pressure falls when the car is hot, the engine can act like it’s starving for gas.
A volume test checks how much gas the pump can actually push to the engine, not just what the gauge reads briefly. If the pump can’t deliver enough fuel, the car will struggle when you’re driving hard.
Term
fuel pressure specification
Cars have “correct” fuel pressure targets. A mechanic compares what the gauge shows to the manufacturer’s expected range to decide if the fuel system is working properly.
Ford is the car company in the story. They’re trying to figure out why a bunch of brand-new cars keep showing up with dead batteries. The point is that even big manufacturers can have tricky problems that take time to track down.
A “dead battery on delivery” means the car’s battery is too low to start when it’s brand new. If it happens to the same number of cars every time, it usually means something in how the cars or batteries are made, stored, or installed is going wrong. It’s not just one bad battery—it’s a pattern.
They try to find the cause step by step. First they check for electrical shorts, then they test batches of batteries, but nothing shows up. When the problem keeps happening the same way, it suggests the cause is in the process—something about how parts are handled or installed.
A quality control engineer is responsible for finding and preventing defects during manufacturing and delivery. In the segment, the quality control engineer escalates beyond lab testing by walking the assembly plant and talking to workers to locate where the problem is introduced. This highlights how root-cause analysis often requires process-level investigation, not just component testing.
The check engine light is the dashboard indicator that the car’s engine control system has detected a fault. On older cars like a 1989 Civic, it typically means there’s a stored diagnostic trouble code that can be read with the right scan tool or code reader.
Concept
diagnostic trouble code (DTC)
When the check engine light comes on, the car often saves a specific “code” about what it noticed. Reading that code helps you avoid random guessing and points you to the right area to check.
Concept
incantation
In automotive troubleshooting, people sometimes use superstitious or ritual-like methods when they can’t explain a recurring issue. While the “incantation” itself doesn’t fix the car, the underlying idea is to try a repeatable action and observe whether the symptom changes. Real fixes usually come from systematic diagnosis (like scanning codes) rather than rituals.
The oxygen sensor tells the car how much oxygen is in the exhaust. Your car uses that info to keep the fuel mixture right. If it’s not reading correctly, the dashboard light can come on.
Topic
Car Talk-style diagnostic roleplay
This is a comedy bit, but it’s also showing how troubleshooting works. Instead of guessing, they talk about testing the parts that could be causing the issue. That’s the same approach real mechanics use.
LIVE
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Hello and welcome to Chiro Talk from National Public Radio.
With us, click and clack the Tapper Brothers,
and we're broadcasting this week from the physics department here at Chiro Talk Plaza.
Is Professor Laszlo Diza here today?
He may be. See, something that we, not just we,
but I mean the entire world thought was impossible, may now be possible.
You may have read about this a few weeks ago in the newspaper.
Scientists in Princeton, New Jersey, using a combination of atomic and electromagnetic manipulation,
have made light travel faster than light.
Get out of town!
I mean, Einstein postulated that nothing, including light,
can travel faster than 186,000 miles a second.
Which in my opinion is plenty fast enough.
Well, interestingly, these guys have gotten light to travel so fast.
You ready for this?
Yeah.
That the light comes out of the machine before it goes in.
All of this, of course, raises a fascinating, practical question here at Chiro Talk Plaza.
A few years ago, Bugsy, who's in charge of procuring and delivering cars to us,
had to deliver a test car to Tommy.
And he called Tommy up in the morning and asked when he would be at his office.
And Tommy said, well, I'm going in a little late today.
So Bugsy said, well, that's okay, I'll come in the afternoon.
Tommy said, well, I'll be leaving on the early side.
All I had stuff to do!
To which Bugsy replied, well, don't leave too early or you'll pass yourself coming in.
So now, it may actually be possible for me to do that.
It may.
I may have been doing it all the time.
All these years, you may have been on the brink.
As always.
I'm on the cutting edge of technology.
Indeed.
As always.
Man!
Now, look, if your car is not traveling at the speed of light or even the speed of dark,
call us and we'll try to help the number 888 Car Talk.
What is the speed of dark?
Dark is faster than light.
Isn't it?
Maybe.
I mean, I think so.
The speed of dark.
Again, on the cutting edge, no one has even mentioned the speed of dark because it seems
unimportant.
Not anymore.
The speed of dark.
The 1-888 Car Talk, that's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm Carleen from Alexandria, Virginia.
Carleen.
Hi, Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
Carleen.
ago six years now three years ago we got the same thing same thing yeah I took
it back and they said you need a new rack opinion I said I put a new one in
oh yeah that was a rebuilt system it's only guaranteed for a year okay I put a
new rack opinion system a new one or another rebuilt another rebuilt okay
yeah what what happens in all cases actually what happens is when I turn
the wheel it'll it'll stiffen up it's almost like it gets stuck and then
a real release and it'll stiffen up and then all the release oh oh really which
is different than what oh yeah and you know what that's not the rack good good
well is it something better it's something a lot cheaper it's cheaper okay
yeah if it if it if every 90 degrees it's getting hard to turn and then the
subsequent 90 degrees it's getting easy and then the next 90 degrees it gets
hard again this is cheap this is you this is relatively cheap it's the
steering coupling there is a coupling that goes between your steering column
and the rack see if the rack were bad it more likely who would be difficult to
steer over the whole range of the steering okay so if you tried to turn it
left or right you'd find it equally difficult in both directions but also
you wouldn't find easy spots and hard spots in the in the turning of the wheel
right this coupling is like a little universal joint and it freezes up it
gets crudded up it rusts up yeah it gets what happens is water gets into the
joint and the joint freezes in one direction so that it can't flex in
both directions but can flex only in one direction and hence it makes the wheel
hard to turn half the time okay I hate to be suspicious but I am I think what
they're going to do oh no no no I think I think they're going to they know what
this is like wiping off the they're going to do both they're going to replace the
rack and the coupling and of course your problem will be solved by the same
token they could also replace your dashboard and that would also solve
this problem so they could do three things yeah but only one of them is
necessary tell them you don't want the rack replace you heard it on good
authority that the steering coupling is the problem and that's what it is a
guarantee it okay great sounds good to me see a carline good one bye bye one
eight eight eight car talk that's eight eight eight two two seven eight two five
five a lawyer on car talk good day my name is John from Portland in Oregon hi
John from Portland in Oregon what's up well I got a 93 Volkswagen Fox and yeah
when I first had it I was out in Asbury Park New Jersey and it ran around just
like a little sewing machine then I drove from Asbury Park all the way out to
Portland Oregon that's when the trouble started it'd be like about every three
four hundred miles all of a sudden lose power it has start chugging and almost
conk out and we'd get out show the the people what was wrong and they'd say
oh you've got fuel in the engine they'd fix that up and so every 400 miles I'm
forking out like hundred two hundred dollars they they put in tune you fuel
pumps along the way then finally I got to Rapid City in South Dakota and the
man says well this is a fault in this car mm-hmm you've got to get a special
part for it because it builds up static electricity really and it's called a
harness he said harness for the airflow sensor ah anyway they put it in then
200 miles later it starts doing the same what I found but this is the
embarrassing thing of it now what the only thing I can do is I have to get up
open up the bonnet and touch it all over the engine the laying on of hands yeah
and the thing is I'm a Catholic priest I'm always dressed up in my clericals
and this works you can make a fortune Padre I can you can be out there on the
freeways every day oh man that's all it takes on wasting your time saving souls
yeah snap on is wasting its time selling tools I mean I don't need the tools we
have you well I'm having sometimes more luck with my car than I do on some of
but I mean does it still does it still happen still happens but does it happen
every three or four hundred miles no no it'll happen sporadically sporadically
well let me tell you a little story our nephew Matthew who's also been known as
pork chop boy oh into the fact that he had to couldn't get any dates and had to
tie a pork chop around his neck even to get the dog to play with him had a late
model Volkswagen which also has an airflow sensor like your car I forget
what year it was and he had exactly the same problem we tried a million
different things none of which involved replacing the airflow sensor because as
you may know it's very expensive yeah but I suspect that that's the problem and
I'm not sure that even replacing it would fix it because if there's a design
flaw it may not get fixed because the same flaw will be in the new one but I
think that's what's wrong with his and what finally fixed his car was he sold
it was hit by a bread truck twice one of his friends arranged it I don't know
how that happened the first time didn't kill it but that's the second shot did it
when the bread truck had to back up to get him again but but I think that if
you're going to fix this thing you're going to have to buy yourself a new
airflow sensor and the harness I think was an attempt at solving the problem
but if there was a static buildup it may have damaged the delicate circuitry in
the airflow sensor and been too late for the harness to do any good you know what
the harness was designed to to prevent further damage or prevent any damage but
once the damage had been done right then the harness wouldn't do any good but
now that you have the harness right a new airflow sensor may solve the problem
so you're not going to address the laying on of hands mystery I mean I mean
there's got to be you know me is there not a technical explanation for when
Padre opens the hood and lays on the hands that everything is okay well I'm
sure there is I mean within minutes father it takes like 30 seconds is 30
seconds I have to turn the car off and lay hands on it yeah I think the 30
seconds is the crucial yeah component here you do this in the middle of the
freeway it's bloody scary yeah when there's no little side parts to put the
car yeah see if you can get a provision to ride with you let them try the laying
on the hands tell me going to teach him the art of laying on the hands and make
sure that you don't get out of the car on those busy freeways it's safer to get
out on the passenger side anyway bloody so you tell the passenger you get out and
open the hood and I'll let you know if it works yeah as soon as it starts you
just leave them there with us good luck father thank you bye bye bye hey the
puzzler answer and more calls are coming up right after this this message
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Fernando Madera relates to needing flexibility when it comes to scheduling therapy they have
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hi we're back you're listening to car talk with us click and collect the tappard brothers and we
here to talk about cars car repair and uh the answer to last week's puzzler but first the question
oh yeah the sparrow is coming back to me is there a big truck involved in a bridge yeah yeah yeah
you remember the story of the the bridge of san louis ray by thawnton wilder i've read it
read it when did you read it a couple years ago no you read it when he first wrote it in 1937
i i read the i read the galley proof well this is the story of the bridge of tommen ray
in borneo there's a bridge connecting two islands that's constructed of bamboo
lashed together with hemp it's been used for hundreds of years pedestrian traffic and vehicular
traffic moving both directions and the bridge is four miles long i'm with you i can see it now
it's the old picture painted i can see four miles of hemp holding up people and things and cars bamboo
bamboo yeah and the bridge has a weight limit of 20 tons so one day a truck pulls up to the bridge
and the officials stop him and say we have to weigh you because it looks like it's going to be close
to the weight limit so he drives onto the scale and the truck is full of sedated pigs pig iron
and dead chickens with the driver in the truck it weighs exactly 20 tons man what are the chances
of that what are the chances so the guy at the other end of the bridge gets the signal he weighs
all the other traffic off the bridge clearly if the weight limits 20 tons they can't allow anyone
else on the bridge no so now the bridge is empty and this fellow is allowed to drive across as he
is crossing the bridge a sparrow begins to follow alongside no what are the chances of that and it
begins to hover over the truck flapping his wings and just when he's a little beyond this sparrow
hasn't had like chili for lunch and just when he's a little beyond the halfway point on the bridge
the sparrow gets ready to land and does land on the truck what does the driver do to keep the truck
and the sedated pigs and the dead chickens from plunging into the abyss the abyss or the four
feet of water that's below the under the bridge wow what a great question well what does he do
what does he do not what happens but what does the driver do or what can he do well he can he
do he could do a lot of things for example figuring that his shoe weighs more than a sparrow to throw
a shoe out he could throw a shoe out the window yeah or he could jettison something else but he
didn't do anything wow trick question what does he do he does nothing because in driving from
the beginning of the bridge to the halfway point yeah a 20 ton truck is going to what
consume fuel and it'll easily consume an amount of fuel that's greater than the weight of the
sparrow so when the sparrow lands on the truck nothing happens oh man do we have a winner
and you know what i would have done i would have been already diving out the truck window into the
abyss exactly oh man the winner is dave may from cedar falls iowa and for having his correct
answer selected at random from the thousands of correct answers that we got dave is going to get
a $25 gift certificate to the car talk shameless commerce division on our website with which he
can get a copy of our new book in our humble opinion which last time we checked was rapidly
climbing the new york times list of books to avoid at all costs even if they've given away free
good work dave we will have a new while you were reading i saw you reading papers there well i'm
trying to figure out what which puzzle to oh because you're gonna say we're gonna have a new
something exactly i'm trying to describe it and i haven't figured out so we'll have a new puzzler
coming up in the third half of today's show it may be automotive in nature and it may not and it may
not which is about the only two possibilities there are so stay tuned for that in the meantime
call and ask us questions about your car the number is 888 car talk that's 888 227 8285 a
lawyer on car talk hi this is zack from philadelphia zack yep hi zack with an h with an h sure what's
shaken i have an 87 toyota camry four door four cylinder and i got it from my grandmother for
a buck a year ago did you do this while she was in some Alzheimer's stupor and hey grammy i'll give
you a buck for your car she said okay sonny but i don't have any more birthday presents for the
rest of my life right that's the other one and then i as a matter of fact i think i still owe her the
buck i don't know what's gonna be happening with that um i got it with 50 000 miles on it and now
it has 70 000 miles on it yeah the problem is when i first got it i noticed there was a lack of power
and it actually felt like my grandmother was still driving the car so i looked under the hood and i
found that one of the uh cylinders or the spark plug covers was a little bit raised off of the
spark plug and i looked inside it pulled it out looked inside of it and there was oil covering
the bottom of that spark plug cover the white right right right and when i went to my mechanic
said he fixed it he cleaned up the oil took the ring off and i'll replace that little he said
there's a little ring in there there are a little four little o-rings yes replace that good wait
wait when he did that yeah ran better not really i'm not i i wouldn't have expected it to run any
better yeah i'd never noticed the like wow this is great power and i really noticed that plus the
force on the car with an automatic transmission too yeah now the other situation and i think it
may go hand in hand is that every time i start my car doesn't matter if it's winter or summer
there's always a puff of smoke coming out of the exhaust blue oily smoke yeah bluey yeah and when
you say there's a lack of power how does it run it idle when you're sitting at a stop it's not silent
but it runs fairly smoothly right you can feel a very slight vibration yeah it's not it would lead me
to believe that it's not thinking up correctly no it's running on all four cylinders the problem
is the cylinders ain't big enough for you and it may be that it's putting out as much power as it
possibly can right and you're just disappointed with it what did you drive before this if anything
uh an 83 accord four cylinder but it was manual transmission oh yeah and that would have more
zip yeah much more it would have more zip with the stick shift mostly because of the stick shift
and it's probably a lighter car too yeah you know so you're gonna have to get used to it i mean
you should ask this guy to check the timing the timing yeah okay because the timing could be off
i mean there are a lot of other things that could be wrong with it uh but what's up with any idea
what's up with the oil yeah he put the o-rings in wrong he put well he didn't put him in wrong
but he didn't tighten there are four big nuts on the top of the valve cover right and that's what
holds the valve cover down right and squashes those o-rings between the cylinder head and the
tube right and if he didn't tighten those enough they would leak so if he fixed it twice then uh
it's time to go someplace else or well it's time to tighten them up some more maybe he was afraid
to over tighten them okay you know but you can ask him to tighten up it's not a big deal
you can have oil in there and it won't impair the performance of the engine that's what i was
curious yes well that's why i said i would be surprised if when he did that it ran better
because there's nothing there that would make it run yeah there's always the off chance that
grammy knew what was wrong with this car which is waiting for a sucker to come along right
and they're the highest offer before you showed up with 75 cents exactly don't worry about it
8255 hello you're on car talk hi this is gretchen calling from breckenridge colorado hi gretchen
how are you we're great breckenridge colorado yes about an hour and a half west of denver
in the mountains yeah what's shaking well i'm calling i have a 95 mercury stable and it has
about 85 000 miles on it yeah i moved out to colorado last summer from michigan and the
day that i drove it into the mountains my car proceeded to um to die on me anytime that i um
went over any sort of a path that means when you were climbing a mountain yeah when i was
climbing a mountain how about when you reached the top uh yeah it would die then how about when
you were coming down the mountain coming down was fine and other time as in warmer weather
um it was in the summer going into the city and then not going on any passes at at all
but in stop and go traffic and warm weather and i would usually have my air on
i took it in the first time that it happened last summer they did a complete diagnostic
check on it on the computer system i i thought so yeah and found nothing registered right
and and i'm afraid they couldn't figure it out because they were looking at the wrong thing
okay and i'm going to ask you a question and it would be wonderful Gretchen yeah it might be
worth considerable cash if your answer was yes if if you're driving the car or even if you stop
but the engine is running right do you hear a humming noise coming from the rear of the car
um think hard now think do everything in your power think hard now you might you might be able
to intuit the answer i know i think the answer is gonna be i really want to say yes i well good for
you gretchen all right but i can't i really can't recall that noise it may be that it is
sneaked up on you uh and lots of times things happen and you don't even know they're happening
so let's assume at least for the moment for the sake of argument that in fact Gretchen's car
has this humming noise okay which is we'll get back to it by sitting in the back seat okay and if
you sit in the back seat with the engine running you may hear a okay which shouldn't be there and
what i think is wrong with your car is you have a weak fuel pump okay and that would explain why
you lose power especially on the hills all the classic symptoms of a bad fuel pump which they
would never find on their stupid little computer because the computer is telling them about all
the stuff well it doesn't check the fuel pump either now you're gonna tell us that they tested
the fuel pump i am i know a little bit of history here i forgot to reveal yeah okay that's all right
this did happen in michigan once right before i left ah same situation sitting my mom was driving
it was in park it was a really hot day and it died ah and then to um preface this i also i'd
had a fuel pump a brand new fuel pump put in um two summers ago oh Gretchen Gretchen
okay so and i mean well the first the first instance with your mother could well have been
the fuel pump it could also have been vapor lock okay but i don't think it was now that's what people
have been telling me around here but i'm trying to vapor lock yeah well here's what you do i mean
the other possibility to put all all the speculation to rest i think you need to have someone test the
fuel pump with a long test in other words if they just put the tester on there and run the car for a
minute they may in fact determine that the fuel pressure is okay okay but if they let the thing
run and get good and hot on a hot day you may see the pressure dropping okay as time goes on
and they can also do a volume test because there is a specification for how much volume the pump
should pump okay and i suspect you're gonna find that the pump is no good okay i have to say that
even though you threw in that little red herring about your mother uh that i i i don't like the
vapor lock idea i don't think it has anything to do with vapor lock and i'm sticking with my brother's
analysis here a diagnosis of the fuel pump okay and i think you've just tried to obfuscate this
entire situation gretchen and don't call us again and you won't be on something chumps see you gretchen
all right thanks very much hey thanks for calling gretchen you've been a lot of fun thank you very
much even though you gave all the wrong answers yeah and the wrong questions till see ya bye bye bye
we'll be right back with more calls and the new puzzler after these messages
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we're back you're listening to car talk with us pay me up like that you're listening to car talk
with us click and clap the tappet brothers and we hear to discuss cars car repair and the the new
puzzler this was submitted by ross sukashima he says a friend of mine used to work at a
Ford assembly plant and he told me the following story a new model came out and like anything
there were a few design bugs that needed to be worked out i have to add parenthetically that
this was a while ago okay amongst these problems was one really strange one one out of every six
cars delivered to a dealership would have a dead battery the engineers at Ford were perplexed
they did circuit tests for short circuits none were found they did extensive lot testing on
incoming batteries to see if one out of every six was a problem right from the manufacturer and guess
what no no problems perfect they hired specialists and consultants crystal ball readers and the like
experts on batteries and chemicals to try to pinpoint the problem they could find none for three
months the problem existed and for three months the problem stayed exactly the same one out of
every six cars had a dead battery upon arrival at the distributor wow he says my friend was a quality
control engineer and decided to take action and take things into his own hands yeah he walked the
entire assembly plant talking to the workers as he went he started out in components wound up in
the cafeteria then went through chassis and electrical and followed the line all the way to final test
without fail each car would start up at the end and be driven away
there were no dead batteries at final test he was stumped he watched the cars being loaded for
shipment and then turned around to talk to the guy in charge of final test he asked him if
there were ever any dead batteries at final test and he said no never wow he then explained to the
tester the situation and asked him if he could think of a reason why one out of six batteries were
always dead on this particular model the guy stared off into the distance he pondered scratched his
butt and then he smiled and he said he knew what the problem was really and my friend later checked
and confirmed that the guy in final test was absolutely correct what was the problem no this
was from the old days how old i mean we're talking just a few decades not exactly a hundred no just
a few decades ago okay i'll give you a hint when cars were big yeah big you got it with me if you
think you know the answer write it on a postcard or on the back of an original oil on canvas
Pablo Picasso complete with our communicating documents and send it to we haven't been getting
any no the carpathian elmore burl dining room set never arrived never showed yeah oh berman says
that's what you think anyway if you if you want send all that to puzzler tower car talk plaza
box 3500 harvard square cambridge our fair city matt 02238 or you can email your answer
from the car talk section of cars dot com if you'd like to call us as always the numbers 1888
car talk that's 888227 8255 hello you're on car talk hi guys hi yeah i am steve from alexandria
virginia but i almost feel like i should say that i live in the pentagon because that is
where my car problem arises your car problems started at the pentagon or well let me explain
it's a first of all it's a 1989 honda civic about 135 000 miles the problem i have is this
i work in alexandria about 10 miles from the pentagon and for over a year now i got it a couple
of times a week i drive after work to the pentagon and i park in one of their parking lots which
connects to the subway that i can take to washington dc to go to a basketball game a hockey game
four or five hours later when i come back every time i start the engine the check engine light
comes on now and you suspect some scalduggery uh i can't pronounce that word as well as you can
but yeah i suspect that and and other areas thing you're not a lawyer or a politician are you i am
but is there anything different uh when you drive to the pentagon parking lot
is that a significant deviation from what you usually do is at a much greater distance um
10 miles versus say five miles steve well you know i mean i know the answer you're looking for
yeah yeah i know that there are some peculiar electromagnetic radiations coming we know that
there are right well where else if not there i always feel like leaving notes on other cars in
the park if they have the same problem i like it you guys don't believe me right no of course not
we know you made it up the guy tells us he's a lawyer and then he says you don't believe me
are your lips moving and the and the car and the car works fine so i just ignore the light
i think it has something to do with you ready for this i i know the answer i i happened to
know the answer now i have to divulge it yeah it has to do with moisture in the air
moisture in the air yeah in a huge parking lot with it yeah well this is you know radiation
from for this driveway huh uh must live in a dry area in alexandria where is the car now
steve uh it's actually in the parking lot uh where i work when you work doesn't happen during
the day how far away from you is it i think i may have to do a little incantation part of
looking forward to doing this for no i think i think it's a unique combination of driving
an extra 10 miles parking it heats up and then coming back to it that same night okay and it's
not the equivalent of you're not watching jane leno and going out and starting the car up it's
different why haven't you ever the same thing he said he goes out he's watching jane leno he hasn't
driven as far hasn't driven as far and i think you have a bad oxygen sensor bad oxygen sensor yeah
that's yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and that would cause that light to go on no no no yeah
i'm gonna do the incantation i think that might be more helpful i think i'm gonna do it and and
hopefully and we can even do this another stump the chumps we can see if the incantation worked
when's the next basketball game but the season's over especially for the team in washington yeah
we know that okay well how often does it happen uh once or twice a week once or twice a week all
right that's easy to test and i'm gonna do the what color is the car beige but i think technically
they call it a gold gold and is a two door four door it's a hatchback two door two door hatchback
and which way is it facing now north south east or west south south okay that's all i need to know
ready you ready do i have to no you don't have to do anything you have fuzzy dice anywhere in the
car it would be good if you closed your eyes do i have to hold on to my wall hold your nose close
your eyes and raise your hands out in front of you palms down try to repeat after me if you can
because it'll you'll be my channel to the car ready
it's fixed i can feel it maybe that'll help the basketball team
it'll never happen again that's fixed Steve have the have the have the when they can't come up with a
code have them test the oxygen i this may even have two oxygen sensors this car but have them
test the oxygen sensor output sure when they say oh it's no good you'll have solved the problem
okay see you Steve thank you very much bye bye well it's happened again you've wasted another
perfectly good hour listening to car talk our steam producer is dug the subway fusion of not a slave
to fashion cute cute cute merman our associate producers are frau kathryn fenolosa and louis
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chetum and how is you louis dewey known to the tenured bums in harvard square as yui louis dewey
thanks so much for listening we're clicking clack the tappet brothers and above all don't
drive like my brother and secondly don't drive like my brother and don't drive like my brother
we'll be back next week bye bye
now here is car talk was his chief mechanic this is the vinegar mods thank you very much
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of course you go to the same site the car talk section of cars dot com or you'll order the
old-fashioned way by phone you know you're called 888 god job thank you vinnie that was uh tour the
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About this episode
Light-speed “science” banter kicks off, then the show dives into real-world car fixes. A caller with a recurring hard-to-turn steering feel is diagnosed as a frozen steering coupling (not the rack). Another driver’s intermittent power loss on a 1993 VW Fox points toward an airflow sensor/harness issue, with a humorous “laying on hands” workaround. Later, a 1995 Mercury Sable dying on mountain climbs is blamed on a weak fuel pump and tested under heat. The puzzler: why one in six new Ford cars arrived with dead batteries.
The 'Speed of Darkness', a 'laying on of hands' and paranormal activities in the Pentagon parking lot. This episode of the Best of Car Talk is definitely ‘out there’, somewhere.
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