A Ford Galaxy is a big family van (an MPV) made to carry people comfortably. Here it’s mentioned because it looks okay from the outside, but the inside/paint situation is a mess.
Diesel is a type of fuel used in many cars. Diesel engines work differently than gasoline engines, and the host is just mentioning it in the context of MPVs.
The Opel Zafira is a family car designed to carry more people, often with flexible seating. In the episode, someone mentions seeing one while out walking. It’s brought up as an example of a common practical car you might encounter in real life.
EV means electric vehicle. Instead of a gas or diesel engine, it uses an electric motor, so you don’t get the same engine noise and exhaust-soot issues.
A DPF is a filter that catches soot from a diesel car’s exhaust. If you mostly do short trips, the filter may not get hot enough to clean itself, so it can clog up.
A handbrake is the parking brake. It keeps the car from rolling when you’re stopped, and here the host is pointing out that this car’s handbrake looks especially big and distinctive.
MPV means “multi-purpose vehicle.” It’s usually a family car built to fit lots of people and be practical, and the speaker likes the way these cabins are laid out.
Crossovers are a mix between a regular car and an SUV. They’re popular family vehicles, and the host is saying new car releases are mostly going in that direction.
Concept
progress
The host is talking about whether modern cars are actually getting better. They don’t think the current trend toward certain family car styles counts as real improvement.
The BMW iX3 is BMW’s electric SUV. The hosts are talking about how well it uses energy—especially how much range you get—and how its shape and size matter for efficiency.
Term
Neuer-class platform
A platform is the car’s main “skeleton” and engineering base. Here, the hosts mean BMW’s new electric-car foundation that will be used for future models like the i3 Saloon.
Term
ground up brand new EV platform
“Ground up” means the electric car was designed specifically as an EV from the start. The hosts are saying that usually helps the car be more efficient because it doesn’t have to work around leftover gas-car design compromises.
This phrase means the designers started fresh, without being stuck with an old design. Here, they’re using it to suggest the EV layout was planned carefully to improve efficiency and range.
Frontal area is how big the car looks from the front. A smaller front usually cuts through air more easily, which can help an EV go farther on the same battery.
Neue Klasse is BMW’s plan for a new generation of cars—both the way they’re built and how they look. The episode mentions it because the speaker is thinking about how the new design style will look on different body shapes. It’s basically a preview of BMW’s next big direction.
The BMW i8 is a sports car that uses both an electric system and a petrol engine. It’s known for its unusual, eye-catching design. The episode brings it up because the speaker thinks it looks especially good.
A “full width screen” is a big display that stretches across most of the dashboard. Here it’s placed near the windshield, so it becomes the main place for things like directions, music, and temperature.
Term
base of the windscreen
Putting the screen at the base of the windshield means it’s positioned low and forward. That makes it feel more like part of the view ahead, not just a normal infotainment screen on the dash.
The central screen is the main touchscreen in the middle of the dash. They’re saying it feels fast to use and even the sound/feel when you tap it is satisfying.
A four-spoke steering wheel has four arms instead of three. In this case they’re pointing out the spoke layout—like it lines up with the directions—so it looks a bit unusual.
A bespoke EV platform means the car’s “underbody design” was made specifically for electric cars. That usually helps the car fit the battery well and can make the cabin and ride better.
An electric drivetrain is the EV’s power system that moves the car—basically the motor and the electronics that control it. It’s what turns battery energy into motion at the wheels.
An infotainment screen is the dashboard display you use for things like music, maps, and car settings. They’re saying the specific screen design they saw might look old fast.
They’re talking about how a design can stop looking modern after a short time. With car screens and dashboards, trends change quickly, so what looks cool now can feel old later.
The Twingo is a small city car. They’re talking about a bright yellow one they have at home and using it to compare how different dashboard/screen designs feel in real life.
Air suspension is a suspension system that uses air bags instead of metal springs. It can help the car ride more smoothly and stay steadier over bumps.
Active suspension is a suspension system that can adjust itself while you drive. It’s designed to keep the car more stable and comfortable over different road surfaces.
The Mercedes-Benz GLC is a luxury SUV, meaning it’s a higher-riding car with more space and a more premium interior. The episode mentions it because it’s very common on the road. They’re basically saying you can spot a lot of them during rush hour.
“Grills” are the openings on the front of the car—usually the grille area you can see from outside. They’re talking about how the i3’s front design was updated.
“SUV form” means the car is shaped like an SUV—taller and more upright. They’re saying the same EV concept would feel better in a different body style than an SUV.
The BMW Z1 is a small, two-seat open-top roadster made by BMW. In this episode they’re talking about a 1990 version, and they mention that bright red suits the car’s bold, quirky look.
“Officially sold” means the car was sold through the normal, intended UK distribution channels. Collectors care because it helps confirm where the car was meant to be sold and why it’s rarer.
“UK Z1s” means BMW Z1 cars that were sold in the UK, not just imported later. They’re saying there were only 75 officially sold there, which makes them hard to find.
Left-hand drive just means the steering wheel is on the left side of the car. The hosts bring it up because the UK cars they’re discussing were set up that way.
Mileage is how many miles (or kilometers) the car has been driven. People look at it because higher mileage usually means more wear, but the car’s condition still matters a lot.
“Bespoke seats” means the seats were made specifically for that car, not just bought as a standard part. The story here is that the BMW Z1’s seats fit and mounted in a way that other cars (like the Jaguar XJ220) could take advantage of.
The Jaguar XJ220 is a famous 1990s supercar. In this story, the key point is that Jaguar used seat parts originally made for the BMW Z1, then re-covered them, because they needed seats that fit low in the car.
The Dodge Viper is an American sports car known for its aggressive styling and performance-focused engineering. Here, the hosts discuss a supply-chain/packaging oddity: they claim the original Viper’s headlights were intended for the BMW Z1, and were adopted because it was cheaper than tooling up a new lamp unit on a limited budget.
“Tool up” means setting up the factory to make a new part—buying or building the special equipment needed for production. In the story, Dodge supposedly chose to reuse an existing headlight design because making new tooling would have been too expensive.
A “limited budget” means the company didn’t have a lot of money to spend. The hosts are saying that because of that, Dodge may have reused a headlight design instead of paying for a brand-new one.
A “clam shell bonnet” is a hood that opens upward like a clamshell. The speaker is basically saying the Z1’s front styling looks similar, even if the hood mechanism isn’t the same.
The Figaro mentioned in the episode is a small car with a retro, old-school style. The speaker is talking about the years it was made and comparing it to other cars from around the same time. It’s included because it’s a distinctive model people remember.
Bernard Sumner is a famous musician from the band New Order. The hosts are saying he owned a BMW Z1, which is part of why they think the car has a cool celebrity story.
Chris Lowe is a famous musician from Pet Shop Boys. The hosts mention him as someone who owned a BMW Z1, which is part of the car’s “celebrity” reputation.
Concept
synth pop car of choice
They’re joking that the BMW Z1 became a kind of “favorite car” for synth-pop musicians. It’s more about the car’s vibe and who owned it than about technical specs.
Term
20,000 miles
“20,000 miles” means the car has been driven about that distance. Lower mileage usually suggests less wear, which can make a used car cost more—especially for rare models.
Staffordshire is a region in England. The hosts mention it because the car they’re looking at is listed there, which matters for where the car came from and how you might find similar listings.
“UK supplied” means the car was originally sold into the UK market (rather than being imported). That can affect paperwork, specification, and how easy it is to verify history when you’re comparing used-car listings.
The BMW E39 M5 is a special BMW made by BMW’s performance team (M). It’s famous for being a fast, grown-up sedan that can still feel exciting to drive. Here, the host says they want one.
The Honda Insight is a hybrid car from Honda, meaning it uses both a gasoline engine and an electric system. In this segment, the host says their Insight is stuck on the Isle of Man, which is why they’re not getting the BMW yet.
“E34” is BMW shorthand for the 5 Series generation. It’s basically the specific model generation, and that’s why people talk about it like it has its own personality.
John Barker is mentioned as an Evo writer who talked about how BMW gearboxes feel. The host is using that as backup for their point about BMW shifting being especially tactile.
The Fisker Ocean is an electric SUV. They’re looking at a listing for one that’s basically brand-new (only a few hundred miles), but it hasn’t been registered yet, and it’s in Austria.
Right-hand drive means the steering wheel is on the right side of the car. That’s normal in countries like the UK and Australia, and it changes how the driver sits and how the car is set up.
“Unregistered” means the car hasn’t been officially put on the road with license paperwork yet. It can still be driven or moved, but it may not have plates or legal road status in that country.
Company
Magna Steyer
Magna Steyr is a company that helps build cars for other brands. The host is saying this particular Fisker Ocean was made by that manufacturer.
A “solar sky roof” is a roof with solar panels. It can make some electricity for the car, but it won’t replace charging from a wall most of the time.
Term
biggest range
“Range” means how many miles (or kilometers) the electric car can drive before it needs charging. “Biggest range” means it’s aiming to go farther than others.
Term
biggest battery
“Biggest battery” means the EV has a larger battery inside. A bigger battery usually helps it go farther on a single charge.
A “parts car” is a car you buy mostly to take off parts and use them on another car. It’s a common strategy when parts are expensive or hard to find.
Term
body work damage
“Body work damage” means the outside of the car is damaged—like dents, broken panels, or bumper damage. Fixing it can be expensive because the parts and paint work add up.
Used car pricing is the price you pay for a car that someone else already owned. In this discussion, they’re pointing out that even with low mileage, the prices and value can be surprising because of concerns about the company.
After-sale support is what you rely on after you buy the car—like repairs, replacement parts, and warranty help. If the company is gone, getting that support can become difficult or stop altogether.
Parts availability means how easy it is to find replacement parts for your car. If parts are hard to get, repairs can take much longer and cost more.
Concept
support group
A support group is a community where people with the same problem (here, owning a specific car) help each other. For cars, that can mean sharing where to find parts or how to handle common issues.
Car
MG6
The MG6 is a car model from MG. The host mentions it as an example of what can happen to a car’s value when parts support dries up.
Resale value is what a vehicle is worth when you sell it later. The host argues that some quirky, niche cars can increase in value over time, especially if they develop a dedicated owner community.
Concept
car collection car cave
A “car collection car cave” refers to a private, often enthusiast-built space where a collector stores and displays multiple vehicles. It’s a context clue here: the Fisker Karma is being discussed as part of a broader, curated collection rather than as a normal daily car.
Term
2000 kilometers
“Kilometers” is just how distance is measured. Saying the car has “2000 kilometers” is a way of saying it hasn’t been driven much.
Some cars have a raised hump in the floor to make room for the drivetrain underneath. If that hump is bigger than usual, it can make the cabin feel cramped, especially for the middle area.
It’s the raised part in the middle of the floor that makes space for the car’s mechanical parts underneath. In some electrified cars, the layout under the floor can influence how big that hump becomes.
It sounds like the battery is arranged in a long central section of the car. That can push the floor up in the middle, creating a bigger hump between the seats.
The Chevrolet Volt is a plug-in hybrid that can drive on electricity and then uses a gas engine to keep going. Here it’s mentioned because the battery layout made the middle seating area unusable, so it effectively seats four.
The BMW 3 Series is a popular BMW car line, usually a sedan or wagon, meant for daily driving but with a sporty feel. People talk about it a lot because certain versions—like the M3—are built on the 3 Series platform. In the episode, they’re specifically thinking of the older E46 era.
SMG is BMW’s system where the car has a manual-style gearbox, but the car does the shifting for you. It can feel a bit jerky or old-school compared with newer automatic transmissions.
This means the transmission uses just one clutch. Because there’s only one clutch, the car may not shift as smoothly as newer transmissions that use two clutches to keep power flowing.
An automated manual is basically a manual gearbox, but the car handles the clutch and shifting automatically. It can feel more old-school than a modern automatic, depending on how the system is set up.
A ducktail boot lid is a small rear spoiler shape on the trunk. It helps the car’s airflow at the back and also gives the car a distinctive, sporty look.
LIVE
I'm Jonny Smith, I'm its reporter, and this is Smith & Sniff, a podcast on which two friends talk about cars and many other things.
I lost a family heirloom at the weekend, really gutted.
Oh, which was?
It was a swimming towel that I've had since I was eight.
Genuinely.
That says on it, and this made me giggle because I'd sort of forgotten what it said on it.
It had loads of slightly different coloured stripes on it that made out the word sport.
Or should I say, spout.
I've had this towel since I was a sort of cub scouts and it had my name embroidered in the corner that my mum must have done.
So I could take it in the school style.
A thin white strip with red lettering?
Of course.
Of course, good.
So I've had this, not intentionally, I've just had this towel all my life and it's never given up.
And it hadn't got threadbare enough for me to relegate it to garage duties because a couple of towels have been demoted to garage things.
DIY or garage things.
Well, in our house, what happens to a towel is it becomes a dog towel.
Right.
And that's the hierarchy.
Human towel, dog towel.
Same towel just gets demoted.
Yeah.
And so this towel hadn't even reached that point yet.
And I was, I don't know if I told you, but I've got a small boat Richard.
I was out in this boat enjoying my electric outboard motor.
And I'd put the towel folded into a little square on the edge of the boat because the boat had been painted, has been painted quite badly in black and it was so baking hot my arse was burning.
So I thought, I'll take my ratty sport towel, isn't that ratty?
And I'll put it on the side so I can perch whilst I'm tillering my way down the river.
And unfortunately what happened was I got up from my seat to sort of stare at something.
I thought I'd saw a pike or something of that nature.
And got off and a gust of wind blew the towel and it went straight off into the river behind us.
And by the time I, yeah, and I went to turn the boat around to save it because at that moment it was, it was still floating on the surface with the word spur words on there.
But then it started sinking.
But I couldn't go back and get it.
I was going to try and hook it out with an oar because there was a narrow boat behind us that was doing the same speed as us.
And we, the river wasn't wide enough.
It would have caused a bit of a collision.
So I had to, I sort of had to do a semi emotional quiet goodbye to it whilst leaving the throttle at almost the same.
Oh, the towel.
And my girlfriend Lauren was like, we can go back for it if you want.
We can pull over and we can, we can dredge for it.
No.
That's how you know she's a keeper because of her emotional support in this difficult time.
She didn't just go, just Johnny, it's in their 40 year old towel.
Just deal with it.
No, she didn't.
I was really pleased about this.
But the towel out for the sport towel.
So on the one hand, I've lost a worthless heirloom.
And on the other hand, you could say I've actually caused some littering, although it's cotton strands, isn't it?
So it will break down.
The fibers will break down, I think, of the towel.
I felt terrible.
Or it may, as it starts to disintegrate, be, let's say, upcycled is the word.
Yes.
By an otter into a bedding or nesting or some sort.
An otter or a water rat or, I don't know, what else is in that river of yours?
Or there has been seals seen that come up from the coast.
Yeah, they come up, I think, in winter because it's easier to find fish and stuff.
You're quite in land.
I'm very in land.
Wow.
I know, determination on the seal front.
But I'm thinking it's an algal cloak for an otter.
That's how I see it now.
It's like a superhero's algal cloak.
I definitely could see an otter using it as a duvet or something, if not a cloak, just wrapping up in it.
Obviously, because otters have no use for towels, they're happy being wet, so they wouldn't carefully dry it in the sun.
Because they're quite clever on the otters.
They use stones to break open shellfish and things like that.
Yeah, they do.
They are resourceful.
And the same with the beavers are pretty good at architecture or just building.
Maybe just building rather than architecture, don't you think?
So yeah, this demotion of towel and then subsequent loss of towel heirloom spelt got me thinking about the demotion of cars.
And I saw this morning, I went picking weeds for the tortoises and dandelions.
And there was a painter and decorator who pulled over and got out of a Ford Galaxy MPV and opened the tailgate of it.
And inside it looked like someone had put plastic explosives inside the paint aisle of being cute and then just run away.
The poor car.
On the outside, it looked perfectly serviceable, perfectly serviceable.
And on the inside, it just looked like a Jackson Pollock sex explosion.
And it was like, oh my word.
Wasn't there an episode of Mr Bean where he tried to paint his living room by just exploding paint in the middle of it?
I think he did, yeah.
I feel like that was a thing that happened.
So it's sort of like that, but where it hasn't quite worked out.
As I think it didn't for Mr Bean, I can't remember exactly.
Yeah.
I think we've touched on it before where it's, I feel like there's almost, I feel like a little bit of mourning is due for the minivan or the MPV,
which goes from being the family useful friendly thing to suddenly being basically being a van for a small business.
A good value van.
That's what it becomes.
It's, yeah.
It's, you know, it's keeping busy.
I don't, I don't know.
I, funnily enough, I was thinking about MPVs, but also thinking about diesel.
Diesel.
Just in the morning because, yeah, I was walking the dog and a lady in a Zafira, like a second gen Zafira,
stopped to let us cross the road as a traffic island, which is very kind of her.
Yeah.
And as we then crossed in front of her car, we cleared the way and she accelerated onwards.
And this was just a normal Zafira diesel auto I could hear from the way it went off up the road.
And it wasn't like it was running rough or, you know, had been highly tuned.
It definitely wasn't.
It was in very tidy shape and it just sounded so bloody awful.
I suddenly thought, oh, the diesel is just the normal force in the diesel.
They're just not pleasant engines.
Are they?
And when people get sort of all exercised about EVs and you go, this is what the EV is standing
in for in sort of normal, functional, everyday family cars for people who can have an EV that
fits their lifestyle.
Yeah.
Goodbye shitty, horrible clatter and a blocked DPF inevitably.
I just thought he sort of, because you don't hear him around so much.
I haven't heard of just a factory rattly diesel for a while.
No, they are bad, especially the short journey diesel, the poor clogged up short journey diesel.
Well, exactly.
Yeah.
That's it.
And I was actually quite impressed with this.
It was genuinely in very good shape and I just thought, well, someone's looked after
that and that's fair enough.
And I suppose if you're that lady driving that Zafira, you'd go, well, why should I trade
it in for something else?
It still works.
And that's fine.
It does perfectly solid attitude to have.
But at such a point as she will be looking for a new car perhaps one day, I just think
she's been liberated from clatter by the fact that we don't really do diesels anymore.
No.
Because they would just toss.
Is the second gen Zaf the one with the aeroplane style handbrake that comes up?
Yes.
It's a really large handbrake that's double ended as it were.
Like a hoop.
And I think that was the one where you could have a sort of more complicated roof with
like airline style sort of overhead lockers in it.
I think.
Was it?
I really like that kind of interior style.
I thought it was good.
Yeah.
I mean, they were sort of good functional cars, I suppose.
People will penalize me for saying this, saying that I can't be a true car enthusiast because
I enjoy the cabins of MPVs.
But I think it's because I said it before, it's because there's so many new cars that
get launched now, like family orientated things, SUVs, crossovers, whatever.
And I think back to what I was reviewing 20 years ago, around about 20 years ago.
And a lot of the time I go, this isn't progress.
I don't see this as being progress.
Certainly in terms of cabin packaging, there's not a lot of progress, I don't think, which
is sad.
Well, this sort of in a way brings me on to the new BMW iX3, which I know you've driven.
And I've just been driving one.
And I think a lot of the coverage from our colleagues in the motoring media, as it used
to be called, they've been getting quite excited about this car because A, it's supposed to
sort of mark a kind of a fresh start for BMW styling.
B, because it's obviously a brand new, this Neuer-class platform that is going to underpin
the next i3, the i3 Saloon, which has been announced, but it starts under this iX3.
So it's a ground up brand new EV platform, really impressive range on it.
And it's just meant to be, because they've been able to sort of start with a clean sheet
of paper, really efficient and really well thought through.
And it is efficient.
The range is phenomenal.
It is.
The range is superb.
It is.
There is no question, the range is really good.
And particularly because it's a pretty big car.
Yeah.
And it's because it's an SUV, it's not as airy.
I'd imagine that the i3 Saloon when it comes will be even more impressive in the real world
because it's just lower, so smaller frontal area.
But I think the iX3, I don't know how you found it.
I like it overall, but I don't think it is revolutionary or radical in most ways.
And I certainly don't think the styling is a breath of fresh air after BMW's recent
years of, you know, being pretty grotesque in a lot of ways.
In fact, my kids, we were out in it.
We all went to the Cinema C Toy Story 5, in fact, which was lovely.
But then we came back to the car and both my kids just spontaneously went,
that car's really ugly as we walked towards it.
And I was like, you know what?
I think you're right.
It is, isn't it?
Yes.
I think we've sort of, we've all been told, no, this is a new start for BMW.
So it's great.
And everyone's gone, okay, yeah, it's great.
Is it though?
No.
I just, the more I looked at it, the more I went, no, no, can't enjoy that.
It's still not great.
I drove this car.
We had it when we went down to the London Concourse.
And then I went through London after the Concourse to basically onto Goodwood,
where I drove the Avenger for a test day thing.
And so I did a lot of miles.
I didn't charge.
I did a huge up and back, back up to Lincolnshire.
And I still had 70 miles left.
I didn't stop to charge, which is a breath of fresh air.
Yeah.
That bit is definitely impressive.
The thing I think about the Neuer class styling is when it comes out on a shallower,
sleeker, smaller car, like a saloon or a coupe, I think it will work.
If you look at the, if you look at the depth of the body of a car like the i8,
which was the last good looking BMW in a while.
The problem with putting that snouty, shallow face on an SUV body is it's too,
there's too much body.
It's a person with a very huge head with very small glasses on that don't suit their head.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
It's true.
A man with a big round head and he's got 20 pence piece sized spectacles on.
And you just go, no, mate.
The optician should have said to you that that's probably not your best look.
I'm going to say.
I do like the look of the new i3 and the new three series.
I think that's the thing you're right.
That styling works on a saloon format.
But yeah, I'm not, I'm absolutely not worried by it.
However, the interior, I think is excellent.
Interior is great.
I love that.
What was that?
They've given it a buzzy way to describe this new concept of interior.
The main thing being that it has this full width screen that sits at the base of the windscreen.
And from the driver's seat, it looks like you're looking into a sort of endless void under the bonnet.
That's right.
If you follow, it's like a spaceship.
Where you're going into hyperspace or something.
Yeah.
So the bonnet, you see the trailing edge of the bonnet there, but then it looks like through the windscreen,
you can see this, this whole black strip, which has all of your information on it, you know,
and it goes across the other side.
So the passengers got like, I don't know, I had it set up.
So it's like the passenger like a compass and the stereo information and the temperature and stuff.
And that's really neat because it genuinely just looks like you're sort of looking into a, into a big gap.
And obviously it's not.
It's a trick, but, but it's, it's really cool.
And the screen, the central screen is very snappy.
And even, I imagine they must have spent a long time this that the noise that it makes when you tap it to do something.
It's this very crisp little dick.
And it just, it matches the speed with which everything reacts.
And I think that's quite a neat touch.
Yeah.
Seats are good.
I don't even mind that weird, like four spoke steering wheel where it's north, south, east, west rather than, you know, diagonal opposites.
Yeah.
It's, is it the one where it's got loads of little nooks and crannies, which is going to be a complete biological disaster in a couple of years time.
I think.
Yeah.
It's only the spokes that are attached to actually the top and bottom ones.
The side to side is not, there's a gap.
You've got your buttons there.
And then there's gaps in the wheel.
It rim doesn't connect to that bit of the central boss.
Again, it's quite interesting.
But I, yeah, I didn't mind that at all.
So no, the interior, very, very impressive.
But that's long been the case with BMWs, even at their darkest, oh no, it's the X6 kind of revoltingness.
The, the interiors have always been solid.
And I think this one is really genuinely excellent.
And there's loads of room in it as well and that sort of stuff that you'd hope for from a bespoke EV platform.
So it's cool.
But also, I think it's quite nice to drive, but it's actually quite soft, I thought, except that then the ride isn't quite as good as you'd hope.
I think it's because the one I've borrowed is on the bigger wheels, but, but it's got a slightly bubbly ride.
But I think it's, yeah, it's, it's very comfortable.
Yes.
And, and it's, there was never any doubt when you were saying, even when you were questioning the styling of BMWs,
the cabin always felt really well put together, well, well engineered.
And so the quality was there.
And in terms of electric drivetrain, BMW have always been really good with their i-Series.
I, the interior screen I wanted to mention is although the clarity of the screen and the functionality is really good,
the steering wheel you mentioned and the shape of the screen are exact perfect examples of when designers will not stop.
They will not stop tweaking and just walk away.
Because the screen is like got all the corners slightly chamfered off and it's like a rhombus kind of shape.
It's not an oblong.
And I looked at it when I got in it and my kids got in the car and they'd already given some impressions as to what they thought on the outside.
My son thought it was okay.
My daughter thought it looked like turds.
And, and I said, see this screen, see the shape of the screen that they've gone for there.
I said, that will be so hopelessly out of date in two years.
It will be so unfashionable.
Why didn't they just do a nice lozenge?
And lo and behold, outside my house right now that I'm going to be driving and filming tomorrow.
I've got a Honda Super N, a car that costs.
Oh, have you?
Yeah, a car that costs a fifth of that BMW.
I'm going to say a fifth.
Well, it's a fifth of the size.
It's a fifth of the size and it's a very, very different class of car.
But it has a really simple oblong screen and it's nice.
And it works.
Next week we should compare notes because you have a Super N outside your house.
I have the new Twingo outside my house, which I know you've driven.
I haven't.
I just to borrow one and obviously a lot of people want to join the queue.
But yes, I've got a bright yellow Twingo outside.
Oh, we got a yellow one.
Yeah, we'll talk about that next week.
So the iX3, genuinely, I think overall it is a decent car and I enjoy driving it.
But I actually sort of thought in many ways it didn't feel as dynamic to drivers.
Perhaps BMWs are their best.
It's better the more you lean on it and it gets better the more you spend time with it, I think.
But initially I was a bit like, oh, it's almost quite boaty at times this.
It's got a bit of a float and it doesn't have air suspension or anything or anything active on it.
It is just sort of what it is and it didn't feel as sharp as I thought maybe it would.
But that's fine.
I'm nothing against a slightly boaty car.
It's just that actually I think hopefully on the smaller wheels the ride would be a bit better
because it does just bubble about.
It feels like it's sort of struggling to control the weight of its own alloys.
But overall, no, it's fine.
I think that's sold out for the year.
I think the UK allocation of iX3 has already gone.
Has it really?
It's been in such demand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I heard.
I reckon maybe BMW has made the ride like that so that they hopefully want to steer people into the i3
and other saloon cars where you get the same styling but it looks better.
You get better handling, better ride, same infotainment, same range if not better
and possibly slightly cheaper car.
That would be a very strange business practice.
Particularly when you know that most punters want SUVs these days to go,
well, just make it shit.
Everybody, we're going to make it shit.
But most of the buying public are twats.
They don't really know what they want.
That we know.
This is a fact.
No, I've walked past three GLCs this morning in the rush hour.
The evidence is clear.
Can you imagine going and choosing a petrol or a diesel powered GLC Mercedes here and now
when you could be driving so many other types of cars?
The evidence is clear, Richard.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the i3, the new one.
Do you know what my brother said?
My brother came to help me do some gardening when I had the i3 and he turned up on the drive
and he just stood there in absolute disbelief and I heard him muttering but I couldn't.
It wasn't audible so I walked outside to greet him and he went,
what is this?
And I told him.
And I said, well, they've changed the front because the grills were huge and stuff.
But he said, but Johnny, that's like when you've got children
and like one of the parents can cope with clearing up poo
and the other parent can clear up, deal with clearing up vomit a bit better.
He said, neither one of you like either of those things, but you can cope with one of them better.
So one of you's either, you know, one of you's the third clearer and one of you's the vomit sweeper
and you just have to nominate one another when you're young parents.
And he said, that's what BMW doing.
It's like none of them are attractive and none of them are well resolved.
It's just you got to either choose turds or vom.
Yeah, I just, I think they've pulled a bit of a number on us by just going,
yeah, we completely rethought our design.
I have you though.
So it's a shame.
But I don't, clearly if it's sold out for the year and I don't know what the allocation was,
I'm imagining it wasn't massive because it will ramp up a new platform quite slowly.
But it's clearly hit the spot.
In fact, a friend of some people we know are trying to buy one.
I mean, I don't know if they've had any success.
Some people we know.
Yeah, some people, some friends that, well, it looks like they're sort of friends or friends
and then, but we've got to know them a little bit.
And then, but also they, we got to know them a little bit.
And then it turned out they thought my name was Dave and now they just call me Dave.
Yeah.
And so in fact, one of them was messaging my wife over the weekend.
So go on then.
What did Dave think of that BNW?
And it's just become a thing.
I just, I'm just Dave for them.
But yeah, anyway, I was kind of interesting, but I just think it is not,
it is not the best thing since sliced bread that some people may have sort of implied.
It is a, it's a, in many ways it's a very good EV, not least for its range.
It's a great EV.
And it drives pretty well.
But it would be greater in, in saloon form, not SUV form, of course.
Now, look guys,
do you think one day at IX3 will turn up on the excellent car buying platform car and classic?
Who knows?
We can't predict the future, but we can talk about the present where this podcast is sponsored by car and classic.
And every week one of us picks a car they have in their classifieds or their auctions.
And in a notional world where both eccentric billionaires buys it for the other person.
This week it's my turn to do the picking.
And I just gone sort of something that I've always liked.
And I think you like, but it's also opposite because it is a BMW.
Oh.
And it is a 1990 BMW Z1.
Not just any Z1.
Have a look at that.
It's a red one.
It's bright red, which I think is a good color for those cars because it's a two-seat roadster.
It does work in red, doesn't it, the Z1?
Yeah.
It's a zany sort of car.
So you don't want a black one or something.
It's sort of just not, you know, you might as well go bright.
It's a crackerjack car when you look at it.
It's like one of those paintings that's...
What was the artist, the movement called when it was all very random and surreal?
It's like a surrealist movement.
Surrealism?
Yeah, or darterism?
Yeah.
I think it's very surreal.
So who owned this damn car?
I'm looking at the particulars.
Oh, well, according to the ad, it was bought in central BMW of Birmingham by a Mr. Crockett.
But the point being that this is one of 75 UK Z1s, as in this was an officially sold Z1.
Yeah, because they were all left-hand drive.
Yeah.
So many of the Z1s kicking around.
They may have originally been sold in Germany or Italy or somewhere, but then they've ended up here.
This one, proper UK car, for what that's worth.
I mean, it's just a nice little detail.
And there were only 75 of them ever brought here, which makes them pretty rare.
That's really rare.
It's only got 20,000 miles on it, or thereabouts, just over 20,000 miles.
It is.
It took a good sense of just reading that.
20,200 miles.
Wow.
That's nothing.
And it is absolutely tidy, as you'd hope, for that mileage.
And including, the interior looks very nice.
They have those, the part of the seats.
I think it is actually leather that's been patterned, but it's sort of camo pattern.
Yeah.
And they wear terribly with age.
And it's a bit of a bastard to get redone.
Is that BMW's own words?
Yes.
Yes.
Well, in German, it's a compound word.
Bit of a bastard is one of those long compound words, but you get the gist.
Well, bitter is please in German, so it's please.
Oh, yeah.
Of a bastard.
It's even got its original stereo, very period.
It's a 1990 car.
It's got a pioneer stereo in it.
This is great.
This is just tidy.
I hadn't noticed that the, they've got this really clear round instruments that
BMW's of the time had.
But on the Z1, the rev counter needle is red and the rest of the needles are white.
I hadn't spotted that as a detail before.
Did they do that on other cars?
I can't remember.
I don't know.
The seats are bespoke to the Z1, aren't they?
The shape, the shell-backed color-coded seats.
They're amazing.
Yes.
And then if memory serves, Z1 seats, they were bespoke, were used in the Jaguar XJ220.
Were they?
But re-trimmed, obviously, because they were the only sporty seats that Jaguar could find
that they could mount low enough to the floor.
Interesting.
Interesting story.
So they did, which must have been good for BMW because they, you know, they could get,
may I have presumably, they could get some money for this, but otherwise, you know,
the Z1 was a very low-run car.
The other thing about the Z1, I've never got to the bottom if this is absolutely accurate,
but the Dodge Viper used, the headlights on the original Dodge Viper were meant for the
BMW Z1.
As in, BMW commissioned whoever it was, you know, Bosch or somebody to tool up to make
these headlights and then had a change of heart and decide to redesign the front end.
And the Viper was done on a very limited budget.
And they somehow, Dodge requires that they got wind of the fact that there was this fully
tooled-up lamp unit that had no home.
And so they adopted it because it was cheaper to do that than to pay to tool up a brand new
lamp.
So that's the story.
And I've never found out that's true.
So the Z1 has sort of benevolently donated other parts to other interesting cars, even
though itself it was, you know, sort of very obscure, very low-run.
I think with the course of the sliding doors that drop into the slills.
I think the Z1's eyes are cooler than the Viper's eyes.
That would be my take home here.
I think.
Yeah.
I like the, I like the Z1's face.
Look at, talking about the Neuer class.
Look at the bottom hub, because the front of the Z1 is a tail of two halves, isn't it?
You've got that clam shell, it looks like a clam shell bonnet, but it isn't.
There's that line that goes around for the bumpers.
And so it's got all the lights at the top end and all of the snouts at the bottom end
with the number plate.
Yeah.
I've told you my memory, my one and only memory growing up of one of these.
And it would have been, when did they stop making the Z1?
Oh, I don't know, probably like 1994 maybe, I'm going to say.
It wasn't, it didn't last very long.
I was at uni in 97.
Yeah, 97.
And I remember one of these pulling up outside the nightclub we were queuing up to get into.
And I think it was white and it was at night in the summer.
And a guy pulled up and the door went down and a girl stepped out in like a glamorous dress.
And I'm pretty sure he was playing LL Cool J on the stereo.
And that would have been 97.
And we all went bloody hell.
And I think that was the one and only time I've seen one when they were relatively current.
That was it.
I beg your pardon, by the way, production of the Z1 went from March 89 until June 91.
Is that it?
So that was it.
And they only made 8,000 of them.
89 to 91.
That's almost the same as the Bloody Nissan Figaro and the Pow and the Pike cars.
So, I mean, I love a Z1.
I wouldn't call it a pretty car.
It's an interesting car.
But yeah, it is sort of in the way.
The nose is kind of a bit odd looking.
But for me, one of the reasons why I've grown to love the Z1 even more than I already did,
which was quite a lot, is because as far as I'm aware, the Z1 has had two celebrity owners
and they are Bernard Sumner from New Order and Chris Lowe from Pet Shop Boys,
two of my favorite bands.
Favorite bands?
Yeah.
Yeah, basically the Z1 is the synth pop car of choice.
And that for me just makes it extra excellent.
So I've always loved these.
But this one, I think, looks like an absolute crack.
It is not cheap, I should say, because Z1's felt like they sat for quite a long time,
just a sort of 20-ish grand.
They did.
25 maybe.
And now the double one.
This one.
Yeah, 47495, this is up four.
But I mean, this is a bit of a find another because you're going,
oh, there's one's out there.
Is there another Z1 you can find with 20,000 miles on it?
It's not going to be easy.
Well, you know, I feel like in the not too distant future,
finance is pending.
I need to scratch my BMW itch.
I feel slightly embarrassed that I've never owned one.
Well, I've owned one for two days.
And it's not that I've ever been anti-BMW.
I've just never got around to it.
And I'm a bit frustrated at the ones I love the most have just rocketed in value.
Probably people like Chris Harris keep going on about them.
They get.
Probably.
You know, I just said find another red Z1 with around 20,000 miles on it.
Well, it seems like car and classic.
Exactly that for sale.
And it's actually 60 grand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's another red one here in Staffordshire, which I wonder if that's a UK car as well.
It doesn't.
Yeah, it is.
Really?
I won't just notice this.
There are two red UK supplied Z1s with around 20,000 miles on them.
This one actually has 22,287 miles that I call this,
but otherwise they are weirdly similar cars.
Cars and catnip strikes again, folks.
Be careful.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So in fact, the one I picked for 47,495 looks like a bit of a bargain.
You save yourself 12 grand there by going for that one.
If it's as good as it looks, it is an absolute peach.
Well, I want an E39 M5, but because I've still got a Honda Insight stranded on the Isle
of Man.
Okay.
Spoiler alert.
It's still there.
I still have to go.
When I go back and get that car from the Isle of Man,
I want to be able to find that yellow 520 E34 that that lady's owned from you,
who drives to the paper shop every day.
I want her to agree to sell me that car for a reasonable price and do the deal and come
back from the Isle of Man, BMW'd up.
That would be the dream.
That would be the dream.
That would mean you'd have actually left the Insight behind.
You'd have come home in a bit.
So it's a brilliant scheme in some way.
Some way.
I would like you to do it because I want you to own that yellow 5 series.
I would really like to own it.
I'd love the E34 and I know it's not an M car, but it's just I love the story.
There.
I know.
Help me, people.
Help me find that lady.
Just looking at the pictures of that Z1, I was looking at it and going,
I can feel the gear change in that.
That sort of BMW's of that era particularly.
I think it's my colleague, John Barker at Evo to describe BMW gear changes at their best.
They feel knuckly.
There's a sort of it's mechanical, but it's no one else quite does it like they do.
I don't know what's different in their mechanisms, but no.
There is a BMW manual gear shift quality back in the day.
It's true, isn't it?
But I've never quite liked the shape of the knob, even though it feels good in the hands.
Ergonomically, it's spot on.
I don't like the aesthetic of the knob and I don't like the aesthetic of the knob in my Boxter because it's a similar oval top.
Whereas the first gen Boxter is completely circular and it just looks more chunky and substantial.
I just think it looks better.
But again, the ergonomics of the Boxter knob are brilliant.
Yeah, I just thought I'd say that.
I was going to test car and classic before we go and see if there's any Fisca Carmas for sale.
No, Fisca Ocean, sorry.
Fisca Ocean.
They're still on other platforms, e.g. Auto Trailer because they're basically new cars, aren't they?
There is one.
I've just found one.
What, on car and classic?
Yeah, I have, yeah.
Go on, how much?
It's in Austria and it's the extreme...
Hang on, it's in Austria and it's right hand drive.
It's done 700 miles from new, so it's unregistered.
What?
It's located in Graz in Austria because it was made by a Magna Steyer who...
Yeah, what I was going to say is that just escaped from the factory, that one?
So this is a brand new Fisca Ocean.
I'll tell you why I'm suddenly interested in Fisca Oceans.
And this is the biggest battery, biggest range, solar sky roof, blah, blah, blah.
It's 24,000 euros, but it's new.
You can get them a lot cheaper than that when they're not new.
Yes.
So there are four on Auto Trailer at the moment and the cheapest is 16,000.
Yeah, they're lower than that, I can get them lower than that.
I would have thought they were lower.
They should be lower than that because you need to buy two, so you've got a parts car, surely.
Because any body work damage or something, you're just going to be buggered, aren't you?
You can have to fix it with Gaff and Papier Mache.
I think people who used to own Saabs, when Saab went out of business and they kept them for, say, 10 years, 12 years.
I think the next generation of those people are Fisca Oceans people.
What do you think?
Yeah, I think so.
And when I went for a walk this morning, there's someone in my village with a Fisca Oceans.
And I think I'm going to try and set up a federation of Fisca folks.
They're out there, but you have to look so carefully.
The more we keep saying Fisca Oceans, the more that I feel like that sounds like a singer.
I know I'm thinking of Frank Ocean, I get where this is coming from, but Fisca Oceans just sounds like, you know, quite a soulful voice.
Fisca Oceans.
Yeah, he's one of those people who's like, I just never listen to his stuff, but apparently he's massive.
I heard he's just filled, you know, a Shea Stadium something.
He's really popular at the moment, his old Fisca Oceans.
If he ever announces a tour, it sells out within three minutes.
Yeah, yeah.
Fisca Oceans.
I quite like the Fisca Oceans.
I very nearly bought one when they're hovering around the 10 to 12 grand mark, which you can probably still get them at, you know, if you know people.
Well, I like them a lot.
I am amazed that they are up for what they're up for, because as in the ones that I can find for sale.
I mean, there's one here, and it's got 12,000 miles on it, and it's up for 21,990.
I mean, you'd have to have your head inspected if you paid that.
You've got to really want one.
Yeah, and it's, I just don't, I mean, does anyone buy one now?
I suppose if you know absolutely nothing about cars and you just can't be born, you just see one and go, I like that.
I like it.
It's blue.
I like the color.
And you do no research.
You do no research whatsoever.
None.
Then you could conceivably blunder.
But come on.
I mean, everybody's got the ability to search the internet briefly and it would just go, this car was made for like six minutes and then the company collapsed.
And so there's no after sale support whatsoever.
If they made another back to the future now, maybe it should be in a fiscal ocean.
Do you not think?
Yeah.
But let's put this to the audience, Rich.
Are there any Fisca owners out there listening or watching this podcast?
I want to know from the Fisca folks.
Hi, I'm Fisca owner.
This is my new single, Living Under the Bridge.
You say that.
Yeah, if you do, if you have a Fisca ocean, if you are a Mr. Fisca owner or miss Fisca, whatever you are, please drop us a line.
Hello, that's Smith and Sniff.
Entitled your email.
It's a constant nightmare of parts availability.
And yeah, we can maybe we could put people together, you know, support group.
Oh, that would be, it's the Federation of Fiskers Federation of Fisca files.
Yeah.
Fisca files.
Fisca fans.
I don't know what it would be.
I don't know.
I'm just I'm kind of it.
Because I was since I've looked for Fiskarations for sale just out of interest.
Because I was like, shouldn't they be, I don't know, like 500 quid just because.
No.
Yeah, like MG6 is where MG6 became sort of not very valuable because they seem to have stopped supporting them for a lot of parts and things.
And it's just aggro.
I think I think a Fiskar is is for if you're buying it from a really low price point, I bet you there's already a forum or a gang of people who are able to crack certain codes.
And I think it could be one of those cars which actually goes up in value in time because it's it's such a quirky thing.
I mean, the Fiskar Karma, I went and did a car collection car cave late break show video of good few months back now of a guy that's got such a vast collection of cars, everything from a steam car, which we went out and to a Fiskar Karma.
And I said, Oh, this is unusual.
I haven't seen one for ages.
And he said, Well, the truth is, I had a Della Hay engine block that was very, very rare.
And I had a collector in Italy trying to buy it off me.
And he said, I don't really want to sell it because I'm keeping it as a spare block for one of my Della Hayes because he had four Della Hayes.
And in the end, the guy said, I have got a Fiskar Karma with like 2000 kilometers on it, and I will straight swap you it for from the for the bare engine block for this Della Hayes or Della Haye.
And in the end, he just went, That sounds interesting.
I'll do it.
And I said to have you driven it since he brought it over and he went, No.
But do you know why? Do you know why the Italian guy, the Italian guy's wife apparently let on to why they didn't want it anymore?
And it wasn't because it was a rubbish car.
It's because one time she got locked in it and couldn't work out how to unlock herself from it and had a panic attack because she was in it for 40 minutes.
And she said, I never want to sit in that car again.
Wow.
Really bizarre, really bizarre.
Trauma Karma.
Well, I suppose the the I have very briefly driven the Fiskar Karma and my abiding memory is that it felt quite good from a sort of engineering point of view.
It was interesting.
Yeah, but that interior was quite cramped and the steering wheel was sort of too small and too much of it was spoke.
It felt like it was just too bulky somehow had a weird steering wheel.
Was there lots of centre console from memory in comparison to legroom ratio?
Yes, it was cramped.
Like a Humvee.
It was definitely cramped.
Yes.
That's how you just go, there should be more in here and there's not.
It's the curse of the swollen trans tunnel, I would say.
I think it is, yeah.
Where you think, what's going on with this transmission tunnel? It's absolutely enormous.
It's like a mountain range between me and the passenger.
Did they put batteries down there or something? Is that what it was?
I think they might have been when the T-spine of batteries was the favoured arrangement rather than the false floor.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
And I think it had a spine of batteries.
My Chevrolet Volt had the T-spine hence being a four-seater not a five-seater.
Damn, I miss that car.
I was thinking about it the other day.
Got a lot of time for it, Rich.
If you either, if any kind of fisk are in fact, hello at smithansniff.com, get in touch.
Yeah.
And just entitle your email, I love fisking.
Yes.
And we'll read some out maybe next time or something, I don't know.
You said to me the other week, remember to ask me about mini cab companies and then I keep forgetting but now I've remembered.
Oh yeah.
Well, there's a mini cab company around here and they pick up one of my neighbour's kids for the school run or college run or something in the morning.
And I know if I'm running late with my kids that we will encounter this mini cab on a very narrow part of a cul-de-sac which one of us has to back off and reverse all the way up the road.
And the mini cab company is called, it's got two precious metals or stones in it which is what made me think I needed to chat to you about it.
Did you write it down?
Was it called like platinum diamond services or platinum?
I realised these are two related notes, yes.
I've got written down here gold star diamond.
That's it.
Is that the name of it?
Gold star diamond cabs and I just thought, hang on a minute, there's just too much precious metals, precious stones, they've just thrown too much at it.
You've got a precious metal and you've got another thing in there with star and diamond.
I've got three things written on the top of my list of notes and they are Sabaro Design School, name of mini cab company Johnny and gold star diamond.
And I now realise two of those things are related, Sabaro Design School is, we know we were talking about the Sabaro, what was it called?
The Windhound.
A Windhound.
The Windhound cat.
A few people wrote in and pointed out that Sabaro did run a design school in Switzerland for car designers.
That was actually part of his buzzness.
It wasn't just making zany cars themselves.
Gold star diamonds, too much.
So it got me thinking, you often see mini cab companies who just have quite odd names for back in the olden days when you had yellow pages and you used to physically look up cars.
Yes.
And Karl Cox, when I interviewed him the other week, he went for astral disco services when he set himself up as a business as a district.
Oh, yes.
To go to the front of the line.
To be at the front of the astral.
Yeah.
It was a sort of, there was a kind of turf war with mini cabs to get to the first one in the yellow pages.
And so you'd get lots of like A to B cabs and axis cabs and then someone hardfark taxis or something.
Yes, yes.
I'm pretty sure.
Someone would just go left.
Ah, cabs.
No, that's cheating.
I'm pretty sure in Taunton and Somerset there was ABBA cabs.
I'm sure it was ABBA, just AWBA.
Well, no, that was Benny from ABBA just set up a West Country Taxi service after the ban.
What was he using as a cabs?
He was using Saabs by any chance.
Yeah, Volvos.
Yeah, Volvos, of course.
Yeah, yeah.
Because then the estate for the airport run.
Ah, yeah.
Yeah.
Go for the Nielsen stretch for the VIP work.
Yeah.
Do you ever find yourself, it's like you see someone doing a job and you just go, I would
never want to do that job ever.
And I'm not talking about something that's just sort of, you know, physically demanding
or like, you know, hosing out an abattoir or something like that.
I was going to say abattoir for me is just a plain no.
Yeah.
Just couldn't do it.
Abattoir would not be on my list.
Couldn't and wouldn't do it.
I'm not sure that I wouldn't enjoy working in an abattoir more than doing the job of
a man that I saw the other week.
My boy and I went up to the British Motor Museum in Warwickshire on a Friday evening for the
opening of the spoiler alerts exhibition of Hot Hatches.
Sorry, I just, I thought you were going to say spoiler alert and then say some.
No, no, no.
It is called spoiler alert.
I'm one of the talking heads that's on a screen within the exhibition.
They got a few people, Steve Cropley did it and then it was very nice.
They asked me if I would go up and just talk about Hot Hatches and, you know, from back
in the day and what made them special.
Yeah.
And clearly some of it wasn't totally unusable because I am there on the screen, but I went
up, when they first contacted me about it, I went, would you be a talking head in a Hot
Hatch exhibition?
And they said, oh, by the way, it's going to be called spoiler alert.
I was like, well, then of course that's a brilliant name.
I would love to.
So, yeah, I went to the, went to the opening of that the other Friday afterwards.
It was, you know, sort of about eight o'clock in the evening and my boy was really hungry.
And we, for some reason, the navigation went the best way to get home is to go north, even
though you live south from here.
Go up the M40, M42 around the bottom of Birmingham and then M5 straight shot down towards the
west country.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
Because it's motorway.
Otherwise you're going cross country.
We got there by going cross country and it's fine.
But yeah, when it was later on and the motorway was clear, that is the fastest way, even though
it's more miles.
This is by the bike.
We got on the motorway and we stopped at Warwick North Bound services on the M40.
Now, I don't think I've not been there for years.
I'm sure, you know, the M40, I still think it was quite a new motorway, even though it's
like 30 odd years old.
So I think if the services have been quite new and modern and that one at Oxford is sort
of very pleasant and glassy and it's got water feature at the front.
Oh, I do love a water feature.
Yeah.
Except when you're stopping because you're desperate for a wee.
And if there's a big waterfall going on outside, it really doesn't help the situation.
But apart from that, yeah, delightful.
Warwick North is a grim services.
And on a Friday evening, now it was a hot, sunny, pleasant summer Friday evening.
And there was a lady sitting on.
They've got picnic benches out the front, which all look a bit shabby to start with.
And, you know, just feel like they're at that stage where you go, that looks like it could
collapse at any minute.
And sitting on one of the picnic benches was a lady with a four pack of carling, which
she was enthusiastically tucking into whilst also smoking some tabs.
And that is sort of like the first person you see.
She's almost like, you know, the sort of the matriot of Warwick North services.
Is this the shameless of the UK motorway services?
It seems like it sounds quite downtrodden.
I wanted to go over to this lady and go, what are you doing?
Have you got somewhere else to be?
Yeah, it's like this is just odd.
You're like, how did you get here?
We're on a motorway.
What are you doing?
But no, we went inside and we got some food and stuff.
But as we were leaving, just by the entrance, there is the obligatory motorway service area
amusement arcade with gambling machines.
Oh, yeah.
They're not depressing.
They are always one of the most depressing things that you can see because they're always dark.
And it always looks like the carpet is going to be very sticky even though, you know,
there's no reason where it would be.
It's just they've got that vibe.
Yes.
And I noticed in the, as I said, it was lovely and sunny outside.
And in some bits of services, there are windows and you can see that.
And so it gives a little bit of natural light.
Yeah.
But no, the gambling bit, the arcade, it's dark, doesn't have a window.
And there's a man who is clearly employed to stand in there and make sure people aren't,
well, I suppose underage is one thing they're guarding against, isn't it?
But also just dicking around or trying to tip the machines over or whatever.
Really?
He stands in a dark depressing...
Standing on a beautiful Friday evening.
He is standing in a darkened room, but which hasn't got full doors on it.
They just have those little sort of flippy, you know...
Saloon doors.
Yeah, not even that.
They're sort of modern saloon doors, I suppose.
So you can see out onto the concourse of the services,
but that's not a view that you relish, is it?
And then, but I saw him and I was like, you'd think.
He's quite a young guy.
He's like, naturally, because it's so boring.
There didn't seem to be anyone else in there.
You'd be on your phone, but I guess he's probably been told,
you're not allowed to be on your phone.
You're at work, but his job is to stand in a dark room
in a depressing services on a beautiful evening.
I just thought, I couldn't...
What a tedious job.
I couldn't think of anything worse.
I would rather be scraping cow parts off the floor.
At least it's something to do.
Do you think your brain would fold in on itself with boredom
and you'd just, like, eventually just collapse to the ground?
I would...
I just couldn't...
I used to...
I was saying this to my niece and my daughter the other week,
saying how I used to quite enjoy mundane student jobs
because it would let my imagination run wild.
I've got quite a fertile imagination, or I did do.
And so if I was him, that guy,
in my head, I'd be writing the next Harry Potter,
thinking, right, I'm going to write a book which becomes a phenomenon,
or perhaps a, I don't know, children's TV series.
And I'm going to get over the line somehow.
I know what you mean.
I think, though, that your...
That kind of creative part of your brain,
it works better when you have a sort of mundane job to do,
but that's the thing, you are doing something,
but it's something that doesn't need brain power.
So because I had the same thing, like, when I had to unbox,
you know, boxes and boxes of shirts
when I worked in the stock room at Next,
and put them on hangers and then put them in size order on a rail
so then someone could come in and take them out to the shop floor
or move them into another part of the stock room, whatever.
And it was repetitive, but it needed very little brain power,
and so the rest of your brain could be doing something else.
But I think when you're just trapped in a room,
it's almost like your brain just kind of atrophies
and you can't think of anything because it's just a blank space.
I don't know.
That's what I think filled me with horror.
I thought, I think that's too boring.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just not...
No, it genuinely filled me with horror.
I was just like, oh my God, imagine having to do that job.
But like, no disrespect to this guy who's doing it.
It's clearly, it's his job.
Maybe he enjoys it, but I just thought that is not for me.
I would not want to do that job.
Maybe he's got a discreet earpiece in which you think he's a bouncer,
but he's actually learning Thai, how to speak Thai.
Okay.
What's that online ordering?
Not ordering, online learning, foreign learning.
Dua Lipa.
No, Dua Lingo.
Dua Lipa.
Dua Lipa.
Dua Lipa.
Because I think she puts all of the useful phrases.
You know, you want to like learn well.
She puts all the useful phrases up against a really catchy melody.
Yeah, Dua Lingo is the Dua Lingo.
So over the course of a year of mundane minding of jackpot machines,
he's actually learning three languages and he's going to go and 18 months later,
he's going to go out and knock the world dead with talent elsewhere.
Yeah.
I hope so.
He's the new president of the UN because he's so multi-lingual from standing around.
Good.
Well, anyway, that's how one cleared up.
We should probably start sort of, I don't know, move this towards the exits.
Well, you with your...
I've left my tab open on car and classic and as we would BMW chatting,
I just quickly thought, ooh, E46 BMW M3, still my favorite M3.
Again, they were cheap for ages.
Damn it, I didn't buy one then.
I've just found a CSL, the one that everybody seems to want.
It's done 7,000 miles from new.
How much do you think it is?
How much do you think it is?
I'm going to say that's something silly like 100 grand.
It's 169,950 quid.
Shit off.
Yeah.
But you have to remember, it's still got a slightly horrible gearbox.
I know.
Those are SMG, aren't they?
Yeah.
So single clutch, automated manual.
Yeah.
No.
The CS is the one you want.
Yeah, you're right.
It's still got that lovely little ducktail boot lid,
but they were available with a manual.
You can have them with those really great wheels on it.
But yeah, I just don't get the fuss over the CSL
because it does have a very old fashioned gearbox.
I drove a CSL when they were new
and I actually got out of a normal M3
at the time, new.
And I didn't think that it was that much better.
It was better.
Well, the weight and everything and the carbonness,
the carbon air box, blah, blah, blah.
But ever since that
and ever since seeing all the fandom around it,
all I think is just buy an E46 M3
and spend 1,500 quid on a shit-hot carbon air box.
And maybe if you really wanted to,
put some extra trick suspension on it
and just enjoy it because it's basically the same.
Well, this is the problem, isn't it?
Your 170 grand CSL, you can't really enjoy it so much.
That's just now a vessel for money
to be moved around between people.
You wouldn't rack the shit out of it, would you?
Because it's too valuable and you'd be putting miles on it.
It's one of those cars we've talked about before.
A car that becomes defined by its low mileage
is a car that you can't enjoy.
No, it's so, so sad.
Anyway, on that Jerry Springer-like thought for the day,
we bring things to a close before we do, though.
I have three things that I'd like to share with you.
The first, of course, is that Johnny has a solo YouTube channel
called The Late Break Show.
And sometimes he can remember what's on it.
Let's see.
Not this week.
Can I make something up?
Now, Johnny goes and looks around a car cave
of a man called Dave Sigaretz
who has the world's largest collection of Kea Carons.
So do you tune in for that?
Yes, that's true.
I've done loads of videos, guys.
Go watch some. I really appreciate it. Thank you.
Just go and watch the Carl Cox ones, the decade.
The second thing is that I have several books out.
One of them I might have mentioned before is called Petrolhead.
It's a collection of some of my columns from Evo magazine.
It's available as a paperback or an e-book from Amazon
or go to smithandstiff.com.
And in our Merchants I shop, you can buy the paperback there,
along with my boring car trivia books and t-shirts, stickers, mugs
that have sort of Smith and Sniff related stuff on them.
They don't have pictures of my books on them.
The books are separate.
And the third thing I'm going to say is actually something
I just got reminded of when we were talking about, you know,
using boredom as a passport to creativity that to this day,
Jerry Seinfeld goes and shuts himself in his office
every single day with nothing else to do and no distractions
and doesn't let himself leave until he's written some jokes
on a bit of paper.
Because he believes that boredom, if the human mind is bored,
it will find ways to amuse itself.
And so he harnesses that and he just sits there
and he will sit there until he's absolutely bored
and then he'll force himself to write some jokes
and then he's done some work for the day.
That's amazing because he kind of doesn't need to.
Exactly, I thought that.
But at the same time it's keeping his mind supple
at one point for what is, you know, his job.
So no, it's kind of interesting.
Well, we know people that know Jerry
and I would one day like to talk to him
and I would make a point of not referencing any Porsches.
I would talk about lots of other cars and comedy and other things.
Saabs, his character in Seinfeld had Saabs,
so maybe we, you know, you could have a good Saab chat.
Well, maybe, should we say, can we chat to Jerry
just for like three minutes about Saabs?
That'd be great.
Well, we saw him, didn't we, across a room at Red Spout
when we went there and we were too shy to go and say hello to him.
But yeah, well, we're going to Pebble Beach, aren't we?
So maybe we'll see him there
and we can go over and just shout Saab from afar
and then have a chat.
But if he ever says Porsche, just walk off.
Just like it's a trigger word and you just go.
I just turn, I just turn on my heels and I just go.
Even though I'm interested in Porsches, I'm on principle.
I can't talk to Jerry.
Yeah, yeah, no, but it's the thing.
It's not the point of principle, isn't it?
Just don't indulge him.
Yeah, they're all the interesting thing about Porsche.
I'm gone, I'm gone.
Or just deny the fact that you knew anything
about Jerry Seinfeld's interest in Porsches.
Yeah, all that you've ever heard of Porsche.
He just goes, I was looking at this Porsche,
he just goes, oh, what?
Oh, what?
What are you talking about?
Oh, sorry.
No, you've lost me, mate.
Let's get back to Saabs.
I know what they are.
OK, well, that's enough from us, but we'll be back on Friday
with another of our Q&A answering shows
and then we'll show again on Monday.
Until then, goodbye.
Bye, everybody.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye.
I was really worried there was another Hornet in here.
After the last time that Hornet got in and just eyeballed me
in a really local hard man kind of way, but few, just a phone.
About this episode
A lost “sport” towel becomes a funny, slightly emotional story about boating mishaps, then turns into a broader chat on how cars get “demoted” over time. They mourn the decline of MPVs as they morph into work vans, debate the everyday reality of diesel (clattery, especially on short trips), and compare that to EVs. The conversation lands on BMW’s new iX3: impressive real-world range and a strong interior concept, but not truly revolutionary styling—kids even call it ugly.
Jonny and Richard have a plan for an upcoming trip to the US. Also in this episode, a lost family heirloom, the unmourned death of the diesel, a small review of the BMW iX3, the price of M3 CSLs, the wisdom of buying a Fisker Ocean, minicab company names, a miserable trip to Warwick services, one of the worst jobs in the world, and another top pick from the wonderful world of Car & Classic.
