Concept
Mission Motorsport
Mission Motorsport is a group that helps injured soldiers feel better by letting them take part in car racing and other car activities.
Concept
Great British Car Journey
The Great British Car Journey is a place where you can see lots of old and famous British cars all in one spot.
Car
Ford Escort Mark III
The Ford Escort Mark III is a type of small car made by Ford in the 1980s. It had different engine sizes, like a 1.3-liter engine, which means the size of the engine inside the car.
Term
Cosworth
Cosworth is a company that makes very strong and fast engines for cars. When people talk about a 'Cosworth' car, they mean a car that has been made faster and more powerful by this company.
Concept
limited edition
A limited edition car is a special kind of car made in small amounts, with different looks or features than the regular ones.
Car
Citroën Saxo
The Citroën Saxo is a small car from France that had lots of different versions with small changes, like different colors or stripes.
Car
Citroen Saxo
The Citroen Saxo is a small, simple car that was easy to drive and didn’t cost much. Many people used it to get around town because it was cheap and reliable.
Car
Chevrolet Nova
The Chevrolet Nova is a small car made by Chevrolet. It was popular for special versions that had extra features or looked different.
Term
special edition
A special edition car is a car that has extra or different features than the normal one. They are often made in small numbers so they are special.
Car
Chevrolet Astro
The Chevrolet Astro is a type of van made by Chevrolet. It was popular a long time ago and people used it for carrying family or stuff.
Term
factory tilt slide sunroof
A factory tilt slide sunroof is a window on the roof of the car that can open a little or slide back. It is put in by the car maker, not added later.
Car
Aston Martin Lagonda
The Aston Martin Lagonda is a fancy car made by Aston Martin. It was special because it had cool digital screens inside when most cars had regular dials.
Term
cathode ray instruments
Cathode ray instruments are old-style digital screens in some cars that showed things like speed. They worked kind of like old TV screens.
Term
B pillar
The B pillar is the strong post between the front and back doors of a car that helps keep the car safe and sturdy.
Car
Ford Falcon
The Ford Falcon is a big car made by Ford that lots of people used for everyday driving a long time ago. It was known for being strong and reliable, so many families liked it.
Car
Renault Zoe
The Renault Zoe is a small electric car made by Renault. It runs on electricity instead of gasoline and is good for city driving.
Car
Chevrolet Camaro
The Chevrolet Camaro is a fast and sporty car made in America. People like it because it looks cool and can go really fast.
Brand
Harley-Davidson
Harley-Davidson makes big motorcycles that are easy to recognize because of their loud sound and cool style. Many people love riding them for fun and adventure.
Concept
pre-war cars
Pre-war cars are old cars made before World War II, so they look very different from modern cars and are often very special or collectible.
Term
roadster
A roadster is a small car that usually only has two seats and no roof, so you can drive with the wind in your hair.
Term
lateral shudder
Lateral shudder is when a car shakes side to side while driving, making the ride uncomfortable. It usually happens because something is off with the car's wheels or suspension.
Part
Coventry Simplex engine
This was an old type of engine made in Britain a long time ago. It was simple and worked well for the cars back then.
Term
1.5-litre engine
This means the engine is medium-sized, with space inside it to burn fuel and make power.
Brand
Coventry Climax
Coventry Climax was a company that made special engines that were light and powerful, often used in race cars.
Car
Vauxhall Cresta PA
The Vauxhall Cresta PA is a car made in Britain around 1961 or 1962. It looks like the big American cars from the 1950s with a special curved front window.
Car
American Motors Corporation (Amc) Matador
The AMC Matador is a medium-sized car made in America many years ago. It came in different styles and was known for looking a bit different from other cars at the time.
Car
TR6
The TR6 is an old British sports car that’s fun to drive and looks very stylish. People who like classic cars often enjoy owning one because it feels special on the road.
Car
Ford Capri
The Ford Capri is a small, sporty car that was popular in Europe many years ago. People liked it because it looked cool and was fun to drive without costing too much.
Car
Toyota Celica
The Toyota Celica is a small, sporty car that lots of people liked because it looked good and was easy to take care of. It was made for people who wanted a fun car without spending too much money.
Car
Volkswagen Gti
The Volkswagen Golf is a small car that lots of people like because it’s easy to drive and good for everyday use. It’s been made for many years and is known for being reliable and comfortable.
Car
Peugeot 205
The Peugeot 205 CTI is a small car with a roof that can open up, so you can enjoy fresh air while driving. It was popular because it was easy to drive and fun to use on nice days.
Car
Peugeot 205 GTI
The Peugeot 205 GTi is a small, sporty car made in the 1980s and 1990s. People liked it because it was fun to drive and quick for its size.
Car
Toyota Alphard
The Toyota Alphard is a big, fancy van that can carry lots of people comfortably. It’s like a moving living room, great for families or groups who want to travel in style.
Car
Nissan Serena
The Nissan Serena is a big van that can carry many people and their stuff. Families like it because it’s roomy and comfortable for trips.
Car
Hustler Suzuki Hustler
The Suzuki Hustler is a small car that looks a bit like a tiny SUV. It’s easy to park and good for driving around the city.
Concept
limited production run
Limited production run means the car was only made in small numbers, so not many exist, which can make it special and more valuable.
Car
Zenvo ST1
The Zenvo ST1 is a very fast and rare sports car made in Denmark. It’s special because only a few were made, and it can go really, really fast.
Car
Mazda MX-5
The Mazda MX-5 is a small, sporty car that is fun to drive and easy to handle. The first version came out in the late 1980s and is well-loved by car fans.
Term
CB radio
A CB radio is a small radio that lets drivers talk to each other over short distances. It's often used by truckers and motorcyclists to share information while on the road.
Concept
mechanically immaculate
Mechanically immaculate means the bike or car works perfectly with no problems or broken parts.
Term
handlebars
Handlebars are the bars you hold to steer a motorcycle. They help you turn and control the bike.
Part
flat six
A flat six is a type of engine with six parts that make power, arranged flat and opposite each other. This helps the bike or car stay balanced and run smoothly.
Term
24 valve
A 24-valve engine means the engine has 24 little doors (valves) that open and close to let air and fuel in and out. This helps the engine work better and makes the car more powerful.
Car
Ford Granada
The Ford Granada is a big car that was made to be comfortable and roomy. Many people used it for work or family trips because it was easy to drive and had plenty of space.
Car
Opel Manta
The Opel Manta is a small, sporty car made in Germany a long time ago. People liked it because it looked cool and was fun to drive on twisty roads.
LIVE
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I'm Jonny Smith.
I'm Richard Porter.
And this is Smith & Sniff, a podcast on which two friends talk about cars and many other things.
Here's the situation. It is Thursday. It's the day of our live show in Age of Mission and Motor
Sports at the Great British Car Journey in Derbyshire. And we are currently
in a historic guest house on the, I would say, waterfront of Matlock Bath.
I mean, it is water. It's a river. But if you've been to Matlock Bath before,
you'll know it's sort of like a seaside town that's not near the sea.
Landlocked seaside town.
I mean, really landlocked. There's a lot of land between here and any particular
sea you care to mention, but it does have a lot of fish and chip shops nonetheless.
So it's got the vibe.
And because it's surrounded by scenic vistas, it's perfect for driving and
motorcycling.
Well, yeah.
And so you will hear many motorcycles going by.
Yes. There's no escaping it. We're in my room at the guest house.
Lovely room, but it's at the front of the building. So there are bikers.
It's a Thursday and there's still the town is crawling with bikers and Goths.
Yeah, Goths as well. Interestingly said, I saw a lady, a Goth lady walking past a minute.
I think I saw another Goth lady just now.
So the Goths are in town. How's there always in town?
What I like about being here, though, is, you know, I sort of wrestle with how to say the
city where I live, because Bath doesn't sit well with me because I'm from the north of England.
Because you're a northerner.
Well, it's fine. This is Matlock Bath.
This is Matlock Bath.
There is no question about how to say it.
It's Matlock Bath every single day. So that's nice. I can relax.
But when you say Matlock Bath, because I'm a West Country person,
but you are allowed to.
I'm probably the minority.
Well, here, yeah, definitely.
But so this is agreeable. We're looking at the window and there is Ann Monkey Puzzle Tree outside,
which is always a nice thing to see.
I commented to the owner of the guest house how majestic her monkey puzzle was.
Because it's one of my favorite trees.
And I reckon that one is over 100 years old.
It's absolutely massive.
It's huge, isn't it?
They grow so slowly.
They grow there. They're like tortoises ever so slow growth, Pam.
Right. Yeah.
Why is that, then?
They're really hard.
Oh, is it a very, very hard one?
I think it's just tough.
Interesting.
Just tough. The leaves are not really leaves.
They're like pangolin back.
Scales.
Scales.
Pangolin back.
Pangolin flakes.
Bloody love pangolins.
I feel so sorry for them.
They got a bad rap, didn't they?
Rap.
Rap.
Well, the pangolins are just getting persecuted
because they are exotic and used in completely made-up medicine.
Like seahorses, they get caught and ground up.
Yes. You go, oh, I've got earache.
Oh, you want some pangolin dust on that?
Yeah.
Oh, my balls are a bit small.
I've got a great powder that you can rub on them.
Yeah, we're struggling.
We really want to have a child and we're struggling to conceive.
Oh, you know what you want to do?
You want to get some panda's eyeball dried
and you want to poke that at the end of your knob with a spoon.
Are you sure?
I thought I was just going to see a fertility expert in a normal hospital.
No, honestly, that's real advice there.
That's real expertise.
Industry experts all agree.
Look, guys, I think we all agree.
If I rub scales of pangolin on my shaft, it looks slightly wider.
That's all that.
Anyway, so very exciting.
We're looking forward to this evening.
Yeah.
And thank you to everyone who's bought a ticket.
It's sailed out, which is great because it's in aid of an excellent cause,
Mission Motorsport.
Yeah.
And we have just been to the Great British Car Journey
where we're doing the show.
It's fantastic.
It's just, I mean, it's a joy for our people.
There's a slight worry that it felt like perhaps
I felt I was in some kind of spin-off of Stranger Things,
but I was trapped inside my own skull because it's just rooms of British cars.
And as Richard Usher, the chap who founded the Museum and owns it.
Who's a fascinating bloke?
He's a fascinating bloke for a number of reasons.
But he said that when he occasionally, so we were standing at the time,
looking at a Mark III escort, like a 1.3L, I think it was original shape,
not the 86 facelift.
So, and he doesn't see them around anymore.
And this is his point.
He said, sometimes people will turn their nose up and go,
why haven't you got a Cosworth in here?
Can I see them?
Yeah, because I could buy 10 Cosworths tomorrow.
Yeah.
When do you see an immaculate original Mark III escort in really lowly trim?
You just don't.
And it's so weird because if you're of a certain age,
that was just sort of like street furniture.
It was everywhere all the time.
And it's so strange when you don't see them.
But it does allow you to appreciate them.
It's a really neat design that car.
Well, I guess he's devoted an awful lot of passion and money and time to creating this
museum.
And you do just get fixated with certain things.
We started staring at that Astro Mark II celebrity, was it?
Yes.
It was, you know, the 80 special editions, the names and the bad stripes and things they added.
But so lazily done.
So lazy.
Well, it was sort of, I think you could divide it into two.
So this is like the aero shape Astro for people who may remember those.
Yeah.
That was a car.
Or cadet.
Long before the king of lazy limited editions, the Citroen Saxo, as we know,
was unassailable as every single Saxo was a special edition somehow.
Yeah.
And the Astro, the Mark II Astro and the Nova of the time, I think, were actually
the 80s champions of special editions that were.
But if you look at that Astro, you go, okay.
And brilliantly, one of the great things about Great British Car Journey is that they have hung
all around it.
Richard Usher said they wanted a kind of feeling of more like a motor show than just a dry dusty museum.
Yeah.
So they've had printed on huge banners, adverts from the time relevant to the cars in the different
sections of the museum that go through the eras.
And they're hung sort of above the relevant cars.
And so there's one for this Astro, but it's very specifically for the celebrity special
edition.
The celebrity special.
Inexplicably, this says only 112 of these.
I don't know who chose that number.
I think it's that's the number that the factory went.
Look, we've got that many stickers.
But like, except I have this feeling, if you look at it, there's certain things on that car
that are factory fit, like it has a proper factory tilt slide sunroof.
Yeah.
From an age when you'd still get cars with that cut a hole in the roof and drop it.
And just fold up the lever.
And that's it.
Yeah.
So this is proper factory stuff.
So that they've had to order 112 cars with the sunroof, please.
But the stickers look like dealers have just put them on.
They look awful.
Awful.
Really shit stickers.
Also, one of the things it boasts about is an electric clock.
I think an electronic clock.
Electronic clock.
And cigar lighter.
Yes.
Not cigarettes.
No, that would be tawdry.
Yeah, that's what's in class.
Cigars.
Yes.
Oolala.
Why a captain of industries could use this car.
And they use the sunroof as the smoke venturi as they go along.
There you go.
See, oh, and that was one of the other highlights of many in the collection is,
and it's brilliantly, it's parked in the room where we're doing our show tonight,
is an original Aston Martin Lagonda.
Oh shit, yeah.
But like a really original one with the cathode ray instruments.
Yes.
One of the coolest dashboards of all time.
Great steering wheel as well.
And I'd forgotten this detail about those Lagondas.
They have a sunroof, but it's over the rear seats.
Well, only over the rear seats.
It's sort of real.
It's quite narrow as a B pillar to sort of rear footwells.
It's not over, but maybe that's deliberate because that car was targeted at the US and the Middle East.
Yeah.
Both places where it can be quite sunny and hot.
So maybe that's deliberate.
You don't want to cook, but you do sometimes want to view the sky.
Yeah.
And I was just imagining some great sort of, you know, oil shake with a with a falcon on his arm.
Yeah.
Or all times in the back, but then wants to let the falcon out for a little whatever falcon do.
Well, it's like letting a dog out for a for a plot before bed.
You got to let the falcon out.
You're on a long journey across the UAE.
Make sure you don't let it out until he's actually got to tell his driver to slow down.
So he can let the falcon out for a plot.
Because you don't want bird shit all over you.
Nice dust and leather.
I it's no secret that I dislike flies, but I I as opposed to what?
Let me tell you something that's surprising about me.
I love flies.
Yes.
Often leave open jars of jam in a house just to attract more of them.
Well, I'm a I'm a big insect enthusiast, but I don't like flies.
I know they're important to the ecosystem.
Well, but flies, I mean, what do you mean like blue bottles?
Yeah, I like the color of green bottles shit genetic flies.
But because they land on vomit and shit and then land on your food, I'm not down with it.
But we won't.
We won't dwell on that.
What we will dwell on is I do momentarily feel sorry for flies when I crack a window
open in the car to let a fly out.
But I'm doing 70 and it's going to go from zero to 70.
His wings are going to fall.
I think I was told about wing walking.
Is that if you're doing wing walking, which obviously we all do.
If you put your arms out, never put them behind your torso because that's it.
Not coming back possibly literally.
They'll be wheeling their way into a field below.
But yeah, that's it.
Just never put your arms out.
If you put your arms forward enough, it's a risky business.
You couldn't be quite strong for wing walking.
Yes.
You imagine if you had a rubbish core and you did wing walking.
There's a sort of frame.
You know what I'm saying?
There is a backrest.
Yeah, it does.
It looks a little bit like the headrest in a barbershop.
Do you know one of the things that's always struck me about wing walking is what if you...
Just have a massive crash.
No, I heard a horrible story about that once.
Oh gosh.
It's not going to be a good story, is it?
Yeah, I'm not even going to tell it because it's quite upsetting.
It's haunted me ever since I was told it.
But no, the thing about wing walking that I've always saw is my dream is always to do wing walking.
But if the plane takes off and you immediately go,
I don't like this.
I don't like it.
You can't just stop.
No.
You're up there for what?
A good 10, 15 minutes, I'm sure, while they sort of do a circuit round and come back down again.
So it could be a horrific experience.
I was interviewing somebody the other day and they had a very dry mouth.
And you know when you can hear that someone's got a very dry mouth?
And yeah, you feel like you need to drink because you're drying out hearing them.
I'll just breathe moisture towards you.
Yes.
And so can you imagine the dryness of the mouth of a wing walker?
Well, why if you opened your mouth and you couldn't get it closed again?
Oh gosh.
That famous top gear moment with Clarkson doing the aerial after the mouth full of air.
How fast so?
But then he could just slam on the brakes if it was all getting too much.
You can't slam on the brakes.
You're not even driving.
You're just up there and I guess you can't.
Can you talk to the pilot?
I probably now there'd be a discreet earpiece.
Yeah, I should.
I can find out because back in the day, my friend Zoe has done wing walking because
her dad is a wing walking pilot.
There we go.
Speak to Zoe.
Zoe as in that's her dad who sold the 250 GTA for 12 pounds or whatever.
Well, so I've got to be careful because I saw my other friend Zoe last weekend and she listened
to the podcast and heard me mentioning the other Zoe and messaged me when I can't believe you've
got another friend called Zoe.
I was like, sorry, it's okay.
But there's other Zoe's.
I know, but I'm thinking, I don't know if I know any Zoe's.
I only know the two.
It's not, I mean.
The Renault Zoe and I have one of those and I was good friends with it.
Which David Tuhigg, chief engineer of the Zoe.
Yeah.
And SSG of the highest order and listeners of this.
Hi David.
Hi David and hi Zoe and hi Zoe.
Pointed out to me the other week that you should really write Renault Zoe with the Zoe all in
capitals, which is what Renault did as part of fending off lawsuits from women in France
called Zoe Renault who tried to sue Renault to stop them calling it that because they
claimed it was infringing on their name.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's basically this kind of, I think it was an ambulance chasing lawyer put together
sort of class action gathered together some women called Zoe Renault.
That's quite un-French.
I know.
Well, yeah, probably is, isn't it?
Yeah.
I was driving past a sex shop last night on the way down the A1.
Pulse and cocktails?
It's coming back from Leeds.
Yeah, I think it was pulse and cocktails.
Peas and seeds?
Yeah.
And the one that I went past because I know there's several branches as regular listeners
will know or regular drivers of the A1 will know.
And I realized that there's a village just behind the one I frequent as in frequently
drive past, not going.
And the village is called Burton Coggles.
Oh, yes.
To me, it sounds like Burton Coggles is another character.
It's a person.
Yes.
Who has had a series of books written about them.
But wait.
Like Tintin.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Has he got a monkey?
Of course he's got a monkey.
Of course he's got a monkey.
The adventures of Burton Coggles.
Yes.
Or the chronicles of Burton Coggles.
Yeah.
And his monkey Stefan.
Yes.
Wait.
Sex shop monkey.
Who's that guy who was in the last White Lotus?
Walton Coggins, is it?
Yes.
Walton Coggins.
I think it's Walton.
Or Goggins?
Goggins.
Both of them sound like made up names.
Totally made up names.
But then you look at him and he looks like he's called Walton Coggins or whatever.
It's like he looks like a made up man.
He does.
In an excellent way.
Hang on.
He looks like an animatronic version of himself.
Walton.
I'm looking this up.
Walton Coggins.
Goggins.
Coggins.
Yeah.
Wow.
Great name.
I mean, yes.
It's a great name.
But you have to live up to it in a way.
Yeah, you do.
He's got an incredible receding hairline.
Yeah, but he looks like he's had that forever and he will have it forever.
He's had it since he was 17.
He's just locked in.
He's just one of those people.
Like Christian Slater's a bit like that.
Yeah.
He just started high.
Yeah.
But he's not going any higher.
It's so true, isn't it?
It looks like he might maybe put his head out of a car window at speed many years ago
and that appeal back a little bit.
He's got, you know, speed hair.
Just or he, in fact, hang on.
I might be, this subconsciously might be something that actually happened.
I'm sure that Christian Slater, I read in an interview,
he's got slightly zany eyebrows.
Yes.
And he attributes it as the fact that he shaved his eyebrows when he was a kid.
And they grew back in a different way.
In a different place.
No, not in a different place, but in a kind of just slightly odd way.
And that's why he there.
He has got slightly surprised.
Yeah.
It's part of his look.
Yeah.
Isn't it?
I'm sure he attributes that to having shaved them as a kid.
So maybe he shaved back his hairline as well and then went, oh, well, that's me then.
But historically, my family has thick hair.
So that's not going anywhere now.
That's locked in.
That's deep foundations.
I wanted to talking of putting a head out of the window at speed and letting flies out as well at
speed.
You know, you were talking about roads to face.
Yes.
Some some episodes ago of the podcast.
I've noticed because I saw this this week because this week in the UK,
we've had some actual sun and dryness.
So people have been getting motorbikes and like roadsters out.
That's why it's so busy here in my lock bath.
It's the first nice week of the year.
Yeah.
Where there's not shit all over the road.
Yeah.
And so they've got on the two wheeler.
That's it.
It's dry enough for this moment.
Full of iron horses.
Freaking full of them.
Do you see JBJ down the road?
Oh, yeah.
There's a bright yellow Camaro just gone past.
Oh, yes.
I reckon John Bon Jovi would come to Matlock bath on his iron horse.
Do you think?
Yeah.
Would he ride the same kind of Harley as we saw earlier on with the
the most extraordinarily terrible graphics all over it?
It's like a 25 grand Harley and it had
free with a package of cornflakes, green skulls.
Was it green, fluorescent, green skulls all over?
I think if you asked my eight-year-old daughter to decorate a Harley Davidson,
she would do a more tasteful and mature job than whoever'd done over that Harley.
I just, it was, you're right.
It's a very expensive bike.
Very iron horse, if you will.
Yeah.
They have besmirched it with toss, but it's their own.
Of course.
So I'll take your roadster face and I will raise you pre-war jaw.
Which I saw yesterday.
Oh.
A couple of pre-war cars out on the road looking really...
What?
Just out?
Yeah.
Looking really majestic, I must say.
But one of them had no roof, roadster-ish.
And the old guy driving it, absolute pre-war jaw.
It was...
Oh.
Steely.
Yeah, sort of gritting.
Yeah, gritting, gritting.
The teeth were visible and the tongue wasn't out.
Okay, so...
But he would have got sediment in his face, mouth if...
How odd, but I suppose he's literally gritting his teeth.
Yeah, if he'd gone through a cloud of midges,
which happens on these sorts of...
Yes, it does.
On summer evenings.
You know when we were at Goodwood last year when it was insanely hot?
Yeah.
And I had the boxed roof down for four days straight.
Yeah.
I went through a cloud of midges and one of them went up inside one of my eyelids.
Oh.
It went in there so fast.
Horrible.
I might have inhaled one up my nose.
He bet he did.
Yeah, got a nose midge.
That's bad.
Anyway, that's...
Pre-war jaw.
Pre-war jaw.
Yeah.
It's a real sort of...
And I'm sort of doing this, so listeners might understand the sort of face I'm making.
But doing this, you look like you're a little bit more chiseled,
like a star of the silver screen back in the old days.
I mean, those cars, they vibrate a lot surely.
They do.
And the ride quality is going to be poor.
Yeah, there's a lot of lateral shudder.
Is that...
Is he protecting his teeth by doing that?
Because he's just keeping his jaw so tightly clenched, there's no movement.
Oh, but you want movement.
I think you want to be slacked, Jordan, with those cars to allow for a bit of give.
You should be krill-sifting, ideally.
I think it would make absolute sense.
Why can't I just let it go?
It should stop.
We're thinking so much.
Thinking so much.
I didn't know that didn't go well.
Why did I do it?
It should stop.
We're thinking so much.
Take a breath.
You're not alone.
Let's talk about what's going on.
Really start to think about pre-war cars.
Oh.
I feel like I'm on the cusp of getting into pre-war cars.
Well, now it's funny you say that because just this afternoon, when we were at the car journey,
we were shown a very interesting car about which I know almost nothing, which is the
horseman.
Oh, the horseman, yeah.
Which is made or was made in Bath Bath.
And I think a listener even might have messaged us about this.
Sorry if you didn't.
We forgot to mention it or reply.
I'm sure we had a message from someone saying,
are you aware that there were cars made in Bath?
And that the company that made them still exists as a manufacturer of defense
mechanisms,
items, weapons, maybe.
And they're still based in Bath or near Bath.
That's brilliant.
But in the 1920s, they made some cars.
And they have in Great British Car Journey what is believed to be the only surviving horseman.
And it's got a 1.5-litre Coventry Simplex engine.
That's it.
Yeah.
Recursor of Coventry Climax.
Yes.
And it did some incredible endurance event.
200 miles on average of 80 miles an hour in one tank as well.
So fast, quite efficient for its time, I think.
Yeah.
It came, God, on Mr. Romano, a fourth or fifth
against some proper factory works efforts in France from Peugeot, Renault,
big organizations with a lot of support.
And this little old company, as it was from Bath.
Less than I know.
Yeah.
Did the West Country proud?
But yeah, it's the only one surviving.
And I was talking to Richard Lusher about it.
And he was saying, you know, I'm not usually into sort of cars of this year.
And I said, no, nor am I.
And I was thinking, but when he told me this story of this sort of plucky outsider
and this company that, you know, they think they only made 20 cars in total
and that's the only one left.
So they only made 20 bloody out.
It's pretty amazing.
And this is what's so cool about pre-war cars.
Well, that's the thing.
So I had a similar sort of stirring to you, just going,
should I be more interested in this stuff?
I think the other thing about pre-war cars that interest me is,
besides the fact that I quite fancy getting pre-war drawn out again,
is the fact that they don't rot unless you leave them in a family orchard for five generations.
What, because everything is brass?
Or what?
There's not really, it isn't.
Woodworm, that might be a person.
Yeah, no, they do get woodworm with floorboards.
That horseman's a monococ.
Is it?
Get out.
I guess, yeah.
You horseman monococ.
It's like a sort of aircraft, really.
It's a tubular thing with running boards.
They don't rot so much, and if they do rot, you see it really quickly,
because the chassis is very visible.
Oh, yeah.
So it's not a structure in the way that cars from the sort of 40s onwards were made.
Well, they all sit really high as well, so you just slide underneath.
You don't need a jack.
No.
You just don't need a jack.
Just slide underneath.
It's the ultimate Malbec mechanic car.
I suppose it is, yeah.
You just slide under.
You could still be wearing a smoking jacket.
You just slither under the car.
Hate the chassis with, I don't know, one hand while listening to a radio drama.
And yes, listening to a radio drama.
It's proper radio drama territory, isn't it?
Yeah.
Okay, no, I'm coming around to this.
But then the thing is that, I don't know if I've got room in my brain for more cars
of a different era, because that's the thing I enjoyed about walking around the car journey,
was I think you said the same thing.
Once she got into the, it's like the start bit, in the Austin 7s,
I really sort of admire, and it's an interesting backstory, and the backstory of Morris and Austin.
Yeah.
And, you know, so their rivalry, and then their ultimate coming together.
It's all very interesting, and they made a lot of quite landmark cars.
Massive.
In the story of the British car industry.
Yeah.
But it's when you get to the 60s, 70s, 80s rooms, that it all suddenly just gets much
more interesting as far as I'm concerned, just because it's shit.
Well, 50s, 50s Europe, UK, especially, obviously, very quite badly war-torn and quite poor.
Yes.
So there was a lack of colour for one thing.
And then you go into the 60s, and of course it's very colourful.
Both the fashion and the music scene, and all the vibrant colours were great.
And I suppose I can resonate a bit more with that.
That said, some of the 50s cars there were surprisingly bright colours.
I think we just don't realise it, because most of our reference material from the time,
if you weren't there, is black and white.
So you just assume everything was black and white.
But, or at least very drab.
The 50s always, I think of as being drab, but I don't think that's probably very fair.
No, you can still think of men wearing formal suits to just do like non-formal things.
Yes.
Look who I do.
Well, the only thing is that, you know now, you just, I'm going to go and dredge that river
out there.
Why have you got a three piece suit on that?
Well, I'm just because.
What?
What else would I wear?
What would I be wearing, if not?
Yeah.
Not going to wear a ghastly t-shirt or a vest.
I don't even know what a t-shirt is, but I'm not going to wear a short sleeve shirt with no tie.
You know, get out.
Have to have standards.
That's the thing.
What did people in the 50s do when they got up on a Sunday morning?
Well, they got up and went to church, didn't they?
So that's a suit or a Saturday morning.
Okay.
You're in your 20s or 30s.
You've got not much going on on Saturday.
Doing a good way.
He's going, oh, you know, I've worked all week.
I've worked all week.
It worked all week.
Yeah.
I'm going to get up.
I'm going to pull on some tracky bottoms and a hoodie.
No.
And I might just wander down to town and get a coffee and then maybe go.
No, no.
You wouldn't wander into town to get a coffee.
It's not a thing.
But then also maybe, because I was going to say, the trouble is if you're putting on
a three piece suit and a hat and a tie and everything, you'd want to have showered first,
but actually people probably only had a bath once a week.
And that's Sunday.
Not Sunday.
That'll be Sunday.
So it's fine.
You just go, well, I've absolutely nothing planned today.
So I'm going to go down into town to the milk bar and meet some friends.
And then we might go and see a film.
But so I'm just going to pop on this suit and tie and a hat.
And some very shiny polished shoes.
But I've got to help mother at the allotment as well.
Oh, well, I'll still do so.
But I'll be wearing quite smart shoes and digging soil.
Yes.
But I might take my jacket off if no one's looking.
Yeah.
It leaves up because it's a hot day.
There'll be a bit of good honest B.O. emitting from me in the cinema.
But isn't it like, you know, the middle ages, absolutely stank, but everybody's stank.
So they sort of all got used to it.
Maybe the 50s were quite B.O. heavy.
Me too.
And I don't know.
Maybe that's it.
Maybe everything was masked by the intense smell of brill cream.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's why again, you could get away with having a bath once a week
because your hair looked incredibly greasy all the time anyway, by choice.
Yeah.
Teddy boy's is.
I didn't check any of the headlinings in the 50s cars that we saw,
but I bet they were all a slick slick.
Because a combination of low sophistication, suspension,
and heavy brill cream use, even if there was ample headroom,
your head is going to, you're going to hit the roof several times.
You'd have a tall hairdo probably as well, very tall hair.
That's why I didn't like what we're looking at, that voxel crasta.
Yeah.
I've never liked those and it's because they look like teddy boy cars.
Well, they, and they kind of were in the UK.
But they look like teddy boy cars like from when teddy boys were a thing,
unless you chose to keep dressing like a teddy boy because of.
Yeah.
Well, at the moment, they're gone a bit.
Well, yeah, because it's like 1989 or something.
You just go, I'm still dressing like a teddy boy because I think I have a voxel crasta.
I think one of those voxel crasters was the car that they were all sitting in,
singing in ghost town by the specials.
Oh, I want to say it was a voxel crasta.
Because it was an American looking, voxel, I'm sure.
For people who don't live in the UK, the voxel crasta of the Sierra owned by General Motors,
it was our attempt to, I guess, the roaring American fifties look.
I'm going to try and voice search this.
What was the car in the ghost town video by the specials?
It won't tell you.
This stuff's always crap.
No, it's always crap, isn't it?
Yeah.
Oh, no, wait, because look here, it's come up.
It was a 1961 or 62 voxel crasta PA.
Bang, there we go.
That is the one with the wraparound front of this house.
The car is now preserved at the Coventry Music Museum.
Is it?
Yeah, apparently.
The car still exists.
Well, this is what this says.
That's bloody brilliant.
Yeah.
Well.
There you go.
Well spotted.
I mean, I remember the video and I could say, yeah, there were cars.
Yeah, because there were three abreast at the front.
I couldn't.
Oh, shit.
Because of the column shift, I think.
Yes, see.
But then the specials were from Cobb.
That's a bit Cobb disloyal to have a bloody voxel of all things.
Tis, isn't it?
Yeah.
Of all the cars, because you've got plenty of them.
They would have gone Roots Group, wouldn't they?
Roots Group or?
Humber Super Snipe.
They could have gone for a big ol' Fat Humber.
But you could have had a Triumph.
You could have had a Jag.
A Tubby Humber.
Could have.
When was that song, 80?
80, 79, 80.
Was it?
Yeah.
OK, so you, what were they making it right at that point?
Probably Alpine's.
Yes.
Alpine.
Chrysler 180.
Oh, they were made in Spain.
Oh, yeah, they were.
Yeah, they ignore that.
But I mean, there's one thing.
They've gone, they've gone, it's like, traitors.
They're not loyalists, are they, to the mark?
I bet the Luton Scar scene was laughing its arse off.
Go, we got them, lads.
We got them.
That would be like.
They want to be us.
Trying to think what the American equivalent of that would be.
It'd be like a deep Detroit band.
What, driving around in a, well, where else do they make cars that?
Everywhere.
Where did they make cars in America that wasn't Detroit back then?
That's the thing, everyone was.
Oh, is it warm Detroit to hang on?
Can't have just been Detroit.
Well, no, because, oh wait, no, AMC, Wisconsin.
Right.
So still Midwest, but not Detroit, so.
Can you imagine a Detroit-based band?
Driving an AMC, Gremlin or something.
Concorde or whatever.
Concorde, yeah.
Yeah, a big, a big.
And they're a bit of Matador.
And they're like, what the hell's going on here?
You had a choice of three other companies you could have got cars from.
You absolute, yeah.
Arseholes.
You sorry?
I'm not calling the specials arseholes.
No, no.
You know, that's what I like to do.
Special arseholes.
That'd be amazing.
Smith & Sniff, the podcast, has been cancelled
because one of the people on it called the specials arseholes.
Who, how many of the specials are still alive then?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Jerry Dammers isn't.
Anyway.
Well, look, listen.
Guys.
One piece of news, incredibly late to the party on this.
So I'll raise my hand and say I'm approximately,
I'm nearly probably 50 years late to this.
But the BMX biking.
No, no.
Did you know that, you know, we've talked about a silica lady.
Yeah.
I actually think that the OG silica lady is Princess Leia off of the Star Wars.
Did not expect you to say that.
Well, no, so because in my head, in a way,
a solid contender for silica lady excellence would be Joanna Lumley,
except that I think she is more Triumph T-R6 kind of lady.
Yeah, she was.
Or Angela Rippon.
Angela Rippon.
But then Angela Rippon famously was in that thing on early Top Gear where she
had a Capri.
Did she?
I bet she was gray in a Capri.
Why Princess Leia?
Any point did she drive a car during the Star Wars?
No, I don't think there were cars in Star Wars.
It's a galaxy far, far away.
So Toyota didn't exist as far as we know in their world.
No, and I don't think Toyota were involved in any of the creation of the spacecraft or whatever.
But well, look, you know, there is a car in one of those films.
Covertly.
And it's a reliant.
That land speeder thing that they do.
Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Yeah.
Obi-Wan Kylastomy.
Obi-Wank Nobi.
Yes.
That is a reliant three-wheeler.
It's a three-wheeler chassis underneath.
Is it?
That's why it sort of wobbles.
It's supposed to float.
When they get out, you see it sort of pitch on suspension.
But that's because it's got angled mirrors so it reflects the ground so it looks like it's floating.
It's a really simple practical effect to get that looking like it floated when they got out.
That's freaking good.
Because they didn't have CGI, what like we do now.
But no, it's a reliant.
I'm sure it's a reliant.
It might even be a Bond bug.
I can't remember now.
Right, so something like that.
So the reason why I think Princess Leia is the original Celica lady,
she didn't actually drive the Celica spoiler alert.
Right.
But Toyota gave away a Celica GT as a grand prize in a Star Wars space fantasy sweepstake
that took place in, I think, 77.
And this Celica wasn't just a Celica.
It was heavily airbrushed with loads of Star Wars details on it.
I'll put this up on the picture in terms of you are there and you'll see a picture.
It had a moonroof.
It had a specialized specialized paint job, block chrome on the outside,
plus silver carpeting, silver piping on the seats on the inside.
And it was it was prepared by a company called Del Fiorto design of Costa Mesa of California.
OK.
And so there's pictures of the cast of Star Wars dicking around with this.
And it was dicking around and it's it's it and your favorite and your favorite.
God, C3PO has put the windows up and down so many times without turning on the engine
that he's flattened the battery.
Yeah.
So we're going to give him up.
Absolutely.
So kicking.
And that's interesting.
I didn't know that.
That's OK.
So so the story behind this car is that it wasn't one of one, one of one, genuinely one of one.
Yeah.
The car when it was finished was delivered to 20th Century Fox in order to be given away.
It was allegedly delivered to the anonymous contest winner in January 78.
And we say I'm reading this on a classic car website.
We say allegedly because that's the last time the car was seen for many, many, many years.
And the company that built it soon went out of business.
The owner of Delphi, this auto graphics company was convicted of smuggling hash oil
while one employee was kidnapped and another employee, a chap called Steve Boven, was murdered.
And some suggest as the conspiracy goes, the Selika got caught up in the mess
and was never actually delivered to a winner.
It happens.
I was told a story about a.
This is a clock.
This is an old clock out.
Oh, I was told a story about a media organization in the UK in the 80s or early 90s
had a Peugeot 205 GTi to give away, which they accidentally failed to give to a natural competition
winner.
What?
Where did it go?
Well, I think it was just left as a pool car.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so bad.
And then I don't know what happened to it because that's a bit.
That's rotten as well that nobody actually got.
I mean, it's one thing to I heard stories before.
I wonder if from friend over the show, Greg James has any of these tales,
but I heard stories like radio stations and stuff where, you know, they've got like,
back in the day, they go, well, right, we've got the whole top 10 charts CDs to give away.
But it's the late night show and nobody phones in or messages in.
So you just go, I'll give that to a nephew.
Yeah, just take some home and give some or a Sony MIDI system.
Yes.
Yeah.
Get a MIDI disk player.
Okay.
So all you got to do is message and tell us who invented the rotary washing line or some
shit like that.
And then nobody really just have to go.
Okay.
The winner of that is Dave door and of Melford.
And so that's swinging its way to you right now.
Dave and the DJs going, fucking brilliant.
I've got another mini-disk player.
A brilliant to give to my nephew for Christmas.
So it does happen.
I well, the stories about definitely I was told on good authority that there was a British
organization.
Well, I know that you forgot to give a 205 GTI away.
Well, yeah, I mean, that was the one FM.
They did a radio one FM edition.
Yes, yes.
And there's there's a very few surviving examples.
Are there any left?
Do you know?
There are and they're worth a lot of money.
Well, I'm not surprised.
Because Greg James actually wants to buy one.
Does it?
Spoiler alert.
Yeah.
But he it's hard to find one.
I bet it is.
We found a couple of owners, but they don't want to sell them.
No, Jesus.
Because I put that one on my boring car trivia books.
I found a thing about it.
It might have even been the original sort of like brochure or flyer for it.
Yeah.
And it had loads of extra bits and pieces on it.
Yeah.
Like I think it had sort of all the options you could put onto a 205 GTI.
Yeah.
Like the slidey sunroof and things.
Yeah.
But then it had some bespoke one FM bits and pieces as well.
It did.
I think it upgraded audio might have had a clarion amp or something.
Yes.
So yeah, it's a cool thing of its time.
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This is an act by better help.
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Why can't I just let it go?
Oh, I was thinking so much.
Oh, I didn't know.
Oh, my God.
So stop.
Take a breath.
You're not alone.
Let's talk about what's going on.
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and let life feel better.
I've just realised that while Richard's looking on the laptop,
just realised because we're in Matlock Bath or Bath, depending on where you come from.
An abundance of fish and chip shops and arcades.
But there's a children's theme park for young children called Gulliver's Kingdom.
It's just up there on the hill.
I can see it from here, I think.
And it made me realise that when we talked about Gulliver's Alphard for a long time.
No.
Well, any fresh info on that?
I think Gulliver's a bit bored of his Alphard.
Gulliver's Velfire sounds better, which might be the second iteration.
What other quite well-appointed Japanese grey imported MPVs could Gulliver go for?
They'd have to be big because Gulliver's...
Well, look, Gulliver isn't big.
No, I keep forgetting.
Gulliver's not big.
The Lilliputians are small.
Gulliver is, in fact, just a man, conventionally sized man.
Yes.
So he's free to choose, almost any.
He could have a smaller car.
He could, you know, Gulliver's Serena.
Yeah, what about the...
Why does he need an MPV?
I just think he's just an absolutely practical man.
Is it because he could take all of the Lilliputs on a day out?
Yeah, he would.
They could probably all fit in a micro.
Look, it's just not as good a story, Rich.
So what about one of those KMPVs?
Oh, yeah, like Herman.
What's the Daiatsu one that we always play around with?
Is that Daiatsu one?
I don't know.
The Suzuki Hustler is kind of an MPV.
It's not the super sort of upright.
Yeah, there's lots.
I found my thing if it's not self-indulgent to read out my own.
I'll let you do that.
I will let you.
In 1992, Peugeot made a limited edition 205 GTI
to celebrate 25 years of Radio 1.
The 205-1 FM was based on the 1.9 GTI
and featured black paint, gray alloys with silver edges,
black leather seats with green stitching,
a bespoke Clarion stereo system
featuring a boot-mounted 6 CD changer,
and a numbered brass plaque on the inside edge of the driver's door.
Each car also had ABS power steering,
remote central locking, a sunroof and air conditioning,
as well as 1 FM exterior badges and 1 FM floor mats.
It cost £17,000, over £4,000 more than a standard GTI 1.9,
and just 25 were made.
So it's a rare thing.
That is a rare thing.
That is a rare and a cool thing.
And I want Greg James to own one
because he is a very passionate DJ for BBC Radio.
So it would make perfect sense.
But anyway.
Yeah, I want him to buy one also.
So I can borrow it, frankly.
Oh, look, there was one.
Don't tell me one sold like yesterday.
Not quite sold in April last year at auction.
It was, now that's so cheap.
Given that 205 prices are generally on the up.
And this is only last year.
Estimated at £7,500 to £9,500.
It's sold for £9,700.
So it went just to be an estimate, but only just.
Let me neck.
Number eight of 25 special edition cars.
That's my favorite number.
This is the actual car featured on the used car roadshow
and the actual car that Corgi models used for its model of the car.
And an example of that is included
has its original brass door plaque.
That's cool.
That's really cool.
Oh, OK.
So it was re-shelled in approximately 1995.
Right.
So it had a massive crash is what you say.
I think so.
Right.
Yeah.
That's why the price was a little lower.
But dry stored since 2011.
Have we ever talked about the fact that
when people say dry stored,
it always reminds me of dry slap, which.
What's a dry slap?
Dry slap.
Oh, yeah.
The cockney's always going.
Oh, yeah.
Give me a dry slap.
And I've never understood what dry slap means
as opposed to what a wet slap.
Like what?
Why is your hand wet when you're slapping people?
Because I think dry hurts more.
I know.
But wet hurts.
Well, if anything wet would hurt more.
Like if it's flicking someone with a towel,
wet towel hurts more than a dry towel.
That's true.
Yeah, that's true.
I would rather be slapped by someone with dry hands
than someone with wet hands.
Ah, you slap me.
It's fine.
Why is your hand wet?
Well, it's on your hand.
You know, it's ribena.
It's suspiciously wet.
Yeah.
Sometimes people want to come and shake your hand
and you've just come out of the toilet.
And it's always when the heat at the hand dryer
doesn't quite work.
Yes.
You have to quickly go, hey, they're clean.
I just haven't dried them properly.
I had that just today.
Because when I arrived at the Great British Car Journey,
I was already late to meet you.
And so I was in a bit of a rush.
But as I came in, I was passing the loo
and I read a weasel.
I'll just do it now.
Came out and bumped into Richard Usher,
the proprietor who I've never met before.
We've only ever spoken by email on the phone.
So of course, the first thing he does is stick his hand out.
They shake it.
And I had to do that thing.
I'm going, I've just been to the bathroom and washed my hands.
I promise they're clean.
And they're clean.
But yeah, I don't want to be wet slapped by somebody.
You wet slapped.
But then also by extension, I go, if someone went,
this car has been the same ownership for 23 years
and has been wet stored for the last 15 years.
What?
Where?
In a lake?
In a lake?
Wet stored.
Well, because by extension,
are you familiar with people talking about dry hire and wet hire?
No.
Like?
What's it for?
Dry hire.
Like if you dry hire a generator, you just get the generator.
Oh, okay.
So dry hire is, no one comes with it to look after it.
Yeah.
I'm dry hiring an excavator.
So you've got to work it yourself.
But then conversely, wet hire means there's a person comes with it.
It's only just soaking.
Yeah.
You've made me realise about it's when pubs and hotels refer to wet sales.
Yes.
And it always made me feel uneasy.
I've seen it.
Wet sales.
I've seen sentences like things that will say, for example,
you know, the launch of this new product hopes to boost new life into the wet trade.
You're like,
No, no.
Because wet work is, isn't that like a sort of old mob kind of thing for someone who's going.
Thank you.
Well, no.
So you said retro transit just went past.
Bloody hell.
In Castrol livery.
Wow.
Wow.
1980 fucking transit.
Oh, lovely.
And then a sort of overland spec free London.
Ooh, that.
There's some quite cool things going by here.
Maybe this is our audience.
That's our gigs that way.
They could be going that way.
Checking these turning up in the fucking transit.
That'd be great.
That'd be bloody brilliant, wouldn't it?
To win the car park, as people might say.
Yeah.
Wet work, I think is assassination work.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
As in, you know, you sort of lure someone into a hotel room like this and then put some
plastic sheets down and whack them and dispose of things and wet work.
No, I don't want wet work.
No, I don't want a wet stored car either.
The wet trade is fine.
I'm quite happy to go for a drink at a pub, but yeah, I don't want.
It's funny, isn't it?
Is there anything other than wet?
Sorry, other than anything other than dry storage?
There was a preferable type of storage.
Moist storage.
Soaking storage.
Absolutely sodden.
This car is in poor condition, as it was wet stored in the sea.
As it would take.
That's just, just some, like Neptune.
Neptune used to own this Rover ST1 and he went,
I'll put that way, no one will find it under the sea.
It's just absolutely random.
Idiots.
You keep making the same mistake.
When will you learn?
Oh, my gosh.
Old Poseidon over there is getting rid of his Mazda Bongo friend.
Oh, well, he walks left of it.
Yeah, just go.
Oh, he's got a surface he turned to dust.
I don't know why Poseidon is Cornish.
That's not, I'm thinking.
Well, Pirate.
The Pirates.
He will have hung out with the Pirates.
Pirates, given their proclivities for burying shit on beaches,
would probably go, ah, this tidy MX-5.
First generation.
I bury it on a beach.
You know, he's safe there.
No, no, don't do that.
No.
That's not the kind of dry storage.
You need to be, you need to be hosing that fucker with Landlin, don't you?
Well, that's not, I don't think that's how Pirates roll.
No.
Because, I mean, if you think about it,
if you've been at sea for months and months,
then you go and you're just on the land and it's dry,
you're going to get such chapped skin.
Massively chapped skin.
Pirates sort of almost need to be kept wet at all times.
Well, maybe they wax all themselves as well as their vehicles,
because they leave,
do you leave a vehicle on the key side for potentially months?
You'd never leave your handbrake up.
No.
It's in season.
And you'd, you'd have to like duck oil everything,
apart from brake surfaces.
I was going to say not on the discs, but yeah.
Well, maybe you would though, because by the time you get back,
it would have started to come off and you're not,
it's not your first rodeo.
I've been pirating for years.
I know the score.
I was just, I was imagining that all Pirates have to be like,
do you remember like how they kept the Mary Rose?
Maybe they still do.
You know, when they pulled the Mary Rosa off the South.
Yeah, didn't have to keep it wet.
Yeah.
She's constantly hosed.
Misted, misted.
Well, that's wet stored.
That's wet, that's wet storage.
The Mary Rose was wet stored.
So if you rode.
If a triumph stag was wet stored, that would be catastrophic for it.
Do not lightly mist a triumph stag constantly for years.
I've, I've absolutely loved my Alfa Remain.
I'm so sorry.
And I've been, I've kept it in a Victorian green room or a glass house.
And every night we have the sprinkler system.
It's just mist.
It mists all of the foreign plants and also the alpha.
If I'm at a loose end of the J and the sprinklers aren't on,
I'll just get in there with a little squirty bottle
and I'll just lightly mist the alpha just to keep her,
just to keep her nice and wet.
Amazing.
I got to sit on a Honda Goldwing yesterday.
Did you?
Yeah.
Did it have a wank handle?
No, no, this was the thing.
So were you tempted to ride it into something?
Quite good.
I'll have the engine out of that now.
The chap who, whose car cave collection we were filming,
his nephew had arranged it.
What?
Who listens to Smith and Sniff.
Oh, really?
He arranged for us to film there.
And he had a delivery mileage, 1985 special edition Goldwing.
And shit off.
It had so much engraving, running lights and gold on it.
It was unbelievable.
I've got pictures to show you.
It's like a Carnival.
It weighed 1,100 kilos.
I don't know how much it weighed, but it felt heavy.
It looked heavy.
Still a flat six in those.
Yeah, 1,200.
Shit.
So the first thing, the smallest of the, that was a something,
I was a DSG Golf.
Did they start it?
No, they didn't.
It done 236 miles from New.
Shitting hair.
Shitting hair.
So I threw a leg over it.
Yeah.
And I think 1,200.
The stand collapsed.
And you were something like that.
They got quivering legs.
And suddenly I created the world's first delivery mileage
wank handle on the Goldwing.
No, I didn't.
I didn't know it was mint.
But I did get some pictures on it
because it was so amazing.
Were you wearing a tassel shirt?
Like Rich, I can't even describe it.
You weren't, but your shirt suddenly developed tassels
as soon as you sat on it.
Apparently it was an X show demonstrator bike.
So it had every option that anyone would ever think
of putting on a big bike like on.
Stereo.
Stereo, input for CB radio.
It had corded mics and receivers for both rider
and passenger that were gold.
Oh, I think they were gold and all brown.
Is this a UK by US?
Where is it from?
Must have been US.
There's no way you'd find it.
Were they even sold in the UK?
Yeah, they were.
Yeah, but you would never order it with the quantity of eagles
and embroidered eagles.
Engraving.
There is an obscene amount of eagle work on this motorcycle.
It's so eagled.
But all I kept thinking about was finding,
I'm still on this quest to find a gold wing that's
mechanically immaculate and it just has handlebars
which look like a swatted crane fly.
I really, really want a flat six.
But our contact, again, I won't name them
because they don't want to get me in trouble,
but our contact at Copa regularly reminds us
that he's not forgotten this mission.
Guys, listen, guys, let's find a handlebar wank,
a gold wing, preferably with a,
I'd like an 1800 if I can.
Is that what they are now?
I think that's what they are now.
I think they're up to 1800.
It might be two later, but it was 1200, then a 1500,
then I think an 1800.
A 1200cc flat six.
Absolute gem of a thing.
Yeah.
And just so honestly, that guy in NZ
that's put one cleverly in a helmet in,
but I can't stop dreaming about it.
It's an absolute dream for me.
Well, I know.
And talk about the great British car journey.
I was sniffing around at Hillman, but minutes ago.
Yes, the route section was good.
Yeah, strong.
And I'd forgotten until Richard told us
on our whistle stop tour of the collection
that the Roots Brothers were car dealers
who basically got into making cars
by buying floundering car companies.
Yeah, and Rick Hindley et out
because they just wanted more stock.
They just needed more cars in that era.
It's like, Britain's got to make more cars.
We'll, you're making a mess of it.
We'll take over and they assembled together
the Roots Group.
I think they've sold more than anybody else.
They think they're the biggest exporter of cars ever at that time.
Their story doesn't get told so much compared to,
you know, sort of BL and the Fauze.
I mean, Fauze just did everything right, didn't they?
It's like Richard was saying.
British Leyland at one point, sort of 45 models,
terrible overlap, but also a terrible lack of...
Of part sharing.
Of part sharing.
Yeah.
And a lot of sort of infighting because,
oh, we can't use that engine.
That's a Triumph engine.
No, they're rubbish.
Yeah, we're Austin.
You know, there's a lot of snobbery, internal snobbery.
And...
And it killed it.
Howards just went,
just very quietly,
just going to assemble a very logical range hierarchy.
Yeah.
And within that, very logical trim levels.
Yeah.
So that you can make your neighbors jealous.
Or you can feel inferior
and want to get a better one next time.
And we would gladly take your money.
And everything has been costed to the widget.
And everything we make is lovely, delicious profit.
Talking of profit, have you seen small profits on the...
No.
The drama series on the BBC?
It's so good.
Mackenzie Crook.
Yeah.
Mackenzie Crook, so good.
It's a beautiful series.
And the guy drives a Capri,
you probably know that,
the lead that the main character drives is Capri.
That's a V6.
And it's...
It was pointed out,
I saw people on social media saying that,
if you see fleetingly the badge on the back...
Yeah.
Is a bespoke badge to reflect the fact
that that actual Capri has, I think, a 24 valve.
2.9.
2.9.
So it's got 2.9 in the correct...
In the font.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's amazing.
But it says 2.9 if you look closely.
And it's because it's got a Granada or Scorpio.
Yeah.
A 24 valve cosmos in it.
Yeah.
And I'm following the series
and in the episode that I've just watched,
it...
He goes to start it one morning
and it sort of splutters
and then fires loads of oil out
onto the floor of his cul-de-sac.
Right.
And there's this oil slick that is neighbour
who's like a clean freak
who drives an Audi with 4D number plates
and he just wants to, like,
kill all of the weeds and all the flowers.
It's very carefully written
so that you've got the main character
who loves plants and wildlife
and just lets his garden kind of get taken over by
the birds and the bees
and then next door who just want, like, fake grass.
And you know what I mean?
And they just, like, weed-killer everything
and they just want concrete.
Yeah.
And there's that mix of people's outlook on life.
But yeah, the Capri shits itself
in terms of oil
and the oil slick is in the shape of a black rabbit
on the cul-de-sac.
Cool, I haven't finished watching it
but I would recommend it.
It's really good.
So the character that Mackenzie Crook plays
looks incredibly no-name full suspension
around to the guy, of course.
Well, yes, yeah, yeah.
But in the character, the character he plays,
he's like a manager of a DIY store,
a super store, with a scrawny little ponytail.
He, you don't see what car he drives
or I haven't seen it yet.
But he looks like a Manta guy.
Oh.
Whereas, you know, main character is a Capri guy that we know
and he has a jacket that is...
Capri jacket.
It does lend itself to be a Capri jacket.
So I'm hoping that by the end of the series
we will discover that Mackenzie Crook is
we at the helm of a Manta.
And that's maybe why they don't get on these two people.
Yeah.
That's the whole reason he had that show.
Yeah.
He made it was just so he could actually
yeah, bring Capri Manta rivalry back.
It's Bloods and Crypts.
Consciousness, exactly.
It really is.
It's the...
Because it's eternal, isn't it?
It's Romeo and Juliet.
Oh.
It's Bloods and Crypts.
It's just such a...
It's such a...
Montague's in Capulence.
Yes, that's what I meant to say.
Forgot their surnames.
Or in Australia, it's Folds versus...
Folds versus Holds.
Hold them, isn't it?
That is Montague's in Capulence.
Really?
Yeah.
As was.
Yeah.
It's not a main.
I can't hear Montague's in Capulence
immediately pairing it with banging tunes
and DJ sets from Arctic Monkeys.
Better you look at the dance floor.
Such a good song.
Such a good song.
Well, we should bring this to a close
because we have to go and...
Oh, yeah, we've got to do some stuff.
Game face.
And so...
Pre-war jaw.
By the time you hear this, some of you
will have been to our show tonight at Mission Motorsport.
That's, sorry, a great British car journey
in aid of Mission Motorsport.
We hope it went well.
We do.
And you're not really cross or disappointed
with future selves of us.
But if you are, it was for charity.
So, you know, sorry about that.
And we...
I had something else to say.
I can't remember what it was.
Oh, well, just thought I was going to say.
But we had a sort of whistle stop
around the Great British Car Journey.
But we are going to go back at some point,
hopefully, and drive some of their cars,
which is the other thing they offer,
drive Dad's car.
We might film that.
Who knows?
No promises.
I took a...
When I was leaving and I was pulling around in my car
and just waiting for you to come out of the building,
I deliberately took a security route
around the car park to go and look in that shed
over the far side where they've got
some of the cars you can drive.
Yeah.
All sorts in there.
I saw a triumph of a claim.
And then, around the back,
parked up in some spaces around there,
incredibly tidy second generation Rover 200.
In white.
And you feel what a crisp looking car that was,
white with the dark, lower portion.
Yeah.
That was a sensationally neat car at the time.
Yeah.
It looked a lot nicer than an Escort or a Gulf or something.
It really did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they've got some absolute treasures.
So we're going to go back at some point and drive them
and hopefully have another look around the museum
because I could have stuck my head into a lot more
windows if we had all day to do it.
It's a fabulous place.
And thanks to everybody that's come to that live show
and all the others.
You know, it's very kind of you.
And for buying up merchandise and too.
Oh yeah, that as well.
So yeah, yeah.
There's more Goths out, sonny.
What?
There's two more Goths.
Where?
Look, just trying to.
Oh, yes.
Wow.
Two Goths crossing the road.
Look, I thought all the Goths went to Whitby.
Well, but maybe it's not ready for it yet.
But the Lady Goth, she's sort of smiling.
I didn't think that was a thing for Goths.
Poor quality Goth there.
Maybe she's novice.
Open the window and go, stop Goth.
Be more Goth.
Goth love this.
I made it.
Gosh, if this is a Goth town, I didn't realise it.
That's great.
Isn't it?
It's such a good place for people watching.
We should go and find a Goth bar.
Because I maintain that Goths are always really nice.
Like they always, they look, they try and look frightening.
And they're always really nice people.
So it's so true, isn't it?
Well, we should go and do that then.
But thank you ever so much for listening to this episode
back on Friday with Otto Sot.
Yeah.
And a regular episode the following Monday.
Until then, goodbye.
Bye guys.
And extra notes on that side of things.
Goth, they saved every one of us.
Yeah.
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About this episode
The hosts share their experience at Matlock Bath, a unique landlocked seaside town buzzing with bikers and goths. They explore the Great British Car Journey museum, highlighting rare British cars like the Mark III Escort and an original Aston Martin Lagonda with its iconic cathode ray dashboard. The conversation weaves through quirky observations about special edition cars, nature like the ancient monkey puzzle tree, and amusing anecdotes about insects and wing walking. The episode blends car culture with offbeat humor and local charm, creating a relaxed and engaging atmosphere.
1.5-litre engine
24 valve
B pillar
cathode ray instruments
CB radio
Cosworth
Coventry Climax
Coventry Simplex engine
factory tilt slide sunroof
flat six
AMC Matador
Aston Martin Lagonda
Chevrolet Astro
Chevrolet Camaro
Chevrolet Nova
Citroen Saxo
Ford Capri
Ford Escort
Ford Falcon
Ford Granada
Mazda MX-5 / Miata
Nissan Serena
Opel Manta
Peugeot 205 CTI
Peugeot 205 GTI
Renault ZOE
Suzuki Hustler
Toyota Alphard
Toyota Celica
Triumph TR6
Vauxhall Cresta
Volkswagen Golf
Zenvo ST1
Original notes
Jonny and Richard are in Matlock Bath in Derbyshire enjoying its two most abundant things. Also in this episode, monkey puzzle trees, pangolin dust, Great British Car Journey, letting a falcon out for a plop, various Zoes, Burton Coggles and Walton Goggins, pre-war jaw, a Star Wars Celica, dry slaps and wet storage, sitting on a Gold Wing, and coupe wars in Small Prophets.
For early, ad-free episodes and extra content go to patreon.com/smithandsniff
To buy merch and tickets to live podcast recordings go to smithandsniff.com
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Smith and Sniff
Jonny Smith and Richard Porter
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60:48