The Porsche Boxster is a two-seat sports car that is fun to drive and has a convertible top. It's known for being a good balance of performance and comfort.
The Honda Prelude is a two-door car that looks sporty and is fun to drive. It was made for many years and is popular among people who like cars that are stylish and perform well.
Car
Talbot Matra Rancho
The Talbot Matra Rancho is a type of car that was made in the late 1970s and early 1980s. It looks different from regular cars and was built to be used on both roads and rough terrains, similar to today's SUVs.
The Matra Rancho is a type of car that was made in France. It looks a bit like a mix between a station wagon and an SUV, and it was popular in the late 1970s and early 1980s.
The Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio is a fast and sporty version of the Giulia car. It has a powerful engine and is made for people who love to drive quickly and enjoyably.
VTEC is a system used in Honda engines that helps the car use fuel more efficiently and gives it more power when you need it. It's like having two different engines in one.
Car
Fiat Coupe 20 Valve Turbo
The Fiat Coupe 20 Valve Turbo is a stylish car made by Fiat in the 1990s. It has a turbo engine that makes it fun to drive.
Formula One is a type of car racing that features very fast cars and takes place on special tracks. It's one of the most popular and exciting forms of racing in the world.
MOT is a yearly check-up for cars in the UK to make sure they are safe to drive. If a car doesn't pass, it means it has problems that need fixing before it can be on the road again.
Car
Saab
Saab is a car brand from Sweden that is known for making unique and well-engineered vehicles. They often have turbocharged engines, which means they have extra power and performance.
The Ford Focus Mark I is the first version of the Focus car, made between 1998 and 2004. It's known for being fun to drive and is a common choice for many drivers.
The Skoda Yeti is a small SUV that is good for city driving and can handle rougher roads. The 2014 version is known for being practical and having a lot of space inside.
The lower rear wishbone is a part of the car's suspension system that helps keep the wheels in the right position. If it gets damaged or rusted, it can affect how the car drives.
The Volkswagen Golf is a small car that's easy to drive and very popular. It's known for being reliable and comfortable, making it a great choice for everyday use.
Jaguar Land Rover is a company that makes luxury cars and SUVs. Jaguar is known for sports cars, while Land Rover is famous for rugged off-road vehicles.
Chery is a car company from China that makes different types of vehicles. They often work with other companies to build cars together.
Car
Land Range Rovers
The Range Rover is a fancy SUV that can drive on rough roads and still feel comfortable inside. It's known for being very luxurious and is often seen as a status symbol.
An EV, or electric vehicle, is a car that runs on electricity instead of gas. They are better for the environment because they don't produce exhaust fumes.
The Tesla Model Y is a modern electric SUV that runs on batteries instead of gas. It's known for being very efficient and has lots of high-tech features.
The Tesla Model S is a high-end electric car that started being sold in 2012. It's popular for its long driving range and fast acceleration, and it's one of the first electric cars that many people have heard of.
The Tesla Model 3 is a small electric car that doesn't use gas. It's popular because it's more affordable than other Teslas and has a lot of cool technology.
A Stanley knife is a tool with a sharp blade that you can pull in and out. It's used for cutting things, like when someone wants to change the inside of their car.
The DeLorean DMC-12 is a unique car known for its shiny metal body and doors that open upwards. It's famous for appearing in movies and is considered a classic.
Formula One champions, talking of which, the video that goes out this weekend is a car
cave with a fiat coupe in it. Okay. And I didn't know that Jensen Button had one. Did you know
that? I did not know that. No, there's a photo of him leaning on it when he was racing off of a
Formula One team. And yeah, he had a yellow fiat 20 valve turbo coupe. Maybe he's still got it.
Button likes cars, doesn't he say? He does. He's one of the people on our list, actually. We were
just talking about that. Is he on the guest wave list? He's on our guest wave list because
aside from being an SSG, because we have met him, haven't we? Aside from being an SSG,
I think he's just, he's got some good car experience, road car experience, I mean,
in road car knowledge. And I think he's quite down to earth for someone that's lived in that
stratospheric Formula One kingdom. So yeah. And it was also from Somerset. So that's where I pull
my Somerset card out and go, look, listen, guys, he's one of mine. Let him in.
Yeah. He's with me. Something I keep meaning to be a we keep
meaning to bring up and then forgetting is that we wanted to do a shout out to anyone out there who
is a professional semi professional designer who might want to work with us on designing
a new range of Smith & Sniff merchandise to go alongside the existing stuff.
Yes. Obviously, there is cash money involved in this. We're not asking for freebies,
but we are just looking for people who have got some new inspiration and can do a better
design job than we can, because we've got loads of ideas and we really want to actually make them
live and work and become things that will be feasible to put on t-shirts and mugs and
stickers and all the rest of the stuff that we do. So if you are a designer and you'd like to
help us to make some new merchandise designs, get in touch. Hello at Smith & Sniff.com.
You're supposed to ask people for a portfolio or something. No.
If you feel so inclined, we'd love to hear from you.
I'd rather let your ideas be your portfolio. If you listen to the podcast and you know the
kind of isms we come up with and you can envisage a design working as a really good sticker or a
isms like, I don't know, no-name full suspension mountain bike guy or on that side of things,
or sleeve valve, whatever. Or it could just be a reworking of our nameshield on something,
in something. I feel like I'm that guy going into a tattoo shop who says,
I just want something, but I mean, I like the word Smith, I like the word sniff.
If I'm a man, I'm not that weird, but I want something a little bit different.
What can you do for me, mate? However you see fit, get in touch if you fancy helping out.
When you say how do you see fit, what about if they turned up near your house in a homemade
helicopter and then lowered an easel down on a long piece of steel cable?
I would be up for that. I thought you were going to say something like they turned up at my house
and they've just scrawled I a designer on a bloodstained tank chief which they pushed through
my letterbox. It's certainly attention grabbing, but I'm not sure that we would be comfortable
working with you. I must stipulate that we are putting this shout out because A,
your support with our merch so far has been really, really good and we're always looking
to try and come up with new collections as designers would say, but also because we
don't want to use AI. AI's tentacles are continuing to creep into a lot of these
sorts of industries and I am very wary of it and I don't particularly like it. Maybe that takes us
into the AI we've recently seen, the one that you talked about the other week, that very weird car
advert. Yeah, which was censorous by a listener. Where the car shifted from. I'm still laughing
where it suddenly went from being a manual car to an auto.
It's so funny, but the worst thing is also it's like they're not selling something
really rare and exotic that they want to look sort of unnaturally well lit and shiny and they
can't be asked to do it themselves. Mark Ellis was the listener who sent us this. Thank you, Mark.
It's a high-end AI tent and you look at the pictures and there's something unnatural about
them from the off. It is recognizably a blue AI tent, but the number plate is the first thing.
The typeface on the number plate is wrong for a British number plate and the perspective is just
a little bit off as well. The perspective is a bit off. I don't think this is quite right
and then the interior shots are just rubbish because yet the car suddenly in one picture
magically becomes an automatic and then goes back to being a manual again. You just go,
the reason though that Mark sent this to us is because we've got a new car seller's
slightly aggressive phrase to add to the find another collection. Oh, this seller
says it's as usual as a reluctant sale, only selling as I need a van for work. Brackets
adulting unfortunately is I don't need to know that too much information.
This car is in really great condition for its age, drives spot on, starts first time, no warning
lights, no dramas. Of course, it's not brand new so it has the usual age-related marks. Well,
we can't see those because you've used an AI photo, you dickwit. You lazy, lazy swine.
Lazy. Listeners, if you find car classifiers which are either just terribly written or written by
Paulingly or not photographed at all and just dreamt up by chat GPT because you're too lazy to
go outside with your amazing 4k phone in your dusty pocket and take a couple of photos, which
if you can't be bothered to write two sentences about your own car and take one to four photos of
your own car in order to earn money from it, you deserve to get a terrible price for it or people
like me to come around your house and go, I'll give you 75 quid or I'm going to pull your trousers
down. This is what I was going to say, so instead of find another, this seller, now bear in mind this
hinders up for 1175 quid. Okay, seems cheap. This seller has said no scammers, no 200 quid cash tonight
mate nonsense, which I've never heard before, 200 quid cash tonight mate nonsense is an interesting
take on things. Hang on, he's calling people out for not wanting scammers and he's not even
photographed his own car. He's used bloody AI to represent his car, that's scammery.
Well, it is isn't it because yeah, I feel like we're going, sorry mate, just to be clear, is it
a manual or an auto because it seems to be both your lazy twat. Please, can you do that? I would
love you to do that. Please. Still for sale. Of course it will be because there's no photos,
you can't really tell if it's good or bad. But the worry is, are there people who wouldn't notice
this because they're just not particularly interested in cars, they just need a bloody car and this
one's close and they like blue and they're just fine, I'll buy it and they haven't noticed. When
they turn up and apparently it has got age-related marks, but you won't notice that until you see
it in person. What age-related marks by what falling asleep on your own driveway and then
accidentally just dropping the clutch and then smearing it up a flint wall and then you go,
yeah, it's all age-related marks, mate. See, I think if you're that lazy at a buyer and that
lazy seller, you both deserve to be done over by one another. That's my parting gift.
If you can't be asked to do your research on how to buy a car or even ask somebody who you know,
who knows about cars to help you buy a car and you can't be bothered to photograph your own car
and write two sentences about your own car and be honest about your own car, then you both deserve
to have your heads flushed down a lavatory at school's bag. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Not harsh,
realistic. It seems to me that this car is no longer listed for sale. Somebody's bought it.
Somebody's bought it. Perhaps an AI robot's bought it and they'll be
talking of cars this week. And when we say talking of cars, I mean loosely, loosely, don't panic.
I had an unprecedented amount of MOTs this week. Oh, yes. I thought I'd set a PB.
Okay. I booked three MOTs in one day yesterday.
Yes. It's extremely stressful. And one of them was for the Smith and Sniffsab.
Yes. One of them was for the Smith and Sniffsab. You're absolutely right, Richard.
Which can I just say, you drive so well. But you haven't told me. Did it pass?
No. Oh, shit. Really? Is it bad? No, it's not too bad. Although it's deemed dangerous,
but it's not really dangerous, depends who you ask.
I'm assuring you it's not dangerous. So, okay, let me paint the picture. I pull up at the MOT station.
My colleague Lisa has driven in my bargain Boxster because its MOT just expired too.
Porsche goes in. As I get out the Saab, I also go into the MOT station to see.
Heart, my friend Nick. Good old Nick. He's got the heating on in there, the little heater on
those little tiny heaters. He's got a stack of kit car owners club magazines for you to read
while you're having your MOT done. Oh, and he's got a depiction of a Cosworth.
What's the V8 F1 engine? Something V... DV? DFV? DFV. He's got a Cosworth DFV
huge high color poster on the edge of his reception booth. And as I go in and say hi to Nick,
and we have a little chit chat, I can hear just outside in the little industriously,
I can hear this. I'll try and do it if best I can.
And I'm like, what on earth is that? It's not a car that much I know. It's not a car and it's not
a dog. So I'm going, hmm, what the hell's that? And Nick sees my eyes kind of looking towards
the roller shutters as if to go, what's going on outside? He goes, oh,
that's the guys down at Practical Classics. He said, they're trying to run up and down and
start this old moped they've just bought. And they were, you know, those pedal to push old
style mopeds with the decompression lever. I won't give the full game away because I think
they're about to do a feature. I don't want to skip on their feature, but Matt Tomkins,
who's a listener of this podcast, hi Matt. And it was also a sweet, sweet guy,
which I'll come on to. He was running up and down with this barn fine moped trying to get
his missing moped. I think he nearly gave himself a Sean Connery because he said,
I've done so much running and the pen has done so little actual starting. I'm going to have to
have a lie down. So when they're Saab filled its MOT because the passenger side rear handbrake
doesn't work at all. Nick says, he says, I have to, if it's under 4% of operation, I think,
or under 6%, it's classed as a dangerous fail. And he said, yours has no percent. It's absolutely
freewheeling when I put the handbrake on full. On the driver side, it's on the passenger side,
it's very, very strong. So I'm like, okay, let me have a look. It sounds like a seized,
sounds like something seized. So I quickly afterwards, I take it out of the unit and drive it
down to the three units down where practical classics are. I'm like, could you, Matt, could
you just lend me a jack? And I'm just going to have a quick look. Anyway, Matt was jumped straight
on it and we were chatting about various rotten cars and his grandpa's amazing Mark I focus,
which he inherited. And it turns out that, yeah, the cable, the cable is somewhere snapped.
And it's just not operational. But we don't think it's a big issue, Rich. So don't get scared.
It will have it sorted and one track rod end. But apart from that, it's very good and it drives
brilliantly. It's done 150,500 miles, which I thought was a nice number. So it'll be on the road
in the next week, I'm sure. I've already found the cable because a few people are, oh, I don't
know if you can get those cables, but I've already found it and I've already ordered it. So it's
done. And it wasn't much money either. So I had quite a low MOT success rate, actually,
sad face. Yeah, two failures, one pass. So you've taken the SARB, the Boxster?
SARB and the Boxster. And I was going to take the Eagle, but I knew it definitely wouldn't pass
because it has some rot. And it also, the exhaust, which we've patched for at least 18 months now,
is definitely, I'm not even going to entertain trying to take it to the MOT Center because
there's so much air escaping underneath rather than out the back. It's just, it's not funny.
So we do need to, whether we put the word out and treat it to a bespoke stainless exhaust system,
which it probably needs, or, and we also need to get that rot seen to on the middle of the
sort of sill area where the car was cut in half. And I want to do it right. So I'm going to do that
and try and get that booked in with somebody ASAP and then it's ready for spring action.
But yeah, so I instead, I took my girlfriend's Skoda Yeti, which is by far the most modern
car out of all the cars I took, and it failed the worst. So, oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't know this,
but lower rear wishbones on that model and the, which is shared with a VW Touran, I think,
and the golf of that era. So it's a 2014 car. Apparently they rot badly. There's a hole in the
rear wishbone where the spring cup is about the size of a fist. And he said, I've seen this before.
I said, but the other side's okay, but yeah, the other side seems okay, but,
and it's just a massive hole. So I've got to replace one, if not both lower rear wishbones,
which is just quite boring, really. Yeah, I know. So there's my boring MOT triple,
MOT hat trick. And it's not a hat trick because I didn't score a goal on two of the three,
but you know what I mean? Triple MOT extravaganza. And while I was looking at rotten cars around
practical classics, I thought, we haven't talked about, do you remember ages ago,
on the podcast, we talked about Gulliver's Alphard. I still can't, still can't actually
remember why. Was it one of those fever dreams that I had? And I just decided to share it with you
about Gulliver, the giant size. Was Gulliver a giant? Or was he normal size? And there were
just lots of small people. It just went to an island full of small people. So he was normal?
I think so. But now you've said that. I'm questioning myself. I'm going to just cheat and
search. Gulliver. Was Gulliver a giant? You're listening to Smith and Smith, Britain's leading
literary Christmas podcast. Do you know what, though? You just made me realise that Gulliver
was... Of course, Lilliput, because the Lilliputians are small. Of course. I did know that.
Yeah, I was just testing you. He's a normal-sized person. Yeah.
Gulliver's long wheelbase. Gulliver is one of those words which, the more you say it,
the more foreign and confusing it sounds. Do you not think? I suppose so. If you say Gulliver
five times, you're lost, my friend. You're completely lost. Well, if you say Gulliver five
times in front of a mirror, does he appear? Gulliver does appear, but you're disappointing.
You're disappointing. You were summoning up a giant and just a normal-sized man appears and you go.
Okay. Should we go on some adventures or should we not go on it?
I'd much rather if Basie and Adrienne turned up, although I'd be freaked the hell out because
he, A, one of them's a clown. One of them's a clown and the other one's just now an old man.
Still don't know how I feel about clowns and they're in your room with you next to the mirror,
which is just not great. I'd also quickly look outside to see if they turned up in a car or not,
or whether they just teleported. Because teleporting, though mystical and amazing,
not as cool as just turning up in a prelude with some decals.
No. Something I just remembered I wanted to bring up when we were talking about car ads
is a point that was made by Matt Pryor on the AutoCard podcast the other week,
which I thought was extremely well-observed. I'd never really thought about it before,
and yet it is quite commonplace. What Matt was picking up on is when sellers list something
on the car that doesn't work and they'll be open about it, but they'll follow it with,
for example, air conditioning has never worked, but it's never bothered me.
Passenger side window has never worked, but it's never bothered me, and it's sort of slightly
passive aggressive because it's basically going, if you pass on buying this car because of that
minor fault, you're an idiot because I've lived with it and it's never bothered me.
And I suddenly thought, that is true, it is a kind of, there's something sort of like,
I dare you to say this is a problem, because it means that you're some kind of soft-centred
shite, if you do. One road wheel missing, but it's never bothered me.
It's just never bothered me.
The entire interior on fire, but it's never bothered me. If it bothers you,
then there's something wrong with your brain. Yes.
Burly man in backseat keeps stabbing me with carving knife, but it's never bothered me.
Glove box, full of inappropriate pornography, but it's just never bothered me, so I've never
bothered me. Got Pedo written in big letters down the off side. It's never bothered me.
Previous owner painted tailgate with Badger's tail and tar, but it really never bothered me.
Smeared actual badger musk on the headrest, but it's never bothered me.
I dare for it to bother you. Come on, come over and see if it bothers you. I will fight you.
In fact, this leads me to think, if anyone listening has spots say,
particularly good, it's never bothered me, send it to us. Hello at smithandsniff.com.
One of the four wheels is actually not circular, it's square, but it hasn't really bothered me,
and I've never had a puncture yet.
Entire glass house smashed off after driving under articulated lorries like in a film,
but it's never bothered me. Windscreen washer filled with synthetic oil, but it's really never
bothered me. Stinks of piss, but it's never bothered me. As soon as Matt said it, I was like,
oh God, that is so true that that happens a lot in used car ads. Radio jammed on maximum
volume playing racist rap music, but it's honestly never bothered me. I dare for it to
bother you. Come on, you weakling. Anyway, there we go. And hello to Matt and Steve on the Auto
Car Podcast, SSG's the pair of them. Sweet guys, lovely sweet guys. That's a podcast where you'll
actually learn stuff about cars on, I think. But yes, I've actually was going to talk about
something which involved real car news. Sorry, everybody. This thing about Jaguar Land Rover
on the brink of building Chinese cars in Britain, it seems. Did you know about this?
Yes, I did see this and I am puzzled by it. Do tell.
Well, because the story is that Jaguar Land Rover has a relationship already with Cherry
in China because they work together building cars in China, like building JLR cars.
And they got a good chunk of the market as a result, right?
I don't know, but I think China is JLR's second largest market. So US is first and then it's
China. So I'm sure they do all right there. I don't know what percentage of the sales there are
the ones that are made locally versus, you know, like Range Rover's shipped in from the UK. But
anyway, the story says, and this is all a rumor, like as far as I work out, no one's confirmed
this yet, but that Cherry could build cars in the UK using, and the quote in the article,
this was what I saw this on Auto Express, using spare capacity within Jag Land Rover's UK factories.
Now, what spare capacity? Because the factories are Solihull, which makes Range Rovers. So the
Range Rover and the Range Rover Sport and the Range Rover what? Sorry, Spon. They seem to be
selling pretty well. And the new Jaguar is going to be built there. They're refitting a section
of Solihull to build that as we speak. Now, I know there's not going to be a massively high
volume car, but there are other Jags to come. And I assume they might be built there too.
The Defender and the Discovery are built out into the facades. They don't count. But in the UK,
they've still got Hailwood, which is, again, being rebuilt, I think at the moment, to build the new
generation of EV cars. So there'll be a Velar replacement and then a new Evoke and this Defender
is supposed to be all electric. And I assume that will be built at Hailwood because that is also on
the EMA platform. And Hailwood is, I think, going to be the centre of building those cars.
So that leaves Castle Brom, which has been empty since they stopped making all Jags.
So is that what they're going to use if this story is correct? I assume so, because Castle
Brom had some modernising work done in, I think, ahead of building the electric XJ that was then
cancelled and which had a sister car. There was a Range Rover, an electric Range Rover that was
sort of sometimes called the Road Rover. Apparently a really nice looking car, but that was cancelled
as well. I assume that would have been built at Castle Brom alongside the XJ because they were
related. The Road Rover? Yeah, I don't know if that would have been what had been called.
Also known as a Rover? Yes, well, exactly. Well, it's a historic name because before the Range
Rover there was a project to make a car called the Road Rover, which was extremely ugly and
unpleasant and was cancelled shortly before production because they realised it probably
wasn't going to work. Oh dear. I don't know if the space at Castle Brom is what they're talking
about here because as far as I can work out at the moment, JLR don't use that. And maybe they
need it if all of their models already have a happy home somewhere else. But it's an odd one
because Cherry is not a big name in the UK at the moment. No, not at the moment. Is this part of a
push to make them much bigger and if they can build cars locally, it also ducks any possible
tariff shenanigans that may hobble them now or in the future.
Which is why as we record this, our Prime Minister is in Beijing right now, right?
Yes. Trying to do UK, China trade related deals.
So that's it. I'm still puzzled by it because I just don't know how
accurate it is. No one's confirmed it, but I assume that if it has any grain of truth to it,
it must involve the Castle Bromwich Factory because I don't think there are any other
Jagdhunter factories now. Brown's Lane's Longog.
What about if they've got a spare factory that they forgot about?
And they went, oh yeah, I hate it when that happens.
Yeah. You know, like Soviet era where they got people making stuff that nobody really wanted,
but then they just sort of walked off and left it. And then they came back 10 years later and
people were still churning out things. Oh no, we forgot to tell you to stop making alarm clocks.
And now we've got seven billion alarm clocks.
Yeah. Nobody actually needs them anymore. Really sorry about that.
We probably should have told you eight Christmases ago.
I'm keen to see where that goes.
Yes. Well, if it, I suppose, gives Jagdhunter over another income stream,
I mean, you know, they are making money again. And obviously,
they were hit hard by the cyber attack.
Massively. Can I just say a little owed to Tesla Model S?
Oh, because it's dead or dying.
They're calling time on it this summer. It's actually been around a long time.
I mean, the Model S is obviously the first mass produced car and my favorite.
And the X and the S are ending this summer and the S launched in 2012, which in EV terms is
100 years ago. Yes.
And it's bizarre whether you like Tesla's or whether you don't.
And when you look at the, well, all of them, but I'd say the S and the X in terms of packaging,
like passenger storage packaging, they are amazing for that sort of thing.
Well, you say that, but I sat in the back of your Model S the other day.
I've never been in the back of an S before and the headroom was terrible.
You think it was terrible?
Well, I couldn't sit up straight. I mean, I'm six foot three,
so I appreciate that if you're less tall than that, it may be okay.
Oh, yeah, you've got more hair than me. I've just realized.
I do need a haircut.
No, my head was up against the roof. I had to slouch a bit and I was,
well, this is a big car and that's disappointing. And I've not noticed this before and I've sat
in the back of Model 3s because they're used as taxis quite a lot and they're fine.
Albeit, they have a crossbeam between the front and rear in the roof and it's a glass roof.
But with the crossbeam and then where the glass roof ends at the back,
the Model 3, it does feel if you're tall, like your head is sort of slightly up in a dome in the
roof. And the Y is fine because it's one big piece of glass from the rear and they've got
loads of headroom. When you sit in the back of cars, do you prefer driver's side or passenger side?
Passenger side.
Okay, I'm going to Stanley knife out some of the padding of the squab
on my Model S. I'll do it straight after this podcast. I'll do it in the next 30 minutes.
Great to you. Thanks.
I'm going to Stanley knife an inch out, okay, frisbee it into the bin,
and then I'll take a picture, send it to you. And then when I advertise the car at some point
in the future, I'll say it's never bothered me, but there is a Stanley knife down a huge square
of foam coming out of the back seat. Never bothered me. Yeah, it's on the passenger side.
Who would voluntarily sit behind the driver in the back seat rather than behind the passenger seat?
I don't know. That's a good question. I wouldn't.
Because no, I want to see what the driver's doing and just somehow I don't know. It doesn't work.
I want to have eyes on the steering wheel somehow.
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I would want the same, I have to say.
Yeah, so yeah, the old S is coming to a close and it's still, I'm just trying to think, yeah,
the Plaid version with over a thousand horses is still, it's probably the fastest four-door
car I've driven, quickest, fastest. There is a bit of a contention. What is quickest,
what is fastest? I do pick people up on this. But yeah, it's definitely the quickest.
So the reason for Model S and Model X production ending this year is, according to Elon Musk,
because they need the factory to build their humanoid robots. Obviously, that's complete
horseshit. Like a lot of what he says, he's just trying to make sure that the stock price of his
company keeps going up. The real reason, obviously, it must be because 97% of all Tesla sales last
year were Model 3 and Model Y. So the Model S and the Model X are almost not wanted by anyone and
it can't be economical to keep building them, I would assume, at any scale. So it just makes
sense to wind them down. But the idea that the last Model X or Model S will roll off the line
in California and immediately a load of biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy robots will come down is
absolutely bollocks. Well, I will go along with that. I think what's bizarre is you could just
admit that both those cars, S and X, over their time have been hugely, not just pivotal, but also,
mass produced, mass sellers, mass popular cars. There's nothing wrong with saying,
hey, we've been making these for a really long time now. It's just time to discontinue them,
full stop. But it is a mark of how amateurish Tesla is as a car company. As regular listeners
will know, I currently have a Tesla Model Y and I think in many, many ways it is an excellent car,
thanks to a lot of very clever engineers and uncredited folk working at the Tesla Automotive
department. It is a very useful car. You sense the benefits of it being designed as an EV from
the ground up because they make great use of all the space. It doesn't have to
accommodate an internal combustion engine in other forms. So, you know, it's got that good
storage thing under the front, loads of storage places in the interior and a flat floor because
there's no need to think about where a prop shaft might have to go on a version with a petrol engine.
And then a massive boot with a huge well underneath it as well. So, it's a really practical car for
its size. It drives quite nicely. I think most of the tech is, works as well as anything I've
driven. There's a few shitty decisions like the wiper controls. The other day I suddenly
realized I've never used the rear fog lights in that car because you rarely do, do you? But
I suddenly realized to get to them while you're driving is a multiple press thing and I cannot
understand how that has been allowed. It's multiple press. You have to go into the lights menu. So,
you have to press the little car icon to bring up the general menu then to lights and then I think
you sort of flick down. It's just, yeah, considering that's kind of safety critical and you're going
to be in a stressful driving environment. If it's so foggy, you need your bright rear fog. Yes,
not a good idea, is it? They should not be in any way hidden. That to me is just baffling and I wonder
whether it's because... Yeah, that's the same as my Model S actually, which is what just over a decade
old now or so. Stupid, just stupid. And the wipers thing. But apart from that, I'd say
that tech integration and the effectiveness of it and the way in which your phone as a key
works is superb. It is in many ways a very useful car. Ours is on, it's got a year left on its lease
or just less. And I honestly don't know what we'll replace it with because the way that that car
drives, I think it would be better if the steering was a little bit slower. It's kind of
inexplicably quick for a family car and it doesn't need to be. And the ride just needs to be a bit
softer. And on the facelifted Model Y, they've made the steering slower and the ride softer and
it's like, well, there you go. If that's as good as it sounds, then it's going to be a genuinely
good car. But I don't want to have another one because I think musks are pricks. So I'm already
thinking what to replace it with. Plus the charging now, like, I mean, bloody hell. Well,
it's so much better than anything else. It's irritating. Well, luckily you can use that with
non-Tesliers, can't you? It's true. But again, I bet the integration is just not quite as slick.
Just the fact that you just pull up, plug in and fuck off for a bit, go and have a wee and a coffee,
and it's just all taken care of is having driven lots of other EVs. I just know that
nothing else works as well. I think Elon should just suddenly go, right, we're saying goodbye to
these really successful cars that I'm immensely proud of, the S and the X. And I've had to think
about what I'm going to do. And I'm going to start producing Lotus Elyse's. I've just decided it's a
really cool idea. Lotus are having a few problems. I've got some cash. What the hell? My car life
started with modified Lotai. I'm just going to start making Lotus's. So that's what he's going to do.
I think it'd be a great idea. And that offsets his electric cardam with a little bit of piston.
Where's he getting his engines from?
There's good questions in negotiations right now, Richard.
The Rover K series again.
He might use some of his vast engineering workforce to take the guts of the K series
and rework it so that it's much more reliable, much, much more efficient,
and faster, more powerful than ever before. And maybe just shrink the whole design down so it's,
I don't know, 600 cc or something. What was the size of the V16? Is it the BRM V16?
Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.
The capacity was tiny, wasn't it? The overall engine capacity, like a lot of old F1 cars or
pre-F1. Yeah, was it like a 1.6 or something?
Yeah. Yeah, I think it was.
It's tiny. Each cylinder's like a little thimble. But also, there's a V16 coming back because
the Bugatti Tourbillon's got one in it.
Oh, that's right. The third billion. That's right.
So I'm really fascinated by those. So I think that's what you should do. It should come back with a,
I think he, oh, he'll get the rights from Mazda to bring back the tiny V6.
Okay.
And he says, look, we're selling loads of electric cars, but I just,
I want to do some sort of interesting piston thing. So that's what we're going to do.
We're going to bring back a V6 of 900 cc.
I'm sure that if he thought it would help to boost his share price, he would say any old
shit, as indeed he does. Bringing back lotuses. Yeah. So the stock market is incredibly gullible,
isn't it? Because as long as a company appears to be growing still, they'll just still assume
that it should be revered. But anyway, Tesla's profits are down 24% as well, incidentally.
So this is probably why Musk has decided to say something ridiculous about robots.
Imagine if he bought all days and onions motor vehicles. That would be good, wouldn't it?
This is probably why we don't run all days and onions and Elon's. Yeah. We got sent a really
lovely old all days and onions cutting from a paper by David Gilley, who is a serial in his
back then, Rich. Did you know that if you wanted a five-seater torpedo model? How much?
It's 335 guineas. I'm not entirely clear on what a guinea is in modern money, but that sounds like
a lot. It's sort of Victorian Bitcoin, isn't it? Speaking of scams. Okay, right. This time to wrap
this up. So let's do that before we go of three things to tell you. The first one is that Johnny's
engaged in a strange project to force the former lead singer of Merlion to create a global computer
information and communication network under the working title Fishnet. If that's not to
There is, of course, the late break show, which has got things on it.
Yeah, yeah. Well, like I said, there's a car cake. Well, there's two things. There's my
road drive of the Kia PV5 MPV, which is also a van. So it's their first modern-day van,
all-electric, and crucially, as an MPV, it's half the price of an ID buzz. It might be even
more than half price. So it's fundamentally the same, really, in terms of size and range
and warranties, but it's half, it's £30,000 cheaper than a Volkswagen ID buzz. So I take
that for a drive. That video's out. But also, I do a car cave of a sweet, sweet guy in Devon
called Alan. Well, he won a Jurimat garage flooring competition that Jurimat ran, our sponsors.
And he is decked out, or he's going to be decking out his garage in spring. And I thought, I'd go
and have a look at it first, because he's got not loads of cars, he's got like five, six cars,
but he's got very interesting car taste. He's got everything, you know, a DeLorean and a Fiat
barquetta. And the rarest car he's got, a Fiat Punto convertible.
Bloody hell. Apparently, there's 14 left in the UK.
Mark 1, this is. Good. All right. Second thing got to do is that I have various books out. I was
looking the other day, and I noticed that a boring car Trivia 4 hasn't sold anywhere close to the
sales of the other ones. So, could you go and buy a boring car Trivia 4, please,
either from our merchandise shop at Smith & Sniff.com or from Amazon. But yes, would it help if I did
an Elon Musk and told you that every copy of a boring car Trivia 4 will at some point in the
future come with a free robot. So, just buy it now and we'll sort it out later. And I'm sure
that's all fine. Oh, I've got a piece of extra trivia. Francis Delacour, the very, very talented
Helmsman driver. I've noticed that he looks a lot like a guy in my local village that was a
painter and decorator, that was a serial womanizer. I feel like this is not a piece of trivia so much,
it's just a local tittle-tattle. No, this is trivia. I'm going to call this, it's a fact.
Well, it's better than what I got. So, there we go. Let's call it there. We'll be back on Friday,
answering more questions and we'll have a regular show on Monday. Until then, goodbye.
Bye.
But we were told to ask for this.
Oh, sorry, too many JPSs.
About this episode
Johnny Smith and Richard Porter dive into the quirky world of car fragrances, specifically the infamous magic tree air fresheners. They share humorous anecdotes about their experiences with these scents, including an overwhelming vanilla mishap. The conversation shifts to vintage finds, including a unique medallion and a Seiko watch, sparking a lively discussion about their value and nostalgia. The episode also touches on a listener's connection between a Matra Rancho and a Honda Prelude from a Dutch children's show, highlighting the show's charm and the duo's camaraderie.
Jonny and Richard discuss a used car ad trope. Also in this episode, Magic Trees and adult dancers, an unusual necklace, Bassie & Adriaan and their Prelude, a shout out for merch designers, an AI-altered car advert, the podcast Saab going for an MOT, rumours that Jaguar Land Rover is to assembly cars for a Chinese company, and the imminent death of the Tesla Model S.
