C.R.E.A.M. #77.2 Ranking The Worst Car Mods, BYD Bond and Quail WITH BEN AUDIO
C.R.E.A.M. (The TDC Podcast)
C.R.E.A.M. #77.2 Ranking The Worst Car Mods, BYD Bond and Quail WITH BEN AUDIO
Annotations will appear as you listen
0:00
84:26
Term
starter motor issue
A starter motor is what gets the engine spinning to start the car. If there’s a starter problem, the car may not start right away or at all.
Car
Honda S2000
The Honda S2000 is a small sports car made by Honda. It’s known for feeling exciting to drive, especially because the engine revs high. The podcast is talking about whether it makes sense to buy one and keep it stored for a while.
Part
CV joint
A CV joint is a drivetrain part that helps the car’s wheels keep turning smoothly even when the suspension moves. If it “explodes,” the car can start vibrating or making noise and it usually needs a repair right away.
Term
tyre
They mean tires. Tires wear out and can get expensive, especially if you’re buying the nicer or bigger performance kind.
Company
CarVertical
CarVertical is a website/service that checks a used car’s history. It can help you spot red flags (like accidents or suspicious mileage) before you waste time going to see the car.
Car
Alfa Romeo 159
The Alfa Romeo 159 is a mid-size car from Alfa Romeo. They’re saying it still looks good even though it’s old enough to be around 15–20 years.
Term
gearbox
The gearbox is what changes the gears so the engine can drive the wheels efficiently. If it’s called a weak point, it means it’s more likely to wear out or break than other parts.
Concept
wagon
A wagon is basically a car with a longer rear area for more cargo space. It’s like a hatchback, but with more room for hauling stuff.
Term
metallic red
Metallic red is a red paint that has tiny shiny particles in it. It can look more vibrant or “shimmery” depending on the light.
Concept
storage unit
A storage unit is a rented place where you keep a car when you’re not driving it. People do this to keep the car out of the elements and free up space at home.
Term
alignment
Alignment is how the wheels are aimed at the road. If it’s off, the car can feel off in steering and the tires can wear out faster.
Car
2010 BMW 535i
That’s a BMW 5 Series from 2010, the 535i model. The exact engine and drivetrain version can change how reliable it is and how it feels to drive.
Term
manual
“Manual” means you shift gears yourself with a clutch and stick. Some people prefer it because it feels more connected and fun to drive.
Term
black over black
“Black over black” means the inside of the car is basically all black, just in different shades or areas. They’re pointing out that the cabin color scheme seems to be black throughout.
Concept
auction
An auction is where people bid against each other to buy a car. The final price can be a good clue to what the car is worth.
Concept
April Fool's thing
An April Fool’s thing is basically a prank announcement. Car companies sometimes do these with fake images or made-up news just for laughs.
Term
boot
“Boot” means the trunk—the storage area at the back of the car. They’re using it to describe the car’s rear shape.
Term
pre-Face Lift
“Pre-facelift” just means the car before BMW updated it with a newer front/rear design. It’s like an earlier version of the same model, with different styling details.
Part
exhaust
The exhaust is the part that carries engine fumes out of the car. Changing it can make the car sound different, and sometimes it also changes what you see at the back.
Part
18 inch wheels
18-inch wheels means the wheel size is bigger. Bigger wheels can make the car look different—often lower and more aggressive.
Car
M3 touring
They mean the BMW M3 wagon (Touring). It’s the same kind of performance as an M3, but in a wagon body style that’s more practical for hauling stuff.
Concept
factory color
A factory color is the paint shade the car maker actually sold the car with. People like it because it looks right for that specific model, not like a random repaint.
Term
front lip
A front lip is a small piece added to the front bumper, usually for looks and a bit of airflow. It can make the car look lower and more aggressive, but it can also get damaged if you scrape it on driveways or speed bumps.
Concept
seven figures
“Seven figures” means a number with at least one million in it. It’s a way of saying “a lot of money” without getting super precise.
Concept
daily driver
A daily driver is the car you drive most days. People usually mean it should be practical and not too annoying to own.
Brand
Volvo
Volvo is a car brand from Sweden. People often associate it with safety and solid, long-lasting cars.
Concept
Monterey Car Week
Monterey Car Week is a big yearly car event in California. People show off rare cars, there are auctions, and a lot of car media and collectors show up.
Company
Koenigsegg
Koenigsegg is a company that makes very high-end supercars. The mention here is more of a fun reference than a technical discussion.
Term
Pops and Bangs
“Pops and bangs” are the loud crackling or popping sounds a car can make, especially when you lift off the gas. Some people add mods or tune the car to make those sounds happen more often.
Term
chameleon tint
Chameleon tint is a special tint for your windows that can look different colors in different light. Some people love the effect, but others think it looks weird or over-the-top.
Term
baby on board
“Baby on board” is a sign people put in their car to tell other drivers there’s a baby inside. It’s more of a sticker/accessory than a real car upgrade.
Brand
Aston Martin
Aston Martin is a luxury car brand from the UK. People associate it with fancy, high-performance cars, and some models are famous for their powerful engines.
Term
700
“700” is probably shorthand for a high-performance Aventador version—often talked about in terms of horsepower. The exact model isn’t fully clear from this snippet.
Term
Gintani spec
“Gintani spec” means the car has been set up the way Gintani would—usually with performance upgrades. Here they’re saying it can change the sound so it’s more high-pitched.
LIVE
You're an idiot because you walk by bending your knees.
I'm walking straight, I'm looking straight leg and there's no cut to the death at all.
We're not, we're not going to start any fights.
We're not going to eat all your food. We're going to be very quiet.
I will. I am.
I'm going to eat everything in fights.
Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel! Koel!
Hello and welcome back to the 77th podcast episode of Cars Rule Everything Around Me.
You thought I was going to trip but I didn't. I stumbled.
With myself, Edwin. William to my left and Benjamin behind the behind.
Hello.
At the beginning of every podcast, we answer the question because rule or ruin everything
around us this week.
William.
Ah, a mixed bag I have for thee.
We know something that you guys don't know yet.
One car I can confirm has been sold.
And that is very sadly, the yellow clear.
Can't believe it.
It was here.
It was here for a day.
It was.
Yes.
It was here for one day.
We went out to lunch once.
I took it home once.
Yeah.
And that was it.
I'm a little bit sad, but it's for a greater good overall and I thought, you know, I'm
not really getting any use out of it at the moment.
It's currently with John at Cormoran and he caught wind of the fact that I might sell
and he said, would you like to sell that to me?
He said, how much that?
Yeah.
And then that sort of accent.
And I sold him for what I think was quite a good price.
He's helped me out quite a bit with that car and he now knows that car quite well.
Almost too well now.
It's kind of been the bane of his life, but now it is his car.
It all happened quite quickly actually.
It was like Friday evening or Saturday and basically it was sold by Sunday.
Can't believe it.
And the car's still with him.
It's a very weird sale because it was like, it wasn't with me.
He said, I have the car.
Can I buy it?
Yes.
You can buy it.
You have no closure.
No.
You never got to say goodbye.
No.
Crazy.
But do you know what?
I went for a good old drive in it, used it a fair bit and you know, that's it.
But also got it back on the road and running and now it works as it should.
It's done a few hundred miles now.
No starter motor issue.
I'm not happy.
You're not happy?
I haven't mentioned a shit about this car because you very casually came in today and
told us you'd sold it.
Now.
Yeah, I forgot.
Remember a bet we had?
Yeah.
I said you wouldn't buy one?
Oh, sorry.
Did I miss out the terms and conditions of it?
Yeah, but it kind of feels a little bit like, you know, it feels a little bit scamming
that you just bought it for a couple of weeks and sold it.
Now, do you think buying an S2000 and putting it in storage and letting it crust away into
That's a great point.
That's interesting, isn't it?
Now, we the bet was not that he would keep it forever.
I know it just feels like I'm not saying do you think he bought it simply?
Do you think he spent thousands of pounds?
I mean, we do know this man.
Win a bet.
We do know this man.
He would.
But no, I thought I'm not saying you've done anything wrong.
I'm just saying that it feels a little bit like it feels a bit.
I'll get what you're saying, but you're going to have to suck out.
Also, do you know what Ben, that means?
That means a space in the team has opened up.
Team Clio, we know that there could only ever be two.
There may not be three.
So Ben, feel free.
I do feel free.
You never know because it's a ticking.
It's waiting for me at any moment.
I could buy one.
Yeah, we'll be back.
I could be back.
If things don't pan out the way that, you know, we was hoping I might buy like a hundred.
I will want one.
So that is now gone.
Basically, I will not see that.
Well, I might see it again, but not in my ownership.
McGann, as you know, his back is still good.
He's behind us.
Still working.
It's right behind us.
Pantomime enjoys that it exists.
The Range Rover, I'm yet to get fixed.
That's getting fixed next week, I hope.
And then it will get sold.
And then it only really leaves a mum or car.
Well, no, you don't have any other cars now.
Don't do I.
Unconfirmed.
Unconfirmed.
There has been a large movement in the garage of me in the tights, but unconfirmed yet.
So there will be news on that mixed feelings.
Can't also have been on the search for a new daily.
Because again, I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that I think the Range Rover will go.
The CV joint exploding has been almost a final nail in its quite large coffin.
Otherwise, a trouble-free coffin.
Otherwise, a really trouble-free coffin.
Otherwise, a really trouble-free car.
And I've done 30,000 miles in it, but after a while, the cost does get a little bit.
Even if it works, you're still getting 20 to 25 MPG.
They still cost well over it.
Even for me, as an old man with a clean license, over a grand a year to ensure 800...
Everything's just a large number.
You need a tyre.
It's going to be expensive.
It's just expensive.
So I would like to end that and put that money into fun cars.
That would be nice.
Because you don't mind spending that on a lovely blue sky weekend car.
Only yellow sky cars.
Yeah.
Well, maybe you can't see the sky.
And so I've been looking at dailies.
I haven't come to a decision, but there's a vibe.
But there's a vibe.
And it is an Italian vibe.
And they've been looking at 159s.
Second Lamborghini Glavitz daily.
I thought I'd go with the Vert, you know, if that one.
But I'm looking at 159s because I think they've...
I think I do.
So good.
So cool.
I've been looking at like passats.
And I'm very sorry to say it.
Golfs and even like fiestas and focuses.
I can't bring myself to do it.
They're economical and they work and they're cheap to fix
and they're cheap to run.
But I can't do it.
But it's only like a 159.
Just feels...
You're speaking to the wrong person.
Ben famously hates them.
You hate the 159.
I forgot.
But do you not remember this?
This is from early podcast.
Oh, even Ben.
I don't know what car it is.
What was your picture in a sec?
But thankfully, again, this episode of the podcast has been sponsored
by the guys at CarVertical.
It saved me a load of time.
I haven't been to view any cars yet,
but I've looked at a bunch online,
done a car vertical check beforehand just to see.
And some of them have been either put off or encouraged
by the car vertical check.
And it's just a very, very handy thing to do
when you're looking at a car.
Never leave any stone unturned.
And a car vertical check should be your first step.
It can be something completely innocent from the seller.
They might not know they've been sold a dodgy car
or it might be something they're trying to deliberately hide.
We have been always using it.
The amount of cars that has turned up that we've got.
And this looks okay.
And it's then turned out to be a dog is worth running your checks.
So you can get a discount of 20% if you use R-Code cream
or if you're doing multiple throughout the year,
you can bundle them together, get 50% off your next check,
shout out CarVertical, do your checks before you buy them.
Do not get swindled by Alfa Romeo's online.
Ben, here you go.
Here is a photo of an Alfa Romeo 159.
Don't tell me that is not one of the best-looking modern cars.
I know it's modern.
I'm saying we're talking about a 17-year-old car,
basically, at this stage.
Almost 20 for the old ones.
I know what this is now.
The rear is nice.
The interior is nice.
The front...
It doesn't differ from me.
I don't like those headlights.
They're the best front-ends of all time.
I don't think Alfa have made a better-looking car since.
Agreed.
Fully agreed.
I like the Julia looks great and stuff, but it isn't that.
You know what?
The Julia could be any car.
If you took the front nose...
What's it called?
The Alfa Scudetto?
Is that what it's called?
I should know that and I don't.
But if you took that off, it could be any car.
It could be an N3.
It could be this one.
But when you look at the design of this, the inset lights and then the overhanging bonnet,
it's so perfectly Alfa.
It's so good.
I used to want one many, many moons ago.
I ended up having a Brera when I was 19.
To be fair, it was actually a bit of a let down.
As a 19-year-old with V6, it was cool, but it was not a great car at all.
But now I want a 159.
Either...
It'll probably be a diesel, annoyingly, just because of economy and what such.
That's a TI one, or at least that's the TI wheel.
So it's got the really cool wheels.
I don't mind red, but there you can get them in black on tan, Benjamin.
That would be best spec.
It all feels like Alfa's stitched into the headrest.
It just feels a little bit more, not necessarily premium.
It's a bit more Italian.
When you compare that side-by-side to an E19 3-Series.
Yeah, it's just rep-mobile.
There's just something...
The 3-Series is just a 3-Series.
There's nothing to make you stir to use the James May coin.
Yeah, when I was looking at them before, obviously, it was like 13 years ago or something,
and they didn't have the same sort of issues they do now, which is rast.
I was quite surprised.
I thought, I'll get a 159.
They're perfectly good.
And then you have a look online, and it's like subframe corrosion,
sill corrosion is a massive thing.
So try to find a clean one.
It'd be difficult.
I'd quite like a 2-litre diesel Volkswagen.
Automatic.
Also, they have Volkswagen, not Volkswagen.
They have a Vauxhall GM engines and gearboxes and whatever.
But the gearbox is a massive weak point.
Apart from, apparently, the 2-litre diesel.
That's wonderful.
So you want an ideal world, 2-litre diesel wagon,
which is a sport wagon or a spaghetti wagon.
I'll take us alone.
But wagon means...
I like black.
I like...
I saw a white one.
I was very surprised that I liked that.
Like a white, even over a tan or a black leather would do me.
Or...
There's not many colors, if I'm honest.
I always liked, and I looked when I was...
This would have been just when I met you at Carthal.
I was looking at 147 standards,
because I couldn't ensure anything else.
But they did like a metallic red.
A dark red.
I'm number one red hater.
Rosso...
Competitione, I think.
Yeah, it's shiny.
It's the HC colour.
Yeah, exactly HC colour.
That on a 159, the 147.
That's nice.
I like that.
I think it might either...
I think it's quite rare.
Someone did it on a Brera.
Yeah, it's really rare.
But yeah, just feeling a little alpha.
I mean, that could be a dreadful mistake, but who knows.
You've got to have some form of Italian in your life.
Yeah, but you've already got one.
Sorry, yeah.
We've got to fill that gap, haven't we?
Ben.
I don't think I have any updates.
I'm going to go rule on this occasion.
Okay, rule.
Because you've been driving your SC1000 around.
Well, it will be coming out next week.
Okay.
Well, you know what?
Seeing as the McGann is back,
we need some sort of forgazy to keep the creamers going with.
So, like, you know, it switched from the McGanns coming back every week
to I'm getting the S2000 every week.
Next week, I'll be asking you very nicely at some point
if you'll take me as the storage unit at lunchtime.
And I'll be going to get my S2000.
I think this time next week, Ben's going to go...
There's a reason.
There is a reason not to.
A something shall befall you.
And you will go, I can't.
I can't.
How could I?
I can't.
I can't.
Why?
Because I can't.
Now, would you...
You're going to start draining it then.
You're going to start driving it home back and forth.
No.
What if...
So, why is it coming back from the unit?
I'll leave the golf...
I'll swap for a bit.
You'll swap?
Just for fuel and fuel.
So, the golf...
We're golf-sitting in the unit.
You know, we're tucking that away for the summer.
At least the Mars off it.
More on the car park, but...
Oh, OK.
And then I will drive that into last fuel and fuel.
And then at some point...
Once I have space and I have moves and stuff,
I will then bring it home with me.
Nah, surely not.
But I don't...
Yeah, right now, I don't have any.
I should put it.
Ben, with the S2000...
Ben, with the S2000...
In deep storage.
Yeah.
In deep rust.
So, are you excited?
Yeah.
OK.
That sounded...
That didn't sound...
That sounded not convincing.
Yes.
That was, do you love me?
Sure, sure.
I don't...
I don't know.
I feel quite...
I feel quite inutrient to it.
I want to get driving it again and I'll decide if I'm happy with him.
So, you want to put it...
You want to put it to the test, basically.
No, he's...
I just want to flash back to the last week where we were making fun of Ben for him,
you know, skit to Ben for the flopping.
Where he'd go, I don't know.
I'm ready to tell it.
And then last week he was, I love it.
I never said that.
That's an amazing car.
And then this week, Ben is...
Yes.
Well, you know, I'll see if I like it.
You're at that stage, it's like the...
It's a relationship that you're basically at the end of it.
But like, you've got that one last thing where you go, look, let's have a sit down.
Is there something we can do?
Is there something we can do?
And the S2000, it has to perform.
The S2000 has to do something.
That really gets your hair going.
And then the back end...
The hair going?
The back end just switches around and he goes, right, that's it.
You've always been like this.
No, I'm going to keep it and use it.
Okay.
I like it.
Okay.
But at the minute, I just have...
Don't like it.
It's not on the front of my mind currently.
I've got other things to think about.
So yeah, it's not.
I don't know.
Like what else?
Like your investment portfolio.
Yeah.
Well, that's the front of my mind.
Or your estate agent.
Business.
That's the one.
Yeah, that's the one.
Yeah, no, I'll get that out.
So yeah, it's a rule for me.
Have you successfully managed to buy the entirety of Bristol yet?
If they accept the offer?
No, trying.
But obviously after you less stuff.
Exactly.
They're a little bit frosty now.
Yeah.
Liquidity is not great until that money comes back in.
Negotiations have broken down.
I'm going to say it is rule for me.
It's rule for me.
I drove the...
I've been driving the TVR a little bit.
I love it.
I do really love that car.
I know it's...
I keep...
It keeps making me think, do I have that?
I go and look at it.
I'm like, I have that.
I have that.
That's mine.
I took it to take Will to an undisclosed location to pick Will up.
Sorry, because he didn't have a way home from an undisclosed location on the weekend.
And then I went, oh, let me run into town and get a haircut.
Park the car up.
A creamer actually came up to me.
And as he was speaking to me, someone reversed into the TVR, which was nice.
How do you do that?
It is cream.
Do you know what the guy said to me?
Right?
I was actually not too upset because it's a 150,000 mile car.
It has scratches all over the front anyway, and it didn't make much for Mark.
But he said, I parked up, got the car.
I was talking to this guy for a few minutes.
This guy just reversed at two mile an hour into it.
And he went, oh, we were always there.
I went, it is bright green, if I'm honest.
And he went, yeah, fair.
But he immediately back, he was like, yeah, no, sorry.
I was trying to get out of it.
No, you were like, you must have just dashed into that.
You must have reversed it.
Why me?
Bright green objects, right behind the alien UFO.
But no, that's fine.
I've polished it out already.
It was just a little scratch.
Tis butter scratch.
But other than that, I think I'm happy.
I'm driving the Clio to work every day.
That's working.
The alignment's a little bit rough on that at the moment.
It kind of went from quite a cool little road track car.
I put the coilovers on, haven't aligned it yet.
And now it's kind of just Cadillac in nature.
A little bit soaring at the wheel, which is nice.
But not much to report.
It hasn't been much.
We are doing something this week on Thursday.
I'm quite excited for.
Oh, yeah.
We're going abroad.
On an Oli day to buy a car.
Ben's not.
I'm not.
Ben deliberately set this all out so that he wouldn't come with us.
It was the country.
I would like to come with you.
I said, I don't want to go there.
I know someone from there.
I'm busy that day.
And then we said, what about this day?
And he went, I'm on holiday that day.
That's for usual.
That's a damn joke.
You take one holiday.
Yeah.
One like seven week holiday.
Ben is the person who scans the calendar for how to maximize those holidays.
I have possibly a job.
I don't know, three months just because he's taking.
He's only taken three days off.
Yeah.
But we won't see him.
I wouldn't admit you take less holiday than I do.
But I still, I still take,
comparatively to most people, not a lot.
Probably eight days a year maybe.
While you're on holiday doing niche.
You're going away for two weeks.
Sipping pina coladas in Exeter or whatever it is.
Right.
So that's three.
I don't, I didn't actually give an answer.
Yeah.
Mine will be a ruin.
Okay.
It will be a ruin.
There's nothing, nothing.
No, no major reason, but it's just, it's cause it's up in the air.
Two rules on a rune back to the classic.
No more, no more triple rules.
Shall we get on to some anecdotes?
Edwin, you've been here that the brown barge goes on holiday.
I've been so excited to hear this.
I saw it coming on Saturday evening.
I'll be honest.
It's not exactly what you think.
We, as we said in previous episodes, we now have to remind ourselves by adding
our extra anecdotes privately to work out what it is.
I'm going to show you, I'm going to describe to you a car.
Can we explain the brown barge first?
The brown barge is your old BMW E61 wagon.
It's just an old five series wagon from the 2000s.
Brown.
Brown in nature.
And it was, you know, a car, I'd say for sure.
For a while.
It was brown on brown.
It was brown on beige.
Yeah.
Which is an interesting spec.
But it was also, it was triple brown because it looked brown.
It looked brown externally.
It had basically a brown interior.
And then also it had been parked in a field so it smelt kind of like brown and a bit of green.
Okay.
I'm going to describe to you a car.
It is a 2010 BMW 535i.
That is the N54.
That is the big, big engine in an E60 wagon, five series wagon.
But it is an X drive, which is an American only.
It's a manual.
Wow.
Yeah.
Manual with an M sport kit.
So he's got, he's got the full kit.
Cars and Bids, a rival podcast, you know, podcast to us and one that we have kind of beef with
a little bit of quiet beef with Mr.
Always good to mention small creators.
With Mr. Demure himself.
How much did that car sell for?
Dollars is America.
Is it low miles?
I'm just going to put you out your misery.
It was $52,500.
What the hell?
For a 535.
Surely it's low miles.
It's 50,000 miles.
Okay.
So it's low miles.
Ridiculously though.
But not crazy.
Yeah.
And it was a real I was served of Mr.
Demure and his, and his band of married men talking about this car.
Are they going, dude, this thing's perfect.
Dude, this is the ultimate wagon.
This is the best car on earth.
I think that's a great deal.
What are we talking about here?
50,000.
So what's that in pounds?
Like 35, 30, late 30s.
That is mint M5 money.
That's perfect M5 money.
I get it, right?
It's manual and it's an all-wheel drive one.
But this isn't special.
I know it is and it's rare.
I looked it up and apparently there's something like 50 of these made.
So it's a rare car.
That's because it's a weird combination.
It's a manual four-wheel drive estate car.
But they're calling it like the ultimate station wagon, like the ultimate wagon.
That would be a five.
I've just described an RS4, but with a bad engine.
Exactly.
There's RS4s.
There's RS6s.
There's M5s.
Why are we getting so excited about an engine that is, hey, look, you can fight
about the M54 into the ends of the earth.
They are not great when they're not well looked after.
If they're well looked after, amazing engines, but they're not bulletproof.
We can run them like a 2J badly on no oil.
And it goes, yeah, I'll just deal with it.
Also, it's not special.
I know it's a good engine.
You can make power and it's powerful enough as it is standard.
But it's not like, you know, last of its kind engine.
It's not like an SA-V10 or V8.
It's also replaced by the M55, which was arguably better.
People are going to get upset about that.
But hey, the M55 made it into an actual M car.
Yeah, a 1M, you can argue.
And then it replaced again by the B58.
Let's stop the argument there.
Yeah.
But more importantly, you spend $50,000 on an E61, on a brown barge.
A various brown barge.
It's a brown barge.
No, it's black.
It's black.
Oh, okay.
I thought we were going for...
No, unfortunately, not the...
Not the...
Is it a wild?
Is it like a...
This is individual sepia green, grune, magrunic.
I think so.
And the interior is an extended, half extended, half leather,
half suede, majindus.
Black over black.
Great.
It's just black over black.
Maybe it is an individual color, but it looks to be black over black.
It's individual black.
Yeah.
This is the only one of this exact car painted in this color.
It's black.
But that was...
You know what?
It just confused me.
But it confused me with all that.
I was expecting some reaction of like, what's going on?
And they were all like, yeah, no, this makes sense.
That's totally normal.
Absolutely fine.
I'd pay that.
I'd aptly pay that.
Well, I wish I was at the auction.
Because I think...
Put a paddle in my hand.
The equivalent is when an American car comes here, we don't go, whoa!
That's so rare.
We need it.
No, it's still worth £11.
Yeah.
And we go...
That car's ripe for just sitting in the corner of Facebook Marketplace.
Yeah.
On a slightly overgrown, grassy driveway.
Yeah.
With a sort of gray painted house.
And then just at the corner of an American flag visible somewhere,
hidden behind perhaps a Vauxhall Combo van.
That's also on the drive as well.
God.
What we got next?
James...
No, not James Bond.
We'll get to James Bond.
Perhaps that was a crafty little retention thing for you all.
Oh, Benny's the speediest Bond.
Confirmed.
Confirmed.
M3 wagon thing.
And for that, I will have to tell you.
Last year, BMW did some form of japery, some jokery.
They did an April Fool's thing saying...
Oh, I pulled up the wrong photo.
Apologies.
Oh.
I thought you meant that thing.
No.
We can briefly...
We can mention that afterwards.
Yeah.
This is a race car that BMW are actually going to race this year.
That is based on...
I've seen this.
Now, this will be some weeks old by this point,
but we missed it last week.
Heard it here, third.
You're possibly even later than third at this stage.
But yeah, last year, there was an April Fool's thing saying,
why have we made these guys?
I think one was an M2 Dakar,
and then there was an M3 Touring GT3 Evo.
But now they've said, yeah, no, it was funny,
but actually we are making that.
So that car is actually going racing.
Going racing?
Going racing.
So it has got a ridiculous rear wing.
Yeah, it's kind of crazy.
It reminds me a little bit of the John Olson RS6
from many moons ago.
Do you know what?
Look, wagons have had in previous times a place in racing.
You've got 850 BTCC Volvo.
So why not?
Run it.
Let's see what it does.
But I think that's cool.
P58 engine, it's apparently a little bit longer
and a tiny bit wider, I think,
than what you'd have usually had with an M4.
He's got some width on it.
But what I now want to see,
is that without a livery on the street.
So we can have an M3 Touring Touring.
A Touring Touring.
So it's a GT3 non-race car, or it'd be a Touring RS.
Touring, racing, touring.
It's for touring, but racing.
Not the one you're thinking of.
If you try and put your dog in the boot,
he's going to hit his head on some scaffolding.
He's going to be a little bit upset.
But then in also news that we weren't expecting perhaps
to speak about, or at least I wasn't,
is that there's a company making an E46 Touring.
I'll be honest.
I know nothing about it.
Well, that's called BMW.
They make the E46 Touring.
But what a company in the UK has done,
is they are now making E46 M3 wagons,
something that you can just buy.
So if you don't know until now,
the E46 M3 only ever came as a coupé.
There have been people over the years converting them to M3s,
perhaps even Auto Alex himself,
built himself the wagon that he wanted out of his old car.
However, this company, which are called,
I think Petroil, I got a photo here, Petroilium.
Petroil are building E46 M3s wagons,
but to whatever spec you want.
So they've done a launch,
which is Laguna Seca Blue over Cinnamon.
Makes sense.
I don't like that spec.
I'm not a fan of the spec.
I love Laguna Seca Blue.
I'm going to say it.
Sometimes I like more than Oxford Green.
It's the one that originally took my heart for the E46 M3.
But over Cinnamon, I'm not too sure it works.
I don't really...
I just don't like E46 M3 Tourings.
I kind of get it. I understand it.
Do you know what it is?
It's because if you look at the rear quarter,
like the upper rear quarter,
the boot, let's say,
the boot and the roof from that corner,
that's just an ordinary E46.
And also the rear lights are the normal touring ones,
which are all like the pre-Face Lift ones,
so they don't have...
I don't get it.
And there's people going,
it's blasphemy,
but no one really knows why they like it.
If you know what I mean,
it's just like they like it
because, oh, that should be cool.
So I think it's cool.
That is a bad shaped car.
It's not as good as a coupé.
It's way worse than a coupé.
I get it.
It's the car that BMW made one
and now people are going,
I'm going to make it.
But as BMW would have done.
But it doesn't look as good as a coupé.
Now, what is cool
because it's a company offering it,
they have said,
you don't have to have an S54.
We can do a zero mile S54.
Or we can do a V10.
We can do an S85.
Oh, wow.
We can do a V8, an S65.
We can do an S6,
whatever you want,
they will put in there,
which is that I think is cool.
If you can go to a company and say,
build me a wagon,
but yeah, I'm the same.
It's just,
it leaves me a little bit, eh.
You cannot tell me that from the back.
Let's you cut off the sort of,
the front arches and stuff from the back,
but you know,
halfway back,
and it looks anything other than
just a normal E46.
It's just the exhaust.
It needs a little something,
not like,
not a slight wing,
but like a little lip or something.
Why do they look like fronts all around?
They do look a little bit like fronts all around,
which are the 18 inch wheels.
They also,
they're also technically the incorrect color.
They should be a shadow crime,
not a full silver.
Thank you.
But I get,
I can see why a company has done that
because there's going to be a million and one.
Yo, no,
I've been yearning for a touring E46.
I just wish they built that.
Could I have Hound's Tooth over Hound's Tooth?
Like Hound's Tooth on the outside.
How many shades of green do you do?
And then on the inside,
like a brown cognac.
In the,
on the new M3,
where does the M3 wagon sit in your,
in your space?
It would sit just below,
as in,
so you have M3 touring,
M3 normal M4.
It goes M3.
Yeah.
M3 touring.
I do.
I love the new M3 touring.
He's again,
he's designed to be so.
Yeah.
If you know what I mean.
And then it would be a M4 after that.
I don't really like the M4.
I'm the same.
The M4 is Ben.
Is,
is the options going to go again?
So well,
actually you can have,
so you've got M3 touring.
Yeah.
Normal M3,
which is a four door.
Yeah.
The M4,
which is a two door coupé,
and an M4 convertible.
I'm ranking them.
You're ranking it.
I'm going to get M3 normal,
M3 touring,
M4 normal,
M4 touring.
Do you know what?
M4 touring, M4 convertible.
Now, do you know what?
Sometimes I care so little about the M4 coupé,
that the vert goes above it.
Okay.
Because sometimes I see like a Miami spec M4,
which is like kind of a silly loud color on the outside,
some big chrome wheels,
and then like a light colored champagne interior.
And I think,
do you know what?
I like the M4 coupé so little.
I can deal with that.
Somewhere,
but it's somewhere,
sit somewhere between,
I have an M3,
but maybe perhaps if I had to have an M4,
maybe I just would.
I'll get the vert.
But yeah,
no, the touring,
I don't get that,
but I'm possibly in a minority.
I'd be interested to see more specs.
I want to see what people come out with,
because now that it's a thing that you can just go and buy,
that's the thing that a lot of people won't want to deal with.
They'll have the money for it.
They're going to go,
so I need to,
I need to go and buy two cars.
I need to then pay someone to pull an S54 out,
then I need to go and find a body shop
who'll put a rear quarter on.
I don't want to deal with this.
Because if there's a company,
like a singer that you can go to,
that's what I mean.
It makes sense.
Make me something.
We'll start probably seeing some cool specs.
Do you know what?
No idea.
No idea at all.
Okay.
So just revealing it,
because there's,
I think we spoke about it briefly on one of the last,
if not the last podcast,
about M-Craft.
Yeah.
Those 1M ones,
and man,
that,
that I'm hearing,
that 1M,
the 1Ms,
and even because we were talking about colors,
and it was like how,
I'm not normally a fan.
If someone makes either a recreation
or something like that,
or a resting mod,
I like it to go a factory color,
but like a factory color,
not necessarily a BMW color,
but one that fits that model.
And it's like,
if someone starts painting it
a San Reno blue or whatever,
it starts to look,
it's BMW,
but it never was available there.
It becomes a show car.
Yeah.
It looks like a show car.
But those are like,
as an Alpina green one,
and there's a Hockenheim silver one,
and man,
it's because they pick the right wheels,
it's sat just right,
it has the right engine,
and man,
that is a dream build.
What is your ultimate,
now we're in BMWs here,
let's say BMW,
what's your ultimate BMW build?
Does it exist,
or do you like to make it?
It does.
Okay, what's that?
It would be basically the current generation
M3.
Right?
Underneath.
That's it.
Thanks so much for coming.
And then I just pay them
underneath.
No,
as in like the drive train
and all that sort of thing.
And then I'd have the current Alpina
three series,
whatever it is.
So a B3S.
Yeah, but with,
is that diseases?
Yeah,
because that's got that S58 engine.
Does it?
Yeah.
Because I love the shape of the,
I guess,
now it's no longer the current
three series.
The current three series,
saloon,
I've loved that since it came out.
So that one,
that was that other front end.
Alpina B3 Touring S.
I would,
do you know what?
Black with a tan interior.
Lovely.
Big old silver.
You know,
the,
you know,
you see like a really tasteful M3 now
and you can get,
they make bright silver wheels from
factory.
Yeah.
Well, those wheels are,
that's what we want.
You want those wheels?
Yeah.
That's it.
You're right for a little
rest of the company to come along.
Yes.
You can't pinpoint it.
If you go to them with those
options and they go,
yeah,
about this,
you go,
that is the car.
Yeah.
It was 150,000 pounds.
There they go.
Thanks for the deposit.
Paid another 400 in a minute.
The sixth generation of Alpina B3
in September,
2019,
followed the sedan version.
Car is powered by the same S58,
straight six engine as the M3,
but tuned to produce 461 horsepower
and mated to an eight speed
transmission and all wheel drive as
standard.
So meaning that you have the looks of
an M340,
non big gopping grill,
but with the running gear for an M3.
That's my guy.
I'm assuming that's different
and everything and all the driving.
Yeah.
Real drive mode and all that stuff.
Okay.
That's that's interesting.
Simply fantastic.
I like those.
Well,
for me,
I would still love one day.
One of my end goals ever is
eight series,
E31 eight series with the V10.
With the
because that's my favorite looking BMW
of all time.
It is for me.
Perfect.
For me,
impossible.
Ray Romano,
Rivera,
yes,
he built that.
He did.
But again,
it's like as we've spoken about in the
again,
he wasn't necessarily going for the
sort of rest stone mod thing and such.
He's just modifying it as he wishes.
But it was that vibe where it has the
head of V10 in it.
It was very clean,
well made,
but just just a tad,
just a bit too much.
Yeah.
A little bit too much on the market.
I just want some alpina 18s and alpine
front lip and some nice interior stuff
and then be happy.
Yeah.
A lot of people have done it,
but there are challenges
that you have to deal with.
Like,
for instance,
the car,
the engine doesn't like being in there.
Oh,
it goes to some major.
I don't fit between these
strut towels.
So if you could deal with that
and then you have to get an angle grinder
out and you go,
hey, hi.
But so just another episode of three
old men shouting at the world
turning
bring back the old stuff.
It was better.
It was my better in 2016.
You remember the summer.
Ben,
you've been here.
James Bond in a BYD.
Now,
what sort of
of of bollocks is this?
Yeah, that's
it's a weird one is what it is.
There he is.
Look like a thumbnail.
He's a crazy photo.
Basically Daniel Craig.
Yeah.
Who played James Bond recently has
signed some sort of new ambassador deal
for Denza.
Okay.
Chinese brand,
which is owned by BYD.
So he's on the face of it.
Lovely.
So he's got master Martin to this.
Can you describe on the screen
what you're saying?
Okay.
So we have a car.
Imagine a state car from Watch Dogs 2.
Very good description.
And now imagine
a giant Daniel Craig staring down a
planet.
He is.
He is upwards of 40 foot tall.
Yes.
He's also staring directly at you.
He's actually looking at the car.
He's sort of looking at you going,
he's going, this is a BYD.
And you know what?
This is speculation,
but he probably got paid,
you know,
probably tens of millions of pounds
to this.
I thought you were going to say,
I was going to,
I thought you were going to say this
is speculation,
but he might not be,
he might be photoshopped into that photo.
And do you know what,
Ben,
I'm seeing where you're going with that.
It's not very well photoshopped.
That's like my level of attempt.
Well, we've got this one.
There's another photo here.
I saw another one where
I actually saw a different one to this.
Maybe I saw a different one.
The four by four one.
I couldn't get it up without.
He looks three or four different ages.
Yeah.
In every single one.
Because, because there that is,
that is.
Oh, so that's.
Why does the car have a baseball cap on?
Now this is,
I knew this would become a question
and I've been wondering this for many
moons.
The car has a taxi light.
Like, you know,
you know when you see an old,
old American,
no, it's not.
You know,
when you see an old American film
from New York and there's tax,
and they've got their little baseball
cap thing right above the windscreen,
little thing that lights up taxi,
or perhaps an English taxi,
you know,
whichever one you like.
I've been noticing it because I saw
this in my review, Mary,
the other day.
A Volvo,
which can you see has,
has the same thing.
Has a bulge.
What it is,
I just looked it up for,
is a LiDAR scanner.
And it was something installed by,
like an aftermarket E sort of company.
They,
they,
they won like a bid with Volvo
to install LiDAR detectors
in the front of the car to help
prevent crashes and for safety.
3D printing stuff.
Exactly.
You can't just scanning the road
and your 3D printer home is going,
I could,
I could make that a whole BYD
in front of you if you like.
M25 southbound.
Got it.
Got it.
Do you want it?
For doing games.
Fantastic.
Oh wow.
She's great.
Scanning tracks and towns.
But so,
and also there was supposedly a
story I found of,
if you held your phone camera up
to it,
it would destroy your phone's camera,
which is nice.
But so,
yeah,
it's LiDAR to try and help prevent
crashes.
It started as a
factory standard equipment thing
for Volvo's.
Then it became optional
and now it's been cancelled.
So I'm not sure it's gone that well.
But I believe,
We'll speak to Daniel Craig.
Well,
he's going to say,
Daniel, mate,
what is the new,
hold on,
Z9 GT's roofline
about?
They'll go,
that's the LiDAR scanner.
It prevents,
what it does is shoots rockets.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It can scan your baddies
in front of you.
And really print them for you.
And you can do whatever
you like.
What?
Now,
I just think it feels like a cop
out, doesn't it,
from old James?
But I mean,
hey, money talks.
Money talks.
Money does talk,
but let's,
let's be real here, James.
You would?
I don't think I would.
I would for like,
call it,
okay,
right now.
How much?
I'm a Chinese factory,
making cars.
Good morning.
Hi,
William.
You're from the cream podcast,
is it?
I think so.
Yeah.
I know that.
I love your work.
I know you haven't
watched a single thing.
I've watched all of it.
You haven't.
How about ten million dollars
to have your face?
All right.
On.
Yeah.
I don't care what you,
whatever you've said.
Okay.
I'm doing it.
Okay.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
But is it enough?
Ten mil.
Ten mil.
You're buying it.
Dollars.
Yeah.
No, we're going to go.
Yeah.
Dollars.
Dollars.
There's taxes,
so you'll probably take you home.
I'm only really talking like
one zonda and a bit of chump change.
You're talking like
four mil take home.
British.
Oh, you're talking about the
tax as well.
Yeah.
No, it's not worth it.
No, you're not having
four million.
Four million pound in your hand
right now.
But how can I come on this
podcast ever again?
After we've,
how many times have we abused
electric cars?
True.
But at the same time,
you'd have a zonda sitting
behind us, not the began.
Yeah.
Perhaps.
Perhaps.
So you're saying no to four
million quid.
It wouldn't make things much
easier.
It would.
Yeah.
No, your life would be,
I'd say I'd call it life
changing.
Also, people forget.
Exactly.
People forget.
Do you know what?
Right.
In 20 years,
if someone says to me,
Daniel Craig,
I'm going to go that bloke
from the denser ads.
Yeah.
No.
It would stop
promoting electric cars.
I'm going to go,
what?
James Bond.
But then what you might get
is, yeah,
he was James Bond.
You're going, yeah, he sold out
there, didn't he?
Yeah.
B-Y-D.
And then he drives past you
in his zonda.
Yeah.
I think we'll
four million pounds.
I think you're doing it.
What's the number?
Clear in your account.
You finished it.
I'm going post tax number.
Yeah.
If I could clear a
20.
If I could clear a comfortable
seven figures in the account.
Seven.
Where's the decimal point,
though?
It's 200,
but with the point.
A million quid,
just like flat art taxes.
I'm happy.
Okay.
Yeah.
So just know that they're going
to be listening to this,
writing it down.
Yeah.
Oh, what?
They're going to give me a
million quid?
Oh, please don't do that.
That's what I'm saying is,
but by underselling yourself
by saying 200.
Exactly.
They just wrote down
one and they did the comma.
Yeah, because you can
000.
And then they went,
oh, you said that number
and they described it off.
Yeah.
Don't speak to them anymore.
You can come down,
but you can't go back up,
can you?
That's a great question.
So I'm going to,
basically it's two mil.
You're just laying it out on the
table.
You're like, let's save some
negotiation time.
You're going to knock me down
to two.
I'm going to go back up to,
let's just call it a mil.
And then we're happy.
Yeah, I called it BYT.
It's not BYT.
Two mil, bit of tax.
But who is that?
No, it's a subsidiary of BYT.
Oh, right.
So they are related to it.
Right.
They're called Denzer.
There's no amount of money,
but this week's episode is
sponsored by Denzer.
And I'm a big fan of them.
They've got these new
electric cars.
I couldn't say how much.
I heard you arrive
in your New Zonda this morning.
That was a surprise for sure.
I do it for...
Can I guess?
Yeah.
I think you do it for half a
mil.
I think I do it for less than
that.
Really?
Sure, why not?
Really?
What if it was an offer of a
car?
A Denzer.
Yeah.
I take it.
You know, I really love the
offer.
I think you guys are amazing.
I think I have to pursue
different opportunities at this
time.
What's it worth, really?
Yeah.
Okay.
How much to...
Denzer now for the rest of your
life.
Now that...
Wait, hold on.
I couldn't.
I would not.
Just to daily?
Or that's my only car?
You can have one other car.
You can't be seen.
I have to be Batman.
But you know...
That's my thing.
But you know celebs do like
they like...
I'm sponsored by, you know,
like F1 drivers are sponsored
by TAG or whatever.
It's like, oh, you've got to
whack that on.
And they whack them off
at a minute.
I want a little...
I like variety as the spice.
You can have one other
fun car of your choosing.
Obviously...
But at any point, at any time,
I can keep swapping out my second car.
You could have a BOD or a Denzer.
Oh, that's a good one.
No, you know what?
No, you have one...
You can have...
Okay, you can choose one fun car
as well.
But ignore that part.
This is just basically how
much are you taking for this?
I don't know that that's...
Because I don't know...
I don't think there's a price
for you guys because you're too
obsessed with cars.
No, because I'd be like...
Is it...
Indefinitely.
For life.
Or is it like 10 years?
No, indefinitely.
You have one car.
No, I can't do that.
Because if it was like 10 years
and I'm getting like a billion
pounds, then I'd think about it
because I could build my
collection in the back.
Do you know what that is?
That's just doing prison.
Yeah.
That's 10 years of prison there
and you get out and you're like,
I'm free.
It's car arrest.
I'm on Denzer arrest.
Do you get a brand new Denzer?
That's what Daniel Craig's on
right now.
You get a brand new Denzer?
It doesn't look very pleased
about it.
Now, this is what I wanted to
say earlier.
All of the ads I've seen,
he looks angry.
He looks like he's ready to
punch out the lights of the
man who's just gone,
just take a stab in front of
that Denzer please.
Can I have your...
Which is ruining...
You know, it should...
Yeah.
I don't think you should do
that.
Sorry, but can I actually have
your number as his manager?
What?
I don't have a number.
So it's not happening?
I can't do that.
You say no.
For doing it with a lifetime.
Lifetime with one of a car?
Lifetime signing with Denzer.
No other cars are allowed.
Absolutely.
But you could have like a
Mercedes-Benz.
You have to...
No, but I can't use it,
can I?
Why?
I said one of a fun car.
Yeah, no, but I want other
things.
Wow.
Okay.
So maybe the Mercedes-Benz
I want to see other people as well.
That's what I mean.
Variety.
If all you have is from that
to one other car, it will get
tiring after you.
All you've got is a Mercedes-Benz.
It's like just going from
your bedroom to the kitchen
forever.
But with a billion pounds?
No.
But you never go outside.
What do you do with a billion
pounds?
What are you going to do?
Just keep eating.
No, because you can still do
other things.
Also, this kind of argument,
it's a bit lost on Ben.
Ben's already there.
Ben's like, what am I going to
do with another billion pounds?
Why would that make a difference to
me?
Oh, a billion.
Is that it?
Yeah.
Ben's going, have you ever heard
the term drop in the ocean?
This one will, it won't even
make a noise.
My bank won't even notify me
that that's gone in.
They might say we are your bank,
but they won't say a deposit of
a billion pounds.
You'll see it come in and you
go, oh, lovely.
That's my 1% interest.
Oh, interest rates are a little
bit low.
So yeah, Chinese companies just
ruling us out left, right and
center there.
Shout out, Danza.
And James Bond and Volvo and the
baseball cap thing.
Didn't know about that.
Ben, I'm going to read this
verbatim.
Okay.
Quail, quail, quail, quail,
quail, quail, quail, quail,
quail, quail, quail, quail,
quail, quail, quail, quail,
quail, quail, quail, quail,
quail, quail, quail.
Right.
Me and I want a shooting trip,
but I'm blind.
Could you, could you,
could you advance?
So we're going this shit to
Monterey Car Week.
Get out of here.
Another one.
We mentioned this before, but
we're putting more feelers out.
Ben's upset because he did a
media inquiry to the quail.
No, I applied for media passes
for us for the quail.
It's a big event at Monterey
Car Week.
And, you know, we didn't hear
back instantly.
And at the time, local time for
them was 3 a.m.
Yeah.
So I haven't heard back today.
So we're, we would like to
extend anyone who has any access
on anything about anything.
Get us in, please.
Now, this is why I decided to
let this run out.
I'd like to understand
who do you think is watching
this?
I see this.
We got, we say that we went to
McLean.
No, we went somewhere recently.
Yeah.
MTC.
Yeah.
We went somewhere recently.
We went to.
What's that mean?
Where'd you go?
Where did we go?
We went to an exquisite car
selling department.
What does that mean?
The department store for
selling exquisite automobiles.
Enjoy Monterey car.
Famously enjoy Monterey.
We have been visiting there,
visited there once.
And we had a tour and what such.
And we very much enjoyed it.
And much too.
Our surprise,
two or three people that work there
had said,
oh yeah, I listened to the podcast
and watched the channel.
I was stunned to my core that
someone who can deal with what
they deal with every single day
will then come home,
or on their commute to work or
come home and go,
you know what?
Back the cream podcast on.
Let me hear Ben talk about his
billions.
Let's hear about custard and
whatever else they're talking
with beans.
That was in the preamble.
We did talk about custard.
We made.
I got it mixed up with beans.
Didn't I?
Can we just cut in one quick
custard clip in here?
Birds custard.
Birds custard.
Is it birds?
No, birds.
Ambrosia.
Ambrosia.
Ambrosia.
Yeah, that was nice in my ear.
I just want custard now.
It's not really audio friendly.
No.
Why?
It doesn't matter.
Please.
This might be what ends up being
on a Patreon if we do start it.
It'll be a 30-minute ramble
about custard beforehand.
But anyway,
putting custard to one side,
I want to talk about
Monterey car weeks.
We just want,
we don't know who's out there
listening.
But it's worth,
it's worth an ass.
Who do you think is listening?
Best case,
who do you think is listening?
Gordon Murray,
Kristian Von Koenigsegg,
Maté Rimmack.
All together.
We know that they're not.
But what we're hoping for
is that someone close to them
is their partners,
their best friends,
their brothers,
their mothers.
John,
we can provide social media content
as part of the video.
We can also provide entertainment
in the form of jokes.
Yeah.
You haven't seen it here yet,
but just trust we can do that.
Like if,
just, you know,
if the time came,
we'll make a song.
Exactly.
We'll do Kristian Von Koenigseggs
at they,
at Quale.
We just want to go to the Quale
more than anything.
Please.
Okay.
So that's a shout out.
I just want...
I don't think it's a lot to ask.
Because we're not asking.
But we're not asking.
What we're not asking for,
what I'm not saying,
it's not like,
give me a car.
No.
I want you to just let me
into your establishment.
What's three more?
That they charge.
But what is that actually worth?
They're renting the place out.
What's it worth to you?
They're renting it out.
It's not in their place.
It's not worth anything to me.
I'll do like an Instagram post.
For Denzer.
We're not,
we're not going to start any fights.
Hold on.
We're not going to eat all your food.
We're going to be very quiet.
I will.
I am.
Everything is fine.
Hold on.
Hold on.
We're missing.
It's been looking us in the face
the entire time.
Denzer can get us in.
Denzer can get us in.
I don't think they're going to.
I don't think they're going to.
If they can put a giant Daniel Craig behind their car,
they can get us into the quail.
That's true.
Is their marketing budget not now?
Where is the quail?
True.
It's at the Quail.
It's at the Peninsula Hotel.
Is it by the sea?
No.
It's in Como Valley.
You famously drove past it.
Do you remember that?
I don't know.
I thought I was thinking of Purple Beach.
Yep.
No, different.
I was thinking of getting in by boat.
Also.
Or by helicopter.
Also just for people who aren't aware of Monterey,
the sea line is,
it goes up to a road which is public access.
So you'd arrive by boat
just to be on the same road that we were on
without access anyway.
17 miles.
Yeah, exactly that.
Right.
So you'd kind of arrive
and then go,
I'm in it and go,
they go,
no, their line starts here.
But depending on the boat,
if I point it out and go,
I've just come off that boat,
they go, oh,
True.
Yeah.
No, that's true.
If I just go out of a Yukon,
they're probably going,
well, you're probably a tourist, aren't you?
If I had shorts on as well.
Let's go crafty.
How are you, Alan?
I've said it before,
I'm willing to sneak in,
but Ben doesn't want to do it.
I think we go in
and one of those big,
big, long trench coats,
all three of us sound each other.
Also,
that's going to be very long.
Mr. Claytonberg,
love to see.
That would be
18 feet of man.
Sure.
Yeah.
That'd be big.
They'd let us in,
they'd go,
call it,
look at the size of him.
I reckon we could
plug our way in.
I think we could,
but also the same people
who do have the ability,
who are just about
to send off a message,
hearing us go,
I'll sneak in.
Right.
What do you mean by that?
You will sneak in.
On a real one, please.
We will be good.
No, we won't.
We'll be good.
We should behave ourselves.
Like last minute.
We'll behave ourselves.
We'll try to behave ourselves.
Last minute,
if I look through the gates
and I see something
I'm interested in,
are you making a run for it?
I will have to use
some speech skills.
Speech?
You're going to try?
You're going to try
and smooth talk.
All right.
I'm the security guard.
I'm the security guard.
I'd laugh.
Yeah, OK.
OK, so we're together.
We haven't got into the quail.
I'm dead.
I've gone, I'm not sneaking in.
I'm going to go back to...
It's just me and you.
I'm going in.
And we're swimming to the
Pearl Beach.
OK.
I'm going to go back to silliness.
I'm done.
OK.
So you're now on your own
and you see,
but you come on me back to me.
It's just me.
Or you've got to get in.
And you'll dress the part.
You look great.
What time is it?
I go, what time is it?
I go, sorry.
Why are you looking over there?
I'm here.
It's still early.
Was it 9 o'clock at open?
Why is it too scary?
It's 10 o'clock in the morning.
I don't know who he is.
Oh, you don't know who he is.
Your security guy.
I don't know who he is.
It's 10 o'clock in the morning,
so quite early.
You're wearing a lemon.
You're all kitted out.
OK.
Pass.
Sorry, I haven't got a pass.
I forgot my pass.
Incredibly prestigious event.
Hi.
You're English.
You clearly not from here.
Do you do the action?
Oh, hi.
You're English.
You're not from here.
I came all the way.
Sorry.
Why'd you give me attitude there?
That's a bit of a crazy one.
I came all the way here and I've left my pass inside.
You left it inside.
I came out for a smoke with Christian.
Do you know Christian?
Which guy?
No, Christian.
No, Christian and Gordon went out for a seagate.
Who are they?
They made some of the greatest cars the world's ever seen.
OK.
Mr. Koenigsegg and Mr. Murray.
OK.
Tash.
Shirt.
Not a lot of hair.
Another shirt.
That's one guy?
Two guys.
In one shirt?
Don't take the piss out of my friends.
Two guys.
They're friends.
OK.
And your security.
Let's not take the piss there.
All right.
I'm sorry about that, sir.
OK.
Don't take the piss out of my friends.
Side note.
I've got a guilt trip him.
I've got him now.
OK.
Go on.
Go on.
So now he's thinking I've offended his mate.
OK.
I've left my pass in there.
Right.
OK.
Let me get to that.
Well, mate, it's about to do a speech.
Hold on.
You've already been inside.
Right.
Yes.
So where did you leave your pass?
You've already been.
So you know where you went.
In the VIP area.
Where's that?
In the top.
It's all flat.
It's on a golf course, sir.
Yeah.
No, but it is at the top because there's an elevated area.
Like in a bunker?
You wouldn't know.
No, I've only ever been here.
How would you know at the gate?
Yeah.
Idiot.
Gordon and Chris, you can see them walking off.
OK.
Look over there.
OK.
Can you see them?
Yeah.
And I'm in.
Wow.
So you use, but you could have just...
I would use theatricality and deception.
Our powerful agents to the uninitiated.
OK.
Oh, allies.
But you're in at that point.
Yeah, and I'm in.
And then he turned around and go, well, fuck.
Where'd he go?
Oh, fuck yeah.
Anyway, that guy must have left.
Oh, he was going a massive trench coat coming in there.
But it's just you in a really long trench coat.
Yeah.
No, I think we're in.
So please...
The quail organises listening to security.
Anyone...
Absolutely.
Let's ramp up security.
If you do...
And intelligence of security.
Work for the quail.
Sorry.
Can we come in?
Anyway.
Can we come in?
We'll make some content.
We'll have a good time.
We'll be very polite and we'll say please and thank you.
But we will eat every single piece of free food.
Absolutely, yes.
And...
Right.
What do we have next?
What do we have next?
We have, I think, our penultimate.
Yes.
Penultimate.
Before we get to something else, which will happen at the end, we will do a tier list.
We did a tier list, I think, a couple of weeks ago.
It was last week.
We talked about the world's worst drivers.
Yeah.
It was actually a pretty poor list.
Pretty annoyed about how that came out.
But this week...
Game to the game.
We will be speaking about and ranking the worst modifications, I believe.
Visual modifications.
Okay, sure.
So I've gone through and I've made a list of what I think and what I think you think
are the worst visual modifications.
Okay.
Where do stretchy ties and rusted arches come on that?
Let's just...
Let's just...
I'll rust the arches and I'll mod it.
I think it's on there.
I was teasing Ben about what's on his list.
Have you got this?
He went, yeah.
He went, yeah.
And then went...
So visual mods only.
Yes.
So like Pops and Bangs.
I did have Pops and Bangs, but then you decided you wanted visuals.
Pops and Bangs.
Sorry, speak of stage draw.
You decided you wanted visuals.
I flirted at McDonald's earlier and you said...
So they're not...
That could be next week.
It could be next year.
Sure.
We don't know.
I have 13.
Okay, that's not helpful for a top 10, if I'm honest.
Can it be top 13?
So we're looking at top 13.
Why not?
And we are going to...
You're going to give them to us and we will rank them blind.
We'll do 10.
Great.
I'm happy with 13.
All right, we'll do 13.
This is...
This is what TDC is all day, by the way.
This is...
It's just a shout and share.
Top 13 worst modifications, blind ranking.
Yeah, so the way this works, listeners is that if they put in...
If I say Will's mods...
I don't know.
I don't know.
Something.
A mod they don't like and they say, number one, that's my worst mod.
That's locked in.
Nothing can go...
If something worse than that comes up, tough.
Hey, that's the game.
And we'll see where it goes.
Right, number one.
Let's start.
F1 Rainlight.
Tough.
Really not a fan.
Difficult to rate something also.
You've got one through 13 is free.
But realistically, not...
There's going to be some worse ones.
So...
I think it has a mod.
Do you know what I think maybe?
I think this maybe starts at like a six because it's middle of the road.
Then we can gauge the rest of them from worse or better than that.
Seven is like...
It gives us some space.
It's not halfway because we can't actually physically do halfway.
No, because Ben's been stupid list.
Right.
Let's do that then.
Number seven.
Number seven is F1 Rainlight.
Ben, just text the one that's fine, is he?
And our next one...
See it in the list, you big...
Could we get the next one so we can think about it while you message...
Okay.
The next one is going to be wheels, but no lows.
So you're putting artymarket wheels in your car, but you're not lowering it.
You're keeping the standard fitment.
You know what?
It really upsets me.
It upsets me, but I think that you have to identify cause.
And what they mean by it.
Okay.
Could they only afford the wheels at the time being and next month means they're getting those?
That's fine.
It doesn't matter.
Or have you put the wheels on and you go...
That's fine.
You've just seen the car.
You don't know the...
For that reason, I think it's possibly ranks low.
I...
Wait, what?
As in it ranks, it's not that...
It's relatively inoffensive, but it depends on your, you know, intent.
See, to me, I'm...
It's more...
Is it annoying?
More annoying than rain lights?
What if though, you see someone has a delicious set of T37s on their car, but they haven't quite got around to lowering it.
But that's my biggest issue because you were so close.
You had everything and it's kind of let it fall.
But you don't know that.
Next week.
You do not know that.
Next week, lows.
But how do you know that?
But this is the thing.
You're making assumptions here.
And that makes an ass out of me and you.
No, not ass, ass, but sure.
Assume.
Right.
I want to say, I want to go in at five.
Oh, I would have put him below...
I would have put him lower, but I'd be happy to meet you at five.
I think it's harsh on some, but I think there are many that deserve five or more.
Yeah.
Okay.
Next one on the list.
We've got big stance camber.
We're talking where we're going like 10 degrees of camber.
You know what?
This ranks highly for me.
I hear it.
I can't.
I know everyone was saying respect all builds and not all.
If our tastes were all the same, it would be boring.
That looks like ass.
Like a one you are destroying.
Your car drives like us, like actual feces.
The car drives like she eat.
And it looks like ass.
And you're going through tires at a rate of knots.
Just swap them round, mate.
What's cool here?
You got the other inside of the tire.
I don't get it.
Three or four?
Because we've got to leave one and two.
There's going to be something worse.
I could go two.
Should we say three then?
I'd be willing to say three.
If I'm four, then you're two.
Three, but just know if it's you.
I could easily see you at one or two.
Okay.
Me planning little things with my friends.
Especially if it's solid.
If it's not solid.
It's static.
If you think it's no air ride.
Yeah, but it's no air ride.
Why would you do that?
It's like me saying, you know what?
You're an idiot because you walk by bending your knees.
I'm walking straight.
I'm walking straight leg and there's no cut to the left at all.
I'm straight up smashing bone on bone.
Fantastic.
But not because they've had any sort of medical issue.
They've just gone, I think it's cooler.
I think it's cooler.
I think it's better.
All right.
Bent legger.
More like you straight legger.
It's just stupid.
You're a stupid, stupid trend and it needs to do that.
I don't see it very often though.
No.
I won't say that.
Disappearing more and more.
Yeah.
Thankfully, because they can't make it.
They don't make it.
So that's three, Ben.
We've locked in.
Next up, chameleon tint.
Annoying, but not that high up for me.
It's normally joined by other mods.
When I'm thinking about it, it has to hover around the F1 light.
Do you know what?
I'm going to say something.
I think a chameleon tint is an accoutrement.
It's an addition to a bad build anyway.
A whole car can't be made bad by a chameleon tint, if that makes sense.
It's not nice looking, but it's something that adds on to an already terrible car.
You know, a car with a lot of stance plus chameleon tint as a multiplier.
That's a 2x multiplier.
Yeah.
But on his own, just a bit annoying.
Double points.
I'm saying I want to go in at like 10 on that.
8, 9.
Okay.
9.
Let's run that.
Ben, I have no idea what numbers we have left.
I'll tell you now.
This is why 13 was not great.
Well, it's my list.
We've got what?
10 left still.
So we're now into a top 10.
I think we've done like 4 or 5.
No, you've got 9 left.
You've got 4.
So we've got, right now, 1.
Clear.
2.
Clear.
3.
Big stance camber.
We've got 4.
Clear.
5.
Wheels no lows.
6.
Clear.
7.
F1.
Rainlight.
8.
Clear.
Chameleon tint at 9.
And then 10.
11.
12.
13.
Clear.
We've got the top available and the bottom.
Right.
So next up is lows, but no wheels.
It's a grip.
Now, less offensive.
Straightaway.
What do you mean?
So we've lowered the car, but it's on standard wheels.
Standard wheels.
Okay, standard fitment.
Standard wheels.
That's important.
So it's everything but your actual physical coil and spring.
What does that mean?
No, it has coil and spring.
It has coil overs, but nothing else.
Right.
So you can bring it down.
You can't bring it out with a spacer.
Less offensive.
It's an opportunity is missed, but nowhere near as bad as wheels, but without the right
fit.
I think it could look worse.
It can.
Because I think a car that's at standard ride height and is a fitment hasn't been sorted.
It's standard.
It is what it is.
This is somewhat vanilla, but if you decided to lower it.
Now, again, some people will say the driver's among you will say, I have learned the center
of gravity and I fitted a set of racing shock absorbers so I can go around corners faster.
And I have appreciated the fact that adding spaces will ruin my geometry and will mean
I'll be tramlining all over the road.
That will be that.
Those people in some cases, but also it looks like ass.
If you lower it.
A load like your tucking wheel on a standard fitment like sunken wheel with standard, you
know, wheels, then it's not then it's then that's quite offensive.
But on the on the most part, it's I think it's less offensive than wheels without suspension.
I'd like to go in at like 11 or 12.
11.
Okay.
Lovely.
Next up, tinted lights.
It could be front or rear.
Just any kind of tinted light.
They really, they really do upset me.
I'll be honest.
They are very really odd.
Is that some manufacturers have a sort of smoked light and I don't mind it, but they, but there's
something.
It's like it's like aftermarket window tint where you can see the bubbles.
You can see that it's a film.
It's not like having a tinted glass where you can see that that was glass designed to
be tinted.
It is a tinted glass.
But like tinted lights, aftermarket tinted lights are the whole unit is dark.
It just works less.
It just doesn't, you don't, it's not doing anything anymore.
You just now have a black box on the back of your car that glows red vaguely.
There's no point in this.
What you're doing, you've just taken away any design language that they built into the
light.
You've taken away functionality of the light.
You've made it worse.
What's the point in this?
Especially bad when it's a really dark tin and you've basically made the light black.
Yeah.
Where you then have a car that is hasn't as yet to be unlocked.
That I don't understand.
People go for that like full blacked out effect.
And you've again, you can't see anything either.
Ah, choppers, whoppers.
What have we got like around six?
We got anything around there?
Seven is seven three.
We've got no seven has F1 rain light, five wheels, no lows.
Six is free.
Six is free.
Six feels it's in the same sort of area as an F1 rain light, but it's almost more idiotic.
Yeah.
So perhaps six.
I think six is nice.
Okay.
Next up.
Sticker slogans.
So when someone puts some stupid, what is it?
The classic sports mind?
The cars roll everything around me.
Yeah.
Clowns.
That's a stupid slogan.
That's pretty cool.
Good branding really, I think.
It will be available soon.
It's a good, it's a good one.
They are almost never.
And when I say almost, I mean certainly always never funny.
No.
They're, especially if it's like a, if it's a sarcastic one, that PD inside am I right?
Okay.
That's nice.
I think it might need to go near the like lower end.
Yeah.
It's somewhat harmless.
I'm not a sticker man.
No.
I don't like stickers.
On the low end, you have eight, 10, 12 and 13.
Oh, maybe 12.
12.
What's at 11?
What's the loads?
No, we need to know what's around it.
I think it's less offensive.
Is it?
Because it is just a sticker.
It's somewhat reversible.
It's also, it depends.
I have fitted one actual sticker that had slogan on.
And what was it?
And it was on my fiesta.
I hated them then and I came across it and I thought, that's funny.
It wasn't.
It said, how is my driving?
Let my mum know.
She worries.
And that was on the back of my fiesta.
It was the only sticker I had on that car.
What about the one on the fiesta that was a baby on board?
Brackets me.
I'm crying.
Ah, yes.
The famous.
Yes.
That was good.
So it's stuff like that.
That, if that don't, let's not do that.
Okay.
12.
That is in at 12.
12.
Next up on our list, we have got quilted interior mats.
Oh, that's a tough one.
That's not what you have available.
What we got near that point.
We've got 12.
What's in the top three?
You've got 12, 4, 8, 10 and 13.
It's feeling full for me.
It is feeling full.
It doesn't feel, I'm not hating it enough to be at one or two.
No, but it's four.
We've had a car recently come in.
You'll see.
It's a car that has got that.
But every time I see it, it makes me shudder.
It makes me want to start swinging.
I'll be honest.
I'm burning it.
And it's probably, it's probably worth some money because of the car it's in.
It's probably quite sought after.
I'm burning it.
I'm setting it on fire.
It's never, it's always deemed as a like it's custom upholstery.
It's just a mat shoved in a car and you can still see the edges.
You can see where it ends.
You can see where it folds and it moves around.
It's never, ever good.
I'm going to extend myself.
What does that mean then?
I believe, I used to like it.
I believe all nearly all diamond quilting in any form of car interior,
whether it's from a manufacturer or not is bad.
I would agree.
If not for?
If not for Bentley.
No, because it's bad.
That's, that's, I used to think the same.
But in an early continental, but like there's some of the continentals
where it's just a little bit more subtle.
I don't mind it.
I hate it.
I used to love it.
I used to diamond stitching.
Used to be like a Lamborghini stitching here and makes me want to bomb it.
Diamond stitching is a cheap nightclub.
It's, it's, it's horrible.
It's nasty.
What's the headboard mean?
What's that then?
The buttons in the headboard.
Oh, a chest of field.
I'm not a chest of field.
I've got, I've got that.
A crushed velvet.
Oh, that's what that is.
It's crushed velvet and neons on my, not white LEDs on my house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that's in at where?
This is a cream podcast, the judging episode four.
I'd say four is a solid.
You could easily be higher because again,
your property, you are harboring enemies of the state.
Other, other mods.
You're going to get very upset on your car.
Painter break drums.
It's tough.
You know what is tough, but it's not that offensive because I thought you'd have
more intense reactions to that.
Do you know what is?
Okay.
Sometimes they're really bad when they're red.
Like, come on, man.
What are you doing?
But do you know what a painted break drum is a sign of a novice?
Oh, hold on though.
It has to be like a color.
It can't be black.
No, no, no.
I know.
I'm saying it's the sign of someone who hasn't yet understood the goal.
If that makes sense.
It's a first mod.
It's something you do without knowing.
You haven't got budget.
Why it makes sense.
You just, someone goes, yeah.
Breakhouse.
You go, I'll make my break for it then.
So it's, you know what it is?
It's a little bit innocent.
Yeah.
There's no older choppers doing this.
Who's going?
If there aren't, it's bad, but it's unlikely.
It's unlikely.
I will, I will let mature.
I'd let it off lightly.
What have we got on the?
I put it at the.
Is it 13?
I'll let it prop the table up.
Wow.
You're eight, 10 and 13.
I think 13 feels right.
I thought you'd have a much more intense rest.
It's not great to see.
It doesn't fill me with rage.
No.
I'm seeing a quilted floor mat.
Okay.
Next one.
Stretched tires.
Again, it kind of.
It's entwined with the stance geeks.
But, but then you've got, do you know what?
I'm, let's all be honest here.
Let's all have, you know, Ben's smile.
I could see it.
It actually upsets me more on your car than it does on a stance car.
Because on a stance car, it has a function.
The function is to get the widest possible wheels and then stretch your tires in.
So it still fits under the arch.
But when you have a car that is at a height that it could have chunky tires, it's worse.
Who would do that?
But yours was not done out of, out of.
Fenham.
Out of.
Deliberosity.
No.
It was a necessity.
It was done out of, oh, these are actually quite stretched tires.
And I didn't mean that.
And I will, I will be changing it.
Exactly.
Because it upsets me great.
Now this is going to go against everything I said about stance cars.
But there is a level.
There is a, there is a point you pass.
Perhaps it's a camber setting.
Perhaps there is a, there is a degree at which we go past and I go, no.
Seven and a half thousand.
I have no interest.
Seven and a half degrees, possibly.
But where, you know, when someone, especially if it's on air or even maybe if it is static
and it sits just right on the wheel and it's stretched, I can get, you know what?
A level of craftsmanship or time and effort and research and attempting things has gone
into this.
So I can appreciate it.
I would never do it to my car because I don't understand why.
I don't understand why.
But I can say that someone has, someone didn't just buy the wheels and put them on the car.
I didn't just buy wheels and buy suspension and put them on the car.
There was some work that had to go into it.
So I can understand that.
But stretch tires, also some stretch tires are just dumb.
Yeah, they really are bad.
When you see some tire shops like, well, people trying to fit them with a time machine.
Wow.
Well, we were.
Ben, what have you got left?
One, four, eight, ten.
Hold on.
One, two, eight, ten.
One, two, eight, ten.
One, two, eight, ten.
I think it's somewhere in reality between two and eight.
But we can't do that famously.
So I think we go eight.
Eight's fine by me.
So we've got one, two and ten left.
One, two, one, two and ten remaining.
It's tough on.
What could come next?
We're going to have a carbon fiber.
You know what?
It's, I don't know if it can be one for me.
But two, it could be.
It could also be ten.
Because it also feels like that it's, I can't afford it.
My budget's low, but I like carbon.
So I'm going to make that mistake at a young age.
It's also true.
It's trying because it could be tasteful design.
Yeah, true.
Now, I don't know what you've got to come.
Also, there are levels to fake carbon.
Because there are ones like we took off the M140i,
which have the weave is literally, it's all over the shop.
And there are ones that just kind of look vaguely like actual carbon,
but aren't.
Now, when you say fake carbon, are we putting wrap in there?
That would count.
Yeah, that's bad.
Because I've done it.
You do, yeah.
But I'd never do it again.
But as a younger man, as a young job, I went,
well, I've got trims in my car, haven't I?
So I've got carbon.
I have to wrap them in carbon, won't I?
It's also, it's not.
If you've put, I would, I'm not, I can't say anything.
Because it's not, I'm the judge here.
Of course, yeah.
But if I was to advise you, I would personally say that if you're going to,
No, no, no, you can't do this.
You can't do this.
You can't do this.
If you're going to say, no, you have to let us make our mistakes, Ben.
Lay land, lay land.
But you were talking about people like painted brake drums is being like a novice mistake.
Of course.
You put in that low, then this will be low as well.
One, two and 10.
It's a big gamble.
I'm willing to do it if you want to do it.
Lock it in 10, Ben.
On it.
So one and two.
We have to hope that these are some ruffians.
Remaining final two.
What?
Fake vents.
It's a good, it's tough.
That's quite tough.
I'm quite happy with that.
It does feel similar to the carbon thing.
But it is, I've never felt the need to do it.
Vents are events.
So you are choosing that there's no, there's no innocence in that.
Yeah.
There are.
I want to make this look bad.
I'm making a judgment.
Yeah.
I am making the judge.
I'm seeing that.
Do you know what?
Sometimes maybe it's a Ford thing or a Vauxhall thing where like you actually cut it into
the bonnet and you, you are doing it for function.
You're doing it because everyone else is doing it and because you think it looks cool.
If you have just stuck it on.
Yeah.
Full stick on.
It's tough.
In the interests of, I think this is possibly exactly how the last list went is that we
left one till very last.
Tough.
Perhaps on the next one, we'll just pick one first.
No, no.
Straight away, whatever it is.
So are we locking in at two?
I think, you know, we can only, we can only find out.
Oh, we put that one at one.
All right, let's do it.
And we live with regret.
Let's let the game.
Fake vents.
The number one worst modification you could ever make.
And do you know what?
If someone said that to me, I'd go, yeah, potentially.
That could be potentially bad.
That means the final one that you didn't know about.
What is it?
Wind deflectors.
Now, you know what?
Now, here's the thing.
Now, here's the thing.
I think this is played out perfectly because for me, it could be one, but realistically,
most people actually, the majority of people quite like them for some reason.
You've had wind deflectors.
So I think it's perfect that this fits too.
It's not the worst, but in our, in our company, it's bad.
Less offensive than a fake vent.
Yeah.
I'm still making some judgment, but I'll go, do you know what?
I've been there.
I love, I, I, I hate them with just such all my heart and soul.
I think people's argument is that, and I can kind of get it from using them that you
can have the window open when it's ever so slightly raining.
Yeah.
You can do that anyway.
Here's something for you.
Don't do that.
Have your window closed when it's raining.
Have your heating system in your car work so that you do not need your window open when
it is raining.
Do you in your house open your windows when it's raining?
Do you, do you just open the lid to your bin so it just gets wet in there?
What are you doing?
Don't do that.
Stop doing that.
And it looks.
Shit.
So your final list is this.
Yeah.
Number 13.
Painted brake drums.
Fair.
Number 12.
Sticker slogans.
Hmm.
Number 11.
Lows with no wheels.
10.
Fake carbon fiber.
9.
Chameleon tint.
8.
Stretched tires.
7.
F1.
Rainlight.
6.
Tinted lights.
5.
No lows.
4.
Quilted mats.
3.
Big stance camber.
And 2.
Wind deflectors.
And finally one.
Fake vents.
I think wheels without loads and loads out wheels could probably be closer together.
Yeah.
I think they're a little bit too far either end of the spectrum, but I'm pretty happy with
that.
I'm pretty happy.
I'm pretty proud of you guys.
It was better than the last one.
Yes.
It was more well thought out.
Because we had to do it.
We had to do it.
We had to do it.
Sure.
Mainly because Ben came up with that list.
But I will say Ben.
Good list.
Thanks.
Good stuff, Ben.
And it's really lovely to know that you came up with that completely on your own.
Despite asking us 15 times if we could please tell you which ones.
Anyway, so what's the week?
Let's end with a want of the week.
Will, Will.
What's yours?
What's my want?
Is it?
I got...
There's one...
Everyone knows what that one is.
What is it?
I need to talk about that.
What is it?
It's...
It's the...
It's the...
That is how you say it.
But other than that...
He obviously...
159's in there.
But do you know what?
A 159 with a twist.
A 159 that doesn't exist.
I want...
I want the 159 that should have always been.
She's a V6 or a V8?
Yeah, V8 would be cool.
A 159 with a Maserati V8 would really tickle my pickle.
It really would be stupendous.
DCT?
I'd be happy to have like a gated manual.
Would be stupendous or...
If we cut...
If we were to cut the floor pan of a like a Quattroporte or a Gran Turismo might be closer
and then put the body of a 159 over it.
Oh, okay.
Choked thinking about that.
We need to have a Gran Turismo though.
And a Quattroporte.
We don't have that.
We don't have that.
And a 159 as well.
We don't have that.
We don't have one of those.
Any of those, do we?
No, no.
159.
But also still lingering in the background because I'm still in Carl Limbaugh at the
moment is Mark 1 RS's.
Lovely.
Any other form of Ford?
I went towards this this morning when I was on the way into the unit.
I was following a...
I don't know what the blue is.
A blue.
Imperial blue.
The darker blue.
Yep.
Focus RS.
But I'm Mark 2.
Mark 2.
I was like...
I'd drive in and I was like, that's Will.
Will's bought a new daily and then the guy was going so slow.
I thought, that's not Will.
You thought I'd just bought a car?
He's doing 70 miles.
Yeah, he's doing 70 in a 60.
I thought that's way too slow.
I thought it was you.
I thought you just bought yourself a new daily.
But no, a Ford of some variety.
Still the little like an escort or something.
And also a car would be lovely.
And also perhaps him.
Well, he would say...
Again, he exists always.
I can't ever...
One day it will be here.
Maybe.
One day.
Well.
Oh.
Ben's bought a Mercedes-Benz.
I bought a Mercedes-Benz.
No.
I had a very enlightening experience at Supercar Driver last week.
Attracted to Edwin.
And I have decided something.
Yes.
I think we did talk about this last episode.
No, we didn't.
We were going to come back to it.
We didn't come back to it.
Oh, okay, okay.
I told you we were getting too off topic.
Retention, isn't it?
Yes.
Retention for a week.
Come on.
Next week.
My dream car has changed.
Okay.
So it's no longer...
Don't change.
Not changed.
It doesn't work like that.
It's...
This is the dream car of a man who doesn't dream.
It's been...
It's true.
It's been confirmed.
Okay.
I've decided.
Who confirmed it?
Is it like a third party source?
Me and Edwin had actually a very helpful conversation.
Okay.
I've been thinking about it.
I've been telling a lot of people.
So now it is...
I have, actually.
Just random people in there.
So what conversation did we have?
Can you...
I said to you...
Because you pitched it better than I did.
I said, wait, hold on.
I might need to think about this.
We were discussing.
Edwin said to me, basically, my dream car, or my car, would be a manual.
Oh, that's it.
I remembered it.
Aston Martin V12 Antige.
Yeah.
And I said to Ben, you buy your Aston Martin V12.
You get the money for it.
You get it together.
But you realize at this point in your life, that's it.
You've now got other commitments.
You're probably going to be buying a house.
You've got kids or what sort of stuff.
You know, the billions have gone.
They've been taken by the government and by ULEZ cameras.
Not happening.
I'll wait again.
So the V12 Antige is the last big car you're ever going to buy.
Which would be good.
Not to be ungrateful, but that would be what you would end on.
Yes.
Would there be a part of you that was disappointed that you didn't make it onto an event at all?
Yes.
And you were upset?
I was upset.
I thought about it and it hit me when you said that.
I then said, now you've got an event at all.
It's the final big purchase you ever make.
Could you die knowing that that was the last big car you had?
Absolutely.
And there it is.
So that's it.
Because the V12 Antige comes in with the thing I want to do with the tunnel.
And I want to wear a suit.
I don't know why.
I just want to do that.
The suit would be cool.
But when you see one, when you see a V12 Antige, does it make you...
It does.
Does it make you feel like a very small boy?
No.
It makes me feel excited.
OK.
But...
In a grown-up way.
Yes.
It makes you go bloody hell.
That's nuts.
Oh, lovely car.
A frightful amount of road tax on that.
I'd certainly buy one of those if I had the money.
No.
But the event still makes me...
It makes me feel like a giggly little guy again.
There it is.
And I thought...
And at that moment I was like, you know what?
That is the guy.
And it's been...
It was the first car I ever liked.
It's the car that I will always stare at.
There was one at Food and Fuel last year.
And I just couldn't stop looking at it.
Shout out Tom.
Shout out horsepower hunters.
And so I've decided that's my one of the life.
Heard?
Heard.
So...
Can I get an age, please?
30.
Just in general.
No, no, no.
Come on.
There'll be...
There'll be on the depreciation curve, possibly.
I think buy 35.
I'd like one.
35.
It gives me 11 years.
The big A.
The big A.
The big A.
And it's going to be...
There are two specs.
Well, this was the...
I think the way that you know that it's real is that I said to Ben,
what if it was a normal event at all?
Would you care if it was not an SV?
And he went, no.
I said, what if it was an SV?
And it wasn't an SVJ?
And he went, I don't care.
I would like an SVJ.
Of course.
Of course.
But actually, an LP700, the early boys.
Or a white one.
A white one?
White one.
That is not what I was expecting.
A white one with roadster wheels.
I saw one with very subtle yellow calipers.
I've seen that.
And I thought, that is great.
Or I would actually like, if it was a roadster,
a...
You know the orange spec?
The roadster...
Which isn't very Lamborghini.
It's a little...
It's like a Metallicy Blue.
It's like a Metallicy Blue.
With the beigey cream interior.
Which isn't very Lamborghini.
It's not very loud, but I like that.
No, but it is very Lamborghini.
Lamborghini?
Okay.
It's very Lamborghini roadster.
So there's your...
That's early, early event at all.
But that's got...
But that's got the...
I will say, I know that the SV, the SVJ,
they're going to be worth more money.
They're more special, they're faster, they're more power.
But I actually think the shape without wing,
that Aventador silhouette, as it sits.
Like, look at that.
That's...
Without a wing to it.
That's the spec.
I think it interrupts...
Agreed.
That shape is...
Wow.
It is very nice.
You know what?
And I was not...
I was not always a Lamborghini man.
Well, I was never a Lamborghini man other than the Murcielago.
The Murcielago for me was the one exception to me.
But I remember when the Aventador came out,
I had a wallpaper of a Viola Aphelia Aventador for a long time.
Early one, just a 700.
And the shape of it is unmatched.
I think they will be worth one day a lot and a lot of money.
Because Murcielago is special to quite a small demographic of people.
And they're now quite in.
They're quite influencer to be like,
oh, I love the Murcielago.
But everyone loves an Aventador.
But this is the last non-hybrid V12.
Obviously, it's not manual,
which is why the Murcielago is special.
But these, because it is non-hybrid,
it's like the last real kind of big V12 Lamborghini.
It's just that...
There are older ones that I think are better.
Sorry, this was your first house.
Well, it's a 200 pixel thing.
But look at that.
That is cool.
That's such a good colour.
I've sent you on the cream podcast chat on Slack.
It's a real...
I saw the other day, I liked it.
I don't know who made it.
Sorry, I can't give you a credit.
But...
Just do it.
It's a good screenshot of it, which I've just sent to you.
If I had a number one, it's this spec.
If I had a roadster, it's the spec you just saw.
And if you're listening,
Aventador in two different colours.
That is quite special.
Those wheels changed again.
They really do.
Also, I'm not a big fan of coloured calipers,
but yellow calipers on that, that's big for me.
You are on that UAE spec.
You're on that device.
I don't care.
That's fantastic.
You need to get a white Aventador.
Unfortunately, what comes with it is a red interior.
And that's happening.
You don't get a choice in that matter.
It's coming with tints all around.
I might have a roadster in the silver, blue with the tan interior.
It's one of the few times I will accept.
It's not really convertible to be fair,
but something where the roof comes off, I will accept it.
We agreed it's a target.
It's a little thin section of roof that comes off
between your front windscreen and your rear.
And do you know what?
It's not fulfilling the wind in your hair.
Was that?
It's for the noise.
It's for the sounds.
That with big...
But you are also...
You want the high pitch, the Gintani spec.
But it can be done.
It can be done.
I like the...
It can be done.
For the possible.
I was doing research the other night.
I was trying to find out what...
For your event at all.
You know every SVJ has the flames.
I'm not talking like a pop in a bang.
We're talking like it spits a fireball for three seconds.
I found out what that is.
I can't remember the name of it.
But I did find it.
I saved it on my phone.
You know what?
This is why you come to the cream podcast.
Because we might have information.
I've done some research.
And what that was is...
It's beyond me.
But there's many ways you can do it.
But there is like one kit everyone has.
Which is the one you always saw on Instagram.
With them flying past.
Yes.
And I can't remember it now.
Which is great.
Well, Gintani?
No, it's not Gintani.
It's a different brand.
But it's something to do with...
It gets rid of the valve.
So it has...
Oh, Valtronic?
No.
Because they have valves from factory.
But part of it...
The reason it flames so easily is because when you put like a Gintani on it...
Effectively, when you go and course them on the track mode, it opens the valves.
Like all the time.
So when you put these exhausts on, they delete the valves.
And then you are basically in normal driving mode.
But it always has coarser exhausts.
So you get a lot of heat in there.
So I can't remember what the kit is called.
But it's like 20 grand.
I don't know why I'm looking at it.
So you've got that on order.
Go on order.
Ready for the...
I don't understand the values of exhausts on Supercars.
It's funny.
It's like...
Maybe they are slightly more advanced because there's more to get around.
But it's always less pipe.
Yeah, there's less pipe.
But it's always like...
We were at an unknown place recently and they were talking about...
I think it was F50 exhaust.
In F50 exhaust.
Yeah, an F50 exhaust, like a standard one.
You're talking in excess of 50...
50,000 pounds.
He said...
This guy managed to nab this Tubi exhaust for either 17 or 27,000 dollars.
And he was like, it's an amazing deal he got on that.
That's crazy.
Sorry, why are we not just cutting back boxes out of things?
I also...
I looked...
I can't remember the name of the brand is, but the one that I found when they have on
the website just a photo of the whole exhaust, it's like three feet of just pipe.
Yeah.
In like a relatively...
Rich can dirt.
Rich can dirt.
Trust what I mean.
I'm like, should he just take it and drop the Aventador off at Rich?
It's an interesting video.
Yeah.
See if you can recreate it.
We just need someone Aventador who's willing to let it be chopped up.
Also, if SVJ exhaust is higher...
Slightly.
Possibly it's slightly shorter.
I don't know.
Possibly.
It's a bit like our 600 LT.
They literally have.
The amount of pipe they have is very small.
Well, say massive really.
I haven't seen...
It's the ones that are spit.
You can get flames from Aventador quite easily.
It's bits of flame, but I'm talking like it's bits of...
It's three second long, almost flaming kit spec.
I like the flames where it's not like a liftoff flame.
It's when you're on the throttle.
Yeah.
It is a...
It does need for speed, nitrous spec flame.
Which you can get from...
Aventador as well.
And it's just...
Again, people will say that you're childish.
But if a car shoots flame organically,
and it doesn't have a spark plug in it or something,
I'm about it.
I'm hearing it.
I like what you're doing.
I love your work.
If you can get...
So it's the SVJ and the Aventador Ultimate,
whoever is the final one,
both have that mid-mounted exhaust on the rear.
And only those ones do the big, big flames.
But the rest, you get a flame from quite easily.
The one you're talking about,
where you just accelerate and it goes,
you can get from a normal Aventador.
Yeah.
Just normal Aventador going hard.
There is a...
I have a video of one doing the classic.
Why is that called?
Flames.
Yeah.
Why is that?
Just to...
I find it funny because imagine,
like a regular person seeing that come past you.
You'd think that...
The video you showed me the other day,
which was literally a 97-foot flame
coming out of the back of the Aventador.
If you were Doris going down the road,
you would have heart failure.
It's a dude.
People have probably seen it
because it's got millions of views.
But it's a guy who pulls up in a tunnel alongside
and lifts off for at the same time
and it just goes...
Well, it just stops.
We were saying,
imagine just being on your way to work
and seeing that mental.
I mean, it's like a badge of honour.
Anyone who's had a car that can shoot a flame,
you then...
You reach a new level in your own life
where you go,
I have had a car or now own a car
that can shoot a flame basically on demand.
And I figured out how to do it.
And it doesn't matter how shit the car is.
Yeah.
If it spits flames,
you'll call them the person that doesn't spit flames.
This is the classic video which is Pog
with the early car,
just doing ultimate...
Like that's fighter jet.
That's going to outer space.
A car accelerating with blue flames
firing out the exhaust.
There has to be some sort of psychological reason
why that's cool to everyone.
The only thing of the Leventador,
it's not related to the exhaust,
is it doesn't have that...
It doesn't have the wing thing.
The bad wings.
They have it,
but they don't...
I think they missed out on that.
Yeah.
Because that was an unbelievable design thing
on the Mercedes-Benz Leventador.
It was like,
there's a couple of flaps.
A couple of flaps that you won't really notice as much.
Whereas the Mercedes-Benz Leventador was like,
when they're up,
we're out here.
I'm angry out here.
Will knows about this,
but my one to the week might be happening.
Ooh!
What is it, Ben?
What's my one to the week?
It's always happening.
Is it a Ferrari?
No.
No, not that.
That's a plume of pants.
No, no, no, no, no.
What's the other one of the week?
The one that he's beat,
he's come and gone,
but he's always there.
He's from England.
He's in English,
which is rough,
because I've already bought a TVR,
which means two English cars,
not a good way to...
You're going...
What do you like?
Ben, come on now.
What's the car that suits me
more than any other car on Earth?
Ben's going Volkswagen Beetle.
What car is it?
Ben, you know this.
What car?
English?
Yeah.
Oh, a range of a classic.
Is it happening?
A perfect spec one has come up for sale
just a few minutes away
from my mate Will of Estee's Customs,
who is a Land Rover and Ranger of a Specialist.
He is going tomorrow morning
to have a look at it.
So, we will find out.
It's probably going to be a rule
next week if it's not happening.
You didn't tell me this.
No, it happened on the weekend.
Wow.
So, he's going to have a look
at it tomorrow.
And if it's good.
We can't trust Edwin anymore.
No, I'm doing all sorts of sneaky stuff.
He's going to come in next week.
But it is...
I love a Denzer.
There you go.
I'm...
The name's...
Klingenberg.
It is a black, hard dash,
so not the soft dash,
on factory air suspension,
which is quite rare and quite sort of.
Could be tough.
No, no.
It's pretty simple that system.
And black interior with a bit of a project.
So, I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
That's my one.
Will I get to work challenge?
Yeah, I'm too enamoured by the TVR
to want anything else at the moment.
So, that's the only thing I was thinking of.
Woke up Saturday morning,
bang, Facebook Marketplace,
first screal of the...
Scroll of the morning.
Screal!
And there it was.
So...
Wow.
Exciting.
I think we're getting a little bit delirious.
We're going to choose this moment to wrap up.
Ben's scared,
because the camera's going to turn off.
Thank you very much for listening to this episode
of the Cream Podcast.
We will see you next week with updates galore.
Oh, yes.
Cream.
And then...
Ben's buying an event tool.
A vent.
That's right.
A door.
About this episode
The crew kicks off with garage updates: an S2000 gets sold quickly (and Ben’s “storage unit” plans are teased), the Range Rover’s looming demise is discussed, and a daily search turns into an Alfa Romeo 159 debate—plus CarVertical checks for avoiding hidden problems. The main segment ranks the worst visual mods, landing on fake vents as the #1 offender and wind deflectors near the bottom. They also cover BMW wagon racing news, a UK-made E46 M3 touring, and a wild BYD/Denza James Bond ad featuring a LiDAR “taxi light” scanner. Monterey Car Week access is the final scramble.
Original notes
⚪️ Get 20% off your next Car Vertical check using code CREAM 👉 https://www.carvertical.com/gb/landing/v3?utm_source=infl&a=TDC&b=38b26e3a&voucher=cream20🍦 Follow C.R.E.A.M. socials!https://www.instagram.com/carsruleeverything/Edwin: https://www.instagram.com/edwin.klinkenberg/Will: https://www.instagram.com/willchandlr/ 📬 Enquiries: [email protected]
C.R.E.A.M. (The TDC Podcast)
Cars Rule Ltd
0:00
84:26