C.R.E.A.M. (The TDC Podcast) Apr 9, 2026

C.R.E.A.M. #77 - Ranking The Worst Car Mods, BYD Bond and Quail

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84:26

Term

starter motor issue

The starter motor is what you rely on to get the engine going when you turn the key. Here, they’re saying it’s not a starting problem, so whatever’s wrong is probably different.

Car

Honda S2000

The Honda S2000 is a two-seat sports car (a roadster) made by Honda. It’s known for feeling quick and fun to drive. The podcast is talking about buying one and then storing it for a while.

Concept

dailies

“Dailies” is enthusiast slang for cars that are used regularly as everyday transportation. People often compare dailies versus dedicated weekend/fun cars based on cost, reliability, and comfort.

Car

Ford Focus

The Ford Focus is a compact car that’s often bought for practicality and value. The speaker lists it among cars that are economical and easy/cheap to maintain, even if they personally don’t want one.

Car

Volkswagen Golf

The Volkswagen Golf is a popular small car, often picked because it’s practical and not too expensive to keep on the road.

Car

Ford Fiesta

The Ford Fiesta is a small, everyday Ford. The point here is that it’s usually cheaper to own than flashier cars.

Car

Alfa Romeo 159

The Alfa Romeo 159 is a stylish Alfa sedan that people either love or hate. Here it’s mentioned because it feels more “special” than the boring-but-practical cars.

Company

CarVertical

CarVertical is a website/app you can use to look up a car’s history before you buy it. It can help you spot red flags without having to inspect the car first.

Term

A V6 is an engine with six cylinders. It’s often associated with smoother power and a more exciting driving feel than smaller engines. The speaker is using it to describe why the car felt cool at the time.

Company

Vauxhall

Vauxhall is a car brand. Here, they’re saying the car uses Vauxhall-made engine and gearbox parts, and that the gearbox is the weak link.

Term

gearbox

The gearbox is what helps the car shift gears and deliver power. They’re saying this part is the biggest problem area on the car they’re discussing.

Term

two-litre diesel

This means a diesel engine that’s about 2.0 liters in size. They’re implying that this specific engine option is preferable compared to other versions.

Term

Rosso

“Rosso” just means “red” in Italian. They’re talking about different red paint colors and which ones they prefer.

Term

150,000 mile car

Mileage is how many miles a car has been driven. The speaker is saying that because it already has 150,000 miles, the car’s condition is already expected to show wear.

Car

2010 BMW 535i

That’s a BMW 5 Series from 2010, specifically the 535i. The details the host mentions next (engine and drivetrain) help explain what kind of car it really is.

Concept

low-mileage used-car pricing

They’re talking about how fewer miles usually makes a used car cost more. But they’re also questioning whether 50,000 miles is actually low enough to justify the price.

Brand

Facebook Marketplace

Facebook Marketplace is where people sell things locally, including cars. It can be a good place to find deals, but you still have to verify the car carefully.

Term

rear wing

A rear wing is the spoiler on the back of the car. It’s there to push the car down onto the road so it sticks better at speed, but on some cars it can look ridiculous.

Concept

show car

A “show car” is a car that’s built to look amazing, usually for car shows. It’s often about the styling details more than everyday comfort.

Brand

Alpina

Alpina is a German tuner that modifies BMWs (and historically other models) with performance upgrades and luxury touches. The speaker’s wish for “Alpina 18s” and an “Alpina front lip” suggests a more cohesive, factory-like styling and engineering approach rather than a random aftermarket look.

Concept

photoshopped

Photoshopped means the image has been digitally altered—often to place a person or object into a scene that wasn’t originally there. In car marketing, this can be used to create hype, but it can also backfire if the edit looks obvious.

Part

LiDAR scanner

LiDAR is a sensor that shoots laser beams out and measures how far away things are. It helps the car “see” the world in 3D so safety systems can react faster.

Term

electric cars

Electric cars run on electricity from a battery instead of gasoline. People sometimes argue about them versus gas supercars, especially when talking about sound, feel, and overall “fun.”

Brand

F1 drivers

“F1” is Formula 1, the highest level of racing. Saying you’re sponsored by F1 drivers usually means you’re getting paid or supported because of racing fame, not because of a specific car part.

Concept

Monterey Car Week

Monterey Car Week is a big car festival in California. Lots of rare cars show up, and journalists and photographers often need special passes to cover it.

Term

coil overs

Coilovers are suspension parts that let you lower the car and adjust how firm it feels. They replace the usual spring/shock setup with one combined unit.

Term

sticker slogans

This is just talking about decals—stickers with phrases on a car. Some people think they look cheesy or messy, especially if they’re not funny or they’re trying too hard.

Term

baby on board

“Baby on board” is a sticker people put on their car to tell other drivers there’s a baby inside. Some folks think it looks cheesy, which is why it comes up in a “worst mods” discussion.

Term

diamond quilting

Diamond quilting is when the seat or interior is stitched in a repeating diamond pattern. The host thinks this style almost always ends up looking bad in a car interior.

Term

painted brake drums

Some people paint the brake drums so they look nicer. But it’s often seen as a “newbie” mod because brakes are safety parts, and you should prioritize correct maintenance over cosmetics.

Term

wheel arch

The wheel arch is the part of the car body that surrounds the tire. People lower cars and fit wider wheels, and then they have to make sure the tire doesn’t hit that bodywork.

Term

wrap

Here, “wrap” is a sticker-like film you put on parts to make them look like carbon fiber. It can look good at first, but it can look obviously fake if it’s not applied or chosen well.

LIVE

You're an idiot because you walk by bending your knees.

I'm walking straight, I'm walking straight leg and there's no cut to the left at all.

We're not, we're not going to start any fights.

We're not going to eat all your food.

We're going to be very quiet.

I will.

I am.

I'm going to eat everything that's fine.

Quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail,

quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail.

Hello and welcome back to the 77th podcast episode of Cars Roll Everything Around Me.

You thought I was going to trip, but I didn't.

I stumbled with myself, Edwin, William to my left and Benjamin behind the behind.

At the beginning of every podcast, we answer the question to Cars Rule

or Ruin Everything Around Us This Week, William.

Ah, a mixed bag I have for thee.

We know something that you guys don't, and you're not allowed to know yet.

One car I can confirm has been sold, and that is very sadly the yellow clio.

Can't believe it.

It was here for a day.

It was, yes.

It was here for one day.

We went out to lunch once.

I took it home once, and that was it.

I'm a little bit sad, but it's for a greater good overall.

And I thought, you know what?

I'm not really getting any use out of it at the moment.

It's currently with John at Cormoran, and he caught wind of the fact that I might sell.

And he said, would you like to sell that to me?

He said, how much that?

Yeah, and then that sort of accent.

And I sold to him for what I think was quite a good price.

He's helped me out quite a bit with that car, and he now knows that car quite well.

Almost too well now.

It's kind of been the bane of his life, but now it is his car.

It all happened quite quickly, actually.

It was like Friday evening or Saturday, and basically it was sold by Sunday.

Can't believe it.

And the car's still with him.

It's a very weird sale, because it was like, it wasn't with me.

He said, I have the car.

Can I buy it?

Yes, you can buy it.

You have no closure.

No.

You never got to say goodbye.

No, crazy.

But do you know what?

I went for a good old drive in it, used it a fair bit, and that's it.

But also got it back on the road and running, and now it works as it should.

It's done a few hundred miles now.

No starter motor issue.

I'm not happy.

You're not happy?

I haven't mentioned a shit about this car, because you very casually came in today and

told us you'd sold it.

Now, remember a bet we had where you said you wouldn't buy one?

Oh, sorry.

Did I miss out on the terms and conditions?

Yeah, but it kind of feels a little bit like, you know,

feels a little bit scamming that you just bought it for a couple of weeks and sold it.

Buying an S2000 and putting it in storage and letting it crust away into the wind.

That's a great point.

That's interesting, isn't it?

Now, the bet was not that he would keep it forever.

I know it just feels like...

Also, do you think he bought it simply?

Do you think he spent a lot of thousands of pounds just to simply...

We do know this man.

Win a bet.

We do know this man.

He would.

But no, I thought...

I'm not saying you've done anything wrong.

I'm just saying that it feels a little bit like...

It feels a bit...

I'll get what you're saying, but you're going to have to suck out.

Also, do you know what Ben, that means?

That means a space in the team has opened up.

Team Clio, we know that there can only ever be two there.

May not be three.

So Ben, feel free.

I do feel free.

You never know, because it's a ticking...

It's waiting for me.

At any moment, I could buy one.

Yeah, we'll be back.

At any moment, I could be back.

If things don't pan out the way that Will's hoping,

I might buy like 100.

I will want one.

So that is now gone, basically.

I will not see that.

Well, I might see it again, but not in my ownership.

McGann, as you know, is back.

Still good.

He's behind us.

Still working.

It's right behind us.

Pantomime enjoys.

That it exists.

The Range Rover, I'm yet to get fixed.

That's getting fixed next week, I hope.

And then it will get sold.

And then it only really leaves a mum or car.

Well, no, you don't have any other cars now.

Well, don't do I.

I'm unconfirmed.

Unconfirmed, then.

But there has been a large movement in the garage of me.

In the tides.

But unconfirmed yet.

So there will be news on that mixed feelings.

Creators also have been on the search for a new daily.

Because again, I've kind of resigned to myself to the fact

that I think the Range Rover will go.

The CV joint exploding has been almost a final nail

in its quite large coffin.

Otherwise, a trouble free coffin.

Otherwise, a really trouble free coffin.

Otherwise, a really trouble free car.

And I've done 30,000 miles in it.

But after a while, the cost does get a little bit.

Even if it works, you're still getting 20 to 25 MPG.

They still cost well over.

Even for me, as an old man with a clean license,

over a grand a year to ensure 800.

Everything's just a large number.

You need a tire.

It's going to be expensive.

Yeah, it's just expensive.

So I would like to end that and put that money into fun cars.

Yes.

That would be nice.

Because you don't mind spending that on a lovely blue sky weekend car.

A yellow sky car.

Yeah, you know.

Well, maybe you can't see the sky.

And so I'll be looking at dailies.

And I haven't come to a decision.

But there's a vibe.

And it is an Italian vibe.

And they've been looking at 159s.

Second Lamborghini galore dailies.

I thought I'd go with the Vert.

You know, if that one.

But I'm looking at 159s because I think they've...

I think I do.

So good.

So cool.

I've been looking at like passats.

And I'm very sorry to say it,

golfs and even like fiestas and focuses.

And I can't bring myself to do it.

They're economical and they work and they're cheap to fix

and they're cheap to run.

But I can't do it.

But something like a 159 just feels...

Hey, you're speaking to the wrong person.

Ben famously hates them.

You hate the 159.

I forgot, but do you not remember this?

This is from early podcast.

Oh, even Ben can't remember now.

I don't know what car it is.

I'll leave a picture in a sec.

But thankfully, again, this episode of the podcast

has been sponsored by the guys at CarVertical.

It saved me a load of time.

I haven't been to view any cars yet,

but I've looked at a bunch online,

done a CarVertical check beforehand just to see.

And some of them have been either put off

or encouraged by the CarVertical check.

And it's just a very, very handy thing to do

when you're looking at a car.

Never leave any stone unturned.

And a CarVertical check should be your first step.

Yeah, it can be something completely innocent

from the seller.

They might not know they've been sold a dodgy car,

or it might be something they're trying to deliberately hide.

We have been always using it.

The amount of cars that has turned up that we've gotten,

this looks okay, and it's then turned out to be a dog,

is worth running your checks.

So you can get a discount of 20%.

If you use R-Code cream,

or if you're doing multiple throughout the year,

you can bundle them together, get 50% off your next check,

shout out CarVertical, do your checks before you buy them.

Do not get swindled by Alfa Romeo's online.

Ben Higo, here is a photo of an Alfa Romeo 159.

Don't tell me that is not one of the best-looking modern cars.

I know it's modern.

I'm saying we're talking about a 17-year-old car,

basically, at this stage.

Almost 20 for the old ones.

I know what this is now.

I like the rear is nice, the interior is nice.

The front, it just doesn't dirt for me.

I don't like those headlights.

The best front ends of all time.

I don't think Alfa have made a better-looking car since.

Agreed, fully agreed.

I know the Julia looks great and stuff,

but it isn't that.

You know what? The Julia could be any car.

If you took the front nose, what's called the Alfa Scudetto?

Is that what it's called?

I should know that, and I don't.

But if you took that off, it could be any car.

It could be an N3, it could be this one.

But when you look at the design of this,

like the inset lights and then the overhanging bonnet,

it's so perfectly Alfa.

It's so good.

I used to want one many, many moons ago.

I ended up having a Brero when I was 19.

To be fair, it was actually a bit of a let down.

As a 19-year-old with V6, it was cool,

but it was not a great car at all.

But now I want a 159, either it'll probably be a diesel,

annoyingly, just because of economy and what such.

But that's a TI one, or at least that's the TI wheel.

So it's called the really cool wheels.

I don't mind red, but you can get them in Blackontan, Benjamin.

That would be best spec.

It all feels like Alfa's stitched into the headrest.

It just feels a little bit more, not necessarily premium.

It's a bit more Italian.

Yes, a bit more.

But when you compare that side-by-side to an E19 3-series.

Yeah, it's just rep-mobile.

There's just something like the 3-series is just a 3-series.

There's nothing to make you stir to use the James May coin.

Yeah, when I was looking at them before, obviously,

it was like 13 years ago or something,

and they didn't have the same sort of issues they do now,

which is rast.

I was quite surprised.

I thought, I'll get a 159.

They're perfectly good.

And then you have a look online, and it's like subframe corrosion,

sill corrosion is a massive thing.

So try to find a clean one.

It'd be difficult.

I'd quite like a two-litre diesel Sport Wagon.

Wagon, Spaghetti Wagon.

Automatic.

Also, they have Vauxhall GM engines and gearboxes,

and whatever else, but the gearbox is a massive weak point.

Apart from, apparently, the two-litre diesel.

So you want an ideal world, two-litre diesel or wagon,

which is a Sport Wagon or Spaghetti Wagon.

I'll take us alone.

But wagon of course.

I like black.

I like...

I saw a white one.

I was very surprised that I liked that.

Like a white, even over a tan or a black leather would do me.

There's not many colors, if I'm honest.

I always liked.

And I looked when I was...

This would have been just when I met you at Carthal.

I was looking at 147 standards,

because I couldn't ensure anything else.

But they did like a metallic red, a dark red.

I'm number one red hater.

Rosso.

Competizione, I think.

Yeah, surely it's the HC colour.

Yeah, exactly HC colour.

That on a 159, the 147.

That's nice.

I like that.

I think it might either...

Isn't...

I think it's quite rare.

It's very rare.

Someone did it on a Brera.

Yeah, it's really rare.

But yeah, just feeling a little alpha.

I mean, that could be a dreadful mistake, but who knows.

Yeah.

You've got to have some form of Italian in your life.

Yeah.

But you've already got one.

Sorry, yeah.

We've got to fill that gap, haven't we?

Ben.

Okay.

More of a rule, because you've been driving your ST-1000 around.

Okay.

Well, you know what?

Seeing as the McGan is back, we need some sort of fagasy to keep the creamers going with.

So like, it switched from the McGan's coming back every week

to I'm getting the ST-1000 every week.

I think this time next week, Ben's going to go...

Then you know there's a reason.

There is a reason not to.

Something shall befall you and you will go, I can't.

I can't.

How could I?

I can't.

Why?

Because I can't.

Now, would you...

You're going to start draining it then.

You're going to start driving it home back and forth.

What if?

So why is it coming back from the unit?

You'll swap the...

So the golf, the golf set in the unit.

You know, we're tucking that away for the summer.

Keep the Mars off it.

Okay.

Back it goes in.

No, surely not.

Shit.

Ben with the Ben with the ST-1000.

In deep storage.

Yeah.

So are you excited?

Okay.

That didn't sound...

That sounded not convincing.

That was, do you love me?

Sure, sure.

So you want to put it to the test, basically?

Here's, I just want to flash back to the last week

where we were making fun of Ben for him, you know,

skit to Ben for the flopping,

where he'd go, I don't know.

I'm ready to sell it.

And then last week he was, I love it.

I never sell it.

That's an amazing car.

And then this week, Ben is,

yes, I'll see if I like it.

You're at that stage, it's like the...

It's a relationship that you're basically at the end of.

But like, you've got like one last thing where you go,

look, let's have a sit down.

Is there something we can do?

And the ST-2000, it has to perform.

Yeah.

The ST-2000 has to do something.

That really gets your hair going.

And then the back end, the back end just switches around

and he goes, right, that's it.

He goes, I knew you've always been like this.

Okay, okay.

I don't like it.

Right. Okay.

Yeah.

Like what else?

Like your investment portfolio.

Yeah.

Or your estate agent portfolio.

But he owns...

Yeah.

Have you successfully managed to buy the entirety of Bristol yet?

Have they accepted the offer?

Okay.

We're exactly, they're a little bit frosty now.

Liquidity is not great until that money comes back in.

I'm going to say it is a rule for me.

It's a rule for me.

I drove the...

I've been driving the TVR a little bit.

I love it.

I do really love that car.

I know it's...

It keeps making me think, do I have that?

And I go and look at it.

I'm like, have that, have that.

I took it to take Will to an undisclosed location to pick Will up.

Sorry, because he didn't have a way home.

From an undisclosed location on the weekend.

And then I went, oh, let me run into town and get a haircut.

Parked the car up.

A creamer actually came up to me.

And as he was speaking to me, someone reversed into the TVR, which was nice.

How do you do that?

It is green.

Do you know what the guy said to me?

Right?

I was actually not too upset because it's a 150,000 mile car.

It has scratches all over the front end anyway.

And it didn't make much for Mark.

But he said, I parked up, got the car.

I was talking to this guy for a few minutes.

This guy just reversed at two mile an hour into it.

And he went, oh, we were always there.

It is bright green, if I'm honest.

And he went, yeah, fair.

But he immediately back, he was like, yeah, no, sorry.

He was trying to get out of it.

No, you were like, you must have just dashed into that.

You must have reversed into me.

Bright green objects right behind the alien UFO.

But no, that's fine.

It's a, I've polished it out already.

It was just a little scratch.

Tis butter scratch.

But other than that, I think I'm happy.

I've driven the Clio to work every day.

That's working.

The alignment's a little bit rough on that at the moment.

It kind of went from quite a cool little road track car.

I put the coilovers on, haven't aligned it yet.

And now it's kind of just Cadillac in nature.

A little bit soaring at the wheel, which is nice.

But not much to report.

It hasn't been much, so it's okay.

We are, we are doing something this week on Thursday.

I'm quite excited for.

Oh yeah, we are going on an Ollie day.

To buy a car.

Ben's not.

Ben deliberately set this all out so that he wouldn't come with us.

It was the country.

And he said, I don't want to go there.

I know someone from there.

I'm busy that day.

And then we said, what about this day?

And he went, I'm on holiday that day.

So I can't really do that.

That's per usual.

Yeah, one like seven week holiday.

And you know, Ben is the person who scans the calendar

for like how to maximize those holidays.

So if Ben's on the podcast for the next three months,

just because he's taking, he's only taken three days off.

But we won't see him for a few months.

He's managed to.

While you're on holiday doing niche, we're in here.

Sipping pina coladas in Exeter or whatever.

Right.

So that's three.

I don't, I didn't actually give an answer.

Do you, what did mine?

Mine will be a ruin.

Okay.

It will be a ruin.

There's nothing, nothing.

No, no major reason, but it's just, it's cause it's up in the air.

Two rules and a ruin.

Back to the classic.

No more, no more triple rules.

Shall we get on to some anecdotes?

Let's, Edwin, you've been here that the brown barge goes on holiday.

I've been so excited to hear this.

I saw it coming on Saturday evening.

I'll be honest.

It's not exactly what you think.

As we said in previous episodes, we now have to remind ourselves

by adding extra anecdotes privately to work out what it is.

I'm going to show you, I'm going to describe to you a car.

Can we explain the brown barge first?

The brown barge is your old BMW E61 wagon.

It's just an old five series wagon from the 2000s.

Brown.

Brown in nature.

And it was, you know, a car, I'd say for sure.

For a while.

It was brown on brown.

It was brown on beige.

Yeah, which is an interesting spec.

But it was also, it, it, it was triple brown because it, it looked brown.

It, it's out.

Okay.

It looked brown externally.

It had a basically a brown interior.

And then also it had been parked in the fields,

so it smelt kind of like brown and a bit of green.

Okay.

I'm going to describe to you a car.

It is a 2010 BMW 535i.

That is the N54.

That is the big, big engine in an E60 wagon, five series wagon.

But it is an X drive, which is a American only as a manual.

Wow.

Yeah.

Manual with an M sport kit.

So he's got, he's got the full kit.

Cars and bids, a rival podcast, you know, podcast to us.

And one that we have kind of beef with a little bit of quiet beef with Mr.

Always good to mention small creators.

With Mr. Demure himself.

How much did that car sell for?

Dollars is America.

Is it low miles?

I'm just going to put you out your misery.

It was $52,500.

What the hell?

For a 535.

Surely it's low miles.

It's 50,000 miles.

Okay.

So it's low miles.

It's ridiculously low.

But not crazy.

Yeah.

And it was a real I was served of Mr.

Demure and his, and his band of married men, talking about this car.

Are they going, dude, this thing's perfect, dude.

This is the ultimate wagon.

This is the best car on earth.

I think that's a great deal.

What are we talking about here?

50,000.

So what's that in pounds?

Like 35, 30, late 30s.

Yeah.

We do that for like, that is mint M5 money.

That's perfect M5 money.

I get it, right?

It's manual and it's an all drive one as, but this isn't special.

I know it is and it's rare.

I looked up and apparently there's something like 50 of these made.

So it's a rare car.

That's because it's a weird combination.

It's a manual four wheel drive estate car.

But they're calling it like the ultimate station wagon,

like the ultimate wagon.

That would be a M5.

I've just described an RS4, but with a bad engine.

There's RS4s.

There's RS6s.

There's M5s.

Why are we getting so excited about an engine that is,

hey, look, you can fight about the M54 into the ends of the earth.

They are not great when they're not well looked after.

Oh, they could be.

If they're well looked after, amazing engines.

But they're not bulletproof where you can run them like a 2J,

badly on no oil, and it goes, yeah, I'll just deal with it.

Also, it's not special.

It's a good engine.

You can make power and it's powerful enough as it is standard.

But it's not like, you know, last of its kind engine.

It's not like an SA-V10 or V8.

Replaced by the M55, which was arguably better.

People are going to get upset about that.

But hey, the M55 made it into an actual M car.

Yeah, 1M, you can argue.

And then it replaced again by the B58.

Let's stop the argument there.

Yeah.

But more importantly, you spend $50,000 on an E61,

on a brown barge, a variance of a brown barge.

Benz, I think.

No, it's black.

It's black.

Oh, OK.

I thought we were going for...

No, unfortunately, not the...

Is it a wild?

Is it like a...

This is individual sepia green, grune, magrunic.

And the interior is an extended, half-extended,

half-leather, half-swayed mejindas.

Black over black.

Great.

It's just black over black.

Or maybe it is an individual color,

but it looks to be black over black.

It's individual black.

Yeah.

This is the only one of this exact car

painted in this color.

That's black.

But that was...

That's...

You know what?

It just confused me.

But it confused me with all that.

I was expecting some reaction of like,

what's going on?

Yeah.

And they were all like,

yeah, no, this makes sense.

That's totally normal.

Absolutely fine.

I'd pay that.

I'd aptly pay that.

Well, I wish I was at the auction.

Because the thing...

Put a paddle in my hand.

The equivalent is,

when an American car comes here,

we don't go, whoa, that's so rare.

We need it.

No, it's still worth 11 pounds.

Yeah.

And we go...

That car's right for just sitting

in the corner of Facebook Marketplace.

On a slightly overgrown, grassy driveway.

With a sort of gray painted house.

And then just at the corner

of an American flag visible somewhere,

hidden behind perhaps a Vauxhall Combo van.

That's also on the drive as well.

What we got next?

James...

No, not James Bond.

We'll get to James Bond.

Perhaps that was a crafty little retention thing for you all.

Ooh, Ben is the speaking spot.

Confirmed.

M3 wagon thing.

And for that, I will have to tell you,

last year, BMW did some form of J.Pery,

some joker-y.

They did an April Fool's thing saying...

Oh, I pulled up the wrong photo.

Apologies.

Oh.

I thought you meant that thing.

No.

But we can briefly...

We can mention that afterwards.

This is a race car that BMW

are actually going to race this year.

That is based on...

I've seen this as a car.

Now, this will be some weeks old by this point,

but we missed it last week.

Heard it here, third.

You possibly even later than third at this stage.

But yeah, last year, there was an April Fool's thing saying,

ha ha, why have we made these guys?

I think one was an M2 Dakar,

and then there was an M3 Touring GT3 Evo.

But now they've said, yeah, no, it was funny,

but actually we are making that.

So that car is actually going to race it.

Going rating.

Going racing.

So it has got a ridiculous rear wing.

Yeah, it's kind of crazy.

It reminds me a little bit of the...

The John Olson RS6 from many moons ago.

Do you know what?

Look, wagons have had in previous times a place in racing.

You've got 850 BTCC Volvo.

So why not run it?

Let's see what it does.

But I think it's called P58 engine.

It's apparently a little bit longer and a tiny bit wider, I think,

than what you'd have usually had, I think, with an M4.

It's got some width on it.

But what I now want to see,

what I now want to see is that without a livery on the street.

So we can have an M3 Touring Touring.

A Touring Touring.

So it's a 2v3 non-race car, or it'd be a Touring RS.

Touring, racing, touring.

It's for touring, but racing.

But like race touring.

Not the one you're thinking of.

If you try and put your dog in the boot,

it is going to hit his head on some scaffolding.

Yes.

It's going to be a little bit upset.

But then in also news that we weren't expecting perhaps to speak about,

or at least I wasn't, is that there's a company making an E46 Touring.

Yes.

I'll be honest, I know nothing about this.

Well, no, that's called BMW.

They make the E46 Touring.

But what a company in the UK has done,

is they are now making E46 M3 wagons, something that you can just buy.

So if you don't know until now,

the E46 M3 only ever came as a coupé.

There have been people over the years converting them to M3s.

Perhaps even Otto Alex himself built himself the wagon that he wanted out of his old car.

However, this company, which are called, I think, Petroil.

Oh, I got a photo here.

Petroilium.

Petroil are building E46 M3s wagons, but to whatever spec you want.

So they've done a launch, which is Laguna Seca Blue over Cinnamon.

Makes sense.

I don't like that spec.

I'm not a fan of the spec.

I love Laguna Seca Blue.

I'm going to say it.

Sometimes I like more than Oxford Green.

It's the one that originally took my heart for the E46 M3.

But over Cinnamon, I'm not too sure it works.

I just don't like E46 M3 Tourings.

I kind of get it.

I understand it.

Do you know what it is?

It's because if you look at the rear quarter, like the upper rear quarter,

the boot, let's say, the boot and the roof from that corner, that's just an E46.

And also, the rear lights are the normal touring ones,

which are all like the pre-Face-Lift ones.

So they don't have... I don't get it.

And there's people doing this.

I don't know if that's for me, but no one really knows why they like it.

If you know what I mean, it's just like they like it because,

oh, that should be cool.

So I think it's cool.

That is a bad-shaped car.

It's not as good as a coupé.

It's way worse than a coupé.

Yeah, I get it.

It's the car that BMW made one, and now people are going,

I'm going to make it.

But as BMW would have done.

But it doesn't look as good as a coupé.

Now, what is cool, because it's a company offering it,

they have said, you don't have to have an S54.

We can do a zero-mile S54.

Or we can do a V10.

We can do an S85.

Oh, wow.

We can do a V8, an S65.

We can do an S6.

Whatever you want, they will put in there.

Which is that, I think, is cool.

If you can go to a company and say, build me a wagon.

But yeah, I'm the same.

It's just... It leaves me a little bit, eh.

You cannot tell me that from the back.

Like if you cut off the front arches and stuff.

From the back, you know, halfway back.

And it looks anything other than just a normal E46 touring.

It needs a little something, not a lot of stuff.

Also, why do they look like fronts all around?

They do look a little bit like fronts all around,

which are the 18-inch wheels.

They also, they're also technically the incorrect color.

They should be a shadow chrome, not a full silver, thank you.

But, do you know what?

I can see why a company has done that,

because there's going to be a million and one year.

No, I've been yearning for a touring in 1946.

I just wish they built that.

Could I have Hounds Tooth over Hounds Tooth?

Like Hounds Tooth on the outside.

How many shades of green do you do?

And then on the inside, like a brown cognac.

In the, on the new M3.

Where does the M3 wagon sit in your, in your space?

It would sit just below, as in, in M, I mean...

So you have M3 touring, M3 normal, M4.

It goes M3, M3 touring, because I love the new M3 touring.

Proportions to be designed to be so.

Yeah.

If you know what I mean.

And then it would be a M4 after that.

I don't really like the M4.

I'm the same.

The M4 is, Ben?

Is, is...

Well, the option is going to go again.

So, well, actually you can have, so you've got M3 touring.

Yeah.

Normal M3, which is a four door.

Yeah.

The M4, which is a two-door coupé and an M4 convertible.

What is your ranking them?

Your ranking it.

I'm going M3 normal, M3 touring, M4 normal, M4 touring.

Do you know what?

M4, M4, M4 convertible.

Now, do you know what?

Sometimes I care so little about the M4 coupé that the vert goes above it.

Okay.

Because sometimes I see like a Miami spec M4, which is like kind of a silly loud color

on the outside, some big chrome wheels, and then like a light colored champagne interior.

I think, do you know what?

I like the M4 coupé so little that I could, I can deal with that.

Somewhere, but it's somewhere sit somewhere between, I have an M3.

Yeah.

But maybe perhaps if I had to have an M4, maybe I just would.

I'll get the vert.

But yeah, no, the touring, I don't get that.

I'm possibly in a minority.

I'd be interested to see more specs.

I want to see what people come out with.

Because now that it's a thing that you can just go and buy,

that's the thing that a lot of people won't want to deal with.

They'll have the money for it.

They're going to go, so I need to, I need to go and buy two cars.

I need to then pay someone to pull an S54 out.

Then I need to go and find a body shop who'll put a rear quarter on.

I don't want to deal with this.

Whereas if there's a company, like a singer that you can go to.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

It makes sense.

Make me something.

We'll start probably seeing some cool specs.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

No idea.

No idea at all.

Okay, so I was just revealing it.

Because there's, I think we spoke about it briefly on one of the last,

if not the last podcast about M-Craft.

Yeah.

In those, those 1M ones.

And um, man.

That, that I'm hearing.

That 1M, I like that.

1Ms, and even because we were talking about colors and it was like how,

I'm not normally a fan.

If someone makes either a recreation or something like that or a rest in mod,

I like it to go a factory color, but like a factory color,

not necessarily a BMW color, but one that fits that model.

Yes.

And it's like, if someone starts painting it a San Reino blue or whatever,

it starts to look, it's BMW, but it never was available there.

It becomes a show car.

Yeah.

It looks like a show car.

But those are like, as an Alpina green one, and there's a Hockenheim silver one.

And man, just because they pick the right wheels, it's sat just right.

Yeah.

Has the right engine.

A man.

That is a dream build.

What is your ultimate?

Now we're in BMWs here.

Let's say BMW.

What's your ultimate BMW build?

Does it exist or do you like to make it?

It does.

Okay.

What's that?

It would be basically the current generation M3.

Right.

Underneath.

And that's it.

Thanks so much for coming, guys.

And then I just pay them.

Underneath.

To be fine or something.

No.

As in like the, the drive train and all that sort of thing.

And then I'd have the current Alpina 3 series, whatever.

So a B3S.

Yeah.

But with, is that the status?

Yeah.

Because that's got, that has the S58 engine.

Does it?

Yeah.

I think we've talked about this multiple times before.

I love the shape of the, I guess now it's no longer the current three series.

The current three series saloon.

I've loved that since it came out.

So that one.

The front end.

That was that other front end.

Alpina B3 Touring S.

I would not black with a talent here.

Oh, lovely.

That's fantastic.

You know the, you know, you see like a really tasteful M3 now and you can get,

being that we make bright silver wheels from factories.

Yeah.

Well, those wheels are.

That's what we want.

You want those wheels?

Yeah.

That's it.

You're ripe for a little rest-o company to come along.

Yes.

You can't pinpoint it.

If you go to them with those options and they go,

what about this?

You go, that is the car.

Here is 150,000 pounds.

There they go.

Thanks for the deposit.

Pay them another 400 in a minute.

The sixth generation of Alpina B3 in September 2019,

followed the sedan version.

Car is powered by the same S58 straight six engine as the M3,

but tuned to produce 461 horsepower and made it to an eight speed transmission

and all wheel drive as standard.

Crazy.

So meaning that you have the looks of an M340,

non-big gopping grill.

Yeah.

But with the running gear for an M3.

That's my guy.

I'm assuming that's different.

Everything and all the driving.

Yeah.

I'm going to assume.

Drive mode and all that stuff.

Okay.

That's that's interesting.

Simply fantastic.

I like those as well.

For me, I would still love one day.

One of my end goals ever is eight series, E31 eight series with the V10.

With the S1.

Yeah.

Because that's my favorite looking BMW of all time.

It is for me, perfect.

For me, impossible.

Ray Romano.

Rivera.

Yes.

Ray in the speed shop.

He built that.

He did.

But again, it's like as we've spoken about in the park.

Again, he wasn't necessarily going for the sort of rest stone mod thing as such.

He's just modifying it as he wishes.

But it was that vibe where it has the V10 in it.

It was very clean, well made.

But just a tad, just a bit too much.

Yeah.

A little bit too much on the market.

I just want some Alpina 18s and Alpina front lip and some nice interior stuff.

And then that'd be happy.

Yeah.

But a lot of people have done it, but there are challenges that you have to deal with.

Like for instance, the car, the engine doesn't like being in there.

Oh, it goes to some major.

I don't fit between these strut towels.

So if you could deal with that and then you have to get an angle grinder out and you go,

hey, hi.

But so just another episode of three old men shouting at the world turning.

Bring back the old stuff.

It was better.

It was way better in 2016.

You remember the summer.

Ben, you've been here.

James Bond in a BYD.

Now, what sort of bollocks is this?

Yeah, that's, it's a weird one is what it is.

There he is.

Looked like a thumbnail.

That is a crazy photo.

Basically, Daniel Craig, who played James Bond until recently, has signed some sort

of new ambassador deal for Denza, a Chinese brand, which is owned by BYD.

So he's on the face of it.

Lovely.

So he's got Master Martin to this.

Can you describe on the screen what you're saying?

Okay.

So we have a car.

Imagine a state car from Watch Dogs 2.

Very good description.

And now imagine a giant Daniel Craig staring down a plant.

He is upwards of 40 foot tall, I guess.

He's also, he's staring directly at you.

He's actually looking at the car.

He's sort of looking at you going, he's going, this is a BYD.

And do you know what?

This is speculation, but he probably got paid, you know, we could probably tens of millions

of pounds to this.

I thought you were going to say, I was going to, I thought you were going to say,

this is speculation, but he might not be, he might be photoshopped into that photo.

And do you know what, Ben?

I'm seeing where you're going with that.

What's it?

It's not very well photoshopped.

That's like my level of attempts.

Well, we've got this one.

There's another photo here.

I saw another one where that's that.

I actually saw a different one to this.

Maybe I saw the four by four one.

I couldn't get it out without.

He looks three or four different ages in every single one.

Cause there that is, that is.

Oh, so that's just a car have a baseball cap on.

Now this is, I knew this would become a question.

And I've been wondering this for many moons.

The car has a taxi light.

Like, you know, you know, when you see an old American, no, no, it's not.

You know, when you see an old American film from New York and there's taxis,

they've got their little baseball cap thing right above the windscreen,

little thing that lights up taxi or perhaps an English taxi,

you know, whichever one you like.

I've been noticing it because I saw this in my review, Mary, the other day.

A Volvo, which can you see has, has the same thing as a bulge.

What it is, I just looked it up for, is a LiDAR scanner.

And it was something installed by like an aftermarket E sort of company.

They, they, they won like a bid with Volvo to install LiDAR detectors in the front of the car

to help prevent crashes and for safety.

3D printing stuff.

You can't just scanning the road and your 3D printer home is going,

I can make that a whole BYD in front of you if you like.

M25 southbound.

Got it.

I've got it.

For doing games.

It's fantastic.

Oh, wow.

Scanning tracks and towns.

But so, and also there was supposedly a story I found of,

if you held your phone camera up to it, it would destroy your phone's camera,

which is nice.

But so, yeah, it's LiDAR to try and help prevent crashes.

It started as a factory standard equipment thing for Volvo's.

Then it became optional and now it's been cancelled.

So, I'm not sure it's gone that well.

But I believe...

We'll speak to Daniel Craig.

Well, he's gonna, and you can say, Daniel, mate, what is the new,

hold on, Z9 GT's roofline about?

They'll go, that's the LiDAR scanner.

It prevents, what it does is shoots rockets.

Yeah, it can scan your baddies in front of you.

And really print them for you and you can do whatever you like.

It feels like a cop-out, doesn't it, from old James?

But I mean...

Hey, money talks.

Money talks.

Money does talk, but let's be real here, James.

You would.

I don't think I would.

I would, for like, call it...

Okay, right now...

How much?

I'm a Chinese factory making cars.

Hello there.

Good morning.

Hi, William.

You're from the Cream Podcast, is it?

I think so, yeah.

Yeah, I know, I love your work.

I know you haven't swatched a single thing.

I've watched all of it.

How about $10 million to have your face?

All right.

On...

Yeah, no, I don't care what you...

Whatever you've said.

Okay.

I'm doing it.

Okay, yeah, no, that makes sense.

Can I, but is it enough to...

10 mil?

10 mil.

You're buying a Zonda.

Yeah, no, we're going to go...

Yeah, dollars.

Dollars, there's taxes, so you're probably taking home.

I'm only really talking like one Zonda and a bit of chump change.

You're talking like four mil take home, British.

Oh, it's talking about the tax as well.

Yeah.

No, it's not worth it.

No, you're not having four million quid take home.

Four million pound in your hand right now.

Yeah, but how can I come on this podcast ever again after...

How many times have we abused electric cars?

It's true, but at the same time, you'd have a Zonda sitting behind us, not the McGann.

Yeah.

Perhaps.

So you're saying no to four million quid.

It wouldn't make things much easier.

It would, yeah, no.

Your life would be...

I'd say I'd call it life changing money.

Also, people forget.

Exactly.

People forget.

Do you know what?

Right. In 20 years, if someone says to me,

remember Daniel Craig?

I'm going to go, that bloke from the Denzer ads.

No, I'm going to go...

He would start promoting them electric cars, would he?

I'm going to go, what, James Bond?

But then what you might get is...

Yeah, he was James Bond.

You go, yeah, he sold out there, didn't he?

Yeah, BYD.

And then he drives past you in his Zonda and goes...

I think we'll...

Four million pounds, I think you're doing it.

What's the number?

Clear in your account.

You finished it.

I'm going to post...

Post tax number?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If I could clear a...

20...

If I could clear a comfortable seven figures in the account...

Seven.

Where's the decimal point, though?

It's 200, but with a different point.

Million quid, just like flat art taxes, I'm happy.

Okay, yeah.

So, just know that they're going to be listening to this,

writing it down.

Yeah, yeah.

Or what, they're going to give you a million quid?

Oh, no, please don't do that.

Right, so what I'm saying is,

but by underselling yourself by saying 200...

Exactly.

They don't know.

Actually, they just wrote down one and they did the comma.

Yeah, because you can tell...

Zero, zero, zero.

And then they went...

Oh, you said that number and they just scrubbed it off.

Yeah, give them a grand.

Don't speak to them anymore.

You can come down, but you can't come back up, can you?

That's a great question.

So, I'm going to drop 10 mil.

10 mil, nice.

But I'll take a million.

So, basically, it's two mil.

You're just laying it out on the table.

You're like, let's save some negotiation time.

You're going to knock me down to two.

I'm going to go back up to...

Let's just call it a mil and then we're happy.

I called it BYD.

It's not BYD.

Two mil, bit of tax.

But who is that?

No, it's a subsidiary of BYD.

Oh, right. So, they are related to it.

Right. They're called Denza.

There's no amount of money, but this week's episode is sponsored by Denza.

And I'm a big fan of them.

They've got these new electric cars.

I couldn't say how much.

I heard you arrive in your New Zonda this morning.

That was a surprise, for sure.

I do it for...

Can I guess?

Yeah.

I think you do it for half a mil.

I think I do it for less than that.

Really?

For a mil?

Sure, why not?

Really?

What if there was an offer of a car?

A Denza.

Yeah.

I take it.

You know what? I really love the offer.

I think you guys are amazing.

I think I have to pursue different opportunities at this time.

Because what's it worth, really?

Okay. How much to...

Okay. So, it's the same question,

but you can only drive a Denza now for the rest of your life.

Oh, that's it.

Now, that...

Wait, wait, hold on.

I couldn't.

I would not.

Just to daily?

Or that's my only car?

You can have one other car.

Or you can't be seen.

I have to be Batman.

But you know, like, is it...

No, no, no. That's my thing.

No, but you know, celebs do like they...

I'm sponsored by, you know, like F1 drivers.

You're sponsored by TAG or whatever.

It's like, oh, you've got to whack that on.

And they whack them off.

I want a little...

I like Varietyers the Spice.

You can have one other fun car of your choosing.

Obviously...

But at any point, as in, at any time,

I can keep swapping out my second car.

You could have a BOD or a Denza.

Oh, that's a good one.

No, you know what? I don't know.

You have one.

You can have...

Okay. You can choose one fun car as well,

but ignore that part.

This is just basically how much you take in for this.

I don't know that that's...

Because I don't know I can do that.

I think there's a price for you guys because you're too obsessed with cars.

No, because I'd be like...

Indefinitely.

For life or is it like 10 years?

No, indefinitely. You have one car.

No, I can't do that.

Because if it was like 10 years and I'm getting like a billion pounds,

then I'd think about it because I could build my collection in the background.

Do you know what that is?

That's just doing prison.

Yeah.

That's 10 years of prison there and you get out and you're like, I'm free.

It's car arrest.

I'm on Denza arrest.

Do you get a brand new Denza?

That's what Daniel Craig's on right now.

You get a brand new Denza.

It doesn't look very pleased about it.

He really...

Now, this is what I wanted to say earlier.

All of the ads I've seen, he looks angry.

He looks like he's ready to punch out the lights of the man who's just gone,

all right, just take a step in front of that Denza please.

Can I have your...

He's giving it the James Bond sort of smolder,

which is ruining...

You know, it should...

Yeah, I don't think you should do that.

Sorry, but we can't actually have your number.

As his manager.

What?

Well, you...

I don't have a number.

So it's not happening.

I can't do that.

You say no.

For doing it with a lifetime.

Lifetime with one other car.

Lifetime signing with Denza.

No other cars are allowed.

So you could have like a Mercedes-Benz.

You have to...

No, but I can't use it, can I?

Why?

I said one other fun car.

Yeah, no, but I want other things.

Wow, okay.

So maybe the Mercedes-Benz is more important there.

I want to see other people as well.

But that's what I mean, variety.

If all you have is from that to one other car,

it will get tiring after you.

All you got is a Mercedes-Benz.

Oh, tough ride.

It's like just going from your bedroom to the kitchen forever.

But with a billion pounds.

No, but you never go outside.

What do you do with a billion pounds?

What are you going to do?

Just keep eating what's in the fridge.

No, because you can still do other things.

It's not like you can...

Also, this kind of argument is a bit lost on Ben,

because Ben's already there.

Yeah, I know.

Ben's like, what am I going to do with another billion pounds?

Why would that make a difference to me?

Oh, a billion, is that it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, God.

Ben's going, have you ever heard the term drop in the ocean?

This one will...

It won't even make a noise.

My bank won't even notify me that that's gone in.

They might say we are your bank,

but they won't say a deposit of a billion pounds.

You'll see it come in and you go,

oh, lovely, that's my 1% interest.

Fantastic.

Oh, interest rates a little bit low.

So, yeah, Chinese companies just ruling us out

left, right and centre there.

Shout out, Danza.

James Bond and Volvo and the baseball cap thing.

Didn't know about that.

Ben, I'm going to read this verbatim.

Okay?

Quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail.

Right, and me when I'm on a shooting trip, but I'm blind.

Could you, could you, could you advance?

So, we're going this year to Monterey Car Week.

Get out of here.

I've had another one.

We've mentioned this before, but we're putting more feelers out.

Ben's upset because he did a media inquiry to the quail.

No, I've applied for media passes for us for the quail.

This big event at Monterey Car Week and, you know, we didn't hear back instantly.

And the local time for them was 3am.

Yeah, so.

I haven't heard back today.

So, we would like to extend anyone who has any access on anything about anything.

Get us in, please.

Now, this is what I'm, this is why I decided to let this run out.

I'd like to understand, who do you think is watching this?

I think there's $50.

We got, we went somewhere recently.

MTC.

Yeah, we went somewhere recently.

We went to, what's that mean?

Where'd you go?

Where did we go?

So, do I say it?

We went to an exquisite car selling department.

Who, what does that mean?

Department store for selling exquisite automobiles.

Enjoy Monterey cars.

Famously, enjoying Monterey.

We have been visiting there, visited there once and we had a tour and what such.

And we very much enjoyed it.

And much too.

Our surprise, two or three people that work there, they said,

oh yeah, I listened to the podcast and watched the channel.

I was stunned to my core that someone who can deal with what they deal with every single day

will then come home or on their commute to work or come home and go, you know what,

whack the green podcast on.

Let me hear Ben talk about his billions, let's hear about custard and whatever else they're talking

about.

That was in the preamble.

We do talk about custard.

I got it mixed up with beans, didn't I?

Can we just cut in one quick custard clip in here?

Birds custard, birds custard.

Is it birds?

No, birds.

Ambrosia.

Yeah, that was nice in my ear.

I just want custard now.

It's not very audio friendly as a custard.

No, it doesn't matter.

Please, this might be what ends up being on a Patreon if we do start it.

It'll be a 30 minute ramble about custard beforehand.

But anyway, putting custard to one side, I want to talk about Monterey car week.

I can do that.

We just want, we don't know who's out there listening, but it's worth it.

It's worth an ass.

Who do you think?

Best case, who do you think is listening?

Gordon Murray, Kristian Von Koenigsegg, Maté Rimmak.

All together.

We know that they're not like us.

But what we're hoping for is that someone close to them is.

Yeah.

Their partners, their best friends, their brothers, their mothers.

Do you know what we can provide social media content?

Part of the video, we can provide things.

We can also provide entertainment in the form of jokes.

You haven't seen it here yet, but just trust we can do that.

Like, if the time came, we'll make a song.

You exactly.

We'll do Kristian Von Koenigsegg's at Quail.

We just want to go to the Quail more than anything.

Please.

Okay.

So that's a shout out.

I don't think it's a lot to ask.

What we're not asking for.

Well, I'm not saying it's not like, give me a car.

No.

I want you to just let me into your establishment.

What's three more that they charge?

I don't know, but what is that actually worth?

They're renting the place out.

What's it worth to you?

They're renting it out.

It's not their place.

We don't have like...

It's not worth anything to me.

I'll do like an Instagram post for Denzer.

We're not, we're not going to start any fights.

Hold on.

We're not going to eat all your food.

We're going to be very quiet.

I will.

I am.

No, I'm going to eat everything at times.

Hold on, hold on.

We're missing.

It's been looking us in the face the entire time.

Denzer can get us in.

Denzer could get us in.

I don't think they're going...

Look, if they can put a giant Daniel Craig behind their car,

they can get us into the quail.

That's true.

I think we...

It's their launching budget, not now.

Where is the quail?

True.

Where is it?

It's at the quail.

Peninsula Hotel.

Is it by the sea?

No, it's in Como Valley.

You famously drove past it.

Do you remember that?

Yeah, no.

I don't know why I thought I was thinking of Purple Beach.

Yep, no, different.

I was thinking of getting in by boat.

Also...

Or by helicopter.

Also, just for people that aren't aware of what's

the sea line is, it goes up to a road, which is public access.

So, you'd arrive by boat just to be on the same road that we were on

without access anyway.

Oh, is it 17 miles?

Yeah, exactly that.

Right.

So, you'd kind of arrive and then go...

I'm in it and go...

They go...

No, the line starts here.

But depending on the boat, if I point it out and go,

I've just come off that boat, they go,

Oh.

True, yeah.

No, that's true.

If I just go out of a Yukon,

they go, well, you're probably a tourist, aren't you?

If I had shorts on as well.

Let's go crafty.

How are you, Alan?

I've said it before.

I'm willing to sneak in.

But Ben doesn't want to do it.

I think we go in one of those big, long trench coats,

all three of us sat on each other.

Also, it's going to be very long.

Mr. Glingerberg, well, obviously...

That would be 18 feet of man.

Sure, yeah.

Well, that'd be big.

They let us in.

They go, Col, look at the size of him.

He might mean business.

I reckon we could plug our way in.

I think we could.

But also, the same people who do have the ability,

who are just about to send off a message,

hearing us go, I'll sneak in.

Yeah, fine.

Go, go, go.

Right, delete that email.

What do you mean by that?

You will sneak in.

On a real one, please.

We will be good.

No, we won't.

We'll be good.

We'll just...

Why should you behave ourselves?

Like, last minute...

We'll try to behave ourselves.

Last minute, if I look through the gates

and I see something I'm interested in,

are you making a run for it?

I will have to use some speech skills.

Speech?

You're going to try.

You're going to try and smooth talk.

Yes, I'm going to do it.

All right.

I'm the security guard.

I'm the security guard at the quail.

I'd laugh.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, so we're together.

We haven't gone into the quail.

I'm dead.

I've gone.

I'm not sneaking in.

I'm going to go back to the...

It's just me and you.

Yeah, I'm gone.

I'm in.

And we're swimming to the Pearl Beach.

Right.

Okay, okay.

I'm going to go back to silliness.

I'm done.

Okay, yeah.

So you're now on your own.

And you see, but you come on me back to me.

It's just me.

It's just you.

Or you've got to get in.

And you'll address the part.

You look great.

What time is it?

I go...

Sorry.

Why are you looking over there?

I'm here.

It's still early.

It was at nine o'clock at open.

Why is it too scary?

It's 10 o'clock in the morning.

I don't know who he is.

Oh, you don't know who he is.

You're a security guard.

I don't know who he is.

It's 10 o'clock in the morning.

So quite early.

You're wearing a linen.

I'm wearing a linen.

You're ready.

You're all kitted out.

You're going to pass.

Sorry, I haven't got a pass.

This is a...

I forgot my pass.

Incredibly prestigious event.

Hi, you're English.

You clearly not from here.

I came all the way.

Oh, hi, you're English.

You're not from here.

I came all the way.

Sorry, why'd you give me attitude there?

That's a bit of a crazy one.

I came all the way here.

And I've left my pass inside.

That's crazy.

You left it inside.

I came out for a smoke with Christian.

Do you know Christian?

Which guy?

No, Christian.

No, Christian and Gordon went out for a...

For a seagate.

Who are they?

They made some of the greatest cars the world's ever seen.

Okay.

Mr. Koenigsegg and Mr. Murray.

Okay.

Tash shirt.

Not a lot of hair.

Another shirt.

That's one guy.

Two guys.

In one shirt?

Don't take the piss out of my friends.

Two guys.

They're friends.

Okay.

And you're security.

So then let's not take the piss here.

All right.

I'm sorry about that, sir.

Okay.

So that's what I do.

Don't take the piss out of my friends.

So if you've...

Side note, I've got a guilt trip him.

I've got him now.

Okay, go on, go on, go on.

So now he's thinking I've offended his mate.

Okay.

I've left my pass in there.

Right.

Okay.

Let me get to that.

Well, mate, it's about to do a speech.

Hold on.

You've already been inside.

Right?

Yes.

So where did you leave your pass?

You've already been.

So you know where you went.

In the VIP area.

Where's that?

In the top.

It's all flat.

It's on a golf course, sir.

Yeah, no, but it is at the top

because there's an elevated area.

Like in a bunker?

I mean, you wouldn't know.

No, I've only ever been here.

Yeah, like how would you know at the gate?

Yeah.

Idiot.

Gordon and Chris, you can see them walking off.

Okay.

Look over there.

Okay.

Look, can you see them?

Oh, just explain me this.

And I'm in.

So you use...

But you could have just...

I would use theatricality and deception

are powerful agents to the uninitiated.

Okay.

But you're in at that point.

Yeah, and then I'm in.

And then he turned around and go,

well, where'd he go?

Oh, funny how?

Anyway, that guy must have left.

Oh, he was going a massive trench coat coming in.

But it's just you in a really long trench coat.

Yeah.

No, I think we're in.

So please.

The quail organises us listening to something.

Let's ramp up security.

If you do work for the quail.

Sorry.

Can we come in anyway?

Can we come in?

We'll make some content.

We'll have a good time.

We'll be very polite and we'll say please and thank you.

But we will eat every single piece of food.

We will eat all the food.

Absolutely.

Yes.

And...

Right.

Well, we got next.

What do we have next?

We have, I think, our penultimate.

Yes.

Penultimate.

Before we get to something else, which will happen at the end,

we will do a tier list.

We did a tier list, I think, a couple of weeks ago.

It was last week.

We talked about the world's worst drivers.

Yeah.

And that was actually a pretty poor list.

Pretty annoyed about how that came out.

But this week, game to game, we will be speaking about

and ranking the worst modifications, I believe.

Visual modifications.

Okay.

Sure.

So I've gone through and I've made a list of what I think

and what I think you think are the worst visual modifications.

Where do stretchy ties and rusted arches come on that?

And like blue paint?

Let's just...

Well, I'll rust the arches and I'll mod it.

I think it's on there.

I was teasing Ben about what's on his list.

So have you got this?

He went, yeah.

He went, yeah, and then went...

So visual mods only.

So like pops and bangs.

I did have pops and bangs.

Then you decide you want a visual as we discussed.

Sorry, speak of stage draw.

You decided you want a visual.

I heard it at McDonald's earlier and you said...

So that could be next week.

It could be next year.

Sure.

We don't know.

I have 13.

Okay.

That's not helpful for a top 10, if I'm honest.

Can it be top 13?

So it'll be top 13.

Why not?

And we are going to...

You're going to give them to us and we will rank them blind.

We'll do 10.

Great.

I'm happy with 13.

All right, we'll do 13.

This is what TDC is all day, by the way.

This is...

It's just a shout-in and share-out.

Top 13 worst modifications.

Blind ranking.

Yeah.

So the way this works, listeners, is that if they put in...

If I say Will's mods, I don't know, something.

I don't know, something.

A mod they don't like and they say,

number one, that's my worst mod.

That's locked in.

Nothing could go better.

If something worse than that comes up, tough.

Hey, that's the...

We'll see where it goes.

Right, number one.

F1 rain light.

Ooh, tough.

Really not a fan.

Difficult to rate something or something.

You've got one through 13 is free.

But realistically, not...

There's going to be some worse ones.

So, awesome.

I think as a mod.

Do you know what I think maybe?

I think this maybe starts at like a six,

because it's middle of the road,

and then we can gauge the rest of them from worse,

or better than that.

Seven?

Seven's like...

Gives us some space.

It's not halfway,

because we can't actually physically do halfway.

No, because Ben's been this stupid list.

So...

Right, let's do that then.

Number seven.

Number seven is F1 rain light.

Oh, Ben, just texting on his phone, is he?

And our next one...

See, in the list, Big, could we get the next one?

So, we can think about it while you message...

Okay, the next one is going to be...

Wheels.

But no lows.

So, you're putting art market wheels in your car,

but you're not lowering it.

You're keeping the standard fitment.

You know what?

It really upsets me.

It upsets me, but I think that you have to identify cause,

and what they mean by it.

Okay.

Could they only afford the wheels at the time being,

and next month means they're getting those?

That's fine.

It doesn't matter.

Or have you put the wheels on and you go?

That's fine.

You've just seen the car.

You don't know what the...

For that reason, I think it's possibly ranks low.

Is it...

Wait, what?

As in it ranks?

It's not that.

It's relatively inoffensive, but it depends on your, you know, intent.

See, to me, it's more...

Is it annoying?

More annoying than rain lights?

What if though, you see someone has a delicious set of T37s on their car,

but they haven't quite got around to lowering it.

That's my biggest issue, because you were so close.

You had everything and you let it fall.

But you don't know that next week.

You do not know that next week, Lo's.

But how do you know that?

But this is the thing, you're making assumptions here.

And that makes an ass out of me and you.

No, not ass, ass, but sure.

Assume.

Right.

I want to say...

I want to go in at five.

Oh, I would have put in lower, but I'd be happy to meet you at five.

I think it's harsh on some,

but I think there are many that deserve five or more.

Yeah.

Okay.

Next one on the list.

We've got Big Stance Camber.

We're talking where we're going like 10 degrees of camber.

You know what?

This ranks highly for me.

I hear it.

I can't.

I know everyone was saying respect all builds and none all.

If our tastes were all the same, it would be boring.

That looks like ass.

Like a one you are destroying.

Your car drives like ass, like actual feces.

The car drives like she eat.

And it looks like ass.

And you're going through tires at a rate of knots.

What's cool?

Just swap them round, mate.

What's cool here?

You got the other inside of the tire.

I don't get it.

Three or four?

Because we've got to leave one and two.

There's going to be something worse.

Oh, I could go two.

But I'd be willing to say three.

If I'm four and then you're two.

Three, but just know if it's you, I could easily see you at one or two.

Okay.

Especially me planning little things with my friends.

Especially if it's salt.

If it's not solid static.

Static.

If you think it's no air ride.

Yeah, but it's no air ride.

Why would you do that?

It's like me saying, you know what?

You're an idiot because you walk by bending your knees.

I'm walking straight.

I'm walking straight leg and there's no cut at all.

I'm straight up smashing bone on bone.

Fantastic.

But not because they've had any sort of medical issue.

They've just gone, I think it's cooler.

I think it's cooler.

I think it's better.

All right.

Bent legger.

More like you straight legger.

It's just stupid.

You're a stupid, stupid trend and it needs to do that.

I don't see it very often though.

No, I will say that.

Disappearing more and more.

Thankfully, because they can't make it.

They don't make it.

And they don't make it.

So that's three Ben we've locked in.

Next up, chameleon tint.

Annoying, but not that high up for me.

It's normally joined by other mods.

When I'm thinking it has to hover around the F1 light.

I'm going to say something.

I think a chameleon tint is an accoutrement.

It's an addition to a bad build anyway.

A whole car can't be made bad by a chameleon tint,

if that makes sense.

It's not nice looking,

but it's something that adds on to an already terrible car.

You know, a car with a lot of stance plus chameleon tint.

That's a multiplier.

That's a 2x multiplier.

But on his own, just a bit annoying.

Double points.

I'm saying I want to go like 10 on that.

Eight, nine.

Okay, nine.

We need the middle nine.

Let's run that.

Then I have no idea what numbers we have left.

I'll tell you.

I'm not going to be completely lost.

I'll tell you now.

This is why 13 was not great.

Well, it's my list.

We've got what, 10 left still.

So we're now into a top 10.

I think we've done like four or five.

No, you've got nine left.

You've got four.

So we've got right now one clear, two clear, three big stance camber.

We've got four clear, five wheels no lows,

six clear, seven F1 rain light, eight clear,

chameleon tint at nine and then 10, 11, 12, 13.

Okay, we've got a top, top available on the bottom.

So next up is lows, but no wheels.

It's a grip.

Now, less offensive.

What do you mean?

So we've lowered the car, but it's on standard wheels.

Standard wheels.

Okay, standard fitment.

Standard wheels.

That's important.

So it's everything but your actual physical coil and spring.

What does that mean?

No, it has coil and spring.

It has coil overs, but nothing else.

Right.

So you can bring it down.

You can't bring it out with a spacer.

Less offensive.

It's an opportunity is missed, but nowhere near as bad as wheels,

but without the right fit.

I think it could look worse.

It can.

Because I think a car that's at standard ride height and is an

equipment has been sorted.

It's standard.

It is what it is.

This is somewhat vanilla.

If you decided to lower it.

Now, again, some people will say the drivers among you will say,

I have learned the center of gravity and I fitted a set of racing shock absorbers

so I can go around corners faster.

And I have appreciated the fact that adding spaces will ruin my geometry

and will mean all the tramlining all over the road.

That will be that.

Those people in some cases, but also it looks like ass.

If you lower it.

A load like your tucking wheel on a standard fitment like sunken wheel with standard,

you know, wheels, then it's not then it's then that's quite offensive.

But on the on the most part, it's I think it's less offensive than wheels without suspension.

I'd like to go in at like 11 or 12.

11.

Okay.

Lovely.

Next up, tinted lights.

It can be front or rear.

Just any kind of tinted light.

They really, they really do upset me.

I'll be honest.

They are very really odd.

Is that some manufacturers have a sort of smoked light and I don't mind it.

But they but there's some it's like it's like aftermarket window tint

where you can see the bubbles.

You can see that it's a film.

Yeah.

It's not like having a tinted glass where you see that that was glass designed to be tinted.

It is a tinted glass.

But like tinted lights, aftermarket tinted lights are the whole unit is dark.

It just works less.

It just doesn't you don't it's not doing anything anymore.

You just now have a black box on the back of your car that glows red vaguely.

Yeah.

There's no point in this.

What you're doing, you've just taken away any design language that they built into the light.

You've taken away functionality of the light.

You've made it worse.

What's the point in this?

Especially bad when it's a really dark tin and you've basically made the light black.

Yeah.

Where you then have a car that is hasn't as yet to be unlocked.

That I don't understand.

People go for that like full blacked out effect and you again, you can't see anything either.

Choppers whoppers.

What we got like around six?

We got anything around there?

Seven is seven free.

We've got no seven has F1 rain light.

Buyers and wheels no lows.

Six is free.

Six feels it's in the same sort of area as an F1 rain light.

But it's almost more idiotic.

Yeah.

So perhaps six.

I think six is nice.

Okay.

Next up.

Sticker slogans.

So when someone puts some stupid, what is the classic sports mind?

Yeah.

Clowns.

That's a stupid slogan.

That's pretty cool.

Good branding really, I think.

Will be available soon.

It's a good one.

They are almost never.

And when I say almost, I mean certainly always never funny.

No.

Especially if it's a sarcastic one.

That PD inside, am I right?

PD of five inside.

Okay.

That's nice.

I think it might need to go near the like lower end.

Yeah.

It is somewhat harmless.

I'm not a sticker man.

No.

I don't like stickers.

On the low end, you have eight, 10, 12 and 13.

Maybe 12.

12.

I thought we had a 12.

What's at 11?

What's Lowe's No Wheels?

So I need to know what's around it.

Oh yeah.

Lowe's No Wheels.

I think it's less offensive.

It is it.

Because it is just a sticker.

It's somewhat reversible.

It's also, it depends.

I have fitted one actual sticker that had slogan on it.

And what was it?

And it was on my fiesta.

I hated them then and I came across it and I thought, that's funny.

It wasn't.

It said, how is my driving?

Oh.

Let my mum know.

She worries.

And I was on the back of my fiesta and it was the only sticker I had on that car.

What about the one on the fiesta that was a baby on board?

Brackets, me, I'm crying.

Yes, the famous.

Yes, that was good.

So it's stuff like that.

That, if that don't, let's not do that.

Okay.

12.

Guys in at 12.

12.

Next up on our list, we have got quilted interior mats.

That's a tough one.

That's not what you have available.

What we got near that.

You've got one, two, you got one, two, four, eight, 10 and 13.

It's feeling full for me.

It's feeling full.

It doesn't feel, I'm not hating it enough to be at one or two.

No, but it's four.

We've had a car recently come in, a secret car that has got that.

But every time I see it, it makes me shudder.

It makes me want to start swinging.

I'll be honest.

I'm burning it.

And it's probably, it's probably worth some money because of the car it's in.

It's probably quite sought after.

I'm burning it.

I'm setting it on fire.

It's never, it's always deemed as a like, it's custom upholstery.

It's just a mat shoved in a car and you can still see the edges.

You can see where it ends.

You can see where it folds and it moves around.

It's never, ever good.

I'm going to extend myself.

Okay.

What does that mean then?

Yeah.

I believe, I used to like it.

I believe all, nearly all diamond quilting in any form of car interior,

whether it's from a manufacturer or not, is bad.

I would agree.

Okay.

I would agree.

If not for?

If not for Bentley.

No, because it's bad.

I, that's, that's, I used to think the same.

But in a, in an early continental, but like there's some of the

Continentals where it's just a little bit more subtle.

I don't mind it.

I hate it.

I used to love it.

I used to diamond stitching.

Used to be like a Lamborghini stitching, a diamond stitching era

makes me want to bomb it.

Diamond stitching is a cheap nightclub.

Yeah.

It's, it's, it's horrible.

It's nasty.

What's the headboard mean?

What's that then?

Yeah, the mean, the buttons in the headboard.

That, oh, a chest of field.

And not a chest of field, the bed.

I've got that.

Crushed velvet.

Oh, that's what that is.

It's crushed velvet and neons on my, not white LEDs on my house.

Yeah.

Okay.

So that's in at where?

This is a cream podcast, the judging episode four.

I'd say four is a solid, you could easily be higher because again,

your property, you are harboring enemies of the state.

Other, other mods.

Yeah, exactly.

You're going to get very upset about this one.

On your car.

What's this all this then?

Painted brake drums.

It's tough.

You know what is tough, but it's not that offensive because

I thought you'd have more intense reactions to that.

Do you know what is?

Okay.

Sometimes they're really bad when they're red.

Like, come on, man.

What are you doing?

But do you know what a painted brake drum is a sign of a novice?

Oh, hold on though.

It has to be like a color.

It can't be black.

No, no, no, I know.

That's what I mean.

I'm saying, but it's the sign of someone who hasn't yet understood the goal.

If that makes sense.

It's a first mod.

It's something you do without knowing.

You haven't got budget.

Why it makes sense.

Someone goes, yeah, break out.

I'll make my break for red then.

So it's, you know what it is?

It's a little bit innocent.

There's no older choppers doing this.

Who's going?

If there are, it's bad, but it's unlikely.

It's unlikely.

I will let it off lightly.

What have we got on the?

I put it at the, is it 30?

I'll let it prop the table up.

Wow.

You're 8, 10 and 13.

I think 13 feels right.

I thought you'd have a much more intense reaction to that.

It's not great to see.

It doesn't fill me with rage by seeing a quilted floor mat.

Okay.

Next one.

Stretch ties.

Again, it kind of, it's intertwined with the stance geeks.

But, but then you've got, do you know what?

I'm, let's all be honest here.

Let's all have, you know, Ben's smile.

I can see it.

It actually upsets me more on your car

than it does on a stance car.

Because on a stance car, it has a function.

The function is to get the widest possible wheels

and then stretch your ties in so it still fits under the arch.

But when you have a car that is at a height

that it could have chunky tires, it's worse.

Who would do that?

But yours was not done out of, out of.

Fenham.

Out of deliberosity.

No, it was done out of necessity.

It was done out of, oh, these are actually quite stretch ties

and I didn't mean that.

And I will, I will be changing it.

Exactly.

Because it upsets me great.

But it will, now this is going to go against everything I said

about stance cars.

But there is a level.

There was a, there was a point you passed.

Perhaps it's a camber setting.

Perhaps there is a, there is a degree at which when you go past

and I go, no.

Seven and a half thousand, I have no interest.

Seven and a half degrees, possibly.

But where, you know, when someone,

especially if it's on air or even maybe if it is static

and it sits just right on the wheel and it's stretched,

I can get, you know what, a level of craftsmanship

or our time and effort and research and attempting things

has got into this.

So I can appreciate it.

I would never do it to my car because I don't understand.

It makes it worse.

I don't understand why.

Yeah.

But I can say that someone has,

someone didn't just buy the wheels and put them on the car.

Didn't just buy wheels and buy suspension and put them on the car.

There was a, there was some work that had to go into it.

So I can understand that.

But stretch, also some stretch tires are just dumb.

Yeah, they really are bad.

When you see some tire shops like people trying to fit them

with a time machine.

Wow, wow, we were.

Ben, what have you got left?

One, four, eight, 10?

Hold on.

I feel like I can't.

One, two, eight, 10.

Sorry, one.

One, two, eight, 10.

I think two, I think it's somewhere in reality between two and eight.

But we can't do that.

Famously the point.

So I think we go eight.

Eight's fine by me.

So we've got one, two and 10 left.

One, two, one, two and 10 remaining.

It's tough one.

What could come next?

We're going to have carbon fiber.

No, you know what?

It's, I don't know if it can be one for me.

But two, it could be.

It could also be 10.

Because it also feels like that it's, I can't afford it.

My budget's low, but I like carbon.

So I'm going to make that mistake at a young age.

It's also true.

It's trying because it could be tasteful design.

Yeah, true.

Now, I don't know what you've got to come.

Also, there are levels.

There are levels to fake carbon.

Because there are ones like we took off the M140i,

which have the weave is literally, it's all over the shop.

And there are ones that just kind of look vaguely like actual carbon, but aren't.

Now, when you say fake carbon, are we putting wrap in there?

Uh, that would count.

Yeah, that's bad.

Because I've done it.

You did, yeah.

But I'd never do it again.

But as a younger, as a young job, I went,

well, I've got trims in my car, haven't I?

So I've got carbon.

I have to wrap them in carbon, won't I?

It's also, it's not.

It's rather the Benz carbon go around the corner.

If you put, I would, I know I can't say anything.

Because it's not, I'm the judge here.

Of course, yeah.

But what if I was to advise you, I would personally say that if you're going to,

if you're going to-

No, no, no, you can't do this.

Can't do this.

You can't do this.

If you're going to say-

No, you have to, you have to let us make our mistakes, Ben.

Let them lay land, lay land.

But you were talking about people like painting break drums,

is being like an obvious mistake.

Of course.

You're putting that low, then this will be low as well.

One, two, and ten.

It's a big gamble.

I'm willing to do it if you want to do it.

Lock it in ten, Ben.

On it.

So one and two.

We have to hope that these are some ruffians.

Remaining final two.

What?

Fake vents.

It's a good, it's tough.

That's quite tough.

I'm quite happy with that.

It does feel similar to the carbon thing.

But it is, I've never felt the need to do it.

Vents are, Vents are, you are choosing that there's no,

there's no innocence in that.

Yeah.

There are.

I want to make this look bad.

I'm making a judgment.

Yeah.

I am making the judge.

I'm seeing that.

Do you know what?

Sometimes maybe it's a fraud thing or a voxel thing,

where like you actually cut it into the bonnet and you,

you aren't doing it for function.

You're doing it because everyone else is doing it

and because you think it looks cool.

If you have just stuck it on.

Yeah, full stick on.

It's tough.

In interests of, I think this is possibly exactly how

the last list went, is that we left one till very last.

Perhaps on the next one, we'll just pick one first.

No, no, straight away, whatever it is.

So are we locking in at two?

I think, you know, it's, we can only, we can only find out.

Oh, we put that one at one.

All right, let's do it.

And we live with regret.

Let's let the game.

Fake vents.

The number one worst modification you could ever make

and do you know what?

If someone said that to me, I'd go, yeah, potentially.

That could be potentially bad.

That means the final one that you didn't know about,

what is it?

Wind deflectors.

Now, you know what?

Now, here's the thing.

I think this is played out perfectly.

Because for me, it could be one,

but realistically, most people actually,

the majority of people quite like them for some reason.

You've had wind deflectors.

So I think it's perfect that this fits too.

It's not the worst, but in our, in our company, it's bad.

Less offensive than a fake vent.

Yeah, much less offensive.

I'm still making some judgment,

but I'll go, do you know what?

I've been there.

I love, I, I, I hate them with just such all my heart and soul.

I think people's argument is that,

and I can kind of get it from using them,

that you can have the window open

when it's ever so slightly raining.

Yeah.

You can do that anyway.

Here's something for you.

Don't do that.

Have your window closed when it's raining.

Have your, have your heating system in your car work

so that you do not need your window open when it is raining.

Do you in your house open your windows when it's raining?

Do you, do you just open the lid to your bin

so it just gets wet in there?

What are you doing?

Don't do that.

Stop doing that.

And it looks shit.

So your final list is this.

Yeah.

Number 13, painted brake drums.

Fair.

Number 12, sticker slogans.

Number 11, lows with no wheels.

10, fake carbon fiber, nine chameleon tint.

Eight stretch tires, seven F1 rain light.

Six tinted lights, five wheels, no lows.

Four quilted mats, three big stance camber,

and two wind deflectors, and finally one fake vents.

I think we've, I've done well.

I think wheels without loads and loads out wheels

could probably be closer together.

Yeah.

I think they're a little bit too far either end of the spectrum.

But I'm pretty happy with that.

I'm pretty happy.

I'm pretty proud of you guys.

I think it was better than the last one.

Yes.

It was more well thought out.

Because we had to do it.

We had to do it.

We had been inevitably the mods that we've missed out.

Sure.

Mainly because Ben came up with that list,

but I will say Ben there.

Good list.

Thanks.

Yeah, good stuff, Ben.

And it's really lovely to know that you came up

with that completely on your own.

Yeah.

Despite asking us 15 times,

if we could please tell you which ones.

Anyway, so what's the week?

Let's end with a want of the week.

Will, Will, what's yours?

What's my want?

I got, I got, there's one,

yeah, everyone knows what that one is.

What is it?

We don't need to talk about that.

What is it?

It's, it's, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the,

the big, the big, it must yell ago.

Yeah.

Must yell ago.

That is how you say it.

But other than that, which is obviously 159s in there.

Yeah.

But do you know what?

A 159 with a twist, a 159 that doesn't exist.

I want, I want the 159 that should have always been.

She's a V6 or a V8?

Yeah, V8 would be cool.

A 159 with a Maserati V8 would really tickle my pickle.

It really would be a stupenda.

DCT?

Would you have that manual?

I'd be happy to have a like a gated manual.

Would be stupendous or.

Yeah.

What if we cut, what if we were to cut the floor pan of a,

like a Quattroporte or a Gran Turismo might be closer and then put the body of a 159 over it?

Oh, okay.

He choked thinking about how.

He choked me up thinking about that.

We need to have a Gran Turismo though and a Quattroporte.

We don't have that.

And a 159 as well.

We don't have that.

We don't have one of those.

Any of those, do we?

No, no, 159.

But also still lingering in the background because I'm still in

car limbo at the moment is Mark 1 RS's.

Lovely.

And any, any, any other form of Ford?

I went towards this this morning when I was on the way into the unit.

I was following a, I don't know what the blue is.

A blue.

Imperial blue.

The darker blue.

Yep.

Focus RS.

But I'm Mark 2, Mark 2.

I'm Mark 2, that's not.

I was like, I drive in and I was like, that's Will.

Will's bought a new daily and then the guy was going so slow.

I thought, that's not Will.

You thought I just bought a car.

He was doing 70 miles a day.

Yeah, he's doing 70 in a 60.

I thought that's way too low.

It's like, I thought it was you.

I thought you just bought yourself a new daily.

But no, a Ford of some variety, still the little like an escort or something.

And also a car would be lovely.

Should we just anything really at this point?

And also perhaps him.

Well, he would say, again, he exists always.

I can't ever, one day it'll be here.

Maybe one day.

Well, oh, Ben's bought a mercy market.

I bought a mercy market.

No, I had a very enlightening experience at supercar driver last week.

I attracted to Edwin and I have decided something.

Yes.

I think we did talk about this last episode.

No, we didn't.

We were going to come back to it.

We didn't come back to it.

Oh, okay, okay.

I told you we were getting too off topic.

Retention, isn't it?

Yes, retention for a week.

Come on, next week.

My dream car has changed.

Okay, so it's no longer.

I don't understand that.

It's not changed.

It doesn't work like that.

This is the dream car of a man who doesn't dream.

It's been confirmed.

I've decided.

Who confirmed it?

Is it like a third party source?

Actually a very helpful conversation.

I've been thinking about it.

I've been telling a lot of people.

So now it is, I have actually.

Random people in this room.

So what conversation do we have?

I said to you.

Because you pitched it better than I did.

I said, wait, hold on.

I might need to think about this.

We were discussing, Edwin said to me,

basically, my dream car or my car would be a manual.

That's it.

I remembered it.

I remember that.

Aston Martin V12, aren't it?

Yes.

And I said to Ben, you buy your Aston Martin V12.

You get the money for it.

You get it together.

But you realize at this point in your life,

that's it.

You've now got other commitments.

You're probably going to be buying a house.

You've got kids or what sort of stuff.

The billions have gone.

They've been taken by the government and by you.

There's cameras.

There's not going to happen.

I'll wait again.

So the V12 Vantage is the last big car you're ever going to buy.

Which would be good.

Not to be ungrateful, but that would be what you would end on.

Yes.

Would there be a part of you that was disappointed

that you didn't make it onto an Aventador?

Yes.

And you were upset?

I was upset.

I thought about it and it hit me when you said that.

I then said, now you've got an Aventador.

It's the final big purchase you ever make.

Could you die knowing that that was the last big car you had?

Absolutely.

And there it is.

So that's it.

Because the V12 Vantage comes in with the thing I want to do with the tunnel

and I want to wear a suit.

I don't know why.

I just want to do that.

Always the suit.

Always the suit would be cool.

But when you see one, when you see a V12 Vantage, does it make you...

It does.

Does it make you feel like a very small boy?

No.

It makes me feel excited.

Okay.

In a grown-up way.

Yes.

We should go bloody hell.

That's nice to watch.

Oh, lovely car.

Frightful amount of road tax on that.

I'd certainly buy one of those if I had the money.

But the end store makes me feel like a giggly little guy again.

There it is.

And I thought...

And at that moment, I was like, you know what?

That is the guy.

And it's been...

It was the first car I ever liked.

It's the car that I will always stare at.

There was one at Food and Fuel last year.

And I just couldn't stop looking at it.

Shout out Tom.

Shout out Horsepower Hunters.

And so I've decided that's my want of the life.

Can I get an age, please?

30.

Aventador by 30.

Come on.

They'll be on the depreciation curve possibly.

I think buy 35.

I'd like one.

35.

That's the 11 years.

The big A doors going up on this drive.

And it's going to be...

There are two specs.

Well, this was the...

I think the way that you know that it's real

is that I said to Ben, what if it was a normal Aventador?

Would you care if it was not an SV?

And he went, no.

I said, what if it was an SV?

And it wasn't an SVJ?

And he went, I don't care.

I would like an SVJ.

Of course.

But of course, but actually an LP700, the early boys.

Or a white one.

A white one?

Like a white stuff?

That is not what I was expecting.

No.

A white one with the roadster wheels.

Yeah.

I saw one with very subtle yellow calipers.

I've seen that.

And I thought, that is great.

Or I would actually like, if it was a roadster,

a...

You know the orange spec?

The roadster...

Which isn't very Lamborghini.

It's a little...

Like baby blue metallic with the beige cream interior.

Which isn't very Lamborghini.

It's not very loud, but I like that.

No, but it is very Lamborghini.

Israeli Lamborghini roadster.

So there's your...

That's early, early event at all.

But that's got the...

I will say, I know that the SVJ, the SVJ,

they're going to be worth more money,

the more special, the faster, the more power.

But I actually think the shape without wing,

that event or silhouette as it sits.

Like, look at that.

That's...

When you add a wing to it, I think it interrupts...

I agree.

Agreed.

That shape is...

Wow.

It is very nice.

You know what?

And I was not...

I was not always a Lamborghini man,

well, I was never a Lamborghini man

other than the Murcielago.

The Murcielago for me was the one exception to me.

But I remember when the event at all came out,

I had a wallpaper of a Viola Aphelia event at all

for a long time, early one, just a 700.

And the shape of it is unmatched.

I think they will be worth one day a lot and a lot of money.

Because the Murcielago is special to quite a small demographic of people

and they're now quite in.

They're quite influencer to be like,

oh, look, the Murcielago.

But everyone loves an event at all.

But this is the last non-hybrid V12.

Obviously, it's not manual,

which is why the Murcielago is special.

But these, because it is non-hybrid, it's like the last...

The last real kind of big V12 Lamborghini.

It's just there.

There are older ones that I think are better, but...

Sorry, this was...

You first.

I can't...

Well, it's a 200 pixel thing, but look at that.

That is cool.

That's such a good color.

I've sent you on...

Oh, go on the cream podcast chat on Slack.

It's a real...

I saw the other day, I liked it of...

I don't know who made it.

Sorry, I can't give you a credit.

But...

Just do it.

I took a screenshot of it, which I've just sent to you,

which that is that is...

If I had a number one, it's this spec.

If I had a roadster, it's the spec you just saw.

And if you're listening,

Imagine an event that's doing two different colors.

That is quite special.

Those wheels changed again.

Also, I'm not a big fan of color calipers,

but yellow calipers on that, that's big for me.

That's lovely.

You are on that UAE spec.

You're on that device.

I don't care.

That's fantastic.

You need to get a white event at all.

Unfortunately, what comes with it is a red interior.

And that's happening.

You don't get a choice in that matter.

It's coming with tints all around.

I might have a roadster in the silver, blue with the tan interior.

That's a roadster.

It's one of the few times I will accept.

It's not really convertible, to be fair.

But something where the roof comes off, I will accept it.

We agreed it's a target, is what it is.

It's a little thin section of roof that comes off

between your front windscreen and your rear.

And do you know what?

It's not fulfilling the wind in your hair.

It's for the noise.

Yes, it's for the sounds.

That with big now.

But you are also, you want the high pitch,

the Gintani spec.

But it can be done.

It can be done.

I like the...

It can be done.

For me, it's possible.

I was doing research seven nights.

Oh, I was trying to find out.

For your event at all.

You know every SVJ has the flames.

I'm not talking like a pop in a bang.

We're talking like it spits a fireball for three seconds.

I found out what that is.

I can't remember any of it.

But I did find it.

I saved it on my phone in case.

You know what? This is why you come to the Korean podcast,

because we might have information.

Because Ben was out.

I've done some research.

And what that was is, it's beyond me.

But there's many ways you can do it.

But there is like one kit everyone has,

which is the one you always saw on Instagram,

with them flying past.

Yes.

And I can't remember any of it now, which is great.

Well, Gintani.

No, it's not Gintani.

It's a different brand.

But it's something to do with,

it gets rid of like the valves.

So it has.

Oh, valve flow.

No.

Because they have valves from factory,

but part of it, the reason that it flames so easily

is because when you put like a Gintani on it,

effectively, when you go and course them

on the track mode, it opens the valves all the time.

So when you put these exhausts on,

they delete the valves.

And then you are basically in normal driving mode,

but it always has coarser exhaust.

Big flame McGee.

You get a lot of heat in there.

So I can't remember what the liquid kit is called,

but it's at 20 grand.

So you've got that on order.

Ready for that?

I don't understand the values of exhausts on Supercars.

It's funny.

It's like, maybe they are slightly more advanced

because there's, you know, there's more to get around.

But it's always less pipe.

Yeah, there's less.

But it's always like, we were at unknown place recently,

and they're talking about, I think it was F50 exhaust.

In F50 exhaust.

It's like, an F50 exhaust, like a standard one.

You're talking in excess of 50,000 pounds.

He said, the guy, this guy managed just to now have

this Tubi exhaust for either $17,000 or $27,000.

And he was like, it's an amazing deal he got on that.

That's crazy.

Sorry, why are we not just cutting back boxes out of things?

I also, I looked, okay, I can't remember the name of the brand is,

but the one that I found, when they have on the website,

just a photo of the whole exhaust,

it's like three feet of just pipe in like a relatively...

Rich can dirt.

Trust me, I mean, I'm like,

should he just take it to you and drop the Aventador off at Rich?

It's an interesting video.

See if you can recreate it.

We just need someone Aventador is willing to let it be chopped up.

Also, if SVJ exhaust is higher slightly,

so they're not at the bottom.

Possibly, it's slightly shorter, I don't know.

Possibly.

It's a bit like our 600LT, they literally have.

The amount of pipe they have is very small.

Well, say massive really, but...

I haven't seen, it's the ones that are spit.

You can get flames from Aventador quite easily,

like it's bits of flame, but what I'm talking like,

it's bits of three second long, almost flame kits back there.

I like the flames where it's not like a lift off flame.

It's when you're on the throttle.

It is a need for speed nitrous spec flame.

Which you can get from...

Much McLaren's do as well, and it's just...

Again, people will say that you're childish,

but if a car shoots flame organically,

and it doesn't have a spark plug in it or something,

I'm about it, I'm hearing it.

I like what you're doing, I love your work.

If you can get...

So, it's the SVJ and the Aventador Ultimate,

whoever is the final one,

both have that mid-mounted exhaust on the rear,

and only those ones do the big, big flames.

The rest you get a flame from quite easily.

The one you're talking about where you just accelerate and it goes,

you can get from a normal Aventador.

Yeah, just normal Aventador going hard.

There is a...

I have a video of one doing the classic.

Why is that called?

Flames.

Yeah, why is that?

Just to...

I find it funny because imagine like a regular person

seeing that come past you.

You'd think that the world's ending.

The video you showed me the other day,

which was literally a 97 foot flame

coming out the back of the Aventador.

If you were Doris going down the road,

you would have heart failure.

People have probably seen it because it's like...

I've got millions of views,

but it's a guy who pulls up in a tunnel alongside

and lifts off through at the same time,

and it just goes...

What? It just stops.

I'm going to say, imagine just being on your way to work

and seeing that mental.

I mean, it's like a badge of honour.

Anyone who's had a car that can shoot a flame,

you reach a new level in your own life where you go,

I have had a car or now own a car that can shoot a flame

basically on demand, and I figured out how to do it.

It doesn't matter how shit the car is.

If it spits flames, you'll call them the person

that doesn't spit flames.

This is the classic video, which is Hog with the early car,

just doing ultimate...

That's fighter jet.

Yeah.

That's what's going to outer space.

A car accelerating with blue flames firing out the exhaust,

why is that?

There has to be some sort of psychological reason

why that's cool to everyone.

Anything other than Aventador,

it's not related to the exhaust,

is it doesn't have the wing thing.

The back wings.

The vents.

They have it, but they don't...

A little triangle.

I think they missed out on that.

Yeah.

Because that was an unbelievable design thing on the Merci Lago

and then the Aventador, it was like,

here's a couple of flaps.

A couple of flaps that you won't really notice as much,

whereas the Merci Lago, it was like, when they're up,

we're out here.

I'm angry out here.

Will knows about this,

but my one to the week might be happening.

What is it, Ben?

What's my one to the week?

It's always happening.

Is it a Ferrari?

No, not that.

That's a plume of pants.

No, no, no, no, no.

What's the other one of the week?

The one that he's beat, he's come and gone,

but he's always there.

He's from...

He's from England.

He's in English, which is rough,

because I've already bought a TVR,

which means two English cars, not a good way to...

I always look at you going...

What's you like?

Ben, come on now.

What's the car that suits me more than any other car on earth?

Ben's going Volkswagen Beetle.

What car is it?

Ben, you know this.

What car? English?

Yeah.

Oh, a range of a classic.

Is it happening?

A perfect spec one has come up for sale

just a few minutes away from my mate,

Will of Estee's Customs,

who is a Land Rover and Ranger of a specialist.

He is going tomorrow morning to have a look at it.

So we will find out.

It's probably going to be a rule next week,

if it's not happening.

You didn't tell me this.

No, it happened on the weekend.

Wow.

So he's going to have a look at it tomorrow.

And if it's good.

We can't trust Edwin anymore.

No, I'm doing all sorts of sneaky stuff.

He's going to come in next week and go...

But he is...

I love a Denzer.

I go...

I'm the name's Klingerberg.

Edwin Klingerberg.

It is a black, hard dash, so not soft dash,

on factory air suspension,

which is quite rare and quite sort of.

Quite tough.

No, no, it's pretty simple, that system.

And black interior with a bit of a project.

So I'm so excited.

I'm so excited.

Some of the aliens are going to go crazy.

That's my one.

You're on Will I Get to Work Challenge.

Yeah, I'm too enamoured by the TVR to want anything else

at the moment.

So that's the only thing I was thinking of.

Woke up Saturday morning, bang,

Facebook Marketplace,

first scroll of the morning.

And there it was.

So, I think we're getting a little bit delirious.

We're going to choose this moment to wrap up.

Ben's scared because the camera's going to turn off.

Thank you very much for listening to this episode of the Cream Podcast.

We will see you next week with updates galore.

Oh, yes.

Cream gets a door.

Ben's buying an event stool.

A vent.

That's right.

A door.

0:00

84:26

C.R.E.A.M. #77 - Ranking The Worst Car Mods, BYD Bond and Quail

starter motor issue

Honda S2000

dailies

Ford Focus

Volkswagen Golf

Ford Fiesta

Alfa Romeo 159

CarVertical

V6

Vauxhall

gearbox

two-litre diesel

Rosso

150,000 mile car

2010 BMW 535i

low-mileage used-car pricing

Facebook Marketplace

rear wing

show car

Alpina

photoshopped

LiDAR scanner

electric cars

F1 drivers

Monterey Car Week

coil overs

sticker slogans

baby on board

diamond quilting

painted brake drums

wheel arch

wrap

About this episode

Original notes