Company
Progressive Insurance
Progressive is an insurance company for car owners. They’re saying you might pay less for your car insurance if you qualify for their discounts.
Term
car insurance
Car insurance is a policy that helps cover financial losses from accidents, theft, and other covered events. The segment focuses on how switching providers can change your premium based on eligibility for discounts.
Term
Potential savings will vary
Insurance savings are not guaranteed and depend on your personal situation and location. The segment also notes that discounts may not be available in all states or circumstances.
Company
AutoTrader
AutoTrader is a website/app where you can browse car listings from dealers. It helps you filter cars so you can find ones that match what you want.
Car
Lotus Evora
The Lotus Evora is a sports car made by Lotus. It’s designed to feel sporty and agile, with the engine placed in the middle for better balance. The podcast mentions it in the context of a higher-performance Evora.
Term
cruise control
Cruise control keeps the car at the speed you set. You don’t have to keep your foot on the gas.
Term
forward collision radar
This is a sensor in the front of the car that looks ahead for other cars. If it thinks you’re going to hit something, it can warn you or even help slow the car down.
Term
lightweight composites
Composites are special materials that can be strong but much lighter than metal. Using them helps a sports car feel quicker and more agile.
Brand
Alpine
Alpine is a sports-car brand best known for the A110. In this chat, they’re talking about how Alpine builds its reputation and fan base.
Brand
Caterham
Caterham makes very lightweight, fun-to-drive sports cars that enthusiasts love. When they compare to Caterham, they’re basically saying “this is the kind of car people buy for the driving experience.”
Brand
TVR
TVR is a British sports-car brand with a loyal fan base. They’re hinting they want to talk more about TVR’s kind of quirky, enthusiast-driven approach.
Car
Francis Barnett Cruiser 80
This is a British motorcycle model called the Francis Barnett Cruiser 80. The “80” is basically its engine-size class, and it was the kind of bike people used for normal riding back when it was new.
Term
Fanny B
“Fanny B” is just a nickname for the motorcycle. It’s how the family referred to it in everyday conversation.
Term
frantic bayonet
“Frantic bayonet” is another nickname for the same bike. They’re jokingly calling it that instead of the earlier nickname.
Company
Eagle Specialist Vehicles
They’re talking about a company called Eagle Specialist Vehicles. The episode says it’s about to stop operating and has been put into administration, which can mean support and parts may become harder to get.
Car
hearse
A hearse is a special car used for funerals. It’s usually designed to carry a coffin, and it often looks very traditional.
Concept
funeral car
A “funeral car” is a vehicle used to transport the deceased and/or family during a funeral procession. The speaker is discussing how certain car shapes and styling cues (classic luxury vs. modern/modified) influence whether people perceive the vehicle as appropriate or odd.
Term
name your price tool
This is a Progressive feature where you pick the price you want to pay for insurance. Then it shows options that might fit that budget.
Concept
fleet
A fleet just means a bunch of cars used for a business. If they’re already working well and don’t cost much to keep running, the business may keep them longer instead of buying new ones.
Term
bonnet
A “bonnet” is the hood of the car. The point being made is that you don’t have to open it as often to keep the car going.
Part
gearbox
A gearbox is the part that lets the car use different gears. Removing it is usually hard work, so the story is emphasizing how unusual (and impressive) the lady’s DIY effort was.
Brand
BMW
BMW is a German automaker known for performance-focused engineering and a wide range of model “series” (like 3 Series, 5 Series, etc.). When the transcript mentions “five series BMs,” it’s referring to BMW’s model lineup organized by those series names.
Concept
part-sharing
Part-sharing is when different car models use common components—like engines, transmissions, or interior parts—to reduce cost and simplify manufacturing. The transcript suggests BMW models share parts across the lineup, which can matter for repairs and availability of parts.
Term
EVs
EVs are cars that run on electricity from a battery. The “drivetrain” is the system that turns that power into motion, like the motor and how it sends power to the wheels.
Car
BMW i3
The BMW i3 is an early electric car from BMW. People talk about it because it was one of the first EVs that felt different in how it was designed and packaged.
Term
four-spoke steering wheel
A four-spoke steering wheel just means the steering wheel has four main sections (spokes) coming out from the center. It’s mostly a design/feel thing, and some cars use it to look more sporty or unique.
Concept
curate's egg
“Curate’s egg” is a saying for something that’s not all good or all bad. It means there are parts you like, and parts you don’t.
Term
back lights
“Back lights” are the lights at the back of the car. Designers can shape them to make the car look wider or more aggressive, even if the actual body dimensions don’t change.
Concept
ugly as sin
“Ugly as sin” is a colorful idiom meaning extremely unattractive. In car talk, it often frames a debate between aesthetics and other strengths like ride quality, performance, or usability—here, the speaker argues the car drives great even if it looks bad.
Concept
R&D
R&D (research and development) is the money and engineering effort spent to design new technology—here, especially batteries and related EV systems. The host is arguing that the i3’s early development costs were high and that BMW had to keep investing to improve the battery tech over time.
Brand
Audi
They bring up Audi as a brand that, in their view, isn’t matching the best EV performance right now. It’s basically a comparison of how different automakers are doing with electric-car range.
Term
chainsaw
A chainsaw is a machine with a moving cutting chain that slices through wood. The episode jokes about where it came from, saying it was first developed for medical reasons before people used it for trees.
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This is Iowa Kimwell-Ere from the Athletic FC podcast.
Buying a car should be exciting, not exhausting.
And if you're looking for a gleaming SUV
to replace your old banger,
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I'm Johnny Smith.
I'm your reporter.
And this is Smith and Sniff,
a podcast in which two friends talk about cars
and many other things.
This is technically not our 400th episode,
but it is also officially our 400th episode.
Is it?
Yeah.
Bloody hell.
But at the same time, it's our 401st
because we released a pilot episode
that was like episode zero.
So with like the arsewitz that we are,
we sort of messed it up a bit.
We did a prototype.
We did a pre-prod.
Yes, of the production spec podcast,
this is episode 400.
Oh my gosh, Rich, 400, that's really shocked me.
I forgot to tell you before we started recording
because it only occurred to me the other day
when I was uploading the last one, which was 399.
I was like, oh, right.
So what are we if we're a car?
Are we an LS 400 Lexus?
Are we a Ferrari with a slack gearbox?
What are we?
Yeah, and a saggy arse
because the self-leveling has gone on the bonk.
Yes.
Or some of those later Jag F-types were bad, just 400.
Oh, they were.
They were rather good.
Yeah, that's true.
They were.
Or Rover 400, Volvo 400 series.
Oh, Volvo 400 was a very sensible looking car,
wasn't it?
Yes.
Yeah.
The 440, what a sensible car.
We're not made in the Netherlands,
so that probably discounts that.
Okay.
With some of the, which Lotus?
The Evora, was it?
Had a spout 400.
Oh, it did.
And I like the Evora a lot.
I wonder who's got the Evora at the moment
because I think we've said before, they only sold one
and it just gets moved around and resprayed
and then, you know, sometimes.
Who's got the Evora?
Someone's got the Evora at the moment.
I don't know.
I hope they're enjoying it.
Yeah, the Evora 400 is about 10 years old.
Could a Evora's cheap now?
I don't know.
The supercharged Toyota V6 was 400 horsepower in the 400.
You probably knew that.
But yeah, I remember the Evora was mega.
It's one of those cars where I'd sort of forgotten
about it a bit and then you suddenly go,
oh, they were good, weren't they?
Yes, but gosh, actually there's more than one Evora.
What a surprise, and they're for sale.
Unless it's the same car just being photographed differently.
But cheapest Evora here at the moment
is 27 and a half grand for a three
V6 manual launch edition.
See now, here's the thing.
That Evora, or when it's now sold, sadly,
that sub 30 grand Alpine A110 I saw the other week.
I'd have to drive an Evora again
because I really haven't driven one for quite some time.
The steering on the Evora was quite something.
I remember it being spellbinding.
Oh yeah, I think the steering on the Alpine
is sort of all right, but perhaps it's a little light
for my tastes in a sports car, if I'm honest.
You get used to it, but particularly
because that's still hydraulic assistance on an Evora,
isn't it?
It's kind of old school, but quite good because of it.
I feel like I'd say, oh, Alpine,
because I just love them, and also manual gearbox
in the Evora, if you're a purist
and you want that sort of thing.
I mean, I'm not that hard lying on it,
but I reckon it would be quite nice.
And the change is not brilliant in those, is it?
I can't remember.
Well, in the Evora, yes, pretty good from memory.
Is it?
Yeah, I mean, someone listening to this cast
will be an Evora owner.
Without doubts.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I've seen one in the car park
at one of our live shows at least once.
And please, if that person could email us
and give us a very succinct paragraph summary
on Evora Helmsmanship long term, this is.
Not just us who get to drive a car for a day or whatever.
That's not real.
Yes.
What's it really like?
Yeah.
Because Lotus this week, I think it's this week,
have announced they're making a plug-in hybrid of FEV.
No, it's actually a range extender version of the Eletra.
Eletra.
Yeah.
And I don't know if that's going to solve their problems.
I mean, I'm not a businessman, Rich.
Look, this isn't news.
No, me neither.
However, I just feel like Lotus should accept
that the cars that they're best at
are cars they're not going to sell 100,000 of a year,
but just go back to doing what you do really well
and be a more cottage-y industry again.
Yes, but it's like they've probably sort of scaled
a bit beyond that.
And it's a harder world to compete in
because although car nerds like us and car journalists
often sort of celebrate simplicity.
Yeah.
No one actually wants a really simple car anymore.
Well, unless it is a proper weekend toy,
like a catering or something like that.
But the thing about the lease is you could use it
a bit more than a catering.
Yeah.
For a month.
But people want, they want a Bluetooth phone now
and they suddenly will go,
actually, well, I quite like cruise control.
Because that's the thing, the A110,
you sort of go, it's a lovely simple car,
but it's like, what's it not got?
If you think about it, in terms of modern tech,
it has got Bluetooth phone,
the later ones have got car play, it's got cruise.
It has all of these modern features
because the truth is that people want them
and say it's like, how simple can you go?
You can still fit them.
Well, that's the thing.
You can go lightweight audio.
I wrote a column in Eva about this recently.
It's like what a lot of modern cars have,
that slate truck, that little EV truck that they're...
Which I'm really keen on.
Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it?
But what I think about that is that,
and this is what I use as a basis of my column,
is it creates the illusion of simplicity.
It's not actually simple.
It has forward collision radar and all these things
because that's about to become mandatory in the US.
It's already mandatory in Europe.
So you've got to have that.
And it's like, well, once you start doing that...
Then you've got modules and looms, yeah.
Yeah, so it's like, there is no such thing
as a simple factory produced car anymore.
I've had a thought.
Nobody's really interested in big lotuses, right?
No.
Even if they're pretty good, actually.
It's just that the badge doesn't quite work on it
for a lot of us.
So instead of making a larger passengery car,
Lotus makes physically larger sports cars,
but they're badged as TVRs.
Oh.
They buy the TVR name, which is probably about what?
For about three grand,
they could probably get the TVR name right now.
And then, just let's face it, everyone that buys it,
it's like either a hot potato or a potato
that they leave in the oven
and forget it's in there and go on holidays.
And then...
And then...
So it would be lovely to have the TVR name back.
So if it had like a V6 type engine or larger
and the car's physically larger, TVR it,
still using Lotus's amazing chassis tech
and lightweight composites and construction,
that kind of thing.
And then the smaller, more spindly cars,
you keep going down the Elysee and almost Al...
I mean, basically Alpine have done.
I thought about this and they did.
I don't know if I said it on the cast or not,
or if I just said it to myself.
Alpine with the A110 basically made
what Lotus should have made.
And just as Lotus was stopping selling any cars, seemingly,
Alpine went, oh, we're gonna make something quite light
and interesting and fun.
And it won't use much petrol.
And if I was Lotus, I'd be shaking my fists at the sky,
going, damn you, damn you, Alpine.
But they should just be British Alpine.
I mean, I like that.
I like that.
And then a bit of TVR.
I like your TVR idea.
I don't know.
I mean, the truth is I don't know the A110 is sold brilliantly.
No, but I think it's sold steadily.
And what I do think it's done
is been good for a brand builder, which...
Oh, certainly, yeah.
I know that.
I know that there is a difference
between selling product and volume of product
versus brand building.
But brand building is really important these days.
Feeling like you're belonging.
And I think there's a real feeling
like you're in an interesting club
or you're treading the lesser trodden path
within Alpine.
Us car pervs, we're down with that, aren't we?
I mean, that said, I set off on a journey the other day.
A life journey or a physical one?
A life journey, yes.
It really was.
Like on the X Factor, where I then had it replayed to me
in slow motion with some cold player over the top.
Oh, cool.
Let's have a look back at your journey.
Did you unbutton your shirt?
Were you sitting backwards on a chair?
I was, yeah.
There was a wind machine.
It blew some grit into my eyes, by the way.
And it catapulted.
Yeah, I set off on a journey.
And just as I set off, I was thinking about A110s
as I did quite a lot at the moment.
And that, because they were on my mind,
I then saw, I think, three.
What?
On a journey between here and Manchester.
Given that it's quite a rare car,
that's quite a lot to see in the space
of three hours or something.
So yeah, it's quite interesting.
They are out there.
It's not like it's a totally obscure.
It's not the Auvora, you know, they have sold a few.
And you're right, I think they have sold consistently.
As in someone who's got a once on for one now
and a brand new one will still go and buy one.
I don't know.
I'd be interested to know, actually,
if it has tailed off much.
I bet there was a spike at launch,
but then I bet it's been quite plateau-y since then,
because it is just, you either want one or you don't.
The A110 was supposed to be in league with Caterham,
and then they had to pull out.
Yeah.
But looking back, you go,
well, I mean, could it have been in league with Alpine
instead from the off?
Oh, sorry, right, in league with Lotus.
Alpine and Lotus working together.
Because that's kind of interesting.
It is.
And historically, sort of,
Renault and Lotus have crossed paths before.
So, yeah, why not?
And let's get a bit of TVR back.
I do like that.
There's various engines they could play with.
They've got all the bloody lightweight extrusion chassis.
They've got all the composites flying around.
Let's do this.
All right, well.
Let's bloody do this, guys.
And let's stop chasing Lotus-badged, large passenger cars,
which you just don't think works for the brand.
Do what you're good at, you know?
And while we're pondering it,
somebody called Graham wrote to us in January, 2025.
Okay.
With the title of the letter, Fanny B.
I've just stumbled across it, as we do.
And it just says, Johnny, with your recent podcast reference
to your dad's Francis Barnett Cruiser 80 motorcycle,
I must have been talking about dad's motorbike,
which is quite apt that I've stumbled across this email
because I've been in Liverpool for the last three days
and my dad went to Union Liverpool
and that's where he rode his Francis Barnett 2.
Oh, right.
Hang on, this is you speaking now.
I thought this was something...
I thought you were reading out the letter.
Okay, your dad went to the University in Liverpool.
My dad went to Union Liverpool
on his Francis Barnett Cruiser 80.
This chap called Graham Asquith has emailed us
about a year ago,
saying,
reference to your dad's motorbike.
My late dad also had a Francis Barnett Cruiser 80
and there's a photo of him sitting on it in the garden,
which he bought at the age of 16 and he kept
and he passed it to me when he died a few years ago.
You can see me astride it in this photo.
My dad always referred to this bike as his Fanny B
until his friend, Colin,
suggested that now the children were getting a little older,
it should perhaps be re-christened,
whereupon it became simply known as the frantic bayonet,
a sweet, sweet ride, different times, et cetera, et cetera.
Graham, it's only taken me nearly 18 months
to read out this letter,
but Graham, thank you very much for sending it to us.
And it's great to see you enjoying your late dad's Fanny B,
which sounds completely wrong,
but you know where I'm coming from.
Lovely, lovely.
Good, I'm glad we got there in the end.
If you've got anything you'd like to say to us
and that you'd like to hear us read out
in a year to 18 months time, perhaps.
Hello, at smithasniff.com, he's the address.
Hey, before again, something else I didn't want to forget
is a few weeks ago, we mentioned a listener
who was in a car with a friend
listening to the podcast you made with your brother.
Oh yeah.
And they were laughing so hard that the car,
I think at the time this listener said the car,
somehow lost control.
Yeah, had a big crash, didn't they?
Proper big crash, and it was a three series,
and it was caused by your brother's tale
of the man with the ill-fitting trousers.
Well, the listener has,
I can't remember if we're allowed to say his name,
I think we are Alan, we said before, didn't we?
So Alan's been back in touch
just to give us a little more context on this.
He says, hello, you pair of SSGs.
I was catching up on the podcast today while at work
and heard my name, which is indeed Alan.
I probably should have said that.
Just wanted to confirm the story was indeed very true.
The reason for purchasing the Jumbuck,
you remember in his original message,
he was here on their way to look at a proton Jumbuck.
That's right.
Well, Alan says the reason for purchasing the Jumbuck
was to do a scumball rally
with a group of friends at the end of the summer.
We had planned to drive to Gibraltar and back in cars.
We found online for under 750 pounds
with a budget of another 750 to spend on them
to complete the trip.
I've always had a weird fascination with them.
With regards to the accident,
I presume he means fascination with Jumbucks,
not with driving to Gibraltar rallies,
although maybe that as well.
He says with regards to the accident,
we worked out the cause was down to the fact
that while in fits of laughter,
my friend had veered across the entire road
and realizing instead of slowing down
and holding the car straight,
he sharply pulled left to avoid hitting the central reservation,
causing a massive tank slapper
and the car to wildly veered left
followed by a shit correction,
which resulted in a smashing into the center
and the Bollard you see in the picture.
It was a very strange crash.
PS, we still find it hilarious.
And that podcast will forever be my go-to for a pick me up.
Oh, there's another PS as well.
I never got the Jumbuck,
but have instead purchased a Renault Clio 1.2 Campus,
which I'm already massively regretting.
Oh, no.
I was about to say, I thought he was going to say,
which I am already in love with
and I'm not going to go on a banger rally with it.
Yeah, I mean, if you'd said Jumbuck or Clio,
I would have gone Clio,
but I suppose, you know, old Clios can develop
little illnesses, can't they?
So, I don't know.
Anyway, Alan, thank you for providing some extra info
on the accident and it was your friend's car, wasn't it?
I hope your friend got an insurance payout for it,
even though it was possibly down to,
and I'm quoting now, a shit correction.
That was my favorite part of that, yeah.
We've all overcorrected, Rich.
Well, exactly, yes.
We've all overcorrected.
Especially if you're laughing, you're not expecting it.
Let he who was not overcorrected cast the first stone.
Right, can you do a little news bulletin jingle?
I'm sure you can.
Oh.
You're able to summon something along the,
oh, you could just sing it.
It's quite sure.
Yeah, can I just ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Some sad news that affects, I think, all of us, potentially.
The Wigan family run firm that made the Eagle Quest,
Eagle Specialist Vehicles, no less.
Yes.
Which also trades as Wilcox limousines,
has just announced it's due to cease trading,
and the administrators have been appointed,
and it's a real shame because they've been in buzzness
over 75 years.
1948, I think they were established, so.
Yeah, that's very sad news.
It's very sad.
It's there been, I saw this story,
and a few people have sent it to us,
because obviously we have a connection with Eagle.
Have they given a reason why?
Is it just downturn in business?
There is a quote from the Wigan Today news outlet,
which I was looking at.
It's a very sad moment for our family,
and for many employees who've been part of the business
for years.
Unfortunately, the financial pressures
facing the company became unsustainable,
despite significant efforts to restructure.
Rising production costs along signs,
structural changes in the funerial sector,
such as growth of direct cremation,
have made the market increasingly difficult.
The business is now entering administration process.
Wilcox limousines has a factory in Hindley Green,
as well as in Northampton,
and is run by the second and third generation
of the Wilcox family.
Bloody hell.
Oh, a certain, our Eagle would have been made in there,
in, I don't know, 1993.
Sorry, what's direct cremation?
I don't know that.
It's click and collect.
It's basically, I don't really know.
It sounds like your granddad's gone,
let's throw him on a bonfire in the garden.
Shall I look this up?
Because it feels, I don't want to be facile
about something that's quite serious,
but it's just that the body gets taken away,
no purchase of a coffin,
no ceremony in the traditional way.
Oh, I see, yes, yeah.
There's a thing here from Co-op, the funeral.
They're quite big in funerals, aren't they?
And it says a direct cremation is a low-cost,
simple cremation with no service, mourners, or ceremony,
and to no visitors to the funeral home.
Is that, God, is that growing in popularity?
I don't know, I mean, I like the idea of green sight.
I don't mean to talk about death on this podcast,
it's not really what I was aiming at.
But I want to be spread around and planted with a tree,
and I will have a hearse because I like them.
But I'm not bothered about the rest of the ceremony.
I'd rather just some friends came along
and you played a song.
It could be on a Bluetooth speaker in a field.
Like a shit-rave.
And then that's that.
And then whoever's in the hearse
could just be palming it around the wet, grassy field.
I love a bit of that.
It would be fantastic.
Good, all right, Julie Nated.
I was wondering if part of the challenge for Eagle Wilcox
and other funeral car makers
is that cars last longer now.
And if their work matches the quality of the original bodywork
as in it's gulf,
and it's just generally sort of better put together,
these cars are doing fairly few miles, aren't they?
And in a way, there's probably something
a bit more stately about an older car.
I think people want funeral cars to look quite trad, don't they?
I was about to say that almost.
The kind of hearse is that I look at, say,
if I was to save some searches on the internet.
Those are the kinds of cars which people might go,
actually, I don't have a craving for the very latest Jaguar
or Ford or whatever it might be.
I'm quite, sorry, Folds.
I'm quite happy to have a car from the 80s or the 60s.
Because if a grand old Jag or Rolls Royce
or Daimler turned up from the 50s,
no one's going to go,
are you a poor family because you've got a really old hearse?
No one's going to say that, are they?
No, you'd go, oh, look at that.
That is a stately and respectful way to see off a loved one.
And I think probably if you have got a 2000s Jag XJ,
for a lot of people,
that looks like a proper funeral car
because it is a little bit sort of retro at that price.
And the Ian Callumshay XJ,
which I think is still a terrific looking car,
but when it's stretched and turned into a hearse particularly,
it's a bit radical.
Yeah, not as radical as those Mac-E Ford's that hearse.
It just looks like someone's accidentally photoshopped
copy and paste three times too many.
It's really, really odd.
Really.
King Super's.
Como precios bajos en todo pasillo.
Ahorra aún más con los cupones digitales en la app de King Super's
y gana puntos en combustible para ahorrar hasta un dólar por galón.
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King Super's fresh para todos.
Los ahorros pueden variar por estado.
Aplican resecciones de combustible.
Ve los detalles en el sitio.
Es nuestra semana Bogo.
Disfruta ofertas, compra, uno lleva otro gratis con tu tarjeta.
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Yod.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I do wonder that just cars last longer
so there is less reason for a funeral director
to switch the fleet.
If the fleet is running well
and not costing you anything and it's paid for,
then stick with it.
But that's bad news for the people
who make new horses and limos.
Do cars last longer though?
Yes.
Do they?
Yes.
What, compared to the 70s or even the 80s?
Yeah, God yeah, I'm sure they do.
They're more resilient.
Cars are definitely more resilient than they were
because you can be an absolute prong
and drive a car for a long time without servicing it
or even lifting the bonnet, actually,
which you probably couldn't in the 70s or the 80s.
I think certainly, I mean, going way back,
the 50s and 60s, probably into the 70s easily,
it was not a given that you would make it
to the end of a long journey
without having to stop to do something mechanical
to your car.
Actually, that is true.
And we take it for granted now
that cars are incredibly complicated
and it is, I think it's one of the most underrated things
is the reliability of modern cars
and the fact that your car is the most
mechanically complicated thing you own.
It's probably close to the most electronically complicated
thing as well if it isn't that too.
And the fact that you can just get in
and drive a thousand miles in it without thinking twice.
And most people don't even check them, as we just said.
Well, that's the thing.
Someone from a car company
wants to point this out to me.
They said that a modern car is extremely complicated.
Like it's not as complicated as an airliner,
but it's not far off in terms of the number
of things going on and that need to all work perfectly.
And unlike an airliner, cars don't have sort of like loads
and loads of redundancy built in.
But the big difference between cars and airliners
is that an airliner is only ever operated
and worked on by extremely highly trained
and highly monitored people,
whereas any old fuckwit can drive and repair a car.
And so they have to build that in.
You know, when Boeing go, right,
now, should we make it really obvious
how you reassemble this flap on the wing?
They go, well, no, because we're going to issue
scrupulously detailed training things
and make sure there's no margin for error.
Whereas if you're foats or whoever,
you've got to go, oh my God, you know,
someone in a back street is going to eventually end up
working on this car.
We've got to make sure that you can't accidentally
put the suspension arms on upside down or something.
It's just, it's so, it's so different
to the way the airplanes work.
But people are so intolerant of when a car goes wrong,
despite the fact that they have probably
really lent on it and caned it for years.
And then one small thing starts to go wrong with it.
And they're instantly outraged
and they hate cars forever.
And they just think the best solution
is to simply buy another car.
It's like, well, it's not quite like that, is it?
You know, if your kitchen needs cleaning,
you don't strip the kitchen out and put it in the skid.
Because you're not a complete prick.
I had to smash all my work tops with a sledgehammer
because there were some crumbs on them.
And I couldn't think of another way.
It was so dirty.
I do that.
I remember we were coming back from, I think it was Kenya.
And I was in an Armstrong Sidler sapphire.
And I came upon this absolutely gorgeous glamorous lady.
And she was French.
And she was driving a car called a delage.
I've never seen such a thing.
It was so queer, but also so alluring,
very flowing and wonderful and also surprisingly swift.
Well, one thing led to another
and we had a picnic by the roadside.
I think it was three days we were there.
And in that time, the lady who had this beautiful delage,
she removed the gearbox using nothing but her tights
and an old hat.
And then she sent it away.
She found some natives and they took it away into the woods
and they changed it.
Do you know, I remember this.
They changed it from a manual transmission to an automatic.
I don't know how they did it, but they did.
It was nothing short of remarkable.
And then on the way home, we were very close
to where I was going to stay the night
with my friend, Diddly Prong, lovely guy,
ex-professional cricketer
and Diddly said, let's have a game.
So we did.
And we had a game inside a partially built asbestos factory.
And it really was the greatest game.
All the fielders did start to cough a little,
but we all went and we drank lots of ginger beer
and then actual beer.
And then I think we drank something else
that came from a foreign country.
It was very, very potent.
And then I fell asleep on a chaise long
at Diddly Prong's house.
Do you know, I woke up seven days later
and my body was wasting away, but we did have such fun.
Things were different then, you know,
we didn't have telephones.
No.
I know, I know, I know, Richard.
I know, I know, I know.
Well, before we forget, because we will,
and we should say that the tickets for our Belfast live show
in May are now on sale.
When we mentioned before,
there was a slight lack of joined up thinking
and the venue hadn't actually put the tickets on sale.
So we looked like...
Well, that was so good. ...sleeves as usual.
But we're fine now.
That's a fluty thing to do.
Yeah, anyway, 15th of May in Belfast,
Richard, a live show, and you can now buy a ticket
go to smithandstift.com.
And on the live show page, there's a link to the venue.
They're selling the tickets.
Get in there and looking forward to seeing you in May.
I'm so much looking forward to that.
Right, that's the housekeeping out of the way.
That's that.
I know.
I know, I know.
Something else which I just, again, before I forget,
sorry, this is just the middle-aged man amnesia section,
but I wanted to say hello to a listener
whose name I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
What are you called? I don't know.
Saturday before last, we took our kids into Tain,
and as a treat, we went to Five Guys Burger
in the center of Bath Bath.
Did you say High Guys Burger?
High Guys, no, Five Guys.
High Guys Burger!
Because everyone calls it Five Guys.
In my head, I always call it Five Guys,
and it's like, oh, the emphasis is in the wrong place.
Don't say that out loud.
You sound weird.
With two Z's on the end of Guy.
Yeah, Five Guys and a smiley face.
So, yeah, they have an outlet in the center of Bath Bath.
It was a beautiful afternoon, so we ordered our food
and then went to sit outside while we waited for it
to be prepared.
And I decided to go inside and use the loo.
While I was in there, a chap came over.
Now, my wife was sitting with a friend of ours
and she brought her son down and our kids.
This guy came over and he said, excuse me,
is one of you married to Richard?
And my wife went, yes.
And then this guy said, oh, could you tell him he's a flute?
And she said-
What, and that was it?
And then he just walked off?
Well, it ran off.
No, she said, well, you can stick around.
You can tell him yourself.
He's just gone inside to the loo.
And he was like, no, I've got to go.
And he held up his takeaway bag of burgers.
He said, my wife's in labor.
I'm just getting this for her.
In labor?
And then he had to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I wanted to say hello to her for this listener was
and say, I hope that everything was all right
with the successful birth of your baby.
But also to say that after he'd gone
and I came back out and my wife told me this story,
her and our friend we were both like,
oh, oh, isn't that sweet?
And they were really impressed that he'd run into town
to grab a burger for his wife
while she was giving birth to their child.
So whoever you are, sir,
thanks for coming and saying hi
and well done for getting a tasty burger.
Congratulations on your new baby boy or girl
called Five Guys.
Well, you run it all together.
Yes, this is our daughter, Fifth Energies.
Yes.
Oh, it could be in a foreign language.
Say it in a foreign language
so it just sounds a little bit more exotic, couldn't you?
Possibly so.
I'm trying to think what that is in German.
I know Funf is five, but what's guys in German?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I honestly, I don't know.
Johnny, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Just use the word child instead.
So it'd be five child.
Funf kinder.
Funf kinder, I suppose would be sort of.
I have a kinder here, Funf kinder.
I feel like Funf Heron is the name of a DVD
that you would see for sale in a German petrol station,
which would be quite eye-watering
when you watched on a lad's holiday.
Did we just say, did you say Hair Funf?
No, Funf Heron, I was in Five Guys.
Heron's name is not Hair Funf.
That's something entirely different.
Hello.
Is that Mr. Five?
My name, yes, it's Mr. Five.
He is, in fact,
he's Bavaria's leading medium-sized B&W repair specialist.
Mr. Five.
Mr. Five.
Did you do three series?
Certainly not!
Yeah.
No, don't you dare bring a seven,
or I'll give you a dry slap.
Or whatever the...
What's German for dry slap?
We are well beyond the abilities of our linguistics,
but yeah, Hair Funf is something entirely different.
But...
HE LAUGHS
If someone isn't called Hair Funf
and does specialise in five series BMs,
they should take that and run with it.
They should absolutely.
You don't think it's a business model, it's a little narrow?
It is.
There's quite a lot of part-sharing
between different B&W models.
If you have this militant belief
that you will not look at anything else,
I have got a Z3.
Get out!
It's kind of...
You're turning away business, aren't you, but...
Maybe he has siblings or family members
who have set up neighbouring businesses
that they can share between.
So it would be...
And...
He's got Hair Funf, his son is set up next door.
He's called Hair Dry.
Or Hair Dry, if you mean...
HE LAUGHS
Well, because Mr. Three...
Or has he got...
He's got an older brother who is known as Dr. Sieben
and then a younger brother who is Hair Dry.
And that's the thing.
And so it's all very neat.
The siblings are also...
They've sort of cascaded down the range.
And they announced the one series and it was like...
They had to go and see their elderly parents
and ask if they were capable of having another child
and they all got very ugly.
Hair Ainz, yeah.
Hair Ainz, yeah.
But now there's two series as well.
I have four series and six series and eight.
Oh, my God.
But they don't deal with two series active taurers.
Well, no. Who's doing the X-Fives?
It's a good question. Will Hair Five do the X-Fives?
I think he might.
I think he doesn't want to,
but there's enough business out there
and he'd be a fool to turn that down.
It's true. But then again, you know,
he is quite bloody-minded about rich B&Ws.
He works on C, just don't know, do you?
He's a five-purest.
Just to take a little trip to car corner,
have you seen the new B&W i3?
Yes. Yes.
It's all over the social media and things.
Yes. It's caused a stir last week.
And then the one that they released not that long before it.
Is it the iX3, the new iX3?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
So this is the Neuer-class style of design.
Yeah. Language. Yeah.
Which is a breath of fresh air compared to the huge
cocaine-ostral nonsense, which has been gone.
Yes. Yeah.
It's in... I haven't had a chance to ask anyone at BMW
or read any interviews of why they've done this.
Are they admitting that they made some
shocking looking pieces of shit?
That was... That's in the press release, yeah.
Is it in the press release?
Because... But I will...
The caveat to that, I will say, is that
they've always been well put together cars.
And they've always had, especially the EVs,
really good drivetrains.
Because BMWs were quite pioneering
in the electric drivetrain department.
But this is bearing the name of what was the quirky,
quite wild, but wonderful i3,
little suicide-doored Easter Island-haired car.
I'm going to put my hand up and I'm going to say,
still, the most interesting, both layout and use of textiles
in a modern car interior.
Production car, that is production car.
Yes.
And so I like this i3 on the face of it,
but I saw the cabin and everyone was raving about the cabin.
And all I could think about was the i3 came out
over a decade ago and it looks more radical.
That is true, yeah.
It's... I don't... It's so hard to...
So is it progress, Richard?
It looks, this new one, the...
I think the interior looks all right.
It's got that, or certainly in some versions,
it's got that funny four-spoke steering wheel
where that includes vertical spokes.
Oh, yes.
Which is also in the i3, or certainly in some trims,
I think in the sportier trims.
It's not that, but either way, it's an unusual wheel.
I kind of like it, but I don't know what it'd be like to use.
I suppose it'd be fine because you don't really...
Is it four-spoke like that to look...
To emulate the propeller logo of BMW?
Oh, hadn't thought of that.
That's my first thought, and because otherwise...
You should be a car designer.
Me? I'd make...
Well, because you've spotted what they're up to.
Yeah, but it is.
Listen, I don't want to blow on my own flesh-coloured trombone,
but I think I would make a good car designer.
I'm just going to put that out there.
Completely miss vocation, of course.
Yes, well, I think anybody who likes cars
likes to think they could have been a car designer,
but it's a bit...
I can draw rich, I used to.
You can draw, can't you?
Yeah, I used to be able to.
You could have been a car designer.
I could have been somebody, you know?
Yeah.
What I find interesting about the reaction,
it's been quite sort of a vocal reaction,
certainly online to this car,
and I'm going to reserve judgment.
I think I find the exterior a little...
It's a curate's egg.
Some of it I really like, some of it I'm not so sure about.
I don't like the way that the back lights almost touch.
I don't get why they've done that.
Well, I suspect it's to make it look wider,
would be the usual sort of thing,
but does it need it?
And would it look better if they didn't?
They just look too stretched.
Yeah.
The front is good.
Yes.
The side, I can't...
I need to see it in real life,
because I also can't get an angle on how big it is.
It looks quite dense, doesn't it?
It does.
Which is sort of good, I like.
It looks sturdy.
In profile, I think it looks like a Polestar 2.
Very deep door, quite shallow glass,
and a three-box saloon to all tents and purposes.
It's a good response from BMW compared to what we had before,
but to all the people who have bought the appalling looking,
illuminating, giant-nosed BMWs that look like something from Angry Birds,
did they feel stupid yet?
Because they should have felt stupid ages ago,
but do they not feel stupid now?
Instead of going, you know, like going,
buying them what people have bought the M3 Touring going,
but you just get used to the way it looks,
and it's actually fine.
And you go, yeah, what you're saying is,
you've bought a car that drives great and it's ugly as sin.
Just say it.
I've got ugly cars, but I like them ugly.
But just admit it, you've just got to be at one with this.
It's ugly, it's a terrible piece of design,
and everyone who isn't a designer at BMW,
who is a designer by profession, said it was terrible design.
So therefore, it must be terrible design.
Long pause.
Well, there you go.
Well, tell me I'm wrong.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Tell me the other things.
I'm not saying, I'm not saying you're wrong.
No, so I'm like, you know,
I like to think that I've thought this through long and hard,
and I know I'm right.
Yeah.
Well, if you disagree,
hello at smithandsniff.com,
and title your email, Johnny is wrong.
We are only accepting submissions from people who have a lot of Sivora though,
so don't waste your time with us.
Now, the other thing that I thought people were getting a bit agitated online about
was the fact that they'd called this new Saloon the i3,
and it's sort of Ford Capri syndrome.
People were getting really angry.
You go, you can't do that.
And it's like, well, they can because it's their name.
I hadn't thought of it like that,
because I suppose the i3 doesn't have a legacy
that's as long as something like the Capri.
But as good as, and I am genuinely,
I know I sound like just like a grumpy twat,
but I am genuinely looking forward to experiencing the i3,
and I was invited on the launch of it.
I just couldn't make it work.
Oh.
The drivetrain moves the needle along.
Does the rest of the car move the needle?
Uh, I don't know.
And does it need to?
I suppose culturally internally,
BMW are still slightly smarting from the fact that the original i3,
brilliant that it was, was a very expensive car to do.
I don't know whether it ever, in accountancy terms,
wiped its own ass,
because it was so expensive to develop and to make.
I know it was on sale for a long time,
but they also had to spend more R&D money on it.
During that time, you know,
doing batteries and stuff like that, upgrading those.
So I don't know whether they are slightly smarting from the fact
that was a genuinely radical car in its construction
and the way it looked.
Yeah.
And so this, to try and return a profit,
has to be a little more conventional in those senses.
But...
It does.
I, I, I, the, I mean, the range thing is,
is actually quite...
Range things.
Nuts, isn't it?
They're claiming...
Huge.
A max of 559 miles, which is...
It's enormous.
This and the, the Slippery recent award-winning Mercedes,
what is it, the CLA?
CLA, yeah, yeah.
Electric car.
They're doing, they're doing some really impressive range-related work,
those two companies.
It's Audi, I guess, who aren't doing very impressive EV stuff,
I think, with that, although they are making a mistake car.
Well, there's an i3 Touring coming, so that's...
That's going to be up your strasser.
That is going to be up my strasser, for sure.
For sure we push.
So it's nice, this is good to see.
I think it's, it's ruffling some feathers,
and it's also, the i3's not an SUV,
so that's also another thing to think positively about
on that side of things.
Yeah, I mean, the thing is, it's like 500 and something,
500 and near as damn it's 560 miles.
It's like, you can't drive that far in one go.
You'd piss your pants, so it's useful.
But I wonder if they're making a bit of a run for their own back,
because it's like the power wars between super car makers.
Like no one can walk back from that,
because it could be seen as inferior to its predecessor and its rivals.
But that's when it, I don't want to start getting too serious on this podcast,
but I think that's when buyers' education is more important than just chasing the numbers.
I know, but it's...
You can buy a 250 mile range electric car,
and it will work really successfully in really so many different ways.
And it only takes this much time to charge on the hop.
Yes.
And it costs less money.
I know that you and me and people who are quite happy using UVs in certain situations
are not the norm, because we're car people.
So we're just sort of thinking about this stuff and fretting about it.
But I'm going to drive my Dacia Spring on a longer journey in a couple of days' time.
Oh, are you?
Great.
Yeah, just because I thought, fuck it, I'm going to do it.
And but what I did was I know where I'm going,
and I know they have chargers there.
So with that in mind, it's sort of like, I know this is doable.
I mean, it's not that far.
You know, it's like just under 100 miles away.
That's fine.
The weather's warmer now.
And it's fine.
But you know, the spring does not have a massive range,
because it doesn't have a massive battery.
But it's sort of doable with a bit of planning.
Now, I appreciate normal people don't want to plan ahead, things like that.
They've got other things on their mind.
We're used to the convenience of being able to fill up with liquid fuel.
But I do think that BM, it's like they've gone really big on the range.
It is, I don't know, stupid, but it's sort of too much range.
Like you are paying for that in terms of weight and cost.
Yeah.
And it'll be harder for them to walk back, because you can try and educate customers
till you're blue in the face.
But people aren't listening.
They just want a car that's convenient and easy to use.
And this is where EVs fall down for some people.
But it's also, I suppose, they're overcompensating to try and win over
those folk who go, well, unless you can do 500 miles,
I'm not interested.
And they go, all right, well, it can do 500 miles.
So fucking buy one.
But how do you then step back from that?
Once people realise they don't really need a 500 mile range battery?
Well, it's like me wearing a diver's watch and not being a diver, I suppose.
And my watch goes 200 meters.
And I'd be lucky if I do two meters.
So, and one of those times will be because I accidentally fell in the river
when I was clearing the bank or something like that.
That's exactly aspirational diving territory.
This is just reminding me, because talking about how BMW upgraded the battery and stuff
on the old i3 during its life.
And it's, in contrast to the Jag I-Pace, rather, which had very few upgrades during its life.
But, you know, we are keen observers of drags to stance Landrovers,
where the air suspension's gone on the wonk.
Oh, the bum drive, the dog with worm stance or the...
No, it's the other one.
It's where the nose drops.
Oh, OK.
And you sometimes see, you'll see an old disco or a Range Rover,
and it'll be drags to stance.
I saw a drags to stance I-Pace the other day.
Did you?
Yeah. Now, the I-Pace air suspension was an option on those cars.
So, it is not a given that you're at some point going to get either dog with worms
or I'm off to Santa Pod spec stance.
But, yeah, it's just driving along, but it's bum right in the air.
That is a new one.
But well done.
Well done, JLR for consistent air suspension problems with age.
It's, you haven't restricted it to Landrovers.
You can get an I-Pace to do it too.
Yeah, it looked extraordinary.
I wish I wasn't quick enough to take a picture, but it was quite the thing to see.
This talk of BMW has reminded me that in the last couple of weeks,
I've really nearly bought several BMWs.
I've done a lot of...
Well, it's occurred to me that I've only ever owned one BMW and it's for a day.
Oh, yes.
It wasn't because it was rubbish.
It was just because I got offered double the money and I needed the cash and thought, okay.
And I've done a few barn find BMWs recently.
So, I've actually worked on them and touched them and stuff.
And there's a lot of BMWs I like.
And someone who works in house clearance emailed the late break show last week and said,
we've got a bubble car and some other old cars.
We've got to get rid of them.
We've got power of attorney or whatever.
Are you interested?
And it was a BMW I set her.
And I was like, hell, am I interested?
I'm there already in spirit.
But it was that usual thing of like, how much do you want for it?
Oh, I don't know.
Make us an offer.
Well, what are we talking?
And they tuned and frode so much by the end of it.
I made them an offer and they're like, no, that's ridiculously low.
And then two days later, they went, oh, it's sold.
And we've sold them all now.
It's all just very house clearancey and annoying.
It has made me think, I want a BMW is what I'm saying.
I do want a BMW.
I've said before, I've never owned a BMW.
And actually, I'm starting to think about what will replace our Tesla at the end of
this year when it comes to the end of its lease.
That new iX3 is kind of interesting, but it's quite punchy.
What finance wise?
Yeah, because I just stick it on a PCP, PCH, whatever is going.
And yeah, they're quite punchy.
I think it's because there'll be a lower spec model coming in terms of power and stuff.
So that will presumably be a bit cheaper.
But yeah, because everything I hear about it is meant to be really, really good.
I'm not wowed by the way it looks, but I think it's all right.
I did also think that there's some, because I'd stick with electric,
because i5 touring is quite a handsome car, I think, as BMWs go.
Agree.
And I'm annoyed that I've not driven that yet, but I think that.
No, I haven't either.
I mean, that's been out for ages, hasn't it?
And I just, I don't know.
But yeah, I'm starting to snout around what would be our next family car.
And I thought a BMW would be kind of interesting just because I've never owned one.
And that feels like an oversight.
So it's either that or just going by like a really janky E36 or something for no reason at all.
Yeah, I saw, I went for a running crew yesterday, gave you a clue of which car manufacturer I was
visiting. And I woke up early and I've been feeling a bit rosy, so I forced myself to go for a run.
And I ran past a house and on the drive was a quite a sad, deflated, tired,
GoldenEye 7 Series BMW.
And it looked great.
And when I ran back the other way, I made sure I went past it again just to get a better look.
It was slightly algal.
But I do love those.
I do love those.
Yeah.
Damn good.
Yeah, yeah.
Handsome cars.
And the other thing is, while I was at crew because I was visiting Bentley.
Right, I was really hoping you were going to say, I was visiting JLR,
but I decided to drive to crew for a run.
That's right.
I was visiting Toyota in Derby.
I just thought I'd take a detour because I got so much time on my hands.
Excuse me, where's good for a run?
Crew, go to crew.
Sorry, I thought you said where's good to catch a train.
I'm so sorry I've wasted your time.
Crew, so solid.
While I was at Bentley looking at their new heritage collections and buildings,
which are exquisite, more news on that soon, I think, and I might be wrong,
Bentley couldn't confirm or deny, I think I'm the first person to stand in the special
kind of pre-war Bentley room, which is this amazing, cinematic,
lit, surround sound semi-circle of the very, the second or the oldest existing Bentley,
which is the experimental two from 1919, all the way up to just like a pre-war 1939
one-of-one, genuine one-of-one, not call their owner a cousin coffee one-of-one.
Oh, right.
And
because it's got a blue headlight.
Yeah, that's right.
Now it's, and while I was in there, because of course some of these cars were back in the
day when coach builders would build a body for the chassis to your liking.
I was staring at this one-off bodied one and I started singing,
if you like my body on that side of things and you think I'm sexy on that side of things,
come on, sugar, let me know on that side of things.
And I realized the PR manager of Bentley was stood right behind me.
I was in a world of my own for a second, but it was and is an amazing looking car,
interesting sort of war-torn backstory, this particular car.
It got crashed and then it got sent off to repair in France, the body did, and then the
war broke out so the body and the chassis were never remarried.
And so it got rebuilt from drawings and things about 20, over 20 years by a man called Ken Lee.
And when I got told this by Bentley, I said, do you mean the guy on Instagram who's really
quick at like, it's really, I felt bad because I think I'd cheapened the impact of this conversation.
Because the guy who's, I don't know if you know about this,
who's really quick at picking things up and dropping them or moving them from one place
to another. He's the fastest man in the world. Picking up what?
So he sets up a phone camera and he puts, I don't know, like a cup of tea and a clothes peg
in front of the camera and he'll tap another phone, which is on timer mode.
He'll tap the phone, pick up the clothes peg and move the cup of coffee out the way,
all within point one of a second and tap the screen of the phone again to stop the time,
to prove how quickly he's done it. I can't stop watching him. He's called Ken Lee.
But I thought you were going to say Ken Lee as in that clip from the pop idol somewhere.
Is it Korean? Was it Korean pop idol? Or Philippine somewhere, but yeah,
the woman is trying to sing Can't Live by Mariah Carey. Yes.
Who did that originally? Anyway, it doesn't matter, but instead of Can't Live, she's going Ken Lee.
It's like by air supply or something, isn't it? Yes, she just sings Ken Lee. I thought you meant
that. I thought you were going to say he then blotted your copy book by singing that version
of the song in front of Bentley's PR. We did start also singing that afterwards because
most people know Ken Lee as that. Ken Lee. It's still funny that. Yeah.
To me, anyway. Yeah, so it was really good. So that was my, I had a little running crew went
around there. I also decantine Bentley. Decantine is superb. Really superb. I mean,
we've done a live show there. So you know. Yes. In fact, I seem to remember I had some chips or
something in there before our live show. I had a couple of chips as well. Yeah, it was wonderful.
And great coffee as well. And really interesting water machines. So yeah. Great. Okay. Well,
that seems like an appropriate note on which to bring this to a close. A what?
One of them in their merch range, they sell a children's buggy as in, you know, push a child
along with like a sunshade on the top. And it's actually an official Bentley one. Good for them.
Anyway, there we go. Right. As you were, Richard. All right. Well, before we end,
I've got three things I'd like to share with you. The first one is something that I,
it was sent to us by a listener and I can't remember if I've already done this. So I'm going
to do it again. Johnny's engaged in a strange project to make an alternative version of this
podcast where he bins me off and gets in the former lead singer of Marillion under the working
title, Smith and Fish. If that's not to your taste, then taste. Taste. Sorry. What about it was
Smith and sniff fish? Well, I suppose I could, I could relaunch my old car website, but with the
former lead singer of Marillion, I call it sniff fish, but that would be unsavory.
And I'm sure he smells wonderful. I bet he does. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So, but yes,
the whole point of this bollocks is to mention the late break show. What have you got on there?
Well, Richard, this, this, the episode that's just gone out, if you're listening to this on,
on Monday, it went out yesterday, Sunday is featuring a man called Chris Harris. Don't
know. Chris Harris finally got out of off of the TV. He's, he's been on the televisions. Yes,
he has. He also does a podcast with some of his friends, although I don't know if they're real
friends or whether he pays them, but we'll have to find out. But all I know is that we
did a really good film together on possibly the worst weather in British history on a track in
Wales. And I, I told him to get there and I'll bring him something interesting for him to drive.
And I brought him something which I think is, was sensationally unhinged, even in dry weather,
let alone in biblical wind and rain, which is what we were experiencing. And poor guy,
he was quite unwell as well. He had a really bad toothache and, but we had a great, we had a
fun day. I'm really pleased with the film. So I'd love you to go and watch it. All right.
Bloody well. And if, if Fish von Merillion wants to watch it, he's more than welcome to as well.
All right. Well, that's great. Second thing is, I don't know, I've written some books,
watch, yeah, yeah, loads of them. Which one? I don't know how to be a motoring journalist by
Roy Lanchester is available on Amazon as an ebook or a paperback. It is a, an autobiography
effectively of the fictional motoring journalist. Roy Lanchester includes an anecdote about
vomiting on Jackie Stewart. And the third thing I was going to tell you is that, do you know,
do you know which country invented the chainsaw? Do I know which country invented the chainsaw?
Can you give me a clue? Is it like really unusual? I'm going to say no. It's not like Luxembourg or
because I'm immediately gravitating towards which country you probably uses more chainsaws.
Well, that's the thing, isn't it? The temptation would just be go straight for Sweden or Canada
or something. Yeah, or Brazil. Oh, good. No, it's not totally out of spec because you'd go,
okay, there that tracks. It's Scotland. Really? However, do you know why? Is it Fish von Merillion?
Yes, the fish saw. Do you know why it was invented? No, it was not invented for chopping down trees.
What was it used for then? It was originally developed for use in childbirth.
What? I mean, I won't get too deep into the medical details, but it can be necessary in
childbirth to cut away bone to enable successful birth. And that is where the chainsaw came from.
And then somebody went, oh, wait a sec. Maybe I'll use this for chopping trees as well.
Oh my goodness. Yes, nuts, isn't it? So, who knew? Scotland. Did Jackie Stewart invent it?
He'd be quiet. I just asked him. He just doesn't like to talk about it.
I don't know, Johnny. I don't know. I don't know. So it seems appropriate to say thank you very much
for listening and we'll do this all again next week. But for now, goodbye. Thank you, everybody.
And maybe leave a nice review.
Oh, I've had that big cough stored up for ages, particularly one like it just accidentally
breathed in a mouse hair or something. And it's just
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About this episode
The guys mark a numbering headache—episode 400/401—then bounce through car culture: Lotus’s push toward a range-extended Eletra, why modern “simple” cars aren’t really simple anymore, and a debate on whether Lotus should focus on smaller sports cars (with a TVR-style daydream). Listener stories bring laughs and heartbreak: a “man with ill-fitting trousers” tale tied to a crash, plus a touching Francis Barnett “Fanny B” email. News covers Eagle Specialist Vehicles/Wilcox limousines going into administration, sparking talk on funeral-car longevity. The rest is BMW i3/iX3 chatter, EV range expectations, and a Bentley visit anecdote.
Original notes
Jonny and Richard discuss a needlessly specific BMW specialist. Also in this, the 400th episode of Smith and Sniff (but also, not), who’s got the Lotus Evora, simple cars, follow-up on a listener’s crash story, bad news about Eagle, cars v planes, an encounter in Five Guys, the new BMW i3 and various Ken Lees.
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Smith and Sniff
Jonny Smith and Richard Porter
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58:50