Is the new Audi Nuvolari starting the shift back to ICE? | The Car Podcast #91

Is the new Audi Nuvolari starting the shift back to ICE? | The Car Podcast #91 The Car Podcast with Chris Harris & Friends · Jun 12, 2026

Annotations will appear as you listen

0:00

83:36

Term

V8

A V8 is a type of engine that has eight cylinders arranged in a V shape. People like it because it usually sounds and feels more “classic” than smaller engines or electric-only cars.

Brand

Vauxhall

Vauxhall is a British car brand. The host is saying it used to be more of a big deal in the past, and they’re surprised it isn’t talked about as much today.

Brand

Aston Martin

Aston Martin is a British car brand famous for fancy, sporty cars. Here they’re talking about how good the car looks and feels—like it’s almost perfect.

Brand

Audi

Audi is a German car brand that makes premium cars. Here it’s mentioned as part of the “good news,” suggesting something new or exciting is happening with Audi.

Concept

rally car

A rally car is a race car built for rally events—roads with dirt, gravel, and lots of bumps. It’s made to stay controllable and tough even when traction changes constantly.

Car

The Range Rover is a large, comfortable SUV made for both everyday driving and rougher roads. People talk about it because it’s meant to feel luxurious while still being capable. A black one is especially noticeable and memorable.

Term

riveted arches

“Riveted arches” means the wheel-arch panels are attached with rivets you can see. It’s a small construction detail that can help tell which version of a car you’re looking at. Here, it’s used as a clue to confirm the Porsche’s generation.

Car

Porsche 911 (993)

A Porsche 911 (993) is a specific generation of the classic 911 model. It’s the final air-cooled 911 generation, and collectors often care about it. In this moment, they’re confirming the exact 911 generation of the car they saw.

Term

Odisson system

This sounds like the car’s built-in music system. They’re saying they can update the software, and then tweak the sound settings to try to improve the bass.

Term

graphic equalizer

A graphic equalizer is a sound-tuning tool. It lets you adjust different parts of the audio (especially bass and treble) so the music sounds better in the car.

Term

subwoofer

A subwoofer is the speaker that handles the deep “boom” part of music. If the car’s speakers don’t make enough bass, a subwoofer can make it sound fuller—sometimes with extra installation work.

Term

becker

“Becker” sounds like part of the car’s audio equipment. They’re saying they might need to take it out to install a subwoofer properly.

Term

CD player

A CD player is the part of the car that plays music from CDs. They’re saying they might remove it temporarily while doing the audio changes.

Term

GT3

GT3 is a race class. Cars from different brands are prepared to the same general racing rules so they can race each other more fairly.

Place

Thruxton

Thruxton is a real race track in the UK. The episode is describing a track event where people helped organize the day and drove cars on circuit.

Car

Mclaren F1

The McLaren F1 is a very rare, high-performance supercar. It’s known for being built with serious engineering and a driver-first design. The “Longtail” is a special version made to be even more track-focused.

Topic

Monaco Grand Prix

The Monaco Grand Prix is a famous Formula 1 race run on city streets in Monaco. It’s hard to pass there, so how the race starts (and restarts) can matter a lot.

Term

second standing start

A standing start means the cars are stopped on the grid and then launch from a standstill. If it’s the “second” one, the race had to restart again, which often makes things more unpredictable.

Term

second restart

A restart is when the race is paused and then starts again. If it’s the second restart, drivers have to reset their timing and positioning twice, which can lead to more mistakes.

Term

penalty

A penalty is a punishment for breaking the race rules. It can cost you time or position, depending on what the officials decide.

Car

Peugeot 205

The Peugeot 205 CTI is a small sporty hatchback. It was made to be more exciting than a normal family car. People often talk about it because it’s a classic “driver’s” version of the 205.

Car

Ferrari 308

The Ferrari 308 GTS is a classic sports car with a V8 engine in the middle of the car. It has a roof setup that lets you drive more open-air than a normal coupe. It’s often mentioned because it’s a well-known Ferrari from that period.

Car

Ferrari 308 GTB

The Ferrari 308 GTB is an older Ferrari sports car with a V8 engine placed in the middle. It’s a coupe, meaning it has a fixed roof. People talk about it a lot because it’s a classic and very recognizable Ferrari.

Car

Jensen Interceptor

The Jensen Interceptor is an older British sports grand tourer—basically a car meant for comfortable fast driving. It’s known for having a strong, powerful feel. The podcast is using it as a fun, memorable classic example.

Car

Lancia Fulvia

The Lancia Fulvia is an older Italian car that came in different versions. The “1.6HF” is a more performance-focused version with a bigger engine. People mention it because it’s a well-known classic Lancia with a sporty reputation.

Car

Ferrari Ff

The Ferrari FF is a special Ferrari because it has all-wheel drive, so it can grip the road better than many other Ferraris. It’s meant to be a fast, comfortable “grand touring” car you can use more often, not just on perfect days.

Car

Lamborghini Countach

The Lamborghini Countach is a very famous older supercar with an extreme, angular design. It’s known for being fast and for looking unlike most other cars. People compare it to other classic supercars because it’s such a recognizable reference point.

Topic

Autosport magazines

Autosport is a well-known magazine about racing and cars. Here, the host is talking about old issues they keep around.

Car

Lancia Delta Integrale

The Lancia Delta Integrale is a famous turbocharged rally-inspired Lancia. Here, the host is describing a frustrating problem with something he keeps having to deal with on his own Integrale.

Car

GT3 RS

The GT3 RS is one of Porsche’s most track-focused 911s. Here it’s mentioned because the same fuel-filler flap design shows up on it too. The host doesn’t like the “fake metal” look/feel even on a serious performance car.

Car

Porsche 928

The Porsche 928 is a Porsche GT coupe with a V8 engine. It’s known for being a more “grand touring” style car than the 911.

Term

filler flap

The fuel filler flap is the little door on the side of the car that you open to access the gas cap. The host is saying the flap and cap should work together smoothly, not fight each other.

Term

filler cap

The fuel filler cap is the part you open to put gas in. The host is judging how well it lines up and how securely it stays attached when you open and close it.

Car

Alpine A110

The Alpine A110 is a small sports car designed to feel light and quick to drive. People talk about it because it has a clear, recognizable style and handling. Even small parts of the car can stand out, like the fuel filler area.

Term

jet wash

A jet wash is the high-pressure water spray used at car washes. They’re saying some people don’t realize the filler opening is different, so they may spray water where it shouldn’t go.

Term

data-driven

“Data-driven” means using lots of measurements from the car to guide decisions. Teams look at numbers like speed, tire behavior, and engine performance to figure out the best plan.

Term

restarts

In Formula One, “restarts” are the moments when the race resumes after a safety car or red-flag interruption. Drivers must manage clutch/launch timing, tire temperature, and traction while the field is bunched up, which makes restarts high-risk and strategically important.

Term

engine equivalence rules

These are rule changes that try to make different engine types compete more fairly. The sport measures engines and then applies limits so one design doesn’t automatically dominate.

Term

engines

They’re talking about racing rules that focus on the engine. The point is to separate what the engine contributes from what the driver and the rest of the car contribute.

Person

Antonelli

They’re talking about a racing driver named Antonelli and how he was lapping other cars. The takeaway is that driver skill can make a huge difference in a race.

Person

Lewis Hamilton

They’re talking about Lewis Hamilton, the famous Formula 1 driver. The host is discussing contract terms—how long he wants to sign for.

Term

six hours

That “six hours” is about endurance racing—cars have to keep going for a long time. Instead of racing for a short burst, the goal is to stay fast and reliable for hours.

Car

Ferrari 430

The Ferrari 430 Scuderia is a high-performance Ferrari based on the 430 model. It’s built to be more track-like and more focused on driving feel than a regular version. The “Scuderia” name signals a more performance-oriented setup.

Term

FF rear end

“FF” means the engine is in front and the drive wheels are also at the front. That affects how the car grips and how it feels when you accelerate out of corners.

Car

Aston Martin Rapide

The Aston Martin Rapide is a luxury sports car with four doors. It’s meant for comfortable fast driving, not just short trips. The podcast is talking about how its drivetrain setup can relate to performance and racing-style ideas.

Term

V10

V10 means the engine has 10 cylinders arranged in a V shape. Cars with V10 engines are usually built for strong, exciting performance.

Car

BMW M5

The BMW M5 is a fast, sporty BMW sedan. It’s made by BMW’s performance division and is designed to drive quickly while still being practical. The “V10” refers to the engine type used in a famous version of the M5.

Term

series

Here, “series” doesn’t mean a TV show—it means a specific version or lineup of a car. They’re saying that particular version looks great to them.

Car

Jaguar Etype

The Jaguar E-Type is an older sports car known for its distinctive look. People still talk about it because it’s considered a classic. The comment suggests that, despite its fame, some people may not be interested in buying one.

Term

W12 engine

A W12 engine is a type of engine with 12 cylinders arranged in a special compact shape. It’s known for being smooth and powerful, and the speaker wants that engine in the car.

Term

ice-cold air conditioning

That’s just the car’s climate control—how cold it can make the cabin. The speaker is saying they want modern comfort, not just old-school looks.

Term

MUSIC

Hello, and welcome to the car podcast with Chris Harris

and people he still calls friends.

Just marginal.

There's been some quite spiky interactions before this.

Cooper puts something in his tea and he's on one,

so watch out for him during this because he's got a bit of a habit

of telling jokes around the third Reich that he finds hilarious.

Some of us don't.

That's a joke about a cat.

No, it was actually really funny.

It's about the place you see the cat looks like.

Anyhow, I'm now going to start off with a factoid.

Actually, I'm going to start off with something better than that.

I'm going to ask you, Malernid Luddites,

whether you can answer a question

and the answer to which reveals a factoid.

It's amazing how this podcast develops.

Here we go.

It's 1953 and Daimler has just launched its new small saloon.

It's called its new vehicle, the Conquest.

Why?

Everest.

Yeah, could be that.

This is the most British thing you've ever heard.

The car was priced before taxes at 1066.

So they called it...

That's when the bloke got the arrow in the eye.

King Harold, yes.

King Harold.

Can you imagine?

They could have called it the Norman.

They could have called it the...

They could have called it the Battle Hastings.

Yes.

They could have called it the Bio.

The Daimler Battle.

I'd have bought a Daimler Battle.

Yeah, I think that sounds good.

And actually, it wasn't the Conquest of Everest, technically.

It was a British-led expedition,

but it was a New Zealander and a Nepalese.

Edmund Hillary, yes, yes.

Yeah.

It's a really weird intensity.

Why always me?

Well, who's a footballer that had that t-shirt that you said?

Was it Balotelli?

Balotelli?

Why always me?

Well, there's a clue in that!

Right.

Here we go, then.

Here we go.

What have we done in cars this week?

Forward slash good news.

Because Neil Clifford is our ray of positivity,

which I am now going to ruin after he's been positive.

Neil, you can go first with your positive news.

Well, I'm going to leave Chris Cooper to talk about the howl.

It's fair to say...

It's fair to say it was very good.

Very wet, but very good.

It was better than it was wetter.

And it was quite wet.

I'll let you do that.

I've got a lot of good news.

One is there's an amazing-looking Audi

that looks like a cat.

LAUGHTER

Hopefully, maybe some people will get that joke.

No, I like the new Audi.

We did talk about this at our little live podcast.

OK, it looks a little bit like a Lamborghini at the back.

But, you know, you've got to get the good news.

Oh, what's that?

That's a picture of me with my head between Jordan's legs.

I did think it was Jordan.

Yeah.

Is that with Hugo Andre and Haynes?

That's a few weeks ago, that, isn't it?

Hello.

Was that before Driver's Republic?

Yeah, well before.

That was before I would think what a Republic was then.

Yeah.

So, I think...

You know what a fish supper was, though?

Carry on.

You know what?

I think we are at the tipping point,

or the fulcrum.

Maybe it's not a fulcrum.

That's just in the middle of something else, isn't it?

A fulcrum.

Outman and Manish were the Spaniards.

I think there's good news ahead.

I think all the manufacturers are going to make loads

of really good cars again.

Because everyone's decided and figured out

that if you make shit cars, nobody bars them.

Yeah.

So, I think we're going to see lots of really good cars,

including the Audi that looks like a cat

with a Lamborghini back,

but it's got a V8 and we should all celebrate

that manufacturers have decided

they're not just going to make electric cars,

which of course are also very good,

because we can't be too negative here,

but cars with engines are also very, very good.

I also read, and my source of news

is mainly auto car, because it's a great magazine.

We're going to talk about magazines later.

It's really good.

There's a new Vauxhall.

And I thought Vauxhall didn't really exist anymore,

because we never talked about Vauxhall,

but of course Vauxhall, whether it had been the 1930s,

where they were basically Bentley,

or the 1980s, where they were just like really cool and Ford,

if you wanted to be a bit less Ford, but still as cool.

They're making a new car, and it looks very pretty.

So I thought that was very good.

And then I thought, which obviously is not good news,

but it's only in my head, but I did have a little idea.

Why doesn't Aston Martin just go and phone up Pinaforena?

Because we're all winging about,

wouldn't it be wonderful if Pinaforena made Ferraris again,

and Ferraris are all a bit ugly?

I think there's a point where they could just jump the market here,

and just make pretty cars again by getting Pinaforena in.

And that's what I would do if I was at Aston Martin.

But I know that's not good news.

That's just a funny little idea I had in the traffic on the way home.

But isn't Pinaforena now owned by Tata?

Yes.

Do they have the same aesthetic even?

Do they?

Well, Indians have got some style managed, haven't they?

I guess so, but you know.

You'd like to think there's an Italian auto in there somewhere?

Maybe.

I wonder if it's the same company.

If we're all moaning about Ferraris,

and we don't like the look of them anymore,

Aston Martin is sort of getting it nine-tenths right, aren't they?

They're just going to move them a bit cheaper,

and maybe a little bit prettier,

because the insides are nice,

but maybe the insides are nice on the outsides.

But there's lots of good news on auto car.

Vauxhall and Audi, particularly.

Very good news this week.

Have you seen a bag of Vauxhall?

They've reintroduced a motorsport car.

Oh.

Have they gone rallying?

I should know this,

but I think they've reintroduced a rally car.

Have they?

Yes, I know.

I think they have.

Which is good news.

It's good news.

Yeah.

We like that.

It's going to be done this week that was either good news

or you have some news.

No, I talked about it.

I talked about it in the other pub.

I'm going to talk about it again.

I went to see my favorite coach Trimmers.

I went to Rokies,

and I always find it like entering your favorite sweet shop.

You're just wondering which cars are going to be in there.

There was a rather beautiful Porsche GT2

that they're completely putting in parts.

There's one Range Rover, rather beautiful thing.

It's black,

and it's going to have the same Vomal as Lola inside.

Which 992 was it?

Which GT2, sorry?

I cannot remember.

It was just silver and taken apart.

I think it was a 99.

Let's have a little look.

Did it have riveted arches?

It did have riveted arches.

Oh, 993.

993.

Okay.

So really, rather beautiful.

Then we did the traditional pub lunch,

and I had Tuko with me,

and I had a chicken pie and thick chips.

I just tell you,

this is the kind of old fashioned,

wondrous fun that you have

when you have people who are really much more like friends

than they are like people that you've commissioned work today.

I've got this lovely photo.

I think Finley can put it up.

This is what you want from people that you...

Get invoices from.

Yeah, that you want invoices from.

Exactly.

You have a dog.

You have Rookie.

I'm waiting.

I am waiting.

So the good news is apparently they can do a sort of...

They can do an update for the Odisson system that I've got.

It's a software update,

and then they can play with the graphic equalizer,

get the base up.

The bad news is we think the base will never be quite good enough,

so I might have to have a subwoofer installed somewhere,

and that means probably removing the becker from the boot.

I won't throw it away,

but I'll leave that CD player somewhere.

The other really rather lovely thing that happened

was I met somebody called Aldo.

Aldo runs his own...

He does, he's quite fabulous.

I didn't know that,

so Aldo actually started off in business with Joe McCurry,

and I visited his premises.

I saw one of those beautiful Berlinetta boxes I've ever seen in my life.

It was a 365, it was just gun metal with the oxblood interior.

It looked like a poster.

But what this man doesn't know about Ferraris,

I just challenge anyone,

and he's a giant bear of a man, two dogs,

and I have to say,

this I guess falls into our,

is doing errands around your car fun,

and I would say stratospherically fun,

and I think the car will be ready before Wilton,

so hopefully I'll be able to drive her there next weekend.

It has to be fixed or upgrade the hi-fi.

I think the right-hand loudspeaker is not working.

I think when they removed the door card to fix the central locking,

which wasn't working, the wire must have fallen out,

but also remember it had the power draw problem,

so they've actually managed to finally source a vanity mirror,

the electrical thingy to put in the left-hand blind.

So yeah, she's had one or two, as you know, small teething issues,

but I feel next Thursday she may be ready.

Very nice.

I sure had the sensitivity to not attempt to complete a journey

because one of the speakers wasn't working in my car.

I wish I had that.

If I look at the stuff I've been doing with my rat-bag correction of cars,

that's quite lightweight,

but I like the idea that your perfectionism, isn't it?

Chris Cooper, what's happened to you this week?

Well, Neil, thank you.

I would like to say how happy and lovely our Howl event,

Howl exclamation mark.

It's the Westwood Ho of track days.

Yes.

So it's a peculiarly British analogy.

There is a beautiful seaside resort on the north coast of Devon

called Westwood Ho.

I think it's the only place named, certainly in the UK,

that has an exclamation mark on it.

So it's a VWUP of seaside resorts,

which is a VWUP on the seaside resort of track days,

Howl exclamation mark.

I'm glad I had the chance to explain that.

It pissed down with rain.

It was very, very wet,

but we had a lovely time.

Chris did lots of fast rides.

I did lots of fast rides.

My boys did fast rides in their catering.

We had some fantastic cars from Porsche

who provided the GT3.

Catering provided us a couple of 420 cups,

and Bentley, in the inestimable shape of Mike Sayer,

came along and drove their Bentley GT3 race car.

Very good.

I can't believe you didn't have a driver for that.

Say again?

Didn't you have a driver for that?

I'm not allowed.

It's above my pay grade.

I didn't have a driver either.

It was a fantastic day.

Thruxton were brilliant.

So to Ben, Ben and Lorne at Thruxton who helped us organise it,

I hope that you had as much fun as we did.

Ben Taylor, who runs Thruxton the BRC,

was at seven o'clock in the morning

in the car park in the rain,

he's a complete trooper, so it was brilliant.

And Tother Ben and Lorne were brilliant as well.

We caused a bit of chaos, but they coped with it.

It was lovely.

There's quite a poignant moment in the morning

where Rob, who's the chief instructor,

senior person of organising track day,

I thought very, in a very lovely way,

a very poignant way,

reminded everybody that the 6th of June,

which was the date on Saturday,

was also obviously the date of the start of the D-Day,

an invasion of Europe, the Second World War.

And from Thruxton,

Allied forces and gliders

and paratroop aircraft launched to

save the continent and the modern world.

And those freedoms, as Rob said on the day,

were those that allowed us to have

a no-noise limit day at Thruxton

80 odd years later, so thank you very much.

So that was a lovely, lovely bit of good news.

The other bit of good news is that on Friday,

the 17th of July, so six weeks away,

we're back at Clapham Grand.

We were there last year.

We had a fantastic stage show.

A few guests, a bit of laugh and joke,

lots of audience participation.

We planned to have about an hour and a half,

but in the end we eventually said,

we've got to go home at, like, 11 o'clock at night,

after we'd all been there for about three hours or so.

It was fantastic. It was a lovely event.

So go to the Clapham Grand website,

just Google Clapham Grand, and you'll find us.

Friday, 17th of July, come along.

We'll have a blast.

Yeah, definitely.

That photo of me just about to get into that GT3

to be driven by Sayre in the wet.

How good was that?

Good fun.

Oh, I've got one more thing to say.

Sorry. Good.

As long as it's good news.

It's good news.

A very, very lovely gentleman,

who was a big fan of the podcast, was there,

and he talked about...

He was a big fan of Riyadh,

and he...

We gave you a mat.

It's beautiful.

This is an actual model of one of the Red Arrows

from last year's Riyadh.

They're...

Hang on. I need to find this.

I've done it again.

We'll let it get in later.

Clapham, bloody thing you've sent me.

So we'll put the details up

of their aircraft model shop.

There's one in Uxbridge, one near Heathrow.

Riyadh's not happening this year.

The whole thing's been cancelled.

So we'll put the details of this shop

to please go to his shop and buy lots of lovely things,

because he was a complete trooper,

and that was fantastic.

So that was a very, very happy, lovely day.

He also gave me a lovely...

Well, I can't believe I said lovely as well.

I've got to say Croix Paris.

He gave me a model of the McLaren F1 Longertale

that I drove for a full year.

And it was exactly the right car.

He said, I'm sorry, this might not be the right one,

because I think this was the spare car for the season.

And I went, that was the one I drove.

It was the spare car.

And it's got the top gear stickers on the side of it.

This is them.

Aviation Retail Direct.

He didn't fucking bring me a model.

Yeah, normally.

That's interesting.

He said he thought you were a bit of a prick.

Yeah, yeah, I am.

He said, who's that fucking peacock over there

with the bright yellow top on?

Yeah, who's that?

He thinks he's Liam Gallagher.

And he said that Manish's quiche was disgusting.

By the way, you never talked about my quiche.

You ate my quiche.

Your quiche was absolutely delicious.

It was, yeah.

Thank you.

I think you were having your third lie down that day

so I could talk to you.

You were banished.

Right.

Okay, so we did the howl.

Lots of driving.

Drove in lots of different cars.

I'm not sure what I can add to that really.

What else did I do?

Of course we had the Monaco Grand Prix, didn't we?

Yeah.

So, which I sort of endured really.

And everyone's saying I got really exciting at the end.

Did it?

I'm not sure it did.

I think it sort of,

they had a bit of tarmac peeled up

and Anthony was down the road.

He coped with the second standing start extremely well.

I thought George was at times unlucky.

I thought what he did at the end of the race

when he backed the whole grid up as they exploded away

after the second restart was he was incredibly lucky

not either to get a penalty or to have someone chin him afterwards

because that caused a few problems.

I thought it was great to see Lewis on the podium.

I thought it was amazing to see Kim Kardashian walk past

that special exclusive area where no one's allowed in.

He just casually picked up under these towel,

wiped her tits with it and put it back again.

Which I'm not sure I would see happen on their broadcast.

There we go.

As they say, keep those bristles dry.

But I mean, he put it, it's amazing that he still astounds me

that that is, that's the blue ribbon event of the sport that we love.

And it's shit. It's ridiculous.

It's basically like saying it's an amazing football match.

It's right in the centre of an amazing town.

It's in the Vatican. It's in an unbelievable location.

But I'm telling you now before we start,

it's probably going to be an ill-all draw.

Yeah.

And I just think Monaco is an enigma.

It's an enigma.

Maybe that's why it is ultimately brilliant for everyone involved.

But I just don't get it at all.

Has it got worse just because the cars have got big?

I presume that there's no...

Yeah.

So maybe just for that race, use half-size cars.

Yeah, caterers.

Well, they try that.

Yeah.

Go watch the Supercut race.

It's full of action, amazing racing, lots going on.

Don't forget, 15 years ago, it wasn't...

You couldn't overtake it.

You can only overtake if you get a really good toe in the tunnel before the chicane.

That disappeared 10 years ago, didn't it?

They stopped doing that 10 years ago.

I don't doubt that it's an incredible demonstration of skill.

The way they brush the barriers is amazing,

but it doesn't trust me.

I'd just be rid of it, rubbish.

So, don't you think that qualifying at Monaco is a lot, lot better than the race?

That hour of qualifying...

Yeah, that's fine.

...with the three heats, you really...

They go for it.

Have three types of cars.

Yes, have two or three different types of qualifying or a time attack,

and then the winners get to give the losers a Chinese burn

or, I don't know, whatever they do.

But as it is, the format is just...

You have to try their partners Bristol, something like that.

They could do, yeah.

Very leather.

Yeah, towel down, towel down on the chest.

Towel down for the losers.

Right, let's move on.

Here we go, photos.

Wow, this is interesting.

Quick biscuits and cars quiz for the...

Yes.

This is a prototype section of the podcast.

This is the equivalent of the Jag 001 before you see the real one,

but this is like...

I like it.

Yes.

So, this is just a test to see whether biscuits and cars can be a quiz.

So, I'm just going to read out five biscuits,

and you've got to say whatever car comes into your mind.

And that is what you think is what this...

Can I suggest that if you open it to the floor,

we'll all talk over each other.

So, maybe you need to nominate each one of us in turn.

Otherwise, it'll be a zoo.

Okay, all right.

Well, I'm going to start with Manish.

There's no right or wrong answer here.

It's just whether you can be quick and whether you can be even slightly funny.

Okay, so the first...

I have no idea what we're talking about.

I was just reading something else every second.

I know.

Well, you need to concentrate.

I do need to do that.

You need to read your phone.

I'm going to read out a biscuit.

It's obvious.

Don't we all do this?

Yeah.

This is like norm.

And you've got to reply with what car it is.

Yeah.

And then I will judge how good it is,

and then I will give a winner.

Got it.

And you each can have one biscuit each.

Okay.

Manish.

Rich tea.

Daimler, double six.

Van den Plaat.

Double what?

What?

Yeah.

That's good.

I'll give you seven out of ten for that.

Thank you.

Chris.

Jaffa cakes.

We both call Chris.

Okay.

Harris.

Jaffa cake.

Yeah.

That's the Peugeot 205 GTO 1.9.

Oh, is it?

Yeah.

A little bit zesty.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Okay.

Mr. Cooper.

Jammy Dodger.

I think is a voxel calibre.

Oh, yes.

Trinobar.

Yeah.

Edgy.

I can't ask myself.

Right.

Manish.

Fig Roll.

Ferrari 308 GTB.

Is it?

Yes.

You're just calling out car names.

Actually, on the subject of Fig Roll,

can I just ask a lead on question from that biscuit?

Yeah.

Is it acceptable to dip a Fig Roll into?

No.

There are so many DuBlon tenders in there.

I don't quite know which one.

No, but there's not.

To make the Fig Roll ain't for dipping.

You know that.

And it ain't a biscuit, really.

No, it is a biscuit.

It is a biscuit.

Jaffa.

No, does it have VAT on it?

Yes.

Then it's not a biscuit.

It's a cake.

Well, a Jaffa cake.

We didn't know the answer on the VAT, to be honest.

Wait a minute.

Carry on.

I've never thought of it as a Fig Roll as being Ferrari 308.

Yeah, but you know, it is in our head.

Okay.

The second best-selling biscuit in the United Kingdom,

because I did look at the top 20 sales over the last 12 months,

and this goes out to Chris Cooper.

Here's the dark chocolate digestive.

Dark chocolate digestive is a gentle interceptor.

Oh, sophisticated.

Expensive.

Yeah.

Brakes a lot.

Yeah.

I suppose.

Yeah, we should be reading something out now.

I'm going to read something out now.

Yes, a Fig Roll is widely considered to be a biscuit.

It features a soft, sweet fig paste filling wrapped inside a crumbly,

pastry-like biscuit dough.

So it is a biscuit, Mr. Cooper.

It is.

The one thing I disagreed with when I was looking at the top 20,

they had a wagon wheel on there.

No.

That is not a biscuit.

Wagon wheel biscuit.

No, that is a biscuit.

No, is it surely?

It is a biscuit.

No, but I know, okay, they used to be that big,

and now they're only that big.

But still, I don't think marshmallow really is a biscuit.

Name another marshmallow biscuit.

The Tonnex thing.

Tonnex G Cake.

It's not a biscuit.

That's a cake.

I suppose it includes it in the phrase, T Cake.

Well, you say that.

I've just looked up Fig Roll.

It's legally and culinarily considered a biscuit or a cookie,

if you're from a mental consistency.

I think we've acknowledged the Fig Roll is a biscuit.

This is the reason why I shared it with you,

because it says they differ from cakes

because they're made with a firm pastry-like dough

and they soften rather than harden

when left exposed to the air.

I think we're carrying it to Jubilon Taunder along nicely this evening.

They were one of my favourite biscuits as a child.

You've also covered the fact that you were completely wrong.

That's all you've done.

You have just explained the fact that you were wrong.

Carry on.

The last biscuit on my list,

and then I will also tell you what the top-selling biscuit is.

This is for Mr Harris.

It's the Gary Boldie.

Oh, my God.

Lancia Fulvia 1.6HF.

Yeah, that's good.

Didn't your mum always tell you they were flies?

They were called flysemitrists.

Why did mums do that?

It was a weird thing to do, wasn't it?

Well, I suspect for some of us, we were flies in there.

I couldn't afford to sort on it at all.

Oh, God, put the violins away.

Right, let's go.

Have we got the best-selling biscuit in the UK nailed?

Can you tell us?

It is the chocolate hobnob.

I was going to guess that.

So what would the chocolate hobnob be as a car?

Mr Pandey.

So we asked you what the chocolate hobnob was, a car?

Chocolate hobnob of a car.

Ferrari FF.

I think it's quite magnificent.

I think you're just calling out random names

that you want to up the value one.

We're not.

You think that.

We're not.

We're answering the question correctly.

We've been here before.

OT, chocolatey, rich.

You know, I buy that.

FF.

Yeah.

You know, we do that.

It's something to biscuits.

I'd just like to remind everybody how lovely

the chocolatey joe made for us.

She has a good sense of humour, certainly.

Have you not eaten it?

Bite your head off.

I'm going to bite the head off.

Go on.

Now.

My wife, Lynette, is here about to give me a couple of tees.

I thought that was the Christian Horner shot.

That's the face that went with the finger.

So if they panned out,

that's who you'd have seen the finger belong to.

No, I can't comment on that.

Yeah, you can.

Right, I would like to say that I am concluding

that very successful segment of the podcast, which is...

I think that's a winner.

Yeah, it's a winner.

Yeah, we can definitely never do that again.

Good.

Right, here we go.

Car magazines.

Things you can do with them as you can't stop buying them.

Let's go to Manish.

Well, I had the previous version of this,

which was what do you do with your stacks,

your piles of old car magazines?

Same question.

Yeah, I guess it is.

So I made a list of the car magazines

that I have actually collected over a period of time,

and I'm not sure what I did with them.

So the very first car magazine that I actually collected

was Grand Prix International.

Have you still got one?

I have.

So the first one from 1981.

Wow.

But the one that I remember the best is the one

with Keckie Rosberg on the cover.

He won the Swiss Grand Prix in 1982,

and it's him with his garland and a cowbell.

And can anyone remember where the Swiss Grand Prix was actually...

Dijon?

Very good.

It was at Dijon.

Dijon Prenmoire,

because Switzerland doesn't have a race track.

Didn't have a race track.

Because it was banned.

Exactly.

It was banned.

The Swiss didn't have a motor racing.

So those, I kept in a proper...

I had two proper W.A. Smith box files.

You know the ones with the mousetrap

that make sure they don't move,

but they were not for display,

and I still have those,

and they're very carefully put away.

After that, when that went bankrupt,

I used to collect something called pre-editions,

and that was more the sort of Senate.

That was...

I can't remember where there were every two weeks

or every Grand Prix,

but that was pre-editions,

and they also went into those same boxies,

and then I got into auto sport in a really big way.

And this is kind of happy, and it's kind of sad.

So pre-Senor Death just collected them, collected them,

or, you know, I didn't subscribe.

I used to love just going out,

because they came out on Thursdays.

So Thursdays, news agent, morning, auto sport.

It just became a complete obsession,

and I mean, it just must have had hundreds.

And then, sadly, he...

Oh, Grand Prix International intervening these.

And then when he died, I remember this,

I had this compulsion to keep buying it,

which I did.

And I ended up getting those grey-mooji magazine folders.

You know, the ones from the side that basically

they've got the diagonal, they do this, you know, 90 degrees.

So I filled probably 30 of those up,

literally 30, maybe more.

And I decided, oh, my God, what have you got there?

Okay, you're about to...

So I literally had to give away all the posts

made the first auto sports to a friend of mine.

I just couldn't keep them.

I really couldn't keep them.

And that was almost, I don't know,

I think it would have been a good decade's worth.

I started to collect Grand Prix International.

And that first one came out, I think it was March 1995,

had Michael Schumacher's helmet on the cover.

Those, I have every single one of.

Very good, chocolate hobnob.

Number one.

I bought the binders for those.

That was the first magazine I bought the actual binders for.

And the binders changed size,

because about 34 years into the run,

they decided to make the magazine bigger.

And I've kept all of those.

And then I moved on to the only other one

that I really subscribed to, got were Road Rat.

Caramel Tunnecks.

How many of those have you got?

That reminds you, what happened to the box of snickers

from the Howl on Saturday?

Did you go again?

You go again, hug her off, carry on, manage.

We'll never see those.

And the Road Rat comes with these beautiful, beautiful...

It used to contain 48 biscuits, doesn't it anymore?

Come on, carry on.

Chris has been holding up these lovely tunnecks,

caramel wafer thingies,

and it looks like he's eating about half a box.

You're going to manage, carry on.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

So my last collectible is the Road Rat,

and that comes in these rather beautiful silk,

sort of, you know, silk boxes that contain four issues each.

Look at that.

Look at that beautiful Road Rat there.

You're in that one, aren't you, Mr. H?

Never know.

Might be somewhere.

I'm going to be in the next one,

and it'll be a better article, promise.

Yeah.

So...

There we are then.

That's what we do with our old files.

We systematically collect them, we look after them,

and if there are some that are a bit too emotional to keep,

we give them to friends who've got the library space

who promise to look after them,

will never chuck them away,

but they're all in absolute day-to-order,

and they are a really integral part of my life.

Every grand prix, every driver, every story.

The car magazines that you guys buy, I buy ad hoc.

I've never subscribed to something like car or auto car.

I'll buy those from the news agents ad hoc,

but those are my subscriptions,

and that's what I do with the pile.

What is the...

Is autosport...

Or is it...

What's that other one?

Motorsport.

Which one is the F1 mag now, basically,

is what I'm trying to...

Autosport really doesn't exist as such, in my opinion,

so motorsport, for sure.

That's what I read.

Yeah.

Most of its moves online now, sadly.

Right, Neil Clifford, what do you do with your car magazine?

I'm in a big dilemma about magazines.

Actually, Manage gave me a little thought, which is true,

which is stupid of me.

When I subscribe, and I do,

because I want to keep these lovely magazines going,

so sports and classic sports car works,

bloody cool, Octane, Evo, for sure.

I think that's my three, and probably Roadrat.

I don't read them as much as the ones

that I don't subscribe to,

because that sounds obviously stupid,

but when I go to a WH Smiths or a place like that,

it's because I've got an hour or two on board.

I'm on a plane, train.

I've got a specific bit of time

where I've got time to actually look at the magazine.

So I actually go back to front and mainly look at the pictures,

but if the words are big enough, I read them,

and blah, blah, blah.

When I subscribe, I don't actually look at them as much,

and I think that's a bit of a bloody dilemma that.

I know exactly what you mean.

Yeah, because I work actually much harder than Chris Cooper,

but when I get home, I'm knackered,

I talk to the wife and eat my soup and go to bed,

and you end up with this big pile,

and my lovely wife Emma says,

you can open those bloody magazines,

and then you open them up and you have a quick look through

and go, when I've got some time, I will look at them,

and then you don't, and it's quite sad.

So maybe either I need to buy myself a train carriage

and sit in them at home and pretend I'm on a train,

or I need to cancel the subscriptions

in order that I can buy them at the time where I'm going to read them.

But that really wasn't the answer to my question,

which I know is much more interesting than the answer to my actual question now,

is I don't know what to do with them,

because I've got lots of them,

and here's a, hopefully I won't fuck up my recording or whatever.

Here is my, look at this pile of magazines,

because it's almost like a religion that I cannot throw them away.

So here...

They're quite neat stacks.

They're actual piles though.

Piles, they're not mannishly ordered by page number, by date.

I suppose page number, they do that in the magazine anyway for you, don't they?

They're not volume number.

They're not in that level of order,

but I don't throw them away because it's almost like a bad thing to throw them away,

but then I will end up having a house full of car magazines and nothing else.

Can I say it's a little bit like having an Unicardo repeat order.

You just have 500 cans of baked beans in your fridge, don't you?

If we could have some suggestions,

I suppose you recycle them, don't you?

But that feels bad because one day I will want to read the Countach versus the Boxter

versus the Aston V8 test in 1997's car magazine.

I never will look at it.

That makes me sad.

So I am what you could do, which is what I do,

which is to have a pile of magazines, you know,

close to hand in the office.

So I have a pile of selection of just a random selection of...

Oh God, here we go.

Autosport magazines.

2001, 2002.

And actually, is it 2001?

I look at the front of this one.

What's this one?

Yeah, this is 2001.

Yeah, you're right.

Where's this one from?

This might be 2000.

I can't remember.

Someone's got classified adverts in the back.

Really, really good.

I think it was this way.

We have to thank the good Lord for one thing.

He didn't win that much.

If he'd won more, it would be so much more unbearable.

One more than you, sunshine.

Oh, it's not difficult, mate. I won nothing.

So I just think having piles of magazines just randomly selected,

you know, just, you know,

there or there about, you know, sort of...

This might be 2003.

I can't remember.

Can you...

Mute him.

Deary me.

Just imagine if you'd go, it's unbelievable.

So that's what he's done. That's his answer to the magazine.

I want to come back to the point Neil made,

which is...

The way that you interact with a car magazine,

especially for us,

maybe a motorsport magazine, is a bit like the Peter principle.

Because you get to the point where the relationship is not functioning.

And I think Neil put his finger on the pulse there when he said,

you end up with the magazine arriving or being in a place where you didn't want it.

Yes.

And so that's why I've always bought magazines,

because I know I can have it with me when I want it.

And I'm not organised enough.

I have the subscription to a couple of magazines.

Actually, they're not car magazines at the moment.

And the number of times I buy the bloody thing at the airport,

because I forget to take it with me.

Yes.

And I've got two copies of the bloody thing.

So actually, for me, there used to be a joy

in going to that big, colourful newsstand.

Remember how great the newsstand was.

And you'd go in there thinking, I'm going to buy a car magazine.

That's what I used to do.

I'd go up, I'd get my pocket money.

I'd get out of my boarding house.

I'd run up Clifton Village, 1989, 1990.

And I'd be waiting for car magazine to be there.

I'd go buy a car magazine.

But then I'd read, because I only had money for the car magazine,

I'd read everything else until I get there.

Remember, you used to get told to move on.

You'd be outside, you'd welcome.

Obviously, you were just reading magazines.

I remember there was a right old crow who had a little glint in her eye,

and she'd say, I told you last week, this is not a library.

She comes alive.

And I'd be there reading everything.

This is not a library.

So, actually, there was a joy in buying the magazine on the shelf.

And that's when...

So, Evo was the first one to go to this subscribers cover thing.

Which I never really liked.

I much preferred the busy newsstand-y cover.

Because that's how I bought my magazine.

Part of the joy was maybe, if you were busier and had a job,

thinking, oh, do you know what?

The new car, the new Evo's out,

and then running in and seeing it on the newsstand in its environment.

I loved it.

Yeah.

Instead, you know,

Private Eye is another one.

No stupid subject.

I loved buying that in W. H. Smith randomly and laughing on the train or the plane.

Now I thought, oh, I really like Private Eye.

I must subscribe.

I've never opened the envelopes yet.

Really?

I've got about...

Because I've never got the time.

Sure.

It's the random little slice of time that you...

When you buy them.

But I feel really guilty now, thinking, oh, shit,

I'm going to cancel my subscription to Evo and all of...

But actually, I would read the...

I would probably read them more if I cancelled them.

That's a bit weird, isn't it?

Well, it's interesting, you...

I've been thinking about what you've been saying,

and there's a bit of something in that about what we've talked about before,

which is you always watch the same film.

Ford, Worst is Ferrari.

You always watch that because you know it's good.

Yes.

No risk of disappointment.

The subscription is a way of guaranteeing avoiding disappointment.

Because if you forget it or you go to the shop and it's not on the shelf or whatever,

you know it's there.

So it's kind of that...

I think you might get it early.

You might get it a couple of days before...

Sometimes you get it early, and that's a bit of a little fizzle of excitement.

But there is that sort of...

But I might miss one.

And it's that trade-off between the excitement of seeing the newsstand version

with all the colorful, copal, little star call-outs on the cover.

And I bought it because I'm going to read it now.

I'm going to be on the train or sitting somewhere having a cup of tea.

Interestingly, I defer to the managing of avoiding the risk of missing one

rather than the sort of the instant hit.

Yeah, me too, probably.

But you know, I've tried...

The one magazine that unfortunately is just really shit

because it's exactly the same with the one 20 years ago is Porsche Post.

Christopher, you know.

Christopherus.

No, it's not, is it?

The Porsche... The Christopherus thing, whatever it is, is the Porsche thing.

Yeah.

But the Porsche Club Great Britain.

Yeah, that one.

Bless them.

That magazine where it's like, in East Chilterns,

we are going to the stag pub and having a plowman's

and going to talk about the agenda.

It never changes.

The Owners Club magazine.

We should probably talk another occasion about...

I've tried to cancel it.

Yeah.

I've actually... I've deleted myself from their database.

I've rung them up.

You cannot get rid of that magazine.

It literally... I'll be dead 20 years.

My wife will still be getting it.

Unfortunately, it is boring

and I want to help them make it less boring for free.

But there's no time for these things.

Always time for a busy man.

It's a hard work.

I think the storage and the volume of them...

I'll give you some help.

I'm a hoarder, like a bad hoarder.

And I've kept every car magazine that I've ever bought

what I had done.

And I had...

I had a shed full of them.

It wasn't like a small...

We're talking thousands and thousands of magazines.

When I cleared something out recently, I found

the auto car used to come in big sort of strapped bundles of...

I found the first...

For some reason, I just decided

they must be left over in the office.

I've got 250 issues of the first drive of the Focus RS I did.

I don't know why.

I always thought, I'll keep those.

So anyhow, I had this massive space full of magazines.

I've now had to move away from that space.

And so I had to decide.

Do I just rent somewhere and store all these magazines?

But I just sat there.

I had a joyous afternoon where I sort of flipped through

some bits and bobs and reminisced and got a lot of snot in my face

and dust and all sorts of shit.

And I thought, no, they can go.

So I got a skip and I threw a lot of magazines away.

I kept a lot, but a lot of it didn't mean anything to me.

And they weren't things I wanted to collect.

I kept the EVOs, cars.

Supercar classics is another one that is just incredible.

I've got a brown set of those.

I kept a couple of auto cars that were significant to me

because I worked there, but I didn't keep all my auto cars.

It didn't strike me as a collectible magazine, really.

And that was that.

The rest of it, I went in the bin.

And have I missed it?

Although, randomly, I did buy a copy of auto car on eBay recently

because it had something in it I was interested in.

But no, I think we can hoard these things too much.

Do you think these are a subconscious preparation for retirement?

Do you think when we are unemployed, too old, too shit at our jobs

and we're stuck at home bored, maybe we will then look at them?

Do you need to be bored?

Because you know, one of the things that I used to love

about those Len Dayton novels, the Harry Palmer character,

he used to study war.

And whenever he wasn't on some horrible mission,

he'd pour himself a double scotch and he'd read about a battle

in incredible detail and kind of, you know...

It's just a made-up story.

No, no, no, what I'm saying is that I think people do that.

I do that.

I love reading about, oh, Grand Prix that I've watched.

On a quiet evening, reading about them in incredible detail,

especially if somebody brilliant has written the...

I can tell you what, I love reading a lot of these.

I think a lot of us try and manage our current situation in life

by sort of called preparation for when times might become quieter.

We don't really have any idea that that's going to happen

or any hope it's going to happen.

We all like being busy, don't we?

I think we do make those preparations.

It's a bit like someone once told me to have a pension,

I'm thinking I can't even spell that.

But you know what?

I know.

So you...

I think you do make this preparation.

The car magazine, you're right, is a part of that.

But where actually I'm finding joy in the ones that I kept

is that they're not one of these.

They're not a device.

There's a joy.

I think it's healthier.

I don't know why.

It's still reading words, but it's not backlit.

And it is lovely.

You come across adverts for the Alpina range in 1986

and you just so much that you can burrow into a magazine

and find little bits.

You can find that...

Chris probably finds used bits of Kleenex

stuck to certain pages, but it's different.

I often find that.

Maybe we should start a cafe

and put all of our magazines in them

and we could just have all of our car frames.

I love that.

We can have the Chris Cooper Kleenex corner.

Yeah.

But maybe I would go there at Weirdly

if I could go to this lovely cafe

and meet similar weirdos like us

and have nice coffee and read old pyro mags.

We'd be great, wouldn't it?

Yes.

Sorry, Neil.

I've just read a semi-pornographic headline.

A very good headline.

That was one of my racist ever wins.

I've got one more thing to say just to reflect on what Neil said.

I don't think any of us think about retirement.

I don't.

No.

I don't think we do.

And we're all very, very different people

at different stages of maturity,

some of which will never overlap.

But I don't think...

One of the things that binds us

and our surprising number of them

is I don't think our view of...

And I think that's part of why the car is so important

because the car is always,

whether it's in a magazine or a book or in real life,

it's just a moment of brief rest fight

and enjoyment and pause

before we carry on.

That's why it's so important.

Yeah.

I agree.

I love car magazine.

Is that why?

I can show you some more, actually.

I've got more...

Maybe not tonight.

OK.

You've muted Mr. Harris.

Best petrol cap or worst?

I'm going to go first here.

Yes.

There are two really bad petrol caps in my estimation.

The first is the temporary...

We know there's temporary petrol caps

with the sort of...

Black marbles.

...tropillary thing

that I bought with my Lancia Delta Integrale

and I've yet to change.

And every time I put it in, it's never quite...

And I don't want this to be giggled out.

It's never quite in

or I'm never quite sure of it's in.

And then it sort of seems to winkle its way out again

and I don't trust it.

So I hate that one

and I really ought to buy another one.

I apologize now to my lovely Integrale

that it's had to put up with such an awful bum.

The other one,

and I don't know why it always annoyed me,

was when Porsche built the 997,

Gen 2,

it built something called the

Sport Classic,

which was basically a power kit with a bubbled roof

and they're now worth a zillion pounds,

which is madness, snake oil,

just a Carrera.

They put on that car

a silver,

slightly metal filler cap

on that car.

And I thought it just was neither fish nor foul.

It was sort of a covered plastic.

It wasn't very good.

After that,

because they built, I think,

made too many of these things,

Porsche used that fuel filler

on everything after that that it could.

So you had it on the GT3 RS,

the GT3, GT2,

they all had this bloody silver...

Inside the flap.

Yeah, inside the flap.

And I've never liked it.

I'd rather either have a proper piece of metal

that screws on and off,

or I'd rather have a plastic one.

I don't like the fake metal covered 997,

fuel filler thing.

I've always hated it.

I just don't like it.

Sorry, don't like it.

Yeah.

And conversely,

if we talk about favourites,

pre-all that era,

actually it's pre-996.

It goes 993 and it goes 928.

I loved that high quality German plastic red one.

The red one was everything.

The red one,

the irony is,

the red one in plastic is heavier

than the metal one.

It's just not making any sense.

Anyhow, the best one,

there's only two for me.

The 250 short wheelbase.

Just amazing.

A big flat metal one.

Yeah.

It's a hot car.

And a singer.

Yeah.

A big thing on the singer,

when you take it off

and it's like you've just taken a massive,

like a disco,

sort of let open,

put it on the side of the pump,

it's cool.

The only problem with the singer one

is it's got the tiniest, tiniest key.

Literally,

it's like if the magic fairies of Christmas

had a set of keys,

it would be that key.

And it's like really difficult

to unlock the thing.

And you are nervous,

particularly, you know,

people looking at the car or whatever,

that if you drop,

because you're right in the middle

of a carbon bonnet,

so if you're trying to take this thing off,

and if you drop it,

you look a right twat,

but actually,

it's a lovely fuel cap.

It's a fantastic fuel cap.

Let's go to Manish.

348

355

456512

the paperweight,

as I call it.

Yeah.

And you know,

the really lovely thing about this Ferrari

filler,

petrol cap is it,

I think it weighs about 250 grams.

I mean, it's,

it's heavy.

I think it's been machined beautifully.

It's 4,300 turns

to put it on 4,300 turns to take it off.

And since the latest conflict in the Gulf,

I've got to make friends with it very well.

It's a really bad time to be doing long trips.

I, I, there was a point

where Lola wouldn't start

unless she was perfectly lined up.

I have now memorized that exact position.

It's just, it's beautiful.

It's a, it's a,

they're 225 pounds on eBay.

And I was thinking about getting a second one

just as a kind of wide boy paperweight.

Just so you can get, I've got one.

It's, it's a machine thing of beauty.

Yeah, it's a very, very high quality.

I love my 512 and it was,

once you've dropped them a couple of times,

they're your own dents as well, aren't they?

Chris Cooper.

So I have two things in my mind about petrol caps.

The first one is I'm trying to think of another

sort of, you know,

almost ephemeral part of a car

around which so much hyperbole can be spouted.

Aviation grade aluminium filler cap.

You know, aviation grade aluminium.

You mean it's aluminium.

It's just aluminium.

It's what they're using aeroplanes,

what they're using tin cans.

And the hyperbole you can see talked about them,

I think can get completely out of hand.

Even though the nice ones look really, really nice.

But the other thing, I think petrol filler caps

or the installation,

the overall installation of the flap,

the cap and the little dangly thing

that holds the cap to the car.

I think it's the biggest tell these days

of manufacturers who are skimping

in areas they oughtn't to.

I won't name the manufacturer

where the little sort of the tie,

the little plastic sort of thread

that holds the filler cap when you take it off.

When you try and put the filler cap

into the little bracket thing on the flap of the door,

it just springs out.

Because the springiness of the thing

is not matched to where it's going to go.

And the quality and the fit

of the filler flap

and just what it feels like when you press it.

And it just tells you something

about what they were thinking about when they did that.

By contrast, a really, really clever

way of thinking about the filler cap

is the LP in A110.

I know we find every reason to talk about A110.

A110 hasn't got one.

It doesn't have a separate filler cap.

It's got the flap.

It's got a filler cap, but when you press it,

the cap is effectively a rubber seal

on the inside of the cap.

I suspect if that lovely chap, David,

I think his name was the engineer of the LP in A110,

were to be here.

He would say that was one of the ways

we obsessed about weight in the A110.

It's really handy that.

It's very clever because you can never lose it.

The only downside is if you go to a,

you know, even a very nice

hand car washy place

and they're trying to do it very carefully

and they want to clean on the inside of the filler cap

and they press the thing and put the jet wash in there,

many of them don't know there's no filler cap.

And it happened to me once, you can see them thinking,

oh shit, have I just dropped the filler cap?

Has it been jet washed out?

So I think if I had to pick a favourite,

I'd pick the LP in A110.

I think it's very clever.

It is clever.

It's FF and F12.

Your favourite car filler cap

is a car that doesn't have a filler cap.

Is one that doesn't exist.

Yeah.

It's clever.

I've done mine.

I think I've sort of done mine.

The other little side angle to this conversation

is I don't like

the fuel filler button

because you don't need it.

You just go up to the thing and do that

and press it and it opens.

You're looking around, particularly if it's a higher car

and you're trying to find how to open the petrol thing.

Obviously I've recently discovered

that the little arrow on all modern cars.

I never knew that.

Yeah.

I bet you did.

I didn't.

I only recently discovered it

that it tells you what side the petrol thing is.

I know.

Which is really good.

But I don't like...

It's a button too far for me.

Yeah.

Don't need it.

This is another conversation

which we should probably write down in the list

of things we should talk about.

When your car develops a small fault

that you can overcome or work around

because there is a functionality in the vehicle

that allows you to do so

and you become so comfortable with it

that you don't actually fix the problem.

Mine is that on my...

This sounds ridiculous.

On my Conti T Bentley

that button doesn't work.

But if you open the boot

there's a little cable you pull

and that opens the fuel filler.

So I've never fixed the button

because I quite like everyone looking at me.

I open the boot and I pull my little lever

and it looks like you should have to do it that way

and I think it looks quite quaint.

So I've carried on doing it.

Yes, you're right.

And that...

It's a very dangerous button that.

They go wrong, those bloody things.

Because it's probably...

You know, there's like a...

It's like...

What's the cat that used to sleep in the window

with all the mice?

Bagpuss.

It's like a bagpuss thing.

You press that button

there's definitely like three mice

that live in that car

that have to run to the back

and pull it open.

It doesn't feel...

It doesn't feel like

it's a mechanical, organised or electrical.

What's that cat that used to sleep

with all the mice around it?

It always feels dodgy,

that Bentley bloody button.

We've tried...

We've done a bit of F1,

but I'm sure there's more to be said on the F1.

Chris Cooper can have a little go on the F1 then.

So I didn't actually watch the race.

And I think we've talked about it as a bit in our chair.

And apart from...

I do think...

There is a danger that this year

it did jump the shark a bit with...

I saw some bits on social media

of Martin Brunel being vintage.

Martin Brunel was somebody trying to man-line me.

Don't push me, mate.

I'm nearly famous.

One last year he did where he said,

No, it's all right, mate.

I'm in charge around here.

You're fine.

And it's just the speed and the wit.

Unless he sets these up,

which I know he doesn't,

to come out with these fantastic one-liners

to sort of put down the silly

and the pompous and the up themselves.

The Mercedes battle

and the contrasts in that team after Monaco.

Kimmy's won five in a row.

Youngest ever Monaco winner.

He's the darling of world sport.

And there's George,

who must think the world's against him.

And I know George gets a lot of bad sick

and I know some of you guys think he,

some of it brings on himself a little more.

I look at it.

I've met him a few times.

And I've met his mum and dad.

I don't know them very well.

I just want to give him a hug.

It could be one of our sons.

And I think it's a very good measure of

any sport at any level.

It's still a human being in there.

And is that the famous American president

and the man in the arena speech.

And I just sort of want to, I know it won't be a popular.

I'll get killed for it on the comments.

We all want to give him a hug.

He should come and come on this podcast.

Yeah, that's all I want to say.

Yeah, I agree.

Manish.

I mean, very little to add to what you said.

The build-up is always incredible.

I enjoyed, I really enjoyed the qualifying.

It's funny seeing Charles Leclerc frazzled.

And I haven't seen that news,

regardless of one of the great qualifiers,

a couple of pole positions at Monaco already,

sort of big home favorite.

His qualifying was a little bit scrappy,

hit the wall when he was going for that.

Very last, that last run,

it's now Charles Leclerc,

kind of versus Brembo breaks in the media.

It's a very, I'm finding this season very strange, actually.

And, you know, just go back to something that I'd said

that you can hang me by now two years ago,

which was Toto was looking at the data when he hired Antonelli,

because he effectively said to Lewis,

it's Antonelli or you, and I'm going to take Antonelli.

And I wonder where the Formula One now is such a data-driven thing.

You can sit down, you can evaluate just about everything

on the basis of that, because, you know, he's a phenomenon

where other people have been complaining about the cars

or complaining about the Formula or this or that.

He's just been driving away.

I mean, you just do not win five races in a row

without being something incredibly special.

It doesn't matter what you're driving in your second year in Formula One.

You don't win at Monaco in your second year at Formula One.

It's such a race of precision and daring and, you know,

just putting it out there.

And this boy just seems to have it.

And to deal with those restarts,

he's 19 years old.

And I think that sadly, just sadly about this race,

the thing, I just, my shoulders dropped because I could sort of see it.

The only person in a way who could have kept him honest

hassled him, possibly flustered him a bit, you know,

in certain places was Max.

And to see Max's race over 100 meters was very, very difficult.

And just my last point, it's not sort of about Monaco,

but more about Formula One.

The engine equivalence rules have just,

they benchmark all the engines and they give people tokens

as to how many, you know, development tokens they can have.

And they've worked out that Red Bull have the best engine.

I mean, out of the box, they've decided,

so Red Bull get no tokens for development,

but Mercedes get a token for development,

having won six races in a row.

Kanda get two.

How do you get two?

I mean, it's like, so now you could find them today.

What did Honda get?

Did they get?

They got two.

They got two development tokens.

So, you know, you get naught one or two and they've got two.

And, you know, you just, this engine formula,

we're going to look back at it.

And, you know, hopefully it will be a great season.

And I think, you know, we're enjoying,

we certainly enjoyed Canada.

Sometimes you don't want to turn the rule into spaghetti

and then add further layers of pasta

to kind of how things are supposed to equilibrate.

I mean, what are we going to do if we find in three races time?

Mercedes are two seconds a lap or something faster

than everyone else.

It's going to be, I mean, it's just going to be great

because the rules have just said,

ooh, we only look at the engines.

There is some consolation in that

the driver has the greatest impact at Monaco

throughout the season.

I mean, Antonelli at one point,

I mean, he lapped George.

That must have smarted.

I think by about lap 45,

he'd lapped everyone but the first five or six car.

It was absolutely insane.

How much of it was down to the car?

How much was down to him?

I don't know, but it was pretty...

I think I got it right, didn't I?

Massive.

Oh, my God.

Did he help?

You have to have balls of steel to turn around and go,

I've got Lewis Hamilton

and he wants a two-year contract

with a one-year option

and I'm going to give him a one-year contract

with a one-year option

because I've got this guy called Kimmy Antonelli

that no one's ever heard of.

Lots of people have heard of him, but...

Well, that had never ever driven in a Formula One car.

That's what I mean by no one had ever heard of

because he was a massive champion, the junior...

But he wasn't getting rid of...

I'm not going to name another driver.

And he's got a seven times world champion

who's totally identified with Mercedes

and could have been the Mercedes Heritage Ambassador

for the next two decades.

And he went, no, this is the guy.

Wow, no clue. Did you watch it or not?

I watched it, but not in real time.

I recorded it because I went to Sunday lunch with my family

and then got home and watched it.

And I was desperately trying to pretend

that it was exciting.

Because there were...

You know, even the commentators were like,

this is the one of the most exciting Monaco Grand Prix.

And I'm like, where is the fucking excitement?

Couldn't work it out.

Like, I must be being stupid here.

I know I sort of float across the top 5% of knowledge on F1.

But surely this isn't that exciting

because it's just like a procession.

And then I thought, oh, it's exciting now

because there's been a red flag and this is going to be exciting.

And even that bit wasn't actually that as exciting

as I thought it could be.

So maybe it's the one race where it's more exciting to be there.

Yes.

Everything else is much better than not being there

because you're in Mexico, it's too bloody hot.

You don't know what's going on.

It's all a bit crap.

The food's crap. Everything's crap.

It's much better on the telly.

Maybe this is the one where it's not better on the telly.

I think you might be right.

Let's do a two car garage.

I was given this at the Howell.

It's from George. Well done, George.

We all got one of these.

We did, which is slightly sinister, but we're through it now.

The year 2036 and you're in the market for two new cars.

Under the FIA's leadership, Mr. C. Cooper Esquire.

By the way, you can't have that.

You're either Mr. Cooper or your C. Cooper Esquire.

You can't be Mr. C. Cooper Esquire.

The Nauti's six hour championship is booming

and you fancy joining in.

So you're looking for a race car for you and your mates to use.

It should be from 2000 to 2012.

Nobody except Mr. Cooper knows how the Nauti stretched it to 2012,

but the rules are there to be interpreted.

I like that.

The classes mean it can be anything below F1,

but it can go for six hours and can have a driver change.

As for the PM's turnaround,

the right honourable Mr. Neil Clifford,

a turnaround of the country's GDP is up.

So having a nice car is not frowned upon.

Due to his changes to the Department of Transport,

you're looking for a car that will easily cruise

at the new 110 mile an hour motorway average.

Get you to your place in Nice and be fun when you get there.

It also needs to be interesting enough

when you're invited to the latest Harris-Pandy Premier.

The latest lawsuit means you definitely can't have a Tesla

and you will steer clear of EVs.

Due to your gamble with Aston Martin shares paying off,

again, due to your gamble with Aston Martin shares paying off,

there is no budget.

That wasn't easy to read, George.

Thank you very much.

So we've got a budget...

Absolutely limited budget.

I think there's a passing chance

that both Neil and I might actually

achieve our future career goals as envisaged by George.

What a horrible thought.

Let's carry on.

I think it should be rather that way around than reversed.

Let's let Mr. Cooper go first

whilst we try and get our heads around that dystopian nightmare.

Go on.

I've so won this.

I know Neil always says that, so I've got to say it once.

We've got to have a race car that you can race with your mates.

On car and classic, there are a lot of very, very lovely racing cars.

Actually, an extraordinary number of racing cars.

There are a lot more racing cars than I realised.

There are three pages of them.

When you narrow it down to somewhere between 2000 and 2012,

and although it's supposed to be the noughties,

there is, as Adrian knew it always tells us,

no such thing as the spirit of the rules.

So yeah, 2012 is fine by me.

I'm in charge of the FIA.

So I think a car you could race...

It says very carefully,

it's got to be a car that can go for six hours.

It can't be some sort of sprinty car or a small car.

It's got to be set up for endurance racing.

So I think we would get a Ferrari 430 GTC,

like sort of a GT2 Ferrari 430 from 2008.

Proper endurance car.

We could definitely race that together with our mates.

I think that would be brilliant.

And I was thinking about what would this film be?

I think, given that the shares have paid off,

and we all foresaw that,

Mr. Harrison and Mr. Pandey have made a film about Aston Martin.

Yes.

So I think you want an Aston Martin.

I think you want a very, very special Aston Martin.

And I think...

I think this is a winner.

The Aston Martin you'd have would be that one.

All broke.

The GT2 Bertone, it's sort of...

It's an Aston Rapide with an FF rear end.

I have to say, I'd forgotten that existed.

I think it looks bloody fantastic.

It does, actually.

So that's on car and classic, about 250,000.

The 430 is on car and classic,

I think about 100 and something thousand.

So well within our no-limit budget.

But I think turning up in that

GT2 plus 2 Aston Martin Bertone

would be in the south of France.

You could do 110 all-way.

Yep.

You'd be very cool.

I think you've done a really good job of coming second.

They're well done.

Manage.

OK, so my track car

there is for £950,000 a 2010

Russiolago LP764

but that's where you'd start.

What you would do

is you would convert this little baby

into a proper RSV GT1

and those things have won

and competed in good six-hour racing.

There's not actually a racing car yet.

No.

Not yet, but since I have a non-limited budget...

No, he's got a budget limit.

So really, he's sort of able to do...

I've got no budget limit.

I'm getting this thing converted.

That's what I'm going to do.

And the second car.

I've always felt he's intriguing

and there is one on car and classic.

It's a 2007.

Would you pronounce it

Weisman or Weisman?

Weisman.

Oh, a difference of opinion.

Weisman or Weisman.

Say again.

Weisman.

So it's the MF5.

It's the V10 version.

Oh, yeah.

It's 300 odd thousand.

The Roadster.

I think you could cruise

into any film premiere with that

and people go,

what is that car?

They're so rare,

so pretty,

so well engineered.

And I think with that M5 V10,

I thought you'd be a nice and fine...

I'd love to go to a film premiere.

I like the sound of that.

By the way, just to clear that up, by the way.

In German,

if the E becomes before the I,

that's the I sound.

And if the I becomes before the E,

it's the E sound.

So it's Weisman.

Weisman.

So I like those.

I'm looking at Weismans now.

What are we going to go for?

Nell Clifford.

OK, race cars.

My main focus as you experienced

at the weekend,

I don't like the track.

The only reason for me to drive around the track

is to be driving something stylish.

Yeah, and you're Prime Minister.

You should be leading from the front.

Yes, exactly.

I'd be a much better Prime Minister

than I would a racing car driver.

That is for sure.

And I don't hope so.

I don't like any modern cars, race cars.

They all look a bit pointy and sharp and dangerous.

So I'm slightly, obviously with an unlimited budget,

I can probably reverse engineer this.

But anyway, if you said to me,

what car would you go racing in?

You're going to have a years of tuition

from Chris Cooper and Chris Harris,

and we're going to get you over this problem

and you're going to be a great racing car driver.

I would race in a 911 short wheelbase

65 2.0-litre cup car,

because I think you probably can't see that very well

because of the light.

I think that little series,

I think is just fantastic.

I know it's not quite in keeping with the rules.

Maybe I'll put a 991 engine in it

to make it a more modern version.

But I just think they're super pretty.

That would be my dream.

If I was going to do any racing, that would be my dream.

Then I've got no budget.

I've got my big gaff down in Nice.

The best-looking car in the world,

and I think Chris Harris may actually even agree with me here,

is the Bentley Type R.

Oh, that's the one.

It's all 20% left to my battery.

Honestly, it's the best-looking car in the world.

This one's in velvet green with green leather.

It's owned by some bloody lord from the beginning.

It's the back of that car.

It's just bloody fantastic.

I'm taking it to Bentley,

because they used to be a million quid those cars.

They're now about 600 grand.

Everyone's dying.

No one wants them.

It's like an E-Type.

It's like every other bloody old car.

But I'm taking it to Bentley,

and I'm saying Ben, Mike, do me a favor.

I want to put the W12 engine in this car.

I want it full-on ice-cold air conditioning.

I want modern brakes.

I want it to be a singer R-Type Bentley.

And it's going to be super reliable, super gorgeous.

Everyone's going to want to have a chat with me

at bloody any event possible.

I'm at the Flexi Plus.

I've got a queue of people.

What are my autographs?

It's going to be absolutely fantastic, that car.

I love it.

I like that.

Racing cars.

It's difficult, isn't it?

I came across this.

I think I came across this, which I love.

I think it's the right thing.

It's the Morgan Aero 8 race car.

I saw that in Le Mans.

They were actually quite quick in period.

Racing cars should be stuff that, when you're in the paddock,

they're a bit magnetic.

They're the light bulbs of the moth.

And I think the Morgan is a bit like that.

I'm going to go for the Morgan.

It's also got three windscreen wipers,

like a V12 E-Type, which I love.

The road car, for when I've got to go to my own premiere,

I'm just going to choose a car that I want to own,

that I've been looking at on the site, that I can't afford.

There is a dark metallic red Malzane speed.

It's got a caramel interior and clear glass.

And I think even though it might not be the most special car,

it's probably the best thing for doing 110 miles an hour

and still ever made.

And the spec of that particular car is so amazing.

I can't believe it's not sold already.

2017 car, sadly, is the facelift, but my Lord,

it's absolutely stunning the spec of that car.

It's a speed.

Yeah, it's the one you want.

109 grand.

Buy it, Mr. C.

I'll come and drive you around in it.

Right, here we go.

Let's do some Muzak.

Here we go.

I'll go first.

I'm going to go for...

Did I take a screenshot of it?

Here we go.

No, I didn't.

I didn't take a screenshot of it.

I wrote it down here.

Here we go, he says.

It is Ray Lamontagne.

Do you remember him?

Have you come across him?

Apparently he was discovered.

He was like a busking type character.

He bought an outman about 04 that is incredible.

He's got this super gravelly voice.

And I like the song How Come.

Cool.

So Ray Lamontagne, T-A-N-G-T-A-G-N-E.

Go and listen to that.

It's really good.

Manish.

I've been rather inspired by Mr. Clifford's musical choices recently.

And we exchanged a few texts because I don't know why.

I watched the last week he picked Rent by the Pet Shop Boys.

And I remembered it having a pretty evocative video.

And it really was.

It was a great little thing.

So the other Clifford obsession, I think, is the jam.

And I decided to have a little bit of a listen to the jam this week.

And I absolutely forgot what...

Paul Weller is a genius, isn't he?

Yeah, he is.

His melodies are just off the scale.

So the bitterest pill.

Absolutely.

One of the...

It's an orchestral piece of music.

It's a perfect song.

And it's heartbreaking.

Genuinely heartbreaking.

And it has his little...

He's a bit bitter, isn't he?

He puts a bit of anger into his heartbreak.

It's...

He's always been angry.

Perfect song.

Yeah, I've got a shoe store in Motel one day.

Let's go for Chris Cooper.

I can't believe that it is 32 years this summer since we all thought the best song of that

summer was Seven Seconds by Nina Cherry.

Good song.

Fantastic in a car.

Good job.

Fantastic.

Look at that.

By the time this podcast goes live, the World Cup has started.

Oh, yeah.

And we will all need to embrace the World Cup and support all our teams that we support,

including Scotland for fake Scots people and everyone else in this people.

And the best football song, without doubt, is World Emotion.

It's absolutely...

Even if you're a miserable fuck and you don't like football, that song is really great.

And next Wednesday, whenever it is, the 17th, get your England flag, stick it on your car,

radio, whatever it's called.

What's it called?

Antenna.

Aerial.

And play World Emotion.

Put the windows down.

Could I just add something very quickly?

I noticed in the fixture list that Brazil are playing Scotland.

And I'm going to give you my age here because they lost...

I remember them playing.

It was in 1978.

Yeah, I had to kick off with that.

Sorry, Scotland went 1-0 up and then Brazil beat them 3-1.

I watched that because I'm a massive Brazil fan.

And they call themselves at the time.

Do you remember Ali's Tartanami?

And they had possibly the funniest World Cup song.

It was, we're all Ali's Tartanami and we're on our way to the Argentine.

And we'll really shape them up when we win the World Cup.

Scotland are the greatest football team.

That song lasted 4.2 milliseconds in the 1970s.

I think it's sad we don't do football songs anymore.

Oh, they're brilliant.

It's a rare thing, isn't it?

Maybe we could write a World Cup song for people to listen to in our car magazine cafe

that we're going to open in an empty retail unit at Gordano Services.

We should.

Chris Cooper, can you remind the audience, please,

when the live podcast is going to be in the Clap & Grant?

So Clap & Grant, which is a fantastic theatre, brilliant, mad theatre,

literally outside Clap & Junction station, Friday the 17th of July.

Tickets on sale now from like 30 quid or something.

We'll all be there, probably have a guest or so.

There'll be loads of fun.

You can mingle with everybody.

There's a bar, two bars in it.

What could possibly go wrong?

It'll be mad and lovely.

Come along.

Over and out from me and the team. Bye-bye.

You

0:00

83:36

Odisson system

becker

FF rear end

series

ice-cold air conditioning

About this episode

Original notes