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JCW ARCHIVE: Handy Man
JCW ARCHIVE: Handy Man
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About this episode
The hosts trade stories about stressful dreams and the thin line between premonition and everyday worries. The conversation then pivots to a Florida “Sunshine State News” segment involving an Orlando massage parlor case, including allegations of inappropriate touching by the owner and how evidence was captured. The segment also includes a personal anecdote about accidentally booking a massage at a brothel in Palm Beach—an awkward mix-up that only became clear afterward.
Topics:
florida news
massage parlor allegations
evidence recording
brothel massage mix-up
stress dreams
Get out of my dreams and into my massage parlor! This week the John and the scatterbrained crew jump around from their wives having damning dreams about them (however good or bad that may be) to visions of Asian massage shops serenading their valued customers. We ask the important questions like: Is your wife still mad at you? Was it THAT Reba? and most of all, HOW MUCH?
Thanks for joining us for this week's #JCWPodcast #JCWArchive. Please don't forget to Like, Share, and most importantly, Subscribe--to make sure you get the latest John Clay Wolfe Show materials as soon as they're released! So keep an eye out for that Tae Kwon Do...and we'll see you Saturday
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The John Clay Wolf Show has appeared on Terrestrial Radio for a really, really, really long time.
So we dug into our pockets, and on the other side of our d**k, we found something funny.
And yes, it's contagious.
Gather round as the wolf pack goes on this throwback adventure.
What's the damn deal is ya boi DJ Pre-K with the John Clay Wolf Show up in the archives,
and I've been looking for a good massage spot, man.
Y'all got any recommendations from premonitions and dreams to tiny Asian women getting in between?
We sure enough got the happy ending you're looking for.
Check this out.
It's not typical women. My wife wakes up from a dream this week,
and she's like, oh, that was something good.
I'm like, what was it? She said, well, it was about you.
Like, what was it? I'm not gonna tell you.
Ah.
Because I know it wasn't true. It was too good to be true.
And we get in a rift because she's disappointed because of what I did in her dream that I don't
do in real life that she won't tell me what it was.
God. It's so complicated.
I thought you were going the other way, which is something you did in the dream that she's
now mad at you for.
She said she won't tell me because I'll make fun of her on the radio about it.
Too late.
Instead you're just gonna make fun of her now.
That's funny. She's weird.
I know. I know where it is, man.
You just made it obvious.
What?
Well, I mean, something you did in the dream, you know, that you don't do in real life.
It was a good dream. She said it was a dream of a good dream.
It was a good dream.
Dream was so open. It's a beautiful dream.
What was it, Bob?
I can't say.
You can't say it on the radio.
Charlie, did your wife do stuff like that to you?
Yeah. She'll wake up and say, I'm mad at you because I cheated on her in a dream.
Yeah. And it's like, so are we going to start the day like this? I mean, come on.
What did I do?
Don't worry. There's nothing like that.
You just stop with those weird dreams.
It's like, does she have dreams and then think that's going to really happen in life?
Because I don't know.
I mean, I'm getting a premonition.
No, she didn't. She's just mad at me because I cheated on her in her dream.
I did it somebody once and she would have dreams and she would know.
Just know they're going to be premonitions.
There's going to be a car accident. You're going to do this.
Because you dreamed it? Are you serious?
Is that the Shelly girl?
No. Her name is Reba.
Sounds like a dog.
It's like what you name a pet.
Yeah. No. Her name is Reba.
You dated a girl named Reba?
I did.
She was older than you.
Nope.
Sounds old.
Nope. I never dated anybody older than me.
How much younger than you is Reba?
She was 10.
10 years younger.
And her name was Reba?
Yeah. I know, right?
There you go.
Fancy?
Fancy?
How long did this take place?
If you won Chance Fancy, don't let me down.
That would have been 90 through 94.
That was a while.
Well, not that long.
It was two years, 18 months.
I used to go through them every 18 months.
Reba?
Yeah. Reba was 92 to 94 and a half.
That's where she is now.
She's 92.
What made it end?
You and Reba?
Yeah, it was just time to move on.
I mean, that's not a good example.
Yeah, every guy, it was just time to move on.
Yes, it was. It wasn't working out.
Was the name, do you think the name's Reba?
No, the name isn't Reba.
Did she write here?
She did not.
Did she sing country music?
I don't care.
She did not sing country music.
That's Bobo's Reba.
I would never step on a buddy's date.
Thank you.
Did she talk with a little slang?
She did not.
She was a very intelligent business woman,
except for the part.
Her name's Reba.
I don't know.
What's so?
That's just weird.
Hello, JD.
This is where you would call.
Hey, Reba.
I'm going to call you.
I thought, okay, if I call you out,
you're on the R.
Oh, sure.
R.
I know you really are when you're on the R.
She's the thing with D-Day.
Hey, what about, can I come over to your house tonight?
No.
I'm married, happily married.
Here's your one chance, JD.
Don't let me down.
I'll decide to change my mind.
I'm going to go down.
Oh, you are.
That's good.
All right.
That's lovely.
Okay.
Are you sure?
Good day.
Hey, play Misty for me.
I will play Misty for you.
You won't come.
Have a drink with me.
You won't go away.
Can I say something real quick?
Real quick.
My old friend, the counselor, Alec,
who I worked for the bailouts office down here years ago,
moved back to home to Virginia,
and he is enjoying listening to us on WBIG, Big 100.
Good, good.
Let's just stop the show for this.
Maybe he'd like to hear some Florida news.
He might.
Go ahead.
And now, from North America's online down up,
it's time for Sunshine State News
with your certified lifeguard, JD Wright.
What's a good way to relax?
You're all stressed out.
You've been on the radio and people are making fun of you.
What's a good way to start getting de-stressed?
How about a massage?
Well, this woman decided to make an appointment
for a massage in Palm Beach.
Unfortunately, it wasn't her.
Look at the kind of appointment she thought it was.
It was one of those places,
and she didn't realize it until probably too late,
September 8.
I accidentally had a massage at a brothel.
Brothel.
I went and just had a massage the other week
after the gym my neck was sore.
Well, since then, I've found out that it is a full service.
There were flags, and they were red and waving.
And when it was halfway through, a guy walked in,
and he was like,
oh, no, I'm going to wait for that other person.
And I was like, yeah, whatever.
She's actually giving me a great massage.
But then she didn't change the towel
or the face thing or anything.
When I left, she was just like, out, out, next.
They were probably so confused as to what was there.
It's like, I'm a gristle neck.
A reform neck?
She had a, she had a gristle in her neck.
She's sweating.
Yeah.
It's pretty sure.
Bob, have you ever been to a massage place?
I have not.
Like that?
I have not.
There was one in the old building where we used to be.
There was one right next door.
Really?
Yes.
Yeah, I remember they moved in, right?
Yeah, there was right next door.
We used to walk out there and go, I wonder if that's a, oh, yes, it is.
It was?
More massage.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, it was right behind the building.
Everybody knew.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
More massage.
Hi, James, two men.
I've now come forward.
Did you get a handy?
I did not.
Alleging they were touched inappropriately
by the owner of the massage parlor.
This one's in Orlando, Florida.
Luckily, one of them had the little recorder on.
They recorded this, this from big Earl.
We play handyman by James Taylor.
Got number nine.
I do like your blonde friend here.
Let me see your belly button.
Oh, Eureka.
That's nice.
Stand up, walk to the back and do a slow spin for me.
And then look back at me mean, like a dragon.
Now, wait a second, big girl.
I just showed you my stomach.
Come on, deal's a deal, Earl.
I call big Earl from the Starsky and Hutch, actually.
Yeah, big girl.
This one goes out to all the brothels out there.
I mean, handyman.
James Taylor.
Hey, what about Bob?
Could you do a riff off this as an Asian massage parlor owner?
Hey, ready?
Gathered lounge.
Listen to what I put it on.
Don't you, baby?
Are you handyman?
I'm not the kind who's a rural tool.
I'm all different kind of sexical fool.
I fix broken hearts.
And broken necks.
And correct your neck with tight condo.
That's terrible.
Broken neck, it's blade to stand.
Oh, my God.
This is Bill Belichick's song.
Or the owner of the Patreon.
Oh, man.
But listen to the chorus.
It goes along with the vibe over putting down.
I mean, listen to the chorus at the end,
which makes all the sense for all the massage parlor.
You're learning to me.
Here is the team.
I want to say I'm going to call my suit.
I'm open 24 hours a day.
Emily Day.
For $50.
I fix your body too.
Handyman.
Handyman.
Here we go.
This is their slogan.
Kamra, Kamra, Kamra, Kamra, Kamara.
You Kamara too.
$50 behind the main.
Oh, that's terrible.
We are fired.
All of us.
Hopefully not.
Surely not until at least after this,
because we'll be back.
God help us with more of the John Clay Will Show,
right after this.
All right, y'all know what to do.
Hit us up on johnclaywolf.com.
You can check out old episodes on there.
You know, stay up to date with what we got going on.
Get cool gear.
We got hats, shirts, all that.
Hit us up on Facebook.
You know, search John Clay Wolf Show.
We're on Instagram, John's on Twitter.
You know, you can holler at all of us, okay?
You know how to spell it, okay?
We appreciate y'all listening.
Keep on rocking with us.
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