JCW ARCHIVE: Haunted Halloween Hits!

The John Clay Wolf Show has appeared on Terrestrial Radio for a really, really, really long time.

So we dug into our pockets, and on the other side of our d***, we found something funny.

And yes, it's contagious.

Gather round as the Wolf Pack goes on this throwback adventure.

Boo!

Did I scare you?

Nah, it's your boy, DJ Preakay with the John Clay Wolf Show, getting spooky in the archives,

and we're going to take it back to 2021 when John and the crew were having some Halloween

fun.

Bobo's got a great Halloween jam, and Satan even starts by to tell us how they get

down, down below.

So here's another treat for you, Tricks.

Check it out.

800-800-RADIO.

My name's John Clay Wolf.

Good morning.

Happy Halloween.

Coming up.

Tonight's the real Halloween, in my opinion.

It's a Saturday, baby!

And I'm off work after this.

Party tonight?

Amen.

Yes.

Big party.

Y'all dressin' up.

No, it's just a big party that happens once a year here, so it's a black tie.

I haven't worn a tux in a year.

I haven't worn a tux in two years.

I haven't worn a tux since COVID.

A black tie event for Halloween.

Is it the Eyes Wide Shut type thing?

John's got a different side to him.

No.

The password is Fidelio.

Right?

Love it.

Speaking of Halloween, in Ozzy Osbourne, who's our favorite Halloween character, Bob, you

did some bit.

I haven't heard it yet, but J.D. said it's good.

An Ozzy spin-off Halloween song?

Yeah, I was driving to work, and I heard Iron Man, and you know, I don't have to

tell you, but I can be a weird guy sometimes.

Just the way my mind works, and I thought, you could change that lyric into kind

of a Halloween-y thing and then maybe put some sound effects and things, and this is what

I came up with.

I am Ice Cream Man, evil Ice Cream Man, scaringly for children with my band, bearing in their

ears, evil little kingdom that they fear.

Oh, ring little tights, 88 varieties they don't like, liver, worst, and salve Dean, I sell

flavors that make them scream.

Bobo screams.

I am Ice Cream Man, children run away as fast as they can.

Nobody wants that, everybody wants it.

Coming to a theater near you.

That's pretty weird, ma'am.

You're kind of weird, ma'am.

What's the other one?

Did you do another one?

Yeah, this is from some time ago.

Do you remember Tales from the Crypt on HBO?

No.

Oh, you just love that.

The Crypt Keeper.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, this is something that came up when there was a question about Halloween being two-PC.

How do we ensure we are honest and with it, the dead will rise and zombies will tell you

men from never eating a flesh.

Our quick disclaimer that the violent nature of the zombies is not approved by this station.

Also eating a flesh is highly unsubstantiated and not allowed.

The demons from hell will attack our souls, dragging you to the pits of hell.

Also there will be no attacking or touching of any human by demons in any inappropriate

ways unless consensual verbal communication is first established by that said person or persons.

And you shall be tortured by the never-ending screams of real snakes.

Torturing, waterboarding, and or wet willies are not legally nor condoned acts or practices

for purposes of this holiday.

Please have a safe and happy Halloween.

It's fun.

We had a good time at the office yesterday.

We did the dress-up thing and had the Halloween contest.

If you go to John Clay Wolf Show on Facebook, the John Clay Wolf Show on Facebook, you

can see all that.

And nobody did anything inappropriate.

That was very nice.

Nobody came dressed like a sexy waitress.

It's because we have HR now.

No, we haven't.

Remember before?

Oh, yeah.

It wasn't a problem.

It was no problem at all because we didn't have an HR department.

Correct.

Now it's no now.

No, well.

Now, when we left, one of the judges with me, she said, next year we need to do

them in categories.

Categories?

Yeah, like have contest categories.

And I was like, what categories?

She said, you need the sluttiest for sure.

I totally agree with this.

Well, we can encourage that.

She suggested sluttiest category, scariest category and movie themed

category.

Oh, okay.

That's pretty good.

So if you have a sluttiest category, then it jumps the HR thing because it was

pre-

Oh, okay.

All part of the show.

Step back, nothing to see here.

Jimmy Fallon did some tweets this week speaking of Halloween.

How do you take a regular movie that you just see all year and you

turn it into something scary for Halloween?

So here are his tweets.

Cut number two.

The Hangover.

Oh, I got to.

His first one is the Hangover, the movie.

Yeah.

After a night of drinking poison, three men with amnesia set out to

find out if their friend is still alive.

The Breakfast Club, a high school principal locks five teenagers in

the library until they each have an emotional breakdown.

It's like soft torture.

The Little Mermaid, a kleptomaniac, makes a deal with a sea witch

in exchange for human flesh.

Home Alone, a neglected child takes joy in torturing people who

come to visit him.

Castaway, a former FedEx employee loses it all and starts having

conversations with a volleyball covered in blood.

Star Wars, an old hermit convinces a young farm boy to murder his

father.

There you go.

This is Satan's time of year, isn't it?

Oh, that's really funny stuff.

I love that one.

Yeah.

Good morning, Satan.

Yeah.

It's my time.

Isn't it?

It's your month, isn't it, man?

Yeah.

Well, I mean the whole damn year.

You know, personally, I mean 21.

Oh, it's been all you?

It's all me, baby.

Yeah.

Special thanks to Tom Hanks and early celebrities who got

the COVID and passed it around.

Awesome.

Even without the, even without the COVID, though.

Yeah.

Oh, it's a great, it's just a great time of year.

Beautiful.

It's, I guess it's a little cooler up in your neighborhood

these days.

Cooler, right.

Forward.

We got down to like 420 yesterday afternoon.

Wow.

Which is a great coincidence.

Yeah.

Because we were high.

Oh, so people, there are some still joys in hell.

Yeah.

Like getting high.

Yeah.

Well, my friends and I, we're all adults.

We have jobs, stuff to do, so we can't really do a proper

Halloween party on a Sunday night.

So we did it last night.

Yeah.

And Manson won the costume contest.

Really?

Yes.

Charlie Manson.

Yeah.

This is the costume contest in Hale.

Hale.

I love you Southern guys.

Now Manson won the costume contest and it was, it was

really outstanding.

And he looked and acted and even did a little song

exactly like Marilyn Monroe.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

No.

And then Marilyn dressed as Charlie Manson.

Oh.

And we just had a ball.

We were so high.

So high.

Well, I'm glad to see that you're still enjoying

your own holiday season, Satan.

Sure.

Yeah.

Okay.

Surround, surround.

All right.

Thank you.

What do you want to do?

Good to see you.

Trick or treat.

All right.

Y'all know what to do.

Hit us up on JohnClayWolf.com.

You can check out old episodes on there.

You know, stay up to date with what we got going on.

Get cool gear.

We got hats, shirts, all that.

Hit us up on Facebook.

You know, search JohnClayWolfShow.

We're on Instagram.

John's on Twitter.

You know, you can holler at all of us.

Okay.

You know how to spell it.

Y'all listen.

Keep on rockin' with us.

Cadillac Lyric

About this episode

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