Car
Porsche 911S
The Porsche 911 is a famous sports car that many people recognize. It's known for its unique shape and powerful performance, making it a favorite among car enthusiasts.
Car
BMW M4
The BMW M4 is a sporty version of a BMW coupe that is designed for speed and handling. It's a luxury car that many people enjoy driving because it's both fast and comfortable.
Car
Aston Martin DB6
The Aston Martin DB6 is a classic sports car that was made in the late 1960s. It's known for being stylish and fast, and many car enthusiasts admire it for its design and performance.
Car
Range Rover
The Range Rover is a fancy SUV made by Land Rover. It's known for being able to drive off-road while still being very comfortable and luxurious inside.
Car
Ford Ka
The Ford Ka is a small car that is easy to drive and park, making it great for city use. It was first made in the late 1990s and is known for being budget-friendly.
Car
Renault ZOE
The Renault ZOE is a small electric car that's great for city driving. It's known for being affordable and easy to use, making it a good choice for people who want to drive without using gas.
Car
Ferrari 250 GTO
The Ferrari 250 GTO is a famous sports car made by Ferrari in the early 1960s. It's known for being very fast and is now worth a lot of money, often seen as a prized possession for collectors.
Car
Pontiac GTO
The Pontiac GTO is a classic car known for being very powerful and fast. It was one of the first muscle cars, which means it was designed for performance and fun driving.
Car
Mercedes W123 280
The Mercedes W123 is a type of car made by Mercedes-Benz between 1976 and 1985. The 280 model has a 2.8-liter engine and is known for being very reliable and well-built.
Car
Land Rover Range Rover
The Land Rover Range Rover is a fancy SUV that can handle tough terrains while keeping you comfortable inside. It's famous for being both a rugged vehicle and a luxury ride, which is why people love to talk about it.
Part
air suspension
Air suspension is a system that uses air instead of metal springs to support the car. It can make the ride smoother and allows you to change how high or low the car sits.
Concept
restomod
A restomod is a classic car that has been updated with new parts and technology, so it looks old but drives like a new car. It's a way to enjoy the style of the past with modern performance.
Car
Subaru WRX
The WRX is a fast version of a Subaru car that's great for driving on different types of roads. It's known for being fun to drive and has a history in racing.
Car
Shelby Cobra
Car
Ac Cobra
The AC Cobra MkIII is a famous sports car that is very fast and light. It's known for its classic look and has a strong racing history, making it a favorite among car lovers.
Car
Citroën Xantia Activa
The Citroën Xantia Activa is a special version of the Xantia that features a unique suspension system, allowing it to handle corners very well. It's a fun car that surprises many people with its performance.
Term
flat-six engine
A flat-six engine is a special type of engine where six cylinders are laid out flat instead of standing up. This design makes cars handle better and feel more stable when driving.
Car
Honda Goldwing
The Honda Goldwing is a popular motorcycle designed for long-distance travel. It has a special engine shape called a flat-six, which helps it run smoothly and powerfully.
Term
Porsche flat-six
The Porsche flat-six is a type of engine used in many Porsche cars. It's known for being powerful and making a unique sound, which many car enthusiasts love.
Term
gearbox
A gearbox is a part of a vehicle that helps it change speeds. It connects the engine to the wheels and makes it easier to drive at different speeds.
Term
reverse gear
A reverse gear is what lets a car go backward. It's important for parking and turning around in small spaces.
Car
Chevrolet C5
The Chevrolet Corvette is a fast and stylish sports car that many people admire. It's been around for a long time and is known for being powerful and fun to drive.
Car
Honda Prelude
The Honda Prelude is a two-door car that was fun to drive and looked sporty. It was popular for many years because it combined style with good performance.
Car
Renault Clio
The Renault Clio is a small car that's often used for city driving and can be found as a taxi in some places. It's known for being easy to drive and fuel-efficient.
Car
Toyota Prius
The Toyota Prius is a car that uses both gas and electricity to run, making it very good for the environment. It's well-known for saving fuel and is often seen as a smart choice for people who want to be eco-friendly.
Car
Hyundai Ioniq
The Hyundai Ioniq is a car that can run on electricity or gasoline, similar to the Prius. It comes in different versions, including one that is fully electric, which means it doesn't use any gasoline at all.
Car
Skoda Octavia
The Skoda Octavia is a compact car that is known for being practical and affordable. It's a good choice for families because it has a lot of space inside.
Car
Vauxhall Zafira
The Vauxhall Zafira is a type of family car that can fit more people, making it useful for larger families or groups. It's known for being affordable and practical.
Car
Opel Zafira
The Opel Zafira is a family car that can fit a lot of people and stuff inside. It's designed to be practical and is great for those who need extra space for kids or cargo.
Car
Ford Sierra
The Ford Sierra is a car that Ford made in the 1980s and early 1990s. It was popular in Europe and often used as a family car or taxi.
Car
Vauxhall Corsa
The Vauxhall Corsa is a small car that's great for driving in cities. It's easy to park and good on fuel, making it a popular choice for many drivers.
Car
Suzuki Jimny
The Suzuki Jimny is a small SUV that can handle rough terrain and is popular for both city driving and off-roading.
Car
Toyota Chr
The Toyota C-HR is a small SUV that looks stylish and is easy to drive around the city. It's a good option for people who want a bit more space without going for a larger vehicle.
Car
Rover 214
The Rover 214 is a small car made by the Rover company, popular in the UK. It's known for being practical and affordable.
Car
Ford Capri
The Ford Capri is a sporty car that was made by Ford in Europe. It was popular in the 1970s and 1980s for its stylish design and affordability.
LIVE
Hi, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad.
You ever stand in front of your closet and just say,
I have nothing to wear while you're literally surrounded by clothes?
Because same.
So I started listing pieces I'm over on Depop.
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and someone out there will love it.
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which feels very chic.
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I listed something while watching TV,
and it sold before the episode even ended.
So download the Depop app and list your first item today,
because your old outfit could be someone else's new favorite.
Depop, where taste recognizes taste.
Payment processing fees, boosting fees still apply.
For more info, visit depop.com.
Hi, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad.
You ever stand in front of your closet and just say,
I have nothing to wear while you're literally surrounded
by clothes?
Because same.
So I started listing pieces I'm over on Depop.
And honestly, it's been amazing.
You can sell what you're done with,
and someone out there will love it.
And the best part about it is there's no seller fee.
So the money you make actually stays in your pocket,
which feels very chic.
It's also insanely easy.
I listed something while watching TV,
and it sold before the episode even ended.
So download the Depop app and list your first item today,
because your old outfit could be someone else's
new favorite.
Depop, where taste recognizes taste.
Payment processing fees, boosting fees still apply.
For more info, visit depop.com.
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I'm Richard Porter.
I'm Johnny Smith.
And this is on the other side of things
in which we answer questions from a live audience.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hi, guys.
Hi.
So, um...
Listen, look.
Well, hey, here's the situation.
Yeah.
Who has got a question for us?
Oh, wow.
Immediately, straight at the front there.
Anne Hand went up in the front row,
and I like the front row because it's close.
You, sir.
Right, so you guys are on about, you know, like, stupid stories from...
No, not us.
Next question, Sock and Bollocks.
So, you guys are on about, like, silly stories,
you know, like, that house party's gone wrong.
But, like, my question is, have you guys got any stories
about, like, really stupid stuff that happened,
like, in your first cars?
Like, stuff that was, like, memorable?
Well, yeah.
Bear in mind, Johnny still has his first car.
So, that's a whole, what, how many years?
Next year, 30 years.
30, yeah.
So, that's a whole spectrum of stupidity.
Sad, really.
But, you know, weird stuff that's happened.
Well, just funny things all over the place.
Yeah, funny things or stupid things,
or you got trapped in a fairground.
Mary go round in one, as per previous chat.
Well, I remember driving it to an illegal rave once,
and with a couple of my friends.
Was there someone using a circular saw?
Or was that just happening?
No, there was, someone was serving mulled cider,
but they didn't want money for it.
I remember that much, which was brilliant,
but frustrating as the designated driver.
And then, we found the sort of rave tent thing
in the woods, and everyone else was, you know,
enjoying themselves and may have been under the influence,
but I was the designated driver.
And I got weird, a little bit weirded out,
because in the middle of all this raving,
there was a woman with a baby,
and it felt like a fever dream.
So, I went and sat in the car,
and I must have fallen asleep,
because I woke up, and the car was in like a verge,
in the middle of nowhere, on the Exmoor Hills.
And I woke up with like, do you drippin' off my nose,
because it was that cold in the car?
And I couldn't find my friends,
and we didn't have mobile phones.
So, I just started the engine and drove home.
Oh! Yeah.
Yeah, about five in the morning, it wasn't dawn.
But I just drove home and went to bed,
in Mum and Dad's house, because obviously I still lived at home.
Of course, the beauty of it being those days was,
you didn't even have to turn your phone off,
they couldn't phone you.
No, what did they do?
They got a lift home with the new age traveller.
Yeah, who made them breakfast?
Because they had a wood-burning stove in their old,
like, ex-telecom, Mercedes, whatever it was.
Yeah, they said it was actually pretty cool.
Wow. Yeah, no one got murdered or anything, so it was fine.
I was going to say, I thought you were about to say
that all of your friends just perished.
No, nobody perished.
The news man's style.
Everybody perished, but we all had a good laugh about it.
No, no, good.
But in that same car, I was driving over to my mate's house,
so we used to have lots of house parties,
because he had an outdoor swimming pool,
which was always amazing,
apart from if you got a strip naked in front of girls,
which might have happened once.
And then I was driving in the people,
going on one of those big, long hills,
and it was pitch dark, no overhead lights,
and everything cut out on the car.
No lights or anything.
There was a major part of the wiring
that had come loose under the back seat.
And you know, when you have to memorize the situation,
you can do it when you go home tonight.
Walk into your living room, stare for five seconds,
and then hit the lights,
and then you have to work out where everything was.
Everything.
That never worked out. But you have to start running.
The mind plays tricks on you, though.
Amazing. Because I was doing 50 miles an hour
in an old car, and then nothing, just nothing.
But there's a big difference between
banging your shin on a coffee table that you forgot was there,
and mounting the central reservation,
and stuffing your beetles with the front of a happy eater.
I know.
Great information. Which I'm assuming didn't happen.
No, unscathed.
Shit. Yeah.
I might as well just memorize the meanderings and...
Memorize the meanderings. Memorize the meanderings.
I memorized it.
I know this road like that, back of my hand.
Yeah, honestly, I got away with that.
I was reading some of your say about the band Bross.
Do you remember Bross from the eighties,
and they were originally a three-piece,
and then there was the vizies to call him Ken.
Ken from Bross left.
And it was just the twins, Matt and Luke.
Craig, not Ken.
Craig. Yeah. Sorry.
Not that I remember.
And there was a story about how,
when they got their first sort of big payout
for their pop success,
Matt and Luke went and bought identical Porsche 911s.
And they were driving down the motorway
with their girlfriends of the time.
And whichever one was following, let's say it was Matt,
went right up behind Luke and was like touching,
bumper to bumper, a hundred miles an hour,
on, let's say, the M4.
And his girlfriend in the passenger seats,
go, what are you doing? You're crazy.
Stop it. And he went, don't worry.
Me and my brother were twins.
We have a telepathic connection.
He knows exactly what I'm doing.
Then they pulled in and Luke leapt out of the leading car
and went, what the fuck were you doing there?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I realize I've just told someone else's story
and not any story about mine.
I don't have any good stories about my first car.
I had a Ford car as my first car.
I don't, I mean, I drove it like a knob,
but I don't, there's nothing particularly funny about that.
And in retrospect, I slightly shudder at, you know,
how I could have probably had accidents.
Oh yeah, totally.
But, you know, that's being youthful and stupid.
Yeah, I haven't got loads of stories.
But has anyone, by the way,
has anyone bought a different kind of noise
that they could, because we've got,
we've got circular saw down there.
We've got some kind of grinder there.
Now we've got someone dropping metal things.
I've got a lifetime collection of ring spanners
that I'm going to drop off a balanced... Oh, lovely.
So if anyone wants to come and listen,
it's great. It's like industrial snowfall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm really...
But I'm going to do them one at a time rather than the whole box.
Does anyone over this side have a question?
Oh, go front row again.
Sorry, we will move further back, but front row is easy.
Back in the 80s, my dad bought himself a DB6
for about 1,500 quid. Bloody hell.
And... It was a different time.
Yeah, exactly.
And you run it on a shoestring for about three or four years.
Sold it for four grand, thought he was the business.
Just before about 18 months later they was like 40, 50 grand,
and now everybody knows how much they are.
What cards have you sold just at the wrong time?
Oh, my gosh.
Supercharged range over.
Kill him.
Um, yeah, yeah, Rich, you know, I don't think of, I mean, you know, you know, I mean, quite
honestly, my first car was a very early Ford Ka, and if I just immediately put it into
a Ziploc bag and sucked all of the moisture out of it, yeah, it would now be the only
Ford Ka in the world that isn't a massive pile of all-bram. Yeah. It might be worth
upwards of, I don't know, four and a half grand. Yeah. So I can't remember what I sold
that car for. I sold it, I was, I just abandoned it a bit. I wasn't quite
algal, but it was definitely very dusty and underground car park. And the tires
had gone a bit flat. Really? Yeah, because I didn't really need it, but I was
too lazy to sell it. And then I sold it to a mate's girlfriend because she
just needed the car. But, but my mate, as he, because he was into cars, he went,
I'll just take the keys off you and I'm going to clean it up this weekend before
she gets it. And then he was so pleased with what he'd done. He drove, he drove
into work on the Monday morning. We worked together and I saw it in the
car park when I arrived at work and it looked amazing. And I realized I'd
sold it for far too little money, basically because I was too idle to
clean it. And I was really cross with him. I went to the office. Was it famous in
New Car when you got it? No, it was six months old. It had been a
courtesy car for a dealership. I'm trying to think. I mean, there's been a few
cars. I tend to not sell cars unless they make money or break even. And I
pride myself on seemingly having an okay barometer at that. But I have
definitely sold a couple of cars too early. 100%. And the, the, the, the
bubble car I sold to Michael Barrymore, I probably sold that too cheap. But you
know, but in a way, the story out of it, he's gone away lightly. He still
hasn't replied to me on Instagram. I would, I'd really like to formally
apologize to him for selling his story to the son. I needed to make ends
meet. My favorite story of, you know, letting something go way too cheap is
by proxy. It's not my story, but it's someone I used to work with. Her dad
had a Ferrari in the early seventies, early seventies, and it wasn't worth
an awful lot. But it was, well, it was worth enough that he realized if
he sold it, he could put my friend, Zoe, who was then a, I guess, sort of, you
know, 10 or something into private school. And so he decided to do that by
selling the Ferrari. And I think he got something like 10 or 12 grand for
it in 1977, which at the time he thought that's a fair price. And it
was enough for school fees for a few years. But the Ferrari was a 250 GTO.
It's in fact, he sold it to Nick Mason. Shitting hell. It's that 250 GTO,
the one that, you know, has been driven a lot in magazines and things
like that, and is now worth squifty billion, yeah, bajolars. Yeah. But
yeah, he let it go for, you know, and at the time that was because I
can't remember exactly the year, but say it was 1977. It was something
like 12 grand. Now my parents bought a house, like a nice detached house
for I think like 25 grand in 1977. And at the time, they were really
stretching themselves. So it was a different time. It was a different
time. But it was also a 250 GTO. And if he just sat on it for a
little bit longer, he could have probably put everyone in this room
through private. Whether they wanted to or not. Bloody hell. I know.
Now, like a lot of people, I attempt to stave off the spectre of
aging by running and doing other bits of exercise. Do you know what's
really important when you're exercising? Shorts. Hydration. That
would have been my second guess. But I don't just want boring
water. So I've really got into drinks containing electrolytes and
minerals and all that good stuff. Which is why I was very excited
when Holy sent me one of their starter packs, which includes
some of their hydration drink powders, particularly like a little
sachet. So you know, you've got the right quantity. And they
send you a shaker too. So when you whack the powder and water
in there, you give it a shake and you're ready to go. And
these drinks come in a whole range of delightful flavors. I've
already got my favorite sounds brilliant. It is. Allow me to
sum up my thoughts in a song. Do you have to?
You didn't mention that the Holy starter pack also contains
milkshakes, iced teas and energy drinks, all that listeners
can get £5 off their first order if it's over £14.99 with code
SSG5 or 10% off any order with code SSG. Those will have to be
songs for another time. Well, isn't that a relief?
Anyway, has anyone else got a question? And Johnny, you're
going to go out with the book now because my knees hurt from
driving a Defender all the way here. Oh, there's hammering
now. We've got hammering. That's good. A new noise has joined
the mix.
Hi. I have a Mercedes W123 280 track car. Oh, because it's the
obvious track car for track days. It's not the quickest, not the
best handling. You're not meant to time on a track day. But
when you get out of it, you've got the biggest grin on your
face imaginable. What left field car would you have as a
track car? A Legro's excluded.
That's a good question. I think I've seen video of your car on a
track day, possibly, unless someone else has got one. And it
looked brilliant.
Did we talk, we might have talked about this on a previous
podcast, there's some people, I think they're JLR engineers
who've made a track car out of a 322 Range Rover. And
because they could hack its brain, they could get the air
suspension to sort of stay permanently in access mode. So it
looks dropped, which obviously reduces the roll center a
little bit. So that obviously is quite appealing, but someone's
done it. Yeah, I don't know. What would you do? I mean, I used
to have a list on my laptop of all the things I would do. Day
cars, V30 docked dock, silly restomads that no one in their
right mind would do. I had a few of those. Rancho, interesting
come this Monday. Oh, I am going to see my my Rancho WRX, which
the body has just kissed the chassis of the Scoobleroo. Has
that? Yeah. That's exciting. So we know that things are going
to fit. So it's a pretty good milestone. So I mean, that'll
be quite good for a little bit of lightweight track work with
the family. I've always wanted I thought, rather than circuit
racing, I'd like to do something like off road, like an AC Cobra
done as a off road car, like a four wheel drive. Yeah, rally car.
Yeah, stuff rally grass or that will be really cool. Yeah. Yeah.
I quite like just a Zantia Activa, just to mess with people's
heads. Have you got one? You've done that. You've tracked a Zantia
Activa. Wow, of all the cars. Oh, damn it. It was very upsetting
when you've had to because you were in a normal Zantia and you
were like, damn this role. I tell you what I'd like. I've just
thought of it. I'd like a message Schmidt bubble car with a
Honda Goldwing flat six. Because I've fantasized about putting a
Honda Goldwing engine in a car now for four years. Because it's
like smaller than that table. And it's the most beautiful,
balanced, compact little flat six. It's a delightful and
absolutely delightful. And a fraction of the price of a Porsche
flat six or any other flat six. Really, what could you buy
a Goldwing flat six for? We can buy a Goldwing that someone's
like fallen over on all of them. Yeah. I mean, I've seen them on
copart for 1800 quid. Really? Yeah, and the handlebars are all
wanked. As long as it runs, I don't give a fly because I'm not
getting on it. I've never seen copart put the description as
handlebars all wanked. Well, the bottom line is I'm just
wanting it for the engine and the gearbox. And I think it'd
be amazing. And of course, it's got reverse gear on them.
So making your mission for 2026 is just buy every copart
Honda Goldwing with quote unquote.
Well, in my noise bingo car, they did not have elephants. But I
think that's what that was. Oh, yeah, there's a there's a
very sort of pre war strongman competition going on. You
know, when they get an elephant to put one leg up and
a very long mustache and sort of like leprent pants. And then
yeah, yeah, she's heading the mouth of tiger. Yes, all of that
stuff. Yeah, we're making our show sound rubbish. Yeah, God, you
could be watching that show's mega. Yeah, it's good. Obviously
everyone down there's got consumption as well because
it's a Victorian show. But that's fine. I can't think why
also we do in that in that vein because because that's a
message. What Honda Goldwing motor go nice in that Sinclair
C5 right next to it. I thought you were going to say the
Armstrong Sidler. Armstrong Sidler. Yeah. Have you met
Armstrong Sidler? I went to school. He's something very big
at the home office. Yes. Yes. We don't want to ask you
questions. Look at that. It's on the aisle as well, Johnny.
You've lucked in on the aisle on the aisle. Are you
still friends with the prelude guy? And does he know
he's expecting royalties? Prelude guys. Is he getting
royalties? No. We're building up a roster of people that we
imagine the future will sue us. I I've tried to find him on
LinkedIn just to see if he's alive. And and also I have
started to get worried as the unexpected success of that
impression and possible merchandise and everything
else. So I don't know. I don't know him anymore. But one of
my friends from university who lived in the same house as us
has messaged me and gone. Have you spoken to him? And I went
no, no, I don't even know if the guy's still got a beating
heart. So I love the way that every time we discuss this
you're you are not 100% that he's still alive. No, just
because of the lifestyle that he was he was on an interesting
trajectory. Should we say very interest people pull things
back, don't they? Yes, they do pull things back. Someone I used
to know who's right. I can still know he's he was an absolute
caner and now has a really responsible job. And you just
go it happens. Yeah, believe as long as you suddenly have a
massive, a massive acid flashback in the middle of
briefing. I hope he's alive. It'd be nice to connect
with him possibly depending on whether or not he hands me
some sort of legal writ. Yeah, yeah, it was a funny it was a
funny team really leans into it. And he can be like our
support act when we can be an emcee at these shows. Yeah, he
just does the thing. Talks about preludes for about 20
minutes. And then some really sick. Yeah, Nikki Finn. Donovan
bad boy Smith or something like that future maybe I don't
know. So it's on you now to try to establish
contact. Well, yeah, I don't know. But I'm going to try and
find out the the LinkedIn paper trail continues. I don't like
links. I'm a bit scared of it. It's the most needy of all
that it's like business social media, isn't it? But it's
a needy. I stopped being on it because I think they send you
like 100 emails a day. Yeah. And if you check all the box
and go don't send me any emails, they send you
another 100 emails going sure you don't want any more
emails. And I was just lost the will to live. It's like
boring business Facebook. Yeah, it's also because it's full of
people just going had a really magical day today just the
power of teamwork. I've clinched some business today. Shut up
and go and have a wank in a hotel. Yeah. No, no, that's I
imagine what business people do. I don't know. That's on my CV
on LinkedIn. That's one of the did do that in 2004. Yes.
Um, is there is anybody? Oh, you got stronger. I'll do that.
I'm going to go over here. These are my people. Yeah, that's
right. We're picking sides now. I have a bit of a theory and a
question that goes over. I think all the toaster events I
and Scotard Octavius that used to use as mini caps have all
worn out and they're all gone. And now using anything as a
mini cab, I've seen a Renault Zoe use as a mini cab. I've
seen this and you use as a mini cab. Oh, my God. And only this
morning, I saw a Toyota. No, sorry, not Toyota. It was a Renault
Clio being used at a mini cab. No, all in Chesterfield in
Derbyshire, right here in Derbyshire. Wow. What is the
most inappropriate mini cab you've ever seen? Well, I mean,
well, because first of all, your theory is fascinating
because what you're saying and I think you might be right
is that there's no consensus on the mini cab du jour. And I
think you might be right. Like I think maybe in London, it is
still it's it's Prius town, but outside or the wind knife. Yes,
it's sort of got a slight claw hold in the market. But as I
discovered to my cost, there was a period when I was getting
a lot of mini cabs for some reason, and they were all
priuses. Pry eye eye. And I was so used to getting into a
Prius that one day a hyonic hyonic high and I ionic ionic
this is called ionic wasn't it? Yeah, when turned up, it sort of
looks like a prius and I was tired and it was dark and I went
to get in the door frame is slightly lower and I smacked my
head on the on the outside of the car in a really
undignified way. And that's a bit like, oh, black mark for
high and die there. Yeah. So but but I don't you're
right. So I think sort of outside of major cities. Perhaps
there isn't a mini cab consensus anymore. So what's happened to
the Octavia? Why has that lost the world? What what's happened
to the mini cab office? There was always a sweaty little
smoky office. Yeah, they look very drab, very drab. Yeah, also
incredibly over lit with fluorescent tubes, which in a
way enhanced the drabness. Yes, because it showed every
bleak office chair with stuffing bursting out of
exactly that cushion bit there where your leg goes. Yeah. And
a man, an unshaven man possibly with slick back hair smoking
furiously. Yeah, indoor smoking. Yeah. And on a radio and
getting very angry with an unseen driver, someone else who
couldn't get his shit together. Yeah. And possibly for
extra points, suddenly turning round and unexpectedly
shouting in a language you couldn't quite place somebody
else. And that's all gone now. Yeah, it has. Bloody apps. Yeah,
the simple pleasure of an extremely smoky porta cabin with
an angry slick back hair, man. I don't know if this mini
Zafira is kicking about because obviously they're a cheap
seven seat. I think they've lost it because too many of
those were diesels when they were new. Yes. And that's
no good anymore. Yeah. Well, when I first moved to the town I
live in, in 2003, there was a guy with no teeth was one of the
mini cab drivers who used to park at the taxi break and he had
a Sierra in 2003 as a taxi. And I probably said this on a
really early podcast, I used to when I used to go out on
the town, I would make it. I would wait an extra half hour
for him to go and drop someone else off and come back
and I would go to Sierra man and he was known as Sierra man. It
was weird. Did you ever get a chance to clock the mileage? I
never did. But it was it was like that blue, you know, like a
blue, it was non metallic blue like pigeon. Oh, I know it.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Was it a diesel? Yeah. God, that was like
a canal boat. That's terrible. Ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And he
smoked licorice rollies. Oh, with the window cracked a
little. Yeah. Well, it's not it isn't an inappropriate mini cab,
but it turns out there was a reason which is years and years
ago in London pre Uber, when you used to just come out of a
club, puber, puber, puber, puber, puber. You'd stumble out
of a club and you'd just there just be people standing
around on street corners and some of them would be mini cab
drivers and some of them will be selling you hooky DVDs. And
you pretty much just had to sort of try and distinguish
between the two. Sometimes they'd double up. Yeah. And you'd
get home and you'd go or you wake up in the morning and
you'd be like, why have I got a receipt for 50 pounds when
we were only about two miles away and also a obviously
photocopied cover version of, I don't know, Dunstan
checks in that movie about a monkey that lives in a hotel. I
don't want that. Or die hard, but you realize that there's two
hours in hardest. And I came out of a club with some friends
and we we found a mini cab guy. But they did that thing also
because the car's not parked outside. So then you have to
follow them through the streets. The pied piper of
getting you home. Yeah. And he walked around the corner
and there's a line of cars and none of them particularly
look like mini caps. But one of them was a pretty much brand
new Vauxhall Corsa three door. What? And I remember turning
to my mate, Roland, going, please be the Corsa, please be
the Corsa. At the point that he flipped the locks and the
Corsa hazards went and we were like, what the and we
crammed there were four of us into the three door Corsa.
I called shotgun because I'm the tallest stems the
rules. My three friends got in the back. Because I was in the
front, I could shut the driver and I went, it's quite unusual
for a mini cab, mate. And he went, yes, courtesy car.
I don't I didn't get on to asking him what his normal
cab was, but I assume is a fear or something like that.
This was a long time ago. Yeah. But clearly it was
in for service. Imagine his face or maybe he wasn't
because he's a resourceful guy. He's just a stoic guy.
They are in there's your courtesy car. Because he's
already said, I need a courtesy car, not telling them why.
They go, there it is. And he looked at it. It's a three door
Corsa. He'd gone, all right, I can work with this. Yeah. And by
God, he did. And he took us home. He sold me a copy of
lethal attraction where it turned out attraction was
misspelled.
I think it was by a hooky time code. Sorry, a hooky DVD
where they had the burnt in time code that you normally
only get from sort of internal copies of movies. So you knew
immediately it was stolen and iffy, but three door Corsa is my
favorite miscast mini cab. I'm sure you guys have seen some
appalling mini Cubs.
Suzuki Jimny. There's a mini cab. What? In this country. That's
it. Oh my God. That's a terrible. That's a bumpy ride
home. Yeah, but you're right. To finish this up, you're
right. I think there's a there's a rash of sort of
small crossover type cast because I got I got in a CHR the
other week. And
there's nothing wrong with the CHR. They're quite good, but
it's like, there's not enough leg room in the back. It's
just, yeah, no good. Not a mini cab. No, bring back the
uptake.
Hi, it's Paige Disorbo from Giggly Squad. You ever stand
in front of your closet and just say, I have nothing to
wear while you're literally surrounded by clothes, because
same. So I started listing pieces I'm over on D pop. And
honestly, it's been amazing. You can sell what you're done
with and someone out there will love it. And the best part
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also insanely easy. I listed something while watching TV and
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D pop app and list your first item today, because your old
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boosting fees still apply for more info visit D pop.com. Hi,
it's Paige Disorbo from Giggly Squad. You ever stand in front
of your closet and just say I have nothing to wear while
you're literally surrounded by clothes, because same. So I
started listing pieces I'm over on D pop. And honestly,
it's been amazing. You can sell what you're done with
and someone out there will love it. And the best part
about it is there's no seller fee. So the money you
make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very
chic. It's also insanely easy. I listed something while
watching TV and it's sold before the episode even ended. So
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I'm going to move towards the back of the room on this
side. Does anyone over here have a question? I saw an arm
go up over there. Hello. Bit of a preamble. So we take our
dogs into Sherwood Forest, which is basically in
Nottinghamshire. Yes. We pass through the village of
Anasley, where there is a chap I assume, who has not one
not two, but somewhere between four or six or
sometimes eight, Rover 214s, K L reg, all are either
green or red. We are someone over here just
gone. I saw that. Yeah, we assume someone over there. This
is a local landmark. Yeah, we assume because he has a
driveway with them all parked up along with his chainsie. But
he also has one of on the opposite side of the road,
which we assumed was the runner and the rest were all
spares donors, except we've done cheeky drive by VVLA
checks. And at least three of them have been taxed and
insured. It's a great project. Yeah, it seems to
be. So my question is, what's the weirdest, most niche
mark, mark, make and model someone's hoarded that
you've seen? Whoa. Oh, I mean, what's a benches? Talk to
me off. Are you muttering? Well, I was at the back
of the roof. Feel like a teacher. Yeah, because I'm
nearly on standing up and I'm sort of walking
a little adventure chat. Yeah, see me afterwards. I've
brought the Bible with me. So I don't I can't I have
follow up questions. I might need to see you afterwards
about this one. But in the meantime, yeah, can you
think of sort of like the weirdest hoarding of cars
that you've ever seen? There's there's one near
Birmingham where that person and it's a really
expensive, executive looking house. But all of the
front garden area is ruined, because there's about
26 Rover 75s on the front garden. I can't believe you
found my second home. Yes, holiday home rich. Yeah,
scuppered. But yeah, there's loads of them. Loads
and loads and loads of them. Yeah, after we were
filming and we accidentally stumbled across it,
because it's quite an interesting road, the
back road past it. I was like, what the hell?
And the postcode and addresses. I will. I did take a
photo so I could look at the because you told me
about one of those ones before, but you said you
drove past it and I think it was in Birmingham. And
then you couldn't remember where it was when I
spent ages on Google Maps trying to trace it. And
I can't whether I was a car. It's how you go
to our style. It might have been. Yeah, Algal.
It was really out. Yeah. Yeah, I still can't
remember where that was. It's two one of two
roads and I've tried to your clues were it
was like being on treasure hunt. Yeah, without the
helicopter because I had Google Maps instead.
But I did spend probably slightly too long
going. No, I'll track this down. I like the
challenge, but no. You've got near you in the
West Country. You've got Maestro Guy, haven't
you? Yes. Old Maestro Guy. He's and I've
only ever seen pictures of that. Yeah. But I
sort of think I know where it is. Yeah.
And it's not that far from me. And I always
think when I'm going through that place that
I should just take a detour. Yeah. To have
a little shifty near where I used to live.
We had recon exchange Capri Guy. So he had he
had a three mark one Capris on on rotation.
So only one was ever on the road and one was
having full restoration and there would
just be this weird crop rotation that
just used to swing round over time and it
was either the yellow one or the red one
or the blue one. But he always had just
Capris. I've just received a secret signal
that we're almost out of time but we
can do one more question and I'm going
to just sort of oh there's a front row
question and that makes it easy for
everybody. This is a really quick one
because this is a safe space. Yeah. People
of like minds. Just wondering Johnny,
what gig do you go to last month?
Oh! That you were too embarrassed to say.
Do you know? No. Oh. I know.
And I'm sworn to silence. It's only us here.
I was debating. I was debating you know
whether to bring this up because I thought
you know what it was actually a really
really good gig. I had a lot a lot of fun.
There was obviously there was an irony to it.
Simply read. Did everyone get that?
Like Hucknell was on fire. Simply on fire.
He was he was messaging me afterwards.
Yeah that's telling me how tight the band were.
Yes it's true. Honestly. In a musical sense for fuck's sake.
Do you piss off? It started off as a bit of a
joke between me and my lady.
Should we go to a simply read concert?
And then I thought well he's probably is
they're not touring I doubt and then I
looked up and that that they'd put their
tour dates for the next year which was
this year and I went fuck I'm just gonna
I'm just gonna book two tickets and I
booked you they're actually really
expensive as well. I was like they better
be good. This is an expensive joke.
And um it was this it's a 40th
anniversary tour this year.
Yes. And uh it was really really I had
a whale of a time. My highlight was
seeing a lady who'd made her own
sequined full length jacket and across
the back it said a new flame has come.
And I'm not sure she thought that through
no or she did but she was walking
around with it um with a a gallon can
of of white wine.
She was having the time of her life.
So yeah that's my I mean come on
someone must have a guilty pleasure
music concert that they've been to.
Earlier on in the year I bought tickets
from me and Mum to go see Boney M.
Boney M in a concert? Boney M.
But really? Litchfield the cathedral.
He's going to see Boney M. The man from
Boney M generally rates around that's
so so religious.
They were amazing.
Okay well fair enough.
Boney M in a cathedral.
Don't say it can be that I mean
Boney in a cathedral sounds like some of
you'd get thrown out for but
it's good to know. It's reminded me though
and this is a safe space as you
point out. I messaged Rich this week
and said Marilena playing next year.
I'd afforded you the tour dates
and one of them I think is in Bath.
Is it? I didn't look at the dates
because I was too busy messaging you
about going should we offer ourselves
as their support act?
I'm going to say it now we're going
to go and see Marilena.
But we only like one of this
I know two of their songs.
Two? Yeah.
And what if they don't do?
Well they're bound to do Kaylee.
Well come on.
But what if they don't do Charlton's ends?
They will. I'll make some.
Do you think?
Yeah.
You'll make some.
We'll write to them first.
We know people.
Well we know that Steve the
guitarist is a Lexus enthusiast.
Exactly.
We could probably
I don't know.
Talk to him about Lexus.
We'll go and see Marilena.
We've got we're going to go and do it.
All right.
I feel like it'll be closure on the
it might just close it all out
and then we can move on with our lives.
Exactly.
All right well speaking of Rich
that's probably enough from us
but thank you ever so much for coming
down. Thank you for all your excellent
questions and we'll see.
So going so well and I fucked it up at the end.
Ah damn it.
Well what do you want to say but
so thank you all of you for coming
tonight for bothering to buy a ticket
and turn up and it means an awful lot to
us and thanks so much to Great
Northern Classics for hosting us in
this sweet sweet environment.
Yes.
And thanks to the cub or cut out of
David Hasselhoff for looking over us.
With his safety jacket on.
Oh guardian angel.
Yes absolutely.
All right.
Well so thank you.
Thank you very much.
And on that note.
Goodbye.
Bye please.
And remember you can get 10% off your
Holy Starter Pack or any of their
excellent drinks by using the code
SSG or get five pounds off your
first order over 14.99
using the code SSG5
thank you.
Hi it's Paige Disorbo from Giggly Squad.
You ever stand in front of your closet
and just say I have nothing to wear
while you're literally surrounded by
clothes because same.
So I started listing pieces I'm over
on Depop and honestly it's been
amazing.
You can sell what you're done with
and someone out there will love it
and the best part about it is there's
no seller fee so the money you make
actually stays in your pocket which
feels very chic.
It's also insanely easy.
I listed something while watching
TV and it sold before the episode
even ended.
So download the Depop app and list
your first item today
because your old outfit could be
someone else's new favorite.
Depop where taste recognizes taste.
Payment processing fees boosting
fees still apply.
For more info visit depop.com
Hi it's Paige Disorbo from Giggly
Squad.
You ever stand in front of your
closet and just say I have
nothing to wear while you're
literally surrounded by clothes?
Because same.
So I started listing pieces I'm
over on Depop
and honestly it's been amazing.
You can sell what you're done with
and someone out there will love it
and the best part about it is
there's no seller fee
so the money you make
actually stays in your pocket
which feels very chic.
It's also insanely easy.
I listed something while watching
TV and it sold before the
episode even ended.
So download the Depop app and
list your first item today
because your old outfit could be
someone else's new favorite.
Depop where taste recognizes taste.
Payment processing fees boosting
fees still apply.
For more info visit depop.com
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About this episode
Richard Porter and Johnny Smith engage with a live audience, sharing humorous and nostalgic stories about their first cars and the misadventures that came with them. They discuss everything from illegal raves to the quirks of mini cabs, reflecting on the absurdities of youth and car ownership. The episode is filled with laughter as they recount tales of forgotten cars, missed opportunities, and the strange vehicles that have become part of their lives. The conversation also touches on the evolution of car culture and the oddities of modern transportation.
Ac Cobra MkIII
Aston Martin DB6
BMW M4
Chevrolet Corvette
Citroen Xantia Activa
Ferrari 250 GTO
Ford Capri
Ford Ka
Ford Sierra 3 Doors
Honda Prelude
Hyundai Ioniq
Land Rover Range Rover
Mercedes-Benz E-Class
Opel Zafira
Pontiac GTO
Porsche 911
Renault Clio - 5 doors
Renault ZOE
Shelby Cobra
Skoda Octavia
Subaru WRX
Suzuki Jimny
Toyota C-HR
Toyota Prius
Vauxhall Corsa 5 doors
Vauxhall Zafira
Original notes
In front of an audience at Great Northern Classics in Derby, Jonny and Richard answer questions about stupid things you did in your first car, selling cars too cheaply, inappropriate track day cars, the fate of Prelude guy, strange minicabs, weirdest car to hoard and Jonny’s gig confession.
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Smith and Sniff
Jonny Smith and Richard Porter
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37:59