The Chevrolet Nova is an older-style American car model. The podcast mentions it in connection with a specific interior part, like the hazard warning switches. That kind of detail usually comes up when someone is working on, restoring, or describing a particular car.
The Volkswagen Golf is a small car meant for daily driving. A Golf Cabriolet is the same basic car, but with a roof that can open so you can drive with the top down. It’s mentioned because it’s a popular, practical model and the convertible version is a fun twist.
The Suzuki Swift 5-door is a small hatchback with extra doors for easier access to the back seats. The podcast mentions it because the speaker likes the Swift and enjoys driving it. It’s a practical car that’s also meant to feel lively to drive.
The Ford Focus is a popular small Ford car. Here, the host is talking about the estate (wagon) version because it has more space but should still drive like a normal car.
An estate car is like a regular car, but with a bigger back for luggage. It usually has more room than a hatchback, while still driving like a normal car.
ST-Line is a Ford trim that usually makes the car look and feel more sporty. It’s more about styling and extra kit than turning it into a track-focused car.
Term
FR
FR here means a particular trim level that’s meant to be a bit more sporty than the standard version. It’s basically choosing a “nicer spec” rather than a totally different model.
Term
one-litre EcoBooms
This is the host’s way of saying they don’t want the smallest, economy-focused turbo engines. They’re worried those engines won’t feel as good or may not be as durable as bigger options.
Term
sanitising
Sanitising means thoroughly cleaning and treating the van’s interior so it’s not gross or smelly. It’s especially important if the van has been used hard before you convert it.
The Skoda Octavia is a car that’s built to be practical, with room for passengers and luggage. In the podcast, the Octavia VRS is mentioned as the more performance-oriented version. That means it’s meant to feel more sporty than the regular models.
Car
Octavia VRS
The Škoda Octavia VRS is a sportier version of the Octavia. It’s meant to feel more exciting to drive than a regular family estate.
The Mercedes-Benz E-Class is a comfortable, more luxurious car. In this conversation, it’s being used to illustrate that estates often prioritize comfort over sporty driving.
The Mercedes-Benz C-Class is a smaller Mercedes than the E-Class, and it can come as a wagon/estate. The speaker is mentioning it as a possible compromise between practicality and driving feel.
“Utilitarian vans” are work vans meant mainly for practicality and carrying things. The speaker is saying that even these can still be fun or pleasant to drive, using the Transit Connect as the example.
Bollinger makes a van-based vehicle called the “multispass.” Here, they’re talking about one that’s been converted into a small camper, so it can be used for trips and camping, not just commuting.
A micro camper conversion is when a van gets modified to work like a tiny camper. It usually adds just the basics—enough to sleep and live out of it—without turning it into a big expensive RV.
Micro MPVs are small, practical vehicles that can do a lot of jobs. In this discussion, they’re basically saying these smaller van-type MPVs can be good value because they don’t look exciting to everyone.
Term
condition wise
“Condition wise” just means you should judge how good the vehicle is overall. The hosts are saying these vans often get a lot of use, so you should check them closely before buying.
Term
engines are quite small
They’re saying the insurance tends to be okay because these vans usually have smaller engines. In general, smaller engines can mean cheaper costs and less risk, which can help with insurance.
A micro camper option is a small, space-saving camper build for a van. It usually adds a simple bed setup and some storage without turning the whole van into a big RV.
Modular kits are camper parts that can be added and taken out. The point here is that you can remove the camper setup later without making permanent changes.
Rails are like mounting tracks inside the van. Camper parts can attach to them, so you can install and remove the setup more easily.
Term
drill massive holes
Some camper conversions require drilling big holes into the van. The modular approach described here tries to avoid that so you can remove the camper later.
The Peugeot 405 is an older car model, usually a sedan. The podcast mentions it because the speaker noticed or dealt with parts like wheel trims. That kind of detail usually points to maintaining an older car.
White grease is a type of lubricant you can put on moving parts. The idea here is to help the mechanism move smoothly and not stick up after it gets dirty.
A “dry joint” is just a moving connection that doesn’t have enough lubricant. When it’s dry, it can start to stick—especially after dirt and salt get into it.
A fuel filler flap is the little door over the gas cap. On some cars it’s opened/closed by an electric “push” mechanism, and if it gets dirty and isn’t lubricated, it can get stuck—especially after winter road salt.
A reversing camera is a small camera at the back of the car that shows what’s behind you when you’re reversing. Some cars hide it behind a cover so it’s protected when you’re not using it.
Here, “badge” means the brand logo on the back of the car. The speaker says it can move to cover the rear camera when you’re done reversing.
Term
Algal cars
“Algal cars” means cars that get a green, slimy-looking growth on the outside. The host is saying it shouldn’t be left to get that bad and that regular cleaning can prevent it.
Term
aerodynamic mistake
They’re saying the sunshade can mess with how air flows around the car. That can make the car less efficient and potentially louder at speed.
Drag is the air “pushing back” against the car. If something flaps in the wind, it can create more drag and make the car feel less efficient or louder.
Tinted windows use darker glass or a film to reduce how much sunlight enters the cabin. The host is arguing that if cars already have tinted rear glass, an extra sunshade is less necessary.
These are little signs you put in the car window to tell other people (and emergency responders) that there’s a baby inside. The idea is to make it easier to respond quickly if there’s an accident.
They’re talking about the little trim around the window that helps keep rain from getting in. It’s related to those window add-ons people use so you can crack the window without letting in as much water.
Wind deflectors are little pieces you stick on near the window. They help smooth the airflow when you crack the window open, but they also change how the car looks, so some people think they look cool and others think they look cheap.
“Four by four” means the car can drive all four wheels, usually for better traction off-road or in bad weather. The host is saying the accessory looks more believable on a real 4x4.
The Mitsubishi Pajero is a rugged SUV that’s associated with off-roading. The speaker is basically saying that if wind deflectors are on a Pajero, they fit the car’s intended image better than on other vehicles.
A body shop is a garage that fixes accident damage and makes the car look good again. They can repair dents, replace damaged parts, and repaint panels.
“Gaff” is gaffer tape—strong tape people use as a quick temporary fix. If a car looks held together with it, it usually means the damage hasn’t been properly repaired yet.
“Scored wheels” means the rims have scratches or damage on them. It usually happens when a wheel hits a curb or gets scraped, and it makes the car look neglected.
Permanent marker is ink that’s meant to be difficult to wash off. If someone draws on a car with it, it can be really hard to clean away and makes the car look trashed.
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I'm Richard Porter.
I'm Johnny Smith.
And this is On the Other Side of Things, the Smith and Sniff spinoff in which we answer
your questions.
Hello again.
Here we are answering questions on a Friday and I have not prepared anything.
Oh, do you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to start.
Go on then.
Sometimes we like a question with a good story attached.
Yeah.
This is a story from our mate Dan Bevis of Bevis.
I always pronounce his name wrong.
Bevis, isn't it?
But Dan is the founder and editor of Copacetic Magazine, for whom I sometimes write.
Excellent magazine.
He sent us a story as the run-up to a question.
He starts with salutations, you pair of mischievously inverted voxel nova hazard warning switches.
This is an excellent reference.
If you know, you know.
Yeah.
In the mid-2000s, my friend Will and I were working in a warehouse in Canterbury and supplementing
our income by buying and selling assorted low-value items on eBay.
Back then, eBay was like the Wild West, nothing like the Identicate Amazon alternative it's
become today.
You never knew what random nonsense you'd find on there and because many people didn't
have digital cameras and the advent of the smartphone was still a way off.
You'd frequently find yourself taking descriptions on trust and waiting to see what turned up
in the post.
I remember those days very fondly.
In the course of our regular browsing, wading through the miasma of half-completed, panini
sticker books, Princess Diana memorabilia and soiled galoshes that populated the world's
digital jumble sale back then, we happened across something peculiar, a boring machine.
That is to say, not a machine that was fundamentally uninteresting, but one designed for boring
out great big holes in the ground.
Specifically, this was one of the actual boring machines used to dig out the channel tunnel.
Like I said, eBay in the 2000s was wild.
Wow.
We watched with interest.
I know it's nonsense.
It was on eBay.
What the bloody hell?
I remember doing a project on the channel tunnel at primary school.
We actually had to build Lego boring machines and we had a competition at the Sun Pit.
They had names, didn't they?
Those two machines, I think.
Yeah, like Baldrick and Dick Splash or something.
One of them is still down there, is it?
Yeah, it's a lot of them.
One of them is dead down there and the other one made it out alive.
That's it.
Yeah, one of them they had to just drive into a side tunnel and board it up.
Yeah.
Yeah, which is sad, isn't it?
It dug its own grave.
Anyway, it really did, didn't it?
Yeah, it really did.
Dan continues, we watched with interest as the bidding incrementally grew and we checked
back on it during our lunch break.
We saw the numbers were into six figures.
So just for the hell of it, Will decided to throw in a joke bid.
I forget the exact amount but it was somewhere around half a million quid.
We giggled as he clicked submit but the giggling swiftly shifted into a concerned silence and
a bead of sweat as at that moment the rising bid stopped.
It looked like we were on the hook for 500 grand worth of extremely heavy duty machinery.
Aside from only having about three quid in our pockets, we didn't really have anywhere
to park the bloody thing.
At the end of the working day after a slightly nervous afternoon.
And remember, this was the pre-smartphone age.
We couldn't be constantly checking for updates.
The internet was a destination.
We had to wait for a chance to get to a computer.
We were relieved to discover that the bidding had picked up again and the channel tunnel
boring machine was now comfortably beyond the million pound mark and still climbing.
Mightily relieved, we went to the pub.
The next morning, while we were on our tea break, Will received a phone call.
It was a rather harassed sounding lady from eBay calling to tell us that the winning bid
had fallen through and congratulations, we were now the highest bidder and she was calling
to arrange payment.
This was clearly not the first such phone call she'd had to make regarding this item.
They immediately followed a brief and animatedly lively episode in which we each proceeded to
attempt to run in four directions at once and messily shit ourselves inside out before
squeakily asking her if it would be okay to have a meeting and phone her back.
So we sat there tense enough to suck all the gravity from the room into our quivering sphincters,
allowing a plausible amount of time for some business guys to have a buzznose meeting and
talk buzznose.
Then we called her back and tremblingly explained that we'd run some numbers and concluded that
we weren't presently in a state of sufficient liquidity to acquire a 1200 tonne Robin's
Double Shield TBM.
And yes, its 20 foot diameter was indeed impressive and its peak torque figure of 4,227,660lb
was indeed undeniably mighty.
But regrettably we'd have to pass up this once in a lifetime opportunity.
Long story short, we were acting like jackasses and the lady from eBay played an absolute
blinder in calmly calling us out on it.
Thankfully, we didn't end up having to buy a boring machine as I imagine our lives would
have turned out rather differently if we did.
After this lengthy preamble, my question for you is actually deliciously simple.
What's the stupidest thing you've accidentally bought or nearly bought on eBay?
Oh my gosh.
A friend of mine used to do like, we used to bid and buy strange things and then forward
them and then post them to one another.
A friend of mine, a friend of mine I used to go to college with was sent to be a box
full of Afrocombs knowing full well that I didn't need an Afrocombe because he won
the bid for something like a pound.
And so I had a box of Afrocombs delivered.
One of my favorites, from a slightly different angle, it is something that someone I know
sold on eBay and was amazed to find that someone bought it.
Was when James May sold an opened and part smoked packet of cigarettes on eBay for far
in excess of the value of half a packet of cigarettes.
This was in the 2000s.
Again, when eBay was the way that Dan is describing it, Wild West.
Yeah, it was very exciting.
Yeah.
James was an enthusiastic eBayer and he was purely like a sort of bored experiment on
Friday night.
Why have I put this pack of tabs on eBay?
So he hastily took two photos of it, made very clear in the description that five of
the cigarettes had been smoked or something.
And someone paid like 20 quid for it back when a pack of tabs wasn't 20 quid.
Oh my gosh.
And yeah, he assumed the person thought it was a brick of cigarettes from duty free.
Yeah.
But the picture in description made very clear that it wasn't.
And yeah, so James and Julie had to go down to the post office with a package that could
take to half a slightly smoked packet of cigarettes.
I don't know who bought them, but presumably they could answer this question with, I want
to pay too much money for some cigarettes off James May, but I didn't know it was James
May.
I mean, I bought my recent boat on eBay.
I've sold my garden office on eBay, which was completely erected and needed dismantling
in order to get it down the side of the house to get it onto a lorry to move it.
I sold that on eBay.
Did saying you must dismantle this?
Yeah, must be dismantled on the premises in order to and showed access.
It needed to go through a normal side gate.
I had an old shed that was, you know, still in situ.
And a mate of mine said, just stick it on eBay.
And I was like saying what?
And he went saying buyer has to dismantle and take away.
And I was like, yeah, I just smell aggro there.
I smell someone not reading the description properly and turning up and going, well, what
am I supposed to do now?
And I just, I didn't do it because.
Didn't you?
Oh, you just got to put an asterisks in the title saying, please read description.
I know, but I just feel people still don't.
Well, they don't.
But that's the problem.
Yes, well, yes, quite.
I've met a lot of interesting but strange people as a result of of turning up and purchasing
things as well.
I'm just looking over there.
The Pacman.
I've got an old original Pacman tabletop arcade.
I bought that on eBay and went to, I had to drive to Lowestoff to pick that up when I
lived in London.
And the only car I had that was on the road was a golf cabriolet.
So I picked it up in a golf cabriolet and took the roof down and lifted it over with
the help of a friend onto the back seat.
And then I strapped it in with two belts and drove back to London with an arcade on the
back seat.
That was fun.
Never a dull day, Rich.
I've just realized we've sort of done this, but not involving eBay.
I realized that my kids quite like playing table tennis and a friend of ours was getting
rid of a table tennis table and he's just like, don't use it while you get rid of it.
It's actually at my parents' house.
I ditched it there.
They're getting quite frustrated that it's just taking up space in their garden.
Table tennis is perfect.
Our mate brought it round because, brilliantly, he has a little K truck.
So he just got it on the back.
It was the perfect size.
It was just, you know, table tennis tables sort of fold in half upwards as they sit vertically.
And he just strapped it down really well on the back of his K truck and drove it over.
Fantastic.
Got it into the garden.
But I've realized that, you know, because of where we live, everywhere's hilly.
We don't have a lot of flat surfaces.
And there's just not really any room for it.
Really?
One spot it can go and it's a slightly compromised playing area.
Yeah.
And it's all a bit like, I mean, yeah, in fairness.
Can I buy it off you?
What?
And then get our mate to transport it across the country on the back of a K truck.
If you give me the dimensions later and I'll see if I can...
I think they're standard.
Just look up a table tennis table and it's like that.
Does it fold?
It folds vertically.
Yeah, yeah.
It folds into vertical position, but then obviously it has the frame and the wheels are still there.
So...
All right, all right.
Well, I've got to come down to Somerset for a funeral soon.
So maybe I'll pick it up on the way back.
Oh.
Anyway, we'll talk about this when we're not podcasting.
But yeah.
I'll tell you now, it won't go in a car.
This is a van or lorry job.
You know, K, K truck.
I have a van, Rich.
Oh, you do, don't you?
Yeah, bloody arm, man.
You're talking to van guy here.
I forgot about that.
Captain Sipton Reade.
OK, should we do another question?
Good day, gents.
I'm 25.
This is from a chap.
I'll just check whether he wants his name reading out.
Hector.
Hi, Hector.
I'm 27.
I'm a keen enthusiast of my Mark II Suzuki Swift Spo...
W...
W...
...not least for its dependability and tight handling,
but at times I crave a bit more refinement and room for things.
For context, I have a lot of camping gear,
and I share a small two bedroom flat with a couple,
so space is limited, meaning that the puny 211-litre boot
often extends as a storage unit for all the fluff I can't house
under my ottoman or balance on top of my wardrobe.
I can't afford to go beyond a one-car solution.
I'm having thoughts of either going for a focus-slash-lay-on estate
to retain some handling fun whilst having more space
or going the whole hog and getting a Blingo-slash-caddy-slash-transit-connect
to be converted into a mini-home-from-home.
Whilst I haven't experienced driving a small van,
everybody I know who seems to describe them
is more entertaining than you'd imagine.
With the estates, I'll be more picky with spec.
Probably post-2010, ST-Line or FR, preferably,
and no one-litre EcoBooms,
meaning that my £5,000 budget would probably only stretch
to a more tired thing.
But I'd retain something that drives like a car
and is at least nice to Mars.
On the other side, with the novelty a van brings,
I would welcome something considerably more utilitarian
and a bit ghetto, and probably in need of welding slash sanitising.
But this has its own project appeal.
Can't decide whether the van would be a good idea
when I use it for camper things,
but a bit too rudimentary when using it day-to-day.
And on the flip side, whether the estate's listed
whilst being a better daily and needed a drive
would end up somewhat uninteresting,
lacking the charm of the swift.
Maybe an Octavia VRS or a Focus ST
would tick all the racier spec pickle.
But I hold even less hope in getting an unshagged example
for my little budget.
Guys, what do you think?
Cheers mate, thanks mate, bye, Hector.
Hector, the Swift is a great vehicle.
So I think my immediate reaction to this is thus.
If you're going to go a state car, you want a proper estate car,
which means the back end has to be really, really squared off and large.
And if you do that, there's not that many cars which drive sportily.
They'll be very, very plush.
Like an E-class Merc, for example, I would get an E-class
or even a C-class Mercedes estate.
I would go mid-2000s, like a 2008, 2009, 2010 era.
But I don't know if it's going to be sporty.
I don't think it will be.
But the thing about utilitarian vans,
I mean, and the Transit Connect drives brilliantly well as an example.
Yeah, yeah.
Vans are more refined than you realise.
And those van car things like Bollinger multispasses and that sort of stuff.
The charm of those things is they are so good at lots of different things.
They're a bit of a Swiss army knife and you can modify them cheaply and easily.
So I'm earring on that.
I have to say, I'm earring on the van car thing.
What about you, Rich?
I was concerned, same.
And I've just found on eBay, a dented, only slightly dented,
Bollinger multispass with optional micro camper conversion.
Oh, great.
Which is up for £3,300.
Your money goes a long way in micro MPVs because they're not sexy
and lots of people, unless it's got van life written all over it,
or I don't know, adventure before dementia.
Most people just think it's what dog groomers use.
So all I would say is when looking for one of those types of vehicles,
as I think you probably have to view them carefully, condition wise.
Because they will have got a lot of them will have got used hard,
because they're so damn useful.
So pick them carefully and but there's plenty of ones out there,
which are used by an older person who probably looks after them quite just fine.
And I think insurance wise, they tend to be all right
because the engines are quite small.
Howdy, howdy, ho and welcome to Fantasy Fan, fellas.
I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fan Girls podcast
and your resident lover of all things Sanderson.
And I'm Stephen, your bookish internet goofball.
But you can call me the Smash Daddy.
And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic, Mistborn.
But here's the catch.
Stephen here has not read Mistborn before.
That's right. Hey, hey.
So each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chat.
And along the way, we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers.
And Stephen will even try to guess what's next. Spoiler alert.
He'll be wrong. News flash. I'm never wrong.
Episodes come out every Wednesday
and you can find fantasy fanfellows wherever you get your podcasts.
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I was just looking at this this Bollingo.
So the micro camper option is basically
a perfectly sized,
made to measure wooden frame that goes into the back, that is your bed.
Yeah. With a fitted mattress on top of it.
Yeah. And then because it's it's a frame, it stands up.
You have storage underneath, which I guess Hector could use for storing things
that won't go. It is flat as well.
And then you have your bed on top.
It actually looks quite cool.
So yeah, that would be my vote as well.
I was curious if you get something in budget, but clearly you can.
There's always a few dents and scuffs, which this
Bollingo's definitely got, but it seems fundamentally to be OK.
Yeah. And a shout out to our friend Max McMurdo,
who's like a professional upcycling TV presenter guys worked on
George Clark's Amazing Spaces and stuff like that.
Max is a furniture like an industrial designer by trade.
And he has a camper conversion company called Outlandish.
He's not paying me to say this, but what's really good about the modular kits
that he sells is they're they're reversible.
So you can like lease a brand new van, fit all this stuff in on rails
and and then remove it all three years later without having had to drill
massive holes and stuff like that.
So it means that by weekend you could have a camper and by week you could have
a passenger car and you don't have to leave all the stuff in it.
So it could be worth looking at.
I mean, I'm look, I'm in danger of giving real advice here.
So yeah, stop me in my tracks.
If you convert it to a car, where do you put the stuff, the camper stuff?
I presume it has to go somewhere.
I tend to just throw it into a nearby hedge.
There's a really good label near me where people tend to dump seats of cars,
usually with feces. Yeah.
So that's what I would do.
I I like to just leave it on the pavement, but
put a badly fitted tarpaulin over it.
What weighed down my stones?
Yes. Oh, yeah.
Half half a house brick on each square on three of the corners.
And yeah, just just an old trainer on the fourth corner.
Oh, yeah.
Just an old workbook.
Stick that on there. Yeah. Yeah.
And and safest houses.
No problem at all, particularly if you live in a busy thoroughfare.
So yeah, that's good.
Yeah, camper. Why not?
I would say because there's also I mean, so he's in his 20s as well.
So, you know, he's sort of good age for just going, fuck it,
let's go and have some adventures in a really dented bilingo.
Those those those adventures create memories and in all seriousness,
when you're an age where you're on a bit, living on a budget
and money can be a bit tighter, you have the best time in those sorts of cars
because you can just go anywhere as long as you can afford the fuel
and you could take it all with you.
And nowadays, you've got little power packs that that run stuff,
LED, low draw lighting, get some bedding in there.
You can have a great, great time.
So I would definitely do that. Definitely.
As we move on to a question from a listener who signs himself as Joe,
age 34 and a half from Spalding.
OK, Joe says, hello, you pair of moderately damaged Peugeot 405
wheel trims. While walking my dog lately, I've noticed a pair of things
that really annoy me with other people's vehicles.
The first is with cars that have their boot opening mechanism built
into the badge, such as VWs and Mercedeses.
People driving around with the badge cocked upwards as if being opened,
reminding me of someone walking into your office with their flies down
and the zip pull sticking out.
Yes. The second is when someone's rubber door seals are broken to the point
where if they've hung down and got trapped when the door has closed,
flapping in the breeze, looking like it's been woken by hearing the bin lorry
and had to jump hastily out of bed to put the bins out and only managed
to grab hold of yesterday's work shirt on the way.
Yes, called this automotive shirt cocking.
Have you got any small examples of other cars of others,
car slovenliness that you can't unsee and which winds you up?
Things like this, I can't help thinking you must know.
Keep up the good work in regards to Joe.
That's very good observations, first of all.
The badge thing. Yeah.
Is this would this be a case where certainly on certain areas of golf
that maybe does the does the mechanism get a bit gummy so it doesn't
smoothly retract to the closed position?
Is that an issue? Yeah, perhaps.
It's it'll need a bit of white grease or silicon spray because
like I said, it's just a dry joint.
And if you think about all of the salt and the dirt that goes up
the back of the car from Aero over winter, you know, those things
lead a hard life and nobody ever does basic lubing on their car
because they can't be asked.
And that's why those solenoid activated fuel filler flaps jam
because nobody lubes them. Oh, yes.
So if with my dad hat on, the time to do it is summer.
Do it now. Yeah. So as you go into winter, you've already lubed all those
little joints, it takes you about 30 seconds.
It could save you hundreds.
You know, I may make the I think a lot of the Mercedes ones
and some of the VW ones or say out ones.
They occasionally it's some on some of them with a camera,
the reversing camera is hidden under there because and I don't know
if they jam open, but one of my favourite games for no reason at all
is sometimes you'll see a Mercedes that's just reversed.
And I love to keep watching it until it hits the speed where the badge
closes again to hide the camera because you'll see it driving off.
You'll go, oh, that badge is all. Oh, wait, I keep waiting for it.
Wait for it. Wait. There it goes.
And I don't know.
I haven't noticed so many of those jammed open, but I'm sure it happens
for exactly the reason you say that the back of the car gets a lot of shite
on it in winter, doesn't it? So I've got two pieces of beef
like yours irritants.
One of them is is is Algal cars.
We've talked about Algal cars before.
I just can't understand how a car could get to that point and be used
and sat in parked regularly and the person just doesn't go.
It's got too much now.
Let's just give this let's a little clean,
even if it's just with a really aggressive yard brush and some fairy liquid,
at least then it's not properly Algal.
So I don't like the Algal thing, even though we talk about Algal cars
on the main podcast a lot, it's become a bit of a thing.
But the second thing that irritates the shit out of me
and I just don't think it's a worthy solution to a problem is the external
stretchy Lycra sunshade for children in the back of cars.
Cars, it's basically an aerodynamic mistake.
And what's wrong with putting a shade on the inside
so that it isn't just out in the elements the whole time,
flapping, causing drag and being annoying.
And at the end of the day, most cars now at the back have tinted windows,
even if you don't want them, they come as standard with tinted windows
and everyone drives around with the air conditioning on.
So do you actually need this?
I just don't think you do.
I think it's rubbish.
I'd like to just rip them all off and burn them.
I hate them.
They're a crap. They're a crap idea.
Just a shit idea.
You don't put a sun visor on the outside of your window, do you?
No, that's true.
So I always look at them and just go, oh, I bet that's noisy at speed.
That must be annoying.
So I don't know. You're right.
I don't just it's not a solution.
Mindful, the fact that you're not getting sunburned through glass.
No, how much does your child need shielding?
Is it a question?
It's it doesn't seem it's that necessary.
But it's in the room one on one for me with a baby on board plaques.
Ah, yes.
Well, there's the origin story of those is that
they were supposed to alert the emergency services in the event of a serious accident.
Yes, there was a baby in the car in case that wasn't immediately obvious.
But of course, people just leave them there permanently, don't they?
So it rather renders them pointless.
Yes, I guess.
It's just silly, Richard.
Stupid, just stupid.
Stupid, just stupid.
I don't it's just reminding me that I
I share a dislike with our friends at Topdud Centre of those plastic aero
things over the over the side windows that you often see on JDM cars.
Oh, the rain the rain gutter.
Yeah, I was just thinking they look smoking with the window down a bit.
I think they're allowed to allow smoking on the air.
Yeah. And that's why they're not like them.
But no, I say that picture of one of my
I just bought a Japanese import our bath 500.
Yes. And and it's it's got some it's got those deflectors on it.
But they've got something weird like mud shoots written on them.
And I was like, what? Why has it got that written on them?
It's so strange.
Mud shoot.
It's not I thought I saw it in your picture.
I like them. I think on the right car, they're great.
Well, I think it's on the right car.
I just think that they look
really cheap.
I put them on the chimney.
I saw a car the other day.
What was it? It was something like a rich like an old Jaguar or something.
And I sort of saw it kind of almost that corner of my eye.
I went, oh, look at that.
It was really tidy, really good spec.
And I saw it had those wind deflectors on it.
It means it's like, oh, they don't look right.
No, I think they only look right on on Japanese JDM cars.
So my Tokyo taxi has them.
And I've had a couple of cars with them on, which just look extra nerdy.
But they can look really gawky as well.
I've just found the picture of my of my face on the wind deflectors.
It actually says mud factory.
Sounds like a euphemism for your bottom.
I don't understand why you would have a wind deflectors.
It's also good.
It's also not a four by four car.
If it was on a Mitsubishi Pajero, you'd go, yeah.
It's sort of pigeon English for going off roading and enjoying four by four life.
Yeah.
But it's not how bizarre.
No, I know that's unless it that's what they're the origin of the company.
Now they do all cars.
I just don't know.
But anyway, I think I can't think of any other things to answer Joe's question.
But it's sort of because what we're talking about here is, you know,
if you see someone driving around and like the bumper on their car has
absolutely been mashed and then held together with Gaff and things.
And you sort of go, well, now they maybe have been to a body shop
and the body shop's gone.
Yeah, that would be 1200 quid to sort that.
And they can't know the car's only worth that.
And you know, money's tight and I'm just not going to do it.
I'll just get some more Gaff on it.
That's understandable.
Yes.
But these are things like the boot badge and the door seals.
We sort of go, I think you could sort that.
That would be a cheap and easy fix at home.
No experts needed.
And it would make your car look a bit tidier.
So I get where Joe's coming from.
He just goes, this looks a bit sort of sloppy, but I can't think of any equivalent.
I think we're in right now in the world, certainly in the UK.
This might be UK centric, actually, is that there's so many people
who are driving cars more premium than their pocket can really afford.
And those cars aren't looked after as well, which is ironic,
given that they probably are paying through the nose to keep them
through finance or whatever.
And then the car starts to look tired.
They don't take as much pride in it.
But yet it's important to them that they're driving around in an Audi
or a Mercedes to show the world they're doing well.
But the car starts to look a bit ghetto and I don't understand what that's about.
I'd rather they just why don't you just buy a 12 year old car
and live with it for less money and have it in better condition
rather than a four year old Audi that's like dragging its bumper on the ground,
tripping over its own chin and it's got like scored wheels
and, you know, a massive dent on one of the corners.
It just looks rubbish.
But there's a real mindset, I think, amongst some people as well.
But I drive a driver four year old Audi, so I'm doing well,
even though it looks like it's been nicked.
And it's also been blacked out in all of the wrong places.
There's a bit that someone's gone around it with a with a permanent marker.
And it just looks crap.
Budget drug dealers back.
Well, there we go. Anyway, it seems like a note on which to end.
If you have a question for us, it's hello at Smith and sniff.com is our email address.
If you can be so bothered, put a sort at the start of the subject line.
It just helps to find questions as opposed to the other emails that we receive.
We'll do this all again next Friday, normal show on Monday until then.
Goodbye. Hope some of that was useful, everybody.
Thanks. Bye.
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About this episode
A Q&A session built around a wild eBay story: a friend nearly bought a Channel Tunnel boring machine after a joke bid accidentally became the winning bid. The hosts riff on the pre-smartphone “Wild West” of early eBay—trusting listings, waiting for updates, and getting bizarre results. The question sparks more tales: buying a box of Afrocombs for a pound, James May selling an opened/part-smoked pack of cigarettes for a surprising sum, and transporting odd purchases like a Pacman arcade and even a table tennis table using small trucks.
In this week’s On The Other Side Of Things question answering show, Jonny and Richard address stupid things bought from eBay, van or estate, and automotive slovenliness.
