S2 Ep17: Italian Police Fined Me For 'Modifying' My Car!

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Didn't get arrested. I got a little bit...

You got arrested, too.

Look, my door fell off on the motorway.

I was very, very warm, pulled into a service station.

It's amazing. Your door fell off into the boot of your car. It was incredible.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the AutoElects podcast, home of automotive

financial mistakes, our life in cars, and your questions answered today.

Rory, Taylor and I will, as ever, fill your ear and your eye holes with discussions

about what we've been up to. And it's been a lot.

A lot.

It's been a heavy week, few weeks.

We'll play another round of how much that.

And we'll try to help one of you guys with your keep or quit dilemma.

Lema.

But before that, I want to say a massive hello to Daniel Powell, driving to

Luton Airport to pick up his brother after his plane was diverted from Birmingham.

Pyro technician, Rayfin Weber, who was working at the same

Sam Fender gig I went to recently. Hello, Rayfin.

We've got Dan Morris, who spotted a garage fire, alerted the fire brigade, and

quite probably saved an entire family, but unfortunately not the BMW E30 that was in the blaze.

Oh, I saw that. He messaged me on Instagram.

And the E30, so the white one, yeah, it set fire because they had their electric car on charge

and it shorted out. And the garage caught fire and he just caught it.

And the E30 has got like a bit of certain stuff on it, but it looks all right.

You'll go again. Well done.

Well done. Well done indeed. And you quite possibly did save like a whole family's life,

so well done. We've got George Loveridge and his mates who are just back from an epic road

trip adventure all the way to Monaco. Jack Richardson and his girlfriend Emma,

who have also completed a dream 3000 mile road trip in Harvey, the Mini Cooper S.

We've got fellow high mileage E46 owner Dan Wood and the Royal is Mom Jackie.

It's been a while. How is Roy's mom Jackie?

Yeah, she's doing all right. Yeah. Yeah. She got to meet Bailey.

How is Bailey explained to everyone who was Bailey?

Bailey is my golden retriever puppy. Yeah.

He's your fur baby. Although he's off sale today.

Is he really? Yeah. Yeah. He can go.

Why is that, Roy? What's happened?

Look, we thought toilet training was going really well.

What, after five days? No, it's been two weeks. It's been two weeks.

Okay. Yeah. And so far he's managed to never shit inside.

Yeah.

And he's like done literally maybe two weeks or something like that.

Yeah.

This morning, he woke up and chose violence.

Did he? Yeah. Oh.

He was like, this is my time. Oh, to shine.

I'm going to shit everywhere.

So Ellie has gone down. She's, she's let him out in the morning.

And then he's gone out. He's done a little, little piss.

Yeah.

I think that was a little fake one.

Oh, really?

Because there was more in there.

Did you upset him?

I don't know what it was.

Okay.

But anyway, Ellie went back upstairs to go have a shower and stuff.

And then next thing you know, I've come down this shit all over the dining room.

I walk into the living room.

There's shit all over the living room.

And then I'm standing there looking at him going like, you, what have you done?

And then he squats right in front of me and starts pissing.

And then there's me literally running to grab him to take him outside

because that's what you're going to do when you have a puppy.

Yeah.

He's like trying to grab them.

Anyway, he goes outside.

He's like, oh no, I don't need to piss anymore.

Five minutes later, I turn my back for five seconds and I turn around

and he's there squatting and pissing again.

And I'm like, what is going on?

Do you know what to do in that situation?

No.

Piss on the dog.

Okay.

Yeah.

Assert your dominance.

Okay.

I'll try that next time.

This is my house.

I'm going to piss on you.

I'm not sure.

Don't do that.

That's no.

Don't do that.

No.

Because then he'll be extra angry.

He will.

And his shit on your bed.

Can I just say as well, for a golden retriever,

he does bigger shits than Maze does.

Really?

Bigger than even, you know,

the other two dogs that we had at your birthday thing.

Yeah.

No, Chris's birthday thing.

Chris, yeah.

Yeah.

They were even bigger than them.

Oh, wow.

You're joking.

No.

And he's only this big.

He's a little puppy.

Well, he is his father's son, isn't he?

Yeah.

Have you said something rude to him or something?

I don't know.

Maybe.

Have you changed his phone?

We did leave for a week.

We did, yeah.

I bet he's done that just so good.

I think he's done that.

Despite you.

You've mugged me off.

I'm going to mug you.

Yeah.

This is what happens if you leave again.

This is my house now.

You came.

I'm the man of the house now.

You came back and he was like,

Ellie's my wife.

Anyway, what have we all been up to?

It's been very, very, very busy two weeks.

Shall I get started?

Yeah.

Go on.

We drove our High Mileage Hero shipboxes to Croatia.

And it was the best trip that we've ever done.

We had multiple breakdowns.

We had the High Mileage Volvo,

720,000 miles driven by Taylor.

We had a Range Rover L322 driven by Tom Lenthal.

And I took miles, my 465,000 mile Skoda Octavia.

We went through UK, France, Switzerland,

Slovenia, ending in Croatia.

Italy.

The place you got arrested.

I didn't get arrested.

I got a little bit.

You got arrested.

Look, my door fell off on the motorway.

I was very, very warm.

Pulled into a service station.

It's amazing.

Your door fell off into the boot of your car.

Yeah, it was like a tornado thing.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's amazing, that.

But yeah, we've got all of that on film.

So in the next few weeks, that series will be coming out.

And...

No, it won't.

Next few weeks.

What does few mean?

More than three.

No, no.

Three, three or more.

Few is like two of...

All right.

No, no, no.

Two is a couple.

Comment below.

When someone says few, what does that mean to you?

Because in my mind, that means two or three weeks.

No, two is a couple.

Three is a few or more.

What's coming out this week?

I can't remember.

Clio.

Yeah, Clio.

Clio Williams.

Clio, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

So what we're trying to do, we're trying to make our series consistent.

So at the moment, we're dropping our French hot hat series,

which is five or six episodes.

So that will lead us all the way actually into...

I think it is going to lead us into October, maybe.

Maybe or maybe right at the end of September.

And that's when this high mileage hero drink will be released.

Also, if you're watching this with your eye holes on YouTube,

you may notice we have a special guest behind us.

It's Scarlett, everyone.

Say hello, Scarlett.

That's my Scarlett.

Scarlett, the unicorn that you will also see in our high mileage series.

And for those of you who can't see, it is a inflatable unicorn.

It's an inflatable unicorn that floats and it's got glue on its nose.

Yes.

That was...

She's been sniffing glue.

No, she's got glue on her nose because I got her nose stuck in a lift.

Yes.

It's a long story.

Which you'll all see.

Yeah, you bought me Scarlett as a gift.

I did, yeah.

And we ended up out in the oceans of...

Where was it?

It was just north of Split.

In our clothes, we fell into the sea and we drifted off.

We did.

I was so...

Yeah, I'm so in love with Scarlett.

I thought I've got to bring her home.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

And she also took a trip down the Croatian coastal road.

Yeah, like beautiful mountainous roads.

Flapping around on the roof of our phone.

Getting a lot of attention, wasn't she?

Yeah, strange eyes.

Yeah, a lot of looks.

So yeah, if you're listening, then maybe go on to YouTube, jump on.

And then say hello to Scarlett.

Hello, Scarlett.

So yeah, that's super, super excited to show you guys that.

And we met some Italian fans and stuff.

I mean, the police, they were real super fans, weren't they?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they came out.

They wanted your autograph and everything.

They also wanted money from me.

Really?

Yeah, which is like an Italian tradition.

When you meet one of your heroes, you demand money from them?

I'm not sure that's the case.

More cars have been purchased but not collected yet.

So Rory's very happy about that.

So you made a rule that on every road trip, we buy a car.

Yeah, it's a tradition now.

Tradition, yeah.

But you ended up buying two.

Well, they're strays, Rory.

So also, this was a very common theme of the whole trip that they just kept saying,

it's a stray.

It's a stray.

If it's a stray, it's going to get crushed.

I'm not going to allow that.

Scarlet was a stray.

Scarlet, you were also a stray and you're still here as well.

Yeah.

So I'll give you a little clue.

One of them is a very old Porsche with a turbocharger.

Very cheap.

So it's not that Porsche.

It's not what you're thinking.

And the other one is a Suzuki off-roader

that looks like a Mark II MX-5.

If you know what it is, comment below.

So that will be on the V2 channel.

So buying the Porsche and also buying the Suzuki off-roader,

which will be really, really fun.

Tomorrow is a big day.

Yeah.

Amelia's birthday.

Her first ever birthday.

Amelia, if you don't know, is my daughter.

She's awesome.

And yeah, she is turning one.

So.

Haggard, though, at the same time.

Wow.

Wow, Rianne.

Rianne is listening to this now.

Rianne, my wife, Rory just called our daughter Haggard.

It's because she's got long hair.

You know what they say, Rory?

But like father, like son.

No, she's got long hair, so she looks a lot older than she is.

Is that what you're getting at?

Yeah, she just, she does, she looks like a toddler at the moment.

Well, tomorrow she will be a toddler.

Is it one year old and past, is that toddler age?

She's a few years old, yeah.

So that's one.

Is it Rory?

One.

Speaking of Amelia.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't think we mentioned this.

No, we didn't.

Why? What's happened?

She started doing a trait that Alex has.

We did mention this.

So cute.

It is so cute.

We did mention this.

But it is so funny that she's just copied it off Alex though.

Because Alex didn't know that he actually even did it.

No.

And Alex does this thing when he eats,

and he sort of sniffs at the same time.

So he's like, takes a mouthful and he's like.

It's not true.

No, these are vicious rowers.

And do you know how we know it's true?

Because guess who started doing it the exact same?

In all fairness, Rory,

you have got traits as well.

Oh, we've all got traits.

That you're...

Oh, when he does this weird face thing.

Yeah, that funny face thing.

Yeah, that he does.

My little happy face.

Yeah.

When you have a child and they pick up on that,

we will also laugh.

Are they going to pick up on being fat in the face?

I will drum it into their heads.

All of your little foibles and stuff,

I'll be like, hey, little hamster baby.

Jingo.

Jingo the baby.

Jingo.

I don't know.

That's a good name.

I'm going with Jingo.

When you're sleeping, you also need to whimper.

Oh.

Anyway, you shouldn't have brought that up, should you?

You shouldn't have brought that up.

That was just one night, man.

I had a little whimper.

So we got reports on our road trip

that not only apparently do I whimper,

but Alex wimpers as well.

I whimper in a manly way though.

No, apparently it was not.

For anyone that doesn't know,

we all take the mick out of each other

when we go on road trips

because Rory wimpers in his sleep.

Like he really wimps.

Which is like a thing where you're like

almost crying in your sleep.

I have always been one of snoring.

Snoring and shitting.

So much so that we stayed in the same hotel room once

on our first ever road trip.

And we all have refused to do it ever again

because you two never got any sleep.

So even though Alex pays for all the rooms,

he still would prefer to share a room

and stay with Taylor and then have his own.

And Alex, I don't know, he didn't normally do anything.

But now, because you're all fat and old,

Rory still wimpers.

You not only snore, which I have reports of,

but you also now whimper in your sleep.

And I have stopped doing all of the above.

I don't snore anymore.

Well, the weight you've lost, I've put on.

And it's all gone to my fat neck.

Can we move on?

I had a little whimper the one night,

but I don't whimper anymore.

You do?

No.

You whimper and snore.

I'm so dominant when I sleep.

Taylor, what you been up to?

Well, as it turns out, drove to Croatia.

Oh, yeah, really?

How was that?

It was, as Alex said, best road trip I've ever been on,

genuinely.

And we've done quite a few between us.

And yeah, it was just amazing, amazing fun.

Amazingly hot.

Oh my God, it was so hot.

I was actually saying earlier on,

I can't remember.

I was in the car with Jay.

And I was like, do you know what?

As much as I enjoyed that road trip,

I am quite glad that it's not a million degrees.

Yes.

And do you know what?

I was so glad I was in the camera car this trip.

Oh God, can you imagine how much he would have moaned?

He did moan.

Do you remember the aircon?

As soon as it gets a little bit hot or a bit tired,

it's like, no, no, we're not filming anymore.

No, we go, we go.

We need to go to a garage now.

Yeah.

Take out the aircon.

It was hotter in the camera car.

Was it?

Yeah, it was all the equipment.

You had all of, all your windows worked.

I didn't have the driver's side window worked out.

Rory, my heater was stuck on.

Which is why my soul fell off.

I set in all of your cars,

and it was a lot colder than the motion camera.

No, you're being dramatic.

My heater was stuck on for that entire trip.

No.

So Croatia was good?

Croatia was fantastically good.

And you've come back with a girlfriend?

Come back with a unicorn.

Saw some places I've always wanted to see.

Yeah.

And always wanted to travel to.

And all your wheels stay done this time?

Nope.

But that will be revealed in the episode.

Taylor and wheel bolts, they're not friends.

No.

No, they're really not friends.

So we've found out now, Taylor can't do wheels.

He can't do brakes, as he said in his last podcast.

Oh, my brake pads did fall out.

And there was something else he couldn't do.

In all fairness, I-

Keeping a car cool?

Can't do that.

No, no, no, that doesn't know.

In all fairness, I hadn't touched any of the wheels on that car.

And although I didn't check them,

who else, no one else checked their wheels?

It's okay, because the car had only been sitting for a few years.

I mean, why would you bother checking?

Your car was sitting for years.

Oh, I did a full nut and bolt check before.

It was not, actually.

Wow.

We put coilovers on it only probably like three, four months ago.

Yeah, I know.

Even more excuse to check your wheel bolts.

No, because we actually had the wheels off.

Yeah, but I never drove it afterwards.

Talked it up, didn't drive it.

I was like, I remember that.

You know, whatever.

But yeah, it is what it is.

Yeah, we had a few close calls.

Yeah, it decided-

And then we got shouted at by the restaurant woman because-

Oh, she was-

She charged me two quid to go for a wee.

Okay.

Did she charge you any money to jack the car up in her parking spot?

I didn't ask.

No, well, there you go.

So maybe she was like, I'm going to charge him double.

So yeah, did Croatia absolutely incredible.

Other than that, not a lot really.

Just been-

Lots of filming.

Working with you guys and doing lots of filming.

Yeah, I've not really done much, been enjoying my 205 still.

I actually brought that over today because we're starting a new series

with our hot hatches, our French hot hatches.

I've still got a bit more to do on my Persho

because I've been trying to put mileage on it

to iron out any little faults that it might have

and it has a few.

So-

Mainly the driver.

Rory.

Anything to report?

No.

Bid to Croatia.

Croatia.

Dog shit everywhere.

Right.

I have been informed of a car driver on Facebook Marketplace

that I just wanted to share with you guys.

Okay.

If you're listening with your ear holes,

jump over onto YouTube after this or now and check it out

because I think you'll really like this.

Is this something we need to buy?

Is it a stray?

It's a stray, but we don't want to buy it

because it's a bit shit,

but the advert is just absolutely fantastic.

Okay.

It also comes with a video

and this was sent in by a man called Mark Bartle

to the podcast email which is-

Podcast at autoelixcars.com.

There was a delay.

No, no, that was-

No, there was a delay.

That was just lag.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

I know this scene.

Yeah, my dad built her.

I have two horses and a Detroit muscle.

What?

It's a beast.

Notice you ran upon them.

No, what does she run?

Nine seconds flat.

What?

It's good, isn't it?

So what we're watching is the Fast and Furious scene

where Dom is basically showing him around the car,

but it's actually a Corsa.

But faded into the background.

Yeah.

It's good, isn't it?

They've spent a lot of time and effort on that.

Isn't that great?

And then he's even got pictures in there as well.

Oh, my God.

Oh, he's got a superimposed dog.

Isn't that brilliant?

Oh, look at him.

That's the faked Dom as well.

That's not a real Dom.

Does it make you want to buy it?

No.

I kind of.

Really?

Kind of.

You won't buy that?

I want to-

You won't buy that?

No, I won't buy it.

Okay, that's fine.

So it didn't make you want to buy it then?

No, but it kind of entices me to buy it.

Yeah.

If I wanted-

If I think you laugh about it, you wouldn't then go,

I'm going to buy that car.

If I wanted a Corsa, I'd go and buy that one.

But now we've shown everyone, people do want Corsas.

Maybe you should go out and buy that Corsa.

But I think that would work if it was an enthusiast car.

Yeah.

But let's face it, your average person buying a bog standard Corsa,

it probably won't even know who Dom is.

No, they'd probably go, that's funny, I want that one.

Yeah.

We'll find out.

Anyway, let's play this week's game of How Much That?

But before we do that, to shout out to this week's fantastic sponsor Shopify,

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Now, we've been using Shopify across all of our various brands for years now,

and it's genuinely helped revolutionize the business.

But don't only take my word for it,

because Rory, you are heavily, heavily involved in what we do on Shopify.

Why is it so good?

Why is it supercharged to the growth of the businesses?

Well, as you all know, Chris runs our merch business most of the time.

Yep.

And he's gone away on holiday, and Shopify is so easy to use

that I've just been able to hop on and just look at where we are,

and then we've been able to pack all of our stuff and then keep going.

We've even got new t-shirts that I've dropped this week,

which is the Oil Leap, but not excessive, selling out really well.

Oh, they are.

Yeah, we didn't realize they'd be such a big hit, but they are.

And then we've also got the Land Cruiser t-shirts,

which obviously go really well with Large Larry.

People love Large Larry.

Oh, yeah, we do love Large Larry.

But yeah, Shopify is just that easy to use.

It's really helped us launch our business.

Yeah, absolutely.

And also, Chris is on holiday in Cree with his girlfriend.

Yeah.

But he's still online.

He's still tapping into Shopify on the app,

and he's still helping create orders and also still selling stuff.

Yeah.

It's that easy.

So then if it's time for you guys to get serious about selling,

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And you can sign up for a £1 per month trial period

at Shopify.co.uk forward slash autoalex.

That's Shopify.co.uk forward slash autoalex.

This is Possibility Howard by Shopify.

So how much that?

So I've gone onto Google, a fast AI,

five cars.

How much were they at the time of sale?

Okay.

They were born.

All right.

Brand new.

RRP.

Yeah.

And then I've gone onto the Bank of England inflation calculator

to find out how much that is into today's money as well.

Let us get started with a 2003 Land Cruiser, aka Large Larry.

£65,000.

All right, Gandalf.

What happened there?

That was like, you know,

and you're putting in like an auction bid and you shout it out.

£55,000.

Okay.

You both are absolutely mental.

Because in 2003, that was £23,995.

What?

Is that it?

Yeah.

Starting for the manual version.

That's for nothing.

It is for nothing, which in today's money is £44,000.

I thought Land Cruisers were worth a fortune.

You can't get a Land Cruiser for £44,000 today.

No.

If you wanted to buy one now at £60,000.

Is it?

Yeah.

You were closest with £55,000.

You were more than double out, though.

Yeah, but I still won.

You still won.

Okay.

Next car.

1999 Honda NSX.

Taylor.

Gonte.

£67,000.

£70,000.

The answer is £59,000.

I won that.

With inflation, £113,000.

Wow.

Yeah.

Quite a lot.

Yeah.

I think they're worth what are they like?

£70,000 now.

Starting.

I think they're more than that now.

No, I think you can get them cheaper than that.

You can get them for about £50,000 or £60,000 for a bit of a shit.

Oh, okay.

Taylor, if you don't get this right, right,

then you have to leave immediately.

Because the next car, which you have to start with,

is a 1973 Austin Allegro.

Do you know my Austin Allegro that I used to own?

It was one of my favourite cars I've ever owned.

Yeah, but don't you own that again?

Yeah, I've agreed to buy it back.

I need to go and get it.

Okay, yeah.

That's been a while now.

Yeah, I need to go and pick it up.

£3,999.

Okay, Taylor.

£1,000.

The answer is £974.

With inflation, £9,200.

Wow, that's so cheap.

So you were going for like 40-odd grand.

Look, they were a premium vehicle back then.

No, that was the Van and Pla of premium.

Yeah, sorry, that's the model I was going for.

So the Van and Pla was £1,500.

What about that?

Yeah.

Do you know that?

I was still more than double out.

I don't like the Van and Pla.

I think the grille looks so out of place.

Oh really?

Yeah, I like the one that I had.

It was nice.

Okay.

And you know, my one that I had was identical to the one that they took on the Top Gear India Special

as the backup car.

Oh really?

So much so that I checked the reg.

Really?

Yeah, because it looked literally identical.

Question.

Why did so many...

Like what is Van and Pla?

Van and Pla is like their luxury version.

But why did so many different brands use the word Van and Pla?

British Leyland.

That was a British Leyland thing.

But Land Rover and Range Rover had Van and Pla?

British Leyland.

That was British Leyland.

Were they British Leyland?

Yeah.

Next car?

Well, you've won it anyway.

Congratulations.

I'm genius.

I'm very good at this game.

You're very good at this game.

Let's find out how good you are.

Can you get five out of five?

That's the question.

Let's see.

The next car is a 1982 Volvo 240.

I'm going to say

1982.

Yeah, for a Volvo 240.

Just a normal saloon.

£6,000.

£3,999.

The answer is £10,530.

That's quite a lot.

What?

£37,000 with inflation in 1982.

That's a lot.

That is a lot.

Can I just say?

Yeah.

For the first time in how much that history,

Yeah.

I've won a five out of five.

Isn't that one more?

No, because we've only done four.

Oh, have we?

Yeah.

Usually, you've picked it up as that being the fifth one.

No, he said, can you get a five out of five?

I'll carry on then.

I'll carry on.

Look, you may be able to guess them,

but at least I can count.

All right.

And the final car, and I'm going to say it,

winner takes all here.

Is this not £3,999?

No, winner doesn't take all.

Look, I'm the task master here.

Whatever.

All right.

Deal or no deal.

Yeah.

Are you happy with that?

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

The last car, but you have to be the first one to guess.

Yeah, Maury.

The last car is a Lexus LFA.

What was it?

2010.

I'm going to go £180.

£180?

Yeah.

Pounds?

£1,000.

£180,000.

All right.

£310,000.

Could Taylor be a five out of five?

The price for a 2010 Lexus LFA is £340,000.

Taylor wins it all.

Yeah.

Damn it.

With inflation, half a million quid.

That's nuts.

How much are they these days?

A lot.

A lot more than half a million quid.

Yeah, they're all worth a large sum.

So, Carrera GT or Lexus LFA.

So, was the LFA the one where it revs so quickly

that they had to put a digital rev gauge in?

Yes.

I think...

I know my answer straight away because it's my dream car.

On the basis that the lid comes off, I'd pick a Carrera GT.

Yeah.

Maury?

I'd pick a Carrera GT.

OK.

That's a correct answer.

Yeah.

And it's a manual as well.

It is a manual as well.

And it's got a little wooden gear knob.

It does, yeah.

But I do know an LFA.

An LFA.

And woo.

I mean, beggars can't be choosin'.

I'll take both, right?

Yeah.

I think the LFA sound is better.

Yes, I agree with that.

Yeah, I'll give you that as well.

Yeah, yeah.

If you've got either of those cars,

would you let us have a go?

Yes, please.

If you could just write in at podcast.autoletscars.com.

That one was pre-recorded.

Was it?

Yeah, it was.

Oh, you know what we need on the machine?

Yeah.

You know where we press the button?

No, we're not allowed to press the button.

People got really angry.

There was one thing on the trip that we didn't mention

that maybe we need to add to the sound board.

What?

It was on the way.

Have you got the clip?

On our trip.

There was a minor incident.

A minor incident?

Involving the shop.

On the ferry.

Which was then edited.

We flew DFDS this time.

We did.

So we put all the cars on the plane.

Because we didn't want to eat brake pads and brake discs for lunch.

And we were in the shop on the DFDS ferry having a little look

and Alex was looking at the Bluetooth speakers

because his car didn't have a stereo.

And he was crouched down looking at these speakers

and Tom Lempful gently parked his anus

on the back of Alex's head.

Yep.

And he put his hands on his hip.

Yep, lent over.

And out lurched from Tom Lempful's anus

was the clip that Rory

is about to provide.

It's frightened Alex so much

he yelled across the shop.

Yeah, I didn't know what was happening.

It's a gonna be shit.

Oh my God!

So that's obviously the edited version.

Ah!

Have you just recorded that?

Oh my God!

Have you just put that on the thing?

It's going through the Bluetooth.

Oh, wow.

OK, yeah, so that's also going to be in the video.

Tom Lennon thought giving me a pink eye, effectively.

It's good, isn't it?

It is good, yeah, it is good.

And that was right at the beginning of the trip.

I literally shot up, went, oh, my God!

And I just looked at about 20 or 30 people who were as scared as me.

They're going to be shocked.

Oh, my God!

Yep, that happened.

Fair play, Tom.

I'm all getting back.

Actually, he's left his luggage here as well.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you could clap on his.

You had so many opportunities to get him back,

but you didn't do anything.

No, I didn't.

I didn't.

I'm storing up the rage.

If you'd gone in there on the, like, maybe the last day

and just gone in, so Tom had these fans pointing at him

because it was his only method of calling,

and just gone in with a pair of scissors and snipped that wire.

That would have been such a power play,

but you didn't do anything.

No, no, I'm waiting.

I'm waiting for the next trip, which won't take long.

So, so far, Tom's now shit on you.

Yep.

He's shit in your Porsche.

Yes, there is a picture of him naked in my 993.

On a mug.

I think there was quite a few things he actually did

on this trip as well, though.

I think Tom just really hates me.

I mean, he does.

I tell you what, though, you're losing a battle dramatically.

It's quite funny.

But you know what?

I will win the war.

Do you know, it's so weird.

If this was anyone else, Alex is so competitive

and so like, I'm going to get you.

He would have been doing 10 times,

but with Tom, it's like, he's fine, he's old.

It's because he's so frail.

He's so frail.

Also, I will always have one thing over him.

You're younger.

That, too.

I'm 1.7 seconds faster than him on track.

Oh, oh, oh.

And I wasn't even trying.

Also.

Yeah, go on.

I am also faster than Tom.

You are, yeah, yeah.

By 0.2 seconds, as noted down by our professional climbers.

And I mentioned this on a podcast recently,

and I got a phone call from Tom Lentfall's brother,

and he said, I will uphold the Lentfall name

and challenge you to a race.

And I said, bring it on.

So Tom used to race motorbikes as well.

Tom has-

He still sort of does, doesn't he?

23, no, he's too frail.

But I don't know, 30 years of experience on motorbikes.

He is very fast.

He still goes on track days to Portimao and all those places.

And I have challenged Tom to a race on a motorbike.

If I can beat Tom on a motorbike,

I think that I'll actually finish him off.

I don't think I'd be able to survive.

No, I don't think you would.

But I will do everything to beat him.

Okay.

I will be on a track for a month solid,

just to get my best lap times,

and then I'll wait for him to come to the track,

and then I'll pass.

If you lose, you'll have no option but to shit on his head.

Yes. Yeah, I will.

That sounds like a fair reaction to it, yeah.

I don't think anyone could have planned like that.

It was beautiful.

It was stunning.

It was you, a crazy.

Sorry to everyone.

Oh my God!

The funny thing as well is I was looking at the Bluetooth speaker

and I said, is it going to be shit?

As I said the word shit, it actually came out of his bum.

And it was just so perfect.

Yeah.

Right, shall we move on?

Go on then.

Okay, right.

We've had an email from a man called Josh Turner,

and he wants our Keep or Quit advice.

And he says,

Hi guys.

First off, I want to say that I love the channel

and religiously listen to your podcast

on my long commute to work.

I have a, excuse me,

Keep or Quit question.

About two years ago,

I bought one of my dream cars, a 2013 Jaguar XKRS.

I've been enjoying it as a weekend toy

and occasionally taking it on track.

Every time I get in it,

it still manages to surprise me

and scare me a little bit with its 550 horsepower.

The flip side is that I do still have some finance on the car.

I rent a garage to store it

and with servicing and maintenance costs,

it isn't exactly cheap to own.

On top of that, tracking it obviously wears out the tires faster

and brakes, so it all adds up.

So here's where I am torn.

Although it's been reliable so far,

I can't shake the fear that one big repair

could drain my bank account.

Sometimes it feels like a bit crazy

to pour that much money into a car

I only use a few times a month.

But then again, every single time I get behind the wheel,

I fall back in love with it

and remember exactly why I bought it.

So what do you guys think?

Am I being irrational

and should just keep enjoying the dream

or is it smarter to cash out

before the big bills inevitably arrive?

Thanks a lot and keep up the amazing content,

Josh Turner.

What do we think?

Keep it.

Why?

Because those cars,

I really like those, by the way, the RS cars,

they're, I think, pretty much

at the bottom of their depreciation at the moment.

They are, you can get them relatively cheap.

So if he sells it,

probably won't get as much for it

from what he paid for it

unless he got it cheap.

But also the only thing that really goes wrong

with those major wise

is when they get to 100,000 miles,

they usually need a chain if they stretch.

Just a couple of grand, get it done

and then you should be good to go.

They're really good cars.

Do they have a baffled sump?

Probably not.

Well, I don't know, because I know quite a few people

that have taken those on track days

and never had an issue.

It's not the same engine that this table was made out of.

Yeah, I was just thinking, though.

Jaguar, do they really come with baffled sumps?

Something like that.

I think they're usually all right for a real starvation.

These ones not, which is why this is a table.

Yeah, this is a table, yeah.

But yeah, personally,

unless you're looking to buy a house or something,

just keep it and enjoy it

because you'll want to replace it

with something realistically.

And you might regret it.

If it's a nice one that you've had for a while

and that you trust and you enjoy it especially,

just keep it.

I would also agree.

Because I've done that in the past

like so many times where I'll sell a car

and I'm like, oh, I've got to get something else.

And that's why I go through cars

because I get the whole,

I want to try something else on board of it

and then I'll be like, oh,

I do kind of wish I still had that.

And one of them for me was my E92 M3s.

I had two of them and I love them both so dearly

and they were expensive to run,

you know, expensive to tax,

but fuel in, tires, brakes, everything

that did wear on me a bit.

And I was like, no, I'm going to sell it.

And I've done that twice

because I missed the first one so much.

I bought another one

and I still kind of miss them today.

But which is why I haven't sold my M5.

Because I know that when I sell that

I will replace it with something.

But for me, I really like my M5s.

What do you replace that with?

That's the thing.

The working one.

Oh, the only thing I'd replace that with

is a 911, really.

Oh, really? Okay.

Yeah.

Well, an old one or a new one?

A new one.

Probably get a 997.

Oh, okay, cool.

Turbo?

No, I couldn't afford a turbo.

They're like 50K.

But yeah, realistically,

you'll replace it with something else.

They're good cars.

As far as performance coupes go like that,

they're fairly reliable

and they're fantastic to look at

and they sound nice.

So just, I would just keep it.

And let's, as I say, you're looking by house.

I would also agree.

Also, if you do sell it,

like Taylor said,

you will want to buy something else

and that might be really unreliable.

Stick with what you know.

It gives you pleasure.

You don't use it that much.

So stick with what you know.

But also, like, if you sold it

and bought something a bit cheaper,

it wouldn't be quite the same.

And you'd still want to fulfill that whole,

you know, V8, whatever coupé.

And then if you replace it with another V8 coupé,

like an E92M3 or whatever,

it will be equally as expensive.

They are expensive.

As soon as you go V8,

you're going to be spending a lot.

Yeah, yeah.

They're all expensive.

There's no getting around it.

The larger engine you go,

whatever you get that, you know,

V2M5 is extortionately expensive.

As I discovered recently,

like working it all out,

that is the most expensive car I've ever owned.

How far is your M5 off from being finished?

Like ready to go back on?

Really not far.

Really?

Not far.

Yeah.

All I need to do is this Vanoss line on it

and then I'll be really happy with where it's at.

I will have to do a video, won't we?

M5 versus M5.

You're saying all I need to do is this Vanoss line

is equivalent to saying all I need to do

is just pop the engine in and out

and then it's in and out.

No, because it's not an engine out, Joel.

I've got to set a sump off

and then get to the Vanoss line.

It goes through the front of the engine.

The things I would love to do with that car,

genuinely dream,

I've spent so much money on that car now,

there's literally no point in me selling it

because I'd make a fair loss.

So I would love to fix the Vanoss issue

because I've never driven that car

with 500 horsepower.

The entire time I've owned that car,

it's been down about 150 horsepower.

Really? Bloody hell.

Which is, ever since I bought it,

I was like, it does feel fast

but it doesn't feel as fast as I thought it would be.

Ever since I bought it,

and this is why,

and it's only come to like recently,

it needs this Vanoss line.

So I'd love to fix that,

enjoy the 500 horsepower,

do the injectors

because they can stick open

and blow up the engine a little bit

and I really don't want that to happen.

So I'm going to do those.

That's only 200 quid to do that.

And then I would really love to get

a carbon intake for that car.

Oh.

And I want to put a valved exhaust on it

because it's too loud as it is.

And as much as I love the VA on,

you know, straight part flat out,

it sounds amazing

when I'm driving around town

and especially when I cold start it,

it's just too loud.

V10.

So, yeah, I want flappy in the exhaust

but the carbon intake for me

and a bit more power, mwah.

Yeah.

You know how you said

that your M5 feels slower

because it's down power?

My V8 E39 M5

feels faster than I expected it would be.

They are fast cars.

The surge of torque.

As soon as you put your foot flat on the throttle,

it just doesn't let up.

Yeah, there is something not quite right with yours

because it smells eggy through the exhaust.

So yours is running a bit rich.

Yeah.

So it's either a dodgy airflow meter

or it's a dodgy O2 sensor.

I'd just replace all of them.

But it's fantastically fast.

Also, it has no silences.

It is way too loud.

It is too loud, yeah.

Way, way, way too loud.

But I can tell you for now,

there's more power to be got from that car.

Even just by doing a few maintenance bits.

Oh, OK.

And I think you'll be surprised at how fast it could be.

Oh.

So we'll have to do a little road trip, won't we?

Yeah.

E39 M5 versus the E60 M5.

And you will see all of that on the V2 channel

if you're interested.

Like we said, did we say,

or were we speaking to Mike Ferney?

We were speaking to Mike Ferney

about what we're doing with channel stuff.

So main channel is going to be more of the road trips.

And then V2 is going to be buy car,

live with car,

and then either sell car or keep car.

I would love to.

Because we've got so much space in the paddock now.

We've got a lot.

So much space.

We don't.

Even you, Libmit, you look out there early.

It's looking barren.

It's bare.

You're forgetting.

There's quite a few cars out at the moment.

No, I saw a tumble we'd go past early.

Also, you just agreed to buy two.

Yeah, there's only two because they take up night.

They don't eat nothing.

Yeah, the Porsche's nothing.

One is on its way back now.

Oh, yeah, Mars is on its way back.

There's some going into storage this way.

And we still haven't got the KN, wherever that is.

That's never coming back.

Also, that's a TDC problem.

Yeah.

Do you know one day I would love to do a sort of a trip with my M5,

your M3 with a carbon intake and your Aston just for the noise.

Do like a noise trip.

But I would have to be in my V8.

I'd have to be in your V8.

But he's got a V8 as well.

So it'd be straight 6V10 and MVA.

My Aston does sound really good.

It sounds amazing.

Like I took that out and it does a little thing

when you sort of do a rev-match downshift.

It does a little...

It's a bit...

Wait, do it again?

It's quite aggressive.

It's quite nice.

That was good.

But you can get a carbon intake for them as well.

Yeah, they're cheap.

Are they?

I think it's probably cheaper than yours.

Mine, so mine all in is about four grand.

Three and a half.

But mine is large.

It's a full plenum and you get a good power.

Can you not get like an Alibaba one?

Mine isn't Alibaba.

Is it really?

And it's still three and a half grand.

Wow.

That's a lot.

But it does replace the whole...

Like when you open up the engine,

the whole skull bit on the front becomes carbon fibre

and then the intake's underneath.

What if instead of making it out of carbon fibre,

you've got someone like Rich's fabrication

to do one out of steel?

I don't want the steel.

But what would that sound like?

Would that sound good?

No, it might still sound good.

So the idea of the carbon one is that it's strong

but it's thin.

I know.

So you can hear that the steel wouldn't really

be thin.

Titanium.

No.

Yes, titanium is very thin.

That would be cheap.

That kitchen foil.

Oh, I like that.

Great, that's good.

That's good, yeah.

Wood.

Wood, plywood.

Wood, yes.

MDF, chipboard.

Love a bit of wood.

We've gone slightly off the subject.

But yeah, Josh, keep it cool.

Yeah.

Rory?

Keep your car, get rid of the garage.

What?

No, it doesn't need to be in a garage.

It doesn't need to be in a garage.

No, it's got to go away for the winter.

Keep it nice.

That doesn't need...

You can save a bit of money, get rid of the garage.

I keep mine.

Yeah, but the money that you would save,

you would have to spend on repairs

because it would go rusty.

Cars outside do not fare well during the winter.

Jags too.

Jags.

Terrible idea.

Just keep the car.

Don't listen to Rory.

Enjoy it.

Movehouse.

Another reason to keep it is there's only

so long that we can enjoy V8s for.

Yeah.

So just enjoy it for as long as you can.

Speaking of V8s, there's one more little car

that I want to add as well.

At some point.

Is it?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That's gone.

Hey.

Yeah.

Is it a Range Rover?

A V10?

I just said a V8, man.

Oh, V8.

Sorry.

Is it a Range?

Yes, it's a Range Rover.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Is it?

Yeah.

The best Range Rover in the world.

No.

No, it's a Range Rover Classic.

Oh.

But that 4.2 that I showed you in the room.

I really like that.

I really like that as well.

That colour was lovely.

It is very nice.

I really like that as well,

but I'm a bit all-free, two-toed out.

Yeah, I think the whole

everywhere I'm at home or whatever you're doing,

I think we all agree.

We're all L322.

Yeah, they're a bit...

I'm a bit like, okay, we've done it now.

Yeah.

Move on.

Piss off.

Yeah, piss off.

Do something new.

You say that.

Buy a BMW.

Oh, no, don't buy a BMW.

Do you know who's going to buy an L322 now?

Tom Lenthal?

Yeah.

Is he going to buy wheels?

I think he might buy wheels.

Really?

That was it.

Maybe we should show him

the one that I found on Facebook.

No, he wants a 4.4 facelift.

Does he?

Yeah, he wants a diesel.

Oh, yeah.

I think if I were to go for an L322,

it would be that something like that.

I've never seen that spec.

Do you know what?

I once drove, my mate Joe had a 5.0-litre

supercharged L322, and I was blown away.

Really?

Blown away.

It's the same engine as Josh's Jag.

Yeah.

So it's 500 horsepower in a house.

Yeah.

I was literally, the first time I went out on it,

I put my foot to the floor.

It squatted at the back.

It flew down the road,

and both of our jaws hit the rugs.

It was...

That's amazing.

Honestly, I was speechless.

And speaking of Land Rover as well,

I've just forgotten, right?

Blue Peter.

A massive shout out to Blue Peter,

our crew car, completely untested for us,

and we drove it all the way to Croatia,

and then Jamie and editor Mike

drove it all the way back.

Blue Peter was done 3,000 miles in the space of,

what, like seven days?

Yeah.

I think seven or eight days,

and he's here in the paddock looking majestic.

Yeah.

Any average, what, 22, 23mpg?

Which is terrible.

It is a bit weird.

At the moment, we have three working tow cars.

We do.

Yeah.

Usually we don't have one.

And a backup.

We've got my Tuareg,

just in case they all blow up at once again.

Golly, you know you're in trouble

when the backup car is a Tuareg.

Tuareg.

The V10 Tuareg.

I think, do you know what?

People say, like, they're unreliable.

I don't think they're unreliable.

I think they're actually really durable.

They're just really expensive to fix

when they do go wrong.

Like, to change the start.

So no one bothers keeping on top of maintenance.

Well, no, because to change the start,

I'm over here.

You've got to take the engine out.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh my God, that's such a bad design.

Do you have to change the start?

No, I'd luckily not at the moment.

But yeah, I think that's what people complain about,

is that it's not actually, they're quite durable.

I mean, mine's done 260,000 miles.

I would love to know how much money

has been spent on that car.

I will one day bring in the folder

that came with that car

and I will put my hand on my heart.

I've bought a lot of cars in my life.

I have never bought a car with this much paper.

Really?

Honestly.

Do you think if you had more money into that car,

you'd be getting rid of it quite sharpish?

What do you mean, like, modifying

or if it was a pain in the arse?

No, just the fact that, like,

because at the moment, if that car blows up,

it's for you, it's what, how much were you into it?

Oh, I paid $1,700.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not that much of a risk.

No, like, but if you had bought it for, say,

its actual value of, like, $7,000, $8,000,

would you be looking at selling it?

Well, it's not worth $7,000 or $8,000 on the mileage.

Do you mean, like, if I had a low mileage one

that I paid top dollar for?

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know, because I do really like,

the only way to describe that car,

it's like a diesel Porsche Cayenne.

Really?

So it's got the good bits of a Cayenne,

but if you drive it easy, it can be economical.

So it's like the best of both worlds,

and I really like that chassis.

I love the way they drive.

They drive so well, because it's an SUV,

but it drives well.

You can, like, throw it about a bit,

and it feels solid.

Mine does need quite a lot of love,

which I'm going to do soon,

but yeah, genuinely, probably my favourite SUV I've ever had.

Fantastic.

Which is why I've still got it,

and it's shit.

Don't get me wrong, it is currently shit.

It needs a lot of work,

but I've still got it, and I love it.

Nice.

And also, shout out to Large Larry,

because he now has a tow bar on him.

He does.

You put that on, you put the bolts from Helfers today,

so he is good to go as a crew car and as a tow car.

So yeah, we're looking forward to life

with Large Larry as well.

Yeah, I actually took him to the shops earlier.

You did, didn't you?

I might, I was actually going to ask,

can I take him home at some point?

Because I just like driving him.

You want to float about in him?

Yeah.

I just like driving him.

He's a tank, isn't he?

Yeah.

He just float about like this.

Yeah.

And it all just goes like this.

He just walks about, yeah, yeah.

It doesn't encourage you to drive quickly

in any way, shape, or form.

No.

I've got to admit, there's a few cars

that I think when we do these challenges,

I'm like, get rid of, get rid of.

But there's some like Dell and like Large Larry

that they just sort of stick around.

They're family, aren't they?

You know, whenever I'm looking at the car park

and I'm like, go, that needs to go, that needs to,

I never look at Dell and go, that needs to go.

Good, good.

I'm just like, yeah, that's there.

There's something about Dell,

he's not really the best car ever,

like so slow in that bloody gearbox.

So awful.

But I just, do you remember that time at Shedfest

when I drove us back to Hotel and Dell

and we got in and we were like, oh, I do like Dell.

Because we had a lot of fun driving

all the way to Shimonix as well.

Yeah.

And it was just good memories.

He literally inside smells like sweaty balls

and gym bags and it smells in that car.

I don't know why, but it's just,

there's something about it.

It's just got a charm.

So much character.

Maybe it's the sweaty balls.

It really just draws me in.

Does it really?

Yeah, okay, yeah.

It's just such a charming vehicle.

So yeah, we still need to tart him up.

We'll do that on the V2 as well.

We do.

Yeah, yeah.

We've got a lot of cool laser lights to go on

and a few bits and bobs.

Tart him up, maybe a little lift kit,

maybe widen the stance a little bit

and a few other little bits and bobs.

But yeah, we've got really loads of cool stuff coming up.

We are literally working flat out.

Yeah, every single day.

We've been really, really busy.

Tomorrow I'm taking a day off

for Amelia's birthday.

So that's going to be cool.

Probably go to Hugh Gardens or so.

And then straight back into it

with the French Hot Hatch series as well,

which is super, super exciting.

Really exciting.

And a few weeks we're going to be

going on a massive road trip again.

Yeah.

All the way to Monaco,

French Riviera, all that kind of stuff.

And then a couple of weeks after that,

we're going on a massive road trip again.

Dreamcars, who knows.

Yeah.

And I am really looking forward

to getting the 993 out.

I've been thinking about this

more and more and more and more.

I don't know what.

I think I'm really looking forward to you

getting out in the 993

and doing a proper road trip in there.

I just feel like you haven't had a chance

to fully experience it.

I've not really bonded with it.

And it just looks so cool.

And to see that out on the roads,

I'm just going to be over the moon.

I'm actually with its new wheels,

its suspension.

And then I think maybe at some point

we probably need to do a garage update.

Yeah.

Because quite a lot has changed

and there's been a few people asking

for a garage update

and we've got quite a lot of

nice new shit floating around as well.

We've got a lot of bloody cars.

We do, yeah.

Like between us,

not just the Alto Alex cars,

between us, like personal cars as well,

we've got a lot of cars.

A lot of cars, but a lot of cool shit as well.

Yeah.

A lot of cool shit.

Yeah.

Anyway, we're going to call it there

because I need to go home

and I need to probably pump up some balloons

and stuff like that

and have a very wholesome day tomorrow.

Hope you guys have enjoyed listening

and watching with your iron ear holes.

Please remember to like and subscribe.

And also if you want to write in for some advice

or just, I don't know,

just say hello to us.

You can do that at podcasts at autoaxcars.com.

And yeah, we will see you next time

on the Alto Alex Podcast.

Thank you very much again.

Whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability

and we'll see you next time.

Goodbye.

Bye.

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S2 Ep17: Italian Police Fined Me For 'Modifying' My Car!

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