The Renault Wind is a small car from Renault that’s designed for driving with the top down. It’s meant to be compact and easy to use day to day, while still giving you an open-air feel. If it’s mentioned in a podcast, it may be because the name and the idea of “wind” match the scene.
The Ford Edge is a family-sized SUV that’s meant for normal daily driving. It has room for passengers and cargo, and it’s built to be comfortable. The podcast may mention it just because the name “Edge” fits the story.
Term
serving hatch
A serving hatch is a small door/opening that you can use to hand things through. Here, the host is pointing out that it’s placed high up for a reason related to how the vehicle is built.
The host is talking about how the vehicle is built—where the main body sits relative to the chassis and the stuff underneath. It’s basically about the layout of the vehicle, not a normal “car feature” term.
A false floor is a second floor inside the vehicle. It creates hidden space underneath so the vehicle can fit extra equipment without it being in the way.
Idling means the engine is on, but the car isn’t moving. Running for a long time can stress the engine because it isn’t getting normal driving “exercise.”
A 300-liter diesel tank is a huge fuel tank. The point being made is that it’s big enough to keep the engine running for days without refueling.
Term
B&W police cars
The host is talking about a past set of police cars that had an engine problem. The main takeaway is that the cars were idling a lot, which contributed to the issue.
The Sierra 3 Doors is a version of the Ford Sierra that has three doors instead of five. It’s a car model that people sometimes collect or talk about because some versions are rarer or more desirable. In the podcast, it’s probably mentioned to clarify what kind of Sierra is being discussed.
Grimsthorpe Castle is a stately-home venue in Lincolnshire, England, used for events where classic cars are displayed. In this segment, it’s the setting for a traditional car show atmosphere—classic cars lined up in front of a historic building.
A “Ferrari 275” is a very famous older Ferrari from the 1960s. It’s a rare, desirable classic, and people bring them out because they’re special and recognizable.
That’s the name of a quiz game the hosts do on the show. It’s probably car-themed and meant to be fun rather than technical.
Term
100 miles on the road
That “100 miles” is basically a test drive after the car has been worked on. They want to make sure nothing is wrong and that adjustments are right before you take it out properly.
Porsche is a famous car brand that makes sporty, performance cars. In this bit, it’s part of a playful story about someone changing which brand they like.
Saab is a car brand with a dedicated group of fans. The host is joking about someone becoming a “Saab loyalist,” meaning they’d strongly prefer Saab cars instead of Porsche.
Mileage means how far the car has been driven. Lower mileage for an older car usually sounds better because it may mean less wear, but you still have to check the condition.
A turbo is a device that helps the engine make more power by forcing extra air into it. When they say it’s not a turbo, they mean it’s the non-boosted version rather than the more powerful one.
This is an event idea that celebrates everyday or overlooked cars instead of only super rare or super expensive ones. They’re saying this Saab 99 would fit right in.
“Saloon” is a British term for a sedan: a car with a separate trunk and a three-box body shape (engine bay, passenger cabin, trunk). In this discussion, the hosts contrast the saloon’s styling with the hatchback’s practicality.
A “five speed box” means the car has five gears. That can make it feel more engaging to drive, especially compared with cars that only have fewer gears.
A “rev counter” is the RPM gauge that shows how fast the engine is spinning. It’s often considered more “sporty” because it helps you drive with the engine’s power band in mind.
A horizontal axis describes the direction an actuator moves relative to the car’s body—here, the headlight washer blade moving left/right. The host contrasts this with a different motion pattern (an arcing sweep) to explain how the mechanism works.
A cam is a mechanical part with a specific shape that makes another part move in a controlled way. The host thinks the washer motion is guided by a cam so it sweeps correctly.
Term
steam engine piston drive system
A steam engine piston system is an old-school machine where a piston moves back and forth to create motion. The host is comparing the washer’s movement to that kind of back-and-forth mechanical feel.
The BMW E30 is a well-known older BMW 3 Series. Here they mention an E30 with twin turbos, meaning it’s been modified to use two turbochargers to make more power.
“Group II” refers to a specific set of racing rules from the past. If a car is a “Group II touring car,” it means it was built to compete under those rules.
The Ford Capri RS 2600 is a sporty version of the old Capri. “Group II” is a specific set of racing rules from the past, so a “Group II touring car” means it’s a race-prepped Capri built to those rules.
The Lancia Delta is a rally car that’s well known for racing success. “Martini” here is the team branding/livery, so they’re talking about a Delta racing team in that style.
Car
Saab
Saab is a Swedish car brand. The hosts are saying they like this Saab because it feels straightforward and practical, not showy.
An electric charger is what you plug into to charge an EV’s battery. The host is saying they had to help someone because the charger wouldn’t work for their car.
The Dodge Charger is a car made by Dodge that’s built for strong acceleration and a sporty feel. People may bring it up because the word “charger” can also mean charging a device or an electric car. That can make the name sound familiar even if you’re talking about something else.
Right-hand drive production means building vehicles with the steering wheel on the right side, which is required for countries like the UK. The host is saying the UK-spec Twingo won’t be produced until later, which affects when UK pricing and availability can be announced.
A movable back seat means the rear seats can slide or move to make more room for either people or luggage. The host thinks it’s a useful feature that costs money to include.
Boot space is the amount of storage room in the car’s rear cargo area (the trunk). It’s a key part of how small cars stay practical, since you can often increase it by moving seats forward or changing how the rear bench folds.
These paddles let you choose how strongly the car slows down when you lift off the accelerator. That slowing action also helps recharge the battery, so you waste less energy.
Metal flake is a type of car paint that includes tiny shiny particles. It makes the color look more sparkly and “alive” in bright light.
Concept
constant battle between design and engineering and finance
Car companies often have disagreements between the people who design how the car looks, the engineers who make it work, and the finance teams who control costs. This segment says that push-and-pull is a constant part of building cars.
“Big wheels” means larger-diameter wheels. They can make a car look sportier, but they also usually mean different tires that can cost more, which is why the budget side gets involved.
“16 inch” means 16-inch wheels. They’re using it as the cheaper reference point so the company can keep tire costs from jumping when moving to larger wheels.
A hard button is a real physical button or knob you can press or turn. The point here is that the car puts the everyday controls on buttons so you don’t have to hunt through menus on the screen.
Driver assistance refers to automated safety and convenience features that help the driver, such as lane keeping and speed-related alerts. These systems typically rely on sensors and cameras to monitor the road and then intervene or warn you when needed.
Speed warning is when the car alerts you that you’re going too fast. It’s typically based on what speed limit the car thinks you’re near.
Term
A and B roads
In the UK, roads are grouped by how important they are. A-roads are usually bigger/faster routes, while B-roads are smaller—so they’re the kind of roads where you might drive more enthusiastically.
A “stroker” is an engine that’s been set up to have a longer piston stroke. That usually makes it feel punchier, and here they’re comparing the driving style to that kind of strong, torque-like pull.
“Battery life” means how long the car’s battery stays healthy. If you drive in a way that makes the battery work harder—often by generating more heat—it can wear the battery down faster over time.
A “charging opportunity” is a time during your trip when it makes sense to stop and plug in. Instead of charging only at the last minute, you charge while you’re already stopping for other reasons.
A “fast charger” is a charger that can put a lot of power into an EV quickly. But the car has to be able to take that power—otherwise it won’t charge as fast as the station can provide.
“Built in cooling” means the car actively manages the battery temperature. If the battery can’t be cooled well while charging, the car has to reduce charging speed to avoid overheating.
“50 kilowatts” is how much charging power the car can accept at most. Higher kW usually means faster charging, so a 50 kW cap limits how quickly you can top up.
“Sophisticated cooling capacity” is how well the battery can stay cool when you’re charging it hard. If it can’t remove heat effectively, the car slows charging to protect the battery.
It’s a way to measure how efficiently an electric car uses electricity. It compares how far the car can go for each unit of energy stored in the battery. Bigger numbers usually mean better efficiency.
Friction braking is the normal kind of braking: pads squeeze onto a disc to slow the car down. On electric cars, it may team up with regenerative braking, and the way they switch can change how smooth the pedal feels.
“Lurching” is when the car slows down in a jerky, uneven way instead of smoothly. The host is saying the car’s braking transition feels more controlled.
Electric power steering uses a motor to help you turn the wheel. Some modern setups feel a bit disconnected from the road, so the host is impressed that this one still gives steering feedback.
A “Strimer engine” here means the motor unit from a Ryobi string trimmer. They’re saying you might be able to buy just the motor part, but not the long pole (shaft) or the cutting head.
On a string trimmer, the shaft is the long part that reaches from the motor to the cutting head. They’re saying the engine-only piece doesn’t include that long section.
Term
plinths
A plinth is basically a stand or base you put something on for display. They’re talking about the cost of those stands for their setup.
A “factory Cobra” is a real, authentic Shelby Cobra built the way the original factory did it. People care because it’s harder to find than replicas, and it usually means the car is closer to the original design.
“Nut and bolt” restoration means the car gets taken apart completely, like down to individual parts. Then it’s rebuilt carefully, usually aiming to make it look and feel like it did when it was new.
This is Lamborghini’s own classic-car restoration team. When a car is restored by the manufacturer’s historic program, it usually means the work is more authentic and carefully done.
Term
paperwork spread out on the bonnet
In classic-car collecting, having documentation (like original receipts and service records) is a major part of proving authenticity and history. Spreading it out on the bonnet is a visual way to show the car’s provenance to buyers or enthusiasts.
The Lotus Esprit is a sports car made by Lotus, designed to be fun to drive and look distinctive. It’s known for being a more “enthusiast” type of car, so people often talk about finding the right one. If you’re hearing about it on a podcast, it’s usually because someone wants to own or learn about that specific model.
This is a very old, very famous Ferrari—one of the classic “grand touring” cars. It’s known for a powerful V12 engine and is now a big collector’s item.
The MGC is an MG sports car from the classic era. Here it’s mentioned because it has overheating problems, which is a common issue people worry about on older cars.
“Overheating problems” means the engine runs too hot. That usually happens when the car’s cooling system can’t move heat away properly, and it’s something you want checked before you drive it hard.
Car
Bugatti Royale
The Bugatti Royale is a legendary, ultra-luxury Bugatti from the 1920s, famous for its enormous size and status as a “king of the road” type of car. It’s referenced here as a symbol of extreme wealth and rarity—something so over-the-top that it contrasts with the Ferrari 275 GT.
A gearbox is the part of the car that helps the engine deliver power at the right speed. If someone says the gearbox is difficult, they usually mean shifting gears feels awkward or hard to manage.
Craigslist is a website where people post ads for things they want to sell. Here, it’s mentioned as where the car listing appeared.
Term
buyer must collect within four hours
A “must collect” time limit is a seller-imposed pickup deadline that forces the buyer to come quickly, often to reduce hassle or risk. For high-demand or high-value listings, short pickup windows can create urgency and limit the chance of the car being tied up.
Car
Kia Pride
A Kia Pride is an older, small Kia car. Here, it matters because the story is about finding one that’s been stored away for a long time—basically a forgotten car that might still be saved.
A barn find is an old car that’s been sitting unused in a barn for years. People get excited because it might be rare or still mostly original, but it usually needs repairs before it can drive again.
Car
Subaru
Subaru is a car brand from Japan. Here, they’re saying the barn find is a Subaru, but they don’t specify which model yet.
Wayne Carini is a famous classic-car expert and TV personality. In the story, he hears about a rare car and comes over fast to get it.
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I'm Johnny Smith.
I'm your reporter.
And this is Smith & Sniff, a podcast in which two friends talk about cars and many other things.
Ice cream vans.
Yes.
They're emblematic of UK summer, aren't they, I think?
They are.
I've seen a shed load of them recently, as you can imagine, because it's hot.
Has anyone ever got to the bottom of the Disney characters depicted on the side of them?
It's always slightly wrong proportioned Disney people.
Yes.
Don't wish to speak ill of the Disney people, but they do look wrong.
I feel like they often go for not the obvious.
They might just have like thumper from Bambi or something.
Yeah.
And it's not quite right.
No.
The proportions, like you say.
The proportions are off.
No.
Do you think it's the same artist that does, you know, a sort of really off depiction of
Damon Hill on some dodgims at a fairground?
I do.
You know, on the side of the thing.
They'd be like, you just go, is that?
Is that Damon Hill?
Is that Damon Hill?
Or was he horrifically injured with a bat?
Oh, I see.
It's just a drawing.
Good for you.
Damon himself is fine.
But I think, yeah.
I think, do you know what it is?
I think it's because the artist is under pressure by the ice cream man people.
Oh, because time is money.
Because they're never off service, ever.
No.
Everything's melting.
Get a move on.
They've got to paint Bluto and, I don't know, Miss Piggy.
Not Miss Piggy.
What's the pig?
What's the Disney pig?
Disney Pig.
Porky.
Porky Pig.
They've got to paint Porky Pig on the side.
Whilst the van is up on blocks, having its oil changed, because it's out in the next
hour and a half, back on the streets, despite it being water.
Well, that's, I was going to say, obviously an ice cream van is very, it's a, it's a classic
sign of a British summer.
However, don't you find sometimes it'll be like October and suddenly drifting on a
chill wind, you'll hear the off key version of green sleeves or something.
And you'll go, ice cream van out.
And there's something.
And of course, naturally, your kids go, yeah, can we have an ice cream?
You go, no.
It's four degrees outside.
You don't want an ice cream, but it's sort of something depressing.
But at the same time, in a weird way, it sort of defines the plucky British spirit of sort
of, it's the same as having a barbecue in a howling gale and a Thai food.
And just going, no, it'll be fine.
Everybody just stay in the kitchen.
I'll go ahead and make you some damp burgers.
There's sort of, it speaks something that does pass the British character that just
goes, it's sort of willfully pretending everything's fine when it isn't.
And it's like, do you know, I think it's, it's like having an ice cream on a beach when
there is a very, very firm storm going on.
And you just think, this is totally wrong.
You're now going to have a sandy chalk ice or whatever it is.
It'll just be gritty.
Nobody wants this.
Yes.
Nobody wants this.
But the reason why I was pondering about the bad Disney characters, because is this something
we don't know about?
Like, are Disney characters secret lactose druggies?
Do you think there's something to do with it there?
They're just all about that.
They're just, they're obsessed with whippy cream.
And they just follow, like zombies, they follow the ice cream burns because they want to
slap at the cream.
Or are they like my son who is slightly lactose intolerant?
As we've subsequently found out and some tests have confirmed.
Yeah.
Didn't really know the spheres, but he does still like an ice cream.
But if he has too much ice cream, it has a bad effect on him.
And I, when we weren't sure if he definitely was lactose intolerant, I bought him an enormous
Mr Whippy from an ice cream van on a beautiful day in a lovely park.
And then he shat himself.
It took the edge off the lovely day in the lovely park a little bit.
But you know, that's the thing.
He had a Mr Whippy and then he did a Mr Whippy.
Yeah.
Basically, yes.
Okay.
Yes.
That's the gist of it.
Oh no.
That's sad.
But that's the thing.
Lactose intolerant is a cruel thing or it can be.
So maybe those Disney characters are in fact lactose intolerant, but they can't resist the
ice cream.
So they are, you know, they're gluttons for punishment.
They are.
They aren't, they're the weirdos.
Is it like we, we used to do the Gareth Jones on Speed podcast at Gareth's house.
Yeah.
I remember.
And we, we had a, we had a routine, which was that Zarg and I would arrive.
Gareth would order us all pizza and we'd sit around his kitchen table and we'd eat
pizza and we'd have a little catch up and a chat and discuss what we were going to talk
about in the show.
And then we'd finish our pizza and we'd go and start recording.
And it was, it was only, I mean, quite a few years into doing this that Gareth admitted
that he is in fact slightly lactose intolerant.
And there was sufficient cheese on the pizza that he would eat that this would sort of
interfere with his belly.
So this was why pretty much every recording session towards the end, he would have catastrophic
farts.
I'd never made the link because I'm not lactose intolerant.
I don't understand how it works.
But yeah, he would, he told me this.
And it was like, you know, we've been doing this show for like five years.
I was like, why don't we get something else other than pizza?
And he went, no, because that's our tradition.
Isn't it?
We always get pizza.
I like pizza.
It's just, it doesn't like me very much.
So we just sort of lived with the, with the farts.
But yeah, well, he was actually given a bit of a rumbly belly by the pre-show food.
The, the terrible Disney characters aside and the absolute stench of diesel when they're
sitting there idling for eight hours.
A stench of diesel.
Yes.
I walked past one the other day and the smell, the haze around the Disney strewn tired looking
back.
I have to say though, the thing that always confused me was at the back, they would often
write, watch that child exclamation mark.
Yes.
Okay.
To me, as a, a young lad, it didn't really explain the gist of what they were
trying to get across.
Does that mean just staring at children?
Cause that's not right.
No.
Should it mean like beware children crossing or was it not mind that child?
Yes.
Mind that child.
It almost feels like it's, it's not to drive it.
But that's child minding.
Yes.
Well, exactly.
But it's like, it is just that slogan feels like it's addressed to parents and or carers.
Yes.
Mind that child.
Mind your child.
Look after your child.
You know, don't, don't just turn your back cause you're eating a cabri's, a wall's feast
or whatever.
They're just, um, you've got to keep an eye on them.
But so it's not really to drive us so much.
I suppose it is in a way.
I don't know.
It's also, you think that in a, a job like that, and if the ice cream van was in fact a
cafe and just sat there in the park permanently, the ice cream would be served.
By probably a teenager just earning a few quid over weekends and things.
But I suppose because the job of ice cream van operative also involves driving the van.
Yeah.
Maybe it'd be hard to get a teenager insured on that.
Yeah.
And the vans are expensive.
Well, I suppose if you're an owner operator, it's not just like you're just there as a
hired hand.
It is your, your business.
So that's why ice cream funds always seem to be run by slightly surly men in their 50s.
Don't they?
And I, it's, it's sort of incongruous in a way.
Some of them are pleasant and friendly.
Some of them are downright surly.
And, and it's like you're a bloody inconvenience trying to buy some ice cream.
Yeah.
And you can also have a combination of the two.
There's what, there's a really jolly chap locally to us, but he looks quite, um, he looks
quite scary because he's got no teeth.
So, uh, he's because of the ice cream.
I think he's obsessed with ice cream.
I don't know, but he serves the, uh, the, the whippy, the flake to you and smiles, but
there's no teeth.
So that's, that's just been drinking the raspberry sauce straight from the bottle between, between
serving people or just eating those sprinkles with a spoon, like with a teaspoon.
Just go, what can I get you mate?
I'm going to say, he's just like scoffing sugary things relentlessly all day.
And then he's gone, oh, I've chased the four though.
That's, that's completely what's happened.
Well, here's another thing.
Why is the serving hatch so high?
There's a thing aimed at, because when children reach a certain age, you can send them to
the ice cream van on their own.
You know, he's a sweaty palm gripping money with excitement.
And they can go and get their own ice cream.
Our kids do that now in environments where, you know, we'll still mind that child by
keeping a watch from afar, maybe, but, but they go up for a kid.
You might as well be trying to buy an ice cream for like the sixth floor of a tower
block while you're standing on the ground.
Excuse me, mister.
Can I have an ice cream, please?
Why is it because they're, they're chassis caps.
And so it's designed to have a body on the back.
There's a false floor with lots of machinery underneath.
Well, I wonder whether they had a long range fuel tank, not for range, but for idling
for days on it.
For idling.
So it's got a 300 liter diesel tank to just idle itself to death.
You remember when those B&W police cars, they had an issue, the engines were shitting
themselves basically because of a very, as it turns out, a very specific circumstance
that only police cars would be in, which was idling for a long period of time.
And then when the engine is very warm, but very idled and not exercised, then suddenly
having to like red line it in a high speed pursuit situation.
Full acceleration.
And it was those two things would cause bad, bad problems with those engines.
They would.
But I'm curious that they, surely the ice cream van, I mean, I know they don't red
line it in pursuit of some crimps, but long period of idling.
No, there are wars though.
There are ice cream van wars as we've talked about before.
That's the thing.
Yeah.
Wasn't that Bill Forsythe film Comfort and Joy, isn't it?
The Glasgow ice cream van wars.
Yeah.
A part of that movie.
Yeah.
So.
I probably mentioned before that notorious serial killer Fred West, he used to be an ice
cream man in Scotland.
What?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
He used to be an ice cream man.
Never knew that.
He used to be an ice cream man in Scotland.
And please verify this.
If my memory is incorrect, but I'm pretty sure he knocked a kid down and killed them and then
moved from Scotland to Gloucestershire.
And I think that there was often speculation as to whether he intentionally did it.
Dark.
Quite dark.
Yeah.
I'm not going to start researching Fred West during a podcast.
No.
Please don't.
But we'll keep it light.
The reason why I brought up ice cream vans is because there's just been everywhere.
They've been following me like wasps recently.
And yesterday actually was, or it was in this region, flant day.
And I know how much you liked flant.
Yeah.
It was flant season.
No flants down here yet.
We must be on a different flant schedule.
And so I was outside with my lad, Wesson, who's just got his electric motorbike this week
and he was assembling it and we had a shake down on it.
And suddenly I realized I had flants all over my feet and flying into my head and then
landing on my head.
And it made me realize, instead of just getting cross with them, I sat a few pages away from
where they were emerging from and thought to myself, what must this feel like?
You're a land-dwelling creature who's just suddenly got the opportunity to fly.
You don't even know how to do it.
You've got no idea.
Is that why they're always sort of landing on you during the flant days?
Yeah.
Because their shit are flying.
Yeah.
Because the flant got to grips with it.
Completely.
They've taken off and gone, this is amazing.
So really what it is, it reminded me of probably World War I by planes where planes were a
bit rickety and the rules of flying and aeronautical history and know-how were still in its infancy.
So therefore there was probably a lot of very basic note-swapping going on.
And at the end of the day, it's like, well, just try it.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
Just try it.
Go down there into the headwind, pull up, let's see what happens.
And they sort of skate around and it just sounds like someone's chasing you with a trombone,
doesn't it?
Most of the time.
There must be somebody just, I mean, by definition, there must have been a point that was the
first person ever to do a loop-the-loop.
Oh, bloody hell.
Imagine being that person and just going, I've just got away with that.
Better stroke a leg, might try it again.
And then they perished.
But I went to an air show, the Duxford Air Museum in Cambridge with my lad a few years
ago.
And we didn't actually go into the air show.
There's a local primary school that with the blessing of the show, you pay them, I can't
remember, like 10 quid or something to go and park in the grounds of the school, which
is just at the end of the runway.
And you can watch the action from there and all the money goes to the school.
So it's for a worthy cause.
The air show people, because it always sells out anyway, they have to endorse it.
Because otherwise, you know, they quite strictly police the parking in the lanes around there
for obvious reasons.
So, but this is legit.
And we discovered this and we're like, oh, it's brilliant.
That's a great idea.
So we did that.
And then, but you're sort of slightly back from the action, but it's quite interesting.
An old First World War plane went overhead, but I didn't even hear it coming.
It was really low, but that's, it was so quiet.
And I saw just glanced up and went, this thing, this, you know, like, look like a drying rack
with an engine on it.
And it's, um, and it was eerily quiet.
That's amazing.
I mean, obviously, if you were in the trenches and the psalm or something, you know, one
of those just suddenly whispered overhead.
I mean, it was so low, you could shoot at it, but maybe you wouldn't have the chance before
they just sort of dropped a bomb on you.
But like a small handheld bomb, like just a little, I think it was milk bottle full of
kerosene or something.
Wouldn't it?
Yeah, exactly.
But yeah, no, I was amazed at how quietly we were.
And just it was also how slowly it was moving across the sky.
It'd be a satchel full of flying, flying ants, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
And it will land on you and burst open.
And the ants were so annoyed.
So the whole, the whole war effort was mild annoyance rather than just killing and mailing.
Yeah.
I'm, sir, I'm afraid we have run out of the materials needed to make bombs, but don't
worry.
The chaps in the flying corps, they're just going to drop glitter on the Germans.
We're going to annoy them into submission.
Ah, shit.
Or I took my boy for a haircut the other day and then we're in the car on the way back
and you know when you've had a haircut and there's lots of little bits of hair are still
coming out of your hair.
Hair.
Because he was, he kept going and shaking his head and going, oh, that's the hair and
he was just getting it all over the car.
And I was like, please stop doing that.
Can you wait till you get home and just kind of a shower or something?
Because there's going to be little hairs all over the car now, which there is.
And again, it's like it's not the end of the world, but it is slightly annoying.
And I just thought, you know, just drop, drop hair because the soldiers need short hair
usually.
They do.
So the battalion barber, instead of throwing all the hair in the bin, give it to the flying
corps.
They can drop it into the enemy trenches and everyone's just going, oh, no.
It's particularly on a hot day, a sweaty day.
And then you have a human hair dropped on you.
I think everyone would just immediately, you just get thousands of deserters that just
go, no, I'm not fighting anymore because I feel revolting.
I've got someone else's hair stuck to my skin.
I've got to go and have a shower.
Anyway, I don't know how we got here.
Well, look, listen, less about the flying ants and hair and World War One planes action.
But talking as you were about ice cream vans.
Yes.
Of course, it is the British summertime.
Yes.
What does the British summertime mean?
But faster of the unexceptional.
Naturally.
Which I think against some very stiff competition is my favorite car show of the year.
It's an amazing car show.
It is.
Amazing show.
Just like a really, really good atmosphere, very laid back, very fun.
I'd say sort of a, even by the standards of other car shows are particularly sort of friendly,
laid back atmosphere.
And then these cars, which, you know, if you're into such things, stuff that used to be all
over the place and now just isn't, you know, like sort of a basic Sierra.
And also.
I saw one.
Did you?
I saw one on a trailer yesterday driving back from Somerset.
True to its tradition of me seeing 80s Fords when I go into Somerset.
I saw an escort cabriolet.
But I also saw a three door early pre facelift Sierra covered in dust on a trailer.
Oh, well, maybe it was going to be dusted down to go to photo because, you know, I love their
policies.
If you have a Sierra Cosworth, no, I'm sorry.
That's too exceptional.
No, you can go in the punters car part.
But if you said I've got a 1.6 L, get in there on the main field and allow other people to
come and stare at it.
So I just want to say it's on the 25th of July.
It's Saturday.
It's basically a whole day people turn up.
That early to just enjoy the treasures because part of the fun of it actually for me is getting
there in plenty of time so that you can then watch stuff coming in.
It's a place called Grimsthorpe Castle in Lincolnshire.
So it's a it's a stately home.
And part of it is that it's the kind of venue where you would have a very trad sort of car
show and there'd be a row of E types and some Ferrari 275 or something.
But no, in fact, there's an immaculate maestro and a fear regatta in front of this grand old
hall.
So it's a fabulous juxtaposition of things, but it's just a fabulous show and we will
be there.
We're on stage doing some chat.
We're going to do our Wheel Trim of Misfortune quiz again.
We're going to do a few other bits and pieces as well.
But they also have other stuff on the stage that's better than we are a more professional
including a band for a couple of times during the day.
It's a fabulous day out.
I'm saying this as if I haven't actually checked that it hasn't sold out, but I don't think it has just yet.
So go to the Hagerty website, Hagerty.co.uk, follow the links first within exceptional.
You can still buy a ticket.
Come and see us doing our thing, but also come and just have a day of enjoying some brilliant
and willfully ordinary, but rather fantastic cars.
You might just remind me that I must check that our sales are finished on the Eagle Quest.
Oh, yes.
Because that will be attending having had its summer body ready for the season.
Now, I was going to bring my Metro Turbo, the chaps at the Den.
I think I've mentioned before that they are, well, they make perfectionists look sloppy.
They are the perfectionists, perfectionists.
And so they said, we don't want to hand over the car to you until we've done at least 100 miles on the road in it.
Just to make sure it's absolutely tickety boo.
And they found a couple of little things that just needed adjusting or making rights.
So the Metro may yet be ready, but I think a Metro Turbo is too exceptional.
It is really rich, I'm sorry to say.
And I would feel churlish, you know, if it was a Metro City or Metrocity, as I often see that in my head.
Obviously driving, I've got a Metrocity.
But yeah, Turbo feels busy.
I may have sorted something else, though, that I think fits the bill for an exceptionalness.
Okay.
So watch this space.
But anyway, yeah, 25th of July is a Saturday in like two weeks time.
So yeah, hope to see some of you there.
We will definitely be there at the front on the stage talking bobbins.
Well, that brings me seamlessly on to our lovely friends at carandclassic.com.
You see, they're sponsors of this channel.
And my job this week is to choose Richard a vehicle that I will buy him in an imaginary sense.
But I've chosen a vehicle that would be that what I think would be front runner at Fest of the Unexception.
Yeah, and I've just sent it to you now because
Yeah, following on from our conversations recently about Jerry Seinfeld,
us hoping that he suddenly just abandons the Porsche mark and suddenly becomes a Saab loyalist.
I think Jerry would be chasing you down and tugging at your coattails with this.
Look at this.
Listen, this is a 1983 Saab 99.
And it's, well, first of all, in the usual car and classic listening,
there's a section for color and the color just says beige.
And that is not incorrect.
It is extremely beige.
It's extremely beige.
I notice there's so much to enjoy about this starting with, again, mileage, 60,000 miles.
It's a really low mileage for its age.
It's an 83 car.
It's unheard of for Saab.
Unheard of.
Well, also, yeah, that's just ran in surely.
Saab's good for five times that easy.
But the number plate has also caught my eye because it starts SSC.
Yes.
Sweet car.
It is.
This is really amazing.
It's a two door and it's not crucially a turbo.
Therefore, I think it could turn up at Festival of the Unexceptional.
There's 52 gorgeous pictures to choose from when you're looking at this listing.
I think they look so good.
Well proportioned.
I think they look so good.
And also, I know this may be an unfashionable viewpoint, but this is the saloon.
Yes.
Everybody wants those Saabs as the hatch because they're very practical and that is your sort of classic look.
Yeah.
But I love the look of the saloon.
I mean, they're sort of, they're kind of fugly cars anyway.
And I think the saloon, it just ups the fuggliness to an even greater degree.
Yes.
I agree.
I just, I think they're fabulous.
Look at this.
It's cool, isn't it?
It is really nice.
It's out for law.
What is that interior?
I think it's for law.
It's very nice.
Again, sort of, I wouldn't say that's a bit beige, but kind of stone, maybe you'd say.
Stone finishing stone internally.
It's got, now, bear in mind, this is sort of, you know, effectively kind of base spec,
although it has got the five speed box on it.
I'm not sure if that was standard at the time, but, but it's got a rev counter, which is quite sporty.
Does it?
Oh, I did not notice that.
Okay.
What it also has, it is the ear of Saabs.
So this is, the 99 had the sort of very simple 70s spec front end on it to the end, even though it's an 80s car,
which means the smaller, inset, very upright headlights.
And this car has my favorite feature about that era.
The headlight washers are a vertical blade on an arm, which just moves, wipes back and forth across the lamp.
Oh, it just goes left, right, right.
Yeah.
It just moves on a horizontal axis.
That's right.
It doesn't arc like a trad wiper.
Yes.
It is a, how would you, I don't know how else to describe it.
They're just brilliant, though.
And it's got those.
They're usually on a cam, aren't they?
I would guess it's on a cam.
Yeah.
Yeah, probably.
Like a steam engine piston drive system.
But less mucky.
Yes.
I was looking at the pictures.
There's a ton of paperwork here.
Oh my gosh, this is fabulous.
So it's, I wish you were buying me this, 8,490 pounds.
Yeah.
It's not on an auction, that particular car.
No.
And I was, as we've said before, the problem with car and classic is that it's just full of filth and temptation.
I made the mistake the other day of pressing the section of FIA race cars for sale.
Oh my gosh, do not dive in there.
Do not, do not, do not dive in there.
There's, there's a twin turbo E30 BMW.
There's a Capri RS 2600 Group II touring car.
Honestly, there is so much motorsport filth.
It's ridiculous.
There's a works Lancia Delta Martini racing team.
I could have bought you that, Richard, but I've bought you this beige Saab instead.
No, I'm loving this Saab.
This is absolutely fantastic.
We'll put a link on our Patreon and the usual places and things and, but that's great.
I'm so, oh, so taken with that.
I don't know why, but I mean, this thing is, why is that sort of at least as appealing as a, as a turbo version?
I don't know.
There's something sort of unpretentious about it.
There is something unpretentious.
It is funny, isn't it?
Functional Swedish automobile.
Yeah.
I'll get you any to go without, without bothering you.
That's lovely.
Not to get too deep on the car chat.
Oh, by the way, I don't obviously go to caronclassic.com and you can have a look at this Saab, just search Saab99.
I don't know if there's any other there, but this one I'm going to say is probably the nicest because it's amazing.
But yeah, talking as we are about cars, I mentioned last week that I had borrowed the new Renault Twingo,
which I know that you've also driven.
I have.
Yeah.
I willfully ignored the fact that it's a city car because the Twingo turned up coincided with my wife and I going away for a couple of days.
Just the two of us having a little grown-ups trip to the seaside.
And it was like sort of 120 miles drive there, mostly on motorway and fast a road.
And you know, obviously the Twingo's range is, I don't know what they're saying, officially sort of 160 something miles.
But motorway, as we know with EVs, knocks that down quite a lot.
Motorway work is more difficult work.
Motorway work.
So the logical thing would have been to take something else.
But I was buggered if I was going to do that because my time with the Twingo the day before when it arrived,
I was a bit like, I think this feels good.
And although my wife pulled a face and was skeptical and also this car was left-hand drive on French plates,
which then we did realize when we stopped, partway on our journey services,
that we should start just pretending to be French and see what happened.
Well, yeah, then the next time someone spoke to me, it was an electric charger and it was an older couple
and they couldn't get the charger to work for their MG.
And they asked me to help and I tried to help them.
But then after my wife went, I don't know if she didn't pretend to be French there, it's a bit disappointing.
This couple were both wearing all black and it was very obvious they were on their way to a funeral
and I thought it was somehow tasteless for me to start clowning around going,
I don't know why.
So I didn't.
So yeah, we went away for a weekend away and we were going self-catering
so we had to take quite a bit of stuff.
But one of the things about that Twingo which I'm staggered about
because they haven't announced UK prices yet, right-hand drive production doesn't start until next year.
But in Europe, it's sort of, it's a sub-20 grand car for the basic one
and they're saying the same will be achieved here.
And if you look on the Renault's French website, you can lease through Renault
an entry-level car which is not sort of badly equipped for 110 euros a month.
Wow.
This is bugger all.
I mean, that's less than I pay for my Dacia Spring and that's piss cheap, I thought.
So, you know, that's a hell of a deal.
But it doesn't feel to me like a mega cheap car.
No.
It's got loads of stuff in it that is expensive.
And one of the things that I think, you know, they must have had to have a bit of a fight about
is that it has a movable back seat.
Yeah, that's right.
Which the five should have, really.
The five should have?
Well, I mean, lots of cars should have because it's amazing how useful that is.
And actually, and I know the reason they've done it in the Twingo is because the original Twingo had it.
Yeah.
But this, I think in the original Twingo, it was a one piece.
It just all moved either front or back.
You didn't have a choice.
The new one, it's split so you could have one side right back so that adults got plenty of leg room.
And then the other side right forward so you've got a bit more boot space.
That's very works because we needed boot space to go away.
Seats all the way forward.
Bit more room.
Yeah.
But then after we came back, needed to just do a bit of running around.
I had my daughter in the back and so seat all the way back and she actually commented on how much leg room was in the back.
She's like, I've got to look at my legs.
I can stretch my legs right out.
I was like, I know you can.
She's about to turn nine.
So it's like, you know, she's, and she's quite tall for her age and she found the back of it to be luxurious as a result.
So it's like, that's clever, but it costs money to do.
It does.
And then.
Yeah.
It's also got, it's got regen adjustment paddles on the wheel.
And again, I love that.
I love cars that have got that.
I think it's a really, because I sometimes, you know, sort of on the motorway, you want to just knock the regen right down so you can coast a bit.
But in town, you might want more aggressive regen.
And I hate it when you have to go into a bloody screen to change it.
If you can just do it on the fly, which I mean, it's like keyers and hinders always seem to have that facility.
And I always like that.
But just having that, you go, well, no, that, you know, when you're in sort of hyper accountancy of trying to sell a really cheap car, every penny counts.
And so to the fact that they've bothered to put those paddles on it, I was a bit like, no, that's, that's good.
There are a few little touches.
And I just thought they've somehow managed to find the money to do this to make it a nicer car to own whilst not ramping the price.
I don't know.
They're just trying not to make money.
They're trying to make fantastic cars.
They're trying to undercut a lot of their competitors for quality and kit standard and all that kind of thing with flamboyant designs that people actually desire with really good colors,
a lot of which are free, aren't they?
These days, it was so annoying, the fact that you have to pay, I don't know, 600 quid for a shit color on a car.
That's like, that should just be a free option.
It shouldn't be a cost option.
That's just miser's behavior.
It's a bit cheeky, isn't it?
Because if you're just talking, you know, one flat color versus the other, I don't see that the cost implications are much.
No.
And then metallic is probably a little bit more expensive because the paint is just more expensive.
Obviously, per less than that is more expensive than that.
But just, you know, when you get car companies, the one, the free color is a metallic.
Yeah.
But then they'll charge you 600 pounds for a different metallic.
You go, no.
No, that's wrong.
We're taking the piss here.
And the five is what makes the five interesting is the launch green and the launch yellow are both not just high metallic but almost metal flake.
And they're free.
You don't pay for those colors.
So what they're trying to do is they're trying to, I think, encourage people to be more colorful.
So maybe this is a ploy.
I think Renault, both of us have interviewed design bosses at car companies over the years, haven't we?
And you can sometimes get them to admit that there is a constant battle going on inside car companies between design and engineering and finance.
And, you know, it's not always like people banging on desks and shouting, but there is often a lot of vigorous debate.
And of course, design always want things like really big wheels because they make cars look better and probably bright colors.
I think in Renault, design has a lot of power and influence because if you look at the five comes on big wheels.
Yeah.
The last shaped scenic, there's a great story about that.
I put in one of my trivia books about how the designers wanted big wheels on that.
And finance said, you can do it if you can find a tire that doesn't cost any more than I think there were 18s they want to put on.
It's like, if you can find tires that will cost the same as they would for 16 inch, then you can do it.
And they did.
They got a deal with Michelin or someone to do that.
So there is still this back and forth, but I think design at Renault clearly wields a lot of power and also has learned how to play the system.
Because the Twingo, there's only two models.
The one I borrowed was the the upper spec one and it comes on 18s.
It's like it's a tiny car, but it comes on 18s and the, you know, there's got to be a cost implication there.
And took in the color, the one I borrowed was that sort of custody yellowy orange.
That's the default color.
That's the freebie one.
And it's really zingy.
They call it mango, which I sort of see because it's like the inside of a mango.
But yeah, you know, normally white would be the default.
You can get that Twingo in white, but you, I think you pay extra for the white.
You get the bright, poppy, yellowy orange for now, which is interesting.
I had the green.
I had the froggy green and it was, it's a tremendous, tremendous.
Yes.
My wife was initially skeptical about this car for a number of reasons and she was won over by it.
And she was, we were trying to work out what you got for free or what was optional.
Cause there's all these sort of accessory things you can have in the interior.
So while we were driving to Wales, she was looking on her phone on the Renault's French website.
And she saw the green and she went, Oh, you see, I like that color a lot more now.
That's, that's, that's much better.
She wasn't keen on the mango color, but the green we agreed was really nice.
Green is really good.
Yeah.
Other things I liked about it, it's got proper buttons.
It's got dials for the air con and it's got proper buttons on the wheel.
Everything that you need to do regularly is a hard button.
And then other stuff is on the screen.
It is, I would say pretty much spot on for a modern car.
Yeah.
The division of labor between button and touchscreen.
So that again, it's got that thing that all modern Renault's have and my Datch has got,
which is that the, there's a personalized settings button and you double click it and
it sets up all the driver assistance, various things to your taste, which, you know, frankly
is off in other cases of the speed warning and the lane keep assist because they just
never work properly.
So that again, big tick for the car.
Massive, massive and body colored dash as well.
Body colored dash and that's it.
And again, you go now, wait, that there must be a cost implication.
And if not, certainly a sort of just logistics pain in the arse implication, because the
green car needs the green interior panels and the mango one needs that and so on and
so on.
I think that's only the top model, but even so I think it's just, it's making it more
complicated to build.
And you'd think that just the production people go, please knock it off.
We don't need this aggro, but no, it's built in Slovenia as well.
It's not, it's not coming in from China like the Dutch springs are.
It's, it's a Euro made car, which again, it presumably is not the cheapest way to do
it.
No, but the front, I mean, that's the thing.
The French are really trying hard to build on local turf, aren't they?
Which is why the five is still built in France.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think that's part of their policy is save money elsewhere.
So I was reading up on this, the Twingo was developed, they claim start to finish in two
years, possibly slightly less than two years, which is breakneck, but is what Chinese companies
claim to be able to do.
And so Renault put together an engineering team in China and just went, right, well, you
guys supposed to be good at this.
So let's do it.
Gordon, do it.
But they still had an engineering team in Paris as well.
And part of their advantage that allowed them to do it so quickly is because the, as the
working day in France ended, the working day in China was beginning.
And so essentially there was designed engineering work happening on that car pretty much 24 hours
a day.
So if they'd just done it in Paris, it would have been whatever the working hours are there,
sort of nine to four 30 or something.
And then everyone had gone home for the night, but they could just keep it rolling.
And so that enabled them to do it quickly.
And that just meant the faster you can do it, sort of the more cost effective it can be.
So it's a fascinating car the way they've achieved it.
But I would say in one way, I think they've slightly messed up because I genuinely think
it is a really, really nice car to drive.
Like it's just got that sort of fluent, easy going, fun sort of feel to it.
It works with you.
French cars too.
Yeah.
It just has the feel that all great small French cars have.
But that does encourage you on A and B roads to really step on it because you know that
you can.
To drive like a stroker, you mean?
You drive like a stroker slash someone who lives in rural France.
And it's just, which is not good for battery life, you know, not for your range, but it's
hard to resist.
Yeah.
Because I will say, obviously the weather was favorable in terms of it being warm, which
batteries like, but not too hot.
For bats.
Yeah.
Good ambient.
So we did a journey to South Wales to the coast and we stopped once because we needed
to get some food and use the loo and everything on the way there and on the way back.
And I used that as a charging opportunity.
It doesn't charge mega fast, even on a fast charger.
It can only go up to 50 kilowatts because the battery doesn't have built in cooling.
The only ways to save money is it doesn't have sort of sophisticated cooling capacity
and that limits how fast it can charge.
Yeah.
So that, you know, that is a downside, but then, you know, back to my point, it's not
meant for motorway work.
It's a city car.
But it was doing, and bear in mind, when we got off the motorway and we're like driving
down to the Gallup Peninsula and it's some nice roads down there, we had the windows down
because it was a lovely day on the motorway windows up air con on.
So again, that's just chipping away at your age, but we were doing motorway speed.
So, you know, not mega fast, but just sort of sticking to 70 and some of those 50 bits
down the M4 in Wales.
And it was doing sort of around five miles per kilowatt hour.
That's good.
That's really good.
Electro heads will know that's good.
Although yesterday I was out in my spring and I had a look at the spring was doing seven
and I was like, well, not even trying.
And it's just an inherently quite efficient car.
But yeah, the swing goes still, but that's on the motorway as well.
That's like on the motorway and on fast day roads and in a car that encourages you to
drive it like a bit of a knob because it's just fun.
It was still being pretty economical.
So, you know, the range is okay.
And in town, it would, I mean, same way that I find with my dacha, it's just not an issue
because it lives in urban environments.
We can charge at home.
If you don't use it that way and you can't charge at home, it'd be a very different experience.
But yeah, I thought the twingo, I'm going to say it genuinely, it is the best car I've
driven this year.
No question.
I honestly think that I think it, and I preferred it.
I much preferred it to five, which, and I like the five, but I think there are a few things
wrong with the five and they are, I find the steering sort of sort of kind of quite light
and wispy in the five and the brakes, that blending between the regen and the friction
braking when you're using the pedal is not quite right to me.
It's not quite right in my dacha either.
And I think with the twingo, they seem to have nailed it.
It feels much more natural and it's easy to stop without sort of lurching.
The steering has got really nice weight to it and actually you sort of, you get a bit
of a feedback, which is unusual for a, you know, a modern car with electric power steering.
But you know, when you move road surfaces to a grittier road surface, you definitely
get, you can sense things through the wheel.
It's actually really nicely done.
And the five, I always thought it's a shame that it's not a massive car, but the leg room
in the back is not great at all.
And in the twingo, as I've said, it's bloody great if you wanted to be and you don't need
all of the boots that you can set your permutation.
So for me, it would be a more usable car, which is a bit ironic, I think.
I know the smaller car has the better, more practical interior, but the smaller car has
the more leg room at the back.
Yeah, you just go, well, if you haven't already watched my video on the Honda Super N and
also the Honda City Turbo 2, which I got to drive finally.
The twingo is mentioned in the verdict.
Ladies and gentlemen, there's also a mention of a couple of other cars because that's what
what you do with a car review.
Do you know, do you know something I wanted to talk about?
I've written down here because we mentioned it, I think, or you mentioned it last week.
It's the five year anniversary of the best letter we've ever had on this channel on this
podcast.
Oh, yes.
It's the five year anniversary of the clown in the Bedford Rascal story.
Yes.
It's true.
When did we notice that?
What did I say?
I told you, this wasn't on the podcast, was it?
No, we were just chatting.
But I dug out the clown in the Rascal email for old times sake just to make sure we'd
still got it and realized that we had just passed the five years since we were sent it.
Yeah, which is excellent.
So we decided we will have an anniversary for that.
We'll do something official for it.
Yeah.
Because it deserves to live on in everyone's memories.
Yeah, I wonder if we, we could do some ceremonial reading of it at some time.
Maybe we could do it at the Festival of the Unexceptional.
If someone's got a rascal, there might be a rascal there.
Oh, there might be a rascal there.
Wouldn't that be gorgeous?
Hey, if you're bringing a rascal to the Festival of the Unexceptional and you feel like dressing
as a clown for the occasion, we certainly wouldn't try and discourage that.
No.
Although, I would say reading of it, of that story at the Festival of the Unexceptional,
I've got, I've got something else, something else ceremonial that I'd like to do at the
Festival of the Unexceptional.
Yes.
If you were somebody who came to our previous, which was the last live podcast we did?
I'm glad you've asked me that because now I can't remember.
London.
Was it London?
Yeah, we did those two nights in London.
And was it in London where I live in front of the audience bought the Strimer engine on
a plent?
Yes, it was.
The feast night in London.
Yeah, we haven't mentioned this on the, on the recorded show.
No.
But when we were on stage in London, Johnny had a rush of blood slash wine to the head
and live on stage in front of an audience of 200 and something people bought a, bought
a.
It's a Ryobi.
A Strimer engine.
I bought a Ryobi ornamental Strimer engine on wooden plinth ideal for shows according
to its title.
Ah, yes.
Yes.
I actually overpaid for it vastly, I would say.
Well, including.
How much was it?
£52.70 including delivery, which I think is a lot.
Could you, could you get a second hand Ryobi Strimer engine for less than that then?
Well, I think you could probably get the rest of the Strimer because the thing is, it's
just the back of the Strimer.
Obviously just the engine.
It doesn't have the shaft and the head.
But then maybe the price of plinths has skyrocketed in recent times.
Well, yeah.
I mean, materials do go.
So I'll just read you the description and explain what we're going to do.
This Ryobi ornamental Strimer engine is a reliable piece of machinery ideal for shows
with its sturdy wooden.
What shows?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Steam rallies with its sturdy wooden plinth.
This engine is perfect for outdoor demonstrations and exhibitions.
It was manufactured in 2011 by the reputable brand Ryobi.
It's not even classic.
It's not even old by the reputable brand Ryobi.
Its compact design also makes it a convenient option for display purposes, adding a touch
of authenticity to any event.
I'm going to say that is all AI.
That has been written by AI by somebody who can't be asked to just say,
I've got a Strimer engine.
The rest of it's wanked.
I've removed it all.
I can't be bothered to throw it away.
I'm going to put it on a piece of old worktop and see if there's a mug on eBay that will
buy it.
I mean, it is tempting to say anything these days that's total horseshit and factually
incorrect is AI.
But I don't know.
That could just be someone deluded because, I mean, it does raise questions.
What are the shows that you're taking a recent Strimer engine on a plinth to?
That's the thing, because if it was a steam rally, everyone would be going,
that's not a classic Ryobi engine.
No.
Are there modern garden tool shows?
There will be.
But maybe the stationary engine crew would let you in.
I feel like they would.
Have you tried firing it up yet?
No.
So this is what I was coming on to, Richard.
I think what we're going to do, I haven't even unboxed it yet.
I think at Festival of the Unexceptional on stage when we do a little bit of this, that
and the other chat, I think I might unbox and or also I'm going to do its first fire
up a live unboxing live unboxing and first fire up of the Ryobi 2011 good or authentic
display purposes that shows Strimer engine.
And we're all marvel at the fact that it's neither old nor interesting.
And it doesn't power up.
Well, if you're listening to this and you were sort of on the fence about coming to
Festival of the Unexceptional, I hope that the prospect of a neither old nor interesting
engine being started on stage will have tipped the balance to make you come along.
I think so.
It's quite a sales pitch that good.
Well, I look forward to that.
I had sort of forgotten about the engine.
Yeah, I'd forgotten that we bought this on stage.
I think I bought it on Smith and Sniff expenses because after all,
I think it is.
It's sort of is a buzzness expense.
It is a buzzness expense.
I think I can't remember when I bought that grotesque head of Nigel Mansel on eBay.
I can't remember if I put that on Smith and Sniff expenses or if that was a personal
for personal use.
Very personal.
I was going to say that's exciting.
I'm not sure this is, but it is definitely something or other.
Well, you know, Wayne Carini.
I do know.
I know of Wayne.
I know of him.
I don't know the guy.
I missed out on meeting him at the members meeting and I feel a bit put out that I didn't
quite get to see the majestic white hair and tash himself.
He's a cool guy, Wayne.
I think Wayne has got a new show in the in the throws.
It's called taking classic cars with Wayne Carini.
And what Wayne does is because he's so disarming and charming and he has a fantastic reputation
now, he just goes to an event.
I mean, look, he might even turn up at Pebble Beach.
I'm sure he will or the quail and all of the other shows is around it.
The quails is and he'll just go, wow, look at this iso griffo.
This is, I've always liked these.
These are really beautiful.
Starts talking to the owner and then says, do you mind if I sit in and he just gets in
it and smiles at the camera because they're filming it to make it look like it's a part
of the TV show.
And he just drives off and he's never seen again that year.
But what about, wasn't there a fast show character played by Paul Whitehouse?
He was just a sort of brazen thief.
And he'd go, I'm nicking it, mate.
I'm nicking it.
And people sort of taken aback by that.
They just go, right.
Okay.
And you go, no, no, honestly, I'm taking it.
No, I'll take it.
Don't leave it with me.
I'll take it.
If Wayne Carini was just much more brazen, he just go, can I have the keys?
Yeah, sure.
You want to you want to fire up?
Yeah.
And I'm going to take it.
Right.
Yeah, I'm just taking your car.
I'm going to take your car now.
Okay.
Anyway, great to talk to you.
And then he just goes and the people, because like you say, he's so charming.
People are kind of somehow powerless to resist.
Yeah.
He just come up and go, so is this a real factory Cobra?
It is.
Yeah, yeah.
I had it in Nut and Bolt restored about three years ago.
I can't even tell you how much it cost, but I'm so happy with it.
Yeah, I'm going to take this car.
What?
I'm just taking it.
I like it.
I'm having it.
Okay.
So thanks.
And then he just go and people just didn't know what to do.
So they just sort of placidly let him drive off.
And then they just, because there's still a camera rolling, they kind of go, ha, ha.
Is he coming back?
He'll be back in a minute.
Yeah, the director of how the cameras go.
No, no, he's not coming.
So this is just a bit for TV, right?
No, no, he's gone.
That's it.
Now you better ring your insurance company and tell them that you've, it's been stolen
by Wayne Carini.
Yeah.
And I think the thing about Wayne Carini is taking classic cars is he, he makes a decision
in the, within 20 miles of, of, of nicking the car, whether it's a keeper or whether
it's going to go straight up for sale.
And if it goes straight up to sale, he just keeps it nice and plain.
He just puts it on Facebook marketplace, local area, like really badly advertised.
And just like a couple of thousand dollars.
I wonder if he, again, just go the other way.
He, he put it on his own website with, I stole this car about about half an hour ago and
I don't like it.
So here it is.
Yeah.
It's a, it's an immaculate Lamborghini as spada.
It's been painstakingly restored by the Lamborghini historic division in Italy and then shipped
back to the United States.
It's yours for eight grand.
And he just, he just moves them on.
They're so cheap.
And he always says not damaged during the, the, the, the talking owner freely handed
me the keys.
I drove extremely carefully.
Some of them, he's got some guys got like a really lovely early like flat floor S1E type
and he's got all the paperwork spread out on the bonnet because Wayne's encouraged him
to do that.
And it's gone.
Okay.
Yeah.
Really.
Wow.
The original sales receipt that is.
Wow.
Awesome.
And he's just, and Wayne's just slowly gathering it all up and putting it into a leather folder
and he's going, well, I've got that.
Can I just have the keys?
Uh, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Well, I'm taking it.
I'm taking the car.
I think I'll take this.
I love the story.
I love the paperwork.
I love everything about it.
The color really speaks to me.
So I'm just going to take it.
Yeah.
And there's nothing you can do.
No.
And off he goes.
Yeah.
Well, that's it from another episode of taking cars with me.
Wayne Carini next week.
I really fancy a Lotus Esprit.
So let's see if I can find one and then just take it.
If you're in the New York state area and you've got an early Lotus, a LAN, give me a call
and I'll come and take it.
Yeah.
I will be taking it.
With a smile.
Yes.
It's like, well, some people are so taken aback.
You'll go, anyway, I'm having this now.
And they'll go, well, Wayne, before you take my car, can we have a selfie?
Of course.
Of course we can.
All right.
That's great.
Hey, it's been great to meet you, but I am now taking your car and then off he goes.
Yeah.
I think Wayne needs to do this now.
I think it's a great idea.
I think so.
Wayne is listening.
I really think he's got it.
Yeah.
He's just absolutely brazen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This idea has got legs.
Not that I need legs because I'll be driving away from here.
In your car.
In your car.
That Ferrari 275 GT.
Oh, it's good.
It goes as a good idea.
Well, let's say, Wayne, if you're listening, you can have this idea for free because we
think it would be hilarious.
Maybe as it becomes quite notorious, you get delusional fans.
You know, like people that want to marry people on death row in prison.
Yes.
Even though they'll never get to really see them or have a meaningful life with them,
potentially.
Yeah.
There's people that will now approach Wayne and sort of throw the keys at him like crazy
and go, hey, hey, Wayne.
I've got an MGC with overheating problems, but the paint is immaculate.
Please, if you want it, I would be in awe if you took this car.
It would be an absolute pleasure if you took this car away from me.
It's worth about 12 grand.
He's not having it.
He just goes, I think I could take better examples of that car.
But thanks anyway.
He likes to throw the chase.
He'd rather go for, you know, there's some guy who's got like a Bugatti Royale or something
and this blows like, look, I recognize you, Carini, and I know your game.
And there's no way you're getting your hands on this.
And then 20 minutes later, somehow he's watching his Bugatti driving off into the sunset.
Only to discover that Wayne didn't really like it because he found the gearbox difficult
and he immediately stuck it on his website for $4,500.
It's on Craigslist.
It's on Craigslist, yes.
Maybe that's it.
Maybe the more expensive the car, the more badly he advertises it just perversely.
So it's like one photo with his finger slightly over the core of the lens of a Bugatti Royale
taken in the dark and he's spelt Royale wrong.
Yeah, he's spelt Royale wrong.
And it's four and a half grand.
But he has on these extremely cheap, exotic stolen cars.
There's always a very tight time limit on buyer must collect within four hours.
Yes.
So you have to look at when the ad went out and go, oh my gosh, I've got to collect this
in the next three quarters of an hour.
Otherwise I'm doomed.
Yeah, but that's the thing because it's hot goods.
He needs it off his property or wherever he is hiding in a lay-by.
Yeah, he's got to get it gone, isn't he?
He's got to get it gone.
Yeah.
Wayne, if you're listening, we know that you don't do this sort of thing
and you're a sweet, sweet guy.
But you should.
But if you ever want to strike up a Ryobi strimmer engine, an ornamental one on a plinth,
or borrow it for a while, let's call it a long-term loan.
Do a little bit of social media with it.
He's just taking stuff.
He could take the strimmer engine off our hands and frankly, I don't think we'd mind
because we don't really need a strimmer engine on a plinth.
No, not really.
Or do we?
Or do we?
I don't know.
Well, should we start handing it around to people and gifting it to people
and then they can sign the plinth and then do a video for social media of them
trying to strike it up.
And then it will become actually famous in its own right.
So yeah, our friend Greg James would be up for that.
He'd be up for that.
But then he's got contacts.
Yeah.
Hi, I'm Olivia Rodrigo and I'm going to try and get this 15-year-old strimmer engine going.
It would be great content.
Yeah.
We're just spitting out ideas left, right, and centre here.
But we do, unfortunately, have to wrap this up.
Before we go, three things I wanted to share with you.
The first is, of course, Johnny has a solo YouTube channel called The Late Break Show.
Can you remember this week what's on there?
Oh, for goodness' sake.
I mean, I could just make something up if it helps.
There's something really good, actually.
That's what makes it really annoying.
This week, Johnny's with a man called Mike Slice who has Britain's leading collection of Kia Pride.
He has two of them.
Hang on.
Let me just see if it's in my...
Oh, I know what it is this weekend.
It's a barn find.
And it's a barn find of a Subaru that you've probably either never heard of or haven't seen in living memory.
And it's genuinely in a barn.
Oh, good.
But there's a shock surprise to this barn find, but I'm not going to spoil that for you.
Is it that you get it running and then Wayne Carini comes in and just takes it?
Yeah, that's what it is.
Wayne gets wind of the fact there's only three left in Britain.
He flies over that morning.
No messing around.
Turns up and has that lovely little smile peeping out from underneath his lip slug.
And he's like, right, I see you've got it going with the can of hope.
Dreck and this will make it onto the trailer.
Oh, maybe Wayne.
Why? Why'd you ask?
Well, because I think I'm going to have it.
Oh, yeah.
Are you?
This is actually bad for your business because from now on, if Wayne Carini is just taking cars,
you're going to have to be quite vigilant that he's not just lurking in the bushes.
Oh, well, I know.
As you're diligently cleaning and getting cars running, he's there like a bear just waiting to pounce.
No, because I'm going to pivot my business.
So it'll be, I'm chasing Wayne Carini who's taking cars.
Right.
See?
Okay.
I'm the Carini cop.
And I shut this bastard down.
It's not chasing classic cars with Wayne Carini.
It's chasing Wayne Carini who's been taking the classic cars.
Chasing Wayne Carini.
Wow, this is a format that just keeps expanding outwards.
That's great.
Okay, well, I want to do this, Wayne.
Let's do this.
Let's do this.
All right.
Second thing I wanted to say to you is I have various books out.
One of them is called Petrol Head.
It's a collection of some of my Evo columns from the last 20 years.
It's available from Amazon as an e-book or a paperback.
Well, you can get it from the Smith & Sniff merchandise shop, smithandsniff.com,
where you can also buy t-shirts and stickers and mugs and all manner of things relating to this show.
So please do that, smithandsniff.com, follow the link for merch.
Also, there is a live show page on there, which has a link to buy Festival of the Unexceptional tickets
and also has vague details about a couple of upcoming live shows later this year,
including one in the United States of the Americas.
Yes, and it's just been Independence Day, hasn't it?
It has 250 years, yeah.
There we go.
So to celebrate that, we're coming to America.
Yes, we are.
To talk live.
To start drinking tea again.
And the third thing I was going to say is it's summertime,
and so you may not be aware that only female wasps can sting you.
Oh!
So before, if you're getting a bit worried about a wasp buzzing around your head,
just ask it if it is prepared to confirm if it's a boy or a girl,
and then you'll know if you're going to get stung in the head.
No, I did not know that.
Yeah, amazing, isn't it?
Anyway, on that slightly Attenbury note, it's time to end,
but thank you ever so much for listening.
We'll do this all again next Monday, Q&A show on Friday, of course.
Until then, goodbye.
Cheers, mate.
Thanks, mate.
Bye then.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Bye.
I realised I said, of course.
There's a show, of course, on Fridays, if it's like, it's not of course, is it?
I like it when people say that.
It's like, obviously, I changed that.
Yes.
It's not that obvious.
This wasn't the first thing I thought of.
Yeah, I went to the last night of the proms, and of course,
I put my elbow in a blob of raspberry yogurt.
Of course, why is it a course?
That's not a natural thing to happen.
What's wrong with you?
Of course, of course.
About this episode
A lot of the chat starts off sideways—ice cream van jokes, diesel stench, and even “mind that child” signage—before settling into proper car talk. The hosts connect vehicle packaging and duty cycles to engine stress, then shift to classic-car event vibes and listings. The real headline is the Renault Twingo EV: they discuss its real-world efficiency, charging limits, and how the regen/steering feel lands, concluding it’s “the best car I’ve driven this year.”
Richard has a bold claim about a new car. Also in this episode, the weird world of ice cream vans, flying ants, First World War biplanes, getting hair in the car, a reminder about the upcoming Festival of the Unexceptional, a review of the new Renault Twingo, the fifth anniversary of the legendary clown in a Rascal letter, how Jonny bought a strimmer engine on a plinth while on stage at a live show, a new programme idea for Wayne Carini, and another cracking pic from the halls of Car & Classic.
