The mundane is sacred |S:03E.72

Music

Pre-steal crack higher and buy you air-crack The sun's in the creek side, it's faking fast

Are you really digging for peace Or is that just a lie tell to help you sleep

Welcome to the wrecking yard, I'm Harry Wayne Longmar Y'all, presumably still y'all

Everybody's welcome here in the church of internal combustion

We just asked that you show up with an open heart

You notice, I got a little guest in the studio today and I'm also not in the studio

I am in a, what are we at? The Stay Bridge Suites

Extended stays?

The extended stay, wherever they stick workers, they're going to be somewhere a long time

It's basically a hotel room with no cups

I had to go ask them for cups and I finally conned somebody out of some plastic cups

I had like eight

Oh no, I'm just kidding

I'm in the wrong room

Barry got the headliner room, I got the future room

Most of y'all already know him, I'm a good friend, Barry Laminac

Stand-up comedian, radio host, extraordinary

You also have Barry on Deck, your own show

And they do all kind of wonderful things

We were talking last time about some of the charity endeavors you guys have done

And let me turn that computer down so that my editor's not making beeping noises throughout this

For my own work

Yeah, Barry on Deck's done some big good

I didn't even know about all the money y'all raised and everything

And then y'all went to a no kill shelter and you ate poison ivy or something

So the animals didn't have to, it's phenomenal bro

You know, we do what we can

Yeah, that's a good Christian soldier right there, brother

So me and Barry on the road this week, we're working in San Antonio at the fabulous Retoma Race Park

Yes

Because you know what a horse racing park needs is the stand-up comedy show

Yes

Makes all the sense in the world

Yes

I'm just glad we're not in the middle of the track

You know what, everybody when I first tell them like

Especially when there's only 13 people there, there's 13 people at last night's show

Every once in a while you just need a little humbling

Yes, comedy is a cruel mistress

Oh, I'm humbled

Yeah, you think you've got it all figured out

And then they answer with a 13 person show

You're like, damn

I can't remember the last time I did that bad

Even in El Reno we had 20 people

We had 25 people at the barbecue restaurant that time

Yeah

13 people last night

Shout out to San Antonio for not fighting traffic

Yeah, yeah, there's it

This area is San Antonio oriented

So San Antonio, I'm no city planner

Alright

But I've lived in a few

And don't get me wrong, Houston got all

They've been working on 45 since 41 of us was born

But the thing I will say about Houston

Is they like to work on one freeway at a time

Yes

They don't ever finish it, but then they'll get bored

Or their ADHD will kick in and be like

Let's go work on 16 for a little while

But then they go work on 16 for a while

They pick all the stuff up

Yeah, and they go do new plays

It's not like San Antonio over the

My last four or five years of coming here

They just continue to dismantle

More of the San Antonio

They've got 1604 screwed up

35

Now they're tearing 1604 up from like

35 all the way to

I can't remember the other highway out there

Yeah

They're gonna make it five lanes

But they didn't finish doing 35

Before they did any of that

Yeah

The 410 loop saw everything

I just went 11 miles and it took 46 minutes

46 minutes

With the world's oldest Uber driver

I swear to God

If this man wasn't 85 years old

He wouldn't a day

And he literally sat on the freeway

Behind another car that was sitting behind nothing

Just sitting there

For a good eight minutes

He didn't halt

He just waited for them to move

His first Uber car was a Model T

He drove checkered cabs

He

My God

I was just like

Bro, why aren't you in a hurry?

You were running out of time

The one thing you don't have is time

Go

I got a little time

But you're really on the low spectrum of time

That we got left to make a decision

About this car in front of us

I don't know if your minutes are weeks

It's something

Maybe he's Canadian

He just didn't do the conversion

I went out just to get coffee

Just to get some coffee

And back when I texted you

Man, it took

45 minutes

You know where that QT is

It's about three miles from here

It took me 45 minutes to get there

Get my stuff and get back

We got more tickets

I don't know if anyone's going to like

Man

I made a little video earlier

Y'all come to the San Antonio show

You want to leave about two hours ahead of time

You want to leave last Wednesday

So that you can spend an hour

Sitting on 35

Looking at the racetrack

And he's being humble

He said 13 people came

That's not how many tickets were sold

I just need everybody to know that

That's how many people came

30-something tickets sold

So it's not like he sold 13 tickets

It was much more than that

How was your

We went out and had a little drink last night

At a bar where we did not fit in

Nope

We were way too old for that bar

I got called tight and not tight

By some youngster

Yeah, but then we also watched him

Puking the rocks for a while

I was like, yeah

I can hold my liquor youngin'

Yeah, I got a great deal of joy

Out of watching that whole stagger around

And puking the rocks

Fall down, throw up

I was like, who's not tight now?

I was like, you thought you was a bad dude

He came up, he grabs my shirt

He pops the collar on

And he goes, yo, that's tight

But you're not

He goes, but you're tight, but you're not

I was like, what does that even mean?

And then 30 minutes later

As we're finishing our drinks

You see him fall down

Then he gets up

Then he throws up

And he's like, it's not tight, bro

If you're guessing the demographic of that bar

It was probably 22 to 28

Young black folks

That they were there for

Quite a large birthday party

Rage it on, having a good time

I like hip hop music

So I was having a good time

But we had to wait 20 minutes

To get a drink

And then I just felt so old

I just never felt so old

Especially when the 25-year-old

Comes by wearing a Kimalaj 1 jersey

I'm like, you don't even remember that dude

I barely remember him

You have no idea

Yeah, that was an experience

The bartender

It's like a 22-year-old bartender

In fishnet tights

And wearing a Ramon shirt

And I was so bad

I wanted to be that guy

I want to just go up and sing

I want to be sedated

And see if she recognizes that

Who's that?

Is that Blink 182?

I did want to play it on the jukebox

Because I wasn't trying to get my ass kicked

I did want to see if she could

Talk about her record scratch

A single Ramon song

They probably didn't even have that on them

It'd been wild if I had played it on the jukebox

They'd just start raging out to it

Then I wouldn't have felt so old

I've never felt so old

As just experiencing that

Because it was like

When she gave me my drink

The second bartender finally shows up

And takes her drinks

He goes, sir

I was like, sir

Sir hurts

I just need young folks to know

Sir hurts

When you're talking with people

In their 40s and 50s

Sir hurts

It's like I'm not a sir yet

Sirs is for 70 people

You know what I mean? 70-year-old men

Sir is my dad

Yeah

Yeah, exactly

My editor buddy Adam

Every time he calls me

He always says the same thing

He's about 12 years younger than me

And I'll pick up a phone and he'll go

Mr. Longmire

I'm like, that does not mean

That's my dad

Yeah

That's this old dude

That lives along New Texas

I am J.W. or Jerry Wayne

You know, asshole

You can tell me a lot of things

Mr. Longmire is not who I am

Yeah

If you're in your 20s or 30s

And you see somebody in their 40s

Don't say sir

Or 50

Just dude, man

That's all good

It's good manners

But don't be upset

If they start crying

Yeah

You know

If you see a walk away

Wiping their eyes

I didn't know any of the songs

Being played

She said, sir

And I was like, I'm old

This is it

I'm old

But at least I'm not falling down

Throwing up

Yeah

I do not miss that

Sirs don't do that

I don't remember the last time

I honestly had so much to drink

That I threw up

I don't remember the last time

That happened

And I'm real thankful about that

Yeah

And it ain't because I can

Necessary hold more liquor now

It's just I don't do that to myself

No more

Oh, I used to

Yeah, I've done it

I do

But

You get old

The last time I did that

I had bad credit

Worse credit

Yeah

There you go

Worse credit

The last time I did that

I was in about the 508 category

Yeah

Yeah, like this is

I need to just get drunk

And fall down and throw up

To forget my credit score

Yeah

So we're obviously

We're gonna do the show

A little different today

I got my buddy Barry in

I thought we'd have some fun

And I found three interesting topics

I wanted to talk about

And I wrote a little something

To go at the end of it

But one of these topics

Really surprised me

I was going down some rabbit holes

The other night

And

There is a rumor

I have been spreading for years

That is not true

I had no idea

I have been telling people

For years

That Johnny Cash

Sorry

No, that's fair

I do say that a lot

I've been telling people

For years

That Johnny Cash

Extincted a species of bird

Because he got drunk

While he was camping

This back when he was all

Missed up on the methamphetamines

And he got drunk

And he left a cigarette going

And started a forest fire

And to be fair

Where I got this information

Was from his biography

Called Cash

And I read it about

Three or four times

I was just incensed

With Johnny Cash

I wanted to be

I used to wear all black

I still wear all black

I wanted to be Johnny Cash

You know

He was Godfather of punk

He was just this cool folk hero

As I was growing up

But then I learned

This horrible thing

About him in a book

And I would be like

Yeah, as cool as Johnny Cash is

He did extinct the species of bird

But he didn't

It's all a lie

He did start a huge wildfire

1965

This is when him

And his first wife Vivian

And her book just came out

A couple

About four or five years ago

Maybe longer than that

But this is with him

And his first wife Vivian

And they was living out

In Los Angeles

And this was when Johnny

Was really getting

This when he was tearing

Sinks off the walls

You know

I mean

He was a

I heard a story about him

And I'm pretty sure

This story is true

But we had a friend

Back in Kilgore

In East Texas

Old man

And his dad

Had owned the only pharmacy

In town

The Eckerds

Whee

Back in

During the sixth

During the hayride

Before

Cash got famous

Moved out to LA

In the hayride

Tourist Day

So it was

It was Johnny Cash

Elvis Presley

Gary Lee Lewis

And Roy Orbison

They were just

Cutting a rug

And living wild

In their car

Taking as many pills

As they could get

And the rumor about that

Was Elvis

When he turned them on

With the pills

Elvis was like

If you take

You some of these pills

You can drive

All night

And do four shows

Tomorrow

You'd be feeling good

And Johnny got off

Into these

Mantan pediments

And the story goes

About this

Old man

On this pharmacy

In Kilgore

Just

While the hayride

Tour was going on

And they would come through

On their way

To Gladewater

To do shows

They'd stop

At that pharmacy

About midnight

Pull up to the back door

And Johnny Cash

Would get out of

That big old

Black Cadillac

With a big black

Leather bag

And the old pharmacist

Would just fill him up

Wow

Fill him up

And then he'd throw it

In the car

And they'd go on

To do the shows

Wow

Yeah, I can't say for sure

That story's true

But it feels true

Yeah

Wouldn't shock you

If it was

Yeah

So by the time

He moves out to LA

He's on that

He's in it

He's on the ride

Right

And he's been

I've never been

A big speed guy

I've had

My dalliances

Yes

Very much so

I'm on the ride

I mean, not like right now

But

I only had that one

Experience of Adderall

That was enough of me

But the dalliances

He was

He was in it

Right

And he's riding hard

Him and his wife

Ain't getting along

On the count

That he was screwing

Everything that walked

I was on tour

I don't do it

And she took a fence to that

Yeah

You know

She was kind of uppity

Anyway

I don't even a rock star

No

Johnny wasn't living right

He was partying hard

He was going hard to paint

Well, he had this little

Camper trailer

Right

And he would go

Camping to get away from her

Camping

And camping was

Short for

Just drinking

And doing pills out in the desert

And

That sort of thing

And so he goes out

In like 1965

He goes camping

In the Los Padres

National Forest

And the story was

He was drunk

Left cigarette go

And started fire

That wasn't what happened

But

There was a huge

Court

He started this

Wild

The wildfire started

At his camp

Burned

508 acres

And apparently

This 508 acres

Was the

Rare

Already endangered

California

Condor

Nesting ground

And

All the luck

And

They went

They took him to court

The federal government

And I got the note here

The federal government

sued him

To the tune

Where is the number?

125,000 dollars

172 dollars

In damages

For the

Firefighting cost

And the habitat damage

And the damage

To the California

Condor

During the trial

The government

Attorneys argued

That the

The fire

Harmed the endangered

California

Condor

They didn't even know

How many of them were dead

Or how many of them

Was left

Park rangers testified

That he killed

All these

Condors

And that the fire

Started because

Of a cigarette

But then

A later investigation

Found out

Johnny didn't

Help this case

Johnny was

Standing in court

And they're giving

Him all this

Grief

About how

Much money

They're going to

Turn

The court against him

A little bit

It wasn't Johnny Cash

Thing to say ever

Yeah, it just sounds

Like a redneck

From Arkansas

I don't care about

You damn yellow bird

Yeah

Dude

That is

Johnny's testimony

Didn't hurt

But what I found out

Since it just recently

Digged down a rabbit hole

Was

It wasn't a cigarette

Started the fire

It was the

Wheel bearings

On his camper

He had this

Bonanza camper

And the wheel bearings

Had overheated

And started

The fire

Now

He was drunk

He did try to

Put out the fire

Quite clearly

Unsuccessfully

To the tune of

Five hundred

Eight acres

Unsuccessful

But

Not a single

Condor was killed

That was all a bit

None of them were killed

And the crazy

The backside

Of the story is

Is

The condors are

Doing way better now

Because of all

The conservation efforts

That sprung up

As a result of

Everybody being mad

At Johnny Cass

And thinking Johnny Cass

Killed off the condors

Everybody started

Donating money

To these stupid

Birds they'd never seen

And

It's wild, though

These yellow buzzers

The thing about the firefighters

Out there like

We gotta save these

Birds

We gotta put this fire out

Dude

It's

The fact

Well, first of all

The fact that he

Became the face of

Conservation for it

For that cause

In particular

Is hilarious

And I really

Hit him for a hundred

Twenty-five grand

Which was a little bit more

Money in 1965

Man, that's a lot of money

Back then

You know

I mean it's a lot of money

If somebody hit me

For a hundred twenty-five

Gram right now

I can just laugh at him

Like

Where do you want me

To get that?

I don't even have

Enough pounds of flesh

To cover that cough

Thankfully

Yeah

That was

My

What I love, though

Is

It was

They assumed it was

A cigarette

Like how did they find out

It was the

The bearings on the camper

Because

You would assume it was

Probably a cigarette

Where he just flicks it

And they can try

My smoker

I'm a former smoker

You don't

You just

My guess is

Some

Arson investigator

With the fire department

After the trial

Like looking at them

Wheel bearings like

Man

I like that

And that was a common

Thing back then

But the trial said

Cigarette

Yeah

The park rangers

Testified that it was

Cigarette

The fire department

Later came on

And said no

It was caused by these

Wheel bearings

But you know how

In the zeitgeist

Once a story's out there

It's out there

You know

Especially in the 60's

Where there was

Far less media

And once one media

Picked up a story

The story was

Johnny

In his book

Johnny went to his grave

Thinking he

Extincted this

Damn yellow buzzard

I don't

I'm not sure he was

Upset about it

I doubt he cared

I doubt it

He didn't seem

Remorseful

No

If he's probably

A yellow buzzard

He probably

Didn't think twice

After the trial

Was over

He'd probably

Done with it all

Because they said

There was like

50 condors at the time

Right

They were already

Endangered

At the time

There was 50 of these

California condors

But then all the

Conservation efforts

That happened after this

By the 80's

Now today

There's like

560 condors

And they're

About half of them

Anchor

Yeah

Almost one for every

Anchor he burned

See

That's a

Life's a circle

Yeah

Life's a circle

You know when they

He was like

You're welcome everybody

But let's be real

How many oil companies

Have extincted animals

That there's never been

A new story about

Never

It's animals

Nobody cared

Nobody did

I gave

Look

If I hadn't read a

Headline like

Oh no the California

Condors

Extinct

I know me well enough

To know that

Somebody's like

Oh did you know this bird

Went extinct

I'm like

Do we eat that one

Yeah

That one

Tastes like

But

If I read it in the

Headline

I'd be like

Oh my God

Why did Johnny do that

Oh yeah

It's

100%

And it's easier to

Get mad at one person

Who has that bad boy image

Than it is

Yeah

Just be like

Well it was an oil tanker

Easy target

Yeah

Oh 100%

Also

Stand it up in the courtroom

And say

I'll give a damn

True yellow buzzer

Yeah

No Exxon mobile executive

Is going to do

We're really sorry

About all the

Sea turtles

You know them seals can

Kiss my ass

To be honest with you

Can you imagine

An Exxon mobile executive

Them seals can

Kiss my ass

They don't even taste good

Why do y'all care

What do they do

Ain't nothing

I wonder if seal does

Taste good

I probably shouldn't

Wonder that

But

I eat most mammals

You know

I don't know

They got a lot of fat on them

Yeah

Well you got slow smoking

Yeah

You probably

I put that in my little

Easy bake oven

Yeah

Just 210 for about

12 hours

We'll liquefy that fat

We'll get it done

Yeah

I

You think it tastes more like

Most things out of the ocean

Taste gamey though

I was gonna say

You think it's more like

A fish taste

Or a game

Like a

I don't know

Cause like

I've had

I don't like

What is it

Calamari

Yeah

But not a fan

I'm not

I don't like

I used to like it when I was younger

I don't like it now

That kinda grosses me out

But I've had

Yeah

And stuff like that

I've had shark

Which was just gamey

But it's like

So we used to

Are shark different

So when we call it

We used to fish

Black-tipped shark

A lot

And when we call

Ones big enough

We would

Cut it up

Like fillet style

More or less

And then put it

In a ziplock bag

With some buttermilk

And let it sit

Overnight

Oh

Or refrigerator

And then we throw that

On the grill the next day

And take all that gamey

And that's out

But I've heard people

Using vinegar

And other stuff to do it

But I always kinda like

Shark

There's so many things

I haven't got to try

That I'd like to

Like I'd like to try

A little bear

Do they eat bear?

Yeah, I'm sure somebody

Eats bear

That's Kimose

They eat bear, didn't they?

Yeah

Indigenous people

Probably ate bear

I bet there's some place

Here

Y'all let us know

Is there a place

To get some good bear

Like if somebody

Make a bear

Is the McDonald's

In Alaska

Save a little

Big-back bear

Bear claw's not the same

Though

It's just a donut

But yeah

I don't

I think the weirdest thing

I've ever eaten

Was probably like

I'm gonna remember that joke

Next time I tell somebody

He's funny

Anyways

I'm thinking like

I think the weirdest thing

I'm gonna be telling somebody

That will go bear claw

Yeah

Nevermind

Bear's a pro

He's good

Hey, Jordan missed

His shot every once in a while

But like

I think the weirdest thing

I've ever eaten was like

Alligator

Or

Squirrel

But that's not that weird

Depending on where you're from

I grew up

I was gonna say

Depending on where you're from

Squirrel's pretty common

For somebody like me

The city folk

The city boy

The squirrel was weird

Yeah

But yeah

I think Alligator

Did you enjoy it?

Alligator or the squirrel?

No, not really

Not so much

I had dad and frog legs

In the same night

That's a lot to tackle when you're

Yeah

When you're just a McDonald's

Yeah

That's a lot

That's a lot of adventure

In one place

Yeah, it was not

Pleasant

I'm kinda here

There on frog legs

Squirrel

I used to love squirrel dumplings

Growing up

Well, I ain't had done

Squirrels

Dumplings?

Yeah, my memo used to

Make squirrel dumplings

Really?

Yeah

It's pretty damn good

Is it?

Took a lot of squirrels

So like, my mom

I was gonna say

That's a busy week

My pap

My pap all along

By her

He grew up during the

Depression

There in Tennessee

And they just

Pretty much

He used to tell me stories

About how his daddy

Gave him a 22 pistol

Long barrel pistol

Like a Ruger

And he'd give him one bullet

And he had to go out there

And shoot something

Because bullets

Were kind of expensive

Yeah, he had to go out there

And so he

They would eat rabbit

And squirrel

And all that kind of stuff

So even after him

My memo lived in Kilgore

And they were in their old age

Pomball's favorite thing to do

In the world

Especially during the fall

And get up

Take his little 410

Out in the woods

Behind their house

And bring down

A couple flying tree rats

And then

He would hang them up

At his carport

And dress them

And skin them

You know

Off the crossbars

Of his carport

I say that's crazy

But you know

Given how he grew up

And what he had to do

And they didn't have a lot

He was a retired truck driver

Living on a pension

And she had a little

Garage sale

And a little paper out

But they didn't have a lot

Of money

So it was

So they used to do that

I had

Softshell turtle stew

A couple of times

When I was young

I've had alligator

Snapping turtle

I remember this one time

This boy's going to show

You all my people

My cousin Dwayne

He's a little older than me

He got so excited

Because he killed

This alligator

Snapping turtle

About

You know

It's probably a good

Good size

It's a big old alligator

They get huge

But this is

A good size alligator

Snapping turtle

He killed it

And he drugged it up

The house

And I couldn't figure out

Why he was dragging it up

The house

And he was kind of

Doing it

Shot a lot of stuff

So I just

You know

Wasn't in common

For him to shoot

The neighbor's dog

Or something like that

He was like

You know

Some people was like

Shooting stuff

He was like shooting stuff

He was a

Pentecostal preacher

For a little while

And also

A cop

At the same time

Oh wow

And

Was kind of going back

And forth between the two

And I gave him shit

About hunting deer

Out of season one time

He goes

Let me tell you something

That's man's law

Not God's law

I was like

Boy

We are swimming

In justification now

I'm not stroking in it

And

Yeah

He dragged this big old

Alligator staff

And turtled up

And my aunt

Barbara Longmire

She was this

Like five foot five

Hot headed

Little Cajun

Pentecostal woman

Just black headed

Black hair

Bund up

On top of her head

Almost tall as she was

And she was a caterer

And a chef

That was her job

And she

Come running out

That house

With a big old knife

She said baby

There's seven kinds

Of meat on that

And she was

So excited

To get the work on that

Snapping turtle

Man

And I ain't no lie

I had a little bit of it

And some of them kinds of

Meat tasted different

Than the kind of meat

I'd been exposed to

I'm thinking like

What's under the shell

Is it all meat

Is it like

It's like opening up a

Can't tell you

I have never in my life

Since then

Requested alligator

Snapping turtle

No

I'm just like

Weirdest

Cause all you see

Is just the little feet

And the little head

And I'm like

How much meat

Could there be on a turtle

I guess there's

There's a good sized turtle

Wow

Yeah

So we did eat some

I never had

Nine new people

Eight possum

I never had none

But I've had

Raccoon meat

I've had a little

Really

Yeah

I've had a little

Raccoon

One night

I saw some people

This is in South Louisiana

And I pulled up the

South camp house

I rented

Say less

Anything is on limits

There

They used to be

Treating rats

They used to be

Running joke

Is the reason

There ain't no wells

In the Gulf of Mexico

Is cause

In the south of Louisiana

Found a big enough pot

It's good to both

But

These dudes

Had a

Nutria

You know what that is

Nutria rat

They had a

Nutria on a spit

Over a fire

And I was like

I'll take a cold beer

Yeah

I'm out

I did drink

One of their good

Coors lights

But I didn't have any

Nutria

Yeah

Maybe I missed out

I'm okay with missing out on it

Anyway

So

I feel terrible

For years

I've been telling people

Johnny Cash

Extincted a bird

He didn't know such thing

In fact

You might say

As a result

Of his malfeasance

He helped

The bird

Did better off

In the long run

You can't say

Oh it's a good thing

He burned that woods down

That bourbon

Never got saved

Cause

Probably lots of other

Shit died

In 500 acres

There's probably a lot of animals

In 500 and 8 acres

I wasn't gonna ask him

Any body

Any people

Yeah

You know

Never know

Our next time

Well

Segway

There we go

Go over here

This one really

Tripped me out

And didn't know about this dude

I saw a video about him

And it piqued my interest

And a lot of times

So you know

I do a lot of

I'm on social media

All the time

So a lot of times

I'll see a video about something

But I always gotta go look it up

Because

Just a lot of videos are bullshit

Yeah

There's so much AI out there

Yeah

And so

I had to go look this one up

And it was a story

About this dude

Name

Let me see

I pull his name up here

I don't forget

And those last names

McCollum

Darius McCollum

A young black kid

In New York City

He's in Queens

Born in 65

Also something happened in 65

While Johnny Cash was

Burning down

Burning

While Johnny Cash was

Saving the condors

Darius McCollum was born

In Queens, New York

Darius McCollum

Had at what the time

They labeled as

Aspergers

I think they have a different name

For it now

Because they don't like that guy

But I'm not sure

But regardless

He was neurodivergent

And if you can imagine

In the 60s

He didn't have a good time in school

Kids were a little mean to him

Because he was peculiar

One of his peculiarities

Was he was actually in love with trains

Subway trains

Love trains

Which is a common thread

I think I have the only neurodivergent kid

That doesn't like trains

Really?

Yeah, my son don't give a shit about trains

He got your train

He's like, no thanks

Nah, it's not his thing

He doesn't care about trains

But logos, he loves logos

Really?

He can tell you every fox logo

Throughout the history of time

And how they've evolved

He can tell you every Burger King logo

And how they've evolved

And what years they changed

His thing is logos

And he builds logos out of Legos

Really?

Yeah

That's all he does

When he's on Minecraft

Me and him have a whole world together

On Minecraft where we play together

And I'll build stuff

And he'll build stuff in what he builds

His replica of all the restaurants

He builds Ikea replicas

And logos

That's a bit

And so we have this whole world

We've been working in for like four or five years

It's just this flat world

And it's just full of giant logos

And build it

And show it

We even got to show Biz Pizza

Oh wow

Yeah, that's old school

We went old school

The dude's obsessed with it

But Darius

Darius was in trains

Especially the New York City subway system

From early, early childhood

And he was having hell in school

Kids were picking on him

He's about 14, 15 years old

Some kid takes a pair of scissors

And tries to stab him

And he gets whatever

They just didn't care as much back then

And the system was easy to be in

They didn't know as much

But they also weren't as sensitive

No

Yeah

And he got

He gets out of school

And he stops going to school

And he starts hanging out at the subway system

And because he's obsessed with these subway trains

He starts hanging out with

All the transit workers

Not the transients

But the transit workers

And they befriended him

They loved this kid

He's so interested in their job

There's a documentary about this dude

Called Off the Rails

I'm going to watch it

It came out in 2016

And they were joking

Kind of in one part of it

They said these subway guys

Like, hey man

Do you want to learn how the train works?

They get, there's no way

A 15 year old is going to remember how a train works

But the thing about

It's different

The thing about people that are neurodivergent

Is they don't forget shit

And so this kid

Tucked it away in his little encyclopedia

This is how a train works

One day he's 15, 16 years old

One of these transit workers says

Hey man

I got a little side piece

I want to go here

I want to go meet this gal

And could you cover my shift for a little while

You seem to know how the trains work really good

Could you just, just rush hour

You just got to run the train

And kids like, hell yeah

Darius takes over the train

And operates it

Didn't break a rule

Didn't break any laws

Outside of he wasn't supposed to be operating the train

Operates the train perfectly

Does a great job

Gave the announcements correctly

Made all the scheduled stops

Most of the passengers

Had no idea anything unusual had happened

Except for one Karen

Or Greg

Who's called 911

And said hey

There's a 15 year old running the train

I'm on that feels weird

And the law shows up in arresting

And at 15 years old

They give him a felony

And lock him up

Right, and it's not even in a

He's in a juvenile system for a little bit

But then they just move him over to the adult system

I assume because he's 15

And black and New York in the 60s

They don't care

And he

He goes to prison

Gets a felony

So guess what

When you have a felony

You can never be a transit worker

You can never be an MTA employee

Which is wild to me

Because where do they get them?

Because I just assumed it was all felons doing that

I thought it was like the oil field

Like hey we need a couple felons

They're resourceful

And that began a cycle

Because when he got out of jail

The first thing he does is go hang out in the subway system

What does he do?

He starts to hang around

Over 40 years

He's arrested and sentenced 30 plus times

For operating subway trains without authorization

Driving buses from depots

Entering restricted transit facilities

Posing as an MTA employee

Uniform, badge, radio, everything accurate

He found out how to tell

He found out how to get a uniform

And get in there and figure out

When somebody called in sick

And so then he would just show up

And cover their shift

Never got paid by the MTA

That was amazing

Just showed up and did an excellent job for free

And got arrested for it

They sent this dude to Riker

A guy with Aspergers in Riker's prison

He got married at some point

He never hurt anyone

He never damaged any equipment

He never tried to profit

He never resisted arrest

Riker's Island is crazy

And he got sent to Rikers

That's crazy

He simply wanted to participate in the system he loved

He wanted to be a part of the trade

He got married at some point

In between one of his jailstays

He marries this old gal

And she decides he's cheating on him

Because she can't find him at night

He's sneaking out of the house at night

So she hires a private investigator

Private investigator goes to the subway

But he's like, no, he's just hanging out down here with trains

And there's like a thing

In the divorce proceedings

She's like, I felt like he loved something other than me

And he's like, yeah, I love trains more than you

Yeah

I thought I was very clear about that

I love you, but I love trains more

How did you not get that?

Each time he was released

I went to jail 40 times for trains

I wouldn't go to jail once for you

That's love

That's real love

Man, the messed up thing that I read

That really shook me

Was that he knew the New York City subway system

Better than anybody

He knew it so well

Yeah

That after 9-11 happened

Homeland security

He was in prison in Rikers at the time

Homeland security

Goes and pulls him out of prison

So that he can teach them

How to protect the subway system

From terrorist attacks

And he does

Willigly, he's eager to help

And then they get done, they throw him back in Rikers

God, I hate us

I hate us so much for stuff like that

You know what I mean?

Well, they treat him like a repeat offender

That's the way with the disability

He has repeatedly been given a job in the transit system

Supervised structured work

Any legal way to be part of it

The MTA refused every time

They said it was because of liability

He said to Rikers and state prisons

Places that only worsened his mental health

And sense of meaning

His love was pathologized

His obsession was punished

He just wanted to be a part of this thing

He loved, what if the thing you love

You were talking about this last time

What if the thing you love most in the world

Became illegal to you?

That was his quote, he said that

That was his quote

I didn't see that

I guess it was in an interview he did

He said imagine the thing you love the most

Is also illegal

Or something like that

And it's just like

Yeah, I mean

I told you what if comedy was illegal

What if podcasting was illegal

And look

There are places in the world where both

You know

In communist countries

Or places like where you can't do

You can't talk fully

And imagine that

You went and did a comedy show

And it arrested you

And put you in prison with

Murders and rapists and all the awful

It's the Lenny Bruce thing

Would you just keep doing it

If you kept getting arrested for doing something people didn't like

You know what, I love comedy

But I don't know if I would do 40 different

I don't know how many times I would go to prison

About comedy, I think I would just

You know what

I'm just gonna go back to project management and IT

That's a little safer

I would just go back to construction

And tell jokes on the job site

Well my audience is smaller

But they're a better audience

And I don't go to prison anymore

Cause I don't think it's still illegal

If you're like hammered a nail when you tell a joke

Or is it only if you're on stage with a microphone

I have a lot of questions about comedy being illegal

Is it illegal to laugh

Is it

Is the audience getting in trouble too

Like what if laughing was illegal

Would you still do comedy

That's funny

Are they getting hit by people felonies

It's like a drug dealer

Now you're dispensing the drugs

I'm just supplying the people what they want

They're gonna get it somehow

They're gonna get it from me or someone else

That's the people with the guns and everything

If you got a lot of guns people gonna make them

People should go get them

If you outlaw the laugh

People still won't get them

If you outlaw anything like that

There's always gonna be somebody to supply it

That's a funny

Funny idea

This is a crazy story

It's kind of funny on the surface

But it's heartbreaking

And then they committed him to a mental hospital

So permanently

I got him out of prison

And I think he's still in a mental hospital now

Well, I think if you had your choice

Yeah

I know they don't do a lot of shock therapy anymore

Right

You just wonder

Just to be able to get away from

Some of the criminals

That you would be around

What are you in for

I like trains

That's crazy

I have a passion for trains

I like doing this one job

Really really good

And not hurting anybody when I do it

And making sure people are safe

And get to their destination on time

That's what I like

I like order

I like when the subway system works correctly

I just want that to happen

You know

We gotta lock you up bro

They say stole

It's not like he took them home

But they estimate he stole

5000 trains in his career

Damn

The thing that bugs me is

That's 5000 times this dude

Showed up for work and didn't get paid

They tell you something

Right

I almost didn't come do this show

Because I didn't get paid

It just takes me one time

You don't get paid

I guess I'm dragging up today

I got stories for days about my money

Like uh uh

I work in Orfield

I have drugged up over way simpler shit

Than not getting paid

I think I told you this

I did a corporate gig

I think I was like we're gonna send you a check

I said buddy I'm not leaving here without my money

What

I was like yeah man

I made him go he sent somebody

With his ATM card

To go get some money out of his bank

He took money out of the tip jar

I was like you sell that with them later

I'm not leaving

I got to go home

Shit that's no

But I

Imagine

This happening today

Do you think he would be treated different

Do you think knowing what we know now

About Asperger's or whatever

Yes I do

Do you think that it would be

He would be villainized

And criminalized

Look there's still stories of neurodivergent people

Being treated poorly

Being shot by police

Because they don't understand

But I do think

I believe this just because of the stuff I've read

Is that

A lot of police departments across the country

Have spent some time training their officers

To understand neurodivergent people with autism

Better because they're trying to make

Those situations are expensive

They get sued it's not good for the city

So they're trying to teach them

And they're actually starting

A lot of cities are starting to use

Like social workers

And more

Mental health professionals

To help with those type of situations

We were in downtown San Antonio

And you know

Broad daylight it's not a big thing

To drive around and see eight or nine people

Walking up down the street talking to themselves

And you can clearly tell that they're unhoused

And there's something going on

That's not some sand actions aren't firing

And stuff like that

It's a remarkable part

You don't want to be

I mean

It's a tricky

There's no black and white problem

There's

You don't want these people to be a danger

To the public which could be a scenario

Schizophrenia can be

Violent

Not as often as people think but it can be

People

Addicted substances can be violent

People with mental issues can be violent

So there is

You have to go okay we gotta protect the public

Which is a tricky situation

To be in because you also don't want to be heartless

These are human beings

That something horrible is happening to them

You know okay you can say in the drug situation

Or they made your choices whatever

That's fine

You can say that

Then good for you

But

People with mental health issues didn't make any choices

This shit just happens to them

And it's

But at some point you do have to draw a line

Where it's like oh there's a public safety problem

It's not a

Look it's a problem I'm glad nobody's asked me how to solve

You know what I mean because it's murky

It's murky as hell

I feel like and I'm kind of surprised

That he's still

In an institution

Because you would think with what we know now

And what would

Nobody has stepped up and stepped in

And said look this guy isn't crazy

He's not insane

He's just

He's just obsessed

In a way that someone with Asperger's

Would be obsessed

And it's you know

I feel like today if this were to happen

Especially with social media now

I don't think they would give a 15 year old a felon

No

First of all I don't think so

Because they screwed him right there

I would love to think that humanity

Would win

In that they would say alright

When you become of age

We'll give you a job

Doing something that's supervised

And you know like

Just allow him to

Do this passion and get paid for it

That he's good at

Don't prisons have trains?

Isn't there a train somewhere you can drive?

I don't know

If I hit my diamond here money

I'm about to train

I'm gonna see if I can get Darius out of

A mental health facility

I'm just gonna let him drive my train

You know what I mean?

I'll give him a bunch of stops

That'll just be my show

We're going here and here

Buy a big piece of property build a little train track

That was the other thing though

He did take buses

That was like well alright

Now you're branching out bro

Let's not bup shot this

I don't want him hanging out at the airport

No

Because right now he can still play pretty easy

You know

Good evening ladies and gentlemen

And I'm captain McCallum

Nope let me off

I just remember

I just remember when I'm sick

I need off the flight

It kind of broke my heart

Reading that story and I was wildly fascinated

With it and I wanted to talk about it here

Because I feel like more people should know about

Some of y'all are really smart

You probably already know about this dude

I'm just kidding

Some of you have never

Probably my fans watching

That's what I'm talking to

It's just wild

It's wild

I can't

I consider myself a passionate human

About a few things

But I don't know if I got that kind of passion

I think first time somebody put me in

Rikers I'd be like well shit man

I guess I'm going to take up origami next

But you know

You don't have aspergers or

You're not neurodiversion

And so that

You have that ability to rationalize

That's what

Punishments like that are for

It's like you did something bad

This is the punishment

To deter you from doing it again

But someone that's neurodivergent doesn't understand that

They fixate on the passion

This is just the thing I got to get through

So I can go do what I want to do

The consequences are like whatever

But I just want to do this

And that's where society failed him

It's not understanding that

Yeah I just feel like

It might have been handled differently

I don't know what the right answer is

I'm not claiming to have all the answers

And it's easy to look back

And go well y'all really screwed the pooch here

You know what I mean

It's easy to look back at him

Make judgments about everybody involved with it

But I tell you the person I would like to see

Interviewed is that dickhead that let him

Drive the train the first time while he went off

To go do whatever

Like how do you feel bro?

Yeah you started this

You've been awful quiet since that first arrest

Yeah I wonder if

When you were saying that I was like

I wonder if that dude got in trouble

Did he get fired?

Surely he got fired at least

I bet he can't be an MTA employee again

Better not at least in New York

I mean y'all could have let the kid take tickets

Or something

It's the thing where

Homeland security uses him

That's kind of disgusting

That couldn't just be his job

Y'all could have just kept him on staff

He wasn't even asking for money

Well it's crazy and sad

He wasn't even asking for money

You could just put him up in the house

And be like this is our director of subway trains

Do you know how many people would have used that

To get out? I'll help you

But again that's his brain

Doesn't function like that

They were like you want to help us with some train stuff

He's like yes train

We think you know more about this

Let's do it

Had he had good lawyer

We're worried about terrorists blowing up the trains

We can't have that

What about his family

No one in his family

I don't know

I couldn't find much about that

Nobody was like oh hey

I'm his lawyer you want him to help you

Sure but you have to let him out

Maybe that's why he went to the mental

Institution instead

Maybe they negotiated that

If you help us we'll get you out of here

Somewhere where it's a better quality of life

If you're already struggling with

Clearly he wasn't just neurodivergent

He was struggling with some mental health issues

If you're already struggling with that

And then

I can't imagine

Prisons helpful for mental health issues

I can't imagine being

Around a bunch of psychopaths

And miscreants

Trying to get a good night's sleep

Everybody just screaming hollering all night

The guy above me

Is stomping and I'm losing my shit

It's just

I couldn't even imagine

A thousand guys around

You screaming hollering

Our third story

Is a gym

I got

So tickled about this

I really want to write a movie about it

It shocked me that

Me and Rachel were having

A conversation

And we were trying

Because I was painting my screen porch

And I was using a paint roller to paint the floor

And I said

You know the first guy that showed up on the job site

With a paint roller everybody was like

Shit is that, let me get one of them

You know what man, that ain't bad as hell

Look at the paint you just put up that wall

And I just assumed

Like most things

The paint roller was probably

You know invented in the

1600s by the Sumerians

Or whoever the shit was inventing stuff back then

Somebody wrapped a cat

Around a

Thing and dipped it in paint and painted

Some chapel or something

And I was surprised to learn

That paint rollers were only invented in the 40s

During World War II

Because

There was a shortage of paint brushes

There was a shortage of a lot of things during World War II

But one of the things

That was going on during that period of time

Was there was a

Most of the paint brushes in the world

Were made

With Chinese borer bristles

This is before they had all the

Synthetics, the Nylons and all that

So everybody depended on these Chinese

Borer

Pig bristles and they bought them from China

Now was it the hair or the whiskers

The bristles

So they would buy them

From the Chinese

Chinese were exporting this

If you wanted Chinese pig bristles

I don't know why the Chinese borer pig bristles

Were better than the Russian borer pig bristles

I can't tell you that

I didn't read that much into it

But then I found

About this Cold War operation

Called operation

Pig bristle

It just sounds like

It just sounds like two dudes in a truck

In the middle of

It sounds like something my people

I was going to say it was like two dudes in a truck

In the middle of Kentucky

Which were not far off, it's the Australians

Pretty close

We're talking about Australians here

See the late state

In World War II there was a housing boom

In Australia

This huge construction boom going on

But it was being hindered

By a lack of paint brushes

You would never thought that

You couldn't wipe on the stain

That takes a rag

We'll paint it later

Nobody had invented the sprayer yet

I ain't sitting by painting a house with a paint brush

In ten years

We'll just do it later

When the war is over

Yeah, okay

This was holding up the building industry

It was a national problem in Australia

So the Australian

Royal Air Force

At the time, China is going through

Their own civil war

And all exports out of China are screwed up

And everything is jacked up because of that

And the communists are winning

And it's not going great

And some of these Chinese diplomats

That still know some of the Royal

Australian Air Force people

Say, hey

We happen to know

Where there's 25 tons

Of Chinese

Boar paint brushes

That's a lot of paint

25 tons of hair

You imagine?

Yeah, I mean

If you added up all Dolly Parton's wigs

And my beard

It might not be 25 tons of hair

And companies were trying to invent nylon

And some of that was happening in the United States

They were experimenting nylon

DuPont was experimenting with synthetic fibers

The United States took a different approach

The Canadians invented paint rollers

And then a guy in the US

Because the Canadians forgot the patent

He goes, hey, I just invented this thing called a paint roller

And paint rollers were all the rage

In the US already

But the Australians

Go, hey

We're coming to get them pig bristles

And there was a whole operation

That's crazy

Where these four to five heroes

From the Royal Australian Air Force

Fly a Dakota aircraft

Into China

Into Communist China

Load up 25 tons of pig bristles

Fly it into Shanghai

Which at the time was on the free side of things

And then smuggle it back into Australia

And I just

That's wild

For one, the idea

Well, there was no losses

They survived

So the idea

That somewhere in Australia

There was this old timer veteran

And his big war story was

I stoke 25 tons of hair

From them kind of godless communists

Those red devils didn't even catch me

Papa, why was he still in Bourbon

I don't know, do y'all call him papa in Australia

Whatever they got

Papa probably means some kind of killer animal

In Australia

Granddaddy

You wouldn't have this house if it weren't for me

Nobody would

I was thinking about this, I was like

Tits are, there's some boomer age

Once again, I don't know if Australia had baby boomers

Because that was kind of the North American thing

And I bet boomer means something completely different

That's like a guy that hangs out

Down in the swamp or something

Or boomer is probably a train

In Australia

Let me borrow you a boomer

But some boomer age in Australia

At some point trying to get his

Gen X age sons attention

Like you know what your granddaddy is

You like living in houses

You better go thank your granddaddy

And for him we were about to run plum out of house

I don't know what my Australian sounds like

Appalachian

It's just the voice I have

Plum out

Any impression I do ends up Australian

Plum out of houses

All the way to Perth

Your granddaddy saved us

You better go

So yeah you're going to pick him up from the nursing home

You ungrateful bastard

It also

Like the talk before

Because you always see that in the war movies

Like men

Flying in the dangerous territory

You go it up against these

Godless communists

And if you're captured

You may end up

We'll have to deny any existence

We can't come get you

You may very well end up in a

Communist prison

A life

But your nation needs these paint brushes

This is a matter of national

Security

That's what's crazy is it's like

Wait what are we going to get

We're not blowing

Something up

We're risking life

And capture from pig hair

It's bigger than that

It sounds pretty cut and dry

It sounds like we're going to get 25 tons of pig hair

Can I just bomb somebody

Can I switch teams and bomb

I just want a new platoon or whatever

Nobody tried finger painting

Can we just paint this shit later

Because I got plans

Give me one of the cotton garden gloves

I'll dip it in the paint and just smear it on the house

I'll just use a rag

Yeah

We can come up with all kinds of ideas

Anybody just want to do stucco

Can we just do

It's like a well thing

That reveals how fragile infrastructure is

One thing can get in the way

Of infrastructure

One little thing can shut everything down

My book is being delayed right now

Because

Because most of the books are printed in India

And there's stuff going on because of the tariffs

And it's got things screwed up

And one little thing can get in the way

Of everything, especially in a global economy

One little problem can start

Everything

That's just wild to me

I do think your idea of making this a movie

Is really smart

I think it's freaking hilarious

It's one part war movie

One part dude, where's my car

I was going to say, when you wrote it

Would it be serious

Would it be a comedy?

No, I'm calling

I'm calling the Cohen brothers

Because you can work out

You're great at comedy obviously

But you're great at

Being serious

And sermons and all the things

I won't shy la boof

I mean, I'm seeing

I won't shy la boof and John Burkle

And somebody Australian

Give me that break dancer chick

Give me that Australian break dancer chick

She'll be on the flight

That's the only famous Australian I know right now

Another famous one died

Yeah, I can see this

Get his kid, we'll let him be one of the Air Force

Oh yeah, I love that

I can see this as that

Operation Pig Bristle

They really called it that

That's not a good secret operation name

Yeah, come up with something else

You could be like Operation Paintbrush

And people would be like, wonder what they're doing

Man, this is going to be

I can't wait to read your script

Operation Pig Bristle tells you

What they thought about the Chinese

They ain't going to know what the hell we're talking about

They're dumb

They're language is tree house, tree house, cat

They ain't going to know what we're coming to get

Squiggly lion over another squiggly lion

Divided by a lion

Yeah, cat

But it's also heroic

Like, you gotta smuggle

Some shit out of China

They're like one of the craziest

Periods of the history

Like, you were going up against some real bad dudes

You know?

That's wild

I wonder if they even told them

We need you to fly in China

Don't look in the briefcase

Yeah, don't look in the briefcase

Just go and get it and bring it back

We told them they'd be like, hell no

I quit

Take all my ribbons and my shit

I quit

We noticed on the way back the plane smells weird now

What's that?

Because

25 tons of pig bristles can't smell good

One ton

And there are tons in Australia

So they're spelled T-O-N-N-E-S

Which I don't know if that's a bigger ton than our ton

Really? Oh, now I gotta look that up

Yeah

I didn't even think about the smell on the plane

Phew

That smell like a can of smashed ass

That was horrible

Horrible

And then you get it back and you're like, alright

Now what? They're like, will

I also feel bad for the guys who finally

Got our vacation from making paint brushes

And then these assholes show up

They're like, who?

Bro, I was gonna take my kids down to the coast

We were gonna hang out

Australian Disney

Yeah

Everything in Australian Disney wants to kill you too

Yeah

Yeah, that's wild dude

The other thing is

Like if you're planning that mission

You've got to

How do you not, me

I couldn't be in the room with all the people

Planning this and not just laugh every time they're like

And then you're gonna take the pig hair

What? What?

Yes, it's just

It seems silly

We need it

That's crazy

Alright, let's wrap it up right there guys

This is appreciate you hanging out for nonsense

We'll be back to our regularly scheduled

Programming next week

Back in the wrecking yard

Anything else on that?

We'll move on

Let's do some testimonials

Do you got anything you want to plug before we get out?

Anything coming up?

No, not really

Nothing big, just

Sounds like it's going well

Well, you know

This comedy thing is killing it

It is

I will be

We will be in Mississippi together

We're gonna be in Macomb, Mississippi

November 15th

Doing one show, big car show during the day

I'll be up there at the car show

I'm excited to go to Mississippi

Because one of my heroes Jerry Clower

Who's the granddaddy

Of Southern storytelling

And a great deal of influence

On my entire personality

Of my being growing up

Jerry Clower is buried right there

In Liberty, Mississippi

Actually, I looked it up

It looks like it's spelled M-I-Rite, Mississippi

Which maybe you laugh a little bit

The M-I-Rite Cemetery

Anyway, it's about 10 miles from the theater

So I'm gonna make the pilgrimage out there

And pay some respect

To the granddaddy

Of all Southern legacy

And Southern storytelling

You gotta go out there and see old Jerry

And make sure you're right

If you don't know who that is, you gotta look him up

If you're watching this

You don't know who Jerry Clower is

I'm disappointed

Let's do some testimonials

These are some comments

I always go into my dusty...

Testimonials, if you will

But I can't do too much that

Because then I get stuck in dusty roads

I was watching Cody Rhodes

Do an interview

And I never realized he kinda has the list

He bites it

But if you watch his mouth when he talks

He kinda has the list

And he does a really great impression

Of his father

He slips into it really well

I was like, bro, if you did that

Everybody would love you more

Everybody already loved you, Cody Rhodes

I would love you more

You're the son of the dream, baby

Anyway, let's do some testimonials

If you will

See, I fall into it

I love dusty

This is our

Comments from last week

Our old buddy at Gettin' Greasy Garage

2435

When you talk about the title of this week's podcast

As I've talked about some addiction

Pills and the title is called

The Devil Ain't A Who

When you talk about the title

This week's podcast really hit me

Almost made me feel like your point

Your finger at me directly

Recovering an alcoholic of six years

Is taking high powered drugs from our recent surgery

And how dangerous that can be

I'm being very cautious about it

So thank you for the up front reminder

It's why I love you and appreciate you too, J.W.

Our buddy Gettin' Greasy

He's a day oneer

And if you guys haven't been fallin' along

I meant to talk about it a while back

He's had a number of spine surgeries

Now at this point

He had some stuff go wrong for him

Earlier on in the year

It got worse before they figured out

To do some surgery on him

I have talked to him a little bit

He is, I think he's on the

Upside of this thing

Any sort of positive energy

You know, especially day oneers

Can put out for a fellow day oneer

That's really going through something

And good for you man

For being in a few years

Struggling with alcohol and you beat it

I don't think utilizing pain medicine

In the way that it's necessary

Is going to be a problem for you

It sounds like you're already in front of it

And I'm really happy here

You're doing better buddy

I am a person

Who's never really struggled with alcohol

But I struggled with those pills

Got ahold of me and took me to task

You know, I did

I had dialysis with cocaine

And stuff when I was younger

But I never felt like I was addicted to it

Every time I quit, all three times

It was very easy though

Every time I quit cocaine it was very easy

I just deleted a couple of numbers out of my phone

And stopped going to a few bars

And it was easy to quit

It wasn't like cigarettes where they're everywhere

I think the thing with the pain pills

That got me the worst was because

Originally it was my doctor

Giving them to me and I was like

I need this, the doctor's giving them to me

And this isn't like I'm doing drugs

And I wasn't doing them recreational

And I think that's where they get people

In the time since I released

That little talk about it

I've had so many people reach out to me

And tell me their stories

There's just so many stories

Of people just

Medical procedure, dental procedure

Got in a car wreck

You know, it's just a lot of it's back stuff

Because back pain is the worst

You know, when you're jacked up

Anyways, getting greasy

You know, much time root for everybody

You know I'm rooting for you, baby boy

I hate that you've been dealing with all this stuff

But I like hearing you're on the upside of it

And please once again

Pass along my thanks to your son

Who reached out to me

While you were recovering from surgery

To let me know how you were doing

Because it really put my mind at ease

And I really appreciated that

Let's see, at it'll be

A Christian medal award

I'm gonna see him today

This will air Sunday, I will have already been

At the lemons race, I'm going down

For 24 hours of lemon, what's left of it

Like the last four hours of it

Sunday, once we get back to town

I'm gonna run down to Angleton

And hang out with my buddies at the racetrack

And make fun of some cars

And see my good buddy Christian Menel Ward

Who introduced me to lemons racer

He's also one of the hosts of

The Everyone Racers podcast

My main sponsor

My first season of the wrecking yard

And even into the second season

They're a wonderful bunch of people

I love their podcast, you should check it out

At Christian Menel Ward says

I also would have sworn termites

Don't eat cedar as well

Bro, I would have bet cash money on that

You know, I would have

Backed that up to the gates of hell

You gotta worry about no termites, you got no cedar

But they damn sure ate all my good cedar

And so I don't know if I got

Mutant Houston termites

Or what are these special termites

I was told all my life that seedlers

Got these terpenoids in it

These little oils, and I know it rejects ticks

That's why they make dog beds and cat beds

Out of it and stuff like that

A lot of different folks writing moths

But I would have sworn

That they wouldn't let

They'd run off termite

Apparently nothing except

Latex paint

Keeps terbiting it like

If you paint something really well, they won't get into it

Well, you know what you need to do that

Pig bristles

See, that's what happened

Because Australians got the way of my cedar

My cedar's ruined

But it's the Australian's fault

I'm 100% sure of it

There hadn't been a shortage

Shortage

Boy, I felt like a diesel truck trying to start

There where I'm at

Hadn't been a shortage of pig bristles

Yeah

That's funny

At Campcat 6089

I was hit head on by a drunk driver

And got messed up for a bit

The doctors only wanted to give me pills

I saw what they did and my family members

Finished off my brother-in-law

And nearly my brother

Thank goodness the info was out when I got hurt

So I was lucky to dodge that demon

I had so much respect for people that had the strength

To fight and win

A chiropractor saved my life

Believe in them or not, I do

Man, I'm so glad you didn't get caught up

In that mess

And I know a lot of people have a lot of opinions

About chiropractic

And there's a lot of controversy about it

But I have used them

Off and on over the years

For a number of things that they've helped me with

Now

I don't go to chiropractor when

You know, I think I got a brain tumor

Or something like that

Man, this hip, I went to chiropractor

And helped me out quite a bit

And gave me a lot of relief from it

So there's stuff I think

But I'm also a person who believes in

Yoga

And I believe in aligning your muscles

And stretching and stuff like that

Helps you too. I just recently started doing some tai chi

Oh yeah?

In the mornings, and that tai chi is making me

Feel real good, Bubba. It's supposed to be real good

For your mobility. I look ridiculous

Doing it, but boy, I get out of that backyard

And start kung fu fighting

It feels good, man

It also kind of makes you feel like you might

Conduce some karate

Not like real good karate, but like Steven Seagal

Karate

Where you just grab a guy and he goes down

That's what the tai chi makes me

Feel like maybe I could just

Put Barry on the ground

Like

You know?

Man, I had a pinched nerve in my C67

In my vertebrae

And I went to one of the

Best

Doctors around

Orthopedic doctors up there

In the Woodlands, and he sent me

To this guy who was a physical therapist

And a chiropractor

There's a view of him

And we would go in

And the first thing he would do

Would

Do a bunch of chiropractic stuff, I mean

Then have me do some physical therapy

Exercises, and I had lost

98% of the strength in my tricep

Because of the pinched nerve, like I couldn't turn

My steering wheel, that's how I knew

That's how those things work, they're so screwed

I went one day to turn my car and I was like

The steering wheel was heavy

That's what happened to Greasy Grot

Like he had spine damage

And his hands stopped working, he was like

I can't remember all of it, but I know

He was like having hand control

I went in and

I'm back on 100%

I'm gonna have an issue

Get me that chiropractor

I need you to start on my neck

And work your way down

My grip is messed up

You can either provide your grip

Or fix my grip

Your choice

I believe in a man

My wife is a nurse

That's part of my positive mental health

That release

That's funny

Let's wrap this thing up

I'll tell you guys

I've been considering something lately

And it sort of tied all those stories together

We live in a culture

That keeps telling us

That meaning arrives with spectacle

That you'll know

Your life mattered

Because there was a pause

Or a headline

Or someone stood up and said your name in a room

But the older I get

The more I realize that's a

It's a very childlike understanding of significance

Most of the world

Is held together

By people

Whose names you'll never know

Whose actions you were never meant to notice

An Australian flight crew

Wrists diplomatic crisis

Over a cargo hold of pig bristles

So a nation can keep building homes

A man and queen studies the subway system

Until it becomes the language of his heart

And all he ever wanted

Was to belong to the rhythm of the city

He felt born into

Johnny Cash gets drunk in a national forest

And without intention or malice

Changes the trajectory

Of an entire species

Because everything in this world

Whether we like it or not

Is connected to everything else

And it's not just personal stories either

History itself

Is shaped by these quiet hinges

I was looking for

An example and I read about a really crazy one

World War I

The war that broke empires

Rearranged borders

And set the entire stage

For the century that followed

Did not begin

Because kings made speeches

Or generals drew plans

It didn't

Start because

Of anything like that

It began because a chauffeur

In Sarajevo

Took a wrong turn

One wrong turn

One stalled car

One moment of confusion in city traffic

And the world caught fire

The Archduke

Was assassinated

And the Duchess assassinated

If there's a lesson there

It isn't heroic

It's humble

Small things are not small things

The hinge of history

Is almost always a quiet joint

Someone else thought was trivial

The day keeps its shape because of the man

Who shows up when it's inconvenient

The woman who keeps one particular promise

The friend who answers the phone

Even though they're tired

And don't have the right words

Civilization is

Not held together by greatness

It's held together by care

By the smallest acts of steadiness

By mercy so ordinary

We forget there are mercies at all

Purpose ain't a spotlight

Purpose is a posture

That's how you move through the world

When nobody's watching

That's how you tend the parts of your life

That look unimportant

But are actually holding the roof up

So take care

Take care with your words

Take care with your time

Take care with the people

Who cross your path for only a moment

Because the quiet things

Are the load bearing things

The sacred is

Rarely loud

The sacred is the mundane

It arrives softly

And it leaves the same way

Unless someone's paying attention

I'm rooting for you guys

I'll tell you that every week

I'll tell you that until you believe it yourself

Pay attention to what's going on

The world around you

Pay attention to the ways that you can make the mundane

A little better

Because when you get to the end of your life

I don't think you're going to be thinking about the big moments

I think when I'm at the end of my life

I'm going to think about sitting on the porch with Rachel

I'm going to think about the time my kid was playing soccer

And instead ended up catching butterflies

I'm not going to think about the big moments

I'm not going to think about birthdays

And weddings and anniversaries

The sacred is in the mundane

I'm JW

And I love you

You

The mundane is sacred |S:03E.72

Ford Model T

Ford Rangers

wheel bearings

Porsche 911

About this episode

Original notes