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The mundane is sacred |S:03E.72
The mundane is sacred |S:03E.72
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About this episode
Harry Wayne Longmire and comedian Barry Laminac share humorous anecdotes from their recent comedy tour, including a 13-person show in San Antonio and their experiences in a bar filled with younger patrons. They dive into a fascinating story about Johnny Cash's accidental role in a wildfire that impacted California condors, revealing misconceptions about the incident. The episode also highlights the life of Darius McCollum, a neurodivergent man who repeatedly operated subway trains out of passion, facing legal consequences for his actions. The conversation emphasizes the importance of the mundane and the quiet acts that shape our lives.
Topics:
wheel bearing
How important are the little things? The longer I'm here, the more their value seems to climb. There's even historical precedent.
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Technical
Too Afraid to Ask
Car
Ford Model T
"His first Uber car was a Model T"
The Ford Model T is a very old car that was made a long time ago, from 1908 to 1927. It was important because it was one of the first cars that many people could afford to buy.
The Ford Model T was the first mass-produced car, revolutionizing the automotive industry with its affordability and assembly line production. It was produced from 1908 to 1927 and is often credited with putting America on wheels.
Car
Ford Rangers
"Was left Park rangers testified That he killed"
The Ford Ranger is a small truck that can carry things in its bed and is good for driving on rough roads. People like it because it's useful for both work and fun activities.
The Ford Ranger is a compact pickup truck known for its versatility and off-road capabilities. It has been popular among both work and leisure users, making it a significant model in Ford's lineup since its introduction in the 1980s.
Part
wheel bearings
"...it was caused by these Wheel bearings"
Wheel bearings help the wheels turn smoothly. They are important for keeping the car stable and safe while driving.
Wheel bearings are crucial components that allow the wheels to rotate smoothly and support the vehicle's weight. They reduce friction between the wheel and axle, ensuring safe and efficient operation of the vehicle.
Car
Porsche 911
"Or Greg Who's called 911 And said hey"
The Porsche 911 is a fancy sports car that looks cool and goes really fast. It's famous for being fun to drive and is loved by car enthusiasts all over the world.
The Porsche 911 is a high-performance sports car that has become an icon in the automotive world since its debut in the 1960s. Known for its distinctive design and exceptional handling, it represents the pinnacle of engineering and driving pleasure.
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Music
Pre-steal crack higher and buy you air-crack The sun's in the creek side, it's faking fast
Are you really digging for peace Or is that just a lie tell to help you sleep
Welcome to the wrecking yard, I'm Harry Wayne Longmar Y'all, presumably still y'all
Everybody's welcome here in the church of internal combustion
We just asked that you show up with an open heart
You notice, I got a little guest in the studio today and I'm also not in the studio
I am in a, what are we at? The Stay Bridge Suites
Extended stays?
The extended stay, wherever they stick workers, they're going to be somewhere a long time
It's basically a hotel room with no cups
I had to go ask them for cups and I finally conned somebody out of some plastic cups
I had like eight
Oh no, I'm just kidding
I'm in the wrong room
Barry got the headliner room, I got the future room
Most of y'all already know him, I'm a good friend, Barry Laminac
Stand-up comedian, radio host, extraordinary
You also have Barry on Deck, your own show
And they do all kind of wonderful things
We were talking last time about some of the charity endeavors you guys have done
And let me turn that computer down so that my editor's not making beeping noises throughout this
For my own work
Yeah, Barry on Deck's done some big good
I didn't even know about all the money y'all raised and everything
And then y'all went to a no kill shelter and you ate poison ivy or something
So the animals didn't have to, it's phenomenal bro
You know, we do what we can
Yeah, that's a good Christian soldier right there, brother
So me and Barry on the road this week, we're working in San Antonio at the fabulous Retoma Race Park
Yes
Because you know what a horse racing park needs is the stand-up comedy show
Yes
Makes all the sense in the world
Yes
I'm just glad we're not in the middle of the track
You know what, everybody when I first tell them like
Especially when there's only 13 people there, there's 13 people at last night's show
Every once in a while you just need a little humbling
Yes, comedy is a cruel mistress
Oh, I'm humbled
Yeah, you think you've got it all figured out
And then they answer with a 13 person show
You're like, damn
I can't remember the last time I did that bad
Even in El Reno we had 20 people
Even in El Reno we had 20 people
We had 25 people at the barbecue restaurant that time
Yeah
13 people last night
Shout out to San Antonio for not fighting traffic
Yeah, yeah, there's it
This area is San Antonio oriented
So San Antonio, I'm no city planner
Alright
But I've lived in a few
And don't get me wrong, Houston got all
They've been working on 45 since 41 of us was born
But the thing I will say about Houston
Is they like to work on one freeway at a time
Yes
They don't ever finish it, but then they'll get bored
Or their ADHD will kick in and be like
Let's go work on 16 for a little while
But then they go work on 16 for a while
They pick all the stuff up
Yeah, and they go do new plays
It's not like San Antonio over the
My last four or five years of coming here
They just continue to dismantle
More of the San Antonio
They've got 1604 screwed up
35
Now they're tearing 1604 up from like
35 all the way to
I can't remember the other highway out there
Yeah
They're gonna make it five lanes
But they didn't finish doing 35
Before they did any of that
Yeah
The 410 loop saw everything
I just went 11 miles and it took 46 minutes
46 minutes
With the world's oldest Uber driver
I swear to God
If this man wasn't 85 years old
He wouldn't a day
And he literally sat on the freeway
Behind another car that was sitting behind nothing
Just sitting there
For a good eight minutes
He didn't halt
He just waited for them to move
His first Uber car was a Model T
He drove checkered cabs
He
My God
I was just like
Bro, why aren't you in a hurry?
You were running out of time
The one thing you don't have is time
Go
I got a little time
But you're really on the low spectrum of time
That we got left to make a decision
About this car in front of us
I don't know if your minutes are weeks
It's something
Maybe he's Canadian
He just didn't do the conversion
I went out just to get coffee
Just to get some coffee
And back when I texted you
Man, it took
45 minutes
You know where that QT is
It's about three miles from here
It took me 45 minutes to get there
Get my stuff and get back
We got more tickets
I don't know if anyone's going to like
Man
I made a little video earlier
Y'all come to the San Antonio show
You want to leave about two hours ahead of time
You want to leave last Wednesday
So that you can spend an hour
Sitting on 35
Looking at the racetrack
And he's being humble
He said 13 people came
That's not how many tickets were sold
I just need everybody to know that
That's how many people came
30-something tickets sold
So it's not like he sold 13 tickets
It was much more than that
How was your
We went out and had a little drink last night
At a bar where we did not fit in
Nope
We were way too old for that bar
I got called tight and not tight
By some youngster
Yeah, but then we also watched him
Puking the rocks for a while
I was like, yeah
I can hold my liquor youngin'
Yeah, I got a great deal of joy
Out of watching that whole stagger around
And puking the rocks
Fall down, throw up
I was like, who's not tight now?
I was like, you thought you was a bad dude
He came up, he grabs my shirt
He pops the collar on
And he goes, yo, that's tight
But you're not
He goes, but you're tight, but you're not
I was like, what does that even mean?
And then 30 minutes later
As we're finishing our drinks
You see him fall down
Then he gets up
Then he throws up
And he's like, it's not tight, bro
If you're guessing the demographic of that bar
It was probably 22 to 28
Young black folks
That they were there for
Quite a large birthday party
Rage it on, having a good time
I like hip hop music
So I was having a good time
But we had to wait 20 minutes
To get a drink
And then I just felt so old
I just never felt so old
Especially when the 25-year-old
Comes by wearing a Kimalaj 1 jersey
I'm like, you don't even remember that dude
I barely remember him
You have no idea
Yeah, that was an experience
The bartender
It's like a 22-year-old bartender
In fishnet tights
And wearing a Ramon shirt
And I was so bad
I wanted to be that guy
I want to just go up and sing
I want to be sedated
And see if she recognizes that
Who's that?
Is that Blink 182?
I did want to play it on the jukebox
Because I wasn't trying to get my ass kicked
I did want to see if she could
Talk about her record scratch
A single Ramon song
They probably didn't even have that on them
It'd been wild if I had played it on the jukebox
They'd just start raging out to it
Then I wouldn't have felt so old
I've never felt so old
As just experiencing that
Because it was like
When she gave me my drink
The second bartender finally shows up
And takes her drinks
He goes, sir
I was like, sir
Sir hurts
I just need young folks to know
Sir hurts
When you're talking with people
In their 40s and 50s
Sir hurts
It's like I'm not a sir yet
Sirs is for 70 people
You know what I mean? 70-year-old men
Sir is my dad
Yeah
Yeah, exactly
My editor buddy Adam
Every time he calls me
He always says the same thing
He's about 12 years younger than me
And I'll pick up a phone and he'll go
Mr. Longmire
I'm like, that does not mean
That's my dad
Yeah
That's this old dude
That lives along New Texas
I am J.W. or Jerry Wayne
You know, asshole
You can tell me a lot of things
Mr. Longmire is not who I am
Yeah
If you're in your 20s or 30s
And you see somebody in their 40s
Don't say sir
Or 50
Just dude, man
That's all good
It's good manners
But don't be upset
If they start crying
Yeah
You know
If you see a walk away
Wiping their eyes
I didn't know any of the songs
Being played
She said, sir
And I was like, I'm old
This is it
I'm old
But at least I'm not falling down
Throwing up
Yeah
I do not miss that
Sirs don't do that
I don't remember the last time
I honestly had so much to drink
That I threw up
I don't remember the last time
That happened
And I'm real thankful about that
Yeah
And it ain't because I can
Necessary hold more liquor now
It's just I don't do that to myself
No more
Oh, I used to
Yeah, I've done it
I do
But
You get old
The last time I did that
I had bad credit
Worse credit
Yeah
There you go
Worse credit
The last time I did that
I was in about the 508 category
Yeah
Yeah, like this is
I need to just get drunk
And fall down and throw up
To forget my credit score
Yeah
So we're obviously
We're gonna do the show
A little different today
I got my buddy Barry in
I thought we'd have some fun
And I found three interesting topics
I wanted to talk about
And I wrote a little something
To go at the end of it
But one of these topics
Really surprised me
I was going down some rabbit holes
The other night
And
There is a rumor
I have been spreading for years
That is not true
I had no idea
I have been telling people
For years
That Johnny Cash
Sorry
No, that's fair
I do say that a lot
I've been telling people
For years
That Johnny Cash
Extincted a species of bird
Because he got drunk
While he was camping
This back when he was all
Missed up on the methamphetamines
And he got drunk
And he left a cigarette going
And started a forest fire
And to be fair
Where I got this information
Was from his biography
Called Cash
And I read it about
Three or four times
I was just incensed
With Johnny Cash
I wanted to be
I used to wear all black
I still wear all black
I wanted to be Johnny Cash
You know
He was Godfather of punk
He was just this cool folk hero
As I was growing up
But then I learned
This horrible thing
About him in a book
And I would be like
Yeah, as cool as Johnny Cash is
He did extinct the species of bird
But he didn't
It's all a lie
It's all a lie
He did start a huge wildfire
He did start a huge wildfire
1965
This is when him
And his first wife Vivian
And her book just came out
A couple
About four or five years ago
Maybe longer than that
But this is with him
And his first wife Vivian
And they was living out
In Los Angeles
And this was when Johnny
Was really getting
This when he was tearing
Sinks off the walls
You know
I mean
He was a
I heard a story about him
And I'm pretty sure
This story is true
But we had a friend
Back in Kilgore
In East Texas
Old man
And his dad
Had owned the only pharmacy
In town
The Eckerds
Whee
Back in
During the sixth
During the hayride
Before
Cash got famous
Moved out to LA
In the hayride
Tourist Day
So it was
It was Johnny Cash
Elvis Presley
Gary Lee Lewis
And Roy Orbison
They were just
Cutting a rug
And living wild
In their car
Taking as many pills
As they could get
And the rumor about that
Was Elvis
When he turned them on
With the pills
Elvis was like
If you take
You some of these pills
You can drive
All night
And do four shows
Tomorrow
You'd be feeling good
And Johnny got off
Into these
Mantan pediments
And the story goes
About this
Old man
On this pharmacy
In Kilgore
Just
While the hayride
Tour was going on
And they would come through
On their way
To Gladewater
To do shows
They'd stop
At that pharmacy
About midnight
Pull up to the back door
And Johnny Cash
Would get out of
That big old
Black Cadillac
With a big black
Leather bag
And the old pharmacist
Would just fill him up
Wow
Fill him up
And then he'd throw it
In the car
And they'd go on
To do the shows
Wow
Yeah, I can't say for sure
That story's true
But it feels true
Yeah
Wouldn't shock you
If it was
Yeah
So by the time
He moves out to LA
He's on that
He's in it
He's on the ride
Right
And he's been
I've never been
A big speed guy
I've had
My dalliances
Yes
Very much so
I'm on the ride
I mean, not like right now
But
I only had that one
Experience of Adderall
That was enough of me
But the dalliances
He was
He was in it
Right
And he's riding hard
Him and his wife
Ain't getting along
On the count
That he was screwing
Everything that walked
I was on tour
I don't do it
And she took a fence to that
Yeah
You know
She was kind of uppity
Anyway
I don't even a rock star
No
Johnny wasn't living right
He was partying hard
He was going hard to paint
Well, he had this little
Camper trailer
Right
And he would go
Camping to get away from her
Camping
And camping was
Short for
Just drinking
And doing pills out in the desert
And
That sort of thing
And so he goes out
In like 1965
He goes camping
In the Los Padres
National Forest
And the story was
He was drunk
Left cigarette go
And started fire
That wasn't what happened
But
There was a huge
Court
He started this
Wild
The wildfire started
At his camp
Burned
508 acres
And apparently
This 508 acres
Was the
Rare
Already endangered
California
Condor
Nesting ground
And
All the luck
And
They went
They took him to court
The federal government
And I got the note here
The federal government
sued him
To the tune
Where is the number?
125,000 dollars
172 dollars
In damages
For the
Firefighting cost
And the habitat damage
And the damage
To the California
Condor
During the trial
The government
Attorneys argued
That the
The fire
Harmed the endangered
California
Condor
They didn't even know
How many of them were dead
Or how many of them
Was left
Park rangers testified
That he killed
All these
Condors
And that the fire
Started because
Of a cigarette
But then
A later investigation
Found out
Johnny didn't
Help this case
Johnny was
Standing in court
And they're giving
Him all this
Grief
About how
Much money
They're going to
Turn
The court against him
A little bit
It wasn't Johnny Cash
Thing to say ever
Yeah, it just sounds
Like a redneck
From Arkansas
I don't care about
You damn yellow bird
Yeah
Yeah
Dude
That is
Johnny's testimony
Didn't hurt
But what I found out
Since it just recently
Digged down a rabbit hole
Was
It wasn't a cigarette
Started the fire
It was the
Wheel bearings
On his camper
He had this
Bonanza camper
And the wheel bearings
Had overheated
And started
The fire
Now
He was drunk
He did try to
Put out the fire
Quite clearly
Unsuccessfully
To the tune of
Five hundred
Eight acres
Unsuccessful
But
Not a single
Condor was killed
That was all a bit
None of them were killed
And the crazy
The backside
Of the story is
Is
The condors are
Doing way better now
Because of all
The conservation efforts
That sprung up
As a result of
Everybody being mad
At Johnny Cass
And thinking Johnny Cass
Killed off the condors
Everybody started
Donating money
To these stupid
Birds they'd never seen
And
It's wild, though
These yellow buzzers
The thing about the firefighters
Out there like
We gotta save these
Birds
We gotta put this fire out
Dude
It's
The fact
Well, first of all
The fact that he
Became the face of
Conservation for it
For that cause
In particular
Is hilarious
And I really
Hit him for a hundred
Twenty-five grand
Which was a little bit more
Money in 1965
Man, that's a lot of money
Back then
You know
I mean it's a lot of money
If somebody hit me
For a hundred twenty-five
Gram right now
I can just laugh at him
Like
Where do you want me
To get that?
I don't even have
Enough pounds of flesh
To cover that cough
Thankfully
Yeah
That was
My
What I love, though
Is
It was
They assumed it was
A cigarette
Like how did they find out
It was the
The bearings on the camper
Because
You would assume it was
Probably a cigarette
Where he just flicks it
And they can try
My smoker
I'm a former smoker
You don't
You just
My guess is
Some
Arson investigator
With the fire department
After the trial
Like looking at them
Wheel bearings like
Man
I like that
And that was a common
Thing back then
But the trial said
Cigarette
Yeah
The park rangers
Testified that it was
Cigarette
The fire department
Later came on
And said no
It was caused by these
Wheel bearings
But you know how
In the zeitgeist
Once a story's out there
It's out there
You know
Especially in the 60's
Where there was
Far less media
And once one media
Picked up a story
The story was
Johnny
In his book
Johnny went to his grave
Thinking he
Extincted this
Damn yellow buzzard
I don't
I'm not sure he was
Upset about it
I doubt he cared
I doubt it
He didn't seem
Remorseful
No
If he's probably
A yellow buzzard
He probably
Didn't think twice
After the trial
Was over
He'd probably
Done with it all
Because they said
There was like
50 condors at the time
Right
They were already
Endangered
At the time
There was 50 of these
California condors
But then all the
Conservation efforts
That happened after this
By the 80's
Now today
There's like
560 condors
And they're
About half of them
Anchor
Yeah
Almost one for every
Anchor he burned
See
That's a
Life's a circle
Yeah
Life's a circle
You know when they
Hit 508
He was like
You're welcome everybody
But let's be real
How many oil companies
Have extincted animals
That there's never been
A new story about
Never
It's animals
Nobody cared
Nobody did
I gave
Look
If I hadn't read a
Headline like
Oh no the California
Condors
Extinct
I know me well enough
To know that
Somebody's like
Oh did you know this bird
Went extinct
I'm like
Do we eat that one
Yeah
That one
Tastes like
But
If I read it in the
Headline
I'd be like
Oh my God
Why did Johnny do that
Oh yeah
It's
100%
And it's easier to
Get mad at one person
Who has that bad boy image
Than it is
Yeah
Just be like
Well it was an oil tanker
Easy target
Yeah
Oh 100%
Also
Stand it up in the courtroom
And say
I'll give a damn
True yellow buzzer
Yeah
No Exxon mobile executive
Is going to do
We're really sorry
About all the
Sea turtles
You know them seals can
Kiss my ass
To be honest with you
Can you imagine
Can you imagine
An Exxon mobile executive
Them seals can
Kiss my ass
They don't even taste good
Why do y'all care
What do they do
Ain't nothing
I wonder if seal does
Taste good
I probably shouldn't
Wonder that
But
I eat most mammals
You know
I don't know
They got a lot of fat on them
They got a lot of fat on them
Yeah
Well you got slow smoking
Yeah
You probably
I put that in my little
Easy bake oven
Yeah
Just 210 for about
12 hours
We'll liquefy that fat
We'll get it done
Yeah
I
You think it tastes more like
Most things out of the ocean
Taste gamey though
I was gonna say
You think it's more like
A fish taste
Or a game
Like a
I don't know
Cause like
I've had
I don't like
What is it
Calamari
Yeah
But not a fan
I'm not
I don't like
I used to like it when I was younger
I don't like it now
That kinda grosses me out
But I've had
Yeah
And stuff like that
I've had shark
Which was just gamey
But it's like
So we used to
Are shark different
So when we call it
We used to fish
Black-tipped shark
A lot
And when we call
Ones big enough
We would
Cut it up
Like fillet style
More or less
And then put it
In a ziplock bag
With some buttermilk
And let it sit
Overnight
Oh
Or refrigerator
And then we throw that
On the grill the next day
And take all that gamey
And that's out
But I've heard people
Using vinegar
And other stuff to do it
But I always kinda like
Shark
There's so many things
I haven't got to try
That I'd like to
Like I'd like to try
A little bear
Do they eat bear?
Yeah, I'm sure somebody
Eats bear
That's Kimose
They eat bear, didn't they?
Yeah
Indigenous people
Probably ate bear
I bet there's some place
Here
Y'all let us know
Is there a place
To get some good bear
Like if somebody
Make a bear
Is the McDonald's
In Alaska
Save a little
Big-back bear
Bear claw's not the same
Though
It's just a donut
But yeah
I don't
I think the weirdest thing
I've ever eaten
Was probably like
I'm gonna remember that joke
Next time I tell somebody
He's funny
Anyways
I'm thinking like
I think the weirdest thing
I'm gonna be telling somebody
That will go bear claw
Yeah
Nevermind
Bear's a pro
He's good
Hey, Jordan missed
His shot every once in a while
But like
I think the weirdest thing
I've ever eaten was like
Alligator
Or
Squirrel
But that's not that weird
Depending on where you're from
I grew up
I was gonna say
Depending on where you're from
Squirrel's pretty common
For somebody like me
The city folk
The city boy
The squirrel was weird
Yeah
But yeah
I think Alligator
Did you enjoy it?
Alligator or the squirrel?
No, not really
Not so much
I had dad and frog legs
In the same night
That's a lot to tackle when you're
Yeah
When you're just a McDonald's
Yeah
That's a lot
That's a lot of adventure
In one place
Yeah, it was not
Pleasant
I'm kinda here
There on frog legs
Squirrel
I used to love squirrel dumplings
Growing up
Well, I ain't had done
Squirrels
Dumplings?
Yeah, my memo used to
Make squirrel dumplings
Really?
Yeah
It's pretty damn good
Is it?
Took a lot of squirrels
So like, my mom
I was gonna say
That's a busy week
My pap
My pap all along
By her
He grew up during the
Depression
There in Tennessee
And they just
Pretty much
He used to tell me stories
About how his daddy
Gave him a 22 pistol
Long barrel pistol
Like a Ruger
And he'd give him one bullet
And he had to go out there
And shoot something
Because bullets
Were kind of expensive
Yeah, he had to go out there
And so he
They would eat rabbit
And squirrel
And all that kind of stuff
So even after him
My memo lived in Kilgore
And they were in their old age
Pomball's favorite thing to do
In the world
Especially during the fall
And get up
Take his little 410
Out in the woods
Behind their house
And bring down
A couple flying tree rats
And then
He would hang them up
At his carport
And dress them
And skin them
You know
Off the crossbars
Of his carport
I say that's crazy
But you know
Given how he grew up
And what he had to do
And they didn't have a lot
He was a retired truck driver
Living on a pension
And she had a little
Garage sale
And a little paper out
But they didn't have a lot
Of money
So it was
So they used to do that
I had
Softshell turtle stew
A couple of times
When I was young
I've had alligator
Snapping turtle
I remember this one time
This boy's going to show
You all my people
My cousin Dwayne
He's a little older than me
He got so excited
Because he killed
This alligator
Snapping turtle
About
You know
It's probably a good
Good size
It's a big old alligator
They get huge
But this is
A good size alligator
Snapping turtle
He killed it
And he drugged it up
The house
And I couldn't figure out
Why he was dragging it up
The house
And he was kind of
Doing it
Shot a lot of stuff
So I just
You know
Wasn't in common
For him to shoot
The neighbor's dog
Or something like that
He was like
You know
Some people was like
Shooting stuff
He was like shooting stuff
He was a
Pentecostal preacher
For a little while
And also
A cop
At the same time
Oh wow
And
Was kind of going back
And forth between the two
And I gave him shit
About hunting deer
Out of season one time
He goes
Let me tell you something
That's man's law
Not God's law
I was like
Boy
We are swimming
In justification now
I'm not stroking in it
And
Yeah
He dragged this big old
Alligator staff
And turtled up
And my aunt
Barbara Longmire
She was this
Like five foot five
Hot headed
Little Cajun
Pentecostal woman
Just black headed
Black hair
Bund up
On top of her head
Almost tall as she was
And she was a caterer
And a chef
That was her job
And she
Come running out
That house
With a big old knife
She said baby
There's seven kinds
Of meat on that
And she was
So excited
To get the work on that
Snapping turtle
Man
And I ain't no lie
I had a little bit of it
And some of them kinds of
Meat tasted different
Than the kind of meat
I'd been exposed to
I'm thinking like
What's under the shell
Is it all meat
Is it like
It's like opening up a
Can't tell you
I have never in my life
Since then
Requested alligator
Snapping turtle
No
I'm just like
Weirdest
Cause all you see
Is just the little feet
And the little head
And I'm like
How much meat
Could there be on a turtle
I guess there's
There's a good sized turtle
Wow
Yeah
So we did eat some
I never had
Nine new people
Eight possum
I never had none
But I've had
Raccoon meat
I've had a little
Really
Yeah
I've had a little
Raccoon
One night
I saw some people
This is in South Louisiana
And I pulled up the
South camp house
I rented
Say less
Anything is on limits
There
They used to be
Treating rats
They used to be
Running joke
Is the reason
There ain't no wells
In the Gulf of Mexico
Is cause
In the south of Louisiana
Found a big enough pot
It's good to both
But
These dudes
Had a
Nutria
You know what that is
Nutria rat
They had a
Nutria on a spit
Over a fire
And I was like
I'll take a cold beer
Yeah
I'm out
I did drink
One of their good
Coors lights
But I didn't have any
Nutria
Yeah
Maybe I missed out
I'm okay with missing out on it
Anyway
So
I feel terrible
For years
I've been telling people
Johnny Cash
Extincted a bird
He didn't know such thing
In fact
You might say
As a result
Of his malfeasance
He helped
The bird
Did better off
In the long run
You can't say
Oh it's a good thing
He burned that woods down
That bourbon
Never got saved
Cause
Probably lots of other
Shit died
In 500 acres
There's probably a lot of animals
In 500 and 8 acres
I wasn't gonna ask him
Any body
Any people
Yeah
You know
Never know
Our next time
Well
Segway
There we go
Go over here
This one really
Tripped me out
And didn't know about this dude
I saw a video about him
And it piqued my interest
And a lot of times
So you know
I do a lot of
I'm on social media
All the time
So a lot of times
I'll see a video about something
But I always gotta go look it up
Because
Just a lot of videos are bullshit
Yeah
There's so much AI out there
Yeah
And so
I had to go look this one up
And it was a story
About this dude
Name
Let me see
I pull his name up here
I don't forget
And those last names
McCollum
Darius McCollum
Darius McCollum
A young black kid
In New York City
He's in Queens
Born in 65
Also something happened in 65
While Johnny Cash was
Burning down
Burning
While Johnny Cash was
Saving the condors
Darius McCollum was born
In Queens, New York
Darius McCollum
Had at what the time
They labeled as
Aspergers
I think they have a different name
For it now
Because they don't like that guy
But I'm not sure
But regardless
He was neurodivergent
And if you can imagine
In the 60s
He didn't have a good time in school
Kids were a little mean to him
Because he was peculiar
One of his peculiarities
Was he was actually in love with trains
Subway trains
Love trains
Which is a common thread
I think I have the only neurodivergent kid
That doesn't like trains
Really?
Yeah, my son don't give a shit about trains
He got your train
He's like, no thanks
Nah, it's not his thing
He doesn't care about trains
But logos, he loves logos
Really?
He can tell you every fox logo
Throughout the history of time
And how they've evolved
He can tell you every Burger King logo
And how they've evolved
And what years they changed
His thing is logos
And he builds logos out of Legos
Really?
Yeah
That's all he does
When he's on Minecraft
Me and him have a whole world together
On Minecraft where we play together
And I'll build stuff
And he'll build stuff in what he builds
His replica of all the restaurants
He builds Ikea replicas
And logos
That's a bit
And so we have this whole world
We've been working in for like four or five years
It's just this flat world
And it's just full of giant logos
And build it
And show it
We even got to show Biz Pizza
Oh wow
Yeah, that's old school
We went old school
The dude's obsessed with it
But Darius
Darius was in trains
Especially the New York City subway system
From early, early childhood
And he was having hell in school
Kids were picking on him
He's about 14, 15 years old
Some kid takes a pair of scissors
And tries to stab him
And he gets whatever
They just didn't care as much back then
And the system was easy to be in
They didn't know as much
But they also weren't as sensitive
No
Yeah
And he got
He gets out of school
And he stops going to school
And he starts hanging out at the subway system
And because he's obsessed with these subway trains
He starts hanging out with
All the transit workers
Not the transients
But the transit workers
And they befriended him
They loved this kid
He's so interested in their job
There's a documentary about this dude
Called Off the Rails
I'm going to watch it
It came out in 2016
And they were joking
Kind of in one part of it
They said these subway guys
Like, hey man
Do you want to learn how the train works?
They get, there's no way
A 15 year old is going to remember how a train works
But the thing about
It's different
The thing about people that are neurodivergent
Is they don't forget shit
And so this kid
Tucked it away in his little encyclopedia
This is how a train works
One day he's 15, 16 years old
One of these transit workers says
Hey man
I got a little side piece
I want to go here
I want to go meet this gal
And could you cover my shift for a little while
You seem to know how the trains work really good
Could you just, just rush hour
You just got to run the train
And kids like, hell yeah
Darius takes over the train
And operates it
Didn't break a rule
Didn't break any laws
Outside of he wasn't supposed to be operating the train
Operates the train perfectly
Does a great job
Gave the announcements correctly
Made all the scheduled stops
Most of the passengers
Had no idea anything unusual had happened
Except for one Karen
Or Greg
Who's called 911
And said hey
There's a 15 year old running the train
I'm on that feels weird
And the law shows up in arresting
And at 15 years old
They give him a felony
And lock him up
Right, and it's not even in a
He's in a juvenile system for a little bit
But then they just move him over to the adult system
I assume because he's 15
And black and New York in the 60s
They don't care
And he
He goes to prison
Gets a felony
So guess what
When you have a felony
You can never be a transit worker
You can never be an MTA employee
Which is wild to me
Because where do they get them?
Because I just assumed it was all felons doing that
I thought it was like the oil field
Like hey we need a couple felons
They're resourceful
And that began a cycle
Because when he got out of jail
The first thing he does is go hang out in the subway system
What does he do?
He starts to hang around
Over 40 years
He's arrested and sentenced 30 plus times
For operating subway trains without authorization
Driving buses from depots
Entering restricted transit facilities
Posing as an MTA employee
Uniform, badge, radio, everything accurate
He found out how to tell
He found out how to get a uniform
And get in there and figure out
When somebody called in sick
And so then he would just show up
And cover their shift
Never got paid by the MTA
That was amazing
Just showed up and did an excellent job for free
And got arrested for it
They sent this dude to Riker
A guy with Aspergers in Riker's prison
He got married at some point
He never hurt anyone
He never damaged any equipment
He never tried to profit
He never resisted arrest
Riker's Island is crazy
And he got sent to Rikers
That's crazy
He simply wanted to participate in the system he loved
He wanted to be a part of the trade
He got married at some point
In between one of his jailstays
He marries this old gal
And she decides he's cheating on him
Because she can't find him at night
He's sneaking out of the house at night
So she hires a private investigator
Private investigator goes to the subway
But he's like, no, he's just hanging out down here with trains
And there's like a thing
In the divorce proceedings
She's like, I felt like he loved something other than me
And he's like, yeah, I love trains more than you
Yeah
I thought I was very clear about that
I love you, but I love trains more
How did you not get that?
Each time he was released
I went to jail 40 times for trains
I wouldn't go to jail once for you
That's love
That's real love
Man, the messed up thing that I read
That really shook me
Was that he knew the New York City subway system
Better than anybody
He knew it so well
Yeah
That after 9-11 happened
Homeland security
He was in prison in Rikers at the time
Homeland security
Goes and pulls him out of prison
So that he can teach them
How to protect the subway system
From terrorist attacks
And he does
Willigly, he's eager to help
And then they get done, they throw him back in Rikers
God, I hate us
I hate us so much for stuff like that
You know what I mean?
Well, they treat him like a repeat offender
That's the way with the disability
He has repeatedly been given a job in the transit system
Supervised structured work
Any legal way to be part of it
The MTA refused every time
They said it was because of liability
He said to Rikers and state prisons
Places that only worsened his mental health
And sense of meaning
His love was pathologized
His obsession was punished
He just wanted to be a part of this thing
He loved, what if the thing you love
You were talking about this last time
What if the thing you love most in the world
Became illegal to you?
That was his quote, he said that
That was his quote
I didn't see that
I guess it was in an interview he did
He said imagine the thing you love the most
Is also illegal
Or something like that
And it's just like
Yeah, I mean
I told you what if comedy was illegal
What if podcasting was illegal
And look
There are places in the world where both
You know
In communist countries
Or places like where you can't do
You can't talk fully
And imagine that
You went and did a comedy show
And it arrested you
And put you in prison with
Murders and rapists and all the awful
It's the Lenny Bruce thing
Would you just keep doing it
If you kept getting arrested for doing something people didn't like
You know what, I love comedy
But I don't know if I would do 40 different
I don't know how many times I would go to prison
About comedy, I think I would just
You know what
I'm just gonna go back to project management and IT
That's a little safer
I would just go back to construction
And tell jokes on the job site
Well my audience is smaller
But they're a better audience
And I don't go to prison anymore
Cause I don't think it's still illegal
If you're like hammered a nail when you tell a joke
Or is it only if you're on stage with a microphone
I have a lot of questions about comedy being illegal
Is it illegal to laugh
Is it
Is the audience getting in trouble too
Like what if laughing was illegal
Would you still do comedy
That's funny
Are they getting hit by people felonies
It's like a drug dealer
Now you're dispensing the drugs
I'm just supplying the people what they want
They're gonna get it somehow
They're gonna get it from me or someone else
That's the people with the guns and everything
If you got a lot of guns people gonna make them
People should go get them
If you outlaw the laugh
People still won't get them
People still won't get them
If you outlaw anything like that
There's always gonna be somebody to supply it
That's a funny
Funny idea
This is a crazy story
It's kind of funny on the surface
But it's heartbreaking
And then they committed him to a mental hospital
So permanently
I got him out of prison
And I think he's still in a mental hospital now
Well, I think if you had your choice
Yeah
I know they don't do a lot of shock therapy anymore
Right
You just wonder
Just to be able to get away from
Some of the criminals
That you would be around
What are you in for
I like trains
That's crazy
I have a passion for trains
I like doing this one job
Really really good
And not hurting anybody when I do it
And making sure people are safe
And get to their destination on time
That's what I like
I like order
I like when the subway system works correctly
I just want that to happen
You know
We gotta lock you up bro
They say stole
It's not like he took them home
But they estimate he stole
5000 trains in his career
Damn
The thing that bugs me is
That's 5000 times this dude
Showed up for work and didn't get paid
They tell you something
Right
I almost didn't come do this show
Because I didn't get paid
It just takes me one time
You don't get paid
I guess I'm dragging up today
I got stories for days about my money
Like uh uh
I work in Orfield
I have drugged up over way simpler shit
Than not getting paid
I think I told you this
I did a corporate gig
I think I was like we're gonna send you a check
I said buddy I'm not leaving here without my money
What
I was like yeah man
I made him go he sent somebody
With his ATM card
To go get some money out of his bank
He took money out of the tip jar
I was like you sell that with them later
I'm not leaving
I got to go home
Shit that's no
But I
Imagine
This happening today
Do you think he would be treated different
Do you think knowing what we know now
About Asperger's or whatever
Yes I do
Do you think that it would be
He would be villainized
And criminalized
Look there's still stories of neurodivergent people
Being treated poorly
Being shot by police
Because they don't understand
But I do think
I believe this just because of the stuff I've read
Is that
A lot of police departments across the country
Have spent some time training their officers
To understand neurodivergent people with autism
Better because they're trying to make
Those situations are expensive
They get sued it's not good for the city
So they're trying to teach them
And they're actually starting
A lot of cities are starting to use
Like social workers
And more
Mental health professionals
To help with those type of situations
We were in downtown San Antonio
And you know
Broad daylight it's not a big thing
To drive around and see eight or nine people
Walking up down the street talking to themselves
And you can clearly tell that they're unhoused
And there's something going on
That's not some sand actions aren't firing
And stuff like that
It's a remarkable part
You don't want to be
I mean
It's a tricky
There's no black and white problem
There's
You don't want these people to be a danger
To the public which could be a scenario
Schizophrenia can be
Violent
Not as often as people think but it can be
People
Addicted substances can be violent
People with mental issues can be violent
So there is
You have to go okay we gotta protect the public
Which is a tricky situation
To be in because you also don't want to be heartless
These are human beings
That something horrible is happening to them
You know okay you can say in the drug situation
Or they made your choices whatever
That's fine
You can say that
Then good for you
But
People with mental health issues didn't make any choices
This shit just happens to them
And it's
But at some point you do have to draw a line
Where it's like oh there's a public safety problem
It's not a
Look it's a problem I'm glad nobody's asked me how to solve
You know what I mean because it's murky
It's murky as hell
I feel like and I'm kind of surprised
That he's still
In an institution
Because you would think with what we know now
And what would
Nobody has stepped up and stepped in
And said look this guy isn't crazy
He's not insane
He's just
He's just obsessed
In a way that someone with Asperger's
Would be obsessed
And it's you know
I feel like today if this were to happen
Especially with social media now
I don't think they would give a 15 year old a felon
No
First of all I don't think so
Because they screwed him right there
I would love to think that humanity
Would win
In that they would say alright
When you become of age
We'll give you a job
Doing something that's supervised
And you know like
Just allow him to
Do this passion and get paid for it
That he's good at
Don't prisons have trains?
Isn't there a train somewhere you can drive?
I don't know
If I hit my diamond here money
I'm about to train
I'm gonna see if I can get Darius out of
A mental health facility
I'm just gonna let him drive my train
You know what I mean?
I'll give him a bunch of stops
That'll just be my show
We're going here and here
Buy a big piece of property build a little train track
That was the other thing though
He did take buses
That was like well alright
Now you're branching out bro
Let's not bup shot this
I don't want him hanging out at the airport
No
Because right now he can still play pretty easy
You know
Good evening ladies and gentlemen
And I'm captain McCallum
Nope let me off
I just remember
I just remember when I'm sick
I need off the flight
It kind of broke my heart
Reading that story and I was wildly fascinated
With it and I wanted to talk about it here
Because I feel like more people should know about
Some of y'all are really smart
You probably already know about this dude
I'm just kidding
Some of you have never
Probably my fans watching
That's what I'm talking to
It's just wild
It's wild
I can't
I consider myself a passionate human
About a few things
But I don't know if I got that kind of passion
I think first time somebody put me in
Rikers I'd be like well shit man
I guess I'm going to take up origami next
But you know
You don't have aspergers or
You're not neurodiversion
And so that
You have that ability to rationalize
That's what
Punishments like that are for
It's like you did something bad
This is the punishment
To deter you from doing it again
But someone that's neurodivergent doesn't understand that
They fixate on the passion
This is just the thing I got to get through
So I can go do what I want to do
The consequences are like whatever
But I just want to do this
And that's where society failed him
It's not understanding that
Yeah I just feel like
It might have been handled differently
I don't know what the right answer is
I'm not claiming to have all the answers
And it's easy to look back
And go well y'all really screwed the pooch here
You know what I mean
It's easy to look back at him
Make judgments about everybody involved with it
But I tell you the person I would like to see
Interviewed is that dickhead that let him
Drive the train the first time while he went off
To go do whatever
Like how do you feel bro?
Yeah you started this
You've been awful quiet since that first arrest
Yeah I wonder if
When you were saying that I was like
I wonder if that dude got in trouble
Did he get fired?
Surely he got fired at least
I bet he can't be an MTA employee again
Better not at least in New York
I mean y'all could have let the kid take tickets
Or something
It's the thing where
Homeland security uses him
That's kind of disgusting
That couldn't just be his job
Y'all could have just kept him on staff
He wasn't even asking for money
Well it's crazy and sad
He wasn't even asking for money
You could just put him up in the house
And be like this is our director of subway trains
Do you know how many people would have used that
To get out? I'll help you
But again that's his brain
Doesn't function like that
They were like you want to help us with some train stuff
He's like yes train
We think you know more about this
Let's do it
Had he had good lawyer
We're worried about terrorists blowing up the trains
We can't have that
What about his family
No one in his family
I don't know
I couldn't find much about that
Nobody was like oh hey
I'm his lawyer you want him to help you
Sure but you have to let him out
Maybe that's why he went to the mental
Institution instead
Maybe they negotiated that
If you help us we'll get you out of here
Somewhere where it's a better quality of life
If you're already struggling with
Clearly he wasn't just neurodivergent
He was struggling with some mental health issues
If you're already struggling with that
And then
I can't imagine
Prisons helpful for mental health issues
I can't imagine being
Around a bunch of psychopaths
And miscreants
Trying to get a good night's sleep
Everybody just screaming hollering all night
The guy above me
Is stomping and I'm losing my shit
It's just
I couldn't even imagine
A thousand guys around
You screaming hollering
Our third story
Is a gym
I got
So tickled about this
I really want to write a movie about it
It shocked me that
Me and Rachel were having
A conversation
And we were trying
Because I was painting my screen porch
And I was using a paint roller to paint the floor
And I said
You know the first guy that showed up on the job site
With a paint roller everybody was like
Shit is that, let me get one of them
You know what man, that ain't bad as hell
Look at the paint you just put up that wall
And I just assumed
Like most things
The paint roller was probably
You know invented in the
1600s by the Sumerians
Or whoever the shit was inventing stuff back then
Somebody wrapped a cat
Around a
Thing and dipped it in paint and painted
Some chapel or something
And I was surprised to learn
That paint rollers were only invented in the 40s
During World War II
Because
There was a shortage of paint brushes
There was a shortage of a lot of things during World War II
But one of the things
That was going on during that period of time
Was there was a
Most of the paint brushes in the world
Were made
With Chinese borer bristles
This is before they had all the
Synthetics, the Nylons and all that
So everybody depended on these Chinese
Borer
Pig bristles and they bought them from China
Now was it the hair or the whiskers
The bristles
So they would buy them
From the Chinese
Chinese were exporting this
If you wanted Chinese pig bristles
I don't know why the Chinese borer pig bristles
Were better than the Russian borer pig bristles
I can't tell you that
I didn't read that much into it
But then I found
About this Cold War operation
Called operation
Pig bristle
It just sounds like
It just sounds like two dudes in a truck
In the middle of
It sounds like something my people
I was going to say it was like two dudes in a truck
In the middle of Kentucky
Which were not far off, it's the Australians
Pretty close
We're talking about Australians here
See the late state
In World War II there was a housing boom
In Australia
This huge construction boom going on
But it was being hindered
By a lack of paint brushes
You would never thought that
You couldn't wipe on the stain
That takes a rag
We'll paint it later
Nobody had invented the sprayer yet
I ain't sitting by painting a house with a paint brush
In ten years
We'll just do it later
When the war is over
Yeah, okay
This was holding up the building industry
It was a national problem in Australia
So the Australian
Royal Air Force
At the time, China is going through
Their own civil war
And all exports out of China are screwed up
And everything is jacked up because of that
And the communists are winning
And it's not going great
And some of these Chinese diplomats
That still know some of the Royal
Australian Air Force people
Say, hey
We happen to know
Where there's 25 tons
Of Chinese
Boar paint brushes
That's a lot of paint
25 tons of hair
25 tons of hair
You imagine?
Yeah, I mean
If you added up all Dolly Parton's wigs
And my beard
It might not be 25 tons of hair
And companies were trying to invent nylon
And some of that was happening in the United States
They were experimenting nylon
DuPont was experimenting with synthetic fibers
The United States took a different approach
The Canadians invented paint rollers
And then a guy in the US
Because the Canadians forgot the patent
He goes, hey, I just invented this thing called a paint roller
And paint rollers were all the rage
In the US already
But the Australians
Go, hey
We're coming to get them pig bristles
And there was a whole operation
That's crazy
Where these four to five heroes
From the Royal Australian Air Force
Fly a Dakota aircraft
Into China
Into Communist China
Load up 25 tons of pig bristles
Fly it into Shanghai
Which at the time was on the free side of things
And then smuggle it back into Australia
And I just
That's wild
For one, the idea
Well, there was no losses
They survived
So the idea
That somewhere in Australia
There was this old timer veteran
And his big war story was
I stoke 25 tons of hair
From them kind of godless communists
Those red devils didn't even catch me
Papa, why was he still in Bourbon
I don't know, do y'all call him papa in Australia
Whatever they got
Papa probably means some kind of killer animal
In Australia
Granddaddy
Granddaddy
Granddaddy
You wouldn't have this house if it weren't for me
Nobody would
I was thinking about this, I was like
Tits are, there's some boomer age
Once again, I don't know if Australia had baby boomers
Because that was kind of the North American thing
And I bet boomer means something completely different
That's like a guy that hangs out
Down in the swamp or something
Or boomer is probably a train
In Australia
Let me borrow you a boomer
But some boomer age in Australia
At some point trying to get his
Gen X age sons attention
Like you know what your granddaddy is
You like living in houses
You better go thank your granddaddy
And for him we were about to run plum out of house
I don't know what my Australian sounds like
Appalachian
It's just the voice I have
Plum out
Any impression I do ends up Australian
Plum out of houses
All the way to Perth
Your granddaddy saved us
You better go
So yeah you're going to pick him up from the nursing home
You ungrateful bastard
It also
Like the talk before
Because you always see that in the war movies
Like men
Flying in the dangerous territory
You go it up against these
Godless communists
And if you're captured
You may end up
We'll have to deny any existence
We can't come get you
You may very well end up in a
Communist prison
A life
But your nation needs these paint brushes
This is a matter of national
Security
That's what's crazy is it's like
Wait what are we going to get
We're not blowing
Something up
We're risking life
And capture from pig hair
It's bigger than that
It sounds pretty cut and dry
It sounds like we're going to get 25 tons of pig hair
Can I just bomb somebody
Can I switch teams and bomb
I just want a new platoon or whatever
Nobody tried finger painting
Can we just paint this shit later
Because I got plans
Give me one of the cotton garden gloves
I'll dip it in the paint and just smear it on the house
I'll just use a rag
Yeah
We can come up with all kinds of ideas
Anybody just want to do stucco
Can we just do
It's like a well thing
That reveals how fragile infrastructure is
One thing can get in the way
Of infrastructure
One little thing can shut everything down
My book is being delayed right now
Because
Because most of the books are printed in India
And there's stuff going on because of the tariffs
And it's got things screwed up
And one little thing can get in the way
Of everything, especially in a global economy
One little problem can start
Everything
That's just wild to me
I do think your idea of making this a movie
Is really smart
I think it's freaking hilarious
It's one part war movie
One part dude, where's my car
I was going to say, when you wrote it
Would it be serious
Would it be a comedy?
No, I'm calling
I'm calling the Cohen brothers
Because you can work out
You're great at comedy obviously
But you're great at
Being serious
And sermons and all the things
I won't shy la boof
I mean, I'm seeing
I won't shy la boof and John Burkle
And somebody Australian
Give me that break dancer chick
Give me that Australian break dancer chick
She'll be on the flight
That's the only famous Australian I know right now
Another famous one died
Yeah, I can see this
Get his kid, we'll let him be one of the Air Force
Oh yeah, I love that
I can see this as that
Operation Pig Bristle
Operation Pig Bristle
They really called it that
That's not a good secret operation name
Yeah, come up with something else
You could be like Operation Paintbrush
And people would be like, wonder what they're doing
Man, this is going to be
I can't wait to read your script
Operation Pig Bristle tells you
What they thought about the Chinese
They ain't going to know what the hell we're talking about
They're dumb
They're language is tree house, tree house, cat
They ain't going to know what we're coming to get
Squiggly lion over another squiggly lion
Divided by a lion
Yeah, cat
But it's also heroic
Like, you gotta smuggle
Some shit out of China
They're like one of the craziest
Periods of the history
Like, you were going up against some real bad dudes
You know?
That's wild
I wonder if they even told them
We need you to fly in China
Don't look in the briefcase
Yeah, don't look in the briefcase
Just go and get it and bring it back
We told them they'd be like, hell no
I quit
Take all my ribbons and my shit
I quit
We noticed on the way back the plane smells weird now
What's that?
Because
25 tons of pig bristles can't smell good
One ton
And there are tons in Australia
So they're spelled T-O-N-N-E-S
Which I don't know if that's a bigger ton than our ton
Really? Oh, now I gotta look that up
Yeah
I didn't even think about the smell on the plane
Phew
That smell like a can of smashed ass
That was horrible
Horrible
And then you get it back and you're like, alright
Now what? They're like, will
I also feel bad for the guys who finally
Got our vacation from making paint brushes
And then these assholes show up
They're like, who?
Bro, I was gonna take my kids down to the coast
We were gonna hang out
Australian Disney
Yeah
Everything in Australian Disney wants to kill you too
Yeah
Yeah, that's wild dude
The other thing is
Like if you're planning that mission
You've got to
How do you not, me
I couldn't be in the room with all the people
Planning this and not just laugh every time they're like
And then you're gonna take the pig hair
What? What?
Yes, it's just
It seems silly
We need it
That's crazy
That's crazy
Alright, let's wrap it up right there guys
This is appreciate you hanging out for nonsense
We'll be back to our regularly scheduled
Programming next week
Back in the wrecking yard
Anything else on that?
We'll move on
Let's do some testimonials
Do you got anything you want to plug before we get out?
Anything coming up?
No, not really
Nothing big, just
Sounds like it's going well
Well, you know
This comedy thing is killing it
It is
I will be
We will be in Mississippi together
We're gonna be in Macomb, Mississippi
November 15th
Doing one show, big car show during the day
I'll be up there at the car show
I'm excited to go to Mississippi
Because one of my heroes Jerry Clower
Who's the granddaddy
Of Southern storytelling
And a great deal of influence
On my entire personality
Of my being growing up
Jerry Clower is buried right there
In Liberty, Mississippi
Actually, I looked it up
It looks like it's spelled M-I-Rite, Mississippi
Which maybe you laugh a little bit
The M-I-Rite Cemetery
Anyway, it's about 10 miles from the theater
So I'm gonna make the pilgrimage out there
And pay some respect
To the granddaddy
Of all Southern legacy
And Southern storytelling
You gotta go out there and see old Jerry
And make sure you're right
If you don't know who that is, you gotta look him up
If you're watching this
You don't know who Jerry Clower is
I'm disappointed
Let's do some testimonials
These are some comments
I always go into my dusty...
Testimonials, if you will
But I can't do too much that
Because then I get stuck in dusty roads
I was watching Cody Rhodes
Do an interview
And I never realized he kinda has the list
He bites it
But if you watch his mouth when he talks
He kinda has the list
And he does a really great impression
Of his father
He slips into it really well
I was like, bro, if you did that
Everybody would love you more
Everybody already loved you, Cody Rhodes
I would love you more
You're the son of the dream, baby
Anyway, let's do some testimonials
If you will
See, I fall into it
I love dusty
This is our
Comments from last week
Our old buddy at Gettin' Greasy Garage
2435
When you talk about the title of this week's podcast
As I've talked about some addiction
Pills and the title is called
The Devil Ain't A Who
When you talk about the title
This week's podcast really hit me
Almost made me feel like your point
Your finger at me directly
Recovering an alcoholic of six years
Is taking high powered drugs from our recent surgery
And how dangerous that can be
I'm being very cautious about it
So thank you for the up front reminder
It's why I love you and appreciate you too, J.W.
Our buddy Gettin' Greasy
He's a day oneer
And if you guys haven't been fallin' along
I meant to talk about it a while back
He's had a number of spine surgeries
Now at this point
He had some stuff go wrong for him
Earlier on in the year
It got worse before they figured out
To do some surgery on him
I have talked to him a little bit
He is, I think he's on the
Upside of this thing
Any sort of positive energy
You know, especially day oneers
Can put out for a fellow day oneer
That's really going through something
And good for you man
For being in a few years
Struggling with alcohol and you beat it
I don't think utilizing pain medicine
In the way that it's necessary
Is going to be a problem for you
It sounds like you're already in front of it
And I'm really happy here
You're doing better buddy
I am a person
Who's never really struggled with alcohol
But I struggled with those pills
Got ahold of me and took me to task
You know, I did
I had dialysis with cocaine
And stuff when I was younger
But I never felt like I was addicted to it
Every time I quit, all three times
It was very easy though
Every time I quit cocaine it was very easy
I just deleted a couple of numbers out of my phone
And stopped going to a few bars
And it was easy to quit
It wasn't like cigarettes where they're everywhere
I think the thing with the pain pills
That got me the worst was because
Originally it was my doctor
Giving them to me and I was like
I need this, the doctor's giving them to me
And this isn't like I'm doing drugs
And I wasn't doing them recreational
And I think that's where they get people
In the time since I released
That little talk about it
I've had so many people reach out to me
And tell me their stories
There's just so many stories
Of people just
Medical procedure, dental procedure
Got in a car wreck
You know, it's just a lot of it's back stuff
Because back pain is the worst
You know, when you're jacked up
Anyways, getting greasy
You know, much time root for everybody
You know I'm rooting for you, baby boy
I hate that you've been dealing with all this stuff
But I like hearing you're on the upside of it
And please once again
Pass along my thanks to your son
Who reached out to me
While you were recovering from surgery
To let me know how you were doing
Because it really put my mind at ease
And I really appreciated that
Let's see, at it'll be
A Christian medal award
I'm gonna see him today
This will air Sunday, I will have already been
At the lemons race, I'm going down
For 24 hours of lemon, what's left of it
Like the last four hours of it
Sunday, once we get back to town
I'm gonna run down to Angleton
And hang out with my buddies at the racetrack
And make fun of some cars
And see my good buddy Christian Menel Ward
Who introduced me to lemons racer
He's also one of the hosts of
The Everyone Racers podcast
My main sponsor
My first season of the wrecking yard
And even into the second season
They're a wonderful bunch of people
I love their podcast, you should check it out
At Christian Menel Ward says
I also would have sworn termites
Don't eat cedar as well
Bro, I would have bet cash money on that
You know, I would have
Backed that up to the gates of hell
You gotta worry about no termites, you got no cedar
But they damn sure ate all my good cedar
And so I don't know if I got
Mutant Houston termites
Or what are these special termites
I was told all my life that seedlers
Got these terpenoids in it
These little oils, and I know it rejects ticks
That's why they make dog beds and cat beds
Out of it and stuff like that
A lot of different folks writing moths
But I would have sworn
That they wouldn't let
They'd run off termite
Apparently nothing except
Latex paint
Keeps terbiting it like
If you paint something really well, they won't get into it
Well, you know what you need to do that
Pig bristles
See, that's what happened
Because Australians got the way of my cedar
My cedar's ruined
But it's the Australian's fault
I'm 100% sure of it
There hadn't been a shortage
Shortage
Boy, I felt like a diesel truck trying to start
There where I'm at
Hadn't been a shortage of pig bristles
Yeah
That's funny
At Campcat 6089
I was hit head on by a drunk driver
And got messed up for a bit
The doctors only wanted to give me pills
I saw what they did and my family members
Finished off my brother-in-law
And nearly my brother
Thank goodness the info was out when I got hurt
So I was lucky to dodge that demon
I had so much respect for people that had the strength
To fight and win
A chiropractor saved my life
Believe in them or not, I do
Man, I'm so glad you didn't get caught up
In that mess
And I know a lot of people have a lot of opinions
About chiropractic
And there's a lot of controversy about it
But I have used them
Off and on over the years
For a number of things that they've helped me with
Now
I don't go to chiropractor when
You know, I think I got a brain tumor
Or something like that
Man, this hip, I went to chiropractor
And helped me out quite a bit
And gave me a lot of relief from it
So there's stuff I think
But I'm also a person who believes in
Yoga
And I believe in aligning your muscles
And stretching and stuff like that
Helps you too. I just recently started doing some tai chi
Oh yeah?
In the mornings, and that tai chi is making me
Feel real good, Bubba. It's supposed to be real good
For your mobility. I look ridiculous
Doing it, but boy, I get out of that backyard
And start kung fu fighting
It feels good, man
It also kind of makes you feel like you might
Conduce some karate
Not like real good karate, but like Steven Seagal
Karate
Where you just grab a guy and he goes down
That's what the tai chi makes me
Feel like maybe I could just
Put Barry on the ground
Like
You know?
Man, I had a pinched nerve in my C67
In my vertebrae
And I went to one of the
Best
Doctors around
Orthopedic doctors up there
In the Woodlands, and he sent me
To this guy who was a physical therapist
And a chiropractor
There's a view of him
And we would go in
And the first thing he would do
Would
Do a bunch of chiropractic stuff, I mean
Then have me do some physical therapy
Exercises, and I had lost
98% of the strength in my tricep
Because of the pinched nerve, like I couldn't turn
My steering wheel, that's how I knew
That's how those things work, they're so screwed
I went one day to turn my car and I was like
The steering wheel was heavy
That's what happened to Greasy Grot
Like he had spine damage
And his hands stopped working, he was like
I can't remember all of it, but I know
He was like having hand control
I went in and
I'm back on 100%
I'm gonna have an issue
Get me that chiropractor
I need you to start on my neck
And work your way down
My grip is messed up
You can either provide your grip
Or fix my grip
Your choice
I believe in a man
My wife is a nurse
That's part of my positive mental health
That release
That's funny
Let's wrap this thing up
I'll tell you guys
I've been considering something lately
And it sort of tied all those stories together
We live in a culture
That keeps telling us
That meaning arrives with spectacle
That you'll know
Your life mattered
Because there was a pause
Or a headline
Or someone stood up and said your name in a room
But the older I get
The more I realize that's a
It's a very childlike understanding of significance
Most of the world
Is held together
By people
Whose names you'll never know
Whose actions you were never meant to notice
An Australian flight crew
Wrists diplomatic crisis
Over a cargo hold of pig bristles
So a nation can keep building homes
A man and queen studies the subway system
Until it becomes the language of his heart
And all he ever wanted
Was to belong to the rhythm of the city
He felt born into
Johnny Cash gets drunk in a national forest
And without intention or malice
Changes the trajectory
Of an entire species
Because everything in this world
Whether we like it or not
Is connected to everything else
And it's not just personal stories either
History itself
Is shaped by these quiet hinges
I was looking for
An example and I read about a really crazy one
World War I
The war that broke empires
Rearranged borders
And set the entire stage
For the century that followed
Did not begin
Because kings made speeches
Or generals drew plans
It didn't
Start because
Of anything like that
It began because a chauffeur
In Sarajevo
Took a wrong turn
One wrong turn
One stalled car
One moment of confusion in city traffic
And the world caught fire
The Archduke
Was assassinated
And the Duchess assassinated
If there's a lesson there
It isn't heroic
It's humble
Small things are not small things
The hinge of history
Is almost always a quiet joint
Someone else thought was trivial
The day keeps its shape because of the man
Who shows up when it's inconvenient
The woman who keeps one particular promise
The friend who answers the phone
Even though they're tired
And don't have the right words
Civilization is
Not held together by greatness
It's held together by care
By the smallest acts of steadiness
By mercy so ordinary
We forget there are mercies at all
Purpose ain't a spotlight
Purpose is a posture
That's how you move through the world
When nobody's watching
That's how you tend the parts of your life
That look unimportant
But are actually holding the roof up
So take care
Take care with your words
Take care with your time
Take care with the people
Who cross your path for only a moment
Because the quiet things
Are the load bearing things
The sacred is
Rarely loud
The sacred is the mundane
It arrives softly
And it leaves the same way
Unless someone's paying attention
I'm rooting for you guys
I'll tell you that every week
I'll tell you that until you believe it yourself
Pay attention to what's going on
The world around you
Pay attention to the ways that you can make the mundane
A little better
Because when you get to the end of your life
I don't think you're going to be thinking about the big moments
I think when I'm at the end of my life
I'm going to think about sitting on the porch with Rachel
I'm going to think about the time my kid was playing soccer
And instead ended up catching butterflies
I'm not going to think about the big moments
I'm not going to think about birthdays
And weddings and anniversaries
The sacred is in the mundane
I'm JW
And I love you
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
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