Car
Seat Alhambra
The SEAT Alhambra is a family-friendly car with lots of space inside. It's designed to be practical for everyday use, especially for larger families.
Term
TDI
TDI is a special kind of diesel engine that helps cars use less fuel while still being powerful. It's known for being efficient and good for long drives.
Car
Ford Galaxy
The Ford Galaxy is a big family car that can carry many passengers and their belongings. It's designed to be comfortable and useful for everyday family needs.
Car
Honda Jazz
The Honda Jazz is a small car that's great for city driving. It's known for being roomy inside and very reliable.
Car
Bentley Continental Gts
The Bentley Continental GT is a fancy sports car that's really comfortable and powerful. It's made for people who like to drive in style and luxury.
Car
Dodge Viper
The Dodge Viper is a super-fast sports car that has a really big engine, which makes it exciting to drive. It's known for being powerful and having a unique look that many people love.
Car
Bentley Continental GTC
The Continental GTC is a fancy convertible car made by Bentley. It's known for being very luxurious and fast, perfect for those who want to drive in style.
Car
Porsche Carrera
The Porsche Carrera GT is a super-fast sports car made by Porsche. It has a powerful engine and is very light, which helps it go really fast. It's a popular car among people who love cars.
Car
Beetle
The Beetle is a small car made by Volkswagen that has a unique round shape. It's very popular and has been around for many years, known for its fun design.
Car
Trabants
The Trabant is a small car that was made in East Germany. It is known for being very basic and is often seen as a symbol of life in East Germany before the reunification.
Car
Honda Goldwing
The Honda Goldwing is a big, comfortable motorcycle designed for long trips. It has a special engine that helps it run smoothly and powerfully.
Term
flat six
A flat six engine has six cylinders that lie flat instead of standing up. This design can make cars handle better because it keeps the weight lower.
Car
Hillman Imp
The Hillman Imp is a small car that was made in the 1960s. It's known for being compact and having the engine in the back, which is different from most cars.
Concept
Formula One
Formula One is a popular car racing sport where teams compete with very fast cars. The races happen on special tracks, and the cars use the latest technology to go as fast as possible.
Car
Land Rover Discovery 2
The Land Rover Discovery 2 is a type of SUV that is good for driving off-road and has a lot of space inside. It was made between 1998 and 2004.
Car
Smart 4-2
The Smart 4-2 is a tiny car that's great for driving around cities. It's easy to park and move around in crowded areas.
Term
clutchless gear changes
Clutchless gear changes mean you can change gears without pressing the clutch pedal. It's a skill that can make shifting faster, but it can also hurt the car if done wrong.
Car
Jaguar XJ
The Jaguar XJ is a high-end car that is known for being stylish and comfortable. Some versions of this car had problems that caused them to catch fire, which is why it was mentioned in the podcast.
Car
BMW 1 Series M
The BMW 1 Series M is a special, sporty version of the regular 1 Series car. It's popular because it's fast and fun to drive, and not many were made, making it valuable.
Car
BMW 135
The BMW 135 is a smaller, sporty car from BMW that is fun to drive. It's part of the 1 Series and is known for its good performance.
Car
BMW 130
The BMW 130 is a compact car from BMW that combines sporty features with everyday usability. It's a good choice for those who want a fun car that’s also practical.
Car
BMW M140
The BMW M140 is a sporty version of the BMW 1 Series, designed for better performance and handling. It's a fun car to drive and is loved by car fans.
Concept
restomod
Restomod is when you take an old car and fix it up with new parts, like a modern engine, so it runs better but still looks like the classic version. It's a way to enjoy the style of an old car with the benefits of new technology.
Car
Nissan Micra
The Nissan Micra is a small, budget-friendly car that many people use for city driving. Some people think it doesn't perform very well or feel sturdy.
Car
Nissan Skyline R35
The Nissan Skyline R35 is a fast sports car that is famous for its speed and technology. It's a popular choice among car enthusiasts and is often used in racing.
Car
Honda Civic
The Honda Civic Type R is a sportier version of the regular Civic. It's designed to be faster and more fun to drive, making it a favorite among car fans.
Car
Eagle Talons
The Eagle Talon is a sporty car from the 1990s that was made for people who like fast driving. It has a powerful engine and can be modified to go even faster, which makes it popular with car fans.
Car
MG Metro
The MG Metro is a small car made by the MG brand. It was popular in the UK for being affordable and easy to drive.
Car
MG Midget
The MG Midget is a small sports car that was made by a British company called MG. It's known for being fun to drive and is often restored by car lovers.
Car
Pontiac GTO
The Pontiac GTO is a famous car known for its speed and power, especially popular in the 1960s. The 1964 version is one of the most sought-after models among car collectors.
Car
Mazda Tribute
The Mazda Tribute is a small SUV that can carry a lot of stuff and is good for families. It's designed to be useful for everyday driving and can handle some outdoor adventures too.
Car
Delorean DMC-12
The DeLorean DMC-12 is a cool car that looks different because it has doors that open up like wings. It's famous for being in a movie about time travel, which makes it really popular among fans.
Car
Suzuki Ignis
The Suzuki Ignis is a small car that looks a bit like an SUV, making it good for city driving but also able to handle some rougher roads. It's practical and has a lot of space inside for its size.
Car
Suzuki Ignis Sport
The Suzuki Ignis Sport is a faster and sportier version of the regular Ignis, designed for people who want a little more excitement when they drive. It still has the same small size but feels more fun to drive.
Car
Kia Picanto
The Kia Picanto is a small car that's great for driving around the city because it's easy to park and doesn't use much gas. It's a budget-friendly option for people who need a simple car.
Car
Ford Cortina
The Ford Cortina is a car that was made by Ford and was very common in the UK. The models from 1970 to 1972 are known for being reliable and good for families.
Car
Ford Model T
Car
Ford T Ford
The Ford Model T is an old car that was made a long time ago, and it was really important because it was one of the first cars that many people could afford. It changed how cars were made and helped more people start driving.
Car
Audi Q3
The Audi Q3 is a small luxury SUV that looks nice and is comfortable to drive. It has a lot of fancy features and is great for people who want a stylish car that can also carry things.
Car
Dodge Ram
Car
Ram 2500 Laramie Mega Cab
The Ram 2500 Laramie Mega Cab is a large truck that can carry heavy loads and has a lot of room inside for passengers. It's great for people who need a tough vehicle for work but also want a comfortable ride.
Term
MSRP
MSRP is the price that the car maker suggests you should pay for a new car. Dealers might sell it for more or less than this price depending on demand and other factors.
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I'm Johnny Smith.
I'm your reporter.
And this is Smith & Sniff, a podcast on which two friends talk about cars and many other things.
Welcome to a slightly different Smith & Sniff, but not pedestrianised version.
Not so different because we did this last year, didn't we?
At the same time, there's the gap between Christmas and New Year,
the Meroneum as some people call it.
We walk to the pub in Bath Bath.
Well, guess what we're doing now?
We're having a little stroll down to the boozer.
And we thought we'd record a little bit of podcast while we're doing it.
And then we'll probably record some on the way back and we'll see how that goes.
That's what we did last time.
Yeah, it was unexpectedly usable.
So we're giving it another shot.
We were just talking before we started about Snoop Dogg and 90s West Coast rap music.
But Snoop, particularly, and his insistence on mixing gin with juice.
Yes.
And whether someone needed to have a word with him and introduce him to the idea of tonic water.
Well, most people book in the day.
They get up in the morning and they have an orange juice and apple juice, a cranberry, let's say.
And then at the end of the day to reward themselves for the graft or whatever,
they go, I'm going to have some gin with something now.
Snoop Dogg just fast tracks all of that, doesn't he?
He just puts them in together.
Gin and Juice and Corn Flakes was the original title of that track.
That's right.
Yeah, and also Spag Bowl because he's having dinner and breakfast at the same time.
Can you imagine having a heavy gin with spaghetti bolognese?
Mind you, Snoop famously loves smoking marijuana.
And so he probably would have Corn Flakes and Spag Bowl and Gin and Juice all in the same bowl of an evening
because he's so fantastically baked that he's just really hungry.
He must have a serious metabolism though because he's still extremely scrawny.
He's really thin, isn't he?
Oh, we're walking past an Alhambra.
Say it, Alhambra.
A big shout out to the Trad MPV.
It's a TDI.
I had to double check that it wasn't a V6.
Yeah.
It's nice to see them still in circulation, though.
You know, it's like, I feel like they're like old coins that are gradually being removed from circulation.
Wow, look at that.
It gives nobody really wants so many more.
It's celebrating the marriage of Charles and Diana.
That's a real curio these days, but that's like seeing a say at Alhambra on the street.
We're not actually not too far from where I mentioned in the podcast of the day,
where I saw a Ford Galaxy diesel being pinned from the cold but stationary in a really horrible,
just the noise.
I think we talked about this.
Look at that.
We've got double jazz action here.
Double Mark I jazz.
One of them is hideously paneled down.
Oh, that's an incredible...
Bloody hell, what's happened to that?
It's been...
It's properly rippled, isn't it?
Everyone's really scored it.
They've scored it something.
Down the side of something.
Ironically, the really tidy one is three years younger than the incredibly scuffed one.
Oh, yeah.
But they're both silver as well.
Do you think they bought the older one as a parts cut off?
No, I know what it is.
It's when farmers get a sheepdog before the older sheepdog dies.
Yes.
So it can teach the new one the tricks of the trade before passing away.
I think that's what's happening to this jazz.
But the newer one is all dented.
They've bought a duff puppy in that case.
That's no good, surely.
It might be a friend of the families and they might have found out that it had a fresh dealer supplied crate engine.
I mean, that's assuming that a Honda engine's ever gone pop.
I was talking to someone about...
Well, they brought it up.
They said my grandmother's car the other day.
Yeah.
And it was a jazz.
I've realised I really like jazz.
I know.
I do as well.
Those in Bentley Continental GTs, I don't know why.
I'm getting older and more attracted to them both.
Well, you know.
But with age comes wisdom, right?
They suddenly go, yeah, they're both good, aren't they?
It's actually a really good two car garage.
I was thinking about it.
What, a jazz for popping in sound?
I'd have a yellow jazz.
OK.
And then I'd have a very green Bentley Conti GT.
How are you defining very green?
Not too dark and kind of moody forest.
Lighter than that.
But not kind of viper green Porsche.
Not your sort of Chartreuse type of Porsche colour.
Yeah.
So something in the middle.
But because I'm colour blind, that's as far as you're going to get with me.
So...
Yeah, this colour, sir, we call it, I believe it's green.
It's named our colour blind.
Simply class green.
It's green.
Just take our word for it.
We drove past up the hill from here today.
A house with a first generation Continental GTC on the drive in dark blue.
Right.
But it didn't actually fit on the drive.
It had a very stubby driveway.
And so the nose of the Bentley was poking out slightly onto the pavement.
Yeah.
And there was something very jangly about it.
Like, I've made a few quid.
Gonna get a bloody Bentley.
But it doesn't fit on the drive, Stephen.
It's gonna fit on the drive.
It will.
It's the last thing I do.
Yeah.
And it's just like...
I don't know.
Well, I suppose the trouble is because otherwise it's parked it on the street
and then you're gonna worry that your Bentley's going to get deemed up.
He's just showing everyone that he's got a Bentley chin.
Awesome.
Because his chin is chining out onto the path.
Chinning out onto the path.
Because crucially, this GTC was reversed onto this drive.
Yes.
So it's almost like, look at my grille.
Yeah.
Look at my grille.
Look at my headlights.
This isn't...
Hang on.
There's been your nemesis for years.
No, but it sounds similar.
Let's just quick...
Hang on.
No.
No, not loud enough.
He's on Bluetooth hands-free to somebody.
Yeah.
But no, not loud enough.
I'm telling you, you'd know if it was...
You're here.
That's a four-stroke, though.
I think your nemesis is two-stroke, by the way.
No.
Because I...
No.
I don't know if I've updated you on the late...
The nemesis has clearly had a shift change at work.
Yeah.
Because it's 730 now, which is fine.
Because I'm usually awake by then anyway.
Yeah.
But I tell you what, respect some of my nemesis.
Because he is a sharp timekeeper.
Really?
You can...
It's your new alarm clock.
You can almost...
No, well, I've usually up a little before that, because the kids are, but...
No, you could set your watch by him.
So now I'm up, and I hear this.
Even if I'm at the back of the house, you can hear it go by.
But I know, without looking at the clock, that it's 730.
And I swear to God, it's always within a couple of minutes either side.
Usually early.
That's brilliant.
He's a very, very good and conscientious timekeeper.
I almost now want to stop him.
Not to tell him to stop riding past my frigging house on his noisy bike.
But just to say to him, where do you work?
And can I recommend you for a promotion or a pay rise?
Because I think your timekeeping is exemplary.
And I respect that.
But then he'd probably go, oh, thanks, I'll be great.
I'll get a promotion.
But I'll remind you, if I get a promotion, I'll have to start at work at 635.
So I'm going to have to be riding past here at 630 again.
And I'll go, deal's off.
But also, he gets a promo and he abandons the bike.
Well...
He gets on the jazzy.
No, he never knows.
No, it's such a promotion that he actually buys a Porsche Carrera GT.
But he leaves it in first for the first couple of miles.
Oh, gosh.
Actually, at what point would the novelty of being woken by a Porsche Carrera GT
at 630 in the morning wear off?
I don't know.
I don't really want to get woken up by any car.
And I'm massively interested in cars, as you know.
I still don't want to be particularly woken up.
I think I used to be the person that would wake people
when I lived at home with my Beetle and...
I was going to say, what's the noisiest car you've ever owned?
That I've ever owned?
Yeah.
I mean, Beetle's allowed even when they've got standard exhausts.
Are they?
Yeah, they are, because they're very spluttery.
Oh.
They're very spluttery and cold idle there.
Is this where the Germanic reputation for efficiency
and industrial growth comes from, is in fact that
during the 50s, 60s and into the 80s,
everyone in Germany was just woken up early by a Beetle.
I bet it was.
I thought, well, I might as well go to work now.
Or Trabantz on the other side.
Oh, yes.
Yes, what used to be known as West Germany, it was Beetles.
And then across the Iron Curtain, it was West Germany.
It could be, couldn't it?
You've got to be thinking about rubbish motorbikes.
You know, in a few episodes back,
I was talking about having this fetish for a Honda Goldwing
flat six.
Oh, yes.
And we had a couple of people message to say that there's
people putting flat six Honda Goldwing motors in cars already.
And there's a guy in New Zealand, I think,
that's put one in a Hillman Imp.
And I am so desperate.
Oh, my God.
I am so envious.
I just want to hear it.
And I want to drive it.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I think it could be just the most beautiful thing.
But that could be mega.
Because it's quite light, isn't it?
And could be set up to properly corner.
And the flat six is obviously a very low light engine
for a motorcycle.
So it could be the best combo of all time.
As a Formula One engineer might say,
I wonder what the weight delta between an Imp
and a Goldwing is.
I bet it's not very big.
I bet it's not, am I?
It's probably like seven kilos or something
in the Imp's favor.
But we had someone who's to do with, I think,
either parts procurement or technical end of
co-part email,
the Smith & Sniff email address,
to say that they particularly liked my description
of a Honda Golf when I said,
the bars are wanked.
Was this the guy who said,
I will make it my mission to include
in our listings of a crashed Goldwing
that it has wanked handle.
I'm waiting with baited breath to see that one.
I can't wait.
I wonder if you, perhaps,
if you put, we're going to cross over here.
We could do it.
No, because there's no cars coming.
I'm admiring the name of this florist.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Is this it?
No, no, this is farty.
This is too straight.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Smell.
No, smell.
Oh.
Wow.
No.
That's, that's not my nemesis, but crikey.
That was, that's, that's an angry
wasp of a bike.
That's the sort of bike
that you'd see on a born identity film.
Yes.
It's an assassin type bike.
Yes.
They'd have a rifle across the back
in a nondescript hold-all.
Because what that bike is saying is,
yeah, I know you're going to hear me,
but I'm going to be so fast
at shooting that guy in the head.
Yes.
It doesn't matter.
No.
It doesn't, does it?
And also, it's one of those bikes where
even a seasoned assassin, they might
not be a particularly good bike helms person.
And if that, when that gets on the band
as the, on the power band.
Oh, my God.
It would, that will rear up like a
fucked off horse and it will throw off
its occupant.
I tell thee.
Do they rear those?
Those can rear.
Yeah.
You dance at the front on those.
There's sort of motocross type
Larry bikes.
The front wheel is just dancing
with the ground the whole time.
It's just constantly trying to lift.
So when you're really trying to
make some serious headway,
you've got to shift your body weight
quite heavily.
Yeah.
And you've got to really,
you've got to shift early.
Yeah.
Because otherwise you are
scraping off the number plate the whole time
or going down the road on your back
depending on how...
Just because their
engine note is so high.
It's really high.
That they just don't sound
torquey to me at all.
Oh boy, the power band.
But they're so light, I suppose it's just...
Yeah.
They're just going to flip.
I think you've got to have massive
upper body strength to be able to
wrestle a bike like that on the limit
for any amount of time.
And I don't have...
People look at me and they know I'm hard,
but I don't have a massive amount of
upper body strength.
So it's all in the lower.
It's all in the lower.
Like a kangaroo.
Yeah, exactly like that.
Or some kind of dinosaur.
Yeah, it's exactly what it is.
I'm working on it.
Well, the new year is almost here
and it's time to get back on the
bus-marked exercise.
Why would there be a bus mark?
Never mind. Go on.
What's the most important thing
when you're exercising?
Is this about shorts again?
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Holy don't just make hydration drinks.
They also sell energy drinks
that actually taste nice
and they do milkshakes.
And who doesn't like a milkshake?
Steve.
Who?
My friend Steve.
He's never had a milkshake
in his life. He's weird.
Personally, I love them.
In fact, I had a holy milkshake
this morning
and this afternoon
I'm going to make up a hydration drink
and then I'm going to go for a run.
Good for you, Rich.
Don't forget your shorts.
I won't forget my shorts
this time.
Yeah.
I don't know
if we mentioned this last year.
I should have re-listened
to last year's podcast
because we're walking
on a route and there's a worry
that we're just going to repeat ourselves
in a very slightly different way.
We are going to pass this
really tidy Discovery 2
that lives down here.
On the 04 plate.
On the 04.
So yeah, a late one.
And a Smart 4-2 there.
Yeah.
On the 2010s.
10 on the 10.
Bloody Miss Smart 4-2s.
Can I say that?
I miss them.
I like them a lot.
Yeah.
I can absolutely remember
what they feel like.
So I suppose they were different, weren't they?
But yeah, look at that disco.
It's really tidy.
And it just sits here.
I assume it's used regularly
because it's not collapsed
onto its air suspension in any way.
You know something.
It's a particularly leafy part
of town, Richard.
It's so beautiful.
Isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
Lovely.
Flagstones on the ground.
Flagstones also, yeah.
Slippery and hazardous
but so visually pleasing.
Raw-time railings.
Heritage, heritage area.
And so heritage spec,
part of town, yeah.
And lovely graceful trees
bowing over the road,
almost hugging the road space.
Framing it.
Framing the road space.
Framing it.
Framing.
Love it.
Framing the road space.
I know.
So that's also a lovely,
it's been raining,
but it's a lovely wind tree.
Mild wind tree evening.
It is mild that we're experiencing.
Oh, by the way,
I've seen this a few times
parked here.
This is a relatively recent addition.
Is that a four-wheel drive pandas?
I don't know if it's a four-wheel drive,
but it's just one of those
four-wheel drive look pandas,
but it's orange,
which I respect a lot
that someone's gone for one of the jazzier colours.
So that's cool.
Sort of like Cotswold rescue colour.
Yeah.
Managing rescue.
Yes, yeah.
It's a big,
people these rescuing in the Cotswolds.
Well, when they run out of gin,
they're a real emergency star.
Ah, right.
Yes, exactly.
First world emergency response team.
You've had so much gin
that even you ruddy-faced Cotswoldian
local Conservative councillor has decided
you probably shouldn't drive.
Then just call us,
and our bright orange fit panda
will be at your door
with a big flagon of gin in no time.
Don't worry.
There's a wicker basket in the boot
and it's full of ham and crackers.
Jesus.
Rich, rich cheeses.
Because that gout won't keep itself going
on its own, will it?
That's right.
So you can fall asleep,
get back with your mouth open.
It's just the gout squad.
Right.
Thanks.
Perhaps as time goes on,
the panda starts to get more and more red.
You know, I thought your panda was orange,
you know, it's gone bright red now.
Like your nose and trousers.
And the doctor's told me,
just put your brakes on with this.
It's getting out of control.
We're going to have to amputate
one of its wheels.
What does she know?
I'll continue as I was.
I've been doing it for 60 years.
I shall continue for another 60.
I was telling someone just before Christmas
about Dick Van Dyke's 100th birthday.
Is he still...
Yeah.
He's still all there and everything, isn't he?
Yeah, yeah.
He's like an active 100.
And he's brilliant as well
because I was saying this,
I was talking to a couple of mates about it
and because I saw this interview
was embedded in this article that said
the interviewer in this video said to him,
you know, what's the secret of your long life?
And he was just like,
don't ask me because I don't know.
And...
What?
What?
Then we were going through a list of things
that Dick Van Dyke could probably just say
is responsible for his long life
because who can disprove it,
including unconvincing cockney accidents
and animated penguins.
If he just went,
well, the secret of it is
dancing with animated animals.
Oh, shit, okay.
But the amazing thing about Dick Van Dyke
is that he was,
by his own admission,
basically an alcoholic,
into his, I think, late 40s.
So he was almost 50 when he knocked booze on the head
because it was a problem.
Had this been a escalating law?
Well, I think so, yeah,
but I think he'd just been a total boozehound
for a lot of his,
well, just a younger life.
I mean, you know, until he was almost 50.
So he gave up the booze,
but he was still a heavy smoker.
And he fight,
he said giving up the facts
was harder than the booze,
and he finally knocked that on the head
well into his 50s.
What the hell?
And now he's 100,
and it's a bit like, you know,
if you'd absolutely been hammering booze and cigarettes
until basically you're 50 and a little bit more.
Yeah.
You'd assume that's it.
You're running out of the clock fast on that.
Conventional medical wisdom would have it.
Dick Van Dyke's animated penguin genes
are really strong, presumably,
because I don't think he should be a benchmark.
They must be hugely strong,
because he's effectively done the first
50 years of his life on the original cam belt.
Yeah, yeah.
And he's one of those guys
where every time he takes his car in
for the service,
they ask him when he was last,
when he last did an oil change.
He's like, well,
it's still got oil in it,
so it's fine.
Not really understanding the process of this.
What it's all about.
Yeah.
Now he did the first half of his life
on the original cam belt
and also absolutely hammered it from cold
all the time.
Did he used to pin the throttle
to de-ice the windows?
Yes.
He's one of those guys.
It's the Dick Van Dyke method.
Clutchless gear changes.
That was the Van Dyke method.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
The original clutch.
How have you managed that?
Well, because I don't use it
along the type actually,
but almost Germanic in the
sort of mechanical unsympathetic approach to
the car stays in first gear.
You get in it in the morning.
Of course, it's already in first.
So release the clutch as soon as the engine catches.
You don't even let the oil like flicker.
Oh yeah.
She's gone.
No, I think this thing,
he gets in the car.
What kind of shoes
would Dick Van Dyke have worn?
I don't know.
Probably quite some elegant loafers
of some sort.
Yeah, I think so.
So brooks perhaps in the sixters?
Yes, brooks.
50s and 60s and brooks.
Plants are broke to the floor
and then turns the car on.
Oh, shit.
Shit, shit.
That's the lifestyle choice that he made.
He was quoted as saying,
chokes are for pussy.
Do you believe in that?
Dick Van Dyke was, maybe still is,
a jagman.
Of course.
Which then suddenly makes sense
because Dick Van Dyke is one of these people
who had a brief flicker of going,
was he originally British?
And I was like, no,
because of course he had
a terrible unconvincing British accent.
Yeah.
There's no way he is,
I think of Dutch ancestry,
but he's American.
And he had a jag.
He had a jag at XJ,
like the last shape of XJ
that caught fire a few years ago.
Yeah, and he had to be rescued
or sort of helped out of it
as it burned.
Really?
So this was the last iteration
of the XJ?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The sort of that sort of
kind of really...
The one with the claw mark real light.
Yes, exactly, yeah.
Oh.
Dick Van Dyke would have a noise,
but it burst into flames
on a freeway in California.
And he had to be helped out of it
and it burnt to the grounds.
Well, hang on a minute.
He also has to hurry up
and releases the next generation of jag.
That's the thing.
Van Dyke should be
the first bar guy in.
He could be a brilliant ambassador for it.
Well, they've got to get
their skates on him,
because you know,
well, let's say the man's on
borrowed time.
Now that he had like a crack cocaine habit
until he was in his 60s
and he just went,
yeah, knocked it on the head
and it seems to be okay.
That's fine, yeah.
I just don't...
I used to do a lot of angel dust
in my 70s.
But I'm over that now
because I'm 100.
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
I grow my own poppies these days.
But just for ornamental purposes.
Nothing more.
What's happened to the bonnet
on this one series?
I think it's had a slow,
but quite sharp incident.
It's had a really small
and surprisingly high nudge
into something at the front.
There's just not the bonnet up.
That's the only acceptable body shape
for one series in my humble opinion.
What, a two-door coupe?
Two-door coupe.
I think you're right.
Yeah, all of the others look wrong.
Yeah, I know, I agree.
And that's the thing,
and even the conversable,
that doesn't look right
because it looks like a bathtub.
It does look like a bathtub,
you're right.
Yeah, but the,
yeah, that,
they're quite neat, aren't they?
If anything,
they're sort of getting better
the more time goes on.
I think they're going to be
really highly revered
because for a certain generation,
a younger generation,
that's like the cool car
that they bought on finance
when they were 22.
Yes.
And they will have inadvertently
sold or crashed or badly modified it
or all of the above.
And so when they hear about 40,
they'll go,
God, if only I could find
a really tidy like 120
or whatever it was.
Well, so the 1M version of those
obviously is already a sought-after car
and the values of those are solid.
Yeah.
They were 50 grand, weren't they, New?
50 or 52?
Yeah.
Gosh.
But there was a 135, I think,
in that shape.
Yeah.
Or maybe a 130 as well.
M140 was a weapon of...
But I just think,
would it be one of those cars?
It's like one of the sort of
larger six-cylinder engines
in one of those,
the manual gearbox.
One of those cars,
we just go,
this is really great.
It's forgotten about it,
but it's actually really brilliant.
I think because you can buy
one series really cheap now,
like a fairly bad condition,
the base model one,
you can rest-zone mod them
by putting a six
from another BMW model in one.
Right.
And you can build a skid,
you know, a skid tool with...
About what people are doing,
isn't it?
Yeah.
They're like mad drift cars.
Which is what they did do
with BMW compacts,
but compacts have got
just as scarce.
Yeah.
They're more scarce
than Pangolins now,
BMW compacts.
They're crispy around the edges.
Quite some of them
didn't know they'd hit.
Yeah.
The Bob tailgain got hold of them
and what they do is
they'd fuck around with our minds
and then shave five mil off it
each year
to the fact you're like,
was the BMW compact
always that sure?
I just can't...
Like some kind of
crazy version of the Twits.
Like Cliff erosion.
Where, you know,
the British Isles
gets shorter every year.
Wait a minute.
Yeah.
Why has the B-pillar
collapsed into the C?
Have you been shaving back
this compact, you idiot?
Yeah.
With a spokeshave.
Well,
what have you been up to tonight?
Right.
I was spokesaving my
compact.
We're at the pub.
So...
We'd better go in
and do what we do at the pub.
Better go in.
We'll see you in a bit.
Bye.
Let's go.
OK.
Well...
Well...
Well now, so...
Well...
I'm...
I'm fueled by...
by three points of cider.
Three?
Is it three?
I don't know how many...
How many was it?
Two.
It's just two.
Was it two?
Yeah, it would be quite good.
We just walked past a building
that's got temperance
hall written on it.
Yeah.
And we...
would have been
allowed in there
in the olden days
because, yeah,
we've been quite temperance
for a couple of pints.
Is that class as temperance?
I think, well...
I don't even know.
The really relaxed temperance society.
You know, you can have some booze,
but just not too much.
It's fine.
Yeah, well, that's fine
because I'm on a sort of
fast idle now
and then
we're going to, hopefully...
Well...
Richard thinks
that we might be able
to catch last orders
at another pub on my way.
Catch lasties.
Which would be nice, actually.
That's nothing more satisfying
than catching lasties.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
That's fine.
We'll call enough to order.
That's fine.
I only want another pint.
Yeah.
Planning on staying.
Yeah, that's right.
Or, you know,
if I'm feeling a bit saucy,
I might grab myself
a couple of
Thumbs Worth of Captain Morgan
extra spiced.
Just...
We were just laughing
about Captain Morgan
and the Captain Morgan story.
For a very old podcast.
Very old.
I think it was actually
from a video.
Was it one of our
early videos?
I think it was a
video.
A Captain Morgan story.
We probably don't need to
rerun it.
We could just put a link
to that somewhere or other,
but it's still...
I was just saying to you
there before we started
recording that
quite often,
it's usually because
I'm in a pub
and I've seen a bottle
of Captain Morgan
behind the bar.
Yeah.
That story pops back
into my head.
Has been responsible
more than once
for
someone behind the bar
turning back around again.
There's you...
There must be...
Why is this customer
just suddenly giggling
to themselves?
Nothing else has changed.
You're just thinking
of the terrible...
Thinking about the captain
and the ruined trousers.
Yeah, note to self.
Never wear linen trousers
for a nightclub
and or
drink Captain Morgan
extra spice.
Yeah, bloody hell.
Oh, dear.
Well, there we go.
I
I was thinking
before you
arrived this evening
about
since New Year
is approaching
and I was suddenly like
I don't really do New Year's resolutions.
No, but I've got
a couple of things
sort of
work wise.
I was like,
I really need to crack on with that.
But I was thinking
do I have any
car
New Year's resolutions
or, you know, it's more like it's
things, right?
What in 2026
what do I want to
do?
I think
don't people do this, it's not...
It's not called manifesting
but there's a thing where
like people just kind of
you do your little kind of
lists of things.
This is what I want to
achieve in the next.
Whatever.
Goal setting.
Maybe that's it.
Car goal setting.
I like to think
you have some realistic ones
like low-hanging fruit
that you genuinely could do
if you put your mind to it.
Yeah.
And then you have other ones
where it's just sort of
slightly more
higher
bar goal driven.
So it looks like a bloke
is hammering a mountain bike
in his shed.
But it's also,
it's a garage, isn't it?
He's got a garage
but he's put the
up and over door
halfway up.
My dad used to do
the half-comp door.
That's a ventilation
position, sure.
Yeah, yeah.
You're doing something
which involves
gassing off.
Either you're painting
or vanishing.
That's what
Dad used to do.
I see.
So you need a bit of through air.
But it's a bit cold
so you don't want to leave it
fully open.
We're just
passing
a
K13
Micra.
Yeah, they're shit, aren't they?
They are shit.
The most disappointing
of the Micras.
Yeah, they are.
But it's got
a jazz-spec dent
in the boot lid.
Yeah, it looks like
someone's hit it
a number of times
with a golf club.
When we mentioned the,
well, in fact,
it was a listener,
wasn't it?
And it's the all-honder jazzes,
Mark-1 jazzes have a
dent, a high dent
in the boot lid.
And they were right.
And then people
came forward with theories,
and I think the best
and most persistent
and probably accurate
theory is that
a driver of a certain age.
And even if it's got
rear parking sensors,
it's an object
that is too high
to be painted on.
And I don't know
what that object would be.
No.
I always think like
a lorry trailer or something,
but they're even higher.
That would put the back
screen through.
Sure.
A high-cornered skip lorry.
Or just a skip, I suppose.
A skip.
Because skips are bastards.
Well, because they've got that
because they've got
the shape of a skip.
Yeah.
The parking sensors would be going,
well, the bit I can see
is quite far away.
Yeah, but it's Shampford.
It's Shampford.
Yeah, you see,
it's a Shampford thing.
Just asked Tiff Nadel.
Tiff said,
I remember
when we were on
this gear,
he had a skip-related incident.
After...
After...
After lunch
when we were filming.
I am pretty sure
it was either a box-fresh Skyline R35,
so not a Skyline but a GTR.
Or
a then-new Civic R.
I will ask him,
but he basically
got in the car,
selected reverse
and sort of didn't check
his rear view mirror
because when he parked it there,
the skip wasn't there.
I think it had been delivered
while he was eating his ham egg
and chips.
And
and he just packed it
straight into a skip.
An unexpected skip.
Yes.
The skip dropped
completely full then.
I think you might have
mentioned this before on the show.
Yeah.
Because it was...
I think it was
in the Sun GTR.
The
our old top gear
and grunt or studio director,
Brian Klein,
famously
not a
not a particularly competent driver.
Even he would probably admit that.
And Brian's tales of
minor and low-speed accidents are
many and hilarious,
but at one point
I think he was directing one of
Clarkson's
Christmas DVDs or videos
back in the day.
Oh, gosh, yeah.
What a cash cow.
Yeah, gosh.
Well, Brian has a delightful house in
Hampstead
and has owned a series of very exotic
cars
off the back of,
you know,
sell-throughs.
Well, because he rode the
90s, particularly 90s and 2000s boom in
Christmas
videos and DVDs.
So all those things you used to see in
the supermarket and said,
you know, Barbara Windsor's
fart yourself thin.
That was Brian directed
so many of those,
but it was also his company
that made them.
Shit.
The coin that he made in that
period.
Coin, my friends.
Shit.
So he, um,
yeah, he had some really lovely cars.
Sweet, sweet cars?
Sweet, sweet cars.
But he wasn't necessarily very good at
driving one, but he...
I think it was,
they were doing something,
but it wasn't Top Gear.
It was, it was,
I think a Jeremy Christmas thing.
Filming on, I think,
Campbell Airfield
and they had the whole
massive, this is before
Campbell became a sort of
aircraft graveyard where
they just dismantled plates.
It was just a huge,
open expanses of nothing.
And, um,
but there was one skip
that had been put there for some reason.
One whole of the airfield.
Yeah, it was just a skip.
And Brian managed to drive into it.
It was over Jeremy going,
still don't know how he did it.
Like mathematically it's almost
impossible, but he still managed it.
I actually reversed into
balls of the other night.
I've just remembered.
What?
In my Tesla.
Oh.
Yeah.
When the rain was thrashing down
and it was quite stormy.
Is that an owl?
Yeah, I was going to say,
I hope that's been picked up on the mic
because it sounds really clear.
I'm going to communicate with it.
I'm quite good at this.
You're listening to
Winterwatch with Johnny Smith.
Unfortunately, the owl's gone quiet.
I think the owl feels threatened by my
maybe my owl.
Did you accidentally tell it to fuck off?
It thinks there's a local hard case
owl now coming out.
Yeah.
I've said,
are you staring at my point
in owl chat?
Point of
mouse.
Are they territorial owls?
Yeah.
They must be mustn't they?
Because they're pretty fucking hard.
I think their talons
are amongst the most fearsome of the talons.
Because
are they?
They have got serious talon grip.
But of all the birds,
are they any birds with eyes on the front?
They're the most attractive of the
the evil birds.
They are the best design of bird.
Yeah.
But especially the very cute
but down below in the foot department
they're lethal as hell.
Also sometimes quite attractively
patterned as well.
They've got good colour and trim.
Amazing.
In the owl
in the owl world.
But it's true.
Trim levels.
What's that mate?
Is that a tawny?
You've got tawny.
Stand to see deeply.
Yeah, eyes on the front
so they're just going,
yeah, we're just predators, mate.
They've got an amazing turning circle.
They have to have their heads, haven't they?
They're sort of
London taxi
spare.
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What were we saying before?
I don't know.
I'm a bit pissed.
I don't know.
As I was saying,
you'll see your car
checked as of 2026.
And I realized, of course,
that my Metro is on that
because I will finally get it
and be able to drive it
next year.
At least I hope so.
It's nearly done.
I kind of slightly got ghosted
by someone who I thought
could sort me out
with a couple of parts
that we need.
And the guys at the den
are kind of waiting
for some coolant hoses
that I've promised
that I can find.
So I've got some people
who can hook me up
with the good shares.
I think the thing
about your Metro
is that you could have
put it on the road
a lot sooner,
but you're going through
it absolutely
fastidiously
because it's such
an amazing...
Well, I am not.
The den is
because they're the
best.
You take care of this
and they're very good at that.
And it is
because of it being
such an exquisite example
off the mark.
Did I send you a video
of them doing the powder coating
on the wheels and stuff?
No.
Is it pervy?
They've brought those wheels
up at treats
and they weren't bad
to start with them.
Now they are.
The car is going to be amazing.
No.
We're just coming up
to the other pub
we're going to go to
and I think it's already
sharp.
No.
Can we have it on it?
Are there any other
pubs you know?
That's right.
But I think we might
be out of luck here
because it's ready past.
Come on up.
I'd like to worship
another pint.
Right.
Well, we've got to go down
here and we're going to have to
go quick.
Right.
Well, I'm quite happy
to walk fast.
Yeah.
We are really going to be
going to be...
So you're going to
be putting...
You're going to put some
newt miles on the
MG Metro.
Yeah.
It's going to be exciting.
I can't wait.
We'll do a video of that
for the Lake Brake Show.
We will.
A maiden voyage
somewhere.
I just need to...
You just sort of calm down
and enjoy these things.
Yeah.
You do?
Don't need to accumulate.
Don't need to accumulate.
Nothing else.
I'm...
2026 is the year of
finishing for me.
Finish when you started.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a song by
Pat Benatar, I think.
We said that.
It was about
because she was restoring
an MG midget
and she just
Yeah.
Restraiced it about her.
Pat was
at the time,
I think she had a
Buick Riviera
in a lot of pieces
in her
condo.
Condo?
Yeah, because this is
the sort of thing
Pat Benatar
she gets stiff
on her deal
or something
that she's still
just got a condo.
She got told
and I've seen this
in many descriptions
on eBay and the like
98% complete.
But unfortunately
your idea of measuring that
your idea of 98%
and my idea
of 98%
are bloody different.
And as a result
I think
Pat Benatar is searching
for a couple of elusive pieces
and it's one of those pieces.
Trim, is it trim?
Is it mainly trim?
Yeah, it is.
It's vexing Benatar.
Yeah, but the problem is
it's like bits of trim
which you need
to find another bit
in order to put that bit on
because it's a very
staged
assembly.
Yeah.
And Benatar's
understandably
got really hacked off
and so she's bought
another car
as her interim car
and I can relate to Benatar
because I've done that.
She's bought.
She's trying to put
this beautiful Riviera back together.
I heard
a sweet car.
I heard that
sometimes Gladys Knight
would ring her and go
Pat, I hear you're looking
for a period correct
instrument binocle
for the Riviera
but
it's got to be a 67.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, why have you got one?
No.
No.
She's just hang up.
Yeah, Gladys Knight
really goaded her.
Really.
She's mean isn't it
because Gladys Knight
knew full well
that she'd got a 64 GTO
in absolutely
show-winning condition.
Sometimes she'd just go out
and win a show
just to bait Benatar.
Okay.
And how's your GM muscle, Pat?
Let's see it
for the backstage
of the Grammys.
I
I was recently
filming with Colin Furze.
Oh.
Yeah.
There's a video
that's going to go out with him
soon on his
well, on his garage
but also his
back to the future tribute
truck.
Yeah.
And
reminded me
how much I
I really would
like a DeLorean
even though
I know the disappointment
that Laser had.
Yes.
But I'd still
really like one
because his looks so good.
He's got such a nice one.
I just
I feel like that's
it's an itch
I must scratch.
Not in 2026.
Okay.
But further down
unless I find one
that's just
appallingly cheap
and
and it calls me.
You know like
is it
pirates
and men of the sea
in the old days.
Is it a siren
that would call them
into the sea
and then basically
you die.
Yeah.
So the
Yeah.
Would be basically going
hey pirate guys
I
I'm almost certain
I'll have sex with you
if you come this way
and then before you know
it was gashed on the rocks.
This is for you.
This is the DeLorean song.
Yeah.
This is the easy
rasp of a
PRV
V6 engine
with emissions control
and it has like
47 horsepower left.
Come this way.
I've got 110 horsepower.
You've driven much better.
But you've never
experienced something
that looks this good.
Come on.
Oh look.
It's a Honda E.
Is that yellow
or white?
No it's not.
Ah it's the best color.
I love them.
Johnny stopped
to admire the Honda E.
I think the
the odds are stacked
against us.
I'm willing to
still go
against all odds
the song
of Phil Collins.
No but I think
generally just like
mathematically
we now can't get
to the pub before
like they've called lasties.
But what about
if we go in there
and
just say that you need
your medicine?
Because what I realized
is I said
let's go to another pub
but there is actually
there was a slightly closer pub
but it's just not very good
and I blotted it out
of my mind
but we could have gone there.
It's not important drinking
and not a very good pub.
It's a terrible pub.
I'm not going in there then.
But the good pub
is now
the good pub is still
five minutes away
and we're five minutes
from closing time so
I think we're out of luck here
we're just going to have to abort.
It's okay I've got
You've got any Captain Morgan
at your eye?
I've got
and linen trousers
we have some
I forgot to say Lister's
right at the top of the show
this is effectively
our
Smith & Sniff
Christmas party
which involves several pints
and packets of peanuts
together
and actually
we're still working
that's how diligent we are
because we're still
recording material
just absolutely devoid of any substance
we're still recording
Well it's
Suzuki Ignis 3-Daw
Yeah that lives there
I love them
and do we see that?
There's someone in this neighbourhood
who has an Ignis Sport
I don't know
I see it sometimes
and then it's not there for a while
but then it's back again
and so I sort of think
that they keep it somewhere for best
and that's good
They're probably doing some
time trial work with it
Oh maybe
I reckon
Can we buy some cans on the way back
and eat and drink them in a hedge
just for old times sake
Well I've got some cans at my house
Yeah actually
I might even have some
and we can just legitimately
drink them at your house
Yeah we are allowed to
we're adults
we can do that
I need to sit in that hedge
Oh man
The things you used to do
if you remember going to a house party
and stashing boo strategically
and all that stuff
A portion of my life where
Breaker Lager was a thing
Yeah I missed that Beau
I completely missed that
Did you?
Yeah
I know the name but I've never
it's never touched my lips
should we say
I think the point of Breaker Lager
was that it was quite strong
and quite cheap
Was it a bit awful though?
Well at the time it didn't seem it
but then you know
I wish the listeners were here
Young and foolish you wish this
because they could enjoy it
we've got quite a nice vista here
we're doing a sort of fresh quark
on a hillside
Do you know that thousands of people
listen to this
it would be like the pied pipers of shite
just walking through the streets of Bath Bath
Can you imagine
all these people coming behind us going
what are they saying now
All the listeners might follow us
and then we
on the promise of getting last orders
but actually not
and then we go
do we all go back to Richards
he's got a couple of cans in the fridge
The most amazingly disappointing public
disappointing pub crawl
Do you want me to name all the vehicles
MG3
MG3
Keer Picanto was that?
Surprisingly neat and not shit
car they were quite good
They were
Although I subsequently found out
that apparently a lot of that car
was basically a sort of reverse engineered
Punto underneath
Bull
Yeah
because from the days of
Chinese companies
that's Rio
Her name is Rio
She's an exceptionally good value
Keer at the time
Wasn't that
I think that was her headline in car magazine
Her name is Rio and she's crap
Yes
That's right
This
is a hell of a
I know who wrote that
I was like
Who was it?
It's Greg Fountain
Was it?
Yeah
Okay
Well done Greg
What's that with the larger on it Shreve?
Route 4
God that's a number 52 plate
2002
Yeah
It's cracking on 25 year old car
Yeah
It doesn't really matter
No it doesn't and it's also obviously doing
sterling work still
That's kind of weird
So that's a 23
nearly 24 year old car
Yeah
Probably has no affection given to it
No
It's on the key
Done
Is that a polo dune?
Yes it is
Yeah yeah yeah
I can't think of that
Oh mate Charlie out of Waymo has just bought one of those
I noticed the other week
Oh yeah
I did notice that on
Interesting choice
Yeah good car
Cool
So
Yeah 20
23 year old
car
Yeah
That's just being used
Clearly that's a working car
Someone's got ladders on the roof with that
They need that to do their job
And that is still doing sterling work
But
That's pretty nuts because that'd be
Someone in 1995 using a 1970
1972
Cortina
You did sort of see them around
But they always looked very sad and shabby
Oh they'd be tired AF wouldn't they
Very tired
I don't know if I said this in a previous podcast
Forgive me if I did
But I've had a few units
But um
Next year
26
I will have
I'll have had my beetle for 30 years
Oh yes
And that's scary because
Was it a 30 years old when I bought it
What year is it
66
Yes it was
So it was 30 when I got it
And I've had it 30
It's all circularities for that
That's good
Yeah so
At some point next year
I need to start its rebuild
It'll probably be on New Year's Eve
But so
But I feel like it deserves it
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Now, if you rebuilt it
Yeah, for another 30 years
The 30 years has to be a 90 year old car
Which is feasible because you know
And then they source out the London to Brighton
And update it so there's
Why isn't the London to Brighton
We need to do the London to Brian
Why is it not?
In 26
Could they not do like, you know
Le Mans, for example, has categories
And there's
L and Q are all the rest of it
They'll just do London to Brighton
But just go, this year
There's a 70s category
70s?
I suppose it's not very challenging
Is it just drive from London to Brighton
And say a princess
It would be if you had one arm tied behind your back
Don't you think? And it's a manual car
Yeah
Just make it a little bit more spicy
Which arm?
You're dominant
Oh, well, but then you see you and me
Oh, we be fucks
Because we're both left-handed
To get a left-hand drive car
But
I don't know
No, hang on, it'd be alright for us, wouldn't it?
Well, no, because you've tied your dominant hand
Behind your back, so you're going to have to reach across
With your right hand to change gear
Unless it's a left sucker
Yeah, that'd be terrible
That would be awful
If
I don't
If
Different kind of owl
If it was
We need to work out the mechanics of this
Who organises London to Brighton
Anyway, I have no idea
I thought it was Lord Montague
But I don't think he's no longer with us
Is it just something that happens
Like nobody organises it
Completely organic
It's such a well-oiled machine
Just people of a certain age
With vintage cars
You and I turn up
As if we've officially ended
But we haven't
And what we've done is we've bought
One of those Chinese EVs
That looks like a Model T Ford type thing
You know, if we're going round
And doing tours of
Historic places and we pretend
We just throw a load of old soil at it
And we pretend it's a 1906 thing
We'll just make up a company
Because nobody could keep track
Of what was going on back then
Just go, oh yeah, no
That's absolutely, it's a
Boulagibon Foulibard
Did you not hear of them?
They were actually
Despite the name
It's the Panston on Hippotown
Panston
Sorry, not Panston
No, it's a freak seshik
I don't know if you've heard of them
But they made seven cars
They were based out of Samour
In the Loire Valley
And tragically
Everybody involves
Yes, they all died
In 1901
But ironically
The one survivor became
Peugeot
But anyway, I hope you're going to let me enter
No, it is electric, yes
I know there's a lot of Chinese writing
Where's part of the restoration
We undertook a great expense
Look, I'm wearing
Everything I'm wearing is tweed
And you have to let me take part
Because it is drizzling
And my arms are becoming
I've had a winner's hipflask
Made in preparation
For concreteness event
So therefore, let me in
Guys, let me in
But also it turns out
That you're fake London's
Because it's using a modern Chinese EV
Powertrain
Has
907 horsepower
It's incredibly dangerous
Because it's on the tyres
From a rally grifter
Well, it will have tiny little tyres, won't it?
Of course, yeah
Even though it's a grifter
It's just like some kind of like 80s racing bike
Right about that saddle
And then off you go with the 907 horsepower
And it's wheel spinning all the way across the south
Well, one wheel peeling
One wheel
Well, to be authentic
To the absolutely batshit
Engineering of the area
You would just make it one wheel drive
For some reason or other
Yeah, and its main drive
System would be your leather belt
Your best leather belt
That I've spent all night
Soaking in some sort of solution
Your in
Yeah, it would be ammonia, wouldn't it?
But ever since the buckle goes over the drive
The drive
Makes a horrible noise
Well, we've got plenty of time
We've got sands for this
As we've discussed before, for some reason
The London Subrison always takes place
In the most drizzly grey part of the year
They could have it in July
And it would be lovely, but no
No, that's not hard enough
My brother was crewing this year
As usual and he said
Amazingly, it didn't rain as much as normal
So is it?
Well, you mean it stopped for three minutes
Yeah, so everyone's clothes
Didn't absorb quite as much precipitation
As they usually do
Was everyone incredibly disappointed by this
Yeah, because of course
Pretty much every car was open topped
Yeah, I don't think any of the cars
For the London to Brian
It's amazing, isn't it? There's no point
For years and years that they won't go
You don't, but I do all that
Can we put a roof on this?
Look at this, here we are
We're back at my house and Johnny's insight
Yeah, I've come down in the little Honda
Most of the nose with an Audi Q3
Which looks...
I mean, I don't even know
It looks like a monster truck
I'll just run across the road
I think so
It's embarrassing we have to look
But I mean, yeah, it is
Yeah, TFSI
TFSI
I'll sit on my news resolutions
TFSI is an exclamation
Yeah
Yeah, the dog's just shouting the carpet
TFSI again
All right, well
Looks like a new FFS, isn't it?
It is
There's another resolution for 2026
As we approach my dacha spring
Can I touch it?
Yeah, not too hard because it'll fall over
It's very light
My wife has raised an objection
That I took the wheel trims off
But she doesn't like the steel wheel look
So I need to find a compromise
I think she thinks it looks like a damaged
A higher car
It's a body work repair
I like this look
But she doesn't and she's started driving this now
So I need to get some hubcaps
Of some sort, but I don't know what fit
I can find something for you
I was thinking original
Oh, moon disks
They're really small wheels on that
It's also got very high ground clearance
Well, we're on a slope because as we know
My driveway is very slopey
But when you put the handbrake on the slope
The back goes up and you could climb
Into the reunion
You're really good, couldn't you?
You're really good
Right, well, that's quite enough of this
But thank you for listening
Happy New Year everyone
We'll see you on the other side
Until then, goodbye
I just want to wish everybody
A festive time
I don't know what was funny about that
What was funny about that
And I just want to say a massive thank you
As Richard unlocks his door badly
To everybody that's listened to this
From day one
I can't believe we're still doing it
It's really not worth us doing it
I don't think
And on that
On that thought of things
Thought of things
A lot of things
Goodbye
Goodbye our merchandise
We've mugs and hats
But still no ties
One day we will make those pies
But in the meantime
Guys, hey guys
Like and subscribe
And maybe leave a nice review
Like and subscribe
We know you know just what to do
Like and subscribe
We don't want to take the piss
Like and subscribe
But we were told to ask for this
Like and subscribe
Like and subscribe
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Like and subscribe
Like and subscribe
Like and subscribe
Thought of things
On a lot of these things
Hannah Burner, are those the cozy Tommy John pajamas you're buying?
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Hi, this is Joe from Vanta.
In today's digital world, compliance regulations are changing constantly, and earning customer
trust has never mattered more.
Vanta helps companies get compliant fast and stay secure with the most advanced
AI automation and continuous monitoring out there.
So whether you're a startup going for your first SOC2 or ISO 27001 or a growing enterprise
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And I'm not just saying that because I work here.
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About this episode
A casual stroll through Bath leads Johnny and Richard into a humorous discussion about cars, music, and life. They reminisce about Snoop Dogg's gin and juice, share stories about their favorite vehicles like the Honda Jazz and BMW 1 Series, and reflect on their own automotive journeys. The episode is filled with playful banter, unexpected anecdotes, and a light-hearted look at car culture, all while enjoying the festive atmosphere of the season. Their witty exchanges touch on everything from car restoration goals to the quirks of various models.
Audi Q3
Bentley Continental
BMW 1 Series
BMW M140
Delorean DMC-12
Dodge Ram
Dodge Viper
Eagle Talon
Ford Cortina
Ford Galaxy
Ford Model T
Ford T
Honda Civic
Honda Jazz/Fit
Jaguar XJ
Kia Picanto
Mazda Tribute
MG Midget
Nissan Micra
Nissan Skyline
Pontiac GTO
Porsche Carrera GT
Ram 2500
Seat Alhambra
Suzuki Ignis
Suzuki Ignis Sport
Volkswagen Beetle
Original notes
Jonny and Richard are on a merrineum walk to and from the pub discussing Snoop’s inability to buy tonic water, scuffed Jazzes, an update on Richard’s motorcycle nemesis, getting woken by a Carrera GT, a gouty Panda, long life advice from Jag-man Dick van Dyke, the colour and trim of owls, Pat Benatar’s classic Buick restoration nightmare, the DeLorean siren song, car new year resolutions, and does anyone actually organise the London to Brighton run?
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Smith and Sniff
Jonny Smith and Richard Porter
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57:09