We Think Dale Stole Someone’s Birthday Cake...
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Term
birthday cake martini
It’s a fancy cocktail that’s made to taste like birthday cake. They mix vodka with sweet ingredients and then decorate the drink like frosting and sprinkles.
Term
high rock vodka
High Rock vodka is the main alcohol they start with in the drink. Different vodkas can taste a little different, which affects the final flavor.
Term
white chocolate liqueur
White chocolate liqueur is a sweet flavored alcohol that adds dessert-like notes. In cocktails, it’s often used to create a creamy, candy-like taste without needing actual chocolate.
Term
amaretto
Amaretto is a sweet liqueur that tastes like almonds. It’s used to give the drink a warm, nutty flavor.
Term
heavy whipping cream
This is thick cream used to make the drink taste smoother and more creamy. It helps balance the sweetness and alcohol.
Term
edible glitter
Edible glitter is a safe decoration you can put on food and drinks. In this case, it’s used to make the cocktail look like it has cake sparkle.
Term
Red Bull
Red Bull is a sugary energy drink. People sometimes drink it with other drinks, like alcohol, to change the taste or feel more awake.
Term
car ding
A “car ding” just means the car got a small dent. It’s usually from a minor bump—like in a parking lot—so the car still runs fine, but it looks worse.
Term
seatbelt was buckled
Cars have sensors that know whether your seatbelt is clicked in. If it isn’t, the car will beep to remind you.
Term
key fob
A key fob is the little remote you carry to control your car. It can unlock the doors and, in many cars, let you start the car without using a traditional key.
Term
physical key
A physical key is the old-school metal key you put in the ignition. You turn it to start the car.
Concept
driverless vehicles
Driverless vehicles are cars that can drive themselves. You don’t steer or brake like you normally would, so the experience can feel unfamiliar or scary.
Company
Waymo
Waymo makes self-driving cars. Instead of a person driving, the car uses sensors and computers to drive itself.
Term
key chain
A key chain is just a way to keep multiple keys together. The conversation uses it to explain how people used to carry separate keys for everything, including cars.
Term
car cake
This part isn’t about cars at all—it’s just people talking about a birthday cake mix-up from a bakery.
Concept
prepaid
“Prepaid” just means someone already paid for it ahead of time. So when you pick it up, you usually shouldn’t have to pay again.
Concept
return policy
A “return policy” is the store’s rule for whether you can get your money back or exchange something. With food, stores often won’t allow returns once it’s been picked up.
Term
man cave
A “man cave” is just a special hangout space for hobbies. For car guys, it’s often a garage area where they keep their stuff and tinker.
Term
garage
The garage is a common hub for car enthusiasts: it’s where people store tools, work on vehicles, and display parts or collectibles. The transcript frames the garage as a place where men show off what they have.
Company
Lowe's
Lowe's is a store that sells home and yard stuff—like plants, tools, and supplies. They mention it because they’re buying flowers and trying to get a tool delivered there.
Term
tailgate
A tailgate is the back door on a pickup truck. You can open it to load things, and you can lock it so nothing falls out while you drive.
Term
side-by-side
A side-by-side is an off-road vehicle with seats next to each other. People use them on trails and rough ground, like in woods or on a farm.
Term
signature
Some deliveries require someone to sign for the package. If nobody is available when the driver arrives, they may come back later.
Concept
cup cars and trailers
In NASCAR, the top race cars travel with the teams, usually on trailers. The “cup” part means the highest level of NASCAR racing.
Concept
Darlington
Darlington is a well-known NASCAR race track. Drivers and fans talk about it because it’s a special, tough place to race.
Concept
Daytona 500
The Daytona 500 is a huge NASCAR race. People plan their year around it because it’s one of the biggest events in stock car racing.
Concept
NASCAR
NASCAR is a popular type of racing in the U.S. where cars race on oval tracks. The speaker is talking about how exciting the racing scene was in the early 1980s.
Concept
lapping the field
In racing, “lapping the field” means you’re so fast that you catch up and pass everyone, then keep going until you’ve gone one full lap ahead of them.
Concept
drive-in
A drive-in is a place where you park your car and watch something like a movie from your car. It’s usually a fun, old-school hangout.
Concept
themed bar
A themed bar is a bar decorated and designed around a certain theme, like a movie or game. People often go there as a fun trip.
LIVE
The following is a production of Dirty Moe Media.
Oh, yeah, this is where it's going to be, girl.
We're going to hang out, open a bunch of jars,
you've got big, strong hands.
Are you suffering from high-crackers?
I'm working.
Working that mouth.
Hi, guys. Dale, Junior, and I are in the Dirty Moe Media
studio for another round of Bless Your Heart.
We're excited to be here.
I had a birthday yesterday, and I can happily say
that I didn't just get one carrot cake.
I got two.
Yeah, that's true.
It was a good day, so let's get started.
You also have a gift.
I do?
Turn around.
Flowers from High Rock.
Oh my gosh, how cute is that?
There's little tiny High Rock bottles in the flower arrangement.
Yeah, pretty neat.
That's adorable.
There you go.
Well, we had a lot of fun yesterday, went to dinner.
Yeah, it was a pretty chill day.
Yep, there's a there's a steakhouse in Moorsville
that's called Epic Chop House and awesome place.
We go there quite a lot for special events for our family
and so forth.
There's a lot of great restaurants in downtown Moorsville.
Downtown Moorsville has changed quite a bit in the last
kind of resurgence, which is shout out to all those new
businesses down there.
But Epic is kind of one of our favorites, one of the first ones
to revitalization of the downtown area.
Epic was kind of the first stone, but pretty awesome place.
And yeah, so we got a lot to talk about.
Let's get to the drink of the week.
OK, well, the drink of the week is also birthday themed.
It's called the birthday cake martini.
I have on good accord that this is one of those slap your mom
of drinks. It's really good.
It might even get you in your birthday suit.
Oh, so we have two ounces of high rock vodka, one ounce of white
chocolate liqueur, one ounce of amaretto, a half an ounce of
heavy whipping cream.
And then you brush aside the glass with some vanilla
frosting and gently roll it into either some sprinkles or
edible glitter.
And then you put it in the freezer to set and then you
shake your drink up and then strain it into your glass.
And it is like birthday cake in a glass.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Um, let me let me try.
Pretty good. Doesn't sound like I like it.
Hmm. It's delicious.
Oh, that's real good. I told you.
Yeah, I said one's not enough and three's too many.
So it's delicious.
Let's find my red bulls like the red.
Oh, you're going to take my drink.
You took my red bull, y'all.
Just taking everything stealing.
It's just like our first date.
Red bulls, good little chaser that tastes good.
I'll have some of that for that.
So we, um, did you tell him to visit?
Hi rock vodka dot com.
So if you want to find high rock in your area, visit
highrock vodka dot com.
There is a store locator on the website so you can see where
you can find it near you.
And also you've got to remember to be 21 years or over.
You must drink responsibly.
What?
I, all the notes are on here.
What do you mean, all the notes are on your phone?
No, I think he must have done it like while we were at
dinner.
Oh, I put this on here the other day.
Dale has a car ding he wants to talk about.
I mean, Dale dinged up the car.
So, um, so, it sounds like something I would do.
No, no, no.
We were riding down the road.
He just, I just see you edited the bless your heart on my
phone.
I'm getting a little too many touching my phone.
It says Travis and Amy edited bless your heart.
He's full of it.
I'm, it's right here.
I will say I get notifications and it's, you look at it and
it says one of you guys are editing and there's nothing's
happening.
Well, there's something that I put in there.
Um, right above family feud did the car ding.
So did the car ding.
Yeah.
So, um, in my notes, it said Dale ding's car.
We're riding down the road, uh, me and Eila are riding down the
road and, um, I believe it was Eila.
Gosh, it could have been Nicole, but we're riding down the
road and they're in the back seat.
Yeah.
And, um, it was Eila, I'm pretty sure.
So we've been driving for a while and I went over some, I
think I went over some bumps or something and I just asked
Eila, I was like, Hey, you know, you buckled in back here.
Cause you know, you go over some bumps.
It's like, that's what you say.
And you were, you were worried so much buckled, but it, you
know, when it, when the truck bounced going through a pothole
and I said that in calming, buckled up back there.
I knew she was understanding.
You knew that she was very troll.
Bouncing fine.
Yeah.
Cause she's just not paying attention.
Then she might go, why are we now bouncing through town, right?
And so, um, I just said it so that she didn't get nervous or anything.
Is that like the arm over this?
Yeah, kind of.
That's what happened.
Basically I was saying, it's all good.
Just pothole, don't get worried, don't get worried.
And then I started into this conversation and I was like, man,
you wouldn't believe it.
When I was a kid, I love, we used to ride around in the back seat
and the front seat, not buckled.
Like I would lay, I'd be laying all over that back seat, sleeping
or taking a nap or whatever, right?
Crawling and floorboard.
I was like, can you believe that?
That we just drove around town, not buckled up.
Um, and I was, I'm having this like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I think her mind
back there is exploding.
Like what?
Yeah.
How is that possible?
Why did you get to do that?
What did she say?
I said, when I was a tiny kid in mom's car, I used to not ride around
on the seatbelt on, she said, did the car ding?
Really?
Yeah.
And I'm like, no, they didn't ding back then.
I just saw that was freaking hilarious.
Yeah.
Well, in her mind, the 1978 Carlo that my mom drove had an alert when
the seatbelt was buckled and it be, it dinged a tone.
Didn't start to happen until the 2000s.
Late 2000s.
She said, she didn't go, wow, y'all rode around without a seatbelt.
It's how cool or man get away with that.
The car didn't ding.
The car must have dinged.
Did the car ding?
What are y'all, did y'all ride around with the damn car ding in the whole time?
Yeah.
She's like, damn, that's what her mind went to.
I thought that was funny as hell.
We had a similar conversation driving around the other day over keys.
We just drove for hours with the car ding and just bought it.
Yeah.
I had forgotten the key fob inside, so I had to go back in and get my key.
And she goes, that's not actually a key.
I was like, you're right, it's called a fob.
I don't know why it's called fob, but it's a key fob.
And it's like, got buttons, you know, turns, makes the car, you know, turn on.
And she's like, well, why is it a key fob?
I was like, well, because the cars used to start with keys, you know, like dad's
old trucks, my uncle, you know, like you have an actual key, a physical key to
turn it on and you had to crank it.
And she was like, that's weird.
Maybe it wasn't a call that I was talking to you because everything
that she responds to, that's weird.
Um, I'm like, dang, that is kind of weird that they don't even know that.
Like a car cranking a car up is like hitting a button to them.
I saw this video on Instagram the other day and it was all of these kids and
they were in, um, they had, somebody had taken like all these kids and put
them in like living rooms and, and different sets from the 80s or 70s.
And they're all dressed in vintage clothing and they're in these rooms
that look like where me and you might have grown up, right?
Any kid next door and they're, they're playing with something and, and
they're looking at the camera and they go.
So in 20 years or so in 30 years or so in the future, people are going to take
pictures of their meals and text it to strangers and strangers, strangers
are going to like and comment.
And it's like saying, I always say, that's amazing.
It is hilarious.
I wonder what that's going to look like in the next 20 years.
But yeah, it's so weird.
This you do now compared to like how rudimentary and simple life was life is
very weird now.
When you think about it, in the future, so you're going to take a box and hit
a square and some strangers going to bring your food.
Yeah.
Some random person is just going to deliver it straight to your house.
You're going to tell people where you live.
Yeah.
Oh, it was like, it was like, in the future, people are going to post photos
of themselves doing normal things and their kids.
I was like, oh, yep.
Yeah, that's what we're doing.
Damn it.
Have you guys ever ridden in one of those Waymo's, the driverless vehicles?
No, I'm scared as hell.
I've heard about this in Vegas, too.
And a lot of people are apprehensive to get in one.
I was in Vegas the other day and saw a couple pulling up in the valet.
I don't think I'd be able to do it.
And I've heard that people have gotten locked into those.
Like they've not been able to get out.
And that would be my worst nightmare.
Oh, I would have a heart attack in there.
Like that would be my coffin.
You just find me in the car rolling around Vegas.
So can't get out.
That'd be scary.
So we ridden one of those.
I have not. I would, though.
You would. Yeah.
By yourself.
I'd want to do with a friend, probably.
So it needed like a friend experience.
I feel like we need to get Stephen Steffen in here.
Can you see if Stephen is available and can he come to a hot mic in there in the booth?
We have a mystery to solve.
We have mystery to solve.
So we got around to the conversation about the keys, by the way,
because of a key chain.
Isla had a key chain she wanted to use or she saw a key chain.
She had a key chain.
She goes like, why did they call it a key chain?
I don't understand.
And I was like, well, you know, people used to have keys for everything.
You had a key for your house.
You had a key for your car.
You had a key for your locker.
You had a key for this or that.
Sony still has it.
Yeah. I'm like, you sometimes, you know, all the keys.
You have to have all of them at once.
So you'd loop them together on those little rings and then you'd have a key chain.
And so that's how we got to the car thing.
Fob comes from, it's a German word.
It's a German word.
Yeah. It's FAB, not FOB.
So the word small pocket is FOB, K E.
And so that's how the Fob comes from.
And Steven's on his way down here.
Yeah, Steven Steffen.
So Steven Steffen is a, you know, the dream, the dream team.
A lot of folks know Steven, but Steven, Steven is kind of a jack-of-all-trades.
Does a lot of different things within the organization
at Junior Merch Sports and for me and Amy.
How's it going, Steffen?
Good, how are you guys?
Yeah, pretty good.
So let me tell us, set this up here.
Amy loves carrot cake.
We're going to, you know, get her a carrot cake for for her birthday.
We, me for the first time ever.
Yeah. And, you know, last year at this time, I forgot the carrot cake.
And I got her what I wanted, which was Red Velvet.
Steve Park coming here and delivered us a carrot cake from a local bakery.
And Amy loved that carrot cake and said, when you get me one,
get me one from this place.
Yes. Well, who didn't like a local bakery anyway?
It's special.
So I was, I'm going to go pick up a cake.
And so I give, I went online, found the.
He found the Bundt cake.
I found the Bundt cake place.
Oh, I see what happened.
So I Googled carrot cake near me and it found.
It's so, so ill-equipped to find a damn carrot cake in town.
He has a Google carrot cake near me by chance.
It brings up, I know what happened, Stephen, by chance, it brings up
good eats and sweets by Dan.
And that is the place that Steve Park brought the other and that is pure
coincidence that that is what it gave me.
God gave you that.
It's like, here's the place you need to go.
I screenshot it on my phone, has the phone number on it, and I text it to Steven.
I said, Steven, call this number, order the cake.
I'm going to pick it up. Don't go get it. I'm going to get it.
And so I didn't think it was a big deal if he ordered it.
But I knew that for your cake, you wanted me to go for actively go retrieve it.
So were you about to say, Fitch? No.
And so I'm going to go get this cake.
In my head, I have ordered the cake from a Bundt cake place.
And I'm over by everybody knows everything but Bundt cakes.
Yeah, Bundt cake joints everywhere now.
Cakes or something. Yeah, everything.
In my head, that's where we've ordered the cake from.
And so when he says the cake is ready, I drive over to the Bundt cake store.
And I that we'd have.
This is where there's a question in place still.
Dale says he picks up the Bundt cake.
He goes in. Let me get there.
The honey even got to that part.
I walk in thinking that this is where the cake's at.
Yeah, I walk up and I'm standing there thinking that there is an Amy cake in the back.
The lady walks out and goes, Hey, what do you need?
You know, what can I do for you?
What are you here for?
You know, and I'm like, Well, there's a birthday cake for Amy in the back.
I'm here to get it. She goes, Oh, OK. All right.
She walks back there.
You know, rummages around and produces a cake.
And I'm in there waiting on her and I find a card and all this stuff on the rack.
And I'm like, All right, perfect.
I'm going to get a card. I'll draw in it.
And the kids can draw in it.
I'll draw in it.
I'm going to draw in it and the kids can draw in it and we'll give her the card.
And Lady produces a cake.
I buy the card, the cake and walk out.
I've got the cake.
Well, I put it in the refrigerator at home.
It's still there.
We didn't even look at it.
A day later, this is on Monday, Tuesday,
Stefan calls and says, Hey, man, there's they still got the cake.
I was like, they ain't got the cake.
I picked it up.
And he's like, No, man, they got the cake.
They say you ain't came and got it.
And he's like, I'm going to go take it.
I'm going to go take care of it.
I'm going to go by there and see what's going on.
And in my mind, I think he's going to the butt cake place.
And he goes there, picks up a cake.
He takes a picture of it and I'm like, that's way different looking.
And I said, well, he goes, that's not round.
He asked me, he's like, what's the cakes with the hole in the middle?
What's that called?
I'm like, a bunt cake.
So like, you got a bunt cake?
That's not the cake that we talked about.
So I said, Steven, bring that cake to the house.
He brings it over and now I got two cakes.
But we still don't know what type of cake is in the bunt cake box
or what other Amy is missing their cake.
Yes.
So now we know.
I figured it out.
You ordered from the right place because that's the right.
That's the, that's the number I gave you.
I thought you ordered from bunt cake.
I went to bunt cake, walked in there and pulled a cake out of that place
that belonged to somebody else.
And you brought the right cake.
So we were able to eat the cake.
Amy wanted that somebody from bunt cake is cakeless.
Or they just made you want somebody else named Amy
who also had a birthday this week.
We're very sorry.
We didn't mean to do that.
But, you know, they've got lots of cakes in there.
Surely they could reproduce another one.
Oh my gosh.
But we still don't even know what flavor the cake is that we have.
And they do make carrot cake.
You must have gone in there and just made a scene.
I didn't.
Scared that lady and she just gave you the cake.
I didn't make a scene.
Del Juna came in here raving about some cake.
And so I just threw him one.
He said, there's cake back there for me.
Like he held a gun to her like, give me the cakes lady.
No.
That's not at all.
I walked in and I said, you know, I'm in my mind.
She knows there's, you know, in my mind,
I'm at the right place with the cake and Amy's cakes back there.
And I go, yeah, you got a cake for Amy in the back.
I'm here to get it.
And she goes, oh, okay.
I'm going to go back there.
She goes back there, comes back out with a cake.
And she goes, here you go.
Happy birthday, baby.
You know, it's got all the things on it.
Happy birthday.
All the stuff on it.
Yo, you totally did steal somebody's cake.
Oh my God.
I feel like we need to go back and like apologize.
You said you just paid for the card.
I thought I need to look at the receipt.
But when that's another thing.
So when I asked her, I put the card on the table and I said,
she, she sets the cake down and goes, you're all set.
And I go, I know.
And I go, now we've stolen a cake.
I go, Hey, I want to buy this card.
And she rings the card up like five bucks.
So I didn't pay for a cake.
Oh my gosh.
But I'm well, I mean, look, man, I'm not,
I'm walking out thinking, damn, maybe he,
he put a card on it or something.
Yeah.
If I, if that was the place, I would have.
You straight hijacked a cake.
I know.
I, I mean, whoever paid, whoever's cake it was,
the prepaid, I suppose.
Yeah.
We need to go back and pay for the cake.
Yeah.
We'll take it back.
Another.
No, we're not taking the cake back.
We should take it back.
You can't return the cake.
We're going to eat the cake.
It's for us now.
It's our cake now.
Okay.
This is kind of like the, the razor.
Like we haven't even eaten half of the second cake.
I know it's really big.
Yeah.
I thought you were going to bring it.
Well, I've, I was dealing with the coal before I left.
And I didn't, I couldn't, but I can still do that.
I got to run back by the house later and bring it back.
And share the cake, but I might just bring both.
And we can mystery.
We can cut in and see what we actually came up with.
We're very sorry about the Bundt cake.
Yeah, we are.
We'll figure it out.
We're going to, we're going to come back and pay for that.
We'll drop by the Bundt cake store and explain ourselves.
Oh my God.
That would be amazing.
Do they do that there?
It is a, it is a carrot cake.
You can see there's no way it's a pink or blue in the middle.
It's carrot colored.
It's, they don't make carrot colored cakes.
You know, it's a carrot cake colored cake.
So I went to breakfast yesterday morning and my girlfriend Jamie Goddard
also brought me a mini like a single version of a, of a Bundt cake.
That's carrot cake.
And they're, they're, they could be confused with a lot of other cakes.
It's just like a brown cake.
You know what I mean?
So we went to the Epic for dinner.
Thank you, Steven.
Yep.
I'm glad the mystery's been solved.
We went to Epic for dinner and for the first time in history,
I've known Amy for 18 years we discerned and been married since 2016, 17, right on the.
This will be our 10th year anniversary.
Yeah, right on the hash mark there, right on the border.
It's hard, it's hard to remember your, your, when it's.
We got married on the border of 16 and 17.
And so this is the first time in history that Amy finished her meal before me.
Yeah.
Holy s***.
He and the children, he usually eats his food light and fast.
Like someone's about to steal it.
Like, and there's no conversation.
He's whining and dining, just eating with proper utensils, like with both hands, you know,
like the Europeans do.
I can't eat like that.
And he's like taking his time.
And before you know it, like the lady's coming by to ask us if we're done with our
plates and Dale's still eating and he got a salad.
It's not like he had a giant platter full of food to rummage through.
I had a shrimp cocktail, awesome shrimp cocktail from Epic.
And they had this salad.
We get a little grilled chicken on.
It's got fried goat cheese balls on it.
It's delicious.
But yeah, so he, he took his time yesterday.
We know now that he can do that.
The reason why.
But it was a marked event.
There was a noted moment because he has never, ever, ever let that happen.
The service Epic is amazing.
And everything about it is great.
I want to say that because I'm going to say some comments.
But I don't want it to go the wrong, if you're taking in the wrong way.
Amy asked me a question.
So I went on a trip to Key West with my buddies, took all of the old guard, Sonny, Brad Burroughs.
They call themselves the four horsemen.
Four horsemen and Brad.
It's me, Sean, David, Sonny, Brad and Tim Duggar tagged along.
We all went down there for two days and we're about 25% into our dinner experience.
And Amy goes, so what happened in Key West?
Yeah, we've been around, we've been around each other, around each other all week
since he got home.
And I haven't asked him about his trip yet.
Well, I started telling her and I'm trying to tell her the story.
The kids are, you know, every two minutes you got to tell the kid to not, you know,
can't lay down in your chair.
You pick up your napkin and the kids are asking us questions.
So I can't get, I'm telling her this story.
I can't get it out.
The lady, our server comes by, you need another drink, you need this, you need that,
y'all good, everything tasting good.
And so like, I can't get the story told.
And so I'm, I can't eat.
I'm not, that's why it took me so long to, to eat because I'm trying to-
I've sincerely been to dinner with you so many times.
I've just, there's no way that you've not had conversation and still not eaten as fast as you have.
Here is the story.
Yeah. So the story he was about to tell me also, I had to stop him because the kids probably
didn't need to hear it, but it was so remarkable that I felt like we needed to talk with you
about it because I feel like you would appreciate the story.
All right. You've been to Key West.
We actually went at the same time last year and had a great time down there.
But we went down there, I went down there with my old buddies and, you know,
we just can't do it like we used to and a couple of them were in bed early and I didn't,
you know, I wasn't up as late as I usually were, stay down there and,
but we had a good time and, and we went to some great places that we always love to go to.
Including the candy shop.
Yep. And I went to the candy shop.
Did you get ice cream and like 20 spoons?
We got ice cream one night.
So all of these, all the things, right?
We had a lot of fun.
Key West is a great town.
We go into this bar called tattoos and scars.
It's just little rectangular shaped bar.
Um, it's right next to shots and giggles, which is another place we love to go to.
The, uh, we're in, this is the second day and we're wounded a little bit, a couple of us.
We're trying to get it going.
So this is like lunchtime?
Yeah.
It's definitely or is this like the bar first bar?
I don't think it's not the first bar.
We went to schooners every day.
We went to schooners obviously both days right out of the gate because we're staying
at the marker, which is right next door to schooners.
So we go to schooners and I got to think, I got some, uh, tuna tacos, which is amazing at schooners.
But, uh, so we're having, we're, we're, we're getting going.
Um, and we're at, uh, tattoos and scars.
Our buddy Brad is a shot guy.
He likes to take shots.
Oh, oh.
All right.
So it's not really a beer drink.
Not a beer drinker really.
Yeah.
So there's a shot.
They get to talk into the bartender and there's a shot there that, um, they'll smack you.
Like the bar, I've seen those take the shot and they slap you.
And so he says there's steps.
It's like there's something on your hand.
There's a drink and then there's a follow-up drink, but you get slapped in the middle.
So yeah, a couple of different things happen.
So don't bring it up.
It's own, it is on their Instagram.
The actual hit.
Yes.
So Brad wants to do this.
What bar?
Tattoos and scars.
Tattoos and scars.
Key West.
So Brad wants to do this.
Is it called the hurricane shot?
I don't know.
Maybe it is.
But, um, there's Brad taking his drink.
Bartender gets up on the bar to do it.
She throws a glass of water on him and then wallops.
Holy smokes.
He goes, ah.
He pees for that.
He needs a hug.
She hugged him afterwards.
I can't believe that that's a thing.
So this is a shot you can take in tattoos and scars.
And I'm standing there drinking and we're talking to David or somebody.
And I'm not really listening to Brad, but the next thing I know,
everybody's starting to get out of the way and I'm like, what's about to happen?
And so I'm, I'm, I'm off to the right.
I'm off over the shoulders.
Whoever's filming this and, uh, we all start to realize what, you know,
we're getting told, oh, he's going to do the shot.
And so we're all telling the girl now knock him good.
Now you better smack him good.
Oh my God, guys suck.
And she slaps the out of him and his lip blistered up, like swelled up.
Like his tooth went through his mouth or something like bruises.
She smacked him so hard it just kind of bruised his damn lip, his bottom lip.
And so, um, I can't believe that that's a thing.
We asked her like, we were all like, shoot, man, you know,
maybe we shouldn't have told her to hit him hard as she could.
And she goes, everybody says that everybody tell, don't feel bad.
Everybody tells it.
You know, when we do a shot, all the buddy, all the buddies, all the buddies all say that.
And so then we started taking like chat, uh, Chad, we started taking Chad and asking Chad
to make photos of Brad with his lip morse the next day.
You know what it's going to look like tomorrow.
And we did a lot of, we did a lot of Chad pics with the guys.
We had a, there's one picture of us all, not, I took the picture and put them all in race uniforms.
So they're like, there's like one in a chase Elliott uniform.
The only picture I saw, the one that he sent me was the first day and he, no, you made Brad,
who's got that long curly hair.
You could see you made him look like dog, the bounty hunter.
Yes.
Yeah.
We started joking with him as soon as we got there about how he looked like dog,
the bounty hunter.
He didn't live in North Carolina anymore.
He lives in Illinois.
So like they don't get to the brasm as much as they used to.
And he's a lot of fun to hang out with.
Did Brad try to talk you into taking shots or does he know?
Oh no, he knows.
No, he knows better.
He don't mess.
He don't care.
He's like, I'm going to do my own thing.
He, like the first day we get there and we've been there a couple hours and he's,
he took Jaeger shots and he's like, he's like, man, I got to get, I got to get going.
I'm ready.
And we're like, it's all day, man.
We're doing this all day.
You don't have to run, just walk.
He's usually embedded eight o'clock.
He's first one down for obvious reasons, but yeah, I carried that and I carried him home
from the bar the first night.
Yep.
It was, is Tim the one that's leading the, is Tim the best drinker of this group?
Tim is now the youngest and best drinker of the group.
Yep.
Yep.
None of us are in the routine anymore.
They don't have your fastball.
He blames his drinking ability on us.
He says that he learned how to binge drink being on trips with us when he first started
coming down to Key West, that he didn't used to drink like that.
And he did go out for one night and then be hungover and then not, not drink anymore.
And then he hung out with us and we're like, you just got to have another one to have another
hair of the dog.
You know, that's why it's a saying.
Yeah.
Because they, I mean, he is a lot younger than us, but he blames us for his now ability,
which he's proud of.
Like he does now until he came to hang with us, but I mean, you know, those are fun days,
but yeah, Key West is awesome.
And that was probably the highlight of the trip, honestly.
That's crazy.
Guys are dumb.
Yeah.
I would never sign up to do anything like that.
I would never.
What else do we have?
Should we play a game?
Swatches.
Swatches, yes.
Okay.
So for my birthday, Dale got me, I don't know if you've heard about this, but
have you seen the videos of people like having the color swatches laid across their chest?
No.
So that's the thing that you can do and have like your color palette for your skin tone
given to you.
So like everybody has certain colors that look better on them.
And so it's like a thing that girls are doing now.
My girlfriend Jill did it recently and they'll even tell you like, based on your skin tone,
what color your hair should be.
So Dale's going to go down and do it with me and Charlotte.
We're going to have our color swatches done.
Oh, he's doing it with you.
He's going to do it with me.
I tried to tell him like, well, since you're going to go with me,
what if they tell you the orange is like not your color?
What are you going to do?
Oh, no.
He's like, I'm just going to grin and walk away.
Yeah, he's good.
Whatever.
I mean, I probably, I don't think orange is really anybody's color, but I like orange
because nobody else liked it.
But is that really why?
Yeah.
I liked orange because nobody else.
Everybody loves blue, red, pink, purple and, and you know, everybody loves all the,
there's these set of colors that's very popular and then there's this.
So orange felt like the outcast.
So you adopted it?
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
You went hard.
Orange is the underdog of colors.
Okay.
So, it'll be fun.
Ayla wants me to take her with her, but this is what I'm wondering.
Jamie is a great friend of Amy's.
And I think Jamie has Jamie been on here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So James, James, Amy or Jamie asked,
Jamie sent me this idea.
She goes, Hey, here's a cool idea if you haven't got anything for her birthday.
And I always ping her friends for, for Christmas and birthday ideas.
And they're always all talking about different things that they like.
And it's always been very helpful.
And I was like, hmm, man, that's not a physical gift.
You know, I'm a little nervous that it's going to be suffice, right?
It's going to house this.
How's this going to go?
And I also thought, all right, Jamie's, you know,
Jamie's saying that I should get her this.
And, and, and, and Jamie's like, you know, you get her and, and a guest, right?
So she can take a friend and I'm thinking, well, Jamie wants to be a friend.
So that's got to line up, right?
Or somebody's, you know, maybe going to get their feelings hurt.
And so I hand it to Amy and Mike.
Hey, here's the deal.
They're apparently, this is a cool thing.
You're going to go and it's taken care of and you get to take a friend.
And I'm just going to say Jamie's the one that suggested it.
And she goes, well, I'm taking, I'm taking you.
And I'm like, oh, me.
And I was like, I'll go.
I was like, I probably the only other person you could take without pissing Jamie off.
Because if you were to take another friend after Jamie's the one that suggested the gift.
Yeah. Yeah. Jamie's not going to be mad.
It's a good excuse.
Jamie would definitely be mad.
Not with me, but if you took a different girlfriend.
Yeah. So here's the thing.
After Jamie's the one that suggested the gift.
The color is from one of our other girlfriends who just had it done.
Jamie and I at the same time heard about it.
So I don't, I mean, I'm just saying that conversation.
They suggested that you should get this done too, since you're on TV.
Like you should know your colors and know what looks best on you, blah, blah, blah.
So like all that part was part of the conversation.
I know, but I'm just telling you.
She called me said, you should get this for Amy and you, she could take a guest.
She never said you should just send Amy.
She said, send Amy and you can get her a guest.
And I'm thinking, well.
You're reading part too far.
I know how y'all are.
And I know how Jamie is.
And I know for a fact that Jamie would go, hmm, if you took a different person.
I hear you.
Well, I wasn't planning on taking a different person.
I think you can take me without getting a reaction.
I think it would be a very fun experience to do with you.
What color do you think you're going to get?
So I don't know.
Jill, when she went, they told her that she was in an autumn.
So like she has a little tiny fan deck now over colors that she can keep in her purse.
So when she goes shopping, she can like kind of pick and choose based on what might look
best on her.
Of course, like you're still going to want to wear black and different things because
she was so black wasn't one of her colors.
I'm like blacks.
Everybody's like verbatim blacks.
Everybody's color.
So like I'm not taking my black out of my closet.
I don't know, man.
I'd take this.
I'd take what that lady said to heart.
What if they say sweatshirts aren't your thing, Dale?
No more hoodies.
You really do wear too many logos.
When Dale and I get ready and we're going anywhere, but somewhere like if he's not
going to the racetrack, we're going somewhere personal, especially like a family gathering
or whatever.
I'm like, we're not selling anything today.
Please put on a plaid or a regular plain t-shirt.
Like he gets sent back to the closet quite a bit, but he does have a lot of nice clothes,
but that's going to force us both to like clean out the closet.
And I am a hot mess in the closet.
I know it.
And I think maybe secretly Dale's like, I'm going to get her this and this is going to
force her to have to throw away half of these things or at least clean it up,
which isn't a bad idea.
Yeah.
But I feel like that's a whole nother separate gift I need.
Like, can I just get an extra set of arms or something for physically taking the stuff out?
It's a lot.
Our closet has just recently crossed the line.
Well, I got rid of the hanging rack.
From ridiculous to crushing.
Yeah.
Like the walls are literally closing in on you.
You almost have to like spread the, spread the clothes to get through.
So a small example of this would be is like Amy never,
Amy doesn't get rid of anything.
That's not entirely true, but Amy doesn't get rid of anything.
So like she accumulates and accumulates.
She wears.
I don't get rid of my nice things.
No, she wears 20% of the things that are in there,
but she doesn't get rid of it.
Like it's just more and more stuff.
Me, same thing, like I every year I accumulate 100 new shirts, T shirts,
like all new logo shirts, all new sponsor shirts,
all new junior motors, sport stuff.
We got jerky boy stuff.
We got this stuff.
We got foot filter time.
We got every year there's like a new batch
and they're, and I don't really get old, get rid of the old batch.
And so like it's just more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more
and more pop, you know, just busting at the seams.
And dresses are fluffier than T shirts.
So, and I've never.
I haven't thrown away a pair of shoes in 20 years. That's a fact. His shoes have dust bunnies on them
Like I've got shoe racks in the closet and there are certain certain shoes that just like you could write your name in
Yeah, I've got multiple pairs of shoes that haven't left the shelf in over 10 years
Get rid of them. I know I want to do it. Here's the thing. I
Don't want I don't know I don't I don't have a confidence in myself to go
I'm gonna throw this pair out. No
Yeah, you'll get rid of the wrong thing I'll get rid of the wrong thing and I'm like Amy
He won't remember what we actually just bought and I know I'll throw away the new pair and keep the 10-year-old pair
Not he's done that with some of his clothes throw the way the ones that have dust all over them
They all do because I try I mean literally wears a sneaker literally wear like the same five pair shoes, but
But when he goes somewhere nice, he needs to have the nice shoes
We just need to get rid of the dated stuff
Yeah, but I need so I'll say I want to slide in the window in the closet
And I'm just gonna like like a louge. I wish I just lose my clothes out to a box in the lawn
So I'll carry the down if you just want to pile it up put it on top of the stairs
But I the thing is is like I'm like hey Amy
Come up step come upstairs and help me decide what to throw away and she's like yeah
It's like the last thing I want to do today is go stand there
He's like a child though. Yep. Nope. Yeah as soon as you sit down on the couch and get comfortable
He's like oh since you're free. I got something for you. I'm like I was gonna relax
Now that the kids are doing their own thing. He's like no, but now I need you like no not going up to the closet
So yeah, that's really the only time that I would say no to that, but you do need help
Yeah, dude. Well, we're thinking maybe the color swatch lady is gonna kick us into gear
And it'll make it easier to get rid of some decisions easier. Yeah, we donate everything
We just I got we put it all in big trash bags and everything that we get rid of as it goes to Christian mission
So we're gonna do a little
Family feud okay today. So the first question is and so you guys will discuss what you think the answers are
Top four things a 50 year old man does to feel young
Play video games, huh? Nope
The question was
Top four things a 50 year old man does to feel young. Oh top four things a 50 year old man does to feel young
Daddy younger woman. Yep
By a new car by a new car, that's just gonna say that yep
So video games was not in there
Workout nope train
Sitting a bar
No
Join a basketball league what?
No
So we got to get to
Top four things men do to feel young 50 year old man does to feel young
Dyes his hair. Yep. Oh
Good one. Yep
Dyes his hair Daisy younger chick gets a new car
Oh
You're gonna hear it and go yep, I mean divorces his wife
That's been up there, but I guess that goes with the date a younger girl. Yeah one usually comes before the other but not always
like off nope
You want to hear it? Yeah, get a tattoo. Oh
To an idiot good lord. You're what an idiot. Yeah
Especially when you're 50 already you're already getting some wrinkles putting tattoos on that's probably not the easiest thing to do
All right next one
Tattoos are supposed to be something like your younger self gets yeah, you're dumb. You're dumb young self this one was
People were asked to name something specific that has a long neck. There's five things that has a long neck. Yes beer
giraffe
Beer is number three. Oh a beer anything not an animal anything that's Dale. That's I mean he didn't hesitate
That was easy right off the bat and giraffe is number one
long neck
Now my brain spun out I was just that I was just doing animals
There's a dinosaur with a long neck. It's not on there
peacock
That's not there's two animals, but they're not the peacock. No, not a peacock, but ostrich. Yes, that's number two. Sorry
I got mixed up
And they're not even close to the same
A snake
Doesn't have a neck
Or shoulders all neck they call them no shoulders no shoulders
One animal and one object
The animal
No, he's got a little extra neck. We don't mean it
Swan that's the animal was a swan. Yes. Yeah, damn he didn't
I thought you said there were just two animals one animal one object
Okay, got it. We don't we don't know an object. Yeah an object. Oh wait. I thought we were four or five five. Oh
Another long neck
Just tell us guitar. Oh
I didn't know they called that a neck. Yeah, did you never got it? Nope
This is four things name the worst things to forget to pack when you go on vacation toothbrush underwear
One and two
Your actual suitcase
Like leaving your suitcase behind now. Well, that's I think close is it's closed. It closes number two
I think that includes your phone charger. Yep. Oh
Trimmer beard trimmer, that's in your toiletries will count told trees
What else do you pack passport? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah passport
All right, here's I think one anywhere my favorite one
Name something and this there's five name something a man has that he loves to show off to other men
Trading cards
His woman car is one his younger wife's his new girlfriend girls number two house
The house is not up there. Well, that's a chick thing land property. No, you're getting close with the guns
No shop building man cave man cave man cave shop. There's two more things
Man likes to show off one something you do and the other thing is you own
Like show off
Your golf swing yep, I was gonna say I didn't know if you got a good one
It's worth showing off. They love to a golfer's love to do. Yeah, watch me go one more. It's you can you own it?
You own it. So it's an object
It's not a car collection of some sort it could be could be
I
The guns no
Your helmet collection your liquor knife. Oh that that would be a good one. Yeah, your liquor collection your wine collection
That's not it's a power tools. What stop?
Who did you pull for this? Who shows off their power tools the internet man? I don't know I
Don't give a shit at my dream
Someone else's power tools. I don't
I'm not saying that I these are my answer
So if I see some if I see something in the garage or something I go where'd you get that and
Then I'm gonna put a note in my head or take a picture of it and I'll get my own but I don't I don't go
Let's go out look at your power tools and stuff
Show you so much got in the garage
Yeah, I mean is it a matter of guys hanging out in the garage and that's why it probably is that all but also sometimes the man cave
Yeah, that's probably how I mean garage beers are like one of the best places to check this out
The other day we were oh
We we we had taken taking the kids to eat somewhere and Amy's like can we go battle loads?
I'm like you damn right. We can go by the bear in the woods hell. Yes
I've been wanting to get a little electric freakin chainsaw. You bet your ass were going to lose
And so and I want to look at the plants like I do I wish you know girls are in the garden section and tails inside
Lowe's by the way
We I went through the garden section with both children with got a pallet full of flowers got them loaded in the truck
With the tailgate locked so we're going up and over and up and over with all of our flowers
Before this guy even gets his stuff bought and checked out yeah from the store inside
Gagging through there talking to all the ladies he came he comes out with free bags of birdseed and oh, yeah
begin with I go into the
Plant section and the ladies like anything I can help you is there anything you're looking for and I said my wife
And she goes oh
Well, they they got such such such here. Let me give you a couple bags of birdseed
No, and I'm filling up my bag. You know my free birdseed all kinds of stuff and I got my little left
So I bought a side-by-side when it snowed real heavy and me and the girls rode it back through the woods
And I ain't been back on my trails in a long time and there was limbs everywhere trees across the trails and stuff
And I was like I'm gonna give me a little electric battery-powered chainsaw. They make a battery-powered change. Yeah, and I'm like
I'm getting that and so I wanted to get it sent to the house from Lowe's, but they require signature
And I'm never we missed that. I know he tried twice and missed the guy at the gate twice
I ain't never available for signature. And so
Yeah, I win it when she said you wanna go Lowe's. I'm like
I equally went in there asking for my where my husband was and they're like I think he went back there to the new cigar bar
And I was like I just looked at him and goes just kid. We didn't
I
Wouldn't be shocked if that was an actual thing, but I was just shocked that I didn't know about it yet
There's a speakeasy in the back. Can you imagine if that Lowe's had beer. It'd be great
Why don't Lowe's why doesn't Lowe's they should have a champagne bar in there, too
Like there's always one part of the couple that doesn't want to be in the Lowe's right mimosas on Sundays
Like yeah only it and opposite side of the store. They need a what they need a champagne ring for the ladies
Right next to the flowers
Speak easy for the men. Yeah, you're welcome. Lowe's are you listening? I mean they got bars in grocery stores now
Yeah, you can go to Lowe's
It's not a crazy idea. Yeah, they have happy hour at the Lowe's foods. Yeah, and that's another thing
Like what is up with the like Lowe's foods and then the Lowe's hardware
It's not the same. Oh, I know it like how did that happen? How's that allowed probably because there's it's only trademark under like
Lowe's home improvement home improvement stuff and not grocery store
I think they need to get together and somebody to see these decide to change it to like flows or
Flo's
We have a water burger. That's that's the I know you're just not like can we just share the Brian's want to share
The Sean's want to share. No, he's got a point that Lowe's and Lowe's. I mean it's spelled exactly the same the Brian's
We're back to the name thing. I shouldn't have brought this up
Water burger Lowe's all of it like I was texting last night about a tube
I was texting with a friend about a Brian and I keep having to spell check
Change the because it my phone's trying to spell it one way, but it's supposed to be spelled the other way and I'm like
I'd like to throw Laney into the mix too. There's Laney. There's ie and there's e y and I have people have it spelled
Both ways and it's like yeah, the best part about the best part about the name debate was going into my comments and
Seeing all of the different Sean's yeah vying for their there, you know, but sh a un what's in on this? Yeah
Yeah, there was
A whole third Sean that we hadn't we hadn't even mentioned and they were like what about us
We need to be heard
And it's clearly the third the least popular spelling. Yeah, that's funny
Like don't leave us out. We're already dangling fire thread down here fight for our lives
Oh, man, it's funny. Sorry. We got off tangent. No, it's good. Uh, all right. We got one more. I think we fit in here
Uh, five words that were used to describe the last kiss your man gave you
The last kiss. Yes
Your man gave you this was uh, you know that you pull like a hundred people. Yeah a peck. Let's hear it. Nope
Sloppy. Hey, hey, this is the the universe man. No, it's not my questionnaire
No, I want the five that
You would describe the kiss I gave you
Sweet that's five. Oh, that's good. You're okay. Nice
Three more I like it
It's gotta be a
Simple short. Whoa. Whoa simple. We're going off. No, I'm going off the last kiss
That's a fail. Simple. Now paper's gonna be giving me
Kisses in the morning in front of the kids. He's not gonna make out me like there's tasteful tasteful. Is that allowed tasteful kiss?
I don't know. Dale's a simple dancer. He put me on the spot. Do you want the last two?
Okay, so wait, we started with sloppy sloppy quick and sweet. You've already got oh those were all part of the thing. Yes
um
Um
What's the word for like when they go all in
There's gotta be just one word. It's not french
Super french he was super french
What is it throughout it is warm and wet
Uh
Give me a big old sloppy wet kiss
That's what I mean when you describe a kiss it doesn't sound as good as when you're actually getting the kiss
Even if it is warm and wet
We've done it. I think we did it
Hello god Dale and I are sorry I was gonna say hi guys and I said hello
So I screwed it all up. We're in the dirty man media studios for another round of bless your heart and ask Amy
So what do you have for us? All right, so first question is
Do you have any advice for meeting a parent for the first time being a parent for the first no meeting a parent like
So you're dating someone and meeting their parents
Well, I said this to tims when he was meeting the parents for the first time you always take a gift
like try to find out what they're into or
Something from like where you came from something that like represents you and and take a gift
also
Try to listen more than you speak
Because I feel like when you go in a little too hard
Like you regret that, you know, sometimes you say things you just either you didn't mean like you're nervous or you over chat
So trying to like listen more than you speak and always taking your presence. That's a good tone
Dale, do you remember me and Amy's?
uh, yeah, I mean I
I'm more like
You know being neat and tidy in the bathroom if you use their bathroom make sure you wipe seat clean up after yourself
Oh my gosh
You don't want to leave you know, you don't you might don't leave a trail in the bathroom
You might have you might if it wasn't the parents don't even worry about it. This yeah, no kidding
Just go out the window if you do by the way
I will get something out of the refrigerator and and you know
You know drip something on the floor and not realize it or leave trash by the trash can that didn't make it all the way in
So he's saying don't be an animal. Yeah, be like be polite be a little more
Aware like in your own house
You know, I try to do the same thing but sometimes maybe I'm not as thorough
and so
I can't believe that's your first answer. Well, I would just be tidy in the bathroom. Don't pee on the toilet on the floor
Don't be on the floor. I'm like, you know, let the lid, you know clean everything up
Make sure they don't come in there behind you and go damn what an idiot. Yeah
That's that's the thing the same thing like just don't be an idiot take that
and and apply it to every
Everything everything also make sure that you are I mean you should do this anyway
Make sure you're showing your girl or your guy
Respect being polite to them is what parents are always looking at. That's how you treat them. That's probably all they're doing
Yeah, I think mr. And mrs. Two instead of their name addressing addressing appropriately. Yes having all the manners
I was thinking they I mean yet
You're not you don't have to be overly like yes or yes, ma'am and all that stuff because they're not that
They're not they're not tagging what you're how you're treating them or how polite you are to them some of that matters
But to Amy's point, they're they're really watching
how you are
to their their child yeah kid right and
and they're going to analyze
everything
How you spoke how you looked how you
Gestured all the things and in a right any
Any interaction you have have you ever had any awkward experiences where because they're trying to guess like how you treat them when
We're not around and they're trying well. They're reading if you're a genuine or not
So that's it, but have you ever had any awkward experiences meeting parents?
I've never really I've not met too many you've not met too many parents
Oh, I didn't get that long. I didn't get that far into the relationship until me
Hmm
My really I mean we used to joke that you know if it went three months that was a long one
Who was doing the joking you and your buddies Travis, how about you? Have you met parents yet?
You have a girlfriend. I know we were all single and we didn't like when one of us was in a relationship
Yeah, I remember that part of you. Nobody was allowed to have a girlfriend if you didn't have a girlfriend
no
and I didn't you know, I knew when I when I was
Dating somebody I'm like
Ah, they're they wish I was a available that my buddies wish I could have go do and so I need to
I need to move I need to get rid of this
Get rid of this this this thing, you know, it's not this person not the person
But like I need to change this part of my life. I need to get out of this situation and back
To hang out my buddies. Well
Okay
Yeah
I don't really have an answer to that
I I'm so lucky. I'll Amy broke me. I'll answer your question
I'm like, uh, you broke me. Yes. I have it was last night. You met him last night. He met her mom last night
How did that go? I think it went well. I brought her. I brought her a beer because she likes IPAs
Wait, say it again. So she likes IPAs. So I brought her a six pack of you did take her a gift. Yeah, that's so nice
And she liked those beers. So it was it worked nice. Yeah, look good for you. So
I have no doubt that you because you have manners anyway that you did a good job
But taking a gift is like you're not around him all the time. I'm around him enough. I'm pretty intuitive. I can tell
She's got a good read on me. Okay, whatever
Because I remember remember the dry January things
You look so pretty today. Ralph. Does that make you feel better? No, I'm just saying I'm around him. He's not always
He's got manners. You're always full of manners. Oh my gosh. He's jealous
He made him jealous. I'm zero
Jealous, I am zero jealous
You are you are a hundred jealous. No
Scratching his head now we're now the hats off
Do we have another question? How's the scar doing physical single
Single is the scar is the scar gone? Oh, yeah. Kev is gone
What's right in the line of his ball cap so you can't really see it, but it's healed. It's not gonna bleed anymore
That's good. Uh next question if you could go back to a specific age
What age would that be to relive? Oh my gosh
This is a good one. So cam our friend and uh, sychrolina sent me a video on instagram. Oh, she did
And it was a video of darlington
From this like probably 68 69 and it was a cup cars and trailers coming into darlington to park in the garage
And it had like, uh, you know some
A bad ass song from the 70s and I was like this wants me to this this makes me wish I had a time machine
Yeah, and so
But you weren't alive then you were zero then I know I was zero then but I think
My mind always thinks about racing not like oh, I'm you know my fourth birthday or or or this was a fun year in my life
Yeah, I would go. Hmm. How old was I in 1979 so I could go to the Daytona 500, you know
So I think 1979 would be the year I would love to go back to three or five
Yes, but you're doing all the things that you were when you're five
All right scratch that um
I would like to go back to like 11
Like I know that's like such an awkward time of life, but I feel like I could
I feel like if I just did a couple of things differently, I would have enjoyed it more
And the same thing with college like I feel like I enjoyed it too much and I probably should have concentrated a little harder
and like compartmentalize some things
But you know both times were super interesting and fun. I would take 21 21
Junior year of college. Yeah, you're just having fun. Yeah, it was very carefree
Um, all right Dale was also very carefree that time of his life. Sure
Um, I was late bloomer. I wasn't too crazy at 21
um
I
Think yeah, I mean probably mid 80s
Honestly would I would go back to 1981 82 something like that
Just moved in with dad Teresa
And I don't really remember
Going to many races, but 81 was a badass year in NASCAR. And so
I'd like to go go do that one again
You know what I've always thought would be neat and um, so
I think about I think about this kind of all the time probably once a week
It'd be cool to time travel
Back to my dad that back to like the start of my dad's career
With all of the knowledge that I have which isn't even all that much
I mean, there's there's guys that are in NASCAR with tons more knowledge than I have but uh,
I'd love to go back in time
And be the 12 or 13 year old kid but have all this knowledge. Oh, yeah
And be like, hey dad, this is what you need to do to your car this weekend
And he'll be like you're 12
What are you talking about kick rocks kid convince him to like do it and he'd be like, holy
He's a savant
How does he know this my kids are genius wouldn't that be insane? Yeah. Yeah, that would be like lapping the field
Yeah time traveling with knowledge like they did
Um, I think we brought this up before like in fact in the future when they have the almanac, of course
That would be so fun. Yeah. Yeah, but
he's so cool
Next question, so uh, the Hall of Fame has been discussed a lot this week
We're not gonna get into that part, but if you could go to any like specific
Thing like a clothing hall of fame or a movie hall like what is something you want to go and just like
See the best of everything
Like a candy hall of fame
Try all the candies or
A fashion hall of fame would be really cool. They do that they do exposition like expositions for different designers
Um, and even the Met Gala like that would be fun to walk through and see all the things when they have those displayed
They're just that the theme changes every year, but um
I don't know. We've been to like plenty of
Exposed with cars and I've even seen like old military planes and even though i'm not interested in it
It's fun to look at yeah all the paintings and everything from the war planes and
I don't think that's where I'd probably I would rather go to like a history museum or something where you could actually see
tangible
Things I'd like to see an old ship like a real ship. I know they don't exist anymore because they were made of
Well, I mean if you go to hawai if you go to pearl harbor
You can go on and yeah, that's true. I mean like a pirate ship like oh
We're like the Nina the pinta and the santa maria like where are those guys?
I thought one of them was still around
Could be wrong. I don't know
There's stuff like that though that you can go see. Yeah, you know, I haven't seen that
I hear is amazing is the ark in kentucky no his ark
It's a built one. Oh, they built a a new one. Oh
I'm like wait a second here. Yeah, that's why I was about to
They say that the ark is they found it, you know, you see those
You see that stuff on social media for the last several years where they like it might be this ridge line is shaped this way
It's in this mountainous region where it makes, you know, it kind of lines up with the biblical
information
And they're like, you know
sonar into the ground
What I think would be cool is if you're like
A 90s hall of fame and you go into a room and it's like they just play like those shows and have like the snacks
It used to have in the meals. Oh, that would be cool. Like a very like
You just sit there and like for an hour and just like yourself and like you're 12 years old again
Just like saturday mornings. Well, um, that would be cool. One of my favorites. We went to orlando
um theme park
Remember the drive-in
Yeah, so we were at universal studios and they they have a drive-in cinema that you said and you eat
Yeah, they have a retro drive-in
And I'm this is it's not super thorough, but it was really really cool. So you sit in this you sit in a car
I've been there. Yep. You sit in a car. That's a little booth. They serve you basically
Cheeseburger fries and you're watching
These old sci-fi movies on loop. Yep, and they're I mean
I could have sat in there for hours. It was so much fun. Did you go to the place where it was like an old school diner?
Yes, they
Refused to let me have dessert until I finished my meal like it was there. You have to finish like your vegetables
Yes, I'm like this is this is I'm on a vacation. I want dessert like what are we doing here?
Meanwhile, the brownie carts rolling around the restaurant. Yeah. Yeah, I hated it
It's it's a neat vibe. But yeah, their rules are serious in there. I forgot about that part
I do I I see stuff like that on my instagram all the time. There's like a red dead redemption themed bar
And you'll see stuff like that where there'll be like the end this town and it's always midwest somewhere somewhere far away and unreachable
By car and you're like
It's this such and such themed bar and you're like, yeah, that'd be I want to like I want to I want to go do these
See these places. Yeah, like
That's a real thing. Yes a red dead redemption bar. It's a video game western video game. Oh, I remember the game
Yeah, and so you used to play that in the theater. Yeah
Gigantic oh, I bet that was awesome. Yeah
Was it red dead one or two? I think two
Yeah, both I played both. Yeah, I recently got into I don't for the first time ever played it like two years ago
Really? Yeah, he used to sit down there. There's no windows in the theater
And he used to sit down there for hours a long time. He like didn't know what time it was. Yeah all night
Yeah, because you can play it. There's not like a you can just go off and do your own thing for two hours
You don't have to follow like the game, you know story arc
Yeah, so
Yeah, I don't know vintage candies would be fun. There's vintage candies. Yeah, like going through a hall of fame of things
Candy would be I wouldn't like I would not like going unless they were it was available to to buy
Yeah, like if you go up and they're like here's the hall of fame of candies and there's here's here's some badass old
You're like I kind of want to try it. Yeah, I kind of want to do you know
Give me some of that. Yeah, I think you have to do that. You can't be included like
If you have some candy, but you can't offer it then you can't be in there. Yeah, that's a big old tease
I went into uh, so we was in Key West and
Um, we started off at schooners on the second day and I had to go to use the bathroom
So I went running back in the hotel room did that and the guys went on down the next bar
So while they went on down the next bar
I kind of wandered around town a little bit by myself and I went up
I went up to our old house and took a selfie with it and sent it to Amy. Yeah
And uh, don't cry. Yeah, I went to our our house and then to the house we remodeled. I walked past it too, but uh
Walking down to vol they have a candy shop and I went in there
And I bought some caramels
I mean, he just had a what a tooth pop off
On the last vacation and now he's at the candy shop getting caramels. You think he's learned his lesson
No caramels and then the uh, some chewing gum and then the crybabies the little tears
Oh, I love sour. So the crybaby the little tear crybaby tears are are super sour
I've never had those. Yes right there. I didn't know that was a thing. You're right on them. You're all over it
Never had there they are
So I got some of the gum sour gum
you just had it and um
He got some sour gum got some of the tears and basically you put it in one giant bag
And I'm over there with the shovels just to film shoveling my stuff into my bag
And I walk over there and I put it on the counter and a guy the lady goes. Oh my
What the hell no judgment. It's a candy store
What the hell what do you mean? Oh my
What do people walk up here with an ounce? Maybe she's just trying to connect with you. I don't know
No, she like was like, oh, you know, that sounds like a judgment. Oh my it was
I was like, hey now we're in the freaking candy store and there's like
Literally freaking megatons of this in this room. What do you think people were?
I don't know. I was a little taken aback. Well, how much so how much was the weight of candy?
Yeah, how much did you pay for the candy? I don't know a pound of candy a pound of candy
That's not that much. It wasn't a lot. He didn't bring any of it home. Well, yeah, you're not bringing candy back
It's hiding it. It's upstairs in the library. Oh, we did where his baseball card collection is
I'll give you some
I like my teeth
I'm gonna keep my teeth
You can have teeth and still have candy. Yeah
Apparently not him
He's seven cameras are gonna pull him right off
No
All right, do you have any more questions? Nope, that's it. All right. Thank you guys for your questions
Um, check out the show if you haven't and also please hit the subscribe button if you haven't
Don't forget to to check out all of the merch at shop dot dirty mo media dot com
And we'll see you next week. Yeah
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About this episode
Birthday cake drama kicks things off with a “birthday cake martini” recipe and a Mooresville dinner at Epic Chop House. The big story: Dale’s birthday cake mix-up—he thought he ordered a carrot cake, but a cake from the wrong place was picked up, leading to a “stole someone’s birthday cake” moment until Steven Steffen fixes it. They also debate modern tech (Waymo fears), explain “key fob” origins, and swap family-life stories, including Key West bar chaos and a color-swatch gift plan. The episode ends with “bless your heart” advice and Family Feud-style games.
Original notes
This week on Bless Your ‘Hardt, Amy’s birthday celebration did not exactly go according to plan, and somehow it involved two carrot cakes, a mystery bundt cake, and a situation where Dale may or may not have taken someone else’s cake. Amy and Dale recap her birthday, including dinner at Epic in downtown Mooresville, along with a special birthday drink presented by High Rock Vodka, a funny debate about old school cars versus today’s safety features, and why self-driving cars are a hard pass.
Plus, Dale shares stories from his Key West trip, including a bar shot that involves getting smacked, and things spiral into conversations about color analysis, closet chaos, and why he refuses to throw anything away. The episode wraps with a chaotic round of Family Feud and Ask Amy, where they give advice on meeting the parents and talk about what age they would go back to if they could.
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