Goodwood is a famous racing venue in the UK, and the Members’ Meeting is an event where car people gather. The hosts are saying some of them went there this week.
Jaguar Classic is about the company’s older cars and history. It’s like a heritage program where you learn about the brand’s past before looking at newer models.
“Targa” refers to a roof style where the car has a removable roof section (or openable panel) while retaining structural elements like a roll bar/upper frame. Pairing it with a V12 highlights the classic Jaguar formula: open-air cruising with a smooth, high-displacement engine.
Car
Jaguar XJ12
The Jaguar XJ12 is an old Jaguar with a big V12 engine. It’s the kind of car collectors love because it’s luxurious and sounds/feels very special, and this one is from the mid-1980s.
That “brick phone” is the huge, old-style mobile phone people used in the 1980s. The host is saying the car still has the original one, which makes it feel like a real time capsule.
The Renault 25 is a car model from the 1980s that was made for normal everyday driving. The podcast mentions it in the context of an old advertisement. It’s basically a reminder of how common and well-known the model was at the time.
A 5.3-liter V12 is a large-displacement V12 engine, meaning two banks of six cylinders arranged in a “V” shape. In classic Jaguars, this kind of engine is prized for its smoothness and strong character at idle and low speeds—exactly what the host is reacting to when he says it’s “going like this.”
This describes a specialized vehicle-handling system used in collections or workshops: a low-loader that can lift a car from the front and then roll it into position. The key idea is controlled, repeatable positioning without needing to drive the car around the facility.
The Jaguar F-Type is a modern sports car from Jaguar. It’s built to be fun to drive and to look like a proper sports car. The podcast connects it to classic Jaguar styling and colors.
They’re describing the car’s exact color and interior trim. On classic cars, the right paint and leather combo can make the car feel more “right” and can also affect collector interest.
Topic
track called Gaiden
“Gaiden” is mentioned as the track at the “big Jaguar place,” framing the segment as a track-driven experience rather than a static showroom evaluation. For listeners, it signals that these Jaguars were tested dynamically on a real circuit.
Car
Jaguar Type Convertible
“Jaguar” here means the car brand. The podcast talks about driving different Jaguar cars, including a convertible with a 3.6-liter straight-six engine. It’s mentioned because the brand makes multiple types of cars.
This is another Jaguar XJ variant with a V12 engine. The “12” is the important part—it’s the engine that makes it feel like a proper big, fast grand tourer.
Potholes are bumps in the road that hit your tires and suspension. If the car makes them feel mild, it means the suspension is doing a good job soaking up the bumps instead of jolting you.
A vinyl roof is a plastic-looking roof covering that’s used for style. It’s usually not about performance—more about how the car looks and sometimes how it feels inside.
They’re describing how car companies sometimes invite journalists into their factories and give special access. The hosts suggest that this experience can make reviewers feel more positive about the car.
Maranello is where Ferrari is based in Italy. The host is using it to illustrate how being at the heart of the brand can change how you feel about the car.
A test track is a special driving course where cars are evaluated. It’s designed to let you test performance in a consistent way, which can affect what you think of the car.
The Infiniti M45 is a luxury car that’s meant to feel more powerful than the standard versions. The podcast mentions it during a highway drive, showing it’s used for normal road trips. It’s basically a comfortable sedan with extra performance.
The Bentley Bentayga is a luxury SUV from Bentley. It’s the kind of car people use when they want comfort and a premium feel for a longer drive.
Topic
Bistro Scramble
“Bistro Scramble” sounds like a specific event format tied to the members’ gathering—likely a fun, timed or staged arrival/drive-in for borrowed cars. The key point is that the hosts are coordinating special cars to show up for that event.
A Porsche Cayenne is Porsche’s SUV. It’s basically a Porsche you can drive like a normal car, but with Porsche-style performance. The host is saying they bought one even though it has a lot of miles.
“Every button has to work” is a buyer’s standard for complete functional verification of the car’s controls and infotainment/comfort switches. It’s essentially a checklist approach: if any button or function fails, it can trigger a return under the contract.
An internal combustion engine is the kind of engine that burns fuel to make the car move. They’re making a joke that there aren’t literal buttons inside the engine.
A “demonstration” in motorsport context typically means a controlled on-track display—often for showcasing a car, driver, or event—rather than a competitive race. It helps explain why someone might be “pretending to race” while still staying within event rules and safety limits.
A racing suit is the special outfit drivers wear at the track. It’s made to be safer and more comfortable than normal clothes when you’re driving hard.
They’re referencing Steve McQueen, who was famous for both acting and being into racing. Here it’s just a way of saying the guy looks like that classic “cool racer” type.
They’re comparing the person’s look to Ken Miles, a famous race driver. It’s more about the attitude/style than anything technical.
Concept
revival
They’re talking about doing a special event that brings back the vibe of classic racing. Instead of skipping it, they’re saying you should go because it’s part of the fun and the culture.
“Jaggy” is a nickname for Jaguar, and here it’s clearly shorthand for an experience or event involving Jaguar. Since the episode title mentions “the new Jaguar,” this is likely a reference to time spent with the brand’s latest model(s).
Topic
away day
An “away day” just means the team goes somewhere else for an event. It’s like a club trip—sometimes for driving or meeting up.
Term
M25
The M25 is a big ring road around London. People use it to describe where you are and how long a drive might take.
Term
M11
The M11 is a big highway in the UK. They’re basically saying that area is usually slow or congested, so trips can take longer than you’d expect.
Concept
bogey part of the UK
They mean a part of the UK that’s a pain to get to or deal with. It’s more about frustration and experience than anything car-related.
A “shunt” just means a crash. Saying “stages” means the crash happens in steps—first impact, then the car gets pushed and crumples, and then things like steering or other systems may stop working. It’s a way to explain what happened in order.
If the steering wheel stops working after a crash, it usually means the steering system got damaged or the help system failed. That can make the car hard or impossible to control even if the wheels are still turning.
They’re calling it a “dynamic exercise,” meaning it’s a real driving evaluation, not just looking at the car. With an electric car, it’s especially about how it feels when you accelerate and how stable it is while driving.
“Heritage” means the brand’s history and what it’s known for. Jaguar is trying to connect the new electric cars to the things people associate with the brand from the past.
Rodin Glover is referenced as “the boss” at the Jaguar event. This is a people/leadership mention rather than a technical automotive term, but it can be useful for listeners who want to connect the discussion to who’s steering the brand’s direction.
“Ride and handling” is how comfortable the car feels over rough roads and how well it steers and stays stable when you drive hard. The host is saying this car is excellent at both, especially the comfort part.
“Thousand horsepower” means the car has a huge amount of power. With that much power, it’s usually very quick. But the host is also hinting that how it drives (ride and control) matters as much as raw power.
The host is joking that the car is extremely heavy. Heavy cars can feel less agile and can make braking and cornering harder, but they’re saying this one still feels impressive anyway.
“Jaguar-ness” is the idea of a specific driving feel that Jaguar is known for. The host is saying the new car still feels like a Jaguar in how it rides and handles.
Concept
marketplace that they're entering
The host is talking about the competition and customer expectations in the segment Jaguar is trying to join. Even a great car has to fit what buyers in that category are looking for.
“Flat-floor” refers to a cabin floor shape that helps packaging and can improve perceived space and ergonomics. In the context of the 1961 Jaguar E-Type, it’s part of what made the car feel unusually modern for its era.
Electric steering means the car helps you turn using an electric motor. Because it’s controlled electronically, engineers can tune how heavy or light the steering feels.
Weight transfer is what happens to the car’s “balance” when you speed up or slow down. The suspension reacts, so the car may squat or lift a bit depending on what the chassis is doing.
Term
accelerated
They’re talking about how the car’s body moves when you put your foot down. Some cars stay very flat, while others lift or rise a little as the suspension shifts weight.
“Great British Jaguar Day” is an event they’re putting on. The hosts say it’s meant to be about Jaguar’s whole story—where it came from, what it is now, and where it’s going.
Company
Vista Motion
Vista Motion is another partner helping with the Jaguar event. They’re mentioned alongside other car-focused groups, implying they contribute to the experience.
A prototype is a near-finished test car. It’s built so engineers can check how the systems work, and it may have unusual controls or extra people to help during testing.
Electric cars use motors instead of a traditional engine, and they often feel different when you accelerate. The hosts are saying this one didn’t feel like the usual EV “instant shove” stereotype.
Uncamouflaged means the car is being shown without the usual disguise panels. It suggests the final design is getting close to ready for people to see.
The Nürburgring is a very famous race track in Germany. Automakers use it to test cars hard, because it’s tough on the car and reveals problems quickly.
Four-wheel steering means the back wheels can turn too, not just the front wheels. That can make the car easier to steer at low speeds and more stable at higher speeds. In this case, they’re saying the effect is smooth and not obvious, but still helpful.
They’re talking about how heavy the car is—about 2.7 tons. A heavier car often feels smoother and more stable, but it can also feel less agile. They’re basically saying the car is big and heavy, yet it still feels good to drive.
Term
160
“160” appears to reference a speed they didn’t reach during the drive. Rather than focusing on exact numbers, the takeaway is that the evaluation was likely done at normal road speeds, emphasizing comfort and steering feel over outright top-end performance.
They’re saying that after a few laps, they started to feel more comfortable and in control. That usually happens when you learn how the car grips the road and where it wants you to brake.
They’re talking about how electric cars can be much quieter than normal gas engines. The idea is that Jaguar wanted a more refined, quiet experience, and electric power helps achieve that.
“Group tests” are evaluations where multiple cars are tested side-by-side under the same conditions to compare performance, handling, comfort, and overall usability. Winning group tests usually signals that a car was consistently strong across different measures, not just in one headline metric.
The Peugeot 205 GTI was a super popular “hot hatch” back in its day. People loved how it drove, and it was seen as the best kind of small performance car for that time.
The Volkswagen Golf is a popular compact car. The podcast compares it to a famous sporty version of another car, suggesting it was a key “go-to” sporty model for its time. In simple terms, it’s a normal car that also had a fun, performance side.
An original race car is one that’s meant to be run like it was in its racing days. Because it’s older, it can be more temperamental, so small problems can cause big trouble.
A carburetor is an older-style part that mixes fuel with air so the engine can run. If it’s not working right, the engine can feel weak or may not run properly at all.
A warm-up lap is a lap you do right before the race to get everything working properly—engine, tires, and brakes—so the car feels right when you launch.
A chicane is a twisty section of track made of quick turns to slow you down. If your car stalls there, it’s hard to recover because you’re not going fast enough to regain momentum easily.
Scrutineers are race officials who check cars to make sure they follow the rules. If they’re paying a lot of attention, it usually means there were questions about whether everything was compliant.
Concept
first motor race
Racing for the first time is hard because it’s not just about speed. You also have to get the car ready and deal with the rules and practical stuff that comes with events.
Concept
navigate all the policing
“Policing” here likely refers to enforcement of racing rules—scrutineering, technical compliance, and on-track regulations. For first-time racers, this can feel like constant obstacles because the car may need specific safety or technical requirements to be allowed to compete.
Concept
buying a car and going racing
Buying a car to race it is different from buying one to drive normally. You usually need to prepare it and make sure it’s suitable for track use and the event rules.
Bird droppings can actually hurt your car’s paint if you leave them there too long. They’re easier to remove when you clean them soon, and special wipes or cleaners can help lift them without scrubbing too hard.
Polish is like a paint “refresher.” It helps make the paint look shiny again and can remove small marks, but it’s not the same as a protective wax layer.
These are special wipes made for removing bird droppings without damaging your paint. They’re handy because they’re quick, but you still shouldn’t scrub hard or let the mess sit too long.
If bird droppings dry on your car, they can stick and even damage the paint. That’s why people try to clean them quickly and avoid rubbing them when they’re dried on.
PPF is a clear protective sheet that you stick onto your car’s paint. It’s meant to keep bugs, small scratches, and road grime from damaging the paint underneath.
It’s basically saying acids can damage paint. That’s why you shouldn’t let bird droppings sit on the car for long.
Concept
satellite tracking
They’re making a joke that birds can track your car, but birds do tend to go where they can land and feed. The practical takeaway is to avoid parking under places birds like to hang out and to wash the mess off fast.
Repolishing means buffing the paint to make it look smooth and shiny again. If the bird mess has been sitting, it can leave marks that need buffing to fix.
A seagull is a type of bird. The podcast is saying the seagulls left because there wasn’t anything for them to eat. It’s not a car—just part of the scene being described.
They’re talking about how, during COVID, there were fewer people around beaches. With less food around, the seagulls changed their behavior and the whole place felt unusually quiet.
Goodwood is a well-known UK motorsport and automotive venue, and its car parks are part of the on-site experience. The hosts mention dust buildup from parking there, which is relevant to real-world car care after events.
If you leave a convertible’s top down, dust can get inside and onto the car more easily. They’re joking that people think it’ll be easy to clean later, but it often isn’t.
Birds often sit in trees and can drop stuff on your car. If you can, park somewhere without trees overhead to avoid getting mess on the paint and windows.
Bird poop can be surprisingly corrosive. If it sits on your car’s paint, it can burn through the protective clear layer, leaving damage that often can’t be fixed with a quick wash.
A rolling road is basically a dyno test where the car stays put and its wheels spin on rollers. The equipment measures how strong the engine is so you can see what changes improved (or hurt) performance.
Polishing is how you buff the paint to make it look shiny again. It can remove small marks, but if the paint’s protective layer is damaged, you may still need more than polishing.
Some birds, like magpies, are curious about shiny or reflective things. If your car is very clean and reflective, it can attract them more than a duller car.
Bird droppings can hurt your car’s paint if you don’t remove them the right way. Don’t just wipe them dry—let them soften first, then wash gently so you don’t scratch the surface.
The bonnet is the front cover of the car that opens to get to the engine. If something like bird droppings lands on it and bakes in the sun, it can be harder to clean without harming the paint.
If something nasty sits on your car and the sun heats it up, it can stick much harder. That’s when cleaning gets tricky and you can accidentally scratch the paint if you rush it.
The Rolls-Royce Phantom is a luxury car meant to feel extremely comfortable and refined. It’s designed for smooth, quiet driving, including longer trips. The podcast brings it up because someone owned one and used it for a drive.
Variable ratio steering means the steering “gears” change depending on how you’re driving. At low speeds it helps you turn the wheel more easily, and at higher speeds it aims to keep the car feeling steady.
A head-up display shows important info on the windshield, like speed or navigation cues, so you don’t have to look down. The hosts are debating whether it’s actually useful or just distracting, depending on lighting and sunglasses.
Polarized sunglasses can make some screens harder to see. In this case, the speaker says the HUD becomes difficult to read in bright daylight with sunglasses on.
CarPlay lets you use your iPhone in the car, showing certain apps on the screen. They’re saying they haven’t tried CarPlay to see how it affects what the car displays.
When the navigation system is turned on, the car can display route directions. Here, they’re saying the head-up display shows navigation guidance when sat-nav is active.
Supervised driving refers to a learner or novice driving program where an experienced driver is present and the learner practices under guidance. It’s often used to build real-world skills before full solo driving, which is why the speaker suggests it would have helped given how large and fast the car feels.
Term
M1
The M1 is a big UK highway. They’re using it as the setting to show how fast the car feels when changing lanes.
They’re talking about a warning that tells you when you’re going faster than the posted speed limit. In some cars, that warning can show up in the head-up display so you notice it quickly.
They’re discussing add-ons you can pay extra for when buying a car. The idea is to call out features that sound cool but don’t actually help you much in everyday driving.
The BMW 5 Series is a mid-size luxury sedan made by BMW. The podcast mentions different “E” codes, which are different generations of the same general model line. It’s a common car people discuss because it’s meant to be comfortable but still enjoyable to drive.
HUDs can feel like a sci-fi feature because the info appears in front of you. But the speaker is pointing out that what it looks like from the driver’s seat can be disappointing.
The Defender is a tough Land Rover that’s built for off-road use. Newer versions have lots of tech, so if someone says it’s disappointing, they’re usually talking about the modern features rather than the basic off-road ability.
Concept
coming home to stay
“Coming home to stay” is a phrase used to describe whether a product or idea is likely to become a long-term fixture rather than a short-lived trend. In car podcasts, it often frames a debate about whether a new model or technology will truly stick with buyers.
Car
Jaguar Project 8
Jaguar Project 8 is a special, performance version of a Jaguar meant to be quick and exciting. The big idea is that it brings race-car style tech to the driver, including screens that show info right on the windshield.
The windshield is the front glass you look through, but in some cars it also becomes part of the display system. If the display is projected there, it can help you keep your eyes on the road.
The BMW M5 is a very fast BMW that’s meant for sporty driving. It has special seats that help keep you in place when the car turns hard. People talk about it a lot because it’s powerful but still practical.
These are seats that can squeeze your sides during cornering to keep you from sliding. If they react late, it can feel weird—like they grab you after you’ve already turned.
They mention the Pontiac Grand Prix as another car that offered a head-up display soon after the Oldsmobile. It’s an example of how quickly the feature caught on.
They’re pointing to the 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme as an early adopter of a head-up display. Back then, that kind of tech was unusual, so it stood out as a premium feature.
They’re saying the 1988 Nissan Silvia S13 in Japan also got a head-up display around the same era. The S13 is the specific generation of the Silvia they’re talking about.
The “two car garage” is a regular part of the show where they focus on two cars. Here, they’re setting up the Jaguar segment after talking about earlier tech history.
“Jaguar DNA” is basically the brand’s personality. It means the things that make a Jaguar feel like a Jaguar, even when the technology or strategy changes.
Topic
Jaguar strategy of vision
The phrase “strategy of vision for Jaguar” points to a corporate/brand direction—how Jaguar plans its future product lineup and identity. Listeners may benefit from knowing that these “vision” strategies usually guide design, engineering priorities, and marketing.
Concept
three car garages
It’s basically talking about having a garage full of cars. The idea is that you can’t always have the perfect mix of cars you want, because money and logistics limit you.
A “straight six” is an inline six-cylinder engine layout, where all cylinders sit in one line. It’s often praised for smoothness and balance, and many classic performance cars used it for that reason.
The Jaguar E-Type is a legendary classic sports car from Jaguar. People love it for its iconic design and driving feel, and it’s so well-known that the host calls it a bit “obvious.”
They’re talking about how classic car prices can drop when fewer people are around to buy them. The host gives an example of Jaguar classics falling in price compared to a decade ago.
“Series 1” is the earliest version of the Jaguar XJ. It’s the one people often think of when they picture the classic, old-school XJ look. Here it’s mentioned alongside the V12, meaning it’s the big-engine version.
Overheating is when the engine gets too hot. If that happens, it can cause damage and usually means something in the cooling system isn’t working right. The host is basically saying the car might be a money pit if it overheats.
Company
AA
The AA is a UK service that helps if your car breaks down. The host is joking that if you buy an older, temperamental car, you might want the best breakdown cover. It’s like paying for backup in case the car has problems.
“Saloon” is basically the UK word for a sedan. Manish is saying Jaguar had different paths—some cars were more like sedans, while others were more like two-door coupes.
Right-hand drive means the steering wheel is on the right side of the car. Some countries drive that way, and it changes how the car feels and how you sit behind the wheel.
“Spats” are aerodynamic covers over the wheels (often on older cars) that help smooth airflow around the tires. They’re mostly associated with classic styling and period racing/aero trends rather than modern fitment.
A limited-slip differential helps the car put power down when one wheel starts to slip. It’s a traction aid that makes the car feel more confident, especially when the road isn’t perfectly grippy.
The Jaguar XK120 is an old-school Jaguar sports car from the mid-20th century. People love it because it looks great and drives in a very “classic sports car” way, and restorations often try to keep the original look.
This is a big, luxury Daimler with a V8 engine. The “long-wheelbase” means the back seat has more legroom, so it feels more like a private lounge than a normal car.
A restomod is an old-school car that gets “freshened up” with modern upgrades. The goal is to keep the classic style, but make it drive and feel more like a newer car.
Aluminium is a lightweight metal. Using it in the car’s body can help the car feel more solid and can also help it resist rust better than some older steel designs.
This is about how well the car’s body fights rust. If the shell is rust-resistant, it should stay in better shape for years with less corrosion damage.
Car and Classic is a place where classic cars are bought and sold, often through auctions. They also show up at big car events, so it’s relevant to classic-car enthusiasts.
The Jaguar XJR is a sportier, more powerful version of Jaguar’s XJ sedan. It’s the kind of trim people pick when they want the same car, but with extra performance and attitude.
The Peugeot 405 Super Touring refers to the 405 prepared for the Super Touring racing category, which was a highly competitive touring-car formula in Europe. The key point here is that it’s not just a road car—it’s a race-prepped machine, which is why towing it and doing hands-on repairs is such a big enthusiast flex.
They’re talking about hauling a car a long distance by trailer, instead of paying for shipping. It’s a big effort that shows how serious the person is about the hobby.
This means a belt that drives a component (the pump) slipped off. When that happens, the car can lose the function that pump provides, and you may need to fix it quickly.
Concept
reverse synthesizers
They’re talking about a music production trick where a sound is played backward or heavily processed. It can make the noise feel weird and futuristic, which is why it grabs your attention right away.
This is a Porsche 911 “SC” model. They’re saying that even with the roof taken off, the car still feels surprisingly good and handles well. It’s basically a compliment to how solid the car’s design is.
Weissach is a Porsche testing area in Germany. When they mention an aggressive slide there, they mean the car was being driven hard to see how it behaves.
They’re talking about a Porsche 911 GT3 from the 992 generation, and it has PDK. PDK is a fast-shifting automatic that’s designed to feel more like a race gearbox. The “yellow” part means the car’s paint was ordered specially from the factory.
A “special-order color” means the car was painted in a non-standard factory color chosen by the buyer. For enthusiasts, this matters because it can affect rarity, resale appeal, and how the car is documented (paint codes and build records). It also helps explain why a particular car stands out in photos or videos.
They’re talking about posting the car on Instagram. It’s a social media app where people share photos and videos. Car folks use it a lot to show off specific cars and updates.
Progressive is an insurance provider. They’re telling listeners to go to their website to answer a few questions and get an insurance quote with discounts.
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Hello and welcome to the car podcast with Chris Harris and his friend.
I've got a bit of smoker dust on my screen there, that's always irritating.
Yes, it's episode number 84, which is getting closer to the big three figures, isn't it?
If you're a batsman, we're nearly in the nervous 90s.
So we're still playing freely and our stroke play is still good.
We might seize up a bit when we get close to the big three figures this week.
First things first, things we've done in cars this week, any interesting news.
There was a Ford slash in there as well.
So I think three of us went to the Goodwood members meeting, Manish didn't.
So Manish can go first and justify why he wasn't there with his teammates.
Well, I'm sorry, it's my son's last weekend before he goes up to university.
So we spent a bit of sun time together.
Unfortunately, he's not into cars no matter what I seem to do.
He just does not get into cars.
But I will be taking him up to university in a big green Bentayga on Tuesday tomorrow.
So maybe that will change everything.
Maybe that will change everything.
Put simply, last week, the four of us were invited to Jaguar.
In fact, Mr Cooper and I went up to Jaguar heritage first.
Sorry, Jaguar Classic.
I could thank you.
We were guests of Dominic Elms and the crew and I could talk for an hour.
I could actually talk for an hour just about Jaguar Classic and I'm not going to.
But we got to choose our cars for our Jaguar event.
And I have to say, I don't melt very often, but I melted about every 30 seconds there.
Eventually, they pulled out a Jaguar XJ12 from the mid 80s, a Targa V12,
which had the original brick phone in it.
And I pretended to trade a few gold futures.
I felt like I was in an 80s coffee advert or an 80s advert with Rosalind Landau
that wasn't a Renault 25 ad.
Give me the next JS.
Sorry, the next JS.
I was melting in this car.
It was so perfect.
When I turned her over, 5.3-litre V12 engine was just going like this.
Is there an engine somewhere in this vast shed?
I also spotted the front half of the Widenale and I Jaguar that they used for the musical.
It was just unbelievable with this missing spotlight.
It's like going into a toy shop with all these Jaguars all facing you, all foot apart.
And they've got a machine.
They've got the best machine I've ever seen in my life.
Imagine a low-loading forklift truck that goes up to a car from the front.
And these two bars come out like this and they open like that behind the front wheels.
And they roll.
And your car just rolls up onto the front of this low-loader and they just reverse it.
And they can position it any way they want.
And it was such an epiphany.
I decided that the car that nukes the concept of an R107 is a Series 1E type Jaguar.
In exactly those colours, Deep Metallic.
Deep Metallic Grey with Oxblood leather, they had one for just £230,000 in the showroom.
I just couldn't stop salivating.
I've never, never, never felt like this in any kind of dealership, whatever, whatever.
There was so much beauty.
And then, and then we went on to the big Jaguar place, which had a track called Gaiden.
And I did something I've never done in my life.
I drove five different cars in two hours on an actual track, five.
They were all Jaguars.
Has that managed, has that actually doubled your lifetime total of cars driven?
Almost, yes, almost.
No, if I hadn't sold Mitsubishi's easily.
Okay.
Yes, yes.
Now, I have to say, five different cars.
And I got to drive the type convertible with a 3.6 straight six.
And I had that really tricky third to second.
That was, that was crazy.
Sorry, 3.8.
And then we got to drive the XJ6 V12, which was pretty goddamn unbelievable.
Then we got to drive Steed's XJC 12.
Oh my God.
I was doing 110 miles an hour down the back straight.
And I was just chatting like this, just chatting.
This car was so well-managed.
Then we went on the pothole road.
You couldn't feel any potholes in this car.
It was actually Alibaba's carpet with a vinyl roof.
It was unbelievable.
And then we got to drive the new one.
And I'm not saying anything about it.
Other than, oh my word, we got it unveiled the whole thing.
And I drove five cars.
Got to see a new Jag, got to drive a new Jag.
And I got to spend time with some proper, proper engineers.
And I have to say, the passion, every single engineer who took us out in each of those cars,
races, or is building a car in a garage, or is bought a home because it's got a garage,
or two garages.
The car passion, the desire, all else is, I think Jaguar is in great hands because
if these are the people who build and design the new car, it's just in their blood.
And none of them, by the way, who've been there for six minutes or six months,
these are Jaguarati, whatever that word would be.
These people bleed Jaguar.
And it was just, it was literally one of the best days of my life.
And their lunch with their cauliflower and batter with the chilli sauce.
Good.
I didn't try that with the tasty.
It was searing.
It was searing.
I got an extra five kilometres an hour down the back straight from that bit of cauliflower.
Yes, so that tells you what we did this week.
Some of us together, well, all of us together on Thursday.
It was fascinating.
And I second all of it really.
There's something intoxicating about being invited to the inner sanctum of a car company.
Feels like a privilege.
And you can see, I hope my learning colleagues have seen the Jedi mind tricks these car companies can play on you
because normally, and I say this without my cynical hat on,
in this instance, it's a very serious moment for Jaguar really is make or break.
When it's really serious, they invite you to drive the car in the car company
because once you go through those barriers, you go, oh, feel a bit special here.
This is quite nice.
And sure enough, you tend to get more positive reviews because that's what happens.
And I think it's a trick they all should be allowed to play.
You go and drive a terrible Ferrari, but spend the day in the factory at Maranello
and they drive the fear on a test track.
You'll probably give it a slightly kinder review.
But no, it was fascinating.
I second everything Manish said.
Chris Cooper thoughts.
It was an extraordinary day.
Wasn't it last Thursday?
It was sort of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, boxing day, your 21st birthday,
day before your wedding, all of those things wrapped into one.
Because people know this and we all know this, you get that nervous excitement beforehand.
So you get up two hours early.
And I'd agreed to meet Manish at the train station near here.
So we agreed what train is going to get.
I said, you tell me what training you're going to get.
Because I'm nervous, excited when you're on the train, takes me to make sure you're on the train.
I thought I'll manage.
Manish obviously expected me to be there about time.
Being me, I was there 45 minutes early.
Because you just are.
But I was there half an hour early.
You texted me saying early, you think you all got on the train.
So I said, don't worry, I'm already here.
Because early is on time.
So we had a lovely little drive up the M1 and the M45.
In the Bentayga.
In the Bentayga.
And then we had a lovely drive across country to Gayden.
Jaguar Classic was extraordinary.
I do want to second what Manish you've said to Dolman, to Paul Reigns and the whole crew there.
They are being unbelievably excited and supportive about our great British Jaguar day.
And they're going to bring a whole host of really, really extraordinary cars.
I think the whole set of the hero cars we're going to have together,
they haven't ever been seen together in the same place at the same time.
It's really, and there's some privately owned cars,
which some extraordinary people are going to bring along as well.
Which is just, I mean, unbelievably exciting.
Cameron, Finley and I were at members meeting all weekend.
And loads of people came up and said, look, I could bring this.
I know somebody's got this car and this one, everyone thought has gone away.
Could we bring that?
It's just amazing.
So looking around the collection at Jaguar Classic,
it's like looking out for your outfit before your prom night or your 21st birthday.
So I think, oh, I don't know which to choose.
They're wonderful.
And with Neil and I, Jag was, I had no idea to expect it there.
This is going to go out on Sunday, on Friday.
There's two very, very fun special cars that they've allowed us to borrow
for the Bistro Scramble to arrive in.
So if it's Bistro Scramble on the Sunday after this,
you're in for hopefully a little bit of a fun treat.
So yeah, so the whole Jaguar Classic thing, colleagues,
I'll leave Chris to talk a bit more about driving the new Jaguar,
because it was a very, very special thing.
The other thing I wanted to say was the members meeting.
I was spent the whole weekend there with Finley and Cameron, one of their friends.
The weather was blue skyed and it was lovely.
Slight problem with the phone signal, which probably...
They just switched the mast off or what?
Because normally with so many people in one place, it's a problem.
I think what happened is, I suspect there were slightly more people in there this year,
but mind you, the revival is a bigger event, which I tend not to go to.
I suspect it was because of this new app with the ticketing.
And that sort of sucked more juice out of the thing.
So you couldn't lose contact with the people you were with,
because you'd have to then rely on brownie and motion to reconnect with them in the rest of the day.
But it was fantastic.
All the racing was just brilliant.
The thing I wanted to say about it though was, it's just such a lovely event.
And lots of people came up.
I saw Neil, you had it, and Chris would have been...
He was swamped by people saying lovely things about Chris anyway
and what he's doing and what he has done.
But even my little sort of humble contribution to this,
there were young people, dads, sisters, brothers, husbands wise, boyfriends, girlfriends,
came up various points a weekend and said,
look, how much they enjoyed what we do, which is, I have to say, really, really humbling.
So it was lovely. It was brilliant.
The cars were great. The racing was great.
We've had an extraordinary...
There will never be another week slash month slash weekend like this.
Very good week. No Clifford.
I bought a Porsche Cayenne, 97,000 miles.
What's going to go wrong there? Nothing.
I haven't seen it. They've told me that everything works.
Do you think that's true?
To be clear, because you are very good like this.
Neil, when he buys a car, he's very clever.
He makes sure that somewhere written down, there is a clause that means
that if it doesn't meet with his expectations, it's going back.
And on this one, I know he's used the phrase,
every button has to work.
Now I think that's a fecking tall order for a sweaty, old Porsche.
By the letter of the law, you can find any little button that doesn't quite work
and it's going back, isn't it?
Well, you know, because I'm very trusting
and I can't be asked to go to Manchester
and I know the lovely man that's selling it.
All I ask is, does everything work?
Every single button does what it should.
Is that correct? Please could you reply to my email and confirm that.
And once I've got that, I feel covered.
Clearly, I'm not covered at all.
There's no buttons inside the internal combustion engine.
And I've looked at the service history and it's olive green metallic.
It might not even have an engine, but it's olive green metallic.
So that's actually clearly not the most exciting thing.
But being I got an E in my English O level,
you guys will be able to articulate a lot of the things we did,
maybe slightly better than me.
I'd like to touch on good with just very, very briefly,
because I took my three brothers.
I've got three brothers and they're all older than me.
I was, as I've said before, I'm sure I was the last attempt at a girl
and bless my mom and dad.
They're not around now and I don't see them enough
because you're a bit rubbish and you think you're too busy
and it's all a bit shit, isn't it?
But anyway, I got them all together.
They're all in Portsmouth.
They all live in Portsmouth.
Goodwood is a place that we grew up with.
We were there when it was overgrown.
You could just drive in and drive your Mark I escort round in 1983
before you sorted it out and made it what it is, well class.
So to take them there for the first time, brilliant.
We were very well looked after and as Chris said, it's Christmas Day.
Actually, I got a message from Tom from Carl and Classics at 5.15 on Saturday morning
just saying, it's Christmas Day.
And obviously, he's braver than me.
He was racing or pretending to race.
I think he was in a demonstration, wasn't he?
In a touring car.
So he was looking very dapper and I'm very jealous of men
walking around in racing suits.
He did look good in his racing suit, didn't he?
Yeah, he was born to it.
He's our Tom and looking very sophisticated
with a hint of Steve McQueen in there, isn't it?
I wouldn't go that far.
A bit of Ken Miles vibe, you know.
That's good, yeah.
So he was looking brilliant and I gave him a hug
and I was very excited.
I don't do jealousy, but I don't want to go around the tracks.
I think the racing suit, if you could just wear a racing suit
and not go around the track, maybe I'll do that next time.
But yeah, so good with Magic Hall.
If you don't do revival, Mr Cooper, you're wrong about that.
You need to do that because it's...
I'm sure you're right.
I'm sure you're right.
And so that was great.
Jaggy was amazing. You guys will talk about it.
You know, I always felt there was one...
I had one big job left in me, you know,
after the handbag and shoe thing,
but after being at Jaggy for the day,
I'm like, fuck that.
That's too difficult, that car automotive.
See, clearly, maybe people have got the wrong email address.
I haven't had any offers yet.
But, you know, and it was an amazing privilege.
And, you know, we all thank Mr Harris
for opening this door for us, really,
getting exposed to the inner sanctum,
as you say, of a car company,
because it's a huge intellectual challenge
being successful in that world.
I mean, any company is, I suppose, but this is harder.
You know, you've got the wins against you
from every direction at the moment, haven't you?
Europe, Trump, you know, tons of stuff.
But it was such a pleasure and lovely people.
In the end, it's all about the people, people in the cars,
and we had a wonderful day, and the cauliflower was great.
But for me, it was about my three brothers at Goodwood,
walking about, so that's it.
I'm not all three brothers.
Tiny medical factoid.
You know, I think this is pretty true.
If you have two children that are the same sex, Neil,
the chances of the third one being the same sex are five and six.
And I don't know what the chances are of the fourth one
being the same sex, but I presume they're even higher.
So...
Right.
Statistically.
If you have two that are the same...
If you get two that are the same sex, basically,
the fifth and sixth chance of being the same sex,
what's the big deal with the chemistry of the mummy and the daddy there?
Yeah, it sounds like it was like 19 out of 20
that I was going to be a boy.
Yeah, I don't think they knew that in 1967.
No, I think you're right.
So, I think it's a really good, busy week for me.
So, I started off by going up to meet the current classic team
at their away day
in a hotel that couldn't have been more inconvenient for me,
which is brilliant.
We've all got our bogey part of the UK, haven't we?
Where we live.
If someone says, go there, your brain goes, it's not possible.
You can't get there.
And for me, it's that bit round the other side
of the north of the M25 Essex Way.
If you live in the southwest,
it's quicker for me to get to, like, in New York
than it is to get there.
But I just thought to myself, oh, God, it's up there.
Anyhow, I got in the car, set off in the continental T
and set off early.
And actually, quite a surprisingly pleasant journey,
but it always takes forever to get somewhere near the M11.
I think in my head, I just shut down.
We've all got, we'll do that.
What's your bogey part of the UK?
That is a good one.
I met the current classic sales team,
a bunch of super passionate, knowledgeable people,
and I'm really excited about working with them this year.
So it was really great to meet them.
They had a fantastic bunch of cars.
There was a gentleman there who worked with the sales team
and has a white, automatic 3.6-litre XJS.
What more do you need to know?
What more do you need to know?
And then that evening I had dinner
with some carry friends that included
a couple of franquities, a tuttle and a kudori.
So that was really, really good fun.
And out of it came some very good T-shirt quotations.
You need to tell me.
Yeah, Philips was the best.
He was describing an accident he had at Le Mans once
in a Porsche.
And he said, he was trying to describe
the different stages of the shunt
when he realized he was in trouble.
You're in a Porsche 960, you're not that protected, he goes.
And he then said, I quote,
and then the steering wheel stopped working.
I thought it was very good.
So fast forward to Thursday, which was obviously to Jaguar.
Now this has been done by several journalists already,
I think 30 or 40 people have been through.
And we were rightly and comfortably at the back of that list
because they got everyone through earlier in the year.
It was a dynamic exercise to drive the new electric Jaguar.
And also the opportunity to drive some classic cars
to provide context and support.
Some of the materials Jaguar is now presenting, hopefully,
and we think Justify will be celebrating its heritage.
There was nothing exceptional about the way they laid it out.
If you've done these things before, it made a lot of sense.
Rodin Glover was there, who was the boss.
And it was a real privilege to have the boss there.
So we thank him for his time.
Absolutely.
They Jaguar, several employees presented the vision of the car to us
and why they ended up where they have, which again made sense.
And I think we all really enjoyed listening to what each member of their team had to say.
We then saw the car.
We can't say anything about it at all other than the fact that we've seen the car.
And it's a car.
That's all we can say.
There's a piece of paper that says all you can say is it's a car.
Dynamically, it's interesting that all three of Maloney colleagues have shied away from saying anything.
But that's partly, I think, because they want to let me have the chance to say it first.
But also, I think, because it's easy to say something once someone else has said something,
because then you can chime in afterwards and go, yeah, I thought that as well.
I think this is the culmination of a lot of work and a lot of expertise and quite a bit of freedom.
This is a dynamic surprise, this car.
It's at the very top end of anything I've driven before in terms of the way that it rides and handles.
I don't think there's any surprise that a vehicle that's got a thousand horsepower, whatever it's got,
is very fast despite the fact that it weighs as much as a celestial orb.
It's very, very fast.
But the ride and handling, especially the ride, is extraordinary
and I think is suffused with a jaguar-ness that left me very, very comfortable with where they've headed
with the dynamics of the car.
I still fear for the marketplace that they're entering.
If I'm honest with you, sorry, it's entering.
Singular car company, it's early at 6 a.m. in the moment.
I don't think, Jaguar, however hard you work, you can't improve the marketplace into which you're going.
Can you? And Neil will know that completely.
You have the best idea ever and unless there's a receptive marketplace, I think there is.
I think, sadly, this is an international car.
I mean, it's not going to be sold in droves in the UK, which is a shame.
Then we'll sell some, I'm sure, but the UK is not the place to sell this car right now.
But it is a Jaguar and I think we can credit them with that.
I was, let's say, confused a little bit by some of the messaging around Jaguar's version of how successful its initial launch into this territory was.
Because we know that the pink car and the accompanying assets with it, I think, just bemused a lot of people.
But actually, when I thought about that, it wasn't the fact that Jaguar launched an aggressive, ridiculous-looking pink car, which, by the way, I think looks really cool.
It was Jaguar's follow-up messages that I found and I think all of us found difficult when, effectively, it distanced itself from a community of people that really love its cars.
And I think, let's just say they might have a bit of work to do on that front still.
But the rest of it, I really, really enjoyed.
I thought the car was a dynamic surprise and maybe that's the thing that is interesting.
Jaguar has always presented us with dynamic surprises.
Throughout history, there's been styling surprises, but I can't talk about the styling design.
But the dynamics have always been a surprise.
The 1961 flat-floor E-Type we all drove must have felt like a spaceship to people in 1961.
And this car is a similar leap in some areas.
It's really, really impressive.
So well done to the team, as Manage said, a bunch of very, very clever, passionate people.
And to say that we've driven a Jaguar E-Type around Jaguar's test track is so special.
I mean, good God, are we lucky.
So the rest of you now chime in with your thoughts on the dynamics and see what you think.
I'll single out two things before I do that.
I don't know how you make a car of that weight with electric steering steer that well.
Steering was exceptional.
And I was just, when I accelerated, the prowl rose.
Yeah.
That's clever, because that doesn't happen in modern cars.
Normally you accelerate cars to this flat, but it just did a little rise.
And I thought, that reminds me of being in the next J-12, which is great.
Right, the rest of you chime in with your dynamics.
I thought the moment you, I mean, it was an extraordinary day really, because Chris, you've done this before.
And I think, but for the three of us, we're probably the only three people who don't fit into Jaguar employees or journalists.
So for the three of us to be there.
We were virgins.
We were, we were something.
That's certainly for, for sure.
The point you, the discussion that you alluded to that we had with Rod and some of the engineers and colleagues there and Ken, who's the head of their global PR and comms.
We had a very grown up conversation about the brand and how they'd come from where they were to where they want to be.
And I think we're all on the same page to say you had to do something.
You couldn't keep on going on being a slightly loss making manufacturer of small SUVs.
And I was, you know, we're all, all four of us are involved in making the great British Jaguar Day a success with our friends at Car and Classic and Vista Motion.
But sort of my little gang and I are probably pretty heavily involved in it.
And one of the things that we thought about quite carefully was how to describe the day.
And we quite, I think we all agree with this, that the great British Jaguar Day is not about nostalgia.
It's not just about nostalgia.
It's about the past, present and future of Jaguar.
And that's what got their interest.
That's why they invited us because they could see that we, we give a shit.
And this has come from a place of passion.
So the conversation we had about the brand and we're working on the details.
But one way or another, the conversation we had there, Chris, that I think you led in an extraordinarily thoughtful and interesting way with Jaguar about who they are, where they're coming from, why they made certain choices.
We're going to find some way of replicating that on stage at the great British Jaguar Day.
It's going to be really, really worth listening to.
The car was, as soon as you got into it, it's an engineering prototype.
I've never driven an engineering prototype with all the big red buttons and somebody in the back acting as a minder.
You were very excited.
I was more excited.
I mean, it was its 21st Boxing Day, Christmas Day, your wedding day, the whole shebang.
As soon as you get in, press the throttle and turn the wheel to move out of their little sort of styling design garden.
You think, wow, this is quite a grown up thing.
And as Chris says, you know, to go into the chapter, I think I did 167 miles an hour on the outward straight.
It's got a beautifully linear feel.
Quite often electric cars, this sort of this thing just felt like it was and you described it beautifully, Chris.
When you give it the beans, give it the berries, as Nigel would say.
And you just feel it sort of squat a bit and the prowl comes up in a very unev-like way.
I really liked it.
I really liked it.
It was, we'll see the thing for real.
We've seen it uncamouflaged.
It'll be revealed later this year.
But to drive it, it was, the car that we drove, they've driven to the Nürburgring and back.
They took it on your tunnel.
They did all the things that we would do with it.
I was really pleasant.
It's very, very, a little text exchange with Matt Becker, who reached out to me, who's going to come to the Great British Jaguar Day.
The great Matt Becker.
Say, what do you think?
What do you think it said?
The ride, the steering.
Wow.
Anything more from Malerni?
Did two other colleagues want to talk about the dynamics?
I didn't really want to drive it, really, because I wasn't sure I'd be able to tell the difference.
And I'm still not.
You know what?
It's really comfy, smooth, lovely, vast, powerful, the steering you guys, it's just a cool thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Manage?
To the tiny thing, I thought the seating position was exceptional.
We talk about that.
You felt that you were in the car, in the car or on the car, which for an electric car is not necessarily that straightforward.
And the second thing is, the four-wheel steer for me was really subtle.
So, you know, you pointed out, I think it's 2.7 tons.
This is, you know, a big car, it's a heavy car, but I'm not a racing driver.
I didn't get it to 160.
I got it just less than 120, which was quick enough for me on that main straight.
But just turning it in, my confidence obviously improved lap after lap.
I did three on the main circuit, third time round.
I did really enjoy accelerating, really did enjoy braking a few times.
Then I took it onto that bumpy circuit.
And, you know, as I've said before, it just felt so assured.
If you compared it to the XJ12C, they'd really, you know, Jaguar's are meant to be able to do all kinds of stuff.
And I think the biggest compliment I could pay this car is it is a Jaguar.
There is just no doubt about it. It's a Jaguar.
I think the chassis, yeah.
The one thing we have to acknowledge is that a company like Jaguar, with its luxury offering,
has been seeking a kind of automotive silence for, you know, the end of the century, hasn't it?
It's been looking for the silent engine.
The XJS V12 was supposed to be the silent engine.
Well, they've got the powertrain they want because it makes no noise.
So it sort of makes sense for a big Jag to be electric.
I just really talk about my Goodwood, which was, I don't have a lot of luck at Goodwood.
When I look over the years, I once nearly won the big race.
And since then it's been, it's been a few issues.
So the lovely Peter invited me to drive his Alfa Sood and tested the car just a couple of laps.
And it was quite clear we weren't going to be near the front, but what a fun little car to drive.
And I had no knowledge of the Alfa Sood.
So it's opened a door of appreciation for me.
I love coming to stuff late in life and think, I thought, why have I never driven an Alfa Sood?
So now I'm reading all the back issues of Car Magazine about the Alfa Sood.
It was quite clearly the doyen of its era.
It won all its group tests.
It was just the car.
It was the 205 GTI of its era, wasn't it?
Yeah.
It just won everything.
It was the driver's car.
Then it was obviously made out of a special metal that the Italians found that could rust faster than any other substance.
Yes.
I had one of those.
So by the time I got to it, even in the mid-80s, they were sort of all gone.
And this is an original racing car from a well-known family that used to race, Alfa Romeo.
And it didn't go to plan, let's just say.
The poor thing struggled a bit in qualifying.
I was a bit down in power, and we thought we found an issue with carburetor.
And then I was driving it on the warm-up lap to the start of the race.
I could feel a bit more inertia in the engine, and it just wasn't pulling as well.
And then it conked out as I rounded the very final chicane to go onto the grid.
And she didn't make the race.
And it was quite a large crowd.
I was pushed off, and no doubt the man on the tunnel was going, that's the idiot that used to work top gear.
We're pushing him off.
It was like a metaphor for my career, really.
But it was an interesting weekend, and I say to Peter, thank you very much.
He had a lot of attention from the scrutineers, but I think it was really difficult for him to deal with.
And it was challenging to live vicariously and watch someone do their first motor race.
He bought the car in really good faith in January, with a view to doing some racing.
And all he had was grief, really.
He just got, you know, this is wrong, that's wrong, this is wrong, that's wrong.
It's a really tough thing buying a car and going racing and trying to do it yourself,
and trying to navigate all the policing and everything else.
No one really helps you.
And at times, I think he was poorly treated, if I'm honest with you, and I want to give him a big hug.
But, you know, we got through it, and I think he'll live on and fight another day.
But to him and his family, who were really, really kind to me, they saw the tougher side of going racing for the first time with a car you've bought.
And I think he showed great determination and patience throughout the weekend.
So lots of love to all of them, and I hope you come back stronger.
This next one, I'm going to read it out.
And I read it the wrong way last night when I was having my Horlicks and going to bed.
And I laughed out loud, because I had a certain image, but you can clarify it.
Why do birds only shit on cars?
Now, have you say that with your best Terry McCann from Minder voice on?
It doesn't, let's just say the avian side of it is removed from the statement.
Amber, what was her name? Amber Hurt.
Amber Hurt.
So let's go to Neil first on this.
This is so freakishly un-messaged for me, I don't know where to begin, off you go.
Well, we were searching for an extra little addition to the agenda.
And I wanted something to be a little bit funny and a little bit quick and something that's been on my mind for many years.
You can't see bird shit anywhere apart from on cars.
And I was thinking, is it because it's disguised and camouflaged if it isn't on a car?
Or more curious for me, do birds not like cars?
And therefore there is some sort of little different world over here where birds have a shitting on cars championship.
Where they win prizes and yeah, but maybe there's a bird shit world championship on who can shoot on the best car.
Because we've all experienced it many, many times.
You get your car cleaned, you're very lucky to know a man that comes around to your house.
And you know, if you're lazy like me or frankly more importantly useless like me, I'm cleaning cars.
They end up worse than when I started, if I did it.
And then, oh, look, it's just a little wonderful and he's polished the paint and he's, you know, it's so chuffed with that.
Then there must be, there must be this whole another world where birds are like, there he is.
He's just cleaned his car, he spent 50 quid, 30 quid, 70 quid cleaning it.
Let's absolutely bomb it like Dresden.
You know what I mean?
Like the whole fucking thing.
And you end up within a day of three or four massive bird shits on the car.
And I was just curious about that.
Is it something that only happens to me or is this something that is a reality?
Plus, and I think there is, I can't remember the name of the lovely company that does all the polishes and the foam and the cloths.
And you know, the one that's got the little royal, it's got the, you know, the king.
I don't know if I remember the name.
Yes, they do these lovely little baby wipes, frankly, that are designed just to get bird shit off your car.
Because there's a challenge, isn't there?
But when it dries, what do you do?
And I've been, I've been known to use my finger because you're then paranoid, aren't you?
Because if you haven't got that, you know, whatever that thing, and I was sort of into that and then I've not been into it.
Covering your car in that plastic, whatever that's called.
PPF.
Which I think is frankly a bit of a con now I think about it because it's much more expensive and actually repainting your car five times.
But we have been, I've had a little moment of PPF.
If your car isn't PPF and you've missed the bird shit and it's dried.
That's a very anxious feeling that that bird is that that that deposit is burning through your paint and you've got to get it off as soon as possible.
So I think there's a whole discussion, maybe we'll do a special podcast about bird shit.
That it's a challenge from the beginning to an end.
I can't believe I'm having a philosophical chat about birds doing on cars at 6.44 am.
There we go.
Neil has expressed himself.
I've just done a bit of Googling.
So it seems there's some common sense answers to this.
I know my other two learning friends will probably go until I won't go into them now.
But there are some answers.
There are some answers.
Let's go to manage first.
Well, bird poo guano is acidic.
It's uric acid and that isn't good for paint.
That's absolutely true.
It's just not good for paint.
Acid doesn't like paint and paint doesn't like acid.
I think there's a subgroup of birds which only crap on convertibles just to make that sort of canvas hood.
They miss the bonnet.
They miss the pavement around it.
They only go to the canvas hood and they do that on purpose.
The other thing I've noticed about bird shit on cars is you don't need a tree.
You don't need to park under a tree.
They'll just find you.
They use satellite tracking from the Chinese to literally spot your car.
I hate it.
It smears if you try to get it off very, very early on.
And if you try to get it off once it's dried, it leaves that kind of really annoying jigsaw shaped blob that needs a complete, clean and repolished.
My only other thought about this is when I was nine, I went on the Isle of Wight ferry with my mother and sister and I got shat on.
As soon after they found you, after they lost you when you came off the plane, you'd not vanished.
I've not vanished on the Isle of Wight ferry and it was really disgusting.
I remember this.
I had a stick of rock in my hand and I just heard a black and on my left shoulder it was truly disgusting right into my sweater.
It really ruined the Isle of Wight for me in particular.
It's supposed to be good luck, isn't it?
It's supposed to be good luck.
My parents divorced I think minutes later.
I'm not quite sure that it works out like that.
Chris Cooper, I mean obviously knowing with your level of OCD what it's like when a car gets dirty,
I can imagine what happens when a bird poopes on your car.
When I read this question, I was reminded, this wasn't my joke, it was Jimmy Carr's joke.
When he was asked a question and one of his, you see it on social media,
Jimmy, what would you do if a bird shat on your car?
And he said, well, she wouldn't get a second date.
Talking about the Isle of Wight ferry, in COVID, so people friends of ours down in Cornwall,
they noticed a phenomenon, which was that because there was nobody around,
you couldn't go outside, you could only go out for an hour day to exercise and there were no tourists,
no passers-by.
The seagulls disappeared because there was no scavenging opportunities,
but they mostly came inland.
So apart from this rather eerie sense of sort of almost this pre or post-apocalyptic sense of,
not just because it was COVID, but this sort of eerie silence,
cars generally, for at least for a while, went unshatter upon, at least by seagulls.
And now, obviously, in lots of seaside places around the UK,
I'm sure it's similar in other seagully and seaside places in other parts of the world where people listen to podcasts,
snatching ice creams and blah, blah, blah, sort of, you know, so yeah, seagulls do it.
Yesterday, when we got back in the car at Goodwood in the end of the afternoon,
apart from how much dust collects on your car if you park in the Goodwood car park,
there were a couple of brave souls out in those days, you park their lovely cars,
convertibles with the roof open, thinking that's going to be a cleaning job when you come back,
because it's that very, very fine dust.
Anyway, got back in the car, we're in the sausage.
There was a bigger dollop right on the bonnet.
There you go.
And we'd got to, when we came in, we were sort of,
we were slightly earlier than we were on Saturday, but we were slightly further.
To be an alien or human?
Do you know, I'd like to think, if it was a human,
then I think a swift appointment with their physician would have been in order
to explain the whole content of the deposit.
But when we got into the car park yesterday, we got a really great spot just near the exit.
So we thought, okay, whatever time we go, we'll get straight out rather than our cue of getting out of the field.
Was that you lot waving at me frantically when I left?
Yesterday.
On Saturday?
No, this was on Sunday.
Oh, someone in the sausage was waving at me?
No, we wouldn't have waved at you.
Well, we might have gestured at you.
So I think this bird thought, hey, he thinks he's had a lucky parking spirit.
Haha.
Yes, exactly.
So, yeah, I think there is a deep state conspiracy, avian conspiracy of pooing.
Yes.
I think it's a bit, George Orwell.
I mean, we would love some solutions and some help in the comments about how to deal with...
I mean, don't park under a tree.
I mean, you should never...
I've got...
Because we're always AD.
And sometimes you have no choice than to park under a tree.
This also reminds us why university research needs to be targeted in areas of real life.
Because if someone spent three years, some really clever students spent three years working
out why birds poo on cars and where you should park and gave an issue to some guidance after
that, I think we'd all pay for that research.
Yes.
So, first of all, I think where I live, there are two trees around here, wherever you park
underneath them.
I've been parking around here for 30-odd years.
I know one tree.
If you park underneath it here, you'll need a respray.
There's a particular berry.
There's a berry that tree produces.
And when the birds eat that and they poo on your car, it's so acidic that if you leave
it there for a couple of days, it's going through the lacquer.
It takes the lacquer off the paint.
And I had a Renault press car once that needed respraying on the roof because it was so...
That bird's gizzards must have just been in a terrible state.
So, the tree thing is obvious.
However, last week, another thing I did last week was, and I can't fit it all in, I had
a good car week last week, was that Darra, the brilliant Darra, finally finished the
V10 S85 and V5 engine, right?
And we took it to a rolling road, which we'll be in a film, we're not going to give it away,
but let's just say it did some really quite impressive numbers.
And I came back and he polished it all up.
And I remember, and anyone that lives in a town has this jeopardy, you can either be
convenient and take the space under the tree, or you create inconvenience for yourself when
you drive further away from where you live to find the space that isn't under the tree.
B.
I.e. you consciously choose to save the paintwork of your car.
You then park, and as you park, you look up and think, there is nowhere where a bird
could be resting anywhere near here.
And an hour later, you come out and a bird is shot all over your car.
And it's not shot over the car next to it.
So you do think there's a bird up there that's a massive quarkson fan that doesn't like me
or something, I don't know.
And, but I think there's another side to this.
I think the car was clean, really clean.
And we know that Mag, you know, the old thing your grandma would say to you, well, magpies
like shiny things, they do.
Cars, there's no doubt.
And I bet you this can be proven that very, very clean cars have a reflective quality
to them that definitely tracks birds.
I don't, I don't have the science, but I think if your car is really clean, you're in trouble.
I thought they take CDs when you put them in the garden, you know.
Yeah.
I was like, they do get, you know, when you wake up in the morning as a kid, you know,
in the old days when you didn't have computers and stuff to do, your mate would come around
to your house.
And if you had a bit of a garden within minutes, you would go, let's lob, let's lob stones
at that tree.
That's what birds do.
They meet up in the morning and they go, I bet you can't shit on that.
They'll be 150 feet up and they're doing 80 miles an hour.
What a skill to be able to go, I'm going to, that's Harris's E61M5 there.
I'm going to splatter that because I know I had a really good mackerel dinner last night
and it's going to call Mayhem.
I don't like him anyway.
His podcast is crap and I'm going to make sure I do it all over his car.
Definitely.
Of course it's happening.
Of course it's happening.
I just, I don't believe it's not.
Sometimes you're convinced it's so targeted that you've just cleaned your car.
You've not had a bird pill in your car for weeks.
When you come back, why would there be, unless there are humans running around throwing bags
of bird pill in your car?
Anything I would say is, anything I would say is, when you remain,
removing seagull poo is a skill and it's, there's more grit in there than you realise.
You cannot just wipe it off.
If you wipe it off, you might as well take a Brillo pad to your paper.
If you go in with your finger, then you instantly regret it.
You said that.
Why would you remotely put your, why would you digitise the view?
Because I panic.
I panic.
God, that's, there are lots of gloves.
I used to.
I don't care about the aesthetics of cars really, but I, but around here,
I've got such, I had so much fear from the roof of that car being needed to be re-sprayed.
A couple of years ago, I used, when the, when really bad ones had gone onto the bonnet or something
and I'd been away and they'd cooked in the summer, I'd go out with pads, wads,
a very damp kitchen tissue, leaves them on there for a few hours just to try and lift them off and soak it.
Otherwise, if you do anything with it, it's terrible.
No, you've got to take it back to its liquid form.
Yeah.
Um, so my, my, the internet tells me this, um, when humans have to poop,
we can hold it in because we have control over our anus.
We get here.
In contrast, birds have what's called a cloaca, which is a clack valve.
It's rather, it's rather common in the animal kingdom and ends up serving as an anus, urethra,
and sometimes even a sex organ.
In the end, in the end, they can't keep it closed.
So just like us, they eat and digest, but unlike us, they have no control.
If it makes you feel better, they, they may well be trying to get away from your car,
tragically defecating by accident onto it at the same time.
They're literally scared.
Yeah.
That's it.
They are literally scared.
That's basically a fucking Lancaster.
It's, it's all, it's a, it's a bouncing bomb, isn't it?
They're fucking, that is what they're doing.
It is.
They're just barns wallace of the avian world.
Boom, boom.
But you're, but you're quite right.
When you, when you look around at the ground, you're like, well, there's nothing else here.
There's nothing else.
Apart from on Neil, have you ever had somebody, a bird, somebody?
If you have had somebody shit on your head, maybe that's the story you want to hear another time.
No, no, I haven't, no, I haven't.
I have.
I'll tell you my bird pooing on me story.
This is, this is really good.
I went to Bath.
I bought a Phantom many years ago and I drove it to Bath with a friend.
And I drove into Bath and I parked it in the centre and I got out of the car and it was 2017, 867.
So I was a bit recognizable, you know, top gear, what have you.
And as I got out and walked down the road, a bird shit on my head in such quantity that it covered my entire head and face.
They were waiting for you.
They were following you.
The birds were following you from Bristol along the M4.
It's impossible, it's impossible that that was an accident.
And there was so much of it.
I did not have about me anything that could remove that volume.
So I had to walk into a shop covered in poo and go to the back to a sink and use bog roll to get it off me.
It was incredible, absolutely incredible.
And I looked up, I mean, the bird should have been the size of a donkey to produce that much effluent.
It's a remarkable thing that we see.
The birds joining up as a, what do they call a group of aeroplanes?
It's a squadron.
A squadron.
Well, it's a flock, it's an aerodynamic effect, isn't it?
No, V-shaped, bombing.
We're an hour into this and we've covered two topics.
So we're going to have to cut one of these out or two of these out.
I think the book ended this week's podcast, haven't we?
I'm actually going to get rid of the next one, lads, because I want to do end up displays, which I think is very interesting.
So can we discuss head up displays, yes or no?
Cooper, you can go first on this one.
It's always been no for me.
I don't like the distraction.
It just feels, you know, I've always thought it's a bit like when variable ratio steering was introduced to help people drive.
Which always felt like if you didn't have that, well, I didn't know how much to turn the steering wheel, so I decided to crash instead.
I mean, if you can't drive, don't drive.
And to me, a head up display always felt a bit like that.
You know, the whole world for a century, probably roughly, maybe a bit less, had to survive with, there's a speedometer.
There's a tachometer rev counter to you kids out there and oil and water and temperature fuel gauges.
Why do I need to pretend I'm a fighter pilot?
Which button on the steering wheel releases the missile, or missile, as they would say, in the other case, the shire.
But, but that, the Bentayaga, that we're borrowing the Bentayaga speed, which is an absolute weapon.
So Manish and I, I wouldn't know.
That box of popcorn has been licked to within an inch of life.
It's got plenty more mileage left in it, I can assure you, mate. Don't you worry about that.
So Manish and I spent the whole day driving the car together.
There was a point in the day when Manish realized I wasn't letting him drive.
But the Bentayaga, largely because I haven't had the time, it's just too busy, to find the button or the sub routine, which turns the head up display off.
It's got the help of saying, I've quite liked it in an odd way.
If in the daytime when it's sunny, if you're wearing sunglasses, polarize, you can't see it, which actually I quite like.
But when you have the sat-nav-on, the Bentayaga sat-nav-on, I haven't tried it with carplay, it will come up on the screen in the gun side, the direction.
So I don't think I've completely changed my, so the sausage has a head up the slate, which I don't use.
I remember when I first picked it up in that very excited Christmas Eve, Christmas morning feeling when you pick up a new car.
It's probably the last new car I picked up.
And I drove away from Porsche, Swindon, and the head up display was on.
I had to reverse it back and said, I'm not taking it.
I'm rejecting it. It's got a head up. I didn't quite say that.
I sort of, maybe, is it getting older? I don't think it's getting older.
But I did think, actually, there's a place for it.
So I'm kind of a bit more open-minded about it.
But don't think you're a fighter pilot.
Yeah, I think that's fair enough.
Manage, where do you stand on a head up display? This is really, isn't it? This is nuance for you.
Not that nuance. So the first thing to add is that a day spent with Mr. Cooper in a car begins with,
by the way, you're not driving this because I'm a bit of a funny passenger.
Okay, literally began with that.
Did I say that?
Yeah, exactly.
So we drove from Himmelhemstead to Jaguar Classic.
Then we drove to Gayden. Then we drove all the way back to Himmelhemstead.
And I was a happy passenger.
And then, basically, Chris gave me a 30-second press that button when you do this.
That one, that one, that one.
I've never driven anything this big in my life.
I think 20 minutes of supervised driving might have been helpful, but it's fine.
And then I drove off.
And I'd say it's the first time I've ever driven in a car with a head up display.
And at the beginning, I found it a tiny bit distracting because it was quite bright.
But I assume these things are calibrated by the ambient light level.
And we had very low sun because it was towards the end of the day.
But I'll tell you, I thought it was absolutely, certainly just knowing how fast you're going
with a little digital speedometer is very, very useful.
First of all, this car is a weapon, 630 horsepower.
So this is 200 horsepower more than Lola.
So this is a fast car.
And I noticed on the M1, when I just touched the throttle to go from lane 1 to 2 or 2 to 3,
you would go from 70 to high 80s with barely a touch on the throttle.
Yeah, and I found the head up display very, very useful.
This is the kind of thing that stops you getting a ticket.
But it was most useful when you get into central London because you're not constantly flicking,
especially in a car as deceptively quick as this.
You're not flicking from the road to your speedometer every two seconds and taking your eye off the road.
I was able to just look at the road and travel at a perfect 18, 19 miles an hour all the way through,
right up until a junction at Highgate when a bloke pulled up said,
do you know how fucking big your car is?
Just literally said, fuck off, like that and drove off.
I thought it wasn't very naively, actually, but criminal types.
What can you say?
I think, where do I stand on these things?
I've got to make an admission here.
I'm too short, they don't really work for me.
So I've got two BMWs outside here, both of them have head up displays and I can't see either of them.
They don't offer.
No, because I sit so low in the car, I tend to have the top of the instrument binnacle about where my forehead is.
And I have sunrise or downs, I have quite a narrow aperture that I look out of.
And I sit so low in the car, I'm so small, I can't see them.
So they're pretty useless.
The few times that I've had to test them, I've put the seats up higher so I can use them.
I'm like, Chris, they don't really work for me because they'd only work if I could keep them as a constant reminder of what I'm doing.
And I didn't have to constantly look at them.
But I've never found one that actually sits in my line of sight, so the speedometer or whatever the information is always there with me.
I always have to constantly look at it.
And the moment you have to look at it, you might as well just look at the clocks.
It's sort of where I'm at with them.
I think they are just, I mean, if you can have a big flashing, there's a couple that quite, the BMWs where they, if you have the speed limit and you're above the speed limit in a 20 zone and it starts flashing.
And that can be really useful.
Yeah.
But otherwise, no, I think that in fact, if we were to pose the question, what are the most overrated optional extras on the car, that would be high on my list, I think.
What do you think, Nick Lippard?
We're putting it on the list immediately.
I was thinking about this about last week, because I drove a car with it.
And I thought, oh, I remember that.
It's all a bit sort of 2009, isn't it, a head-up display?
Or whenever they came out, we were all very excited.
I was going to ask that question.
What was the first car that a head-up display appeared on?
I don't know. We'll find out.
What's the BMW?
I think it was an E60.
The first one I saw it was an E65 series.
I think an American car had it 10 years earlier.
We'll see that in the comments.
People will answer and we'll be wrong and they'll be right.
I remember getting a car, I don't know, until 11, 2012 with it.
Because I like everything on.
If I bought it, if it's an option, I'll try and find a way to use it.
Because it's just the more lights and bells and dashboard shit going on the better for me.
And I remember sort of crawling over the top of the dash to look.
How does this thing work?
And try to look inside.
And you look inside and you think, you know, you do think you're like an F-22 pilot with this thing.
Very exciting.
And then you look down and it's like a fucking candle.
It's so shit when you look inside.
It's like an Atari handheld Game Boy thing from the 70s.
You know, Defender that you bought from Argus with your mum for Christmas.
It's actually quite disappointing technology.
Can I ask you, Neil?
Can you tell me about this car?
Because I've got a version of that head of display and a car I've got.
You've got quite a bit about describing this car.
Is it coming home to stay or is it not coming home to stay?
Well, I'm, no, the car, that is coming home to stay.
Is it? Okay.
Can we talk about what the car is or not?
Well, it's got an M, but a different one than yours.
But I'm talking about the Project 8.
There's the Project 8.
And they are a bit disappointing.
I mean, frankly, in my new role as chief executive of a car company,
particularly designed and targeted at short people now,
I've got my first brilliant idea.
I'm going to get rid of the dashboard completely
to attract all of the Chris Harris's of the world.
And I'm going to...
My head up display is actually going to be everything on the windscreen.
So you don't need the...
You don't need two sets of information.
Everything is going to be...
And then you've got a bigger windscreen with better visibility.
I'm actually going to get rid of the dashboard.
Interesting.
So you're looking at the front crash beam.
That'd be nice.
Yeah, so my automotive consultancy company,
where we solve difficult problems for all car companies,
that's the first one we're going to do.
It is a bit disappointing, but I always leave it on
because it's just exciting, isn't it?
That it's there.
I like your question because you've said something quite interesting
about what you want it all on.
If you get into a car and you discover that the massaging seats are on...
Put it on.
I can't stand that.
So distracting.
Turn it off.
The cornering seats on my M5 are good
because they tried so hard with that.
But there's a delay.
So you get into the corner and suddenly they decided to wake up.
Halfway into the corner,
suddenly you get shoved to one side because they're quite powerful.
Everything is on.
Right, I've tried to tell you about these head up displays three times,
but people keep stepping on my toes.
Shut up for a minute, all of you.
Jesus.
Right, here we go.
The first production car to feature a head up display
was the 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme.
Wow, yes.
The system was introduced for the 1988 Cutlass Supreme
and later in 1989 on the Pontiac Grand Prix.
Nissan was a close follower introducing a head up display
on the 1988 Nissan Sylvia S13 in Japan.
So BMW were 18 years behind.
That Oldsmobile, was it 1988?
That would have been top-gunded, that.
Of course it would have been.
85, 86.
Everyone wanted to be Tom Cruise.
86.
Right, we're going to move on to...
What time did now? 10 pass.
We're going to go straight to our two car garage.
So, it's a jaguar two car garage today,
as you can imagine after the week we've had.
It's been a very, very groundery week.
You've spent your whole career at Jaguar,
starting in the finance department,
working your way through the business,
and now you're a very senior manager
with a very clear understanding of the Jaguar DNA.
You've been intimately involved in the creation
of the new strategy of vision for Jaguar.
You're touching 60 and you decided to treat yourself,
part of your work for the last few years.
What was that?
Sorry, that was me, my wife.
I was ensuring that the new car has all the best bits
of what makes a brilliant Jaguar.
So, you're cashing in one of your ices,
and as well as doing the long awaited extension on the house
and a long holiday in California for car week,
you've got 100K to buy what you see as the two best Jaguar cars
that anyone could tell they were a Jaguar,
even if they were blindfolded.
The only criteria is one must be a convertible,
and the other has to have room
to take the grandchildren out for a Sunday lunch.
So, that is, and Neil Clifford definitely didn't write that.
He says he did, but there's no way he wrote that.
So, Neil can go first then, actually,
given that he's been honest about that.
Okay, unfortunately, your three car garages
are all going to be disappointing,
because I'm going to take all of the thunder
and all of the excitement,
because my logic is magnificent on this.
Come on then.
You need two engines.
You're sat there with your notebook
and you're paying on a Sunday.
You've watched the Antiques Roadshow
and you're going to be like, right,
what is my strategy here?
I've got whatever underground.
I need the straight six engine.
I need that engine.
And I need the V12.
So, for Jaguar, I'm starting with engines,
but then you've also written on your notepad
grace, space, pace.
So, you need the Jaguar DNA on that bit.
And I'm not going E-Type A,
because not enough money,
deliberately not enough money really,
to do the obvious.
Too obvious in my view,
even though the E-Type is magnificent,
a bit obvious.
So, I'm going XK120.
And I've found a lovely one,
because these things, unfortunately,
for these sellers of these cars,
the people that want them are slowly dying.
So, they are going down at about five grand a month.
Five years ago, ten years ago,
a magnificent one was 120 grand,
130 grand, 140 grand.
It's probably going to make my choices now,
very quickly, just so I can...
So, I'm going, because actually,
the beginning really, for me of Jaguar,
or actually just Jaguar, is XK120.
It was, you know, ten years, whatever,
before E-Type, magnificent, bloody thing.
Ten years before E-Type.
It created the C-Type, it created the D-Type.
It really was the sperm that created the DNA of Jaguar.
And you've got to go spats.
Let's just be clear, you have to go spats.
So, there's 75 grand you can get these cars for now.
And there's only about three buyers for these cars
that are left to living.
So, you can go and offer him 65 grand for that.
So, that's wonderful.
And then, of course, you've got to go V12.
I've always had.
You can argue that Series 2 and 3 are prettier,
but for me, a boy of the 70s,
walking to school and seeing one of these things,
seeing that V12 badge, the Series 1 XJ,
in white, in white, look at that.
It's 12 grand.
Of course, you're going to have to spend 12 grand on it
to actually get it home, probably,
because it will overheat and it will be a disaster
and the electrics are shit.
But you know what?
It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
V12, automatic.
Join the AA.
Get the top level of AA.
There's probably a secret platinum level of AA.
I think there is where the chief executive of the AA,
Yakov Adler.
Yeah, yeah.
You can do all of that.
Can we not have our great British driver?
He's regularly sponsored by the AA.
It seems like a very good idea.
He really should.
That is a conversation which I have started,
but now we're starting it in the public domain, Yakov.
I apologise for my colleagues.
Well, he needs to cough up.
He needs to say that.
At the very least, we need 10 AA vans on hand
for the inevitable on the day, don't we?
Well, it'd be very busy from an income perspective.
It'd be a successful day for him, I'm sure.
I know that the president of the AA,
Edmund King, who's just a wonderful British motoring
ambassador in store water and voice.
Edmund, if you're listening to this,
and he lives not far from here.
Is he coming?
Let's have a cup of tea.
Yeah.
So, XK120, XJ Series 1, V12, unbeatable.
Is that a V12 of that white car?
Yeah.
Is he hell?
OK, yeah, that's pretty good.
Let's go to Manish.
Well, for me, the key and operative word here
was grandchildren.
OK, and I'm assuming they're small.
So, just a little story that you guys know.
And when I was eight, I went to the Earl's Court...
No, nine.
I went to the Earl's Court Motor Fair.
Turned out to be the very last one.
And I saw the very first Jaguar XJS.
It was red, and I remember it was 9,217 pounds.
I saw the stickers.
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever got close to.
You couldn't get close to the Lamborghinis,
but you could go right up to the Jaguar.
Touch it, put your head inside,
and I was just genuinely gobsmacked by this car.
And you just think about the kind of iterations
of Jaguar that had been.
You can go down the saloon route, so the XJs,
but, you know, you had the E-types, the D-types,
the C-types, the XK120.
This was obviously the sort of two-door iteration
on the Jaguar branch.
And I thought they'd...
It just looked Italian and exotic.
It just didn't look like a Jaguar.
It was so exotic.
You know, I rather fell in love with them.
So my convertible, I found it was rather expensive.
It's got very few miles on it.
1990 XJS Blue Automatic.
Great.
I think it's in Belgium, and it's 70,000 euros,
because it's done 9,000...
It's done 9,000 kilometres.
It's a mint car.
Wow.
Has no back seats at all.
This is your convertible.
And wire wheels, the whole thing.
And the other key details, I really like the front headlights
to be that hexagonal headlight rather than the double spots.
Yeah.
I think the hexagonal headlights look better.
And my second car is a 1987 XJS Hardtop.
But it does have back seats in the back,
just big enough for a brace of grandchildren.
You're buying two XJS's.
Exactly.
I'm going for the double S1 convertible.
I think they...
Double denim.
Both V12s.
One right hand drive, one left hand drive.
That's good.
Wire wheels.
I would just...
I'd get out of bed in the morning and just look at them
from the front as I press my electric garage door.
That is what I would do.
I love that car.
Two XJS's.
I love the confidence.
Chris Cooper.
So Neil is often wrong.
But on this one, he's dead right.
What would be an XK120 with spats.
There's a lovely...
There's a little bit of video coming out shortly
of those fantastic cars that I got to drive
at Mr Motion the other week.
Pendine motors are very, very kindly produced,
provided their own car.
It's a 120 with lots of very, very lovely,
quite subtle upgrades.
Synchromesh gearbox, limited slip diff,
300 Jaguars under the bonnet.
It's the most fun...
It just reminds you why you love driving
and what a Jaguar should be.
So that's going to be one of the cars
at the Great British Jaguar Day.
But I found on car and classic in the classifieds,
they're beautiful, grey over red,
restored XK120, non-wire wheels with spats,
which I thought was absolutely stunning.
But the other one, I have to say,
even I've impressed myself with this one.
It is.
And actually, I think it's sort of
a bit like what Mr Harris has got.
It is a next-JR Super V8 long-wheelbase.
Oh, that's good.
Sake.
Which is just...
And when Manish and I were at Classic,
Jaguar Classic at Rytton on Thursday,
we happened to see her late Majesty's Daimler...
Oh, I was hoping someone would bring this up.
Her late Majesty's Daimler Super V8 long-wheelbase,
which her personal car is a picture
on the little stand of it of her mage
driving the Daimler Super V8,
literally just peering over the steering wheel.
Which model? Was it a 350 or a 350?
350.
Yeah.
And the best bit is the armrest in the middle.
Yeah.
Guess what?
Yeah.
Space for the handbag.
So we're going to have that car, Majesty's personal car.
She drove that.
Eat your heart out, Bentley.
Oh, nice.
So that's what I would do.
This is proving to be annoying,
because it doesn't often happen this way,
but I've chosen exactly the same XK120 as Neil chose
from the same dealer.
It's because I like them in dark colours with spats,
and it's an OTS, an Open 2 CETA,
which I think is the best looking of them.
And I have gone for an X350,
because I don't think it quite passes the...
You could recognise it was a Jaguar criteria
just by having a blindfold on.
I think it probably doesn't...
It misses the mark a bit there.
But that increasingly,
I think it's a really handsome car, the 350,
particularly the XJR,
better looking now than it was when it was new to me.
Yes, yes.
If you were going to do a retro,
rest-o-mod XJR, it would look like that.
It's really clever.
And of course, they're all aluminium.
They cost us shit-ton to make.
It's a very, very stiff, lightweight, rust-resilient shell.
So if you buy the one I've got, the 300 series,
there's a bit of rock, but these cars don't rock.
They'll be around for a long, long time.
Quite un-Jaguar-like.
So, yeah, I've chosen two cars
that the other buggers have chosen already,
which is quite unlike me.
That was my 350 actually.
It was an auction that's coming on car and classic in...
Yeah, I saw that.
That's really good.
That's tomorrow's XJR in a dark blue.
It's a really nice car.
Everyone have a look at that.
I want to do one more shout-out to car and classic,
because normally you should judge an organisation by its leader,
and Tom, who is Mr. Car and Classic,
it's his business, he arrived at Goodwood.
Well, no, he arrived at the car and classic sales
gathering on Tuesday, having towed his Peugeot 405 Super Touring,
which he pretty much repaired by hand,
from where he lives in the middle of Italy
in a 100,000-mile Range Rover on an open trailer.
He towed it all the way from Italy
due to the Super Touring demonstration at Goodwood on Saturday,
whereupon a belt came off of a pump,
and I think he just hung around and stood there
in his very nasty ovals, but judge a man by his actions.
That's a really enthusiast.
Anyone that tows a car from Italy
when they could probably stick it in a transport or something
is our kind of idiot.
So, well done, Tom.
He was also, on the Saturday evening,
he was under the car himself, trying to fix that pulley.
He was, well done, Tom.
He was looking head-up display, I think.
You think he always lost it, he dropped it.
Managed to give us a piece of music.
Managed to give us a piece of music.
Oh, the first film I ever directed in 2017,
it was called Heroes,
and we tried to buy this piece of music.
It was just too expensive,
but I thought about it when we were at Jaguar.
It's called Tutto e Bellissimo.
Everything is wonderful,
and it's by a guy called Alberto Giuroli,
and you will love it.
It is the breath of Jaguar for me.
Very, very good.
Neil Clifford.
The only album to put on
when you're picking up your brothers from Portsmouth
at 7 a.m. to drive to Goodwood,
and I got this muse love of this band from my brothers,
is The Who.
And of course, if you are called Trevor, Graham, Roger, and Neil,
you are going to like The Who,
because their names are so 70s that there's no other band.
And Who's Next, best album.
I'm not going to go for the obvious ones.
Behind Blue Eyes, I've probably said it before.
Great, and we sang along.
It was just a special, special moment.
Wonderful, like it.
And what car were you in?
It may well have been a Rolls Royce Phantom.
Had to be.
You bastard.
Fucking brilliant, I love it.
Right, off you go, Chris Cooper.
I might have picked this before,
but the day we had at Jaguar on Thursday,
my little trip down to Sussex on Friday evening,
late afternoon evening with my boys and their chum Luke.
Blue Skies, good company.
Amazing cars.
Got to be E.L.O. and Mr. Blue Sky.
Yeah, OK.
I drove, this is interesting actually for me.
So my normal music streaming service
stopped working on me on Tuesday morning,
I think because one of my wonderful offspring
had decided they wanted an eighth device for it to be on.
And I was first on the list, so I got Hooved off.
Loved off, yeah.
You get that as well.
You phone all of them and go,
who fucking got me thrown off the streaming service?
Yeah.
But I did the rounds, no one put their hands up.
Until I think my audience said,
oh, I think that might have been me.
So I was left with what I had on my phone.
You know, I had some old albums that were on Apple iTunes
that I owned or something.
So you're frantically trying to find stuff
that you can listen to or an old audio book.
And I know that Manage is a massive Duran Duran fan.
I am, I like Duran Duran.
I think they might be the best pop group from that era.
They're fabulous.
But if you listen to the intro to Rio,
it's incredibly ambitious because it makes,
it's one of those bits of music that makes no sense,
then suddenly makes sense.
So if you listen to the first 30 seconds of Rio,
it might be genius actually.
You know, it's produced, I think, by Colin Thurston.
And what they have is reverse synthesizers,
making that very weird clanging noise.
And then suddenly John Taylor with the bass guitar,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
It's such a brilliant beginning.
Really clever.
So yeah, I thought a bit of Duran Duran, Rio.
Genius.
I want to, I also want to circle one thing.
I posted a film of the 9-Eleven SC on my channel.
We've, we had some good early access to that.
And I really enjoyed the project.
The car, you know, I'm being sincere.
I had no idea it would drive that well.
How you can take the roof off a steel-shelled car
and make it handle like that.
I do not know.
There are geniuses over there.
At the end of the film, there's a tracking shop.
And someone's following the car.
And it's a fairly aggressive slide at Weissach,
which sort of gets gathered up a few inches
before you hit something.
And the question is, what car is getting that shot
if you're doing that in a GT3, or sorry,
in an SC in front of you?
And the answer is this.
It was a PDK992 normal GT3 in a special-order color yellow.
And it's been driven by Mr. Andreas Preulinger.
I needed the boss to be chasing me so he could keep up.
So there you go.
That's the answer to that.
And I'll post it on Instagram as well.
I think that's all business covered.
Have I missed anything out here now?
I think we're all right.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, got one other thing.
This is really bad.
Instagram had a glitch on Saturday night.
I got back and I thought,
I want to post a picture of the little alpha suit
because it had a bad day.
And I'd had a really good time chatting to Tiff
because Tiff is in the other alpha.
And he's my hero.
He's the reason why I do this.
See, I want to be Tiff.
I'm not as good as Tiff.
I've got a better suntan than him.
And I thought I'd post a photo of me and Tiff.
And it went black and white on my Instagram.
And everyone thought I was posting a photo
because Tiff had passed away.
But my old muck of Paddy McGinnis yesterday
was all over his media going,
if I post a photo, it goes black and white.
And it did.
I don't know why.
I think it was a glitch for a few hours
where Instagram took away the color on the photograph.
So I apologize to everyone that is scared.
Tiff is in ruder health than you could imagine.
So he'll take you on anything.
But I do apologize if I scared you.
And on that note, I'd like to say a hearty goodbye
from all of us.
From Neil Clifford, Managed Family, Chris Cooper.
You'll hear from us next week.
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About this episode
Goodwood springtime banter kicks off the show, then the gang dives into a standout Jaguar week: Jaguar Classic’s jaw-dropping collection, a track day at Gaydon where Chris and friends sample multiple Jaguars, and a first drive of Jaguar’s new electric model—praised for ride/steering and “Jaguar-ness,” but questioned on brand messaging and market timing. The episode also covers Goodwood members meeting highlights, a long-running bird-poo-on-cars debate, head-up display opinions, and a “two-car Jaguar garage” fantasy roundup.
