The Land Rover Defender is a tough off-road vehicle made for work and towing. Here, they’re talking about whether a Defender should have a tow bar, since it’s the kind of car people use to pull things.
A tow bar is the hitch on the back of a car that lets you attach a trailer or tow something. Without it, you can’t tow safely or legally in most setups.
A Haynes manual is a popular do-it-yourself car repair book. They’re joking that the manual would use a certain old-fashioned word for the connector parts.
The Volvo 240 DL is an older Volvo sedan. Here it’s mentioned because the police thought the driver was using it like a tractor, not a normal road car.
The 1968 Ferrari 312 is a famous old Ferrari race car from Formula 1. It’s known for its V12 engine and for looking distinctive, and the episode highlights Derek Bell driving one again after many years.
Oversteering is when the back of the car slips outward and the car turns more than you intended. They’re saying the car felt like it was doing that constantly in every gear.
Car
Volvo 745 estate
The Volvo 745 estate is a big, old-school station wagon from Volvo. Here they’re treating it like a fun, fast hill-climb car, which is surprising because it’s not the kind of car you’d normally expect to be “sporty.”
Part
Sonax lip
A “lip” is a small front body piece that sticks out a bit lower than the bumper. It’s usually added to change the car’s airflow and make it look more aggressive.
Car
Williams FW 18
The Williams FW 18 was a Formula 1 car from the late 1990s, built for high-level aerodynamic grip and race pace. Mentioning it in the context of “incredible” hill driving is a comparison point for how serious and fast the cars feel on the climb.
“Damon” is Damon Hill, a former Formula 1 World Champion. They’re saying it’s been about 30 years since he won the title, and he seemed really moved to be back doing it.
Stefan Johansson is a Swedish former Formula 1 driver. In this segment, he’s driving an F1 car up the hill, and they’re impressed by how well he still does it.
A hill climb is a race where cars go up a steep course, usually timed rather than side-by-side. It’s a format that makes handling and control feel especially important.
The Ford GT40 is a famous race car from the 1960s that was built for endurance racing at Le Mans. They’re talking about the 1966 Le Mans-winning versions, and how amazing they sounded and looked together.
Hay bales are used as a simple barrier to help protect drivers if something goes wrong. They also make the track look more intense and fast in the background.
EV means the car runs on electricity from a battery. Instead of a gas engine, it uses an electric motor to move the car.
Term
key of E6
It sounds like they’re referring to different stages of a prototype project. The key point is that the engineer knows the project’s “phase one” and “phase two” details and why the development work matters.
Term
phase two
This is the next step after the first development stage. It usually means the prototype gets updated and tested again before moving on.
They’re talking about the car being built and tested in stages. “Phase one” is the first step of development before later improvements in the next phase.
“DNA strand” is a metaphor for the specific design/engineering traits that define a car’s identity. Here, the speaker says the engineer knows why those traits matter, suggesting the prototype is being tuned to preserve the brand’s core characteristics.
A braking point is where the driver decides to start slowing down before a turn. Hit it right and the car turns better; hit it wrong and it can be too fast or too slow into the corner.
A chicane is a twisty section made of quick turns that makes you slow down. It’s designed to be a handling test, especially for braking and turning control.
Weight distribution means how the car’s weight is split front-to-rear. That split changes how the car feels when you turn and brake—some setups feel more stable, others turn in more sharply.
Here, “lock” means how much the steering is turned. Turning it a lot can help you go around a tight corner, but if you do it too aggressively the car may not grip well.
The Renault 5 Turbo is a small, turbocharged performance Renault. Here, the host is saying the original engine isn’t great, but the electric motor makes the car feel much better.
The alternator is the part that keeps your car’s battery charged while the engine is running. If it fails, the battery drains and the car’s electronics can start shutting down.
“Battery changes” here means swapping out car batteries repeatedly to keep the cars running when the electrical system isn’t reliably charging. The host describes doing this “military style” during a long drive to get the cars back.
A “tapeworm tablet” is medicine you give a dog to kill tapeworm parasites. The host brings it up because getting the dog ready for travel involves paperwork and a vet visit.
This is a Ferrari 360 Spider, a special mid-engine Ferrari with a roof that can open. The extra “x288 KRK” is likely the specific UK press car’s identifier/plate for that exact car.
A “press car” is a car that the manufacturer gives to journalists so they can photograph and review it. It’s usually a specific example used for media coverage.
Term
chrome limb
This is the physical printing template used to make the magazine picture. It’s part of the old-school photo printing process—turning a photo into something the magazine could reproduce accurately.
Term
hot pressed
This refers to an older printing method where heat is used to press and set the image. The point is that the magazine still used a template/negative process to get the final picture.
It sounds like a company rule that said you could only drive the car up to about 500 miles. If you went over, you’d break the rules, so they sometimes had it brought back by trailer.
“Trailer it back” means putting the car on a trailer and hauling it home instead of driving. They did it to avoid going over the mileage limit for the company car.
Car
Citroën DS
The Citroën DS is a legendary older French car. They mention it because Max’s family were big Citroën fans, and it shows how long that love goes back.
Car
Citroën CX
The Citroën CX is a famous older French car. The hosts bring it up because Max’s family really loved Citroën cars, and it helps explain their “French car” background.
Vinyl interior means the car’s seats and trim are covered in a plastic-like material. It’s usually chosen because it’s tough and easier to wipe clean than fabric.
Term
roof that would roll right back
That phrase means the car’s roof could open up and slide back. It’s like having a convertible, so you get more fresh air while driving.
Term
gears that came through the dashboard
They mean the gear shifter was set up in a way that you could see it coming through the dashboard. It’s a different layout than the usual shifter on the center console.
“600 cc” is how big the engine is, measured in cubic centimeters. A smaller number usually means a smaller engine, which can still be fun—especially on local roads.
Body roll is how much a car tilts or leans when you go around a corner. If it rolls a lot, it can feel a bit wobbly, but some older cars do this and still feel fun.
Term
wasp got in
They’re describing a funny moment where a wasp got into the car because the roof was partly open. It turns into a chaotic situation, but it’s really about the open-air design.
The Citroën 2CV is a small, simple car that became famous for being unusual and easy to live with. People often remember it as a first car that made them love cars. The podcast is describing that kind of early excitement.
The Porsche 911 is a sports car made by Porsche. It’s known for being very quick and for having a unique feel when you drive it. People talk about it a lot because there are many versions over the years.
Term
G50
G50 is the Porsche 911’s internal gearbox generation code used for certain 1980s 911 models. It’s a shorthand enthusiasts use to identify which transmission variant a car has, which can matter for parts fitment and feel.
The Ford Escort is a common, everyday small car from Ford’s lineup. In this story it’s important because it was the host’s first car and sparked his interest.
Term
L mark
“L” here means a simpler, lower-trim version of the Escort. “Mark” is Ford’s way of numbering different versions of the same model over time.
The “angle of roll” is how much the car tilts when it turns. Saying “45 degrees” is basically describing a very dramatic lean to make the cornering look intense.
The “apex” is the inside point of a corner—the closest part to the curb/inside. Drivers aim for it to make the turn efficient, and ads often show the car there to look fast.
The Ford Sierra is a Ford car from the 1980s. A “3-door” version means it has three doors instead of four. The podcast is referencing it as part of the Sierra story people read about in magazines.
The Ford Sierra Cosworth is a fast, performance-focused version of the Ford Sierra from the 1980s. The hosts are talking about how magazines made it sound incredibly quick and exciting back then.
“Drive Stories” is a type of car magazine article where writers talk about what it was like to drive a particular car. In this case, they’re referencing an old magazine story about the Ford Sierra Cosworth.
The Sierra 3-door is a version of the Ford Sierra with three doors. The podcast is talking about an article that highlighted the Sierra Cosworth and how fast it was said to be. It’s basically a reminder of how people discussed these cars back then.
A touring car is a race car that’s based on a normal road car. The hosts are using the term to suggest the Sierra Cosworth felt like a serious race-bred machine.
Term
Ricciaro seats
This is a named type/brand of car seat. It’s the kind of thing car fans mention because the seat design can feel very different from standard seats.
The BMW E46 M3 is a famous BMW sports car from the 1990s/early 2000s. It’s known for a lively engine and a very engaging feel to drive. Here, the host is saying it felt so right that he couldn’t think of an easy way to improve it.
The glove box is the small storage compartment in the front of the car, usually on the passenger side. The host is describing a situation where money was left there as part of the trip.
“On-board” means video filmed from inside the race car. It helps you see what the driver is doing—like where they steer and when they brake—rather than just watching the car from outside.
The Porsche 928 is an older Porsche that was built more like a comfortable grand tourer, not a lightweight sports car. In this segment, the host says they like looking at the 928 and even owning them, but they don’t enjoy driving it—especially comparing the manual versus automatic versions.
The Aston Martin Lagonda is a luxury car made by Aston Martin. It’s known for having a very distinctive look compared with many other luxury cars. The podcast is mentioning it because it stood out when it was seen around that time.
The Porsche 924 is an older Porsche model that was meant to be a more affordable way into the brand. Here, the host is talking about the U.S.-spec version being weaker and less satisfying than the European one.
“American 924” means the version sold in the U.S. It can be tuned differently than the European one, often making less power—like the host says here.
Term
95 horsepower
Horsepower is a number that describes how much power the engine makes. Here it’s used to show the U.S. Porsche 924 had less power than the European one.
This is a Porsche 911 GT3 from the 997.2 generation. It’s built to feel very precise and “race-car like,” and the 997.2 version is a specific update of that 911 era.
This is the Porsche 944 S2, a more developed version of the 944. The 944 is a different kind of Porsche than the 911, and the S2 is especially known for its nicer interior and updated look.
It means the engine has four cylinders. More cylinders usually isn’t the point here—the speaker is saying this four-cylinder Porsche felt like a big deal.
The Volkswagen Corrado is a sporty VW coupe, and the “2.7” is the engine size of a specific version. The hosts bring it up to compare it with a Porsche and talk about what people wanted from the badge and the car.
An airbag is a safety cushion that inflates during a crash to help protect you. Here, the host is talking about how the airbag adds weight and affects how the car feels to drive.
Turbo lag is the momentary delay before the turbo really starts working. So when you press the gas, the car may feel slow to respond, and then the boost hits.
Boost is the extra “push” from the turbo that helps the engine make more power. The host is saying the strongest turbo effect happens only in a small engine-speed range.
Traction control helps prevent the wheels from spinning when you accelerate on slippery or low-grip surfaces. If a car has no traction control, you have to be more careful with throttle to avoid losing grip.
The Renault Clio 182 is a sporty “hot hatch” version of the Clio. It’s known for feeling quick and lively, and the host is basically saying the Porsche couldn’t beat it on a road.
A steering wheel swap is a common interior modification, but it can also be part of a broader “feel” upgrade when paired with suspension and steering changes. In this context, it’s mentioned as part of a conversion that makes the car drive much better after the original setup was disappointing.
“Turbo S” is Porsche’s name for a more powerful, higher-spec turbo model. Here it’s used to describe how a modified car ends up feeling closer to that kind of performance.
Suspension is what helps the wheels stay in contact with the road and controls how the car rides and handles. The host is saying the suspension changes are a big reason the car drives much better now.
The BMW E30 is an older BMW 3 Series from the 1980s. It’s famous with car fans for being fun to drive and for having lots of parts and upgrades available.
The exhaust pipe is the tube that carries the engine’s exhaust gases out of the car. The host is pointing out that the listing shows a notable exhaust detail.
The Peugeot 205 GTI is a classic 1980s “hot hatch” that’s famous for being fun to drive. Here they’re talking about whether the 1.6 or the stronger 1.9 version is the one to buy.
The Volkswagen Golf is a popular small car meant for everyday driving. It’s known for being practical and widely used. The podcast is mentioning it as one of the important cars from the 1980s.
The Peugeot 205 GTI is a sporty version of the Peugeot 205. It’s a small car that was made to feel quick and fun, not just practical. The podcast is calling it one of the standout cars from the 1980s.
Term
Phase 1 interior
“Phase 1” is a way collectors talk about early versions of a car when the interior design changed. They’re wondering if you can find (or swap) the early-style interior on a later version.
LIVE
a chuckle some episode 96 of the Chris Harris and friend podcast well it's a
car podcast it's not just a podcast it's the car podcast and it's this week it's
celebrating Damon Hills 1996 victory in that Williams Murray getting choked up
or I mean just history and it's good to see Damon getting lauded at Goodwood
have to say I saw the pictures of a very busy very hot good but the only thing
I saw of it that I felt jealous of not seeing was Damon the rest of it frankly
you can keep in the Sun and the Sweat I was down near Bergerac enjoying a
wonderful cognacs and almanacs I was quite happy down there so let's first of
all move to our agenda manage move your move your camera down now so you can
show what we're wearing look at that we're both wearing the 996 t-shirt look
at that fandabby dosing for those of us you that don't have a
camera we've just shown off F bleep bleep X K Bergeracons probably Bitcoin by
996 t-shirt things you've done in cars this week good on you good news it's
good it has to be good news I know so let's start with Chris Cooper who for
some reason calling himself peter shilton on our internal mastering services I
don't know why we were discussing earlier the relative height difference
between Diego Maradona and Peter shilton the famous hand of God or as a famous
beer manufacturer has transposed it this week hand of dog and Maradona is five
foot five inches tall and I looked on Wikipedia earlier and it sort of said
he's got two positions and I rather actually said oh midfielder and cheat
for those these two positions anyway God rest his soul how tall is Peter
shilton six foot six so actually the height difference between you and I is
greater yes it is yeah we used to race the car together if I got in it and Chris
had been driving it it was like getting in my dad's car yeah I was little because
I couldn't reach the pedals yeah so at this week I'm gonna start by I had a
lovely week of really really enjoyable joyous thing in a car but I'm gonna
preference it and set it up by saying has any of us ever seen a Land Rover
Defender without a tow bar is it illegal to have a Land Rover Defender and not
have a tow bar on it I'm sure all those urban ones don't have anything I suppose
they do but the point being I was down in Cornwall the weekend on a sort of
slightly long weekend beautiful and I had to tow a little dingy and I loved
it I loved towing there's something so satisfying because you're doing something
it's work you're taking something useful from one place to another so it can be
even more useful you know what you're doing is you're applying the Swiss army
knife attitude to life which is when you when you bought that Swiss army knife
that was unnecessarily thick the one that was like massively thick yeah you'd go
and fight you'd get the most obscure tool and find the thing that you could do
stuff too with that tool highly stolen my thunder because that was exactly what
I was going to say sorry sorry we'll cut this up that's exactly right it's the
joy because I spent the rest of the weekend asking people to open your
toner thing that dingy of yours is at the top of the village hey I could tow
that for you I've got a lightboard not sure we need a lightboard it's quite
small dingy don't tell anyone but I've got it all the pins on the little light
socket you know that thing that's sort of the really there's a
spring-loaded cap you have to lift up yeah it probably used to be called the
female end yeah of the arrangement yeah and the Haynes manual yeah not sure we
can call it that anymore yes okay for those watching in black and white you
can work out the little gesture that mr. Harris had just made so what the Haynes
manual would have said is the female end of the arrangement of plugging the
socket into the for the lightboard when I was growing up and we went caravanning
holidays I always had my brother and I had the job of hooking and unhooking the
light socket thing from the caravan it was always impossible to do because of
the spring loading and it's quite hard and never quite hard to grab it and pull
it out I'm not going to go only fans like I did like last week don't worry
so I spent the rest of the weekend looking
the best thing is that if I said to you describe inserting the socket into the
receptive part of a trailer in a really smarty way you'd go you would say it in
them you'd say it like an accountant would if I then asked you to write a
filthy story for only fans you'd basically give me Beatrix Potter wouldn't
you it's weird isn't I mean I don't something something's gone the wires have
got crossed somewhere when I when I have a beer in my hand I didn't have a beer
in my hand last week there was something joyous about I did something I barely
known the village was sort of hand towing a boat on a trailer I said I could do
that for you I could say that and the mischief and mayhem but sort of the
sense of feel good because some people quite appreciated it because there are
quite a few hills in the village so I could turn up the hill I could and I
the best bit when you get to sort of a field where you're gonna
leave the trailer they say all because your defenders got quite a big turning
circle will you be able to turn no no I won't need to turn in the field I can
back it through the gate how good does that feel being able to back a trailer
through a gate through a narrow opening
I'd well I will say is this is that the deep deep population the transient it
has to be say population some more probably already thought you were quite
weird and now they think you're even weirder isn't towing great it was that
until you're driving a 40 ton arctic at which point towing is not great you can
do that I mean horrible I'm genuinely surprised you had the patients and the
organization and presence of mind to get through all of that so you've got an
hgv class one haven't you yeah but I I only did it because I'd signed a
contract with the BBC and it's part of my contract if I had if I could have got
out of it I would have it's fucking awful good thing to have that but it is
but the towing towing is great fun up to a certain point when it gets really big
it's not so much fun I don't think but towing is like towing a 25 foot 30 foot
speedboat with something big and powerful it's really good I like that
that's good yeah because it's in the UK like lots of parts of Europe it's
harvest time right now the hot weather means that the harvest is early this
year and hay making has been quite a big thing has been obviously quite a lot of
Sun so quite a lot of hay and it's all been done it reminded me that you I think
it's I'd be really embarrassed my wife's cool me Lynn if I get this wrong you
can drive a tractor on the road at the age of 16 yeah you can and I asked the
question of her this morning because we met one of the ladies who young laser
works on the farm who's coming down in one of the tractors and back didn't have
a trailer on it but had a big mower on it and backed it up into one of the
passing places only really really neatly mr. hat what have you what have
you got I'm sorry I've just had this by my death for ages I've just realized it
I looked at when that's telescopic and it opens it's like really really long and
I thought it and it's just totally blame my mind it's been sitting next to this
computer for ages and I've been wondering what it is sorry carry on the good
news is that I think Britain is at its best when you can see young people 16
years old driving functional bringing the crops in fueling the food chain making
the wheels of agriculture the countryside commerce work from the age of 16 doing
a great job so I think we should celebrate that yeah rather than just
driving on the road when you shouldn't have been do you think if you were
sitting if you were driving let's say a what would I have described something as
a tractor if you were sitting in a vehicle that was like a Volvo 240 DL you
16 years old it was around harvest time and the police stopped you and they said
this is a car not a tractor and you said I've got a copy of car magazine where
Steve Cropby described the handlers being like a tractor would you get away
with it I think any jury would let you off yeah okay fair enough manage what
have you done this week I went to festival of speed on Sunday and we'll
guess a Bentley so huge thank you to Ben and Kristoff and it was very warm and
it was very parched unless you were in Bentley hospitality in which case it
was just very well lubricated and you were very well fed and the whole thing
was pretty amazing and what an eclectic fantastic group of people that you
wouldn't have imagined we're into cars I don't drop any names but it was a
fabulous group of people and we were really we enjoyed each other's company
we really enjoyed the cars and I made just that this is my little
little roundup there was a 1968 Ferrari 312 you know the ones with the white
spaghetti it's coming out of that yeah Derek Bell drove one of those for the
first time since 1969 lovely and he's a god anyway and I just guys in their
seventies just getting into these cars and driving them as if they've been
driving them you know to Sainsbury's every week it was just so gloriously
effortless and had treaded tires was throwing up a lot of dust that thing
was just basically oversteering in every gear that he picked I mean it was
just it was unbelievable there was a guy called Axel Hildebrand who drove a
Volvo 745 estate yeah with the Sonax lip I mean this is basically two and a
half tons of bus again just being driven as if it was a little mini club
but not the hill it was I mean it was incredible to Williams FW 18 so this
was the the shock of me one of them was driven by James vowels the man who runs
Williams can drive a formula on car really really quickly the second one was
of course Damon who had and it was really a bit of a Damon day at the end he
was pretty emotional couldn't believe it had been 30 years since he was well
champion Georgie looks exactly the same 30 years later God knows I mean just
one incredibly incredibly pretty woman
Stefan Johansson in the 2008 Ferrari F1 car I didn't know whether it was masses
or whether it was Reichenan's but again just Johansson a driver of the 80s
and early 90s just piloting this bullet up the hill it's the one with the bar
code where the Marlborough sticker would have been you know that really clever
way of having that one don't me who do you we do yeah but I have to say the
masses car okay but I've got to tell you the bit that made me just go oh what
they had the trio of 1966 Le Mans winning F for GT40s so three of those
black blue and bronze with pink highlights and I have to say you know
like 1966 the three Le Mans guys they those car those cars are so pretty three
of them you know nose to tail sound absolutely incredible and I just you
I was just the whole thing was just fabulous and variety of cars the hill
climb I mean all of it it's all it's all terribly serious and by the way hay bales
on either side of a car make it look faster can I just say you're watching
thinking if somebody loses ever tire pops was on thing this is not an accident
someone's farm yard I mean you know it's I mean it is it is incredible I don't
know how many people were there but it felt a bit like the British Grand Prix
in 1992 I mean there were a lot yeah of people there and a lot of love for the
pod by the way you know I took a little stroll everybody was oh love the pod love
the pod so thank you to everyone who loves the pod and thank you for Bentley
for probably on the most enjoyable days I've had around a plethora of cars in my
life there you go you see podcasts open doors we love it let's let's go over to
Nick Lifford well I went to the first level speed
tell you didn't get an invitation I didn't go with Bentley although I
though I did wangle my way into Bentley to Mike with Mike said to have a
little half an hour cup of tea because it was bloody hot I went twice actually I
went Thursday and Saturday and I mean it's class to brief for cars yeah it's
really really really good bloody hot it was bloody hot but you know it's lovely
summer but it was a bit scorchio and as manage said tons of millions and
millions of cars British Motor Show meets you know just fantastic really to
put that event on God knows what the organization must be and how long they
spend and what they do and it's a brilliant thing get there early is my
tip because if you think you're getting there early you're not early enough you
think if I leave at 5 30 I missed traffic no you know you've got to leave
second day we left that I think five to five yeah and in fairness 7 30 on the
dot I was almost you know the man that won the bar of chocolate the first man
going through the turnstiles and that's a big relief when you get there
because you've got the anxiety of traffic and do you follow the signs or do
you follow your sat nav and obviously they say don't follow your sat nav and
then all the little colored triangles different parking it's quite
complicated for my simple brain but you know what it's brilliant and John
McGinnis was celebrated yeah John was John was I don't know you get so many
brilliant celebrations he's you know what at 30 years and maybe it's 30 years
is it or service to dentistry yeah so I thought all the McGinnis gang and
they're all wonderful amazing people and just brilliant celebrate him because
he's a legend and just loads of cars going around that Cartier concourse he
elegance thing you know blue RS 200 from new the only blue one you know you
can just get excited about weird stuff can't you there's a million mirrors and
you like do I like the green one the red one the yellow one the black one the
green one I like the white one as my choice was the white one but then you
see things like a blue from new RS 200 you like you get excited about the little
niche things basically it's very good and then the good news is and I can't
really mention any more but a lovely man called Neil of course lovely man help
me fix my daughter's car so thank you very much Neil and it's back on the road
and that's very nice of you so thank you so all in all two days at Goodwood
first was be pretty cool I'm glad to hear you both are good on the first
period just look hot to me and but it is the British show and if you if I'm I
think I'm a bit cynical about this stuff but I'm privileged some around cars the
whole time of my day job didn't give me access it would be the best event in the
world see that yeah and young people love cars it's that young people don't
like it's amazing to see super young people just swarming around all those
amazing vehicles yeah so it's good I've got on that certain to up to you mr. H
just on that I think you're 100% right mr. Clifford the British Grand Prix two
weeks ago we're actually a week ago before that it's always one's always a
week after the other I was talking to the people there and the inestimable mr.
Pringle who runs Silvers and circuits I said to him looking at the demographics
and the youths and loveliness of the crowd it's kind of gone beyond drive to
survive I think they've gone beyond that yeah yeah with that crowd and there's
lots of young people they're clearly enjoying the music and the festival stuff
blah blah blah but they're clearly enjoying the cars and the people who
drive them and I think for our passion that's fantastic it is what do you think
is mr. Pringle's favorite flavor of Pringles do you know I've never asked
me should yeah so cream and chives it'd be some vinegar you can't eat the
sort of vinegar ones they're terrible I like them I like that's all it's that's
all favorite sweater I'm leaving this podcast you're all wankers you can't
have that yeah you can't have that you've got some you got orange on your
bottom lip yeah I know I'm yeah we should ask mr. Pringle what his favorite
Pringle is I think we're very insightful in the easiest way I can without
something like I'm being insulting and mocking wonderful Scottish if your
surname was Rimmer what would you ask them what was your favorite role in the
James Bond films very good no Rimmer was in Dwarf was a character in Red Dwarf
Shane Rimmer was in multiple of the James Bond films it was the voice of
Scott Tracy in Thunderbirds it was a voice of Scott Tracy about rimming I
nearly got away with that it did anyhow I didn't use stalk or lip so you can get
lost true I've got a bit housekeeping to catch up on I didn't mention it last
podcast but I counted as part of this week's activities I got a ride in that
electric five turbo did I talk about that last week not really no I had to
become honestly I tell you what was amazing about it was I mean you know I
was there Renault to do a bit and Bob I was racing anyway first of all it's an
EV I can get excited about I don't get excited about many but it looks bonkers
and they've given it a proper sort of rear weight distribution so you could
have a colossal accident this thing if you wanted to what I loved as ever it's
the people not the cars they set they set me up with an engineer to talk to you
about the car and then this guy was gonna take me for a lap Arthur was his
name lovely lovely bloke really proud of the project's been there at the start
you know when you meet people like that you think this thing's in safe hands
because he's one of us you know he lives and breathes this shit and he knows all
about the key of E6 the phase one the phase two he knows all it's they drive
the cars regularly to keep themselves educated on why it's important what the
the DNA strand matters anyhow before about to go out I say look I'm not a very
good passenger but I assume you've done a few laps here he's gone now I did one
slow lap they show me on that's all I've done I said that's what I love about
our industry is I'm not allowed to drive this car but I've raced here about eight
times but you have to drive me because I'm not
insured to drive your prototype he said yes it's madness but sadly that's the
way it goes so I thought this is gonna be shit and I've got some young lad who's
a bit too tall for my liking and a bit too good-looking and he's gonna drive me
slowly around the circuit and I'm gonna have to make whooping noises anyhow
Arthur comes out of um he comes out the pits behind an M3 like some like a dog
that's been kicked up the nuts you know it just he absolutely fires out the
bit this could be interesting he picks a perfect breaking point for the first
chicane and they're in then he just gives me a demonstration of extremely
talented driving all the way around the circuit based on one sighting lap and
some looking at the internet he drove beautifully and then just to wind me up
even more just to rub vinegar into the wounds of my insecurities we go through
the Porsche curves and to demonstrate the real weight distribution he just he
parsed in a bit too quickly backs off puts in about that much lock I'm showing
half a turn of lock lets the thing slide corrects it beautifully and then looks
at me and goes it's a real you know it's a real rear-engine vehicle this and I
just went good God you're talented anyhow it's when you meet people like that
that makes you even angrier about the state of the European car industry
because we have got some of the best people on the planet we're very lucky
these cars companies are rammed full of talent and the politicians and the
legislators are fucking it completely so Arthur to you and your like-minded young
people I couldn't I can't tell you how impressed I was he was that he had a
great sense of humor and I love the car to the point where I went back from a
mate Tuttle and said we're having half one of these each we
have to buy one because it's cool yeah and I'll tell you why it's cool because
the engine in a Renault 5 turbo one or two is shit yes you're not missing a
great engine there it's not some piece of flat six glory it makes a load of
racket and it's not very good so the electric motor works beautifully when
it replaces a shit engine now there've been some sonorous V12 to quote car
magazine then maybe but there isn't there was a shite engine in there so yeah
I really enjoyed it fast forward a little bit after that I went off and we did
the 205 adventures we didn't take three we took two my oldest son and his friend
Chris drove them to Lamont we then drove off we had and we just come back from a
week between Bergerac and Bordeaux all I can say is cars are brilliant little
cars bring stories and memories so we had a great every day we go out and we
take the 205s and go for a wobble and we bounce around and I've shot some video
that I think looks a bit like Ronin footage but with 205s and a bit shit
I said very low shot very road rash as I call it very lows with that chin the road
rushing at you and they're jousting and they're too close yoring and all this
sort of stuff shot some of that and then when we left on Monday morning at UK time
5 a.m. of course the black one as it's known because it's black the alternator
shit itself so myself and my two boys and their friend Chris we drove 21 hours
to get the cars back to Bristol non-stop we decided we're a rare bit of brain
power we worked out that if you use one car as alternator to charge one
battery you can then sort the batteries put the good battery in the other car
to pleat that down and keep some we did nine battery changes military style in
21 hours and when I got back I was completely knackered but as a team
building an emotional building exercise we'll never forget it we had such an
adventure you know pulling off in stupid places doing slightly dangerous
things annoying people by being a bit chaotic but there's a we've been in two
Ferraris would have been hated but when you're in 2205s people just love you and
have sympathy and think they're beautiful and I can tell you we wouldn't
have had that experience we wouldn't have had that bonding experience if we
hadn't been in lovely old motorcars because they were the who in the
band us together so my love for the 205 runs even deeper now I absolutely I can
tell you we undenied about two things this year on our little family holiday
we haven't been abroad in eight years for holiday because I love Cornwall so much
and the two things were should we take an old car with us one of our cars not a
hard car you know and should we take the dog we took the dog the paperwork was
tricky and when you're coming back is a bit of a pain getting that extra
appointment to have the the warming tablet or the sort of the worst the
worms take tapeworm tablet really but actually I don't like going on holiday
that my dog and my cars I like I need both there and that it makes a holiday
for me be I don't want to wake up and the higher cars good fun but every
morning I got up and I got in a 205 the black one or the red one it's called the
red one because it's red and then I'd go to the Boulangerie Patisserie and I'd
choose one that was about four or five miles away and I I started the day
happier and a better person it's a funny thing the motor car is you're listening
to this and we do it they're brilliant they're just utterly brilliant things
that is the perfectest and loveliest essay love letter to our passion
we like our cars really quick question before we move on it's about the big
thick Swiss army knife does anyone descaled a fish have you ever used that
descaler no I used the toothpick once is it good no I just I've never used it I
actually thought it was I a template for airbrushing I literally
do because I've got that lovely waviness it's perfect yeah for a 170
second Tomcat actually but I thought it was for I thought it was for getting
hold of your siblings I thought it's getting hold of your siblings and
pretending to cut their arm but actually it was blunt so I thought it was does
anyone still have the full little pullout thing so it's a tweet pair of
tweezers wasn't it yeah what were the other two things pull out there were
four things in the mega knife well some of them are now just there's like the
multi-tools are 72 things pull out yes you obviously had a bigger one
ran your way always the tweezers and the toothpick sex toy for a net little tiny
processes okay we better move on we've just spent 30 minutes on the first topic
oh picture that tells us that I'll do this voice I've sent these guys a picture
I won't go on too long about this you heard too much of my bloody voice already
so I sent this picture to the lads this is a I'm lucky because I don't have the
four of us I probably have more pictures of cars that matter to me or things that
seem significant in my life because I've been lucky I spent my working life
around cars and I sent them a picture which I'm now going to put up we'll put
up probably which is of a Ferrari 360 spider x288 KRK which was the UK
press car if they go there's the picture now now it looks like it's got
writing all over it because it has so the reason why this is significant to me
is like like Neil's description last week it's multifaceted things that have
complicated multiple meanings are more significant to us as human beings because
we are not as stupid as we think we are well not all of us are but maybe I am
but this works for me because it reminds me of several things the first is I'm
sliding a Grigio Titanio Ferrari on the public highway not something I would do
now but this was taken in 2000 so I think the statute limitations means I won't
get prosecuted in those days we did slide cars on the public road but there
was a bit of a rule try and stay on your side of the road so you'll see I'm
entirely within my side of the road you are in this image so I'm quite comfortable showing it
this was the first time I was ever pictured sliding a Ferrari in a car magazine so for me
it was an important moment and because of that the team around me my boss Steve Sutkin from
the art department as well gave me what's called the chrome limb now was the proof
on which the magazine was based so an auto car on a Tuesday a Monday or Tuesday the chrome
limbs would come in and that was the template from which the magazine was printed we're past
hot pressed but you still had what was effectively the negative from which you were going to print
this is a positive this is what you got so actually it was higher resolution than a car
magazine so the picture is actually the same quality as a picture and all of this would be
annotated so you'd come in the art department would make their color changes and we would make
some changes as well and the photographs weren't very good because we were already in the era of
shop so yeah sometimes people would close things up sometimes things would be changed the background
would be changed and I was particularly pleased with this because from one of my first efforts
I'm sliding quite near a curb and the cars within the white line and it says here gap
way too big here please close up which shows you the level of sarcasm that existed in the
art department of that which that was about one of my colleagues the one bit that I can't
actually say because it's humor that isn't acceptable now but was back then 26 years ago
or whenever it was was that 20 no 20 years ago 20 it was it was fuck I mean near side rear tire
still on ground why I quite like that but the but there was you can imagine there was an
instant gratification those days that we that that we enjoyed even though it was weekly you now get
that on it you post it on Instagram you see your work immediately and you see the responses
but a weekly car magazine was busy and it was industrious and so these would come in
and often you stay till late because you wanted to see what your stories look like and you wanted
to go through them and make comments and you'd help craft it with a team of experts sub editors
that would help me with your appalling grammar and spelling and sentence construction and also
the art department to make sure the cars looked right to make sure the picture shop was right you
the difference between five degree angle on a car going sideways when you look at it
can make a profound difference a car can look athletic in the first shot but it can look lazy
in the second shot so I loved all of that and this reminds me of those days maybe what I take
from it most is there was a time when I did my first ever slide in a Ferrari published in a car
magazine and I was very proud of it and also I did really enjoy working with a team of people
I've since since sort of a year after this was taken I've really been the sole trader
top gear you spent some time with people but it wasn't the same as living going to the office
every day and hanging out with people and I what I take from this is that this work from home
things shite if you if you work every day with talented people you have better ideas and I know
what happened the idea that came from this I'll tell you why that's pertinent to me I came back
from that day's shooting and I thought hmm I'm a bit fed up with these spy shot things
and it was this car that I used to make my fake Enzo successor sorry yeah it was this and I used
so I spent a day covering this in vinyl and gaffer tape and those sort of bolster things
you used to stop magazines falling off the edge of a of a bookshelf yeah I created my fake Enzo
and I then took the spy shots of it and tried to sell them to also express for 10 grand
and they were about to buy them and that's when the lawyers got involved said that if I did that
it'd be entrapment and I'd lose my job but I thought it was the funny I thought it was the
funniest thing I'd ever done you're right boss yeah we've got this we live around the 13 basements
only do it in the package uh I might be stick it down there boss sorry about that you're not
you're live on a podcast and now you're famous you are on the pod he loves the pod thank you boss
thank you what's your name Roland he's got a rocker t-shirt on as well what a legend that's the
local nightclub thank you mate thank you sorry about I will do thank you mate thank you thank you
so um I think yeah that's I've sort of finished covering it there sideways people lovely team
talent also I was a massive Porsche fan and at this moment I had to realise there was something
special about a Fandango and this idea of the Ferrari now of course because I can count the
great man through Luca sorry through Manish I can count the great man as my friend I view all
these Luca era cars as being something they've got as little they've got a sprinkler stardust
on them they yeah because they are Luca cars so there you go done and dusted was it a Manuel
or was it a no that was paddles that one yeah the dark blue car was a Manuel
that was a great example they because they used to have them on the fleet for a couple of years
then they only have one and you weren't allowed to do more than 500 miles in it your 500 mile limit
so sometimes we would drive it for 500 miles and have to trailer it back to to Egham because
you'd bust the mileage limit and it was and the things we do to get away with the mileage limit
but yeah let's just think a silver Ferrari is underrated I think it's a great yes
regio detaino is the one with that little blue in it little blue blue yeah I just anyhow I just
there's special we look back on those periods of our life it's still the best part of my working
life was auto car I just I was so happy here we go let's move on to our next piece immediate
car love this is fabulous I'm going to go straight to manage for this one well hopefully it won't
be the usual suspects my closest friend a guy called Max James he and I met when we were doing
a levels and his family were massive Citroën fans they'd had cx's ds's his father especially
was an architect absolutely in love with with France everything French used to go
every summer to France for a couple of weeks and Max when he passed his driving test first
time at the age of 17 and one week was given a beautiful cream to CV and I have to say
it's tough isn't it it's sort of I mean I'm so in love with Lola of course and all the rest of it
but if I had a car that summed up absolutely the sweet spot of my life with my entire life ahead
of me you know you're just sort of post GCSE pre-a level those two years that car represented it
it was um kind of that it was that creamy vanilla color had black vinyl interior
had the had the roof that would roll right back it was the first time I'd ever seen anyone change
gear where the gears that came through the um the dashboard and Max says it was very very good rugby
player very very good at racket sports a very coordinated guy drove the thing absolutely
beautifully that on country lanes you you know belize it's 600 cc you can really throw it I mean
the body roll was at times 30 degrees but my god we enjoyed being in it and the car was felt very
very quick it didn't really have to be very quick I don't think I ever went on a motorway on it but
um that was the one that kind of took us to the pub followed by one pint brackets um the white
heart and hook officer um I remember uh that did end up in a hedge just once um and it wasn't too
difficult to take out but I always remember we had this other friend Dan who's in the back ones
had the had the roof half open not fully open half open and somehow a wasp got in
it went straight to the back the screaming the shouting the need to pull up the need to
go to pull the roof open and get all the doors open to get that wasp out was pretty dramatic
but that's another topic wasps in cars rather than a great topic yeah
intersection cars topic yeah so but but you know um there were just days when you
know you'd be I mean I I remember that car is being basically forever summer that's really the best
way of remembering that car that car just I look at it I look back I just think late teens summer
not London as well so I think of countryside and um I mean it's just it it was beautiful and I think
you know probably if I go to my grave with instant first time car love that's that 2cv was it
I like to think the way they got that color to be so creamy was that it was like milk they painted
them all white and left them outside the factory for a couple of months and they just sort of went
off like milk um Neil what about you I've got so many um because any car you get immediate car love
yeah yeah truth um I could easily save my Alpine I came late to Alpine but suddenly
I 100 yards down the road you're like oh my god this is amazing can't believe
but any different to any other car um my first 911 which was actually the probably the
shittest 911 I've ever bought but it doesn't matter because I couldn't I couldn't afford a good one
so I bought a crappy one a 3.2 I think on an 87 G50 black but tatty black with that linen
leather piped black that was all a bit shagged and the carpet was all sort of dirty and you know
I don't know where I bought it curling carpets yeah curling carpets and the roof was bloody ripped
and I don't know I think you know I should have got a good one is it a cab cab
cab get you f 9 11 um ha m but it wasn't an 87 on an f then was it no it was it was a well what
it's 87 an f yeah ha into 89 is it it is indeed yeah because g was march okay it's 88 then
um g was august night 89 um f 9 11 ha m it's probably worth a quarter of a million pound that
thing um but what I would say my real answer is my first car really Ford Escort
yellow badly painted 1300 L mark 12 door even though I like the look of the four doors
there's two door basic basic um I don't know I can't remember 1980 what have been 84 I don't
know this one this was pretty early for like 250 quid you then go about spending 240
quid on high five like two years salary you get that sonic with theульby b and c and the little
graphic equalizer and you got your to pet mo tape and you just dry c oh it's the new Forest
& Black back just for the hell of it or bon Mizio let's go law let's go to
where should we go? Where Little Hampton. Let's go to the fun fair. You'd just go
anywhere, wouldn't you? Because you had a chance to go in your car. Yes. And I was on the,
the, so just finished the YTS scheme at the Fiat garage and, you know, your skin and use every
week you're borrowing 20 quid off your mum for a tank of petrol. But freedom, drive up ports down,
hill in Pompey to get a sort of mega burger, you know, we've just got like four burgers,
10 slices of bacon, eggs, mushrooms, fucking hash browns, whatever, for a quid.
You just get it all over you, get it all over your genes. It was just, it was just a wonderful time.
You know, I, I love every time of my life, but that was very, very special. You were skinny.
Yeah. You ate everything. You had a 30 inch waist. 28. I don't think, I think I went straight
to 30, actually. But at the lowest chords on with the little key ring and the little splits at the
bottom, you know, that sort of dressery thing. Lyle and Scott Jumper. Oh, what a time. Lyle and Scott
Jumper. Yeah. Basically, you look like fucking Nick Fowdo drive around in a Mark 2S. Yes, it was the
thing that, you know, it was a shot that was, it would have been 1985 or 86 in South Sea. Because
unlike Neil, I've never really understood clothes and they just cover my body. And it was a brief
point in my last middle year, poly porsons, poly and somewhere in South Sea, near where that
Waitrose store. Yeah, just along from Debenhams. There was a men's out, it was a men's clothes store,
which looked quite sort of... Well, they had more French. They were sort of Chevignon,
Matinique. They were 17. It might have been like that. And I remember Chevignon.
That is the word I've not heard in a while. It was Chevignon Chippy. Do you remember Chippy?
Chippy! New man. man, yes. I thought that actually existed in New Man. But you go to
France and think, oh, I'm going to get myself another New Man shirt. It's shit. But the New Man of the
80s, it was three doors down from Debenhams. I knew the guys that ran it. There was a guy who ran it.
And I bought my very first suit in there. The New Man. It was a three piece suit. And I remember I wore
the waistcoat once. Yeah. Once only on my very first day at work when I moved up to the Big Smoke.
And I thought, well, I got to wear that. And I remember, I can't tell you how awkward I felt
because I'm so self-conscious. I can't take it off. Otherwise, everyone will know that I know.
Yeah. Yeah, it just kept going. I got home, took the waistcoat off and I never saw it again.
That was a cool store, actually. Because normally you had to go to either Salampton to the Salampton
Keys or you went to Brighton. So that changed the shopping in Pompey, that store.
It did. And I bought a yellow sweater there once. And after that, I only ever looked for yellow sweaters.
Well, they had Hugo Boss when Hugo Boss was called.
It wasn't Hugo Boss. Even I don't know, and that's beyond my pay grade.
It looked very different. That's a really happy time.
Yeah. So, actually, can you talk about a car now?
Sorry, I will do. Almost, there are so many cars. You look at, you think,
that's the best car I've ever seen. There is no other car that can supplant that one in my love
and obsession and blah, blah, blah. But there are two, there are two cars and two moments
which stick in my mind. One was when it would have been Motor Magazine,
because I was a Motor Magazine reader rather than Auto Car.
Sorry. Well, they got Auto Car bought, took over Motor, didn't they?
It was Auto Car and Motor still when I started.
Yeah. When the Rover SD1 was launched, 1976, in those days, you couldn't,
to try and show how performancy a car was and how much they were really trying,
they didn't have oversteering shots like your 360 Spider.
They would just show cornering shots with the car really loaded up and like at a 45 degree
angle of roll, because that's how he showed it. And there was some, there was like a,
a shot of a car coming uphill through some sweeping country roads.
And in the middle of the, it must have been a sort of a right, a left-hander to a right-hander
for a left hand. So the middle of the apex of the car is fully loaded up and there's a head-on shot
of his SD1, sort of like this sort of 30 degree angle, fully loaded, fully committed, thinking
how, I can't even begin to imagine how wonderful and special. It's a Rover, it's not a Ford
or a Vauxhall, it's a Rover and that's just the best thing ever. And that love of that car,
still like, which is, you might see a bit later in the two car garage, it's still a love thing.
The other one, four-door Daytona, four-door Daytona. It was, I actually quite like the
original Gen 1 car with the sort of the, the stainless steel.
Yeah, 2,600 with the less bits on it.
Basically. Sorry, few of these.
The other one, I just remember the article, it was a white Ford, the original Ford Sierra
Costworth Drive Stories in the magazines. Yeah. In spring 1986.
You're having two or three, are you?
Just the two.
Yep, okay.
They're goodbye my standards.
Yep.
And it was the first Drive Stories of Ford Sierra Costworth, which 150 miles an hour,
which then was just like unheard of. 204 horsepower.
Three-door, three-door shape.
Three-door with a big wing on the back.
Yeah.
Not the R500, so the clean boot lid, but with a big wing.
Three-door, white.
And the story, I can remember the word, it said, it was, the Drive Story was in Malaga or
somewhere down in the hot part of Spain. And they said, we were driving past Malaga and the 737
or the BAC 111 couldn't keep up as we've, and just the evocation of how fast and cool.
And it said, the car was white as the Spanish sun, and it was just all of it.
The words, the color of the car, 150 miles an hour, touring car, Stardom to come.
Brilliant.
I look at those now, and I think of 1986, and it just, the expectation and that,
just the words of that story, the color of the car, it had to be a white one, couldn't be the
Moonstone or black, had to be the white one, 150 miles an hour, 204 horsepower.
Yeah.
Ricciaro seats.
The Ricciaro, yeah.
Also, that thing, that Ford Sierra thing, where you could, with the toggle,
that you could move the speakers backwards and forwards and around you, but that had a
thing, you could just move the speakers backwards and forwards on the toggle.
Oh, well, that's your second one. What's your third one?
No, I'm going to let you have a go now.
Okay, fine. Now, this is split into two for me. Obviously, every car you're in love with,
within reason. And if you're not in love with it, you're inquisitive as to why you're not in
love with it, which means, like, being in the playground, you end up in love with it.
So, you're on to a hiding to nothing. I view it in two categories. There's one,
which is, I can't believe I own this car now. Because you've achieved something or got
to own an object that you thought you'd never own, you almost feel unworthy.
So, there's that side of it. I've got lots of them. But there's another side to it, which is
that sort of glove fitting exercise, where you think to yourself,
this car is so perfect for me, it's like they made it for me. The idea that something mass
market is bespoke is quite joyous. It's only, I think it's happened to me a few times in my
working life. But the one time it happened to me, where I really just thought, this might be the
end game, actually, I could be, never get better than this. I never find a car
that's more perfectly suited to me. And it was the, it was the first time I drove an E46 M3.
They used to have a separate UK launch BMW had so much cash back then, they had an international
launch, a bit of a GB, we have a separate launch, normally in the south of France or in Spain.
And we'd went to the south of France, went some tiny little circuit. And I remember driving the
E46 M3 and thinking, oh my God, this is perfect. And it looks right. It sounds right. It goes as
fast as the 911. Yeah, I'm not sure you can improve on this motor car. And it's like it was made for
me. And if I applied, if I spun it 180 and said, how would I make this car better? I'd have scratched
my head. I just completely fell in love with it. And I drove one back. You were allowed to drive
them back in those days. Wow. And there was no, there was no sense of bribery at all. You'd open
the glove box and there'd be a thousand quid in France for you to get back from the south of
France, the UK. Now, I'm not very bright, but I know it doesn't cost a thousand francs because
the old auto service station fuel wasn't very expensive. So what I would do,
well, the first time I did one of those, I went back sensibly, gave my receipts and what have
you. This was probably the second time I'd done a drive back. So I picked up a mate, as you do,
he lived down there and we drove to the UK via Paris. There's a bloke on a bike playing reggae
music outside my house. I don't know why, sorry. So we drove via Paris and we went out in Paris
and we bumped into some old friends as well. And we got absolutely shitfaced, terribly poleaxed,
and woke up the next day and drove back. I don't have much of a memory of what we got up to that
night, but it must have been good. Anyhow, when we got back, I realized that we'd spent the thousand
quid on being fabulously generous to our friends in Paris. And I thought nothing of it until a
lovely woman who was called Barbara, who used to work at the middle of the press office and
controls such things phoned me and said, can I have your receipts? And I went,
no, then I had a bit like snatch when they have the flashbacks and there's lots of very
cutty choppy edit. And I suddenly thought I had flashbacks to a nightclub, a pole,
some, I don't know, women, what have you. And we ended up, anyway, it was a fabulous evening,
but I couldn't produce any receipts. So BMW then asked me to pay for some of it back,
which I did. But the E46 M3 was that car. I didn't even need to drive it. I just saw
five of them lined up and I just thought, oh my God, this is perfection. I've seen perfection.
Two door. Yeah, there wasn't a four door. Eventually, but not the written launch.
Evolution was the four door. I just wondered whether the four door came later. It did,
didn't it? They're different wheels. That's the E46, isn't it? Yeah, there's six cylinder one.
There's no E46 saloon. There's a convertible. And there's a coupé. There's no E46 M3 saloon.
It wasn't, was it? Oh, maybe I dreamt that. You did. You've just completely confused me.
I've now my brakes. E36 GT. There was an E36 saloon, but there was not an E36.
Yeah, no, the green one's different. That's cool. That GT thing.
I'm talking about two or four doors. I thought there was a four door one,
but obviously I dreamt it. No, you're right. You've completely frazzled me.
Let's move on to the next one. What circuit you drove at? Was that the Luke?
It could have been. Lovely place. Don't tell me you won a Caterham race there.
It was genuinely a good prompt. Next time I ask that question, I have that in mind.
It's a beautiful part of the world. It's all of it. I was driving past in the 205s,
doing 58 miles an hour up some en-road on Monday, and I saw a river called the Vienne.
And that reminded me, I once did a race down there at Val de Vienne. France has got so many
cool little recent racing circuit. And the other thing I did is I met,
this is just a bit of memory from last week, at Le Mans. There was this lovely shop selling model,
really cool model cars. So I went in there and I bought some little 205 models like I do.
There's a bloke outside with a little trestle table with a cloth over it,
and a book about Depayet in French, the Formula One driver. And I walked up to him and I said,
Parle au Anglais. And he went, yeah. And I took a photo with him. And I said,
can you get this translated into English? Because I'd love to read it in English.
And he said, I will, I will. And he said, I love what we do. He loved the videos.
And I said, I'd like what he did and what have you. And I saw the picture on Instagram,
and his surname was Depayet. It was his son. No way. It was his son.
So we had, and I'm so glad I said such lovely things about his dad. I said the on-board,
that early on-board of him in the Tyrol to Montreal in the wet is some of the best on-board I've
ever seen in a racing car. That's the full on-board. That's the 36, isn't it? That's the four.
Yeah. That's the, yeah. So I was, yeah. I'm talking about a different bloody thing.
But boys, we're, we're an hour in. I'm going to have to shove this back a bit. So
Yeah, we're almost halfway. That's okay. Yeah.
So let's do, let's, let's go to Jesus Christ. I love it.
We're going to go to worst ever Porsche. Yeah. Because I,
It's just tough. That's like saying, that's like saying, what's your worst hand job?
I thought you were going to say curry.
Makes more sense, I think. There's going to be a lot of, there's going to be a lot of dads now
going, going, I'm not telling you what that is. Yeah. Stop bloody swearing. Yeah, exactly.
So Neil Clifford, this is sacrilege. This is tough, you see. I've definitely done this one
because it's tough. I don't agree. But, but you're going to go 924 again, aren't you?
But the, I've added two words to it for me. Shit is ever Porsche to drive.
Oh, there we go. But I've just added that for me. You can do whatever you want.
You can add things or you don't have to add things because this is a car that I actually
adore. I love maybe slightly even pertinent for today. But I don't really enjoy driving a Porsche
928. I like looking at them. I adore looking at them. I've owned them because I think they're gorgeous.
But I'm, oh, the manual's better than the automatic. You don't, the manual's overrated.
You get a, you know, get an auto. It's fantastic. The problem is, it's like listening to Kajagoogoo.
It hasn't, it hasn't moved with the times. It's so much shame on you. You know, you know,
in the, in a view to a kill when Zorin presses the button in the air, in the air thing, in the
air balloon thing and the stairs go into a slide and he goes out. Finley, can you press that button,
please? Look, if you love them so much, you'd be ringing me thinking about buying one. I'm always,
everyone's always thinking about buying a 928. I know. You're always thinking about it. When you
drive them and for me, you know, it's a bit like E, E, whatever they're called, E 500s. I love them.
I've had a brown one, a blue one, a white one, a bloody, but they haven't, they haven't moved with
the times. And you suddenly get into a 911. Oh, so much better. It is so much better than a 928.
So, if a 928 is Kajagoogoo, what is a 911? A 911 is the Beatles. I don't like the Beatles.
Well, gosh, what's your fucking car, then? Don't ask which one is dollar, because you'll get cancelled
as well. 911. Let me re-record it.
That's the question, let's see, which 911 is dollar? Yeah. But, you know, yeah, that's, look,
that's, that's, that's my answer. Okay. Moving on. I mean, it's a really, it's a sad, it was a sad
interaction that, well, I'm sorry to the podcast that Neil Clifford's let himself down so profoundly.
If I was his headteacher now, I'd sum up his report as one word, disappointing.
Let's move on to Manish 924, Pandy.
And we'll just move on to Peter Schultz. What can I say? be possibly saying?
Rosalie, you always like the turbo, but you don't... So, like, okay, okay, okay, all right.
I took a year off and, you know, being completely serious, I didn't really know my dad very well.
My parents were divorced when I was quite young. He moved to California when I was 11.
And I barely saw him for eight years. And he'd come through London now and again. And
I'd been out to California a couple of times, but I took a year off and I spent some proper time
in California in my year off. And when I got there, my stepmother, who was a pediatrician,
she was really into cars. In fact, she's, the very last time I saw her, a couple of years before
she passed away, she said to me that her biggest regret in life was buying into a general practice
with my dad in California, instead of buying the Berlinetta Boxer of her dreams, because she was
a very, very seriously into cars person. She was the one who took me to the Old School Motor Show
in, you know, in 76 when I saw the Contagion, the Lagonda, and all the rest of it. Anyway,
she saw me sort of lounging about the house once too many times and said,
do you like sports? And I said, I think sports okay. And she said, well, what sport do you like?
And I said, well, I like tennis. So the next thing I knew, she enrolled me into something
called tennis clinic. Good. The country club. And I'd gone from not playing very much tennis
to being bought, bought my first ever proper carbon fiber racket. Was it a Prince?
It wasn't it was a Donne no, it was a, it was a Wilson. I was my first one with a little
vibrasorb. I mean, I can believe it. Anyway, I, the average age of a person in my tennis clinic,
I was 18 was 12, because they were that good at tennis, these Gallup winning kids. Anyway,
I spent three months playing tennis seven days a week. And I had 21 hour sessions, one on one
a week with my tennis instructor whose name was Steve Voorhees. And Steve had a red Porsche 924.
I knew we'd get there eventually. Yeah. So Steve was, in fact, I might be able to get a photo
of Steve Voorhees and me together at the tennis club me age 18, passing on to Finley to put on
to the pub. But the point is he had a red 924. And the American 924, I was in into cars enough to
know how gutted this car was. I read today, it had 95 horsepower on a good day, 30 horsepower less
than a European 90. And this thing, it was a classic tennis pro's car, like you'd have a key,
and you'd always put it on the bar afterwards. And you know, these tennis pros, you know,
they make that money. There were many older women who had short legs shorts and how tight
were they? You'll see this in the photo. I mean, a what? Short and tight. But the point is he'd
put his keys down and have these Porsche keys and it's like, should we get, you know, my Porsche
and this car was crap. It was absolutely crap. He would floor it. You know, there were no TV cameras
and things that he would floor it. I don't know, just overtaken by Lexus. It was just the car was
rubbish. The interior wasn't particularly nice. You know, I mean, apparently, though, they do go
for 100,000 million miles. And I think when they somebody got a turbo in California, two years later,
it was chalk and cheese. So I've had to pick one bad car with the American spec Porsche 924 owned
by Steve Voorhees. That was the worst. The Audi engine in it. Exactly. It was the Audi engine
with the Porsche top, didn't they? They just put the Porsche cover on it. It was just the car was
rubbish. I'm sort of torn by this one, really, because there's a danger we're going to sound
like wine snobs. Isn't it really like all the 85 Bordeaux. Oh, it's dishwater. You've got to have
the 80s sort of they're all 14 out of 10. You know, when we don't like
you, somebody's pride and joy. I can't I just can't naturally feel I did try to think
is the one I've been disappointed by. And then you end up sort of feeling that, well, you didn't
quite have the sort of the handling finesse of the 997.2 GT3. And you think, oh my god, we're sort of
no more stop listening to us. I generally don't think I mean, the 94 is the is the kind of like
the QI Klaxon answer, isn't it to the always gone for the Audi engine, not quite a Porsche.
But if you approach it this way, this shows you the power of the Porsche name. Think how much
shitter the 94 would be if it hadn't been a Porsche. Yeah, it would be it would remember it.
No, it would have been. I mean, even though it's interesting, isn't it looking back?
When I was at university and first working, I couldn't I couldn't conceive of even fantasizing
about a 911 because it was just too far over the horizon. You couldn't realistically even dream
about it. You could just about dream about a 944. And when the 944 S2 came along with the beautiful
in that long elongated ellipse of a sort of a dashboard or a proxenet and the lovely interior
and the smoothed out the rounded valence at the front, rather than stuck on the bumper bit,
the same body shape front, the 944 Turbo. I remember reading the 944 Turbo test in car magazine,
1985, page six, something like that, thinking I'll never desire a car more than that. It's just
looks fantastic. It's got 250 horsepower, which is more than God. It's a four cylinder engine.
And if it did that now, a bit like I wonder how history will regard the flat four boxters and
Caymans. Oh, I think they'll be fine long term. You think they'll be fine? Yeah. There you go.
9146. 220 horsepower. I'd like to know, find that one. That's a complete freaking light.
But when you see a 9146 now, and there's the one, Todd Hill did one a few years ago, the 9146 GT
with the, with the arches, you think, God, that's a fantastic group. Would that be group four, group
five? I still, I still think that the power of the Porsche badge with the four cylinder cars
was proven because, you know, I read, I read in the middle of the night on Tesla Day, which was
Corrado versus 944, 2.7 as it was back then. So that was the last one without, it didn't have the
lovely fed in front end that had the knob leads of warty one. And the conclusion was the Corrado is
yourself just to have the Porsche in. So when you see one of the Porsche double as good. I sort
of agree with Chris here. There's no such thing as a bad Porsche. There are Porsches you want,
Porsches you don't want. They're like beer. There's no such thing as bad beer. There's beer that you
like more than other beer. All right. Asahi manages just racing asahi, which is I don't like lager,
but if I'm drinking lager, it's the only lager you can possibly drink. So there's one car,
the one Porsche I've driven. So I'm moving more towards where Mr. Cooper was. Disappointment.
There's one car, one Porsche I drove that I couldn't believe how clunky it was to drive.
And it's the best looking one ever made. It's the 3.6 Turbo 964.
That's true. That's true that.
So I've driven a few of them now. And if you kept in one, judged by monostandards,
they handle like a boat. The steering is abominable because it's got the heaviest airbag ever fitted
to a car. It's obviously got this 10 kilogram mass right where you don't want it. It's got
tragic turbo lag. And when it delivers its full boost, which it does for about 300 rpm,
you hang on for dear life, there's no traction control. Then you get out and look at it and you
think that's one of the best looking cars ever made. It's like meeting Mila Kunis and then
find out you've got terrible breath. You know, it's just so disappointing to look.
The driving experience doesn't square with the way it looks.
It doesn't. Not at all. It's wooden, heavy. Yeah.
They go for loads of money and I get it. But to draw, you can fix it quite quickly. Get rid of
the steering wheel, fit some modern suspension and get the energy to produce some power where it
might be useful. And then you might have something interesting. But we bought one at Autocar,
yellow one, suckly bought it. I remember that. I remember it was a bit of a disaster.
But I remember driving it the first time and thinking, everyone thinks this is brilliant.
But I think it's shit. And I think, if you told me to get down a road quicker than a
bloke in a Clio 182, I'd either die or lose. So, yeah, not impressive to me.
A lovely cool friend called Steve that's done exactly that to a 3.6, basically made it like a
Turbo S. Yeah. New steering wheel, new suspension, looks fantastic, drives fantastic now, but it's
a lot of work. Yeah. Worst. Okay. I think we've done our F1 round up. And I think we are now,
we're an hour and 11 in, we're going to go straight to the two car garage. We agree with that?
Yes. The two car garage this week. There's been some discussion around this subject.
But given that I sit in the chair, I will decide. I'm just, we're not going to give you a long
description, my fellow podcasters, you're going to be offered two dates. And they may or may not
have something to do with the fact that we're recording this at five o'clock on Wednesday,
because certain people here really enjoy association football and there's a match on tonight.
So the two dates you are given are 1986 and 1966. They think it's all over. It is now.
So choose your own narrative. You've got £66,000 to play with. Okay. I'm going to go first to Neil
Clifford. I just chose the two favourite cars of the 80s for me. They were both around in 86,
obviously. And God, I love the 80s. It was all ahead of me as opposed to behind me.
And those two cars, let me just get my little picture up. The first one is the BMW E30 for me
was a magnificent, gorgeous, fantastic. Still is a bit shit now to drive, but I think it travels
better than a 928. And I went for the most expensive one I could find on car classics,
just because the other car is not very expensive. So it's all the bits. It hasn't been sort of
messed up. Well, it has a bit, actually. Now I look to the pictures about three seconds ago,
but it's £40,000 bloody pounds. That's very expensive. And look at this. It's even got this
very rare. Look at this. Where's my bloody picture now? Exhaust pipe. Shit, I can't find it. I'll
find it in a minute. Yeah, look at that. Yeah. So I've discovered it has been messed around with
a bit. Anyway, it's manual. It's low mileage. It's the M Sport. It's got all the bits, but it hasn't
been chapped up too much. Although it's got bloody indicators now. What's this guy playing at?
Is that the motor sport version? God, I'm musty. I'm looking at it now. Yeah, it won't cost you
much. It won't cost you much to put it right, sir. And so I'm buying that. It's about £40,000.
Not money, actually, but anyway. And then, just to celebrate, Mr. Harris, really,
oh, this is 31,000 euros. So I think I'm just about in my budget because this is euros. I've gone
205. 205. To me, those are the two cars of the 80s. Peugeot 205 GTI. That's a 1.6. Who knows
whether that's better. I still prefer the 1.9. But because we had another year of the two-car
garage about 10 minutes ago, and we've changed to 86, I didn't have chance to find a 1.9. So I've
gone for 1.6. It does have the yellow lights because it's available for sale in France. Could
you get a 1.9 in 86? I don't think you could. I don't think you could because I was 87 or 88.
87 on an E was the first. Yeah, I was desperately looking. I couldn't find an 86, 1.9. No. Here's
a question for you. Could you get a Phase 1 interior on a 1.9? I think so, yeah. Could you?
I think so. Or do they say Phase 1.5? Would you bet me a million quid that you're right?
No, maybe it's Phase 1.5. Would you bet me your F40?
Probably not. What was the original brand of stereo in the 205 from New?
Barion. Yes. Come on. Ask us some more typical questions in future. Ask us one on sport.
Off you go. Okay. I'm going 1986. I'm definitely not getting a Detomaso for very obvious reasons.
The first car is this rather beautiful. Loads is Esprit S3 in British racing green.
That's a good one. That's a cool 80's car. I'm just mopping up.
For fuck's sake. So you have to get one of those. The second one, I think just to really get the
Englishness is this incredible, I think, white Morgan 4-4. Look at that.
Do you know, this is like, I don't like the Beatles. I don't like Morgans.
No, that's no. They're great.
What if you went to visit Morgan? I sure would.
If you went to visit Morgan, you'd buy one.
The new one, there was a new one parked outside. There's a rather lovely Greek restaurant Malibone.
Two Chinese guys got out of it and there were 50 women standing around going, what is that car?
They're so beautiful. Together, I've worked out £64,000. By the way,
Swiss Army Knife, I've remembered what one of the other, it was a ball pen.
It was. There was a ball pen. It was the last thing. There were four. I remember it was symmetrical.
God damn it. Ball pen. Anyway, moving on. How could you possibly write with that?
I've never seen anything like that. Exactly. For the map. It's for the map, isn't it?
Yeah. Chris Cooper.
I've already mentioned these cars. When I thought about them for the first one,
I'm just going to spend the whole of the rest of the evening looking at them. The first one is a
1986 Sierra RS Cosworth. Beautiful.
Look at that. I think it needs a little bit of recommissioning. I think it would be the expression
in the trade. It's only done 37,000 miles, but that's not guaranteed. It could be a million.
Could be. It's had two UK owners, originally UK supplied, then shipped to New Zealand,
and then it's just arrived back in the UK. Is it? It's slightly well travelled, but
it's very solid and it requires some recommissioning. It's sold as a restorable classic.
What could go wrong? What could possibly go wrong? That was that one. The other one,
if I can make the app sometimes. Here we go. There it is. It is a 1985
or SD1 Vitesse manual. I don't think it is the fabled twin plenum version.
I suspect they made 150 twin, maybe 200 twin plenum, and 300 of them have changed hands since then.
If I'd been wittier as a young man, I would refer to my thingy as a twin plenum.
Rather than an Ola Kalanius, nobody laughed at that joke when I tried it.
We did. We did. There we go.
That comes to just under 66,000 pounds. A bit of space for extra time.
I like that. I think of all the cars in the 1980s that I will always view as being
utterly bizarre, but remind me of the quirks of the 80s. It's one of these Bristol Briggans.
That's the one in Oak Green Metallic. The description of this car is just fantastic.
If you buy an old Ferrari through Classic K, you don't get a paragraph like this.
Further details include new Torbott Tagore headlights, which are correct for the model.
This car has notable media history, including the Honest John website.
I've read that about 20 times. It's a Briggan, isn't it?
I think it's utterly brilliant, don't you?
5.8, 5.99, it's a three-speed automatic, full of quirks, switchgear.
It's the only turbocharged. A Briggans turbo.
Is it?
Has it got single exhaust?
No, it's not. It's got twin exhaust. It says it's a 5.9-litre V8.
They put a turbo on the Briggan because the unturbied was called the Britannia.
There you go. Okay. I haven't read it closely enough. Anyhow, obviously,
my obsession with 205s will never end, so I have to have a 205. Now, this, when you see this picture,
one of you will want to buy this car. This is in France.
It's a 205 GT, which, as everyone knows, is the four-door version of my beloved XS.
It's a Phase 1 in red with steelys.
Look at that. We've got a pretty car.
Yeah. It is perfection.
Every line is Katrina.
Chanel cocktail dress of cars. It's everything a motor car should be.
That is a great.
So, those two combined are not that much money. They're £39,000 and £4,000,
so I've got plenty of money left to fit a second turbocharger to the Briggand,
which I'll be doing. Let's move on to some music, please.
I'm going to go first with Neil.
Okay, here we go. Touched by the hand of God, new order.
Oh, very good. Very good.
I'm going to ask Manage for a song now.
I'm going to go to my favorite song of 1982, The Model, by Kraftwerk.
Very good, Manage. Can we go to Chris Cooper, please?
I printed out earlier a list of the top-selling singles from 1986.
Don't you dare mention the word dollar. I'm cutting you off now.
Sadly, dollar is not in the top 39, which as far as my printout went,
because I didn't quite format the page properly.
I have the top one, which is one I don't leave me this way by the Communards,
was the best-selling single in 1986, and so it should have been.
Yeah, great song.
Very, very good song. I'll say a bit more modern. I did one of those.
I did a Shazam the other day.
Don't you like a cheeky Shazam when you hear something? I think that's quite good.
And it was an Instagram-y-type tune that was in the background.
I quite liked the cut of its jib, and it's called Golden Light,
and it's by a band that's called itself, well,
a bit like The Weeknd takes out some of the vowels.
This is S-T-R-F-K-R. You can work out what they call themselves.
I won't say the words here because it's rude, starfuckers.
Let's call time on this now because we've got a little bit of time to get to the pub to watch.
I don't like football, but it's really good that the country's
got a successful football team. It makes us feel better about ourselves.
And I look forward to seeing the fighting in the Arbun and Bristol after the match.
So from me, from Chris Cooper, from Managed Pandy, and from Neil Clifford,
that is Thank You and Good Night.
Oh, by the way, when you listen to this,
you will still be able to buy a ticket for the live podcast in Clapham.
So if your juices are flowing from hearing this,
and you think you want to hear more live, and you live near Clapham,
you can still turn up and buy a ticket, all right?
I think there's only three seats left, so be quick.
There are. So if you've got a McLaren F1, bring it, and two mates.
Sort it. Bye-bye.
About this episode
The hosts kick off with Goodwood and motorsport nostalgia, then drift into practical towing stories—complete with trailer-light connector quirks and tight-space reversing. The conversation turns to big-event impressions and historic driving moments, including Derek Bell in a 1968 Ferrari 312 and a hill-climb lineup featuring GT40s and F1 machinery. After plenty of car-magazine and media-production reminiscing, the episode pivots to the debate behind “worst ever Porsche,” focusing on the Porsche 928 and 964 Turbo’s driving disappointments.
