#2605: The Family That Parks Together

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Hello and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio.

With us, Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the etymology lab here at Car Talk.

We're going to talk about bugs?

I don't know who sent this. Yes, I do. Eric Schoenberg, perhaps?

Yeah, sure. The Washington Post Style Invitational asked readers to take any words from the dictionary

and alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and then supply a new definition.

And then they gave prizes, of course, and I have a few here that I'd like to share with you.

Go ahead. I'm sure there are going to be beauties.

Well, here's the first one. Sarcasm, but it's spelled S-A-R-C-H-A-S-M, sarcasm.

I like it. And it is the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.

Cool. Just to warm you up. Here's another one.

I'll tell you the word. You tell me what it means. Re-intarnation.

Re-intarnation. All right, I give up.

When you die and come back to life as a hillbilly. That's not bad. Here's another one.

Some of these I can't repeat, but the Doppler effect, D-O-P-E-L-E-R.

Okay, I'll cry uncle on that one too.

The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter if they come at you rapidly.

I like that.

And there's another one, which I'll just leave it up to you. Ignorance.

There's no...

There's no further discussion.

But clever. I love it.

You'd like to talk to us about your car or anything else for that matter.

Our number is 1-888-CAR-TALK. That's 888-227-8255.

Hello, you're on Car Talk.

This is Al Atherton in Nashville, Tennessee.

Hi, Al. Nashville.

So what's happening, Al?

Well, I have a question for you.

Okey-doke.

Okay. And based on a friendly discussion between my brother and I,

I almost turned into an argument, but I steer it away.

Brothers can be like that.

Is your brother younger than you or older?

No, he's older.

And he's probably a jerk, isn't he?

Well, then listen to what he says, you fathead!

Well, let's see if he's right this time.

He's really concerned that I drive his truck into the garage and for him

to park it too close to the wall and the truck can't be backed out of the garage

because I've parked it carelessly.

And I said, anytime you wheel something into something and you drive it into the garage,

you can back it out the same way it came in, as long as you don't slip on the pavement

or skid sideways or crawl or something like that.

So he said, no, no, you can get it in there and jam it in there wrong

and get it to where it won't come back out.

And I said, no matter how difficult it is, it's possible to back it out to the same track

it went in on.

What you're saying is you're pulling in and the one side of the vehicle is too close to the wall.

Yeah, and then it gets kind of trapped by an exterior wall that's outside the garage

where if you try to back out, it's tricky.

Why do you do this? Just to tick him off, huh?

No, I had to move his truck because I had to get mine moved out of the way or something like that.

Well, you know, I think that theoretically he's correct.

Oh, no.

Well, I think I'm working on it right now.

But don't forget when you pull in, it's the front wheels that are doing the turning.

Right.

And I think it is possible for you to get into a place where you can't get out.

I remember years ago.

I remember the same thing.

There you go. See there? That's it.

When I lived in Brookline.

My brother lived in Brookline, which is the town, in fact, where the station is located.

And after the show, he says to me, there's a guy who lives in my building whose car wouldn't start.

We have to give her a jump start.

And in this particular building that I lived in, the only way you could park was to pull down this little narrow,

what would you call it, alleyway with a 90 degree turn in it.

At one end.

Yeah.

No, in the middle.

In the middle.

Well, in the middle. That's right.

In the middle.

So you have to take a 90 degree turn to get into this thing.

And it was about as wide as the car.

So here I am driving my newly painted LTD, the one that was later to burn up in the hotel garage in Montreal.

That's an ill-fated car, wasn't it?

It was right from the beginning.

So Tommy says, hang a right, hang a left, hang a right.

We drive down this alleyway.

So we can jumpstart this girl's car.

And I remember it was Super Bowl Sunday.

And it was snowing.

And it was cold.

And it was miserable.

And I didn't want to be there.

So we jumpstarted her car.

And to add insult to injury, the car won't start because the battery's not dead because it went dead.

She drained the battery trying to start it because she was out of gas.

So we give up.

I throw the jumper cables in the back of the car.

He says, see you later.

And he goes home.

And I attempt now, because at the end of this alleyway is this little parking area to turn around and drive out.

But you can't.

But I can't.

But you could back out to the thing.

Right.

Well, you would think that, wouldn't you?

Well, I didn't know that I could back out.

Well, you would assume, yes.

In fact, that's the way out.

This is begging the question.

Yes.

I think you are right, Al.

I think if you can pull in, you can back out.

Don't forget, I pulled into the alleyway.

Yes, you did.

And I ended off, actually, we got out to peculiar way.

We ended up jacking up the car and pushing it off the jack to make it negotiate the turn.

Don't forget, it's snowing out.

It's dark.

And it's about five degrees.

Five degrees.

And the jack is about five degrees.

And we can't turn the car around because there's not enough room in this little lot.

And it's wedged in, threatening to damage my new paint job.

So we had to jack up the rear end of the car and push it off the jack so we could move

it over six inches.

And then we kept doing this until we finally negotiated the turn.

And then with tires of smoke, and I pulled out of there and made it home to see the last

quarter of the Super Bowl.

And you waited all this time to punish somebody for it.

And it's me.

But I think you, I'm going to stay on your side.

I think if you pull the thing in, the problem is that you know exactly how you turn the

wheel to get in there.

And if he does anything at all to the wheel to get out, or if you were real nasty, if

you pulled in and then turned the wheel after you stopped, he'd never figure it out.

But he'd have to recreate his own bad driving first and then my bad driving.

That's right.

Yeah, he would.

So I think theoretically it is possible for him to get into a mess that he can't get out

of, but tough.

Yeah.

That's what he gets for being a jerky older brother.

See ya, Al.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Thanks for calling.

Bye.

Okay, Tommy, instead of giving you the usual mental hernia by asking you if you remember

last week's puzzler, I'm going to help you stretch your puny little memory muscle gradually.

Are you ready?

Really?

Yeah.

Do you remember anything at all?

You remember last week?

For all the marbles.

Do you remember last week's puzzler?

Ouch!

I think I pulled something.

Oh man.

Don't do that to me anymore.

It was worth it.

We'll be back with the answer.

I was straining there.

I can see it in your face.

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Hi, we're back.

You're listening to Car Talk with us.

Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, and we're here, of course, to talk about cars, car repair,

and the answer to last week's puzzler, and here it is.

I'll get right to it because it's lengthy, and you know me.

Brevity is my middle name.

You got a letter in the mail predicting the winner of the heavyweight championship match.

I remember this one.

A few weeks before the event.

There is no other information, just that statement.

And you don't take it seriously thinking it's a prank from a friend, I guess,

and you find out, however, that the prediction is correct.

Then you receive subsequent letters predicting, a few days beforehand,

the winners of various contests or other events.

The letters correctly predict the winners of A, the heavyweight championship match,

the World Series, damn Yankees, how could you not predict that?

The NBA Finals, the presidential election, the World Chess Championship,

the NCAA Basketball Finals, and the Rose Bowl.

Pretty good, huh?

Excellent.

You are amazed that these letters are always correct in their predictions,

even though some are upsets.

Wow, this is great.

Somebody really knows something.

Shortly after the Rose Bowl, you receive a letter stating that if you send 10 grand

to a certain address, one week before the Super Bowl,

you'll receive a letter with the winner of that event.

The question simply is, should you use the 10 grand that you are about to invest

in the Tappet Brothers Capital Depreciation Fund and take a chance?

Why not?

Well, how could this guy who's sending you these letters,

we've got to assume it's a guy because women wouldn't do anything this nefarious,

how could he possibly be right all the time?

Wow, this is...

And if he had been right the first seven times, wouldn't you assume

that he'd be right the eighth time?

I would.

Well, you'd lose the 10 grand, you know.

Here's what he did.

I think this is a brilliant scam.

Man, it's brilliant.

He sends out 200, and let's put it for the sake of simplicity,

he sends out 256 letters about the heavyweight championship match.

What is that? Two to the what?

Yeah, the eighth.

One, two, three, eight.

Something like that, isn't it?

It is the eighth, yeah.

And he sends out 256, but half of them say,

Jack Dempsey's going to win the heavyweight championship,

and the other half, the 128 other ones say,

Evander Holyfield's going to win the thing.

And they weren't even fighting.

But he guessed the winner anyway.

So you get one of the letters perhaps that says

Evander Holyfield's going to win, and he wins.

So he sends out 256 letters, and 128 of those people

got a winning letter.

And the other 128 must be discarded.

He then takes the 128 and divides that in half,

so he sends out 64 letters about the next event,

and 64 letters with contrary results,

and he throws away half of them again.

And it just so happens that every time you're on the winner's side,

somebody has to be, in fact, half the people have to be,

until he gets down to one person.

He gets down to you.

He's been right every time.

Yeah.

See, and now he says to you, send me 10 grand,

and I'll tell you who's going to win the Super Bowl.

And you say, how can this guy lose?

Except you've got a 50-50 chance, which is exactly what you had

without the letter.

But see, wait a minute.

We have to discuss this for a minute,

because I think this is a legitimate scam.

It's legal.

I think he went about it wrong.

Oh, you do, huh?

The trouble was he didn't mail out enough.

Oh, exactly.

See?

Yeah, exactly.

He's got to mail out thousands of them.

That way, instead of asking for $10,000 at the end.

He's asking for $10,000 from hundreds of people.

No, $10,000 makes people think about it too much.

50 bucks.

50 bucks from thousands of people.

From many thousands of people.

Yeah.

I'm going to do this tonight.

There's got to be a law against this.

I hope.

I don't see.

I don't see why.

There will be by next week.

What are you doing?

That's illegal.

You're saying to people, look, if you send me 50 bucks,

I'll send you this letter, and you're going to fulfill that?

You're going to fulfill that?

That's why the prisons are full of guys like you.

I think it's great.

Do we have a winner this week?

Yeah, we do.

The winner is Mark Jurger from Salem, Oregon.

Good work, Mark.

And for having his answer selected at random from among the thousands of answers

that we got that were correct, Mark will get a $25 gift certificate to the Car Talk,

Shameless Commerce Division, with which he can get a copy of our brand new album,

Why You Should Never Listen to Your Father When It Comes to Cars.

It's a great stuffer.

Stalking, that is.

No, not a stalking stuffer.

It's for your turkey.

Turkey stuffer.

You give it to your father in his home, and he'll tell you what a stuffer I think.

We will have a new automotive.

Automotive?

Locomotive, because we're coming up with the third half of today's show.

So stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, you can call us and ask questions about anything.

We haven't had a quasi-automotive.

Well, this is not quasi.

This is locomotive, so to speak.

Our number is 1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 888-227-8255.

Hello, you're on Car Talk.

I'm Franklin, calling you from the Bronx in New York.

Franklin?

The Bronx?

Hello.

How you doing?

Got an unusual vehicle, I think, with an even more unusual problem, but I want to see what

you guys say.

Okay.

Type 181, Volkswagen, the thing.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

1974 model.

Yeah.

1600cc air-cooled engine.

Yeah.

We know it well.

Well, I have mine since 1977.

Yeah.

Already then, I was the third owner.

Wow.

Really?

So what's it doing for?

All right.

Here's what happens.

The chronic problem is, and it goes back so far, I can't even remember how long it's doing,

but it's doing it for a long time.

It almost always happens in warm weather.

It almost happens always on longer trips.

Here's what happens.

It putters out slowly.

I down gear from fourth gear.

It happens maybe 40, 50 miles an hour.

As I down gear, trying to keep it running.

So you're driving at 50 miles an hour, and all of a sudden, you notice that you're going

slower.

You're stepping on the gear, and nothing's happening, and the revs are dropping on the

tachometer.

Got it.

Perfect.

I down gear trying to keep it running, but the more revs go up, then it just dies.

Finally, I'm on the side of the road with a stalled engine.

Yeah.

Now, I know from past experience, I know exactly what's going to happen when I open

the gas cap, which is hard to open because there's a lot of resistance.

I get a strong sucking sound like this as I pull away the gas cap.

Yeah.

The vacuum in the gas cap neck.

Yeah.

Now.

You put the cap back on, and it starts right up again.

No, it doesn't.

Absolutely not.

Now, I found sometimes if I just sit and wait for 20 minutes or a half an hour, then it

will start.

Okay.

I got to get the whole scenario.

I got everything laid out here.

Here's what's going on.

Okay.

You have damaged the fuel pump by asking it to do something it was never designed to

do.

Right.

And that's the pump fuel out of a tank that's creating a vacuum as you consume the

fuel because the tank is not venting properly.

And what's happened is when the thing finally stops running, and the reason it doesn't restart

right away is you have to prime the system.

Now, you pump by itself will not pull enough fuel out of the tank for two reasons.

You've used up all the fuel that was in the line between the pump and the tank.

And when that vacuum finally took over and stopped the thing from running, it sucked

everything back into the tank.

And that's why in extreme situations, what I've done is taken a teaspoon full of gasoline,

put it in, stop the carburetor, and it would start.

Very good.

Because once you get the engine turning at 1,000 or 2,000 RPM, that pump is pumping so

fast that it will then suck the gas right out of the tank and it'll continue to run.

What you need to do is solve the ventilation problem.

But my thought was, why does it always happen in warmer weather?

I thought it was some kind of a vapor lock or something like that.

It could be vapor lock too, but it's not likely.

I think what's happening is you have ventilation block.

You have somewhere under the hood of that thing where the gas tank is.

You have a charcoal canister.

I do.

It's like a big can.

Yeah, that's it.

That's what's wrong.

And you know where it is.

I know where it is.

I never knew what it is.

Throw it away.

Well, you probably need to replace it.

Oh, really?

That's supposed to be responsible for absorbing fumes, vapors that come out of the tank when

the tank gets heated up rather, not when the engine is hot, but in warm weather.

Do beetles have that or just mine?

Yours has it too.

Beetles have it too.

So you can get this out of a beetle problem.

I knew you guys would know about this.

But that's what's wrong.

And it's not then allowing fresh air to re-enter the tank as you use up the fuel as you're

driving.

That's why it doesn't happen in the first five minutes you drive it.

It's so sporadic.

It's absolutely diabolical.

And the symptoms would be almost exactly the same as vapor lock.

That's what it reminds me of.

Yeah, so you need to get a new charcoal canister.

You need to take it to someone who's more than 20 years old and they'll go out and they'll

get you a new canister.

Like some elf under a tree someplace.

Exactly.

And you may have to replace the fuel pump because you may have weakened it by all of these repeated

failings.

Ah, I knew you guys would know how to solve this problem.

Well, it's always wonderful to help someone from New York.

Thank you very much.

We need all the help we can get.

Yeah, especially with that baseball team.

What's with them anyway?

They're one block away from where we're talking to you right now.

You're not a fan or anything.

Oh, not me, no.

I didn't think so.

No, I'm a Boston Red Sox.

There you go, man.

All right.

Hey, Franklin, thanks for calling.

Thank you a lot.

See ya.

Bye-bye.

One eight eight eight car talk.

That's the number to call if you want to talk to us right now.

Hello, you're on car talk.

Hey, this is Lydia Wiggins in Foley, Alabama.

Hi, Lydia.

Where are you from, Lydia?

Foley, Alabama.

Yeah, it's the southernmost part of Alabama.

Oh, really?

Yes, sir.

Cool.

How southern would that be?

Like in the Gulf of Mexico?

Yes, sir.

Actually, I'm about 10 minutes away from the beach.

I'm at school right now.

Oh, you are?

Yeah, Foley High School.

Foley High School?

Mm-hmm.

Foley?

FHS.

So you're cutting class?

No, sir.

I'm advertising editor of our school newspaper.

Ah, yes, I said you're cutting class.

No, no.

Why do you keep calling us sir?

It's a habit, I'm sorry.

Yeah, it's one of those southern things.

It is.

Yes, sir.

Wow, you're so well-mannered.

It's so wonderful.

Yeah, well, let's see if she's still well-mannered by the time we finish talking to her.

So go ahead, Lydia.

All right, I have a 93 Dodge Dynasty.

Did one of your grandparents leave this to you in a will?

Well, no, it's my dad's, actually.

Your dad?

He lets me drive it because he says I'm too young to have my own vehicle, which he's probably

right because usually is, but I'm not agreeing with him.

How young are you, Lydia?

I'm 16.

16.

Got it.

Okay, just checking.

Your father is still right.

You are still too young to have your own car.

Yes, sir.

He usually is right.

Stop calling me sir.

I'm sorry.

Okay, about the car.

I was at a red light one day and I was playing with my keychain and the key fell out of the

ignition.

But the car kept running.

Yes, sir.

I mean, I can, when it's in drive and I'm driving down the road, I can pull the key out of the

ignition.

I don't do it on a regular basis.

But you can.

Yes, sir.

I don't think I'm supposed to.

Well, you're not supposed to except the key is so worn out.

Oh no, it's not an old key.

It's not an old key.

But it's your very own copy, Lydia.

Yes, sir.

That was made at the hardware store from a very old original key.

So, you see, it's a combination of the key being worn out and the lock.

What the key goes into was a lock and then that lock is in turn connected to the ignition

switch.

But it's perfectly okay to have the thing fall out.

It's kind of nice because then you can leave the engine running.

In case you have to run into the house for something and the house is locked, ordinarily

you'd have to shut the engine off and then run into the house, unlock the door because

your house key is probably on the same key chain.

And this way you can just leave the engine running in case, for example, someone wants

to come and steal the car, it'll be already running for them.

Right.

They won't even need a key at all.

And it's possible that you may not even need a key to start the car.

Have you tried that?

Yes, sir.

Have you tried it with a screwdriver?

I haven't.

You do need the key to start it, right?

Yes, sir.

And nobody else's key, your father's key, for example, does not come out.

Oh, nice.

I don't think it does.

I haven't tried it.

Well, you don't let him really drive the car anymore, do you?

No, it's not his car.

See, he has.

I had to get me brake pads.

Oh, yeah.

My sons do that to me.

If there's something wrong with one of my vehicles.

Especially something that will cost money to repair.

They say, Dad, why don't you drive it into work today and see if it's making any funny

noises?

And if it is, fix them.

Well, actually, I do have a car.

It just doesn't run and it's starting to sink into the ground.

Yeah, I have one of them.

It's a 77 Lincoln.

And I'm scared of it.

How much you want for it?

My dad bought it for a dollar and it ran for two years.

I'll give him a hundred percent return on his investment.

A 77 Lincoln, huh?

Yes, sir.

It's a little big, isn't it?

Yes, sir, it is.

It's very, very big.

It scares me.

It's so big.

Yeah, no, you need it.

The dynasty's good for you.

You need at least a year behind the wheel of this dynasty.

Yes.

To get your feet wet.

And then you can get, then you can, if the Lincoln hasn't sunk down to the windows yet,

you can have it fixed up and drive it.

We're slowly rebuilding it.

Well, don't worry about the key because it has nothing to do with anything.

And if it troubles you, have another key made.

Yes, sir.

Lydia, it's been a pleasure talking to you.

You're such a well-mannered person.

Well, thank you.

Us Nordiners, we're just such boars and yahoo's compared to you Southerners.

Yes, we are.

We are.

We're just a bunch of ill-mannered jerks.

The right upbringing.

We don't.

In fact, I'm going to insist that my brother called me sir from now on.

Thank you, Lydia.

Oh, kiss my butt.

Thank you, Lydia.

It's been a pleasure talking to you.

You're welcome.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Hey, stick around for more calls and the new puzzler coming right up.

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Ha! We're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us. Click and click to tap it, brothers.

And we're here to discuss cars, car repair and the new puzzler.

Which you said is locomotive in nature.

Well, it is, I suppose. Here it is.

Yeah.

You have two trains on the same track.

Ah, it is locomotive in nature.

Speeding toward one another.

I had this problem in the eighth grade.

You did?

One of them's going 100 miles an hour.

No, no, no. I'm going to make it even simpler.

Yeah.

I'm going to make it simpler and I'm going to work the numbers, you know?

So you can do it in your head.

Will this require drawing a little picture?

I want to see all work.

All the work.

So if you're going to send an answer in, I want to see the work.

You want to see the work.

So the trains are 150 miles apart.

150, okay.

On the same track, but going clearly in opposite directions.

Always on the same track, aren't they?

You'd think they'd know by now.

Not to put two trains going in opposite directions on the same track.

So they're heading toward each other.

All right?

Yeah, I got it.

All right.

When they are 150 miles apart, a very fast B flies from the...

Now pay attention, dammit.

Yeah, okay, I got it.

Flies from the bumper of one train, the front bumper that is.

Yeah.

If trains even have bumpers.

Yeah.

To the front bumper of the oncoming train, the other train.

Of course, as soon as it gets there, without losing any time, it turns right around and heads back.

Yeah.

So as these trains are speeding toward each other...

You got it?

All right, I got it.

Stop it.

I was actually getting...

The B, the B flies at 137 and a half miles per hour.

Huh?

Really?

How far will the B have traveled before he is squashed like a grape?

A work between 150 tons of mangled steel.

Yeah, yeah.

That's the question.

How fast are the trains going?

I told you.

Didn't I?

No.

Didn't I...

I left that out?

You left that out.

I'm sorry.

You moron.

The trains are traveling at 75 miles an hour.

Are they?

Each traveling at 75.

That's better.

75 and 75, they started 150 miles apart.

That's very convenient.

And the B is flying at 137 and a half.

Oh, you had to make it that hard?

A mile an hour.

So the question is, how far does the B fly?

Fly from the bumper of the first one.

Back and forth.

And when you said the trains are 150 miles apart, we're going to assume that the front

of the train...

Of course.

Because if they're...

The business end of the train.

The rest of the train is more than 150 miles.

As far as the B is concerned, it's only the front of the train that counts.

That matters.

Okay.

So he's flying from the front of train A to the front of train B.

And then back to A, back to B, back to A, back to B.

And does he start at the precise moment that they both start?

Someone says go, at which point both trains start going, and they immediately go 75 miles

an hour.

They go from 0 to 75 in zero time.

No, they could already have been moving at 75 miles an hour.

And the B happens to start his journey.

The instant they were 150 miles apart.

I've got it.

So the trains have already achieved terminal...

And I mean terminal velocity.

Yeah.

So at the instant they crash, how far will the B, who's flying at 137 and a half miles

an hour have flown?

This is a great problem.

Zip.

You know the answer.

Zip it to us in the back of a $20 bill or smear it using leftover cranberry sauce on

a postcard and send it to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge.

Tower Fair City.

Matt, 02238, or you can email your answer from the Car Talk section of cars.com.

The number if you'd like to speak to us is 1-888-CAR-TALK.

That's 888-CAR-TALK.

Hello, you're on.

Car Talk.

This is Helen.

I'm calling from Gulfport, Mississippi.

Gulfport.

Got it.

Okay.

I'm having trouble with my car, with an exhaust smell.

Yeah.

It's a smell when I'm sitting in my car, like at a red light, and then I get ready to take

off.

It's a very strong smell of exhaust.

I took it to the Volvo dealer, and they told me, now get this, they told me, we think you're

smelling your own exhaust.

My dog does that all the time.

No, she's smelling others exhaust.

I'm sorry.

The imagery there was too strong.

Too strong, so to speak, to avoid.

I thought, well, that's brilliant.

I know I'm smelling.

No, no.

Yeah.

Because there's no other cars around.

And you said, well, duh, of course.

But they said, just close your air mixer and put it on Recirculate.

Well, I just don't feel that that's an acceptable answer.

Yeah, that's not an acceptable answer.

I don't like it.

I didn't think it was acceptable at all.

Well, it's really not that harmful.

I mean, we who work in the automotive industry, we breathe an exhaust all the time.

I rest my case.

I'm not expecting us at all.

How old is this piece of junk Volvo that you're driving?

It's such a wonderful car.

It's an 86, isn't it?

No, it's a 93 Volvo 850.

Well, the first thing you have to determine, Helen, is if it has an exhaust leak.

Well, they told me I didn't.

But, you know, how do you know that they did it right?

Well, see, if you're sitting there, the windows are open or closed.

Doesn't matter.

Well, the windows, I have them closed.

Usually have them closed.

So we assume they're closed and you're stopped at a red light in the middle of the desert in Gulfport.

And there isn't a single car around.

Right.

And you start to move.

How soon after you move?

Immediately.

As soon as you start to move, but if you don't move, you don't smell it.

Well, slightly, but not as strong.

And when this happens, which way is the wind blowing?

Lord, I don't know.

Well, I mean, what I'm trying to get at is what exhaust are you smelling?

And the assumption has to be that you're not smelling the exhaust that's coming out the end of your tailpipe.

I don't believe I am.

Of course not.

So you have to have some kind of an exhaust leak somewhere.

OK.

Well, first of all, that's my conclusion.

I'm not convinced that it's exhaust you're smelling.

Well, it may not be.

That's just what it smells like.

Well, here's what you need to do.

You need to run the car and you need to get out with the engine running and go back by the tailpipe and smell the exhaust.

And see if it's the same smell.

OK.

Because it could be something else.

See, other people tell you to stop and smell the roses.

My brother tells you to stop and smell the tailpipe.

Well, that makes sense, though.

So for the sake of argument, let's assume it's exhaust you're smelling.

I think it is.

I mean, she knows what it smells like.

OK.

And there are only two places really that it can enter your car.

OK.

I mean, in a car this new.

If you had a car like my brother's, there were about 500 places.

But in a car this new, it could be entering through the weatherstrip at the trunk.

At the trunk?

Yeah.

OK.

And it could be coming in there and infiltrating into the passenger compartment.

OK.

In which case you'd smell exhaust.

OK.

And that would only occur while you were moving.

OK.

So it's possible.

My brother has that sick look on his face.

Well, it's possible that what you are smelling came in from before you stopped.

OK.

Oh, I don't.

The dynamics are all wrong here.

No, they're not all wrong.

No, if you move forward, is the gas going to go forwarder?

Yes.

It could come backward.

Well, we can't go backward indefinitely.

There's a window back there.

It hits it and bounces off and comes.

See, I contend that it is coming into the car.

I ain't buying it.

Before Helen came to a stop.

I hope you have another idea, because this one I ain't buying.

Well, I do have another idea.

Yeah, this one stinks.

To high heaven, you should pardon the expression.

Well, I think that what you're smelling is not exhaust.

Rather, it's an oil spill of some kind.

And it's coming in through the ventilation system.

That's what's happening.

That's probably what's happening.

I would ask them to look for an oil leak that's dripping onto the front exhaust pipe.

OK.

Or maybe even the catalytic converter.

Some place near the front of the car.

And that aroma is wafting up.

And then as soon as you begin to go forward, that gets sucked into the air vents,

which are right on the cowl there in front of the windshield.

And boom, you get it within five feet.

You know, I have noticed it uses more oil than I would like.

So I wonder.

Oh.

I mean, come on.

I like it.

It doesn't take much of an oil leak to make a lot of smell.

But you will notice it won't smell like the stuff that's coming out of your tailpipe.

OK.

But it's similar.

It's offensive.

Yeah.

And brain cell damaging.

Well, hey, you know, people complain of the smell in my car.

Yeah.

Well, you better get it fixed because you'll be monosyllabic within a week if you don't.

Have you noticed any degradation in memory or rational functioning?

I think that's a good thing.

Do you listen to our show more often now than you used to?

That would be a sure sign.

Then it must be a sure thing.

See you, Helen.

OK, thanks.

Get that leak checked.

Good luck.

Bye-bye.

Well, it's happened again.

You've squandered another perfectly good hour or potential holiday cheer.

Oh.

Listening to cars talking instead.

What a shame.

Our steam producer has dug the subway fugitive.

How could he still be a fugitive after all these years?

Yeah.

hasn't Tommy Lee Jones heard of him yet?

Not a slave to fashion bourbon.

Our associate producer is Ken, the diaper slayer Rogers.

Our assistant producer is Frau Catherine Fenolosa.

Our engineer is Dennis Domenis Foley.

Our senior web lackey is Doug, the human all-terrain vehicle sheep boy mayor.

And our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor is the bugster.

Back from his world tour, John Bugsy donut breath did somebody say free lunch luller.

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assisted by statistician Margin O'Vara.

Our customer care representative is Hayward Jabuzoff.

Our director of cold weather starting as Martina never turn over.

I like it.

And our director of long range strategic planning, back from a significant hiatus,

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And now everyone knows her as Kay Saraw, Saraw.

Tom's personal matchmaker is Robin D. Cradle.

Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey, Cheetahman Howe, is Uluas Dewey.

Known to the cabbies in Harvard Square as Yui, the human speed bummer.

Thanks so much for listening.

We're clicking, clack, the tappet brothers.

Don't drive like my brother.

We'll be back next week.

Bye bye.

And now here is Car Talk Plaza's chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbaz.

Thank you very much now.

If you want a copy of this here show, which is number 48, just pick up your phone

and call this here number 1-888-CARD-JUNK.

And yes, that's really the number 888-CARD-JUNK.

And what if I wanted to get my father a copy of the new Car Talk CD, Vinnie?

Why you should never listen to your father when it comes to cars.

Would I call that very same number, Vinnie?

No, I think you just start transposing the box and chair to a flat into a gift shop.

And one will just jump out of the damn piano.

He'll dope.

Of course you gotta call the number 888-CARD-JUNK.

Or of course you can visit the Shameless Commerce section online at the Car Talk section of Cars.com.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, thank you, Vinnie.

That was well put.

Hey, put this all right.

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#2605: The Family That Parks Together

About this episode

1600cc air-cooled engine

fuel pump

carburetor

RPM

vapor lock

charcoal canister

Volkswagen Beetles

Dodge Dynasty

Lincoln Continental

exhaust smell

Volvo 850

exhaust leak

oil leak

catalytic converter

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