A lighthearted episode featuring the Tapper Brothers as they tackle quirky car questions and share amusing anecdotes. The show opens with a humorous story about a magician and a parrot on a sinking cruise ship, setting the tone for the fun discussions that follow. Listeners hear from callers like Joan, who drives a 1994 Festiva with a screeching noise, and Helen, who seeks advice on her 1970 Buick Skylark's radiator. The brothers provide entertaining insights while keeping the atmosphere lively and engaging.
Back in the day, local baseball hero for the Red Sox, Bill ‘Spaceman’ Lee took some of his bonus money and bought himself an old BMW that he still has and it’s giving him trouble. Can Click and Clack help Bill get the Bimmer started in exchange for tips on how to throw a better curveball? Find out on this episode of the Best of Car Talk.
"It's a 1994's Festiva. It has 80,000 miles on it."
The Ford Festiva is a small car that was made in the early 1990s. It's known for being affordable and good on gas.
The Ford Festiva is a subcompact car that was produced by Ford from 1986 to 1993. It is known for its small size and fuel efficiency, making it a popular choice for budget-conscious drivers.
"That's because the hamsters are applying extra torque to the flywheel."
The flywheel is a round part in a car that helps keep the engine running smoothly. It stores energy and helps the engine work better.
The flywheel is a mechanical component that stores rotational energy and helps to smooth out the power delivery from the engine. It is crucial for maintaining engine balance and efficiency during operation.
The Triumph TR4 is an old sports car from the 1960s that many car lovers admire for its style and driving experience. It's a fun car to drive and has a lot of history.
The Triumph TR4 is a classic British sports car produced from 1961 to 1965. It is known for its sleek design and spirited performance, appealing to enthusiasts of vintage automobiles.
"And he dropped the bolt into the transmission when he was working on it and blew a hole in the housing. So the only thing I'll let him do on the Fest is change my headlights when I need new lights."
The transmission housing is like a protective shell for the car's transmission. If it's broken, it can cause serious problems with how the car shifts gears.
The transmission housing is the outer casing that protects and contains the transmission components. If damaged, it can lead to significant issues, including fluid leaks and transmission failure.
"So the only thing I'll let him do on the Fest is change my headlights when I need new lights. So this guy has to live with the legacy of this stupid little bolt."
The Volkswagen Fest is probably a type of Volkswagen car or an event for Volkswagen fans. It's a place where people who love these cars come together.
The Volkswagen Fest is likely a reference to a specific model or event related to Volkswagen cars, often associated with enthusiasts and gatherings.
"Motor mounts are probably broken. The engine's going to fall out in the street tomorrow."
Motor mounts hold the engine in place in your car. If they're broken, the engine can move around too much, which can cause problems.
Motor mounts are components that secure the engine to the vehicle's chassis and absorb vibrations. If they are broken, it can lead to excessive engine movement and potential damage.
"...this beauty car is a 1970 Buick Skylark. Oh, really? And it's gray and has some chrome on it and 30,000 miles only."
The Buick Skylark is a car made by the Buick company, known for its classic designs. The 1970 version is a popular model among car enthusiasts because of its looks and performance.
The Buick Skylark is a classic American car that was produced by Buick from 1953 to 1998. The 1970 model is particularly notable for its stylish design and performance options, making it a favorite among collectors.
"But it has a slow leak of coolant. And the radiator also rests on a couple of things like made of rubber, little blocks down there."
Coolant is a liquid that helps keep the engine from getting too hot. It circulates through the engine and radiator to absorb heat and keep everything running smoothly.
Coolant is a fluid used in the cooling system of a vehicle to transfer heat away from the engine. It typically consists of a mixture of water and antifreeze to prevent freezing and boiling.
"But it has a slow leak of coolant. And the radiator also rests on a couple of things like made of rubber, little blocks down there. Yeah."
The radiator helps keep the engine cool by removing heat from the engine coolant. If it's leaking, it can cause the engine to overheat, which is a serious problem.
The radiator is a crucial component of a vehicle's cooling system, responsible for dissipating heat from the engine coolant. If it has a leak or is not functioning properly, it can lead to engine overheating and potential damage.
"Yeah, but the new radiator is going to spring the leak also if these rubber blocks aren't replaced."
Rubber blocks are small pieces made of rubber that help hold parts of the car in place and reduce shaking. If they wear out, it can cause problems with other parts.
Rubber blocks are often used as mounts or spacers in various automotive applications, including securing components like the radiator. They help absorb vibrations and provide stability.
"Removing the radiator from this car requires basically removing two transmission cooler lines, which is very easy to do."
Transmission cooler lines are pipes that help keep the transmission fluid cool. They move the fluid to a cooler part of the car to prevent the transmission from overheating.
Transmission cooler lines are tubes that carry transmission fluid to and from the transmission cooler, helping to regulate the temperature of the transmission fluid. This is important for maintaining proper transmission function and longevity.
"Yeah, I bought a car from you guys back in 7-0. I bought it from Beaconwood Motors, a 74 beamer."
The speaker talks about buying a BMW car from 1974. BMW is a well-known car brand, and cars from that year are considered classic or vintage.
The speaker mentions buying a car from 1974, specifically a BMW, which indicates a classic model from that era. BMW has a rich history of producing vehicles known for their performance and engineering.
"Well, my car's at the bottom of the hill. It's a 74 beamer."
A 'beamer' is a nickname for BMW cars. The speaker has a BMW from 1974, which is part of the E3 series, known for being a luxury sedan.
The speaker refers to their car as a '74 beamer', which is a colloquial term for a BMW from 1974, likely referring to the BMW E3 series, known for its luxury and performance.
"It's got the Alpina manifold with the Norris camshaft, the dual Weber carburetors."
A Norris camshaft is a part of the engine that helps control how the valves open and close, making the engine run better and faster.
A Norris camshaft is a type of performance camshaft that alters the timing and lift of the engine's valves, enhancing engine performance and responsiveness.
"It's got the Alpina manifold with the Norris camshaft, the dual Weber carburetors."
An Alpina manifold is a special part that helps the engine get more air, which can make the car go faster. It's made by a company that improves BMW cars.
An Alpina manifold is a performance intake manifold designed by Alpina, a company known for tuning BMW vehicles. It helps improve airflow to the engine for better performance.
"And you have tried all the usual things like spraying the cap, the rotor, and the wires. Yes."
The cap is a part of the ignition system that helps send electricity to the engine's cylinders. If it's broken, the car might not start or run smoothly.
The cap, often referred to as the distributor cap, is part of the ignition system that houses the rotor and helps distribute the electrical current to the correct cylinder. A faulty cap can lead to misfires and starting issues.
"And you have tried all the usual things like spraying the cap, the rotor, and the wires. Yes."
The wires are the parts that carry electricity from the ignition system to the spark plugs. If they're damaged, the car might not run properly or start.
The wires, often called ignition wires or spark plug wires, carry electrical current from the ignition coil to the spark plugs. Damaged wires can cause misfires and starting problems.
"But the big thing is, I'll get it going, and then it'll run really rough, and then it'll come, it'll die, and then it won't start again. Right. And I'm wondering if it's the rotor, because I'm going through rotor caps real quick."
The rotor is a part of the car's ignition system that helps send electricity to the spark plugs. If it doesn't work well, the car might run poorly or not start at all.
The rotor is a component of the ignition system in a car that distributes electrical current to the spark plugs. If it's worn or damaged, it can cause rough running and starting issues.
"Have you ever replaced the coil? That's a good question. No, because that was..."
The coil is a part of the car's ignition system that helps create the spark needed to start the engine. It takes the battery's power and boosts it to a much higher voltage so that the spark plugs can ignite the fuel.
The coil, or ignition coil, is a crucial component in the ignition system of an internal combustion engine. It transforms the battery's low voltage into the high voltage needed to create a spark at the spark plug, igniting the air-fuel mixture in the engine's cylinders.
"I've got pretty good spark to the spark plug. So you know you're getting good spark out of the coil and to the plugs?"
Spark plugs are small parts in the engine that create a spark to ignite the fuel and air mixture. They help the engine start and run smoothly.
Spark plugs are essential components in gasoline engines that ignite the air-fuel mixture. They create a spark that ignites the mixture, allowing the engine to run efficiently. Proper functioning of spark plugs is crucial for engine performance.
Weber's are a type of carburetor used in some cars. They help mix air and fuel for the engine, and many car enthusiasts like them for better performance.
Weber refers to a brand of carburetors known for their performance and tuning capabilities, often used in performance and racing applications. They are popular among car enthusiasts for improving engine efficiency and power.
"Well, it could be that the Weber's, if I'm not mistaken, have a temperature compensator in them, and it could be that when you are, that temperature compensator isn't working..."
A temperature compensator helps your car's engine run better by adjusting how much fuel and air it gets based on the temperature outside. This is important for keeping the engine running smoothly.
A temperature compensator is a device in carburetors that adjusts the fuel-air mixture based on the temperature of the incoming air. This helps maintain optimal engine performance under varying conditions.
"Well, I've got a 1986 Honda Accord fuel injected, and what it does is driving out in California..."
The Honda Accord is a well-known car that many people trust for its reliability. The 1986 version is part of a series that was designed to be efficient and easy to drive.
The Honda Accord is a popular midsize car known for its reliability and fuel efficiency. The 1986 model represents a generation that was well-regarded for its innovative design and technology, including fuel injection.
"To fix it, there is a cooling fan timer device, which works in conjunction with the fan and the switch that's in the radiator. You can probably find one at an auto recycling center."
The cooling fan timer helps keep your engine cool by making sure the fan runs for a while even after you turn off the car. This is important to prevent the engine from getting too hot.
The cooling fan timer is a device that controls the operation of the cooling fan in a vehicle. It ensures that the fan continues to run for a set period after the engine has been turned off, helping to cool the engine and prevent overheating.
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Hello, and welcome to Car Talk from National Public Radio, with us clicking-clack the Tapper Brothers.
And we're broadcasting this week from the Avian Prestidigitation Center here at Car Talk Plaza.
I wish I could remember who sent this to us, because I don't have the piece of paper in front of me,
but I'll just tell you the story.
Here's the story.
This magician gets a job on a cruise ship, and he soon realizes that he doesn't have to come up with a new set of tricks every week,
because what? Different audience every week.
People get off the boat, 3,000 more people get on.
Except the captain has a parrot, and the parrot sits there through all of his shows,
and the parrot pretty soon learns all the tricks.
And being a parrot, a troublemaker, the parrot starts yelling out stuff.
So in the middle of a trick, the parrot says, it's under the table.
And he says, it's in his other hand.
So pretty soon, the poor guy is devastated.
He's ruined.
And he's got to come up with all new tricks.
And on the way back to port, the ship hits something.
Not an iceberg, but it's a cruise ship, unless you go to Alaska, which would be stupid.
The ship hits something and goes down.
It's a garbage scowl.
Garbage scowl.
So the ship goes down.
And wouldn't you know it, the parrot and the magician find themselves clinging to the last little bit of debris.
And then the magician is on one side holding on, and the parrots on the other side hours go by,
and they're just staring at each other, staring at each other.
Finally, the parrot says, OK, I give up.
Where's the ship?
I liked it.
I did too.
If you have a joke for us or you want to talk about your car, the number is eight.
That's a good way to...
We should start the show with a joke every week.
Some say that the show isn't jokes.
The number is 1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
Hi, this is Joan from Lamont.
Let us figure out where Lamont is.
Lamont must be in Vermont.
No.
I have to guess Pennsylvania.
It's in Illinois.
I knew that.
I was just testing New Jones.
Lamont, Illinois.
Yes.
I won't ask where in Illinois because it doesn't matter to me, frankly.
I don't know anything about Illinois, nor do I care to learn any more than I know already.
Oh, it's a nice state.
Well, maybe it is.
I don't care.
Chicago is pretty neat.
But that's about all we know.
That's in Illinois?
Well, we're near Chicago.
Oh, you are?
Well, that makes you all right then.
Oh, thanks.
So what's up, Joan?
Okay.
I drive the Needless Little Car.
It's a 1994's Festiva.
It has 80,000 miles on it.
And it does this really weird thing.
When I'm accelerating from a stop sign or a stop light or when I'm turning the wheel,
it makes this really loud screechy noise and everybody looks at me.
It happens when you're accelerating and when you're turning the steering wheel.
Yes.
Oh, that's because...
That's a class.
That's because the hamsters are applying extra torque to the flywheel.
I mean, we know what this is, but I have to say that the Festiva...
I mean, you love this car.
Joan obviously loves it.
She loves it.
And I'm not going to say anything bad about it.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
My kids do.
They make fun of it all the time.
Our friend, Phil Bertone, has lived his entire life driving Festivas of one kind or another.
He probably has had 10 of them, usually all at one time.
It's on the one a month program.
And it's amazing.
I mean, he now has a band and the entire band and all their instruments travel into Festiva.
Drums, stand-up bass, unbelievable little car.
Well, you know, my son is a percussion player and we have fit the drums in the Festiva.
There you go.
Yeah, I know.
We have.
Well, it's an efficient use of space.
Yes, it is.
It certainly is.
And it's fun.
But it's a little embarrassing to drive it.
Now, my husband, he thinks he's a mechanic, but he isn't.
He says, I need new belts.
Yeah, that's what we would say, too.
Oh, really?
Your husband's right.
Oh, he's right.
Yeah, he's right.
You don't have belts up, plural on this car.
I don't think.
Oh, there's only one?
No, I think it's suspenders that the Festiva comes with.
Thank you very much.
Do you have air conditioning?
Oh my gosh, no.
Are you kidding?
You have power steering.
I don't think so.
Yeah, you probably have power assist.
Yeah, you must.
Oh, I might.
I don't have airbags.
I know that.
Airbags?
No.
You have a couple of shopping bags.
Fill them up with pillowcases.
Yeah, no, it sounds very much like a loose belt or a glazed belt.
Oh, so nothing really serious.
Like a glazed donut.
Yeah, no, I don't think it's anything too serious.
I think your husband's right.
Now, why did you doubt him, Joan?
I'm not going to tell him he's right.
No, I will.
What are you going to tell him?
Well, see, before I knew him when he was 18, he had this really cool TR4.
Oh, yeah.
And he dropped the bolt into the transmission when he was working on it and blew a hole in
the housing.
So the only thing I'll let him do on the Fest is change my headlights when I need new lights.
So this guy has to live with the legacy of this stupid little bolt.
Stupid.
I mean, how many years ago was that, 20?
Yes, almost before we even knew each other.
Before you.
And so he has to live with the sin on his, he's got a big A on his chest because of this?
Well, yeah.
I mean, would you let him?
I won't say what the A stands for.
But yeah, I don't want him, you know, dropping a bolt in my transmission.
I mean, give the guy a break.
He may have learned a lot in the last 20 years.
I'm sure he has.
I'm sure he has.
What does he do for a living?
Is he like like a rocket scientist or something?
No, no.
He's the director of music at a high school.
He doesn't know anything about mechanics.
Keep him away from your car.
Change the belt, Joan.
That's all it's going to need.
Oh, gosh.
Thanks, guys.
That's terrific.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Thanks for calling.
Motor mounts are probably broken.
The engine's going to fall out in the street tomorrow.
I saw Bertone just a few weeks ago.
He's got another Festiva.
He does, huh?
I jokingly said, so what year Festiva are you driving now?
He said 92.
Well, I figure he's doing a thing like the Hunt Brothers tried to do with silver.
Yeah, that's it.
Corner of the market and pretty soon he's going to drive the price up.
You won't be able to get one for 300 or 400 bucks.
Which is probably triple what he paid for.
1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-227-8255.
Hello here on Car Talk.
Hi there.
My name is Helen and I live with my car in Greenwich, Connecticut.
You live in the same building with your car?
I do, too.
Yes, you are.
You betcha.
Well, see, I live in the garage.
Oh, I see.
Well, the garage is attached.
Oh, I live right in the garage, right next to the car.
Well, Tommy's house and garage used to be attached, but his wife and the contractors take care of that.
They moved the garage.
They moved the garage.
They put up this big cement wall with no doors, gates or anything.
They had to truck in the pieces.
They had to ship them from Berlin.
Something about that they didn't need it anymore.
Yeah.
But I do visit occasionally.
You know, she invites me to dinner once in a while.
That's nice.
Not often.
When the dogs don't finish.
Where are you from, Helen?
Greenwich, Connecticut.
Greenwich.
Yeah.
Got it.
Look, this beauty car is a 1970 Buick Skylock.
Oh, really?
And it's gray and has some chrome on it and 30,000 miles only.
Wow.
Was this the car that you bought new?
Mama did.
And in the glove compartment is the owner's manual.
You know, all that good stuff.
But it has a slow leak of coolant.
And the radiator also rests on a couple of things like made of rubber, little blocks down there.
Yeah.
And one of those is eroded.
And so the radiator tilts slightly.
That's probably why it's leaking.
The mechanic wants to give me a new radiator.
Yeah, but the new radiator is going to spring the leak also if these rubber blocks aren't replaced.
I mentioned that.
I showed him that and mentioned it to him.
And he said, well, we can do something about that.
I don't know what he's going to do.
Sure.
But they're not very big.
No, no, no.
He can make something.
But it looks to me like they have to take the whole front end of the car apart to get a new radiator in.
No.
And everything's running gorgeously.
And should I do it?
No, no, they're not going to take all the car apart.
The radiator is pretty straightforward.
Oh.
Removing the radiator from this car requires basically removing two transmission cooler lines, which is very easy to do.
Two hoses.
And two radiator hoses and two bolts.
Oh.
Yeah.
I think that's a go ahead signal for me.
Oh, absolutely.
I mean, this is a job that we'll take him.
I mean, considering that he's going to have a cup of coffee in one hand and a wrench in the other hand.
He quoted me.
An hour.
He quoted me $330.
We found it okay to me.
Including the labor and anti-freeze and all that.
And making the new blocks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go for it, Alan.
Oh, hey.
Go wait another minute.
I mean, this job is so simple that we used to allow my brother to do this.
That's right.
To the shop.
I mean, this is the one job.
Whenever we got 70 Skylox and the radiators, we put Tommy right on them.
And I used to just wait around until someone came in with a 70 Skylox.
Right.
And then he got smart and he said, well, look, I'll be home.
Listen, I joined talking to some guys from MIT on my little problem.
Great.
Bye-bye.
Thanks for calling.
Bye-bye, Alan.
And it's not an average MIT student or graduate who can solve any problem.
I'll render misinformation on any problem.
All right, Tommy, do you remember the only puzzler of the new millennium to date?
There's only one to remember.
I know you can do it.
All right.
You mean this current millennium?
Yeah.
Like for example, this one astronaut who went to the moon, you know what he's not into?
Space.
Was it cool to float around weightless?
No.
No.
No.
This American life, unexpected stories, wherever you get your podcasts.
There is a long history of misinformation about autism from accusations about bad parenting
to RFK Junior's false allegations that Tylenol has something to do with it.
But science is getting closer to truly understanding what drives autism.
It looks like there are hundreds of genes that are involved.
To find out what the research actually says about autism and what we still don't know,
listen to Shortwave in the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.
I love it.
Yeah.
Oh.
You're done for.
It's pushing the flames in your direction at a rate of say two miles an hour.
Yeah.
So if you run to the other end of the island, you got five hours until it reaches you,
and you know that everything on the island is going to be toasted, including you, unless
you think quick.
Yeah.
And don't forget what you got.
You got a flashlight.
Let me look at that.
Let's go back to the list.
What do you got?
A life-size poster of Ginger Grant.
Right.
A flashlight.
Right.
A box of matches.
A lot of good things to do.
The island's already on fire, right?
And a space blanket.
Space.
And a case of San Pellegrino.
How big is the case?
Is it like a thousand gallons?
No, it's a case.
12 bottles.
6, 8, 12 bottles?
Yeah.
Okay.
You could douse yourself with the San Pellegrino, right?
Yeah.
No, that's not going to last long.
That's not going to work.
No, you'll be burned out.
You could douse the space blanket, but it won't absorb any of the water because of what?
Space blanket.
Right.
You could cover yourself with the space blanket and hope that the trees leave enough oxygen
behind for you to breathe.
You could do all those things.
However, you save yourself with the matches.
You turn around with your back to the fire.
Yeah.
And you light on fire the grass in front of you.
The same wind that's blowing that fire toward you is going to blow the new fire toward the
end of the island and leave behind a place where there's nothing combustible.
Oh, man.
This is great.
And you'll escape.
You'll only last two more days because there'll be nothing to eat on the island and you'll
be dead.
But you'll have gotten two more days.
And you would have won the puzzler.
That too.
And every firefighter knows that this is a classic firebreak.
Yeah.
This is great.
Yeah.
Ken Rogers said, as soon as your light-tent match, the wind changes direction.
And then you're really done.
So who's our winner, Tommy?
Yeah.
The winner is the guy on the island whose name is, oh, Margaret Reynolds.
That's a funny name for a guy.
Right?
From Ocean Springs, Mississippi.
And for having her answer selected at random from among those thousands of correct answers,
our pal, Margaret, is going to get a $25 gift certificate to the Cartok Shameless Commerce
Division, with which she can buy any of the returned Cartok merchandise that's been piling
up here for the last couple of weeks.
Oh, man.
And anyway, we'll have a new automotive, non-automotive, quasi-automotive.
No.
None of the above.
I'll go for quasi.
Quasi.
You can always make it quasi.
We'll have a new quasi-automotive puzzle coming up in the third half of today's show.
So stay tuned for that.
In the meantime, you can call us and ask us questions about the car of your choice.
Our number is 1-888-CAR-TALK.
That's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're in Car Talk.
Hi, guys.
It's Bill Lee in Craftsbury, Vermont.
Bill.
Webb, Vermont?
Bill Lee, Craftsbury, Vermont.
Craftsbury?
Yeah.
You're not the same Bill Lee that used to pitch for the Red Sox.
Great so.
Are you really?
Yeah, I bought a car from you guys back in 7-0.
You did like how...
I bought it from Beaconwood Motors, a 74 beamer.
Beaconwood.
Yeah, I want to give it back to them, but they don't exist anymore.
I think they're out of business.
For those of you that don't know it, Bill Lee was the star left-hand pitcher for the Red Sox in the 70s.
I remember the name.
I never left.
You never left, huh?
Yeah, but now you're in Vermont.
Yeah, I was deported to Canada back in 78.
Well, you were called, maybe aptly, or in aptly, the Spaceman.
Why?
Why?
Because I'm not from this planet.
Also, it was corrected that you should be called the Spaceman.
We're all Spaceman.
We're only visiting for like 70, 80 years and we're out of here.
Oh, you're absolutely right.
Yeah, but the way I've always lived my life, which is contrary to, I guess, what would be called management ideas.
Well, we knew that.
I was always well loved by the fans.
Let's put this way.
If I go to Boston, I never have to buy a beer.
Great.
Yeah.
So now you're stuck up in Craftsbury?
Yeah, Craftsbury.
I'm not stuck up here.
It's a place that we don't let anyone know where it is.
Okay, then don't tell us.
So what are you doing these days besides playing baseball?
Well, I've got a sugar bush up here with the reed farm and we make maple syrup.
I make wood bats.
I raise chickens.
I've got a five-year-old daughter.
Cool.
Yeah, so I just, I tinker around.
I do this.
I do that.
I'm kind of like you.
People call me and they have problems with their kids like they're out of a line.
Out of alignment, yeah.
And I do alignment problems on them.
So what do you call us about?
Well, my car's at the bottom of the hill.
It's a 74 beamer.
Oh, it's the same car?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's got the Alpina manifold with the Norris camshaft, the dual Weber carburetors.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's always been finicky, but only most of the time it's when the temperature's freezing,
it runs fine.
If it's hot, it runs fine.
It's when it goes from freezing to warm, I have a lot of difficulties.
And then I use as much WD-40 as I can.
And what do you do with this WD-40?
I spray it on all the wires inside the rotor cap, distributor, and usually it'll get going again.
Oh, so when it gets, when it goes from being cold to being warmer, it won't start?
Yes.
Is it worse if it's accompanied by damp weather?
Yes.
Aha.
And you have tried all the usual things like spraying the cap, the rotor, and the wires.
Yes.
And maybe even replacing them at some time or another in the last 25 years.
I have once, and probably have to do it again.
But the big thing is, I'll get it going, and then it'll run really rough, and then it'll
come, it'll die, and then it won't start again.
Right.
And I'm wondering if it's the rotor, because I'm going through rotor caps real quick.
You are?
What happens to them?
The contacts get all black?
Yes.
And that happens within like 5,000 miles?
Yes.
Why do I ask him those questions?
Never ask a question if you don't know the answer to it.
My lawyer tells me.
Wow.
Yeah.
And so if you clean off those contacts, will it start?
No.
No.
Have you ever replaced the coil?
That's a good question.
No, because that was...
I've been checking the spark to the coil, and I've got pretty good spark there, and I've
got pretty good spark to the spark plug.
So you know you're getting good spark out of the coil and to the plugs?
Right.
Well, when it's running, you do.
Yes.
But when it's not running, you're not so sure of that.
I'm going to suggest that you have a cracked coil tower.
You are, huh?
Yeah.
I asked all those brilliant questions.
I was going to go the other way.
Really?
Go ahead.
I was going to go with the Weber's.
Well, the Weber's are leaking.
You're right.
I had a couple of backfires and burned up a few things.
How many acres of woodland?
It was one of those inopportune times when I was having wood delivered, and all of a
sudden I was trying to start the car to facilitate the moving of the wood.
And I looked back and my engine was on fire.
Oh, well.
Those are small things.
Those are small things, yeah.
Well, it could be that the Weber's, if I'm not mistaken, have a temperature compensator
in them, and it could be that when you are, that temperature compensator isn't working,
and as the weather warms up, you're running way too rich, and even though you have good
spark, you have fouled plugs.
I think you're right.
And I'm going to suggest that if you took out the plugs and didn't take change the rotor
cap and put plugs in it, it would probably fire right up.
I like that.
Which may be cheaper.
You might be able to buy like a case of plugs.
Yeah.
For the price of fixing the temperature compensator.
Well, my five-year-old is starting to destroy this phone call.
He is.
All right.
We'll let you take care of him.
Next time it happens.
Hey, Bill.
There she goes.
Hey, Bill, the Red Sox is going to need you this season, so start warming up, will you?
Hey, I have already won the Over 50 World Championship this year.
Is that right?
This is right.
I've voted the best over 50 ball player in the universe.
Well, they may need you, so get ready for spring training.
Clean up your spikes.
Thanks.
See you, Bill.
Thanks for calling.
Take care, boys.
See you soon.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Oh, he was the best on the planet over.
What planet?
Well, he is a space man.
We don't know what planet.
But Bill Lee was a big star for the Red Sox, and we're hoping that he comes back and bales
them out this year, because they're going to need some pitching.
I mean, why would a guy over 50 not be eligible to play, just because he...
He's collecting his pension already.
He's up there sucking sugar out of trees.
Well, good luck to you, Bill, wherever you are.
All right, look, it's time to take a short break.
Oh, man.
Thank God.
I've been working for like 20, 15, 20 minutes now.
Great.
We'll be back with this week's new puzzler in just a minute.
It's called an AI spiral, when a person communicating with an AI chatbot loses touch with reality.
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We're back.
You're listening to car talk with us.
Click and clack the tap it, brothers, and we here to discuss cars, car repair and the new puzzler.
What you said would be quasi automotive.
I did.
So here it is.
Actually, I stole this.
What is that little book?
What is that?
It's an advanced copy of a puzzle book.
See what it says here?
Advanced, uncorrected proofs.
The answers could be all wrong.
I'm sorry.
What does that say there?
Advanced, uncorrected.
What if they had all the answers right but in the wrong place?
Oh, fudge.
Well, this is a little book by Terry Stickles and there's a forward in here by Will Short.
Everyone knows Will Short.
Will.
Yes.
Frostmite.
The middle name.
Will Frostmite.
Of course, it's the puzzle editor of the New York Times and a frequent visitor to National Public Radio.
Anyway, here's the puzzle.
Yeah.
You've been invited to go on a camping trip in the woods with 25 or 30 of your closest buddies
and you've rented a cabin in the woods.
Got it.
You got it?
Yeah.
Okay, so you're piling your cars.
This is the automotive part.
And you drive to the woods.
You drive to the cabin in the woods.
We're finished with the automotive part now?
Yeah.
You get out of the car and it becomes non-automotive.
There you go.
Got it.
The next morning, everyone gets up and decided that Cookie is going to make a homemade pancakes
for everyone, but he needs to add to the recipe two gallons of water.
Exactly two gallons of water.
So you are sent to the well to fetch two gallons of water with no, what, measuring device.
Oh.
You get to the well.
Yeah.
And you discover there are two jugs there.
One says 13 gallons.
And the other says seven gallons.
How can you, everyone knows this kind of puzzle, right?
Sure.
You put one in the other.
Wait, do you also have a book of matches and a space blanket?
Yes.
If a book of matches, a space blanket and a full-size poster of ginger grins.
And a gallon jug of San Pellegrino water.
So you have no measuring devices except the 13 gallon and the seven.
And the seven in your job, if you choose to accept.
Yeah.
Is to come back with exactly two gallons of water.
Wait a minute, no.
Did you go empty-handed?
You went to the well to get water.
So you don't have another container.
No, you don't have another vessel.
That was my question.
You could carry the two gallons back in your undershorts.
But you're going to use one of these vessels to carry the water back to the, right?
After you've measured it so precisely.
After you've measured it precisely, exactly.
Wait, can you make two trips?
No, you can't.
The jugs are very heavy.
You're going to need a hernia operation.
Heavy, they're only a gallon.
8.33 pounds.
The empty jugs, they're earthenware jugs.
Actually, the jugs are made from spent plutonium.
And you have a bad ticker.
And you've got a bad ticker, a bad back and a bad front.
So you're allowed one trip.
You got it?
Yeah, I got it.
And you can't take your car because the automotive portion of the puzzler is over.
It's not over.
Can you leave the room for now on when I do the puzzler?
I love it.
Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on the back of a $20 bill or a picture of
Carlos Santana and send it to Puzzler Tower.
Yeah.
Car Talk Plaza.
Yeah.
Box 3500.
Harvard Square, Cambridge.
Tower, Fair City.
Mass 02238.
Or you can email your answer from the cartalksectionofcars.com.
If you'd like to call us, the number's 1-888-CARTALK.
That's 888-227-8282-5.
Hello, you're on Car Talk.
This is Gene from Tower, Minnesota.
Tower?
Tower, Minnesota.
Minnesota.
Like Sears Tower.
Yeah, look at that.
That one.
Boy, you were unmistakably...
You have the classic Minnesota accent or whatever they call it.
Can you say Minnesota again?
Minnesota.
Minnesota.
Right.
That's great.
You were born there, obviously.
We kind of sound like Canadians here.
I mean, you don't get this in a couple of years of living in Tower, Minnesota.
You've lived there pretty much all the time that you've been alive.
Right?
Well, I spent 15 years in Ohio.
Same thing.
Yeah, come on.
So, what's cooking?
Well, I call because I listen to your show all the time and I never have any mechanical
problems to call you with because my husband trades our cars in all the time.
Really?
Well, about every 18 months to 24 months.
You must be loaded, huh?
Because we put so many miles on them.
He says that they will depreciate too much if we wait too long.
How many miles do you put on them?
Probably about $45,000 a year.
That's a lot of miles.
Yeah, so he trades them in when they're about $68,000.
Something like that.
Yeah.
Oh, so you're doing everything possible to get the hell out of Minnesota every chance
you get.
Is that it?
No.
Oh, just asking.
Are you guys driving like to Vegas every weekend?
Don't pry into the woman's personal life.
That's fun though.
Well, he likes to trade everything in and I'm just worried that I might be next.
Well, that's the point, isn't it?
I mean, that's important.
I mean, people who turn in their cars every year and a half, they don't have attachments
to many things.
If you can't get attached to a car.
I know, I'm worried about the kids.
I'm worried about myself.
The kids, yourself, everything.
The house.
What am I going to do?
Oh, no.
I think the fact that he is trading all this stuff in means that he's saving his attraction
for you.
Oh, man.
Yeah, that's what I tell my wife because I trade everything in all.
And the reason the car's got 45,000 miles on it is not that he's got a girlfriend in
Michigan.
No, he's a salesman.
He's got a girlfriend everywhere.
Everywhere.
Come on.
Come on.
Enough of this fooling around.
It's a long distance between cities up here in the Northwoods.
So what's the question?
My question is, should we be doing this or should we be keeping our cars longer than
that?
Do it.
Do it?
Yeah.
That's the easiest answer.
Well, I mean, it costs you money.
But first of all, if he's a salesman, does someone else sort of help buy the new car?
Does someone subsidize that?
Oh, he pays for it himself.
No, no.
He has his own company.
So they're.
Oh, so the company.
It's the company car.
Well, there's two of them.
Sure.
Yeah.
A personal kind of business.
I mean, if you're going to put 90,000 miles on a car in two years, I mean, if you were
literally trying to save money only, if money was your only consideration, it does not make
sense to sell a two year old car to buy a new one.
No.
On the other hand, if you're on the road for 45,000 miles a year, then money isn't your
only consideration.
Reliability is a more important consideration, in which case he's doing probably exactly
the right thing, and maybe he should be trading it in even sooner.
Okay.
Yeah, maybe he could have a new car waiting at every stop.
No, he's got to kind of figure it out.
I mean, if he does it like every year and a half.
Right.
So he's up to like 65,000, 70,000 miles on the car.
That's about the right time to do things.
Okay.
Yeah, because that's the time when things are going to start to break, and if he really
needs the car every day, which it sounds like he does, then you can't get stuck someplace
getting a water pump replaced and miss, you know, meetings with clients and such.
Yeah, and all your girlfriends will miss you.
Exactly.
It's important to have the tar at the ready, so he's doing the right thing.
Okay.
It sounds stupid, doesn't it?
But it's the right thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
But you never get to drive the car anyway.
Well, I do.
We, you know...
Don't.
The IRS could be listening.
Gene, you never drive the car.
The car is 100% used for business.
Right.
Right.
The only time you drive it is to take it to the car wash.
Right.
Right.
And he pays you to do that.
Right.
Right.
You're on the payroll.
Right.
Okay, good.
Let me get that established.
See you, Gene.
Good question.
Bye.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Minnesota.
I love it.
I love it too.
1-888-CAR-TALK.
I love it.
Yeah, you betcha.
That's 888-227-8255.
Hello, you're on CAR-TALK.
Hi, this is Peter, and I'm in Mill Valley, California.
Hi, Peter.
How you doing?
I'm really good, gentlemen.
How's yourself today?
That's good.
We're not bad.
I have no complaints.
Well, you should complain.
Why?
Because it's worse than you think it is.
What are you, a psychiatrist?
Psychologist.
Ah, see?
I can tell.
So, what's up?
Well, I've got a 1986 Honda Accord fuel injected, and what it does is driving out in California
in kind of our nominal inclement weather when it's like 60 or 70 degrees, and I ride short
distances, and then I stop, and the cooling fan comes on, and it won't go off.
What's the longest time it's ever run for?
Well, you know, I don't sit by at the time, but it'll go on for like 10, 15 minutes, 20
minutes.
Have you called the Guinness people?
I mean, they may be money in this.
Well, only the Guinness stout people.
Well, you know, it's supposed to come on.
You know, I'm looking at the temperature gauge, and it's...
It's dead cold, and the thing's still running.
It's pretty cold, and it's still running.
It's got short distances on it.
If I get in the car and then turn on the ignition, I don't start the motor, but I just engage
that contact.
Right.
Then shut it off.
Then the fan will go off.
Right.
Well, there are a lot of choices here.
Yeah.
To fix it, there is a cooling fan timer device, which works in conjunction with the fan and
the switch that's in the radiator.
You have a switch that's screwed into the radiator that reads the radiator temperature.
But that sends a signal to this timer, which is located under the dash, right in the middle.
And that timer is supposed to run the thing for a predetermined amount of time after the
thing shuts off, almost regardless of what the temperature is.
So, you need to replace that timer unit.
Okay.
It's called the cooling fan timer.
You can probably find one at an auto recycling center.
You know what that is?
Junkyard.
That's where I take my cans and bottles.
That's the place.
Yeah.
You might be able to do that, or you might have to buy a new one from the dealer.
But alternatively, you could do what you've been doing.
You know how to fix this by turning the key back on.
Correct.
So, you could continue to do that.
If you are real cheapskate and you didn't want to fool around with it.
Boy, you got me all right.
I think if you were willing to sit there for one minute after you stopped the car.
I can do that.
And that during that one minute, you'd let the fan run, then you turn the key on, turn
it off, and you'd leave the car.
It would be good if all cars had some kind of a peculiarity like this, which required
people to sit there for a minute after they shut the engine off.
It'd really be a contemplative moment, wouldn't it?
I mean, all these people who are jumping out of the car, think about all these frazzled
and frenzied housewives and mothers jumping out of their little mini vans to go somewhere
and do something if they were obliged, required to sit there for 60 seconds.
Well, that would be the mandatory minute, wouldn't it?
The mandatory minute.
I mean, I love it.
I love it too.
Huh?
Maybe we could get Detroit to do this for us.
They owe us something God knows.
Certainly, a computer chip could stall the car for at least 60 seconds while you contemplated.
Yeah, I'll lock the doors.
At least.
Lock you in.
I like that.
I like locking the doors.
Well, good luck, Peter.
Well, thank you so much.
And we thank you for your input because we're going to ponder this contemplative minute.
It'll be a beautiful thing.
What did you call it?
Meditative.
The meditative minute.
The meditative.
The mandatory meditative.
The meditative minute.
Mandatory.
3M.
3M.
Here it is.
Cool.
All righty.
Yeah.
See ya, Peter.
Thanks so much.
The magnificent mandatory meditative minute.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I like that even better.
4M's.
M&M's.
Could be sponsored by M&M's.
You could eat the bag of M&M's.
That would take about a minute.
That's right.
This could be an ad campaign.
This could be our ticket out of this dump.
The mandatory M&M meditative minute.
That's 5M's.
I love it.
I'm telling ya.
There's big money here.
You never listen to me.
Well, it's happened again.
You vaporized yet another hour listening to car talk.
Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion Berman.
Our associate producer is Ken the Diaper Slayer Rogers.
Our assistant producer is Frau Catherine Fenolosa.
Good work, George.
Our engineer this week is George Hicks.
Our senior web lackey is Doug Sheepboy Mayer and our technical, spiritual and menu advisor
is John Bugsy, make that two triple cheeseburgers luller.
Is he on the free lunch tour again this week?
He is.
He's on the tour.
I talked to him just the other day and he's everywhere, man.
Choking down another cheeseburger.
Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky of Murky Research, assisted by statistician
Margin O'Vara.
Our customer care representative is Haywood Jabuzoff.
Our pseudonym consultant is Norm DePlume, the head of our division of threat assessment
is Ewan Whatarmy.
Our director of luxury car horns is Tony Blair and I like that.
And our car stereo installer is Carlos Antena.
Our chief counsel from the law firm of Dewey Chittam and Howell G. Lewis Dewey known to
the sunbaters in Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey.
Thanks so much for listening.
We're clicking clack to Tafford Brothers and Don't Drive Like My Brother.
Don't Drive Like My Brother.
We'll be back next week.
Bye-bye.
And now, a special guest here in Cartalk Plaza is our chief mechanic, Mr. Vinnie Gumbaz.
Vinnie, thank you very much.
Now, if you want to copy this here show, which is number 00003, just pick up your phone and
call this number 1-888-888-888-CATJUNK.
And what if I wanted some other Cartalk stuff, I mean, you know, like a Best of Cartalk CD
or something like that.
Would I call that same number then?
No, you call Henry Popiel and ask him to come free with the Parker Fisherman you taupe.
No, you call the Shameless Commerce Division at 888-CATJUNK or visit it online at the Cartalk
section at cars.com, you know.
Thank you, Vinnie.
That was very well delivered.
A deliver this, bub.
The Cartalk is a production of Dooley-Chitterman Howe and WBUR in Boston.
And even though 98% of all laboratory mice beg scientists for earplugs when they hear
us say it, this is NPR, National Public Radio.
Greenland.
Our reporters on the ground connect the dots to explain a world order changing beneath
our feet.
Listen to sources and methods on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.
This year on ThroughLine, NPR's History Podcast.
For generations, an American quest has shaped the world, life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness.
Now 250 years in, what is that pursuit really about?
Well, join us each Tuesday for an essential new series, America in Pursuit from ThroughLine
on the NPR app or wherever you get podcasts.
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